Monday … Bring it on!!!

♫  ♪  I got my hush puppies on, I guess I never was meant for …

OH … HI! Sorry … I was a little caught up in my Monday song …

Good Slippery Monday Morn, my friends!  I don’t know what the weather is doing where you are, but here we are in the throes of an ice storm.  Daughter Chris went into work at 11:00 last night, as she had to be at work by 6:30 this morning, and the predictions were for treacherous ice covering all the highways.  Needless to say, Miss Goose and I will be staying indoors today.  I hope it is nicer wherever you are!

For most of you, this is your first Monday at work in this new year of 2018.  Thus far, I am not impressed with 2018 and hope the first week was not a harbinger of things to come, else I am going to do a Rip Van Winkle and you can wake me in 2019!  Eight short days into the new year and I am already tired of the drama and stress.  But, let us put all that aside and start our work week out with a laugh, chuckle, or at least a wry grin, okay?  Pull up a chair, grab a cuppa, and lets spend a bit of time together this morning.


In remembrance of …

Those of us who are of a certain age and have adult children would be well-advised to be nice to our children, for they are the ones who will be left to write our obituaries.  For one Texas man, Leslie Ray Charping, this warning comes too late.  This is the obituary that was published when poor ol’ Ray died last year …

Leslie Ray “Popeye” Charping was born in Galveston, Texas on November 20, 1942 and passed away January 30, 2017, which was 29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved.  Leslie battled with cancer in his latter years and lost his battle, ultimately du

Charping

e to being the horses ass he was known for.  He leaves behind 2 relieved children; a son Leslie Roy Charping and daughter, Shiela Smith along with six grandchildren and countless other victims including an ex wife, relatives, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses and random strangers. 

 At a young age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive.  Leslie enlisted to serve in the Navy, but not so much in a brave & patriotic way but more as part of a plea deal to escape sentencing on criminal charges.  While enlisted, Leslie was the Navy boxing champion and went on to sufficiently embarrass his family and country by spending the remainder of his service in the Balboa Mental Health Hospital receiving much needed mental healthcare services.

 Leslie was surprisingly intelligent, however he lacked ambition and motivation to do anything more than being reckless, wasteful, squandering the family savings and fantasizing about get rich quick schemes.  Leslie’s hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing, which he was less skilled with than the previously mentioned.  Leslie’s life served no other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick whited sarcasm which was amusing during his sober days.

With Leslie’s passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend.  No services will be held, there will be no prayers for eternal peace and no apologizes to the family he tortured.  Leslie’s remains will be cremated and kept in the barn until “Ray”, the family donkey’s wood shavings run out.  Leslie’s passing proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all.

Like I said … be nice to your kids …


Why did the chicken cross the road?

Actually, why did a bunch of chickens cross the highway?  Some 19 chickens managed to shut down a California freeway after their cage fell from a truck, and they escaped.  FREE AT LAST … they ran amok and it took the California Highway Patrol (CHiP) about two hours to round them all up …

“We took these guys into custody without any trouble. They were too chicken to fight,” the CHP tweeted with photos of the rescued chickens.

Some of the comments on the tweet were eyeroll-worthy:

Yeah, the response has been overwhelming.  We had to fly the coop.- CHP Santa Fe Springs

They ran a-fowl of the law!

But why did they cross the road ??

Are these Freeway Range?


It all spends the same …

A man in Putian City, Fujian Province, China wanted to buy a car … he had been saving for quite some time.  So, he walks into a BMW dealership and chooses a used car for $11,000.  And then, when it was time to pay, the man hauled in 10 very large boxes filled with … you got it … COINS!!!!

coinsNow, here in the U.S., I am fairly certain the man would have been told to take his coins to the bank and come back when he could pay with paper or plastic.  In the U.S., ‘customer service’ is rarely customer-centric.  But the dealership in China closed shop for the day and every employee was rounded up to help count and roll coins!

coins-2


Tailgating?

What follows is the conversation between a Brown County, Texas, sheriff’s deputy and a man pulled over for a minor traffic violation who had … well, see for yourself …

hot-dogDriver: funny story actually.. I spent the day in Waco and had some hot dogs for lunch. I set one on the rear bumper and somehow forgot about it and continued running errands around Waco. It wasn’t until several people asked about the hot dog, at several different locations, that I realized I had left it on there, so I put a little note on the bumper.

Deputy: is the hot dog glued on there or what?

Driver: What?! You mean it’s still there? That’s insane!

Deputy: yes sir, still there! (I’m laughing hard at this point)

Driver: (loses it) I DROVE ALL OVER WACO AND BACK TO BROWNWOOD AND THAT HOT DOG IS STILL THERE!

Deputy: Apparently so! Do you mind if I take a picture?

Driver: Go right ahead!

Deputy: Sir, it is apparent that you are a cautious driver, so you’re only gonna receive a verbal warning for your violation… and thank you, this made my day.

Driver: maybe I should drive around with a hot dog on my bumper all the time, so I don’t get any tickets!


And finally, this week’s “Cutest Animals’ video, submitted by the Russian Ministry of Defense …

And now, if I did not make you laugh, I know that cute puppy video at least warmed your heart a bit and made you smile, yes?  So, you already know what I’m going to ask you to do, right?  That’s right … go out and share those smiles.  I can tell you that a smile from somebody would lift my heart right about now, so if you want to send me one, I’ll take it!  But seriously, folks, there is an awful lot of sadness in the world today, and you never know when just a smile or a kind word might lift someone’s spirits.  Have a great week, keep warm and safe, and remember that Filosofa loves you!

oon-Maxinetoon-1toon-2toon-3toon-4toon-spring

26 thoughts on “Monday … Bring it on!!!

  1. Y’see there’s the sort of obituary that may well await Ol’ Lumpy at the Whitehouse.
    And yeh a lot us walk paths of mental illness, and part of illness is cure or coping, AND, not using it as an excuse. You fight your demons you don’t invite them around for a drink.
    Love those chickens!
    Best wishes Jill

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Jill,
    What an obituary! He had to be in a class all to himself. I wonder how President Trump’s passing will be handled. Will he come back from the grave if enough people don’t attend.

    I have gone around with a food or beverage on my car roof while peoples who are passing by, roll down their windows where they frenziedly keep pointing at the car, and then the though hits, OOPS!

    I love the puppies, the chickens crossing the road and the cartoons! I am so grateful for whenever I do get great customer service as this is a rare event.

    Thanks for another Monday start and for time spent with Jimmy Buffet.

    Hugs, Gronda

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Gronda! Yes, I think he must have been one ornery person. I think I will write my own obituary soon, so that nobody can write one like that! I think I will keep it short and simple: She lived, she died … the end.

      Yes, I have done the same, and I remember one time that I left a Starbucks on my car, backed out of the parking space, and then drove on wondering why here was coffee running down my windshield! 😀

      And I am fed up with “customer service”. I have been known to say, “Excuse me, I’m only a customer”. So frustrating.

      Have a great week, my friend! Hugs!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I love the cartoon with the garden hose! 😉 And yes, first real Monday of the year … back to the routine. It has gotten colder here too, but when I say “colder” I mean 0 Celsius, which I am sure will prompt a laugh with you! But that is the Dutch seaside for you. And we are actually having some sun today! 🙂 Good luck with your icy weather, I hope it will improve soon! Hugs and warmth!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks! Yes, Maxine is always good for some laughs! I consider her a soul-sister 😉
      Everything is covered in ice, but interestingly it is warmer by far than it has been for the past week. I am safely indoors where I plan o say … maybe until May!!! 😀

      Like

    • Jill, happy Monday. Two comments. Thanks for the Parrot Head earworm. I love Jimmy Buffett.

      As for Popeye, as the the cartoon character would say, “I ams what I ams.” Apparently, this one was not a very pleasant man. I don’t think I have ever seen such a negative obituary. I did once come across a woman leaving a funeral at a cemetery as my cousin and I were preparing for our grandmother’s funeral. She said to us, “I don’t know why they are praying over that man as he is going straight to hell.”

      On that note, I think I will listen to some Buffett and call my children. Have a great week. Keith

      Liked by 2 people

      • Glad you liked the earworm! I thought of you as I planted it 😀 And I love the comment by the woman leaving the funeral. I find it humorous that someone who wasn’t well-liked in life, suddenly becomes “a wonderful person” once dead. Hypocrisy? Yes, and yet still I can understand the reluctance to ‘speak ill of the dead’. The older I get, though, the more I become like that woman you mentioned. I figure, as one of my Brit friends says, call a spade a bloody shovel! 😀 Have a great week, my friend … listen to some Buffett!

        Like

    • If he was truly suffering a mental illness, then perhaps you are right. It sounded more to me like he was just a mean s.o.b. But who knows?

      And yes, puppies can ALWAYS warm my heart! In fact, most any cute animals make me smile and say, “Awwwwww” 😉 I may be the queen of snarky, but I still have a soft squishy heart.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I hope I didn’t come across as criticizing you because I wasn’t. That guy may well have been a mean son of a bitch and also mentally ill. It often feels as if the American stigma against mental illness is so institutional that most of us can’t see it. The debate over whether it’s ‘impolite’ to question Trump’s mental health is another example. If Trump had a heart attack would we think it impolite to discuss the implications for National Security and its impact on his ability to conduct Nation’s business?

        Liked by 1 person

        • No no no, my friend … I did not take it personally. But admittedly it did make me stop and think, which is always a good thing. I found humour and perhaps a poetic justice in the obituary, thinking of the man as simply a jerk. But with your comment, I paused, for I make a serious effort never to mock mental illness. I had a ‘significant other’ for a time who was suicidal, and also have another good friend who goes through major bouts of depression, so I do not take it lightly. And I wondered, after reading your comment, if there was more going on with this man than anybody knew.

          As for Trump … I find it amazing that his advisors, cabinet members and Congress have not seriously called his mental health into question. I think all those shiny things dangling in front of their eyes have blinded them to the very real possibility that he will someday make a snap decision that will lead us into disaster. Human nature, human greed, is like that … it can blind us to the reality in front of our very noses. Sigh.

          Hugs, Rob!

          Like

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