10 … 9 … 8 … 7 … 6 … 5 … 4 … 3 … 2 … 1 … HAPPY MONDAY!!!!!

Monday-cake.jpg

A bit much, huh?  Yeah … I was trying to infuse the morning with some excitement, but … I think the cake, confetti and all may be a bit much, ’cause my stomach is flip-flopping.  Okay … how ’bout this one …

coffeecinnrolls

Oh yeah … much better.  So … welcome to yet another Monday morning … the start of a new {yawn} week.  I feared I might not be able to find anything humorous for this morning’s post, but as it happened, I popped onto one of my favourite sites for funny stories, and was chuckling within minutes.  Then, one of my feline housemates, Miss Nala, began her attention-getting antics, and I was, much to my surprise, actually laughing!  For those of you who do not have the benefit of four-legged critters, I must tell you, they are better than an old Three Stooges movie for brightening your mood!  Plus … there is the added benefit of fur on the carpet and furniture, hairballs on the floor … litter boxes to scoop … having to vacuum every day … mop twice a week and … oh heck, never mind … I just lost my own debate.  Okay … on that note, let us proceed to the fun part of the morning …


Safer Superbowl

Guess WHAT?????  This coming Sunday is … {drumroll} … SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!!!!  Now, I realize that my friends across the big pond probably don’t understand why this is such big news (frankly, I don’t either, as I do not enjoy watching football) and I’m sure would even argue that American football is NOT even ‘real’ football!  Still, I think you’ll get a kick out of this one.  I thought for sure this had to be a joke, but nope … it’s for real:

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The limited-edition “Party Safe” Tostitos bag, designed by Goodby Silverstein & Partners, contains a sensor connected to a microcontroller that detects trace amounts of alcohol on a person’s breath, turning the front of the bag red and showing an image of a steering wheel and the message, “Don’t Drink and Drive.”

The bag also flashes an Uber code and contains technology that allows the holder to tap their phone against it to order an Uber for $10 off during and after the Super Bowl on February 5th.

“A lot of times all you need to stop short of driving after drinking is a friend who calls you off. On Sunday of the big game, we want Tostitos to be that friend.

I don’t know … most of the drunks I have known in my lifetime are convinced that they are actually better drivers drunk than they are sober, and nobody can convince them otherwise.  And … I have to wonder what a bag of these costs???  I will check when I go to the grocery later this week and get back to you on that …


Hamburger Harry

Now here is a guy with way to much money to burn … or grill.  His name is Harry Sperl, but they call him Hamburger Harry.  Harry is said to have the largest collection of hamburger memorabilia in the world!  I didn’t even know there was such a thing as ‘hamburger memorabilia’.  Now, if you’re thinking that by hamburger memorabilia, I mean a wrapper from Hardee’s, a crown from Burger King, or a toy from a McDonald’s Happy Meal, think again. Harry has a hamburger Harley!  Take a close look and note the onion on the rear wheel, the tomato on the front wheel, and the ketchup on the whatever-that-thing-is-called.

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And a hamburger waterbed …

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And countless other burger treasures …

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Harry holds the Guinness World Record for “Largest collection of hamburger related items” with 3,724 items in his Daytona Beach home. He said his prolonged passion for hamburger memorabilia stemmed from his belief that the burger represents the core of American culture. Hmmm … maybe …  Ah well … I collect books, Harry collects burgers … to each his own, yes?


And speaking of burgers …

Monday-bk-2.jpgThe Burger King up in Epping, New Hampshire, had a bit of a problem earlier this month.  It seems that customers going through the drive-thru would ask the person at the window if “Nasty Boy” was working.  If the answer was ‘yes’, then they would order “fries extra crispy”.  But instead of French fries, what they got when they pulled forward to pick up their order was a coffee cup filled with … marijuana!

monday-bk“Nasty Boy” turns out to be an employee, 20-year-old Garrett Norris, who was arrested last week along with his shift leader, Meagan Dearborn.  Ms. Dearborn had this to say:  “I didn’t know what was going on, but since I took the order and gave them the food they charged me. Basically there was an undercover cop that one of my employees sold to and I took the order and I got arrested.” Somehow I am not buying that story, but I’m sure she will get a chance to try to sell it to a judge or jury sometime soon.

Two things I wonder:  What happened if you were an innocent customer and just happened to say the code word “fries extra crispy”?  I would be pretty surprised to find a cup of pot in with my order!  And … I wonder what they charged for those “fries”?  I mean, if Burger King fries range from $1.79 for a small order to $2.39 for a large … that is a bit below the going rate for a cup o’ weed, I’m thinking …


Dumb, Dumber and …

monday-blackjackWhat do you do if you’re playing blackjack at a casino and you aren’t having a very good night, but you can feel Lady Luck breathing down your collar … you know that THE BIG ONE is just a few more deals away?  What do you do?  Well duh, you take a break, go rob a bank, then come back to the table with your ill-gotten gains and play some more!

monday-bankAt least that’s what Kerry Johnson of North Carolina did.  He later told a judge that he was under the influence of drugs, and I’m inclined to believe it, because the bank Kerry robbed was the same one he had done business with for 40 years!  Now I ask you, how smart is that?  He handed the teller a note claiming that he was armed with a gun and a bomb, and walked out with $5,000. “It was less money than I had in my account,” he later told the judge.  He pled guilty to second degree robbery and will face between 5-18 years when he is sentenced on March 2.


One more chuckle before I bid you adieu … my friend Herb found this video of a deer and a rabbit playing in a yard, and it is the cutest thing I have seen all week, so be sure to check it out … guaranteed to bring a smile to your face … Bambi & Thumper???


And on that note, I see I have taken up far too much of your morning and now, if you don’t hurry, you will be late to work and blame it on poor ol’ Filosofa.  As always, I ask you to pass along a bit of kindness today, share a smile, take a minute to remember the things that are good in your life.  Keep safe and most of all …

mon-funny

mon-funny-2

'Getting fired right now. Have no idea Y!       : ('

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