Just Another Jolly Monday …

Monday-alarmWAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!

You folks overslept and you are missing out on a beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful MONDAY MORNING!!!  I’ve been awake for hours (well, actually I’m writing this on Sunday afternoon, so I really have been awake for hours).  Did you enjoy your weekend?  Mine was so quiet you could hear a pin drop … daughter Chris was out of town at a band competition in Tennessee and Miss Goose was focused on her art, so except for the Significant Seven and their antics, the silence in this house was almost deafening.  Anyway, the weekend is over and it’s time to resume the routine, so let us find some fun things to start this week!

Grab your beverage of choice … I have a selection this week!

(don’t ask about the duck)

The cat’s name is Lord Bigglesworth, Mr. Biggles for short, and he is up for adoption.  I’m not sure how successful this venture will be, however, given the ad placed by Cat People of Melbourne rescue in Australia:

Mr Biggles (also known as Lord Bigglesworth) is an utter utter utter bastard. He looks gorgeous with his slinky shiny black fur and big yellow eyes… but beware. If he doesn’t like what you’re doing he will give you a nip! Sometimes he likes to swipe at your feet too. It just depends on what he can reach at the time.

Mr Biggles does not like to be thwarted. He throws a catty tantrum if he can’t go outside when he wants to be let out (and he wasn’t allowed outside for the first couple of weeks at his carers house so there was a few tantrums!). Not being fed on time, or allowed to strut across the kitchen benches helping himself to whatever is there is also a tantrum inducing exercise.

Mr Biggles is a despot and dictator, he will let you know he is not happy, which is often because things are often just not up to his high standards. There is some warning that Lord Bigglesworth is displeased with you, his eyes will go dark and tail will start swishing harder. Mr Biggles likes his cuddles on his terms, and will sit in your lap when he decides it’s time. If the stroking is not up to his standards, he will nip you.

Monday-cat-2

Lord Bigglesworth

Sounds like a lovely companion, don’t you think?  One of our Significant Seven would make a great companion for Mr. Biggles, for she is just like him … her name, inappropriately, is Tiger Lily, for when she was a babe, we knew not that she would turn into a terrorizer!

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Tiger-Lily in a rare peaceful moment

(don’t ask about the duck)

Remember back in March when I wrote about a woman who had crafted her wedding dress entirely from Taco Bell wrappers?  (♫ It’s The Most Wonderful Day Of The Week ♪)  Well … this ‘art’ of making wedding dresses from … er, shall we say, trash … seems to be becoming a trend.  Today I give you Emily Seilhamer,   a Pennsylvania woman who took it to an even higher level.  She fashioned her wedding dress from … wait for it … Starburst wrappers!

Monday-dress-1Yep, that little, tiny candy … care to guess how long it took her to collect enough wrappers for a dress?  Four years, and that was with help from friends and family!  But wait … there’s more.  After finally getting enough of the little ½” wrappers, Emily then organized them into colors, ironed them, folded them into links, and made candy wrapper chains. She ironed more than 10,000 Starburst wrappers!  First thing that came to my mind was, it’s a good thing she didn’t require a size 22 dress, else she would still be at the ironing board.

Monday-dress-ironAnd of course, the biggest question of all:  WHY???  Turns out that “My husband and I met when he offered me a pack of Starburst a few years before the project started. As his favorite candy he began to save grocery bags full of wrappers for me,” said Ms. Seilhamer.

And, for contributing to the dress by eating all those Starburst, hubby’s dentist is now able to afford a trip to the Bahamas!

(don’t ask about the duck)

Monday-carriage.jpgCharleston, South Carolina – a southern city with a leisurely pace, horse-drawn carriages seen on the streets.  Serene … peaceful … UNTIL last Thursday when a team of carriage horses was spooked, causing the driver to suffer a broken foot and people on the street to stop dead in their tracks.  What, you may ask, spooked the horses?  Well, folks, while we have been told by scientists that dinosaurs have been extinct for thousands of years … suspend your disbelief for just a moment, for it was none other than a Tyrannosaurus Rex that scared the horses, Yogi and Boo-Boo!  Hold on … I see you shaking your heads and rolling your eyes, thinking to yourself that Filosofa drank too much of that lovely red wine, but I kid you not!

Monday=dinoOkay, okay … turns out it was a person (a woman, as it were) dressed in a dinosaur costume, and there is some dispute about exactly what happened.  Some said that as the carriage passed by, the dinosaur began growling at the horses, thus spooking them and causing the carriage to strike an unoccupied vehicle, and the carriage driver to tumble out, falling under the wheel, which then ran over his foot.  Others, however, say the dinosaur was minding his own business and the horses were spooked, having always believed the creatures of yore to be extinct.  Either way, Yogi suffered only minor abrasions, Boo-Boo is fine and has had great fun telling the tale to his equine buddies back at the stable, and the unnamed driver will mend.

(don’t ask about the duck)

The majority of readers of this blog are not currently in the dating pool, but a few are, so I want to caution you to be careful what you do on a date … you could find yourself in court!

Monday-Texas-man

Brandon Vezmar

Brandon Vezmar of Austin, Texas, is suing a woman for the $17.31 he spent on a date where he claims she texted throughout the movie they attended together. The lawsuit alleges the woman opened her phone to read and send text messages 10 to 20 times during the film, thereby “affecting his viewing experience”.  When he told her that her constant texting was driving him “a little bit nuts”, she responded, “I can’t not text my friend.”

Monday-texting-theaterOkay … Filosofa’s take on this:  First, if he were very good company, if she were truly interested in him, then texting her friend would be the last thing on her mind.  Second, if I had been in his shoes, I would have simply gotten up and walked out, gone home, and left her to wonder what went wrong.  And third … a lawsuit for $17.31????  Seriously????  Sounds to me like these two duds deserved each other!

(don’t ask about the duck)

And now, much as I hate to, I must send you on your jolly little ways … I’m sure you all have better things to do than sit and chuckle.  Wait … there’s something better to do than sit and chuckle?  But alas … in order to afford the electricity to keep that laptop going, you must go out there and earn a living.  I will return next Monday morning with more Jolly Monday for your viewing pleasure.  Meanwhile … go share that smile with a co-worker, neighbor, or even your boss!  Keep safe and have a wonderful week!

(don’t ask about the duck)

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Monday-cartoon-1Monday-cartoon-2

Monday-last-duck

Don’t ask about the duck!

20 thoughts on “Just Another Jolly Monday …

  1. Dear Jill,
    What duck. I am still in love with your Monday posts. Great job! The guy who was suing was an idiot and so was she.It is a lot of extra work to sue somone instead of just sharing a few blessed words.
    Hugs, Gronda

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jill, too fun. You reminded me of a true story about the Charleston carriage drivers and perspective. While visiting, we took a ride and when we passed an original Charleston Bank that had been purchased by then Wachovia Bank in Winston–Salem, North Carolina, the driver said “That used to be our bank until those carpetbaggers from the North, Wachovia, bought it.” Well, it is north of South Carolina. Keith

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I love these Monday posts, reminds me the world is not all grim facts.
    Brandon, my dear boy, I fear you have much to learn about the fairer sex. Truth be known young fellow, much to learn about the world. Be honest, do you think you are now viewed as a figure of dignity and male maturity, or is the cold realisation creeping up on you that you have become a thing of amusement for that most cruel of courts Social Media? Retreat young man, and reflect; the world can be a harsh place for those who make themselves vulnerable to its jibes. Leave that odd arena to those of us who hardened and shaped by the trails and tribulations of Life care not for its judgements and take our own delights to warding off the attacks. These are our amusements in our final decades, we have nothing to loose you see.
    (Y’know Jill, I have not a clue where that came from…. I’ll have to put it down to reading Jerome K Jerome again)

    Liked by 2 people

    • 😀 😀 😀 I must say, Roger, you had me laughing so hard I darn near choked on my coffee! I only wish young Brandon could read your response! I am unfamiliar with Jerome K Jerome, so I Googled him briefly … I learned more from his quotes than from Wikipedia … interesting dude. Did you know there is a beer company in Argentina named after him, because the founder was a fan of Three Men in a Boat? You broaden my horizons! 😀 😀 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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