I promised this post last week, as a few of my friends had asked to meet the Significant Seven, the family members who walk on all fours. But for reasons best left alone, I was not able to make any headway last week. So, I promised, promised, promised it this week. Now, the funny thing is that I started to write about my band of warriors, my ragtag crew of moggies, but when they saw what I was doing, Ollie made it clear … no uncertain terms … that they would much prefer to write about themselves than to leave it to my possibly biased opinion. We sat down together, me, Ollie and Boo, and came to terms. I am allowed to introduce them, but then I am to step back and let each tell a bit about themselves. I am allowed a brief blurb at the end, but otherwise, as it is their story, they will be the tellers. (Just don’t believe everything they say, especially Tiger!)
The Gang, oldest to youngest:
Oliver (Ollie for short)
Pandora (Pandi for short)
Booker T. Washington (Boo for short)
Tiger Lily (Bitch for short)
Isabella (Izzy for short)
OrangeHi! I don’t like my name, but sometimes they call me Big O or Old Man, and I like those better. Miss Goose named me when I came here, but I don’t remember, ‘cause I was just a tiny baby. Some kids found me somewhere, and they took me to every house on the street, but … 😢 … nobody wanted me. And then they brought me here, and Mom-mom (Chris) and Miss Goose wanted to keep me, but Grammie said “NO”. So, on down the street we went, but Mom-mom told me later that in just maybe one minute, Grammie changed her mind and said, “Go get ‘im”. And I’ve been here ever since.
The thing is, though, that I’m getting very old, ‘cause I came here in 2000, so I’m, like 18 years old now, and that’s pretty old. A few weeks ago, I had something happen to me and I couldn’t stand up. Grammie said she thought it was a ‘stroke’, whatever that is. But, I got some better, and I still fall sideways sometimes when I walk. I used to be really fat, but now my hip bones stick out and I’m just like a furry skeleton. But I’m happy, and I get lots of pats, so life isn’t all bad.
They tell me I’m an ‘Odd Bodkins’, ‘cause I like some foods, like oatmeal, yoghurt, pumpkin goo and ice cream that moggies aren’t ‘posed to like. I ran away from home last summer, and Grammie & Goose had to spend hours trying to find me. That was fun, but now, anytime the front door is opened, they lock me up in the bathroom. Hmph … nothing like trust!
Ollie is my bestest friend and he takes care of me sometimes, especially when I get all dirty. Grammie calls us ‘the gay hombres’, but I’m not sure what that means.
NalaHey! Introduce me properly, Grammie – you’s supposed to curtsy to the princess. Oh … eh … heh heh … hi. My name is Princess Nala, but you can just call me ‘your highness’. I’m the second oldest and I’m special. If I need to go to the litter box, I just let out a cry, and somebody comes and picks me up and carries me. An’ when I’m ready for bed at night, my servant Miss Goose carries me up the stairs. That’s ‘cause I’m royal and shouldn’t have to wear out my beautiful royal paw-pads walking all that way. (It’s actually because she’s fat & lazy, but don’t tell her I said so)
I got in trouble a few nights ago, but it wasn’t my fault. They left me in the bedroom too long and I peed on the bed. Oopsie! It was mom-mom’s bed, but Grammie got the maddest, ‘cause she had to wash the sheets and it was some special day called “Mother’s Day”. But she’s not a ‘mother’ anyway … she’s just Grammie.
I get picked on a lot by Tiger. Don’t let her pretty face and fluffy fur fool you … she’s vicious! I don’t play … play is for juveniles like Boo. I am above that, ‘cause I am a Princess.
OliverHi, I’m Oliver, but they call me Ollie-bug, cause when I was a baby I always rolled up in a ball, and Grammie said I looked like a pill bug. When me an’ my sissy, Pandi, was just teenie, tiny babies, we got throwed into a big trash dumpster. I took care of my sissy, an’ I got out of the dumpster and went across the street, screaming! I can scream real good! I screamed and screamed, and then Mom-mom was walking back from the mailbox and she heard me, an’ she picked me up an’ brought me here. But I kep’ tellin’ her dat my sissy was still there. Finally, she listened an’ she went back an’ found Pandi an’ we’ve been here ever since. I guess we have a pretty good home … I never had any other, so I don’t know. But they buy us good food and we get lots of pats and sometimes catnip.
Every mornin’ I wait outside Grammie’s door for her to come out and she ruffs my head an’ always says the same thing: “Hey bud, how ya doin’?” I think she forgets that my name is Ollie, not Bud.
I love to chase mousies. Not real mousies, but we gots mousies with catnip in ‘em and I can even throw dem in the air and catch ‘em! Grammie says I’m the best behaved of the bunch … ‘cept Izzy, but she’s artistic or sumpin like that.
PandiMy name is Pandi and I’m really, really nervous of just about everything. My favourite room is the bathroom, ‘cause I can sit and look at me all day in the shiny thing. Ollie already told you how we wuz found, yeah? I was so scared, and I’ve never stopped bein’ scared, even though we get so much love. I bit Grammie the other day, and I felt bad. I wanted her to pet me, but when she did, I just … bit her. I dunno why. I think I’m a mean kittie, an’ I really don’t wanna be … I just get so scared.
Sometimes I do play, though. I even take the mousie back to Miss Goose when she throws it for me! She tells me I’m smart, and then I get all happy. I got in trouble once. Grammie had some flowers that Maha gave her and I knocked them off the shelf and the water went in some electric thingy and ruined it. I got yelled at, but then Grammie said she was sowwy.
Hi! It’s me, Boo! Booker T. Washington is my whole name, but folks around these parts just call me ‘Boo’. Me ‘n Ollie, are the only normal moggies around here, but don’t tell that to the girls, ‘cause they get … well, you know how girls are. I am educated … more than my sibs. I love to read books … if Grammie or Mom-mom leave a book open, I’m on it! Literally! I even loves to sleep on books! Annndddd … I can send emails and write notes! One day I wrote a big long note on grammie’s computer when she forgot to close the lid. I had more than 1200 letters in it! I kinda got in trouble, though, ‘cause I typed the word ‘shit’. 😏
The humans? Well, we all (mostly) love ‘em, but they’re weird about some things, like that word I just told ya. Every time I call one of my sissies a bit–, I get squirted with the water bottle. Heck, I learned the word from Grammie!
I like to play. Do you like to play? Wanna play wif me? I gots a stick thingy wid feathers on the end and I loves it when people play that with me. An’ my favourite thing is to pull the legs off o’ these things they call ‘crickets’. Grammie yells and take them outside, but I like to play with ‘em.
Well … gotta run now … I see mom-mom left the lid up on her computer and fell asleep … gonna go write to my girlfwiend! Tee hee …
TigerI am Tiger Lily and I am the most beautiful of all the kitties! My fur is thick and fluffy, my tail is so fluffy that everyone who sees it wants it for their own. And I am tiny and … what’s that other word? Petite … I am petite and dainty. I am not mean! I just don’t like anybody else, for they are all inferior to moi! I especially don’t like Nala, ‘cause she thinks she’s a princess and she tries to boss us. So I attack her every chance I get! I get squirted with the water bottle a lot. 😔
I only let Miss Goose hold me or pet me, and even then, not for long. I don’t pick on Orange, though … none of us do, ‘cause he’s old and sick, so we all leave him alone. Miss Goose named me Tiger, ‘cause I have such beautiful stripes! An’ since my name is Tiger, I feel I must live up to the name and be vicious! ROAR … 🐯
Grammie said she was gonna give me away a few weeks ago. I don’t much like Grammie. She calls me a bad word sometimes. She did say she was sorry later, though. I still don’t like her. I almost shredded her hand and bit her too, one time when she tried to pet me. Tee hee heeeee
IzzyMy name is Izzybelly an’ … an’ … I askeered of you … ‘bye 💨
Sorry ‘bout that, folks, but Miss Izzy has some issues. She lives under the sofa, only comes out on occasion, and has to be coaxed out twice a day to feed. If we have visitors, it is often a full day before she can be lured out. Depending on which professional you believe, she has either the feline equivalent of Down Syndrome or Autism. I lean more toward autism, but we will never know for sure. And really, it doesn’t matter. We just give her as much love as she will allow us to and make sure she eats.
So there you have it, folks, the Significant Seven in all their glory. Once upon a time it was the Terrific Ten, then the Notorious Nine, then the Enduring Eight, and now the Sig-Seven. All are rescue kitties and have their own special needs, some emotional, others physical. At least once a day I threaten to trade the whole lot for a good dog, but the truth is that we love them dearly … and they know it, too!
One final note: Please do NOT give Boo your email address, for he has been known to send ridiculously long, rambling emails!
Photo credits: Natasha K. McClain (aka Miss Goose)