Good Monday morning, my friends! I’m so glad you could drop by this morning. How was your weekend? Mine? It was fine … we went out for a bit on Saturday and it started pouring rain as soon as we walked out of the house, so after being drenched numerous times, we gave up and came home to the warm, dry, and furry house!
I must admit that I am anything but jolly this Monday morning, so please forgive me if the humour falls a bit flat. No, no … nothing wrong … just too much of … well, you know what. And perhaps a bit too much of this grey and gloomy winter. But, good news lies ahead, for according to the forecast, it is supposed to top 70° on Thursday! Perhaps if I can resume my daily walks, my humour will improve (not to mention the shape of my winter-worn body!).
Well, grab a donut and cup of coffee or tea (yes, rawgod, I remembered the tea this morning!), and let’s see if I can pull off a bit of a smile. Oh … by the way … today is National Napping Day, so let’s all do our patriotic duty and catch a midday snooze, eh?
The mayor is a …
I’ve written before about towns that have dogs, and even cats for mayors. The first one I had ever heard of was Rabbit Hash, Kentucky where the first elected mayor in Rabbit Hash history was Goofy Borneman-Calhoun, who was inaugurated in 1998 for a four-year term. Since that time, Rabbit Hash has never had a mayor that wasn’t a canine.
Then there was Stubbs, the feline mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska, for nearly 20 years until her death in 2017.But I really think that the town of Fair Haven, Vermont, is the first in history to have elected a goat as mayor! Yep, folks, you heard right … a g-o-a-t.Meet Lincoln, the new mayor of Fair Haven! With 13 votes, Lincoln eked out a victory over Sammie the dog, who received 10 votes. Talk about voter apathy! The town has approximately 2,500 residents, and only 23 of them bothered to vote? Sheesh!
Well, people might laugh at a goat for mayor, but heck, we live in a nation that elected a jackass for president, so what else can be said?
The price of beauty …
Now, I don’t go to a hairdresser … I trim my fringes and ends, and that’s the extent of my ‘hairdressing’. And we don’t take our kitties to the groomer … they get frequent brushings right here at home. So, I am not familiar with what hairdressers and pet groomers charge, but apparently groomers charge more than hairdressers do.
People must frequently complain about their groomer’s charges and ask why they charge more than the hairdresser down the street. Now, personally, if I were a groomer, my comeback would be, “Because we make your dog/cat look beautiful, but look what your hairdresser did to you!” However, that would likely cause me to go out of business quickly, wouldn’t it?
One groomer in Copenhagen, Laura Gedgaudaite , came up with her own witty solution, and placed this sign in the window of her shop …Hmmm … makes perfect sense, don’t you think?
Elephant! Cover thyself!
Elephant! You’re on the wrong side of the road!
Road signs …
It has been a long time since I’ve included funny road signs in my Jolly Monday, so let’s take a look at a few new ones …
Edinburgh’s streets are old, narrow and extremely crowded, especially near Waverley Railway Station where this photo was taken. This can make road-crossing treacherous for drivers and pedestrians alike. But what exactly is this sign getting at? Is it warning pedestrians to be vigilant, or telling drivers to aim for the tourist?Ya think???Seriously??? Somebody needs to go back to school!Seems like sound advice.Um … perhaps the sign painter had one too many?Whatever for???Well drat!
Anybody up for a couple of jokes this morning?
I’ve heard this joke before, but it never fails to make me chuckle …
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?”
Watson pondered for a minute.
“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.”
“Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.”
“Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.”
“Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.”
“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.”
“What does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”
A Policeman Is Interrogating 3 Men Who Are Training To Become Detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The first guy answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!” The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture I showed is his side profile.”
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The second guy smiles, flips his hair, and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”
The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it’s a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? He quickly adds, “Think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “the suspect wears contact lenses.”
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
“Well, that’s an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.” He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file on his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
“Wow! I can’t believe it. It’s TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”
“That’s easy,” the third guy replied.” He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.”
Who doesn’t love to watch those adorable koalas in action?
Well, friends, that’s about all the humour I can muster this morning, and besides, some of you have to get to work, and some of you have to rake the snow off your roofs so the roof doesn’t cave in! Hey Hugh … here’s a little something to keep you warm while shoveling …
Remember, folks, spring IS on its way! There will soon be flowers! Keep those gorgeous smiles on your face this week, and spread a few of them around … some people have lost their own and it would be nice if you gave them one! Have a safe and happy week! Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!