Welcome to the “Monday morning of weird, humorous and totally non-political” post. Why not start your week with a chuckle? This Monday’s theme is dumb, dumber and dumbest. Read on and you will see why.
Missed the Last Bus? Here’s What You Do …
Imagine being discharged from the hospital late at night. So late, in fact, that it is too late to call a friend or family member, and … drat! There went the last bus of the evening! What to do? But wait … there is an ambulance sitting right … there … engine running, all gassed up and ready to go! So what do you do? Well, you hop in the driver’s seat and take your weary bones home, of course! Isn’t that what anyone would do? Well, perhaps not, but it is what Lisa Carr, age 43 did last Thursday night. Since the ambulance was equipped with GPS, the police had no trouble tracking her down and arresting her for theft, failure to comply with police and driving under suspension. She did, however, drive within the speed limit. Personally, I might have been tempted to hit the siren and lights just to, for once, be able to see people actually get out of my way!
Okay, Who Has the Lunar Bag???
On 20 July 1969, astronaut Neil Armstrong uttered his now-famous words, “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” Then he and fellow astronaut Buzz Aldrin spent the next several hours picking up rocks and other material off the surface of the moon and putting them in a bag to bring home for analysis. That bag is priceless, a part of the history of space exploration, a rare artifact, a national treasure, right? Or maybe not. Earlier this month, due to a “clerical error”, the bag was sold for just under $1,000 to a Nancy Carlson from Illinois. The erroneous sale might have gone unnoticed by NASA officials, but Ms. Carlson sent the bag to NASA for authentication, and when they realized what had happened, they kept the bag. Now Ms. Carlson is suing NASA to get her bag back, and NASA is suing to regain legal ownership. My money is on NASA to win this one, but probably not without a sizeable monetary payment to Ms. Carlson for her “mental anguish” or some such thing. No word on what became of the clerk who initially assigned the bag the wrong number, leading to the sale, but I’m thinking she may be polishing her resume right about now!
Would You Like Fries With That?
A word to the wise: If you want to rob a fast-food joint, scope it out a bit first, and if you see nearly a dozen members of a special ops force eating their dinner, you might just want to back out real slowly and come back later. Or never. This was the lesson learned by two men who planned to rob a McDonald’s in Ecole-Valentin in Eastern France in June. So focused were the two on the task at hand that they failed to notice the 11 burly Special Forces Commandos who were eating their dinner. But the commandos noticed them, and rather than disrupt the customers, went outside to wait for the robbers. To compound their stupidity, the robbers refused to halt when ordered to surrender. One was shot in the stomach, and the other was injured falling down the stairs. And all for what, you ask? About $2,000.
Okay … enough chuckling this fine Monday morn. Now let’s get out there and try to be a bit smarter than the people you just read about! And hey … while you’re at it, try to bring a smile to somebody’s face today. The title language for today, by the way, is Greek.