Welcome to Saturday’s Surprise! Since yesterday was that infamous Black Friday, the day where people lose all semblance of sanity in the U.S., I thought it was fair game for a humorous post. Now, as most of you already know, I do not observe Black Friday in the way most do, for I am not much of a shopper under the best of circumstances, and definitely do not think shopping should result in life-threatening bruises and broken bones! My Friday-after-Thanksgivings are spent safely ensconced in my home, curled up with a book or my laptop, sipping coffee, and munching on leftovers. I have friends, however, who arise at 1 or 2 a.m. to go stand shivering in a long line, waiting for the doors of a store to open, then make a mad dash amidst a throng of hundreds for that much coveted piece of electronic wizardry or article of ‘must-have’ clothing, then stand in yet another line of hundreds, already having been punched, shoved, and possibly even knifed, to pay fifty cents less for the item than they would have paid the day before. Insanity, I tell you!
That said, I thought there must be some funny stories about forays into the Black Friday jungle, and I was right … and so, today I share those with you. Some will make you laugh, others will have you shaking your heads, wondering if the world has gone mad! Some of these stories are from the poor retail workers whose jobs it is to serve the public, others from shoppers. I have not changed them, except to shorten them in some cases:
“I worked for six yrs at a Johnny rockets(sic) in a mall as a server and management. We didn’t open early like the rest of the stores because we are a restaurant and well, we don’t serve breakfast.
Had people shake our gates screaming that they wanted food. [It] would be just me and a opener getting the chairs set out.
I pointed them towards the food court and told them we didn’t serve breakfast. A lady spit at me and told.me “I know you have bacon”
“Someone punched a security guard in the face because he thought he was a customer skipping to the front of the line..he was just walking in the door to start his shift. So yeah, my town has those kind of people in it.”
“An 80-year-old grandma tackled and then bear-maced a woman over fleece fabric at my store. The old lady wanted a cancer pink-ribbon fabric, and the woman she ultimately tackled had called ahead and ordered a bulk amount of it, because she works for a cancer organization and makes blankets for cancer patients.”
“Back in my poor college days when I worked at walmart we had a fight break out over a bike. Fists were thrown and there was some blood. Eventually one guy got ahold of it and managed to get away from the crowd, he rode the bike out of the store to flee his pursuers (without paying).”
“I think the craziest thing I ever did was camp out with my Texas relatives for the entire night before Thanksgiving. I don’t really ‘do’ Black Friday, but they do, so I decided I would try it. We brought a tent and a camp stove and set up in a Best Buy parking lot. And it was awesome! We made so many friends, some of whom I am still Facebook friends with today. I wouldn’t do it every year, but what I found was the event wasn’t so much about consumerism as it was togetherness. Also, nachos made on a camp stove in the Best Buy parking lot are the best.”
“I was at the mall with my sister, and we were packing up our car when a frazzled couple with a TON of bags came up to us. They said they would give us $20 if we drove their stuff home for them because their car was full. We agreed but realized on the way to their house we totally could have driven off with it — they didn’t ask our name or anything!”
“I met my now husband on Black Friday! I saw him across the aisle at an electronics store and asked him for his thoughts on whether I should get x or y TV. He gave me some pointers and then gave me his phone number ‘in case I had any more questions.’ I texted him to thank him, and that was history!”
“One year I went to a local book and gift store and spent $78 on a bunch of stocking stuffers. Then I got a call from my bank. The cashier accidentally charged me $7,800 and my account was super overdrawn!”
“And there was this 11ish year old kid with a woman in her 60s. He was waiting for his 360 bundle. Woman before him had “gotten the last one,” sighs all around. Then he says “nope one more” and begins the motion of handing it to the kid and this guy comes out of no where and pushed the older woman and the kid. The kid hit his face on the edge of a video game rack, you know the one with the metal and plastic dividers.”
And in news about the country from yesterday, the following Black Friday headlines:
- 1 shot at Missouri mall – One person was shot outside a Missouri college town mall on Thursday night, when stores opened for early Black Friday deals. An unidentified 19-year-old suffered life-threatening injuries in the parking lot shooting at the Columbia Mall.
- Brawl shuts down Alabama mall – Police and firefighters responded to the Riverchase Galleria after 11 p.m. Thanksgiving after at least one fight on the second floor; a video shows two girls fighting. A shoe was thrown during the melee, hitting a baby in the head.
- Skipping the lines? – Some people have attempted to skip the lines at Walmart and Best Buy by wearing employee vests, either obtained from past employment or through social media users selling them online. Wal-Mart vests were being sold on one website for $100 each!
And so concludes another Saturday Surprise! I hope you are all still safe and of sound mind if you participated in the Black Friday madness. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, stay warm and keep safe! Love ‘n hugs …
And to set the tone for the day, a favourite of mine …