The Power of a Woman!

Ryan Cherwinski got more than he bargained for at Vinnie Van Go-Go’s pizzeria in Savannah, Georgia last week!  And I have to say, it couldn’t have happened to a more deserving guy.  As he was leaving the restaurant, he decided to ‘cop a feel’ and grab the derrière that was attached to and owned by waitress Emelia Holden.  Bad move, bucko.  Look what happened …

As you can see, she didn’t even think twice about it …

“I was like nope, that’s not going to happen. It felt a lot longer than it was, but then watching it I realized how quickly I reacted to it. I’m 115 pounds. … I didn’t know I could do that.”

Holden asked a co-worker to call the police. After speaking to Holden and watching the surveillance footage, the Savannah Police Department arrested Cherwinski, took him into custody and charged him with sexual battery.

“I was really satisfied when he was arrested. It not only felt like justice for me but justice for the other women who have had that happen.”

Now, I am not condoning violence here, okay?  Some are probably thinking, “But Filosofa, we thought you were against violence?”  I am, however, in this case, I think it was fully justified.  Personally, I do not like being touched by a stranger and would likely have acted similarly. Women were not, contrary to what some like Donald Trump believe, put on this earth to be a plaything for the male race.  With one possible exception, no man I know would dream of making unsolicited physical advances toward a woman.  But, recent studies have shown that women who work in low-wage restaurant jobs are particularly vulnerable to sexual harassment.

Jocelyn Frye, who researches women’s economic security at the Center for American Progress, a think tank in Washington, found this year that workers in food services and retail filed more than three times as many claims as employees in higher-paying fields of finance and insurance. Frye also found nearly three quarters of those filing sexual harassment complaints also reported retaliation.

A 2014 report from the Restaurant Opportunities center also found two-thirds of female restaurant workers were sexually harassed by restaurant management, by their co-workers and by customers. A third of women reported that unwanted touching was routine.

This is simply wrong.  The #MeToo movement went viral last October and has continued to grow beyond its origins in Hollywood to the fields of science, religion, medicine, sports, academia and politics.  It is time to bring it to the retail & food service industries. Emelia-HoldenMs. Holden was brave, and likely very fortunate that the restaurant’s security camera was in the right place at the right time and recorded the incident, otherwise it would have been a matter of “her word against his”, and Mr. Cherwinski initially tried to claim that his hand accidentally brushed her as he walked by her.  The video shows otherwise.  If there had been no video?  I’m willing to bet that Cherwinski would have reported the incident to restaurant management and Ms. Holden would have lost her job, while Cherwinski would have been given coupons for a free meal or two.  The tendency seems to believe the man over the woman.

The #MeToo movement has heightened our awareness.  I don’t think most of us realized how wide spread the problem of sexual abuse was until last year.  I certainly didn’t, and I am constantly amazed, befuddled and disgusted by the people who thought they had a right to take advantage of a woman just because they could.  Because the woman relied on them for a job, in many cases.  This is a crime against women, and there should be no doubt of that.  BUT … when the president of the country has proudly admitted to sexually abusing women, and has not been held accountable either in the courts or in the court of popular opinion, it sends the message to some that it must be okay.  Even evangelical Christians, when asked how they reconcile his behaviour with their own values, rationalize that “God has forgiven him”.

There are others in our federal government who, rather than set a positive example, have chosen to ignore social norms and denigrate women:  former Judge Roy Moore who ran for U.S. Senate last year, was credibly accused of pedophilia; Blake Farenthold, former representative from Texas; Trent Franks, former representative from Arizona; Al Franken, former senator from Minnesota; John Conyers, former representative from Michigan.  And the list goes on and on.  These are men who make the laws, men we all trust to ensure equality, and they cannot even keep wee willy winkie put away!  ENOUGH!!!

For far too long, women have been afraid to come forth, afraid to tell, afraid not to succumb to men’s sexual aggression.  I applaud the move taken by Ms. Holden and hope it serves as an example for women everywhere that we do not have to put up with this!

22 thoughts on “The Power of a Woman!

  1. I was wondering, any updates on Ryan Cherwinski’s court hearing, the internet is silent on this. Not that I condone his behavior or excuse it; he was totally wrong. That said, I hope the waitress forgives him and does not press charges. I mean, he is humiliated, shamed, all over the internet and I am sure is abused by strangers at the grocery store, who recognize him. I am also sure his relationship with his girlfriend is probably non-existent now and likely to be estranged from his daughters when they grow up and see this video. I mean has he not been punished ENOUGH? As it is, he is unlikely to get 90% of jobs he applies to due to the internet. A criminal conviction will slam the 10% door shut too. Does he not deserve at least a chance to make a living in the future? Just asking….. Does he not deserve just that bit of consideration to have criminal charges pressed, bearing in mind he has already been punished and humiliated so badly?

    Liked by 1 person

    • I did a quick check, and have found no updates on the case. To answer your question … I have no sympathy for Mr. Cherwinski. For far too long, men in this country (and elsewhere) have had the attitude that women are put on this earth for men’s pleasure and convenience. Even today, in this the 21st century, far too many men think this way. There comes a point where … sorry, Mr. Cherwinsky, and Mr. Cosby, and Mr. Ailes, and Mr. Weinstein, but we’re tired of it. Somewhere along the line, somebody will be hung out to dry to prove to the world that women are not sexual objects. The ‘wink-wink’, locker room talk attitude has to stop somewhere. So, sorry, but no, I don’t feel sorry for him.


      • No, you misunderstood; I am not asking if you feel sorry for him, no one does and I definitely don’t. I am just in the name of charity hoping the victim (the waitress) and the prosecutors can at least have the heart to forgive him and not press charges, so he retains a 10% chance of making a living. A sex-offender registration will make sure he starves to death. As it is, almost all jobs are closed to him, as Google has destroyed him. If he does not have a criminal conviction (and sex-offender registration), at least he has a chance to get some job to feed himself, buy goodwill clothes 2nd hand and live in a roach-filled studio apartment in a dingy area, i.e., survive on this earth…. Or, are you saying, let him STARVE TO DEATH? Who cares? Is that what you are saying? Just asking….. At the end of the day, he is a human being.

        Liked by 1 person

        • My apologies for misunderstanding! I think we are all wound tight these days, and as a woman seeing the current president’s disrespect for and abuse of women, I tend to bristle far too quickly. Please forgive me. No, I would not wish that anybody starve to death, but neither would I let him off the hook. I’m tired of seeing judges let people off the hook … remember the case of Ethan Couch who got off scot free after driving drunk and killing 4 people? He got off with naught but a slap on the wrist, for they said he had “affluenza” … a made-up term meaning ‘spoiled rich kid’. And there was Brock Turner who got off with a slap on the wrist after drugging and raping a woman on the campus of Stanford University. Sigh. But to your point, you are partly right, that he did not rape nor murder the waitress and should not have to pay for the rest of his life. But, neither do I wish to see him get off with naught but a slap on the wrist. It’s a good thing I am not a judge, for in truth, I do not know what is the right punishment, only that somehow there must be one to deter men from thinking they have that right … the right to take liberties with our bodies.


  2. When I saw that story violence didn’t even enter my mind. It was self-defense plain and simple. Now had she hit him over the head with a chair, THAT I might have considered violent. Or lucky, one of the two!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Jill,

    Thanks for doing a post on this incident. I have watched this video several times as it just feels good to watch a a young 21 year old women handle a philandering male in an an appropriate way instead of playing the part of the victim by just accepting the situation. It did not pay for this 31 year old Florida man in a long term 11 year relationship with the Mother of his twin girls, to take the liberty of feeling the derriere of a woman without her permission while she is working her butt off as a waitress.

    She said: “I got what I wanted when they put him in handcuffs,” Holden told WSFA-TV. “Best wishes to your daughters.”

    Hugs, Gronda

    Liked by 1 person

    • My pleasure, Gronda! As soon as I saw this story, I knew I had to write about it. Like you, I watched the video multiple times and applauded each and every time. I love this young woman’s spunk! And along about now, I am imagining that ol’ Ryan may be sitting alone in his house, his girlfriend having said, “buh bye!” 😉


      Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m delighted to see someone struck a blow to stop molestation. I’m pleased the police took it seriously and charged him.It would be nice if there was a wife at home waiting to offer her opinion of him.


    Liked by 1 person

    • I, too, was delighted! I watched the clip about 10 times! I understand that he had a girlfriend and two children … ‘splain that one, Ryan! What would have been even better is if his girlfriend had been with him, walking a few steps ahead. 😀


      Liked by 1 person

  5. Even evangelical Christians, when asked how they reconcile his behaviour with their own values, rationalize that “God has forgiven him”.

    And this shows how twisted religious “morality” is. The only person with any right to decide whether to forgive the behavior or not is the victim of the behavior. Some uninvolved third party, whether it’s God or some random guy in Oshkosh, has no business saying “you are forgiven”. He’s not the one it happened to.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Exactly! But, it makes it easier for them to reconcile in their own mind. Just like a lady I once knew who was, shall we say, not a very nice lady, one of low morals. I once asked her (no, I’ve never learned to keep my mouth shut) how she slept at night. She said, “oh it’s easy, I just give it all to God and he forgives me”. So, I guess she started each new day with a clean slate, huh? Sigh.


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