Most years contain 52 Mondays. That is a little over seven weeks’ worth of Mondays. Until recently, Mondays were evenly spaced, precisely seven days — 168 hours — apart. All of a sudden, someone flipped a switch and Monday seems to come after only four days. Would somebody please … note that I did say ‘please’ … put things back the way they were? I am not nearly finished with the weekend yet!!! Sigh. Well, okay, since it is Monday and since many of you are heading out for the salt mines this morning, I will try to put my smile back on and we will see what we can find to laugh about! I find that I may be in need of a ‘jolly consultant’, for my daughter informed me that the story I was planning to lead with is not ‘jolly’. I thought it was. I’ll compromise and not lead with it, but put it somewhere in the middle and you can let me know if it qualifies as ‘jolly’ or not. So, grab a cuppa Joe, something to munch on, and let’s be jolly!!!
I’ll start with a personal story … a failure in the kitchen, as it were. Now, I’m usually a pretty decent cook, though I never follow a recipe. I read recipes, but then I use the ideas, expound on them, change things in my mind, and what comes out rarely resembles the original recipe. But, most of my efforts go over well enough.
Yesterday afternoon, as some of you know from yesterday’s post, I was planning a nice brunch for the girls and I. I started with frittatas, which are nothing more than crustless quiche. I used fresh mushrooms, green peppers, bacon, scallions and White Vermont cheddar cheese, eggs & milk, of course. Those turned out fine. Then I was going to also make chocolate-chip pancakes, so I went to the pantry for some mini-chips. But as I was searching for the chips, I discovered an open bag of mini M&m’s, and … “why not?”, right? So, I dumped a handful of the brightly-coloured candies into the pancake batter … and … immediately the moisture from the batter made the candies’ hard shell dissipate, and as I stirred, it became a rainbow-coloured mucky mess.
That might not have been so bad, but of course the higher sugar content in the batter caused them to stick to the skillet. But even so, I heard no complaints, and since this was the result …
It was a routine traffic stop in Seville, Spain last week. That is, until …Yes, folks … oranges. 8,000 pounds of oranges, to be specific! Three vehicles were traveling convoy-style late at night, which was enough to pique the curiosity of the Seville patrolmen. Turns out the five people in the vehicles had robbed a warehouse in Carmona just hours before. One of the drivers actually claimed they had been traveling and stopping to pick up oranges along the way. 8,000 pounds??? Now, I don’t have a clue what these people – a couple, their adult son and two brothers — planned to do with the oranges, but the five, who were promptly arrested, will have plenty of time to think about it while they sit in jail.
Orange ya glad you don’t have to help clean up this mess? Tee hee hee … sorry, I just couldn’t resist!
Sorry I … ???
This one happened about 10 miles down the road from me. The fire department was responding to an EMS call and had brought a patient to the local hospital, when the patient became unruly, so police were called in to assist. Somehow in the struggle, Officer Darcy Workman’s taser discharged and hit, not the patient they were trying to subdue, bur firefighter Rickey Wagoner! I can only imagine his surprise! Anyway, Officer Workman felt badly and is shown here presenting a peace offering to Wagoner …I bet Mr. Wagoner thinks twice before he calls the cops for help again!
How to pull a tooth …
Remember when your kids were somewhere around 4-6 years old and they started losing their ‘baby teeth’? Most kids are pretty independent and pull them out themselves when they get wiggly enough to be annoying. But some kids prefer mom or dad to do it. The few times this task fell to me, I just used my fingers, perhaps a tissue to keep my fingers from slipping. But I’ve heard a number of innovative ideas, using a variety of tools, for getting those tiny teeth out. I’ve always thought the one where the parent ties a string to the tooth, then the other end to a doorknob and slams the door seemed like cruel and unusual punishment. Never, though, would I have considered using a Crossbow!!!
In Vietnam, a father tied his son’s tooth to the string of a crossbow, then let the boy pull the trigger, causing the string to snap forward and pull the tooth out of the son’s mouth. It worked, but seriously … was all that necessary?
And now, because I am somewhat tired tonight, and because I came across a bunch of these pictures of people’s epic, but funny failures, I am going to let the pictures regale you for a few minutes while I take a little break.
Okey Dokie, folkies … WOW … and I thought I couldn’t write poetry! Did you see that? Did you see how I made a rhyme??? Why, soon I shall be Poet Laureate of the Year, yes? Shhhhh … hush, David! Alright, friends, you’re going to be late for work if you don’t get a move on, so grab a donut to go and take yourselves to work. Leave me to my laundry and poetry writing! Have a great week, my dear friends, and keep safe. Don’t forget to share your lovely warm smiles with those who might really need one today! Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa! 💕