The Puppeteer

Disclaimer:  The story you are about to read is fiction, a product of the bouncing mind of Filosofa, and to the best of my knowledge, none of the following conversations took place, though similar ones may or may not have.

The exact date is unimportant, but it was sometime around mid-2014, when Russian President Vladimir Putin was enjoying a nice supper with two of his closest advisors.  They were discussing Barack Obama and the United States, supposedly an ally, but not acting very much like one, in Putin’s view. seperatorFRANCE-RUSSIA-US-POLITICS-DIPLOMACYPutin:  America’s interference in Iraq and Libya have led to regime changes that give our people ideas.  I do not like it!  The United States needs to stay on its own side of the globe and President Obama needs to tend to his business at home and stop meddling in our business.  Imposing sanctions for what he considers to be human rights violations!  Pah! Я бы удар его задницу!!!

Advisor #1:  Well, Obama has only two more years, and then there will be a new president.  I hear that clown that has some television show in America where he goes around firing people and screaming “You’re fired!!!” is thinking about entering the race.

Putin:  Really?  You mean that … oh, what is his name … Chump?

Advisor #2:  I believe it is Trump … Donald Trump.

Putin:  Oh yes, that’s it!  Both of you, work on a dossier … I want to know everything there is to know about this man, his businesses, his family, his connections, even down to what brand of toilet tissue he buys!  I’m getting a seed of an idea …  Have that dossier on my desk no later than Monday morning!seperatorThe following Monday, Putin meets again with his advisors after reading the information they provided earlier that day.

advisorsPutin: Excellent information!  I just got off the phone with Sergey Kislyak, and he is going to schedule a meeting with this Donald Chump later this week.  From what I have read in your reports, the man is not only an egomaniac, but not a very bright one!  He spends more time in bankruptcy court than he does managing his businesses, he has had as many failures as successes.  He is also a liar and a cheat, according to everyone who has ever done business with him, including his own ex-wife!  Perfect … absolutely perfect for what I have in mind!

Advisor #2: And what exactly is it that you have in mind, sir?  The man, after all, is a bumbling fool whose own ego matters more to him than anything else.

Putin:  Exactly!!!  He is as pliable as clay, and his ego is his Achilles heel.  My plan, you ask?  My plan is to make certain that Donald Trump becomes the next president of the United States!

Advisor #1:  Brilliant, Mr. President!

Advisor #2:  Brilliant, Mr. President!

Putin:  By dangling shiny objects in front of him and at the same time, stroking his massive ego, he will become our puppet.  Those sanctions that Obama has imposed will disappear, and Mr. Trump will do our bidding!

Advisor #2:  But Mr. President, if you don’t mind my asking, how do you plan to ensure this Mr. Trump is elected?  American elections are very democratic.

Putin:  The details I will leave to the two of you.  You may utilize any staff and any other resources you may need, but it is your job for the next two years to ensure that the election in November 2016 goes to the fool with the bad hair.  Once you have carried out your mission, I will be able to control the puppet we have placed in the White House in Washington D.C.

putin puppeteerseperatorIt is now 02 March 2016.  A lot has happened in the nine months since Trump announced his candidacy, and Putin is once again having a nice dinner at the famed Mari Vanna restaurant with his two advisors.

Putin:  Tonight, we celebrate, yes?  Our Chump has taken the bait and I don’t know how you’ve done it, but the fool just won 7 of the 11 states that vote on Super Tuesday!  You will see a little something extra in your pay stockings this week!

Advisor #1:  Thank you, Mr. President.  It hasn’t been easy, for Trump seems to wish to bring about his own downfall on a near-daily basis!  He offends literally everyone with his crassness and disrespect for all.

Advisor #2:  We have paid agitators at all his rallies, and that has helped, for once they start chanting “Lock her up!”, he re-focuses on his diatribe against Ms. Clinton and we are able to bring him back on track.

Putin:  You’ve done well, but the hardest part is still ahead of us, and that is getting enough votes.  How is the advertising campaign coming?

Advisor #1:  We have set up accounts all over social media, and it is successful beyond our wildest imaginings!  People are actually believing nearly everything we tell them!  I never knew how pliable, how gullible, the American people are!

Putin:  Well you must understand this … they are greedy to a fault.  If you tell them that they are so underpaid, that they deserve so much better, and that Trump is the answer, that he will make them wealthy, they will believe it because they want to believe it.  They want it to be so.  And the hacking of the voting machines?

Advisor #2:  That is not coming quite as well, sir.  The security is excellent, and of the 21 states whose machines we have attempted to breach, only two have been minimally successful, Illinois and Arizona.  We have our best cyber-techs on it, and have even hired assistance from, believe it or not, Silicon Valley!  As well, of course, as the Swiss.

Putin:  Okay, it is clear that we will not have as much impact as we would like in that area, but don’t give up!  We must focus, then, on making sure the people are convinced that Ms. Clinton, whom is actually quite nice, but far too smart, is seen as a criminal with much to hide, and that Mr. Chump, er, Trump, is seen as the one who will make all their dreams come true.  Have you been successful in making contact within the Trump camp?

Assistant #1:  Yes sir, that has been quite successful, and we are told that Trump’s grown children play a major part in his campaign, and even better, that they are no more intelligent than Trump himself, so we are hoping to soon be able to make direct contact with one or possibly two of them.

Putin:  And you have been acquiring the information to use as blackmail if needs be, yes?

Assistant #2:  Of course, sir.  Once elected, he will do our bidding in the areas that concern us, as we will have him ‘by the short hairs’, as they say in the U.S.  In other areas, we will leave him to his own devices.

Putin:  Perfect!  I am well pleased by your work and I think we will be celebrating on the ninth of November!

seperatorRussia's President Putin holds a glass during a ceremony of receiving diplomatic credentials from foreign ambassadors at the Kremlin in MoscowThere were many more meetings over the course of the next nine months, but let us fast forward to November 9th, at 9:00 a.m. Moscow time, 1:00 a.m. in Washington D.C.  Putin and his advisors are once again meeting, and when the advisors arrive, Putin has a huge bottle of champagne waiting.

Putin:  Well, gentlemen, we did it!  We have pulled off the biggest heist in the history of mankind!  We literally stole an election!  There is still much work to be done, however you both must take a vacation for two weeks and recharge, for we now embark on the next phase.

Advisor #1:  {groans}  Yes sir, thank you very much President Putin.

Advisor #2:  {groans}  And what, sir, is the next phase, if I am permitted to ask?

Putin:  Chaos.  We must create so much chaos within the two parties and among the people, in the halls of Congress, that they cannot agree with each other on virtually anything!

Advisor #2:  And might I ask the goal of this chaos campaign?

Putin:  To keep the people of the United States from coming together, discussing ideas, and perhaps figuring out that Donald Trump is a crass fool who cannot fulfill his promises to them, and had no intention of doing so anyway.  It wouldn’t be hard to figure out if they simply stopped screaming at each other and talked, so we must keep the chaos at a high level, keep them biting and snarling at each other, and give the Chump free reign, for he will inadvertently play along with our plan!  {sips champagne}  And now, gentlemen, I must make some calls, if you will excuse me?  Enjoy your vacations!

happy putinseperator

Sleep well tonight, my friends.

18 thoughts on “The Puppeteer

    • Well at least I FINALLY got his attention! I post links to my most obnoxious posts on his Twitter feed weekly, but I cannot even get banned, try as I might! And more than watching my Twitter feed, I will likely need to watch my back! Come to think of it, there has been a strange vehicle parked in front of my house all day! Oh wait … that is the visiting grandparents of my neighbor. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Jill, it could have easily happened this way. Given the timing, it could be his hatred and fear of Hillary Clinton. While Republicans have built an image of Clinton over the years that exacerbates her negatives, she enjoyed a very good reputation abroad and as the first female US president would have been detrimental to Putin’s quest. Trump came along and offered the right puppet. Well done, Jill. Keith

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Keith! I almost didn’t post this after I wrote it, for I wondered if some would think it too far-fetched. But, after I thought about it, I really don’t think it’s all that far-fetched. I’d bet money that there is some truth here, at least in general, if not the specifics. What an odd world this has become all of a sudden. I find my energy is sapped, just trying to stay afloat.

      Like

  2. You know, I think I was there on those days and that’s exactly what I heard, well almost. I don’t think he called Trump a Chump, I think he called him a dump, referencing the result of a certain bodily function. To be fair, he’s not wrong.
    Cwtch

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aha! I wondered who that other person in the room was! Yes, you know I don’t hear well, so like as not he did say ‘dump’ rather than ‘chump’. They both sound alike to me. And no, he is not wrong. I was actually having fun writing this piece until I realized just how close to the truth I was likely hitting.

      xxx Cwtch xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Jill,
    This is beyond superb, excellent, outstanding, etc. You need to copyright this post. I so love this piece that I’ll be tweeting this to every US Senator and more. I’m not a great at reblogging but I’ll reblog it somehow.
    WOW!
    Hugs, Gronda

    Liked by 1 person

    • THANK YOU so very much, Gronda! I almost didn’t publish this one, for I feared some might consider it too off-the-wall, but in the end, I had worked hard on it and just figured I’d toss it out there and see what happened. Your praise brought a huge smile to my face, and made me glad i went with it! And thank you for both the re-blog and the re-tweet! I am honoured. Hugs!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Excellent. But you skipped my favorite meeting, where Putin’s Chef, Comrade Prigozhin, laughs his a** off about the proof of infiltration sign held by a U.S. person outside the White House: “Happy 55th Birthday Dear Leader”!

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  5. That would make such a nice little fake news documentary… unless, of course, there is really nothing fake about it! I remember the days when I was in drama at my alma mater senior high. This would make a really good stage presentation. Well, OK, not in the States perhaps, don’t want to get anybody shot or sent to jail, but this is Canada. It could be done here. Well done!

    Liked by 2 people

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