Hey Wait … It’s Not Monday Yet???

Hi … um … what are you guys doing here?  It’s not Monday yet.  It … what???  It is Monday?  Already?  Are you sure you’re not pulling my leg …?  Keith … I know you wouldn’t fib to me … what day is it?  OH!  Ooopsie … I … I am a bit behind, I fear.  I haven’t baked this morning … let me run into the kitchen right quick and see what I can scrounge up … make yourselves at home … be right back!

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Fruit, cheese, brioche & popcorn — what more could you ask for?

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This was actually my breakfast a few days ago … oops … burnt the brioche, again.  I still ate it … nice and crunchy.

 

Not much of a selection, but while I was digging around in the fridge and the pantry, I did make a pot of coffee and boiled water for tea.  I’m really sorry, guys … I promise to do better next time.  😔  Still, since it is Monday, let’s see if we can make it a jolly one with a few laughs, okay?


An honest man …

We’ve all had parking tickets, right?  Some of you maybe even paid your parking tickets!  Me?  I crumple them up and toss them in the nearest trash can, or stick them in my pocket ‘til I come to a trash can.  I don’t recall ever paying one in my life.  See, the thing is that our tax dollars paid for the street and the sidewalk that parking meter is on.  I always feed the meter a couple of quarters, and if it runs out before I get back to my car … oh well … I paid my fair share already, for sometimes there is time left on the meter and I figure it all balances out somehow.  Not that I worry much about it these days, for I have no car to park!  Anyway …

A man known only as ‘Dave’ sent his ticket and payment of $5 to the police department in Minersville, Pennsylvania last week.  The ticket dated back to 1974 and was for $2 … I guess the extra three dollars was for accrued interest?parking ticket.jpg


Aged beef?

Now, if you thought the food I put out for you this morning was less than stellar, get a load of this!  The man’s name is Dave Alexander (another Dave!) and this one is selling something truly unique on Ebay.  Dave has for sale a McDonald’s cheeseburger and fries!  What … you’re not excited?  Well, Dave, who lives in Ontario, Canada, might well have this market cornered, for the food he is selling at auction is six years old and has been sitting on a shelf that entire time!  blech.  🤢Old burger and friesAlexander said he had his daughter buy him the burger and fries on June 6, 2012, so he could put them on a shelf in his home and determine whether rumors that McDonald’s food doesn’t decompose were mere urban legend.  A year later, he placed a homemade burger and fries next to the McDonald’s food for comparison purposes.  The results?

“The fries are stunningly good looking. The fries look like they were purchased this morning. The burger itself has darkened a little bit. The bun is about as hard as a hockey puck, but it looks just like it’s brand new cosmetically. The cheese on the homemade one, especially the french fries, the potatoes, just look like little bits of charcoal right now.”

The McDonald’s burger and fries started at $22.91 and bids reached $62.65 on Friday with six days remaining in the auction.  Pretty reasonable for such a find, eh?  I’m a little suspicious … I almost never eat McDonald’s cardboard food anyway, but if it has so many preservatives that it hasn’t decayed after six years … well, it reminds me of a woman who used Botox … what you see is not necessarily what you get!


Drunken what???

I have, back in the day, spent a lot of time on the shores of both East and West coasts and have seen many a seagull.  I like them, as long as they only steal my food and don’t pluck my hair out of my head, as they have been known to do.  But in all my days, I have never seen a drunken seagull!  I’m not sure what the Brits are doing to their seagulls, but of late they seem to have had a rash of drunkenness among their gull population.

From The Guardian, 06 July 2018 …

“RSPCA staff have been left scratching their heads after a string of callouts to collect ‘drunk’ gulls. The animal welfare charity is concerned the birds have been gaining access to waste products from a local brewery or alcohol producer, making them disoriented and confused. Jo Daniel, an RSPCA officer, said ‘the birds absolutely stink of alcohol’ when they collect them.”


Those of you who are of my own generation probably remember the old Art Linkletter show and the segment he had called, “Kids Say the Darndest Things”?  I was reminded of that today when I came across these two things written by kids …kids-1.jpg

 

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Hmph … I bet I know this kid’s father …


And last, let us wrap up our Jolly Monday with a short video clip of a squirrel evicting an owl from his home … I think the little guys will even enjoy this one …


BooWell, friends, our respective jobs and duties are calling … I have a pile of laundry, and you guys have jobs and other chores to attend to.  I hope you found something today to laugh about.  I apologize for the meager offerings this morning and promise to remember next week and make better treats!  Stay cool, keep safe, and have a really great week, my friends!  And please remember to share those wonderful smiles you have … cheer somebody up today!  Hugs ‘n love from Filosofa!  Oh … Boo says “hi”, too!

30 thoughts on “Hey Wait … It’s Not Monday Yet???

  1. A note from Benjamin, just back from an extended vacation at the New Hampshire beach house. I may have mentioned that Benjamin does not like the words she and her, thus all girls are he and him in his world. He did have a lovely little girl as a playmate while away and both were quite smitten with each other. Benjamin told his Uncle “that him is a her!” We may be making progress, or so I hoped. Until he said : “Miss Jill must like burned things, he does it a lot!” We loved the squirrel video, that squirrel is quite plucky! Benjamin said : “The squirrel needs to learn about sharing.” You really know how to make Mondays fun! Love the song too. Thank-you x 2!! P.S. Benjamin thought that I should mention that he only likes Gouda cheese…only Cracker Barrel Gouda cheese!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh my!!! Benjamin is going to grow up thinking I am a horrible cook! I must stop burning the Jolly Monday treats! 😀 I love that he said the squirrel should learn about sharing … it shows that even at only 4, he has his heart in the right place. When is his birthday, by the way? I will make a special card … I’ve never known a 4-year-old who ever heard of gouda cheese, let alone liked it! He is an awesome kid! Glad you enjoyed Jolly Monday! 🤗

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  2. That gull acts just like my neighbor, except a lot less noisy. I second the notion that the squirrel is a little jerk. Men don’t understand women? Yes, it’s largely true due to an equal combination of deception and self-delusion.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha ha … yes, I had the thought that at least the gull wasn’t staggering around cussing a blue streak and trying to pick a fight! Men do not understand women for the simple reason that women do not understand themselves. Now, I don’t intend to lump all women together, nor all men, but for the most part, I find men much easier to understand than most women. And if you repeat that to any of my female friends, I will deny I ever said it and I’ll say you had been out drinking with a flock of sea gulls! 😀

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Dear Jill,

    I’m still choking on my coffee laughing. The boy’s book showed wisdom beyond his years.
    The poor drunk seagulls can be quite the problem. I can’t help but wonder how they had access to the booze.
    That bully squirrel. The owl was bigger.

    I’m still laughing. Thanks!

    Hugs, Gronda

    Liked by 1 person

    • It makes my day to know I made you laugh!!! You and I need laughs more than ever before, I think. The owl, by the way, was a wimp! He could have tossed that squirrel if he wanted to. Have a happy week, my friend … let’s both find things to laugh about this week. 😀 Hugs!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Fun stuff. The drunken seagulls remind me of the study of monkeys who were encouraged to drink too much, got sick and wouldn’t touch the stuff after that. Smarter then us, No??? Have a great week, my friend.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hi Jill on this mother-of-all-Mondays! Just been home to Austria for a week to check on my mom who has been ill. Could not comment/like any of your stuff from there – could not log in, no matter how hard I tried. So back home now to a house that has been run by three men of various age for a week… You can imagine the size of my washing!!! They did find and operated the dishwasher though. Lucky me. – So now it is a mad dash to get everything in order, then to pack and leave – again – for Austria at the end of the week, this time all 4 of us! …. Pffffff. World spinning at bit fast for me at the moment. – So sorry that I did not comment/respond/reacted in any way to your spot-on-posts…
    Take care!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh no!!! I’m so sorry to hear that your mum is sick! I hope she is doing better now?

      Oh yes, I know all too well what it is like to come back after leaving the house in their care! I always considered myself lucky if I still had dishes and the house hadn’t been either razed or condemned by the city! You need to sit down and catch your breath, my friend! I do hope you have a nice trip and have some time to enjoy lying in the hammock, reading, walking, and enjoying your mum’s company. How long are you guys going for?

      Safe travels and have a wonderful time, in case we don’t chat again before you leave!

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  6. Ah, this certainly confirms my suspicion that McDonalds food may kill people, or at least preserve their innards in some kind of formaldehyde state. Doesn’t bear thinking about really!
    Sometimes gulls get drunk on rotten, fermented fruit, but as I can’t watch the video’s, I’ll have to suppose that someone is trying to poison them. Sad state of our world is that people generally don’t seem to want any wildlife around.
    It is well known up in the North of England, that the term ‘The Local Wildlife,’ refers more to the delinquent kids of a particular town, rather than anything of another species.
    Have a good week Jill. Try not to burn any more of your breakfasts…I don’t think all that ash will be good for you 😉💕

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree that McDonald’s food doesn’t bear thinking too much about … I used to eat it when Miss Goose was little, for of course she loved it! Plus, they had a play area where she could work off some of her energy before I took her home and had to deal with her all evening after working all day 😉

      I think the gull intoxication was accidental, as they got into some brewery waste … oversight and negligence, but I don’t think the intent was to harm the birds. However you are right, far too many humans have little respect for wildlife and either intentionally or unintentionally kill or maim.

      I will try not to burn breakfast anymore, but … sigh … I cannot simply stand and watch the toaster oven, but must always be doing something else — folding laundry, wiping counters, cleaning range hood … something! That one was funny, though, for I was folding laundry, turned to look back at the toaster oven and smoke was pouring out of it! When I took the brioche out, it smoked for a good 2 minutes! Still, it wasn’t bad … crunchy and a bit sweet.

      Have a great week, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Damn, Jill. I keep ending up upset with you, but have no fear, it is my problem, not yours. But you know I am going to tell you about it anyway, don’t you. The poor drunken gulls (birds, not “birds,”) of Great Britain are either going to hate you for embarrassing them, or start selling Beer and spirits to all the tourist gulls they run into, I don’t know which yet.
    Okay, all you did was repost a newspaper’s video, so you are only slightly pregnant, oops, I mean, barely responsible, ah, damn, get your mind out of the gutter, Jerry!
    Okay, all you did was repost a newspaper’s video, but if they were trying to be responsible they would never have posted it in the first place. If I start seeing drunken seagulls, the flying kind, not the sailing kind, I will have to think about suing the Guardian for cruelty to animals. There are people out there who will think this is funny, and start leaving mugs of beer or shots of spirits where seagulls congregate, and knowing humans as I do, being one, the idea will spread like a virus. There will be drunken gulls in every port, (not the wine port, please!) and many of them will not live to realize what happened to them. People might not like gulls, but they keep our docks and beaches clean of dying or dead flesh, thus helping to stop the spread of disease, not to mention the odours that go along with deteriorating flesh.
    Besides, how much will governments have to spend on gull addiction centres? It will be your taxes, not mine…

    Meanwhile, thank you for the tea. It hit the spot. (There, I didn’t say g-spot, did I?)

    Liked by 1 person

    • ACK!!! So, you’re saying I have unwittingly contributed to the delinquency of an avian? OH NO!!! I feel just awful! But wait … I wasn’t the one who got the bloomin’ birds drunk to start with! Yes, Jerry … mind out of the gutter!

      You are the only person I know who can take a simple, innocent story about some drunken sea gulls and turn it into a doomsday scenario! 😀 And if the brewery had take better care about their waste, then none of this would have happened and I would have had to go in search of silly cartoons to fill the space on my post! You are having a bit of trouble controlling that mind today, aren’t you? 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lol, was trying to add humour to my actually very serious post. The world is full of copycats, especially when it makes them feel superior to something else, or someone else.
        First they copy what they see, in this case getting seagulls drunk, and then they feel superior because they don’t act like that when they are drunk. They actually do, as I am sure you know, but they don’t see that, or they do see it, but sharing the feeling with someone like a bird means they are funny, not obnoxious. They wish!

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  8. Uff! Mean squirrel!
    If Andy Warhol was still around he would have bought the Ebay MacDonald’s
    UK seagulls can be real pests, a number of coastal towns try and prohibit folk feeding them, so they move inland. They are quite aggressive too. I once watched a not very astute cat trying to stalk one on a roof; the gull flew off….a few minutes later a whole flock returned and started swooping down on the hapless feline, now flat against the roof….I got a feeling they knew what they were doing when they found booze!

    Liked by 3 people

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