OH NO … I Have Caught … Trumpitis!

There is an epidemic, a genuine health care crisis in the United States, and I, dear friends and readers, have contracted a case of it.  At first I wasn’t sure what it was, thought perhaps it was a normal part of the aging process.  But, as time went on and more symptoms began to appear, I realized something was not right … something was quite wrong!  The final straw came about because of my shoes.  Yes, yes, I said my shoes.  They have long had holes in the toes, but most recently also sprang holes in the heels, which for most people would necessitate a trip to a shoe store, or more likely Amazon, for a new pair.  But, a few pieces of duct tape, and they are functional as long as I don’t walk through puddles.  Now you are wondering what this has to do with my illness, right?  It is a symptom.  I have very holey shoes and I don’t care.  I have a cracked bone in my hand, and I don’t care.  There is a load of clothes sitting wrinkled in the dryer, and I don’t care.  Dinner?  I don’t care.  Raining?  I don’t care.  Cat just puked on the carpet?  Oh well.

I was about to name this disease I-don’t-care-itis until I began to assess the other symptoms, including sleeplessness, loss of appetite, funky heartbeat, bad temper, aversion to outdoors, exhaustion, crying over a dead bee, and more.  So, I started scouring the internet for a name for my mysterious disease, hoping to find a simple cure, like drinking orange juice thrice times a day.  Well, I found a name for it, but sadly, my friends, there is no cure.

It turns out, the answer was right on our friend Gronda’s blog post of 28 April 2017,  one that I had somehow missed.

“Trumpitis which is a strain causing the spread of anxiety and fear. The symptoms of weariness, exhaustion, temper outbreaks, mood swings to outright depression has taken hold of a large number of Americans especially those who are non-supporters of the republican President Donald Trump.”

That’s it … that is the disease with which I am afflicted!  I was briefly encouraged by a comment on Gronda’s post saying that the cure was something called Mugwumps.  I immediately called the local pharmacist, but he informed me that Mugwumps had been banned in the U.S. since January 2017.  Figures.  I contacted the Canadian pharmacy where I buy my insulin, but they said they are not allowed to ship Mugwumps to the United States.  Sigh.  I am doomed … doomed, I tell ya!

However, as I continued to troll the ‘net, seeking assistance or asylum, I came across a few things that just might help!  First, a colouring book …Trump coloring bookI suppose it would be something of a stress-reducer to colour his hair, say … hot pink, and his tie a garish lime green!  But wait … how about this one, folks …Trump dartboardOh, man … I used to be really great at hitting the bullseye when I was a kid playing darts with my dad.  I wonder if I still have that magic touch?

And how about this one …And finally, there is a book written to help us all overcome the trauma of Trumpitis …According to the blurb on Amazon …

Are Trump’s attitudes and behaviors bringing you down?

This practical, surprising and hopeful self-help guide will provide you with the tools to address the despair, panic and tragedy that Trump’s election and daily nightmare circus has created. It consists of 365 easy to digest prompts that are perfect for regular self-care and reflection.

For the good of the country you need to take care of yourself, provide political resistance and show the world that what Trump represents is America at it’s [sic] worst. As a nation we can do better and this book will help keep you, your family, your friends sane and energized until the end of the Era of 45.

I have downloaded a sample of the book to my Kindle and will let you know if it helps.

I am relieved, upon Googling ‘trumpitis’ to find that I am far from being the only sufferer of this disease.  Even children as young as age four have been diagnosed with this disease. There is a hashtag #trumpitis and there is even a Twitter account/page for it .  One site indicated that scientists are working on a cure, but it looks to be >10 years away.  Sigh.

From the Twitter feed #Trumpitis …

“It’s ok #USA. We know you have a horrible infection & are not yourself!! #Trumpitis is temporary. Sadly it will take a few years to pass but know we do realize it and will welcome you back when you feel better! #CanadiansArePatient #TrumpConcentrationCamps #WeAreNotPerfectEither”

“I walked away from relationships because they acquired I’m not sure but I’m beginning to believe it’s a Terminal diagnosis! I say Good riddance !”

It seems the only option is to move out of the country to one where I can obtain Mugwumps, else suffer until the bitter end.  I have directed Chris that upon my demise she is to sue the hell out of the person who brought this terrible malady to our shores.

Meanwhile, I shall not come into physical contact with any of my friends, for I believe the disease is highly contagious.  I considered using this as an opportunity to be heroic, to fix that which is broken in our nation by infecting as many republicans as possible, but I recently discovered that they have a natural immunity to the disease … some sort of antibody they were born with.  Ah well, Wonder Woman I ain’t.

Protect yourselves, my friends!  If you do not already have symptoms, stay in, keep the television off, stay away from the news.  SAVE YOURSELVES!!!

57 thoughts on “OH NO … I Have Caught … Trumpitis!

  1. Commented on Twitter, sorry. But as I was passing by, must add, can’t help but think the colouring book might make it worse. I’m voting for the gummy bears, warm bath and lavender scented candles, plus generous walks in cool woods, taking pains to notice the leaves and flowers and barks and fungi … Ahh. Forest bathing. Failing that, go find a park!

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  2. I can only recommend a good dose of NASA , it’s a great out of this world medicine guaranteed to focus the mind on the happenings in the first few microseconds of the big bang. Not only that you will be able to see pictures of the new rejuvenated Hadron-Collider , famous for unveiling the God Particle , preparing to probe the mysteries of dark matter. Not I hasten to add the dark matter of Trumps short earthly reign , oh no , but the far deeper question of why he , or we , ever came to exist at all.

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  3. Trumpitis? You want a cure? Get togrther with your friends in an appropriate public spot and chant “DUMP TRUMP!” till the cows come home. Or next time he opens his mouth and fake news comes out (that was an “and,” not an “if”) change the chant to “BULL SHIT!” just to add some variety…

    And next time you are in the bookstore, please note the first two words of the titles of certain books: “Self Help.” The best place to look for help is inside your Self. It is designed specially for you, costs absolutely nothing, and keeps your mind agile, especially as you age.

    Meanwhile, Jill, if you get your insulin from Canada, look into Toujeo. It is a concentrated form of insulin that is easier to inject, and much easier on the body. I don’t know what it costs, since I don’t pay for my meds, so it might cost more. But my doctor swears by it, and has changed all his insulin-using patients to it. Just a thought.

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      • Ouch. Sorry to hear that John. My doctor got me a special dispensation to get that 20% covered. But maybe your income is too high. Shoulda been a hippie, lol. I have no savings or pensions to fall back on…

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          • We do have universal health “care” but somewhere along the way (please don’t ask me how) prescription medicines didn’t fall under the heading care. In Alberta seniors get their meds at 80% off, but you have to pay for the balance. They also have a list of “uncovered meds” that are not “necessary” but elective. Other provinces have their own rules, but Alberta wants the Ametican style of health care because it was always a conservstive province, until last election. It’s complicated, but those who can afford to pay have to psy something. Those who cannot afford it get help.

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            • Well, 80% is better than nothing, but still falls short of being quite ideal. Is everything else, like xrays, hospital stays, lab tests and doctor visits covered fully? Speaking of which … what’s the latest on your pending surgery? And how have you been feeling?

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              • Where to start? On my way home from L.A. (Lethbridge, Alberta) on Monday, my pacemaker alarm started going off again. Timing could not have been better, like I planned it. My Device Clinic is in Edmonton, near the center of the province. We were two hours south at the time. I was able to get into the clinic next morning, where it was discovered a second lead had broken, bringing me down to 2 active leads. But my doc says they are the most important ones for me. Anyways, he again promised me he would book a surgeon as soon as he could find one available in the next four weeks, which was what he promised in March, but this time he showed me the req he faxed off to his favourite surgeon while I was still in his office. But my heart is mostly still beating properly, though some of my other conditions are acting up again. None of those are immediately life-threatening, just the pacemaker if another lead breaks. Still constantly feeling fatigued, but otherwise happy as usual.
                As for other types of medical care, all free, unless you choose to pay for elective surgeries and jumping the line. Or if you are a sitting politician or other public “servant.” Us commoners have to wait.

                Meanwhile, if you decide to move to Canada after November, consider Alberta (though not up north where I live, lol). Seniors benefits kick in after only 3 months of residency, and they are not too low. Of course, ask John about Ontario, oS’T about British Columbia. Both AB and BC share the Canadian Rockies, but every province boasts its own beauties. Vancouver Island has probably the best weather, but it’s going down with California when the Big One hits.

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                • Needless to say, I am concerned about the problems with your pacemaker and the delay in getting it fixed! It seems that if only 2 of the leads are functional, it is only operating at 50% … though admittedly I know nothing about pacemakers. I do hope they can take care of it quickly. I guess that is one of the downsides to the Universal Healthcare. When I worked for Honda, I met a man from Sri Lanka who was living in Canada working for Honda of Canada, and he said the same … that sometimes the waiting time was dangerously long. I’m glad to hear you are staying upbeat and happy though … I really think that is half the battle — I know it is for me, anyway.

                  If I were to move to Canada, I would have to do a great deal of research. My friend Emily lives in Victoria, BC, and has offered to sponsor me if I should decide I wanted to move there. They seem to have pretty nice weather and the pictures I’ve seen indicate it is a beautiful place. But … it is unlikely that I will move, and if I do, Chris would have to get a job, we would have to minimalize, get passports, and there is much to consider, so I’m still just in the thinking stages at present.

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                  • Keep on thinking, please? And keep on researching where it might be best in Canada to live. Every province has its good points, and its bad points. But evety one of them is better than the Staes, but you could say I am biased on that account.
                    But there is more chance of us meeting someday if you choose a western province. I would like to do that.

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                    • The thought is always in the back of my mind, but I vacillate between just wanting to leave the U.S. to the fools & idiots, and feeling that I need to stay and fight the evil, for whatever my small voice is worth. And yes … I would like to meet you one of these days also!

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      • Thanks John!!! Whoa … if it would cost you hundreds, then I’m fairly certain I cannot afford it. I take Humalog and Lantus … I just ordered two vials of each from the Canadian pharmacy I use, and the total was $513. In the U.S., it would have been around $2,700. Big difference, eh?

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          • Indeed you are! I think Obama had hopes of working toward a National Health Service, starting with ACA, but you see how ‘well-received’ that was! There has been some talk of stopping us from getting our meds from Canada … of course the pharma industry claims, likely true, that they are losing billions of dollars a year. Well, perhaps if they weren’t so greedy, we could all afford to buy our meds here. But if they stop us from buying from Canada, I am doomed, for frankly I couldn’t afford to buy my insulin. Period.

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    • The problem with your first idea … well, two problems actually. The first is that I find I have far fewer friends these days, for many jumped ship over my political ideology. I guess maybe I didn’t know my ‘friends’ as well as I thought, huh? Second, if I did that, I would likely end up in jail and then I couldn’t write this blog, for I’m fairly certain they would not allow me my laptop and provide me with WiFi.

      Somehow ‘self help’ books seem to me fairly unnecessary. I think we all know what we need to do to maintain our sanity, it’s just that we mostly have a hard time actually doing it. For instance, I know that I need to take about 3 days away from this blog, away from the news, not even turn my computer on, and focus on doing things more physical. Spring cleaning might be a good place to start! Walking. Reading (okay, so that’s not physical, but still …). But am I likely to do it? Not a snowball’s chance in hell.

      As for the crack about my age … you might remember that you are older than me by … what … two years, I think? 😀

      Based on John’s comment, I suspect Toujeo is not going to be a viable option for me, but I’m curious … you said it is easier to inject. How so? Even though I likely cannot afford it, I am going to look into it, for the one problem I have with the insulins I take (Humalog & Lantus) is the low sugar episodes which are partly related to stress, so they are obviously more frequent of late. I woke this morning with dangerously low glucose and have actually passed out a couple of times from it.

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      • Ah, Jill, the aging comment was not directed to “you” personally, but to “you”, the general population. As humans age there is less brainwork done by many, and the brain starts to work less hard than once it did. That certainly is not YOU, Ms Filosofa. But it is me, after my PCS (post-concussion syndrome) I lost a lot of my normal brain function, and don’t feel like I have it all back yet. My doctor tells me it is aging, but I know it is more than that. The PCS took away a lot of my brain power.

        What I mean about the Toujeo being easier to inject: it goes in easier for me. The regular insulin (I used Lantus) always hurt as I injected it, like I was forcing it into my body. The Toujeo just flows right in, without any feeling at all. It is almost like it flows around the cells rather than forcing the cells apart, if you know what I mean. Maybe I’m the only one who experienced pain while injecting insulin, I don’t know, I never talked to anyone about it. But when it first became available in Alberta, my doctor immediately started changing to it for everyone.

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        • Awww … I wasn’t upset about the aging remark anyway — I was laughing about it! And in truth, most of the time these days I feel older than my 67 years anyway. I find that my brain works overtime these days … it doesn’t seem to know how to shut down anymore. And don’t put yourself down, my friend, for there isn’t a thing wrong with your brain! You may have PCS, and maybe you have to work a bit harder at it, but you think just fine!

          I don’t have pain from insulin injections at all … well, every now and then I think I hit a nerve, and then there is just a brief bit of pain that sometimes travels all the way to my neck, but it is the needle, not the insulin itself. And I use the very thinnest, shortest needles I can get so I don’t have a stomach covered in little bruises. How often a day do you have to inject the Toujeo … the same as you did Lantus?

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  4. Dr. Jill, I am so relieved to finally have a diagnosis for this persistent debilitating affliction. I have tried many natural remedies to treat the symptoms, apple cider vinegar among others, to no avail. I am ordering The Trumpitis Antidote right away, I need HELP! The Ben and Jerry’s will hopefully lift my spirits until the book arrives. Benjamin will enjoy sharing the coloring books with me. I wonder if I travel to Canada, will my insurance cover Mugwumps? Thank-you so much, I am forever indebted to you!

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  5. Thank you! I needed a good laugh.
    Unfortunately, I think I already have a mild case of #trumpitis myself. It’s complicated by a severe case of #tenbuckturnbull-ism so it seems no part of the world is immune.
    The only bright spot seems to be that you can move to Canada if things get too bad. And I can move to New Zealand. Jacinta Ardern is the PM there and she’s young, idealistic, strong and just had a baby…while in office! She gives me hope.
    Not all of the young are idealists, but by god, even the worst are better than the ageing monsters who control our destiny now.
    I may be old myself, but I want that generation of selfish, narcissistic, self-serving, self-centred ageing man-children to go. Out. Gone. Forever. Then we can all heal.

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  6. Dear Jill,

    I keep having relapses of this to where it is serious. When I am stressed, it hits my stomach. I am usually very social but I have been so short tempered that I’m afraid to be around anyone.

    This is why I love hanging around my son in the Denver, Colorado area. There are gummy bear candies that make me feel so much better.
    Hugs, Gronda

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  7. Pingback: OH NO … I Have Caught … Trumpitis! — Filosofa’s Word – SELF CENSORED

  8. I’m also afflicted with Trumpitis, but have learned to cope with it like I cope with my lower back arthritis and a few other age-related ailments. Part of my preventative measures and therapy includes not watching any TV news whatsoever. Just the sight of the Orangeman’s face and the sound of his annoying voice is enough to trigger the worst Trumpitis symptoms. For some reason, reading the news doesn’t. Also, it helps to have diversionary outlets like hobbies or other activities which take one’s mind off the insanity. Here’s to coping… 🙂

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    • I never, ever, ever watch television news. And I refuse to even look at a clip of “The Donald”, so my exposure is limited. But just reading the tweets … OHHHHHH … my head!!! Hobbies? Oh yes, I remember … I used to have hobbies. I sewed, knitted, hiked … but … no time for that any more … busy, busy, busy down here in the rabbit hole … must get ready, y’know … busy, busy ………………………….

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      • Balance, Jill. Here’s an old classic from Simon & Garfunkel:

        Slow down, you move too fast
        You got to make the morning last
        Just kicking down the cobble stones
        Looking for fun and feelin’ groovy

        Hello lamppost, what cha knowing?
        I’ve come to watch your flowers growing
        Ain’t cha got no rhymes for me?
        Doot-in’ doo-doo, feelin’ groovy

        Got no deeds to do, no promises to keep
        I’m dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep
        Let the morning time drop all its petals on me
        Life, I love you, all is groovy

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  9. Soooo glad to find out I’m not the only one! I was really getting concerned. It’s a dreadful malady and can play havoc with your emotional state. MUST look into that book …

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    • No, Nan, you are NOT alone … I am finding most of my US friends have the disease and even some of my Australian/UK friends are experiencing it! It has reached epidemic proportions!!! I wonder if the CDC is aware of it? Yes, check out the book … and the colouring book!!!!

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  10. I hope that you won’t all have to go down with the ship. I believe that with a good showing of the Democratic spirit in November and no doubt more than a few honest defections from the Republican party, your Captain Ahab can still be brought back under proper control. Probably sulking and no doubt tweet mad but at least under control. Maybe he’ll even be temped to resign in the face of American and World disapproval. Your symptoms will disappear immediately then.
    Cwtch

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    • The Delerious Twitterbug thrives on disapproval. The more he gets, the more he wants. Have you forgotten the First Law of advertising, David? Bad news is good news–it is much better than no news at all! As long as he is in the limnlight (rawgod’s special spelling dictionary), it means he is still Dictator “Terrible.” (As in “Enfant Terrible!”)

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    • True … if he either resigned, was impeached, or died, then my symptoms might well disappear overnight. But, sigh, I am not holding my breath, especially since our own are now subverting the cause. But no worries, for I have my colouring book and ice cream, so I can sit on the floor colouring pretty pictures and getting fat! 😀
      Cwtch

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