♫ ♪ I got my hush puppies on, I guess I never was meant for …
OH … HI! Sorry … I was a little caught up in my Monday song …
Good Slippery Monday Morn, my friends! I don’t know what the weather is doing where you are, but here we are in the throes of an ice storm. Daughter Chris went into work at 11:00 last night, as she had to be at work by 6:30 this morning, and the predictions were for treacherous ice covering all the highways. Needless to say, Miss Goose and I will be staying indoors today. I hope it is nicer wherever you are!
For most of you, this is your first Monday at work in this new year of 2018. Thus far, I am not impressed with 2018 and hope the first week was not a harbinger of things to come, else I am going to do a Rip Van Winkle and you can wake me in 2019! Eight short days into the new year and I am already tired of the drama and stress. But, let us put all that aside and start our work week out with a laugh, chuckle, or at least a wry grin, okay? Pull up a chair, grab a cuppa, and lets spend a bit of time together this morning.
In remembrance of …
Those of us who are of a certain age and have adult children would be well-advised to be nice to our children, for they are the ones who will be left to write our obituaries. For one Texas man, Leslie Ray Charping, this warning comes too late. This is the obituary that was published when poor ol’ Ray died last year …
Leslie Ray “Popeye” Charping was born in Galveston, Texas on November 20, 1942 and passed away January 30, 2017, which was 29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved. Leslie battled with cancer in his latter years and lost his battle, ultimately du
e to being the horses ass he was known for. He leaves behind 2 relieved children; a son Leslie Roy Charping and daughter, Shiela Smith along with six grandchildren and countless other victims including an ex wife, relatives, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses and random strangers.
At a young age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive. Leslie enlisted to serve in the Navy, but not so much in a brave & patriotic way but more as part of a plea deal to escape sentencing on criminal charges. While enlisted, Leslie was the Navy boxing champion and went on to sufficiently embarrass his family and country by spending the remainder of his service in the Balboa Mental Health Hospital receiving much needed mental healthcare services.
Leslie was surprisingly intelligent, however he lacked ambition and motivation to do anything more than being reckless, wasteful, squandering the family savings and fantasizing about get rich quick schemes. Leslie’s hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing, which he was less skilled with than the previously mentioned. Leslie’s life served no other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick whited sarcasm which was amusing during his sober days.
With Leslie’s passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend. No services will be held, there will be no prayers for eternal peace and no apologizes to the family he tortured. Leslie’s remains will be cremated and kept in the barn until “Ray”, the family donkey’s wood shavings run out. Leslie’s passing proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all.
Like I said … be nice to your kids …
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Actually, why did a bunch of chickens cross the highway? Some 19 chickens managed to shut down a California freeway after their cage fell from a truck, and they escaped. FREE AT LAST … they ran amok and it took the California Highway Patrol (CHiP) about two hours to round them all up …
“We took these guys into custody without any trouble. They were too chicken to fight,” the CHP tweeted with photos of the rescued chickens.
Some of the comments on the tweet were eyeroll-worthy:
Yeah, the response has been overwhelming. We had to fly the coop.- CHP Santa Fe Springs
They ran a-fowl of the law!
But why did they cross the road ??
Are these Freeway Range?
It all spends the same …
A man in Putian City, Fujian Province, China wanted to buy a car … he had been saving for quite some time. So, he walks into a BMW dealership and chooses a used car for $11,000. And then, when it was time to pay, the man hauled in 10 very large boxes filled with … you got it … COINS!!!!
Now, here in the U.S., I am fairly certain the man would have been told to take his coins to the bank and come back when he could pay with paper or plastic. In the U.S., ‘customer service’ is rarely customer-centric. But the dealership in China closed shop for the day and every employee was rounded up to help count and roll coins!
What follows is the conversation between a Brown County, Texas, sheriff’s deputy and a man pulled over for a minor traffic violation who had … well, see for yourself …
Driver: funny story actually.. I spent the day in Waco and had some hot dogs for lunch. I set one on the rear bumper and somehow forgot about it and continued running errands around Waco. It wasn’t until several people asked about the hot dog, at several different locations, that I realized I had left it on there, so I put a little note on the bumper.
Deputy: is the hot dog glued on there or what?
Driver: What?! You mean it’s still there? That’s insane!
Deputy: yes sir, still there! (I’m laughing hard at this point)
Driver: (loses it) I DROVE ALL OVER WACO AND BACK TO BROWNWOOD AND THAT HOT DOG IS STILL THERE!
Deputy: Apparently so! Do you mind if I take a picture?
Driver: Go right ahead!
Deputy: Sir, it is apparent that you are a cautious driver, so you’re only gonna receive a verbal warning for your violation… and thank you, this made my day.
Driver: maybe I should drive around with a hot dog on my bumper all the time, so I don’t get any tickets!
And finally, this week’s “Cutest Animals’ video, submitted by the Russian Ministry of Defense …
And now, if I did not make you laugh, I know that cute puppy video at least warmed your heart a bit and made you smile, yes? So, you already know what I’m going to ask you to do, right? That’s right … go out and share those smiles. I can tell you that a smile from somebody would lift my heart right about now, so if you want to send me one, I’ll take it! But seriously, folks, there is an awful lot of sadness in the world today, and you never know when just a smile or a kind word might lift someone’s spirits. Have a great week, keep warm and safe, and remember that Filosofa loves you!