Ah, once again we find that we have arrived at that day … the day that sometimes sets the tone for the week ahead … Monday. For better or for worse, like it or not, today is Monday and we cannot change that, so we might as well all try to make the best of it, yes? This blog is honoured with readers from around the world, so I do not know what the weather is in your neck of the woods, but today it was 78 degrees (F) here, and the sun was shining! My neighbor planted some flowers in my yard! I feel a warm glow inside, so I shall try to share that warm glow and help you start the week with a smile or a chuckle or two, though be forewarned that I am not at my humorous best today. So grab your coffee … go ahead … I’ll wait.
A cell phone tower is a pretty big thing, right? The tower in question here was 68-feet, about the height of a six-story building, and it was stolen! Or was it?
Royal Canadian Mounted Police in Manitoba shared a notice about the 68-foot tower on Thursday, stating it had been stolen Sunday from Egg Lake, north of Winnipeg. “The tower was disassembled and loaded onto a trailer, behind a red Dodge dually truck,” police said. According to police, the truck was last seen Monday traveling east on Provincial Trunk Highway. Police said the thieves may have spent a night in The Pas and have requested any citizens with information about a truck or trailer transporting the tower materials contact the department.
Why would anybody go to all that trouble to steal a cell tower? It seems almost certain that one would get caught at some stage of the process. And then what to do with it when you get it home? Well, then on Friday came a brief statement from the RCMP that there had been a “miscommunication” and the tower was not stolen, but was being moved from its previous location by new owners. Well, a bit anti-climactic, but it was a fun story while it lasted.
And speaking of people stealing things … do you realize how many people, when using a public restroom, take extra toilet tissue to take home for their personal use? Apparently a lot of people do this, at least in China, because China has now installed elaborate toilet tissue dispensers that contain facial recognition software!
The newly installed machines in bathrooms at Temple of Heaven park in Beijing scan visitors’ faces for three seconds before rationing 24 to 27.5 inches of toilet paper, which the park upgraded from one-ply to two-ply. If you need more, you have to wait nine minutes before the machine will dispense more. I’m big on privacy, and to know that my picture is being taken while I am … um … no … just no. Remind me, should I ever plan to visit China, to take several rolls of my own toilet tissue along!
The new dispensers are actually an improvement over public restrooms in some parts of China that offer no toilet tissue at all, or have a single roll for everybody to share! And oh yes … I almost forgot to mention, while on the subject … there is a brand of toilets in China named Trump! Fitting, don’t you think?
And speaking of China … A Chinese zoo, the Wuhan Haichang Ocean Park in Hubei province, has a real deal … an opportunity of a lifetime, so to speak! First, though, you must undergo a physical exam, then cough up $145, for which you will get the opportunity to spend a full three hours … wait for it … cleaning up polar bear poop!
Park spokesperson Chen Ting said the goal of the program is education. “It’s the first time the park has had a program targeting adults. It is a pilot to popularize science and knowledge of the animal for the public good, not for money. We actually don’t want too many participants as that would disturb them.”
Boy those Chinese sure do know how to have fun, don’t they?
Remember my Jolly Monday post back in February, where I told you about the President of Iceland, Guðni Th. Jóhannesson, and how he stirred controversy around the globe when he said that if he had the power to do so, he would ban pineapple on pizza? Apparently world leaders take their pizza and toppings pretty darn seriously, because now we have another. This time it’s New Zealand Prime Minister, Bill English who, rather than decrying pineapple as a pizza topping, is endorsing … canned spaghetti on pizza!
Filosofa says, “YUCK”. I feel much about canned spaghetti the way the unnamed character in the Dr. Seuss classic felt about green eggs and ham!
“Cooked dinner for the family last night — like if you agree with tinned spaghetti on pizza!” he wrote in the post, which included photos of his spaghetti-and-pineapple topped pies.
The post received thousands of likes from apparent fans of spaghetti pizza, while hundreds of commenters chided the premiere for violating the sanctity of their favorite dish.
“Sorry Bill, any man who puts spaghetti on a pizza is not fit to run my country, you cannot count on my vote come election time,” one New Zealander wrote. Seems a little harsh to me …
Even Jimmy Kimmel had to get in on the act:
“He put canned spaghetti and pineapples on a pizza — this mother … can I say the F-word? That is so offensive, that is an act of war. I think he just declared war on Italy. And maybe Hawaii too. I don’t know. Impeach that man immediately, New Zealand. This is why I’ve always preferred Old Zealand.”
And so concludes another Jolly Monday. I hope you found something that brought a smile, not only to your face, but to your heart as well. Next week I must try to remember to tell you about our cat, Boo, who not only reads, but also types cryptic messages on my laptop whenever I step away and forget to put the lid down. I’m trying to teach him to roll my cigarettes … he is that smart, but there’s the opposable thumbs thing …
Anyway, have a safe and happy day today, and share that smile! Since next Sunday is Easter, a few Easter-related cartoons are in order …