Good and lovely Monday morning dear friends from around the globe!!! This is the final Monday in the month of May, and I am stunned … where has the year gone??? I think I must have passed much of it in a haze or daze, as I still think it should be March! Just the other day a friend posted the number of days ’til Christmas, and my daughter mentioned something about decorating for Hallowe’en! Nononono, people! Somebody slow this world down … I need time to go slower so that I can at least remember the days!
I would like to wish my Muslim friends, readers and neighbors Ramadan mubarak. Ramadan began on Friday 26 May and goes until Saturday, 24 June.
And now, let us try to find a bit of humour to start this week off, shall we? So grab your coffee … or, um … whatever … and enjoy a bit of a chuckle …
Burger King fast-food restaurants have many locations worldwide, including Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, and many of the countries in the European Union. However they do not yet have a restaurant in Belgium. They are slated to open a Belgium location next month, but there is some controversy here. Apparently, the head honchos over at Burger King thought it would be cute to launch an advertising campaign with a website asking citizens of Belgium to choose between the Burger ‘King’, and Belgium’s own King Philippe. Well, that did not go over too big with the Belgium Royal Family!
A visit to the website prompts users to pick one: Belgian King Philippe, or the company’s mascot. If the user picks Philippe, the ad asks “Are you sure? He won’t be the one to cook your fries.” If they pick him again, then the only option offered is “no.”
A spokesman for the Belgian royal family told the BBC the monarchy does not grant permission for photos to be used for profit, as in the case with Burger King’s marketing venture. “We disapprove of this approach,” royal spokesman Pierre Emmanuel de Bauw said. “Since it is for commercial purposes, we would not have given our authorization.” A mite touchy, aren’t they?
I have found the perfect job for me! Only problem … it is in Ireland and I am … well, not in Ireland. But it is a job at which I have plenty of experience. Just Cats Veterinary Clinic and Cattery has a job opening for a professional “cat cuddler.” The job posting asks for “a crazy cat person who loves cats” with “gentle hands capable of petting and stroking cats for long periods of time.”
Are you a crazy cat person and loves cats?
Does cattitude come naturally to you?
Have you counted kittens before you go asleep?
Do you feed the stray cats in your locality?
Does petting cats make you feel warm and fuzzy?
If you answer yes to some or all of these questions, how about working with cats as a full time job at Just Cats Veterinary Clinic?
I already do this job … I just don’t get paid money for it, but I get paid in purrs and snuggles, so it’s all good!
Now here’s a headline you don’t see often:
Girl, 11, Accuses Teacher Of ‘War Crime’ Under ‘Geneva Conventions’
The girl is 11-year-old Ava Cross of Glasgow, Scotland, and her father, author Mason Cross , said he wasn’t sure whether to ground her or buy her ice cream when he learned of her response on the feedback form. The form asked students to list things their teacher could do better, to which young Ava replied: “Not use collective punishment as it is not fair on the many people who did nothing and under the 1949 Geneva Conventions it is a war crime.” This girl is obviously getting a good education … at age 11, I don’t think I was quite aware what the Geneva Conventions even were!!! Dad said the precocious youngster is “11 going on 47.”
Here is a short one, but one of those that make you say ‘awwwwwwww’. Or at least it made me say that, but then I have a soft, squishy heart when it comes to critters. An unnamed owner of a home aquarium in Lidingo, Sweden, found one of his fish on the bottom of the tank one morning, apparently injured and unable to swim. 😥
Now, many would just write the fish off and either let it die, or help it along with a toilet flush, but not this man! He went the extra mile and created a little harness from two twist ties and a floating piece of cork that allows the fish to move around the tank with his fishy friends! Here is a short video of li’l fishie using his new device!
I guess you have to be Scottish to understand the outrage in this story … I just found it humorous. Former President Obama traveled to Scotland last week, his first visit there. While there, he took time for a round of golf on the world-famous course in St Andrews. At some point, Obama was handed a bottle of the Scottish soda pop Irn Bru, and a photo was snapped. No biggie, right? WRONG. The Scots are livid … well, some of them anyway.
You might wonder why are they so angry. Isn’t Irn Bru an iconic Scottish drink, showing off the best of the wonderful country? Well, they gave him the sugar-free version. And Scots are NOT happy.
“This is not a drill: Barack Obama has been given some Irn Bru in St Andrews.”
“Who the hell gave Obama sugar-free Irn Bru?!?!”
“What treachery to all that is scottish and holy is this?”
“Imagine giving Obama diet Irn Bru. Could’ve been worse and handed him that new Xtra stuff that pretends to be sweet still but isn’t.”
Gutted that Obama has been given sugar-free Irn Bru instead of the real stuff #madefromgirders ”
“Someone gave Obama DIET irn bru! That’s not what he came here for lads. The big guy needs full fat.”
“@JamieRoss7 @thecommongreen Is that diet? Somebody wants to make sure he never comes back.”
“Obama has been given Diet Irn Bru. This is a major snub. If he were still President he would be justified in launching a nuclear war”
“@JamieRoss7 wait wait wait…is that sugar free? Arrest that man.”
“@JamieRoss7 @MhairiHunter Diet Irn Bru? Who did it, i demand their immediate arrest!?”
Now who knew that the Scots hated diet soda with such a passion??? At any rate, it is said that just a few minutes later, Obama was spotted drinking a bottle of Lipton tea, so I will leave you to draw your own conclusions.
And I just had to throw in and old ad for Irn Bru I discovered along my travels:
Let us wrap up this Monday morn with a few Irish jokes, shall we?
- Paddy and Seamus were walking home from the pub. Paddy says to Seamus, ‘What a beautiful night, look at the moon.’Seamus stops and looks at Paddy, ‘You are wrong, that’s not the moon, that’s the sun.’ Both started arguing for a while when they come upon a real drunk walking in the other direction, so they stopped him.
‘Sir, could you please help settle our argument?
Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that’s shining. Is it the moon or the sun?’ The drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them, and said,
‘Sorry, I don’t live around here.’
- A pregnant Irish woman from Dublin gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.The doctor replies, ‘Ma’ am you had twins! a boy and a girl. Your brother from Cork came in and named them.’
The woman thinks to herself, ‘Oh No, not my brother… he’s an idiot!’ She asks the doctor, ‘Well, what’s the girl’s name?’ Denise.’
‘Wow, that’s not a bad name, I like it! What’s the boy’s name?’
- A man flops down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie is stained, his face is smeared with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin is sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opens a newspaper and begins reading.After a few minutes the guy turns to the priest and asks, ‘Say, Father, what causes arthritis?’ Loose living; cheap, wicked woman; too much alcohol; and contempt for your fellow man,’ ‘answers the priest. ‘I’ll be damned,’ the drunk mutters, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he said, nudges the man and apologises. ‘ I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to be so harsh. How long have you had arthritis?’
‘Oh, I don’t have it, Father. But it says here that the Pope does.’
And so, my friends, it is time to … OH WAIT!!! Today is Memorial Day in the U.S., so my local friends will NOT have to put on ties and death trap high heels to go to work today! However, sadly my dear readers on the other side of the pond … you DO have to go to work today. Whether you are preparing a family cookout or going to work today, I hope your day at least started out with a smile. Whatever you do, keep safe and remember to share that smile … hugs and love to you all!