Today is Monday! Bet you didn’t know that, did you? See, if I hadn’t told you, you might have thought it was Sunday and spent the day enjoying yourself when you really needed to go to work. No, no … no need to thank me … just seeing your BIG SMILE is thanks enough!
And take heart, for in the Chatham Islands of New Zealand, it is already Tuesday! Now on with the show …
Not your average cowbell
Nancy Holten has lived in Switzerland for 33 years and recently applied for Swiss citizenship, however, the request was denied. Is Nancy a terrorist? No. Is she a criminal? No. So what, then, kept Swiss officials from approving her citizenship application? Nancy does not like cowbells. Yes, you heard me … she objects, apparently quite vociferously, to cowbells on the grounds that they are harmful to cows because they are too loud and heavy and should be outlawed.
Nancy, you see, is an animal rights activist, and has publicly protested the use of cowbells more than a few times. In Switzerland, citizenship requests are processed at the local level, and the locals are tired of hearing Nancy complain, so even though she has lived nearly 80% of her life in the Swiss village of Gipf-Oberfrick, she was denied citizenship by the village officials. “She annoys us and doesn’t respect our traditions,” local politician Tanja Suter said.
There may be a bit more to the story, as Nancy has also complained about the noise of church bells near her home early in the morning. Perhaps Nancy simply does not like bells! At any rate, Nancy continues to live in Switzerland, though sans citizenship. Personally, I would invest in a good pair of earplugs.
I know this Monday morning post is guaranteed to be about anything EXCEPT politics, so I hope this joke I came across doesn’t break that promise, but it was just too humorous to pass up!
The King’s Meteorologist
Once upon a time there was a king who wanted to go fishing. He called the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours. The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days.
So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen.
On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once because in just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area”.
The king was polite and considerate, he replied: “I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional, and I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him and I will continue on my way.” So they did.
However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the weatherman at once! Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster.
The farmer said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain.” So instead, the King hired the donkey on the spot.
And thus began the ancient-old practice of hiring asses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions…
Too windy? Call the cops!
One night last week, it was exceptionally windy in Niagara Falls, New York, and the sound of the wind was keeping at least one resident awake that night. So, he did what anybody would do … he called the police!
A Niagara Falls police dispatcher informed officers that a resident had called to request police stop the wind from blowing: “All cars be advised, someone called to see if the police could stop the wind from blowing so they could sleep. If any of you guys could do that, could you let me know?”
You all know I cannot resist at least one cute animal story on Monday morning, right?
Lost Quokka! Reward: Free Skydive!
“One of our Quokkas has escaped from Rottnest Island, help us #findquokkasteve. Please keep your eyes open for any sightings and report to Department of Parks and Wildlife, Western Australia on (08) 9474 9055. Last seen in Canning Vale area, please do not touch the Quokka if found just keep an eye on him until Department of Parks and Wildlife arrive. The RIA are providing a free trip to Rottnest along with Skydive Geronimo Rottnest now offering a free skydive as a reward if anyone finds Quokka Steve.”
Until today, I never heard of a quokka. Turns out it is a marsupial (think kangaroo, koala) and it has a very limited habitat, existing almost exclusively on a small island off the coast of Australia, Rottnest Island. The story goes that the island is actually named for the quokka. An early Dutch visitor to the island, Willem de Vlamingh, mistook the marsupials for large rats when he arrived in 1696. He named the island “Rattennest” (Dutch for “Rat’s Nest”), which was later adapted to Rottnest. Check out this in Animal Facts Guide for more interesting info about quokkas.
Meanwhile, the missing quokka is named Steve, and it is believed he has inadvertently been transported by barge to a recycling center in Perth (western Australia). Penni Fletcher-Hughes of Rottnest Island Authority said, “We are not concerned in terms of him finding food…it’s other threats and just general stress. It’s a bit stressful to suddenly wake up in a recycling center.” No doubt.
I hope they find Steve, but even when they do, he will not be returned to Rottnest Island to roam free, as there is fear that he could have picked up something in his travels that could infect the other quokkas on the island. Quokkas are listed as vulnerable due to declining populations and loss of habitat from logging and development, so no chances will be taken, and Steve will either be placed in the Perth Zoo, or a wildlife park.
And thus, my friends, concludes another Monday morning post, and it is time for us to get to work! I hope you found something to make you smile or chuckle here, and I hope that you will pass along the smile to your co-workers or whoever you may see today!