An All-New Jolly Monday!!!

Good Monday morning, friends, and welcome to Filosofa’s Jolly Monday!  For those new friends who have only recently stumbled upon Filosofa’s Word, let me explain.  All week long I write ‘down & dirty’, mostly political.  One day a friend, who happens to no longer be a friend, asked if I could devote just one post a week to humour and leave politics out.  I tried it, and it is now my second most popular weekly feature.  A while back, I started  serving refreshments with my humour, so feel free to grab a cupa Joe, a donut, and enjoy a few chuckles, laughs and lots of smiles.  By the way … hugs are always welcome!

So, did everyone have a good weekend?  Did anybody – besides Eschudel – actually see the sun this weekend?  I am convinced that the sun has been kidnapped and is being held for randsom, for I have seen it precisely 4 times all year so far!  And now, grab your coffee, pull up a chair, and let us spend a few minutes together before you have to leave for … w-o-r-k.

Text dividersBeware the comma …

Those pesky commas!  I tend to overuse the comma, as a college professor told me many decades ago, and my editor shakes his head over my comma usage quite often.  But in this story, it was a missing comma that led to a $6 million class-action lawsuit.

The defendant was Oakhurst Dairy in Portlant, Maine, and the plaintiffs were 127 of the company’s drivers who claimed that a written statute about overtime was unclear.

The offending document included this phrase …

“…marketing, storing, packing for shipment or distribution of”

And without the comma before the word “or”, drivers claimed that it meant something other than management intended.  I can see where the comma, known as an Oxford comma, would have changed the meaning slightly, but I’m not sure to the tune of $5 million!

The drivers claimed that the packing and distribution were a single act, and since they didn’t actually do any packing, they shouldn’t have been exempt from overtime pay.  Judge David Barron wrote at the beginning of his 29-page ruling: “For want of a comma, we have this case.”  Twenty-nine pages???  Seriously???  The company agreed to pay the $5 million, not wishing to incur further legal costs or waste additional time. Text dividersNew breed of golf caddies?

golferMy dad always wanted a son.  Instead he got me.  I’m sure he was disappointed at first, but he learned to love me despite my shortcomings, and went merrily about the business of trying to teach me to do all the things a son would have done with him, such as playing golf.  Now, frankly I hate golf, and being visually challenged even as a child, I was never much good at it.  I would swing 30-40 times at that tiny little ball, trying to earn an ‘attaboy’, until the line of golfers began to back up and grumble loudly, then we moved along without me hitting the ball.  Anyway, that was in the 1950s when golfers walked the 9 or 18 holes, and when young boys were thrilled to earn a dollar or two being a ‘caddy’, carrying the golfers clubs, handing them the proper club, and advising them.

Nowadays, since almost nobody walks around the course anymore, but they all ride in those little golf carts, presumably there isn’t as much need for a caddy, and young boys who were born with iphones in their diapers do not value a dollar or two as they once did.

The Retreat & Links at Silvies Valley Ranch in Seneca, Oregon, has a new and unique solution to provide caddies to those golfers who wish one … GOATS!

goat caddy“We’ve been developing an unprecedented caddie training program with our head caddie, Bruce LeGoat, to ensure that he and his team are ready for the opening of The Gauntlet this summer. We’re truly redefining both goat and golf operations at the ranch. Can you think of another course where its caddies were literally born, raised and fully educated on-property? We will get you a caddie who really knows the course and won’t give you any bad advice — and they work for peanuts!”Text dividers

How many eggs is too many?

We go through a lot of eggs in my house, ever since Miss Goose learned to boil her own and to make potatoe salad and cookies.  I buy 18 eggs most every week.  But the chefs traveling with the Norwegian Olympic team were in for a bit surprise when they ordered 1,500 eggs to feed the hungry athletes, but due to an error in translation, they actually received 15,000 eggs!  There’s that pesky comma again!

eggsApparently, changing one syllable in “1,500” in Korean changes it to 15,000!  Who knew?  Fortunately, the chefs were able to return the additional 13,500 eggs, else the Norwegian athletes might have started growing feathers before long.Text dividersThey pulled over a what???

Police are trained to be alert for unsafe driver behaviour, and erratic vehicle movement is usually a clear sign that something is not right.  Typically, officers pull over vehicles that are on the ground, but last Tuesday, the Yucaipa Police Department in San Bernardino Country, California, pulled over a couple of … wait for it …

hot air balloons … yep, you guessed it … hot air balloons!  The Sheriff’s department had been receiving calls about hot air balloons flying too close to the homes, and one report of a balloon colliding with a home.  Deputies responded to the Chapman Heights neighborhood, where they observed the two hot air balloons hitting trees and coming within 5 feet of rooftops.

The deputies were able to contact both pilots, presumably by loudspeaker, since they weren’t very high anyway, and request that they land immediately, which they did.  Both pilots landed safely and there didn’t weem to be an issue of FUI (Flying Under the Influence).

balloons“Deputies identified both pilots, and will be forwarding a report to the Federal Aviation Administration for further review of any possible FAA violations.”Text dividersI haven’t done any jokes for a while, so I went in search of something funny, a few good ‘knock-knock’ jokes, since those are my favourites, or something clean, yet funny.  I didn’t find anything that made me laugh, but I did come across some of what I call “dumb customer” stories, so I thought I’d share a few of those for your morning chuckles!

dumb-customer-1dumb-customer-2dumb-customer-3Text dividers
And now, my friends, it saddens me to say this, but you must leave.  You have jobs, careers, you are contributing members of society!  Well, except those of us who are retired, but even we have things to do.  For me?  Probably laundry and grocery shopping, as I got lazy yesterday and didn’t go.  Keep safe and warm out there, my dear friends, and have a great week.  As always, remember that I ask you to share those gorgeous smiles with somebody who might need one today.  It makes a world of difference in somebody’s day sometimes, and makes you feel happier too!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa!

Note to readers:  This morning is my scheduled eye surgery, and I am not sure how much of my day that will take up, so please forgive me if I am slower even than usual responding to comments, but I will respond as soon as I can!

toon-Maxine

toon-mario-sonic

 

36 thoughts on “An All-New Jolly Monday!!!

  1. Glad your eye surgery went well… As for commas, yes, I overuse them, along with eclipses and, ‘…’s, and dashes, and, …. (Well, you get the picture!). I am punctuation mad!
    And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid… Predictive text!😋

    Talking of stupid stuff… Your restaurant examples are priceless! 😄😄😄

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am the same! The ellipses … my favouritr way of identifying my ‘sub-thoughts’ … and apostrophes … the rules have changed since I was in school. “Its'” was once how you said ‘the thing belonging to it’. But now, ‘its” is out and according to my friend who serves as my editor, it is strictly illegal and I could possibly go to jail for it!

      Glad you liked the restaurant examples … people can be such idiots, but then I’ve probably done some stupid things too.

      Like

  2. Dear Jill,
    Best wishes for you today and thanks for the smiles.

    Remember that old adage that went the way of dinosaurs, “the customer is always right.”

    I have golfed in my business days but I always felt out of my depth. If there was a golf course with goat caddies in Florida, I would re-adjust my attitude.

    Still today, I have to think awhile about whether or not to use the comma.

    Hugs, Gronda

    Liked by 1 person

    • Many thanks, Gronda. It went fine, though I won’t know how much vision is estored, if any, for at least a few days. Tonight i am struggling to get used to wearing a patch.

      Yes, I might consider an occasional round of golf if I could have a goat caddy!

      Commas and apostrophes are both my nemeses. I always figure, if in doubt, go ahead and toss one or the other in. 😄

      Hugs, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. In Canada, even if I was still employed? Today is a stat. Statutory holiday. … “Family Day”? Or something? Commas? Yup I use them too much also. The company knew they were wrong! That’s why they paid. Olympics like Christmas. I do not follow, or do. They are a giant public rip-off. If the IOC wants the games? Let them pay for them. Had goats in 1980’s would walk them up on the R of W, for power lines, on back forty. Could never keep them in one place. Nibble, move, nibble move. Their pattern. Cheers Jamie

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Delightful, as always!! It brought back memories as well since I caddied as a young boy and made enough to buy a second-hand bicycle. After that I never wanted to play golf, however, because I could see how people got all tied up in knots over their mistakes. Then I retired and was no longer able to play tennis. So golf it is, and I do enjoy it — and try not to get tied up in knots!! (And many thanks for Maxine. I can never get enough of her!!!) Take care, my friend.😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • And I can just picture you as a young caddy … and now as a golfer. My dad used to take it so seriously, and he would get madder with each of my fruitless swings. I came to absolutely hate Sundays! It always amazes me how wrapped up grown men can get in beating a little tiny ball. 😀 Yep, I always try to remember to go in search of a funny Maxine … sometimes she reminds me much of myself these days 😉 Have a great week, my friend.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Big mistake: trying to teach a loved one a sport. I learned my lesson!! Any attempt at correction is taken as personal criticism. Not a good thing at all. (I hope your eye surgery went well, by the way. I do miss your comments on my posts.)

        Liked by 1 person

        • You are quite right, and it is also a huge mistake trying to teach a loved one to drive!!! I still have nightmares over that one, and I’m not quite sure my daughter has ever forgiven me!

          Well, they say the surgery went well, but I am left even more blind than I was, so I suppose that remains to be “seen”. (pun intended). 🙂 I do always try to read your posts and Keith’s, but admittedly have missed a few lately. I’ll get back on track … soon, I hope!

          Like

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