I actually planned to skip this week’s “politic-free Monday” post.  I wasn’t feeling particularly humorous, didn’t figure anybody else was either, so “why bother?”  But then, I was reminded that it is my civic duty to try to bring a bright spot into people’s week on what might otherwise be a bleak and depressing Monday.  Never one to shirk her duty, then … here I am with what I hope will make everybody smile at least once this morning.

As anybody who regularly reads this blog knows, I am not a big supporter of pipelines as a rule.  I have vented more than once against the Keystone XL pipeline, and recently against the Dakota Access pipeline.  But today I found a pipeline that I think I can throw my full support behind!  It is a very short pipeline … a mere two miles underneath the town of Bruges, Belgium.  It runs from De Halve Maan (The Half Moon) Brewery to its bottling plant, carrying 1,000 gallons of beer per hour.  At first the city government was against the idea, but this pipeline actually has a positive environmental impact, taking some 500 polluting tanker trucks off the roadways, so the city finally agreed.  The project cost about 4 million euros, or $4.5 million. But the brewery discovered an innovative way to raise the funds: promise donors free beer for life. More than 500 people contributed.  Backers are to be rewarded “with free beer for life in proportion to their contribution,” said Xavier Vanneste, director of De Halve Maan.  “For example, someone that only made a small investment will get maybe a pack of beer every year on his birthday. But someone who paid the maximum amount may receive up to one bottle of beer a day for the rest of his or her life.”

It occurs to me from time to time that there are many people in this world who have more money than they do sense.  Okay, maybe it occurs to me almost daily when I see the things that people will waste money on.  But really … is an 18-karat gold toilet necessary?  Heck I would just be happy if I had one that I didn’t have to tighten the seat bolts every day or two!  But apparently Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan thought it was a good idea, so he designed one for the “America” exhibit at the Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum in New York City.  No, it is not one of the exhibits, but is actually in the fourth-floor restroom for visitors to use.  Again, I must beg the question:  WHY????  The museum says that the exhibit “offers a wink to the excesses of the art market but also evokes the American dream of opportunity for all.” Sorry, but when I dream of ‘opportunity’, my dreams have absolutely nothing to do with a gold toilet.

Okay, so we all like to have a good laugh on the meteorologist from time to time … especially when we make plans based on their forecast and then it turns out to be 180° off.  But apparently humans are not the only ones who sometimes do not like meteorologists!  A group of five Russian meteorologists assigned to a weather station in a remote island in the Arctic has been held hostage for the past two weeks.  By a group of polar bears.  Yes, you heard me right.  Polar bears.  The group of polar bears swarmed the weather station two weeks ago, and have even taken to sleeping under the windows at night.  Typically when this happens, the meteorologists use flares to scare the bears … hey, that rhymes … flares to scare the bears!  Anyway, they have run out of flares, so they are stuck with the bears.  While the meteorologists are not currently in immediate danger, the weather bureau in Arkhangelsk — itself around 1,200 miles south of the islands and a week away by boat — is planning on sending a ship with more flares and devices that cause small explosions to scare away the animals. Why, you may ask, are the polar bears a bigger problem this year than most?  Take a guess … a wild guess.  Yes, folks, climate change, in this case global warming that has shrunk the ice they rely on for their hunting grounds.  Since polar bears are an endangered species, it is, thankfully, against the law to shoot them.  In the words of station chief Vasily Shevchenko, “The bears live in the Arctic, you know — we can’t ban them from hanging around.”

And thus ends your Monday morning chuckle.  Now grab your keys, your cup o’ java, and head on out the door.  Keep safe, have a happy week, and remember … pass that chuckle on … give somebody a reason to smile today!  The title language is Bengali.