Ahhhhh … What A Fool

The piece I am sharing with you today does not come from The Onion, though you would be forgiven for thinking so.  It is, rather, a tongue-in-cheek look at Donald Trump as per his interview on Fox ‘News’ with Chris Wallace last Sunday by Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank.

This is what happens when a stable genius leads a stupid country

By Dana Milbank, Columnist, November 19 at 7:35 PM

Dana Milbank

President Trump is surrounded by fools.

There’s that fool William H. McRaven, Special Operations commander of the raid that killed Osama bin Laden, and the other fools in the U.S. military, who should have brought down bin Laden “a lot sooner,” because “everybody in Pakistan” — all 208 million of them — knew the terrorist leader was living in “a nice mansion.” Trump alone “predicted Osama bin Laden” in 2000 when “nobody really knew who he was.”(Were they waiting for Trump to give them bin Laden’s Zip code plus four?)

There are the fools in the CIA, who have concluded based on so-called evidence that Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman ordered last month’s killing of Post contributor Jamal Khashoggi. But Trump alone understands that we’ll never know the truth, because the crown prince denied involvement “maybe five different times.”

There’s that fool Chris Wallace at Fox News, who didn’t understand why Trump skipped Arlington National Cemetery on the Monday after Veterans Day after skipping a visit to a U.S. military cemetery in France two days earlier. But Wallace, if he were wiser, would have known Trump was “extremely busy on calls for the country” as well as “doing other things.”

There are the foolish Finns who, after Trump claimed Finland avoided forest fires because “they spent a lot of time on raking,” are now mocking him by posing with garden tools in the woods. But Trump knows Finnish forest-raking is real because Finland’s president, Sauli Niinisto, told him about it just last week (even if Niinisto can’t remember this).

Worst of all are the fools in California — people who insist on calling the fire-destroyed town there “Paradise” instead of “Pleasure,” as Trump prefers to call it — who assert that the fires were caused by drought instead of their own mismanagement. As Trump well knows, “there is no drought” in California and there is “plenty of water.”

No one has suffered as many fools as Trump has. But this is to be expected when a “very stable genius” leads a “stupid country.”

Trump knows “more about courts than any human being.” He knows “more about steelworkers than anybody.” He knows “more about ISIS than the generals do,” and “more about offense and defense than they will ever understand.” He knows “more about wedges than any human being that’s ever lived.” He even knows more about medicine than his doctor, dictating a doctor’s letter predicting he would be “the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.”

How does Trump know so much about so many things? Explaining his disagreement with scientists on climate change, Trump told the Associated Press: “My uncle was a great professor at MIT for many years. Dr. John Trump. And I didn’t talk to him about this particular subject, but I have a natural instinct for science.”

Given Trump’s natural scientific instinct, you don’t need a B.S. from Trump University to know how frustrating it must be to be contradicted repeatedly by “experts” — some in his own administration!

The intelligence community unanimously believes that Russia meddled in the 2016 election, but Trump’s instinct says there’s no reason to disbelieve Russian President Vladimir Putin’s denials.

Satellite imagery shows that North Korea has enhanced its ability to launch missiles, but Trump says, “I don’t believe that.”

The scientific consensus supports the theory of climate change, but Trump says “it could very well go back” to cooling.

Trump’s instinct has led him to a number of scientific discoveries over time:

“The worst hurricanes were 50 years ago.”

Vaccines cause autism in “many” healthy children.

The flu shot is “totally ineffective.”

Exercise is unhealthy.

Coal is “indestructible.”

Windmills are a “killing field” for birds and can make people who live near turbines “go crazy after a couple of years.”

It’s okay to look directly at the sun during a solar eclipse.

California is “shoving” water out to sea “to protect a certain kind of three-inch fish.”

With such a high level of technical expertise, Trump waited 19 months into his presidency to name a White House science adviser. More than 1,000 members of the National Academy of Sciences accuse Trump of the “denigration of scientific expertise and harassment of scientists.”

But they don’t understand. Trump knows more about science than the scientists do.

And this is the problem with being surrounded by fools: Though Trump gives his presidency an “A-plus,” most Americans — about 60 percent — do not appreciate his brilliance.

He deserves better — and he should demand it. He should walk away, withdraw his excellence, maybe get a place in Pleasure — and leave us to suffer our own foolish “scientists” and “experts” and “facts.” That would really show us.

Deep breaths … lighten up … smile, for it is humour.  Any fool who rates himself an A+ when more than half the country, not to mention allies in other nations, hate him enough to wish to send him to Siberia, is a moron.

50 thoughts on “Ahhhhh … What A Fool

  1. Trump is literally a walking punchline. “And then Trump said/did….”. Fill in any number of ridiculous things he’s said or done and you’ve got a comedy show. He should be happy this week. He gets to worship Putin’s backside in front of a worldwide audience again at the g20 summit. Ugh! It’s SO embarrassing to be an American these days.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, pretty much, except … isn’t comedy supposed to be funny? I stopped laughing a long time ago. It’s one of those “It would be funny, if only …” Oh yeah, the G20 … what could possibly go wrong, eh?

      Like

  2. ‘ A natural instinct for science ‘ I burst out laughing , as a comedian he is second to none and yet he is not joking. Apparently AI is being quickly developed so we can all sit back and write blogs or make phone calls , but it has a long way to go before it challenges the brain of the century Mr Donald Trump.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jill, Dana Milbank has captured it well with his tongue in cheek editorial. He even left off a few topics such as Trump claiming to know taxes better than anyone, ever. Or, that he knows trade and tariffs better than the economists, yet for some reason has a hard time explaining who tariffs hurt angry what trade deficits and surpluses mean. An intelligent person knows how much he does not know. Trump knows everything well. Just ask him. Keith

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, he was spot-on with this one. I imagine the word limitation was the only thing that kept him from including the other topics you mention. You’re right … he is, after all, a genius! Why do I have so much trouble remembering that???

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  4. Dear Jill,

    How can you argue successfully with the man who knows more than all the experts in just about every field of study? The trick is to pretend that he doesn’t exist and to talk to an audience in a way that’s positive, concrete to earn their trust. His followers need to know what’s for real.

    Hugs, Gronda

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Brilliant! I always enjoy Dana Milbank’s columns in The Washington Post. As for Trump, I give you the words of Aesop : “The smaller the mind, the greater the conceit.” Thank-you!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Reblogged this on sherriemiranda1 and commented:
    Don’t forget that coal is really, really clean! DO NOT ASK THE PEOPLE LIVING IN THOSE POLLUTED COAL TOWNS CUZ THEY DON’T KNOW ANYTHING!
    Sherrie Miranda’s historically based, coming of age, Adventure novel “Secrets & Lies in El Salvador” is about an American girl in war-torn El Salvador:
    http://tinyurl.com/klxbt4y
    Her husband made a video for her novel. He wrote the song too.
    You can watch it on YouTube or go to my home page:
    https://sherriemiranda1.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Trump is not a moron. He does not even know how to spell moron, nor does he know what it means to be a moron. But at least give the man the benefit of the doubt, and call him what he should rightfully be called, an A+ moron. After all, he is the best at what he does, n’est-ce pas?

    Liked by 3 people

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