♫ If I Only Had A Brain ♫

Usually, if a song is stuck in my head, I play it here to exorcise it from my own mind and drop an earworm in your heads!  No … no thanks are necessary … it is my pleasure!  Tonight, as I was cooking supper (a casserole that was rather a disappointment), I found myself whistling (I sing only when I am at peace and content, other times I whistle) this song from The Wizard of Oz.  Now, to be sure, I had no thoughts of playing it here, but now it is midnight and the bloomin’ song is still stuck in my head, threatening to invade my sleep!  I am seriously considering watching the whole movie, as it is one I always enjoy, and I need a little break from “all things political”.

Now, you may wonder how this song came to be stuck in my head, as I haven’t heard it since … oh, probably the late 2000s.  Well, at least 13 times today I have done something so totally stupid that I had to stop, smack meself upside the head, and call meself a name.  I seem to have taken my stupid pill this morning!  No, I’m not going to tell you of my lunacy … I will only say that throwing away a perfectly good plate and silverware was the least of it.  No worries, I retrieved them from the trash quickly enough, and luckily Miss Goose was in the house when I locked myself out of it.  She kindly let me in.

This tune was used three times in the movie, once as If I Only Had a Heart, sung by the Tin Man (played by Jack Haley, who replaced Buddy Ebsen due to a makeup-induced illness).  The other rendition was If I Only Had the Nerve, sung by the Cowardly Lion (played by Bert Lahr).

If I Only Had A Brain
Ray Bolger

I could while away the hours
Conferrin’ with the flowers,
Consulting with the rain;
And my head I’d be a scratchin’
While my thoughts are busy hatchin’
If I only had a brain.

I’d unravel ev’ry riddle for my
Individdle
In trouble or in pain
With the thoughts that you’ll be thinkin’
You could be another Lincoln
If you only had a brain.

Oh, I, could tell you why
The oceans near the shore
I could think of things I’d never
Thunk before,
And then I’d sit down and think some more.

I would not be just a muffin’,
My head all full of stuffin’,
My heart all full of pain;
And perhaps I’d deserve you and be
Even worthy even you
If I only had a brain.

Songwriters: E Harburg / E.Y. Harburg / Harold Arlen
If I Only Had A Brain lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

48 thoughts on “♫ If I Only Had A Brain ♫

    • Gone by Monday? Seriously? Just make sure Boris Johnson does NOT replace her! Yes, I heard from another reader whose grandson loves it … I think it is one of a handful of timeless classics! Heck, I still love it!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Love this song and the movie. It doesn’t stir earworms to rise up for me. When I was young, I’d entertain my sisters and cousins by doing a cowardly lion imitation. They always loved it, but then, they were a young audience.

    Thanks for the smiles of memory (should we call that smemory?). Cheers

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This should definitely be Trump’s theme song, played each time as he appears at one of his rallies or for that matter, whenever he appears anywhere on the planet! Benjamin is a fan of “The Wizard of Oz” as his Mother, Auntie and Uncle were so many years ago. But, that is today and I must address your seemingly neglectful non-post of a song yesterday. I waited in vain for a song yesterday, I was all ready to chide you for what I was quite certain would be an oversight on your part. You never gave me a chance to do so and I pondered upon a possible reason for the better part of an hour. What I came up with are 4 possible, though questionable, theories. 1) Music failed to cross your mind. 2) You were too exhausted and distraught to put the necessary time and effort into a post. 3) You had undertaken a post, but there was too much material to search through to complete and post in a timely manner. Or 4) You were either unaware or uninspired to post a tribute to the Goddess of Pop on her 73rd birthday…poor Cher! I ask you : Is there much that could be said by myself about the ups and downs of a career that she refers to as “I’m like a bumper car.”, is there much that could have been said by yourself about the immensely talented actress and songstress, was this an opportunity lost? Yes, yes and yes! I mean, how can you not love someone who said in reaction to Trump’s election victory in 2016 : “It’s like there’s a death in the family.” Sigh! Thank-you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ellen, I want to challenge you to be proactive, and prepare special posts for Jill, including pertinent trivia, and music selections, for those days when you feel certain songs or people have to be honoured. Prepare them at least a week ahead of time so Jill can tell you if she sgrees to post them or not, or if she might have her own song in mind for such an occasion. As of now you have set her up for failure many times, and you seem to enjoy giving her shit. Jill is not a failure, nor does she have a list of the dates or events you consider important. She does not deserve to be covered in shit. Please be nice, and help her. I’m sure she would appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Your criticism is duly noted. While my comments are directed to Jill, I should be more aware of how they are perceived by other readers such as yourself. I feel quite sure that Jill takes them as they are meant to be taken…as jokes, albeit now seemingly ones in poor taste. Jill has never failed and I did not intend to imply that she had and she surely does not need my assistance. As to the excrement that you refer to, I am “Believe” that Jill is aware that the vast majority of the celebrities that I write about are not of utmost/any importance to me. They are intended as a way of diffusing the angst caused by the world that we live in these days, particularly here in the USA under Trump. My apologies if needed to Jill and to you for causing an emotional upset. Henceforth, I shall limit my comments to a thumbs up or thumbs down. Thank-you!

        Liked by 1 person

        • This was not my goal, you have a good memory, and your suggestions are appreciated. I would just like to see them come before the dates or events in question. How Jill feels I do not know, but I for myself now hear only the negativity. Jokes can only be sustained so long before they come to sound mean. Trump takes care of that all by himself. I hope you take this as meant, please help her out.

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        • Now Ellen … do not for one minute consider just commenting with a ‘thumb-up’ or a ‘thumb-down’! I would be broken-hearted if you did that! As I just told rawgod, I love the way you tease me about missing an opportunity for a certain song or artist and I would be so sad if you stopped! In fact, if you stop, then I might well stop posting music posts at all, for half the fun of them would be gone! You do NOT owe me or anybody an apology, and there was definitely no ’emotional upset’. Now, please, keep on being the Ellen we’ve come to know and love? ❤

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      • Now Jerry … I’ve never considered Ellen’s teasing to be anything but in the spirit of fun, and I am always amazed at her knowledge of all things related to music and musicians. I would LOVE for Ellen to write an occasional music post for me, for with her knowledge, it would no doubt be an improvement on my own hastily thrown together ones, but I have subtly hinted at it before, and she hasn’t taken the bait. I know you mean well, and I appreciate your concern, but really and truly, Ellen’s teasing is taken in the spirit of fun and frankly, I enjoy her “taking me to task” when a date passes unnoticed by me. I have fun with these music posts, they take me away from the dark rabbit hole for a bit, and Ellen makes them even ‘funner’. LuL

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        • No problem, Jill, I’m just expressing my reactions as a reader. And, yes, I have an ulterior motive, I want to hear Ellen’s approach in Ellen’s words. It’s obvious she would rather not show herself, but that doesn’t mean some of us would rather see her, being as she is the expert. I didn’t say all the time, hust sometimes…

          Liked by 1 person

    • Y’know … when I prepared this post with this song last night, I wasn’t even thinking about it as re Trump, but only as re my own idiosyncrasies yesterday. But a few people today immediately thought of Trump when they saw the song title, so you’re right … it could quite well be his theme song! It makes me happy to know that the movie still holds appeal for today’s generation … I think perhaps this is one of those timeless offerings!

      Now, as to my terrible oversight on Sunday night, the answer (or excuse) for my perfidy is both #2 and #4. I was exhausted, as I usually am these days, and I was not aware of it being Cher’s 73rd birthday. Even had I been aware, I was just too tired and probably would have had to wish her a belated “Happy Birthday” anyway. But, I’m not sure I would call it an opportunity lost, so much as one deferred, as I can and will make it up to her (and you)! Stay tuned, my dear friend!

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  3. If I only had no brain
    I’d not know Trump exists
    If I only had no heart
    I’d care not what he does
    If I only had no courage
    I’d also have no fear
    And I could go assassinate the prick
    Yes I could go assassinate the prick

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          • My voice is flatter than a watery pancake. A producer once told me he could make anyone sound good. After ten minutes in a sound booth he asked me to leave, and never come back. And he was a friend!

            Liked by 1 person

              • I’ve never gone out with a woman who could actually sing. I have tried karaoke with past girlfriends, but we get booed off the stage by the middle of the first line. That even with everyone boozed up.

                Liked by 1 person

                • After I responded earlier, I was folding laundry and remembered something I hadn’t thought about in years. When I was 6 or 7, my mother decided I should have piano lessons, and there was a lady down the street who taught piano, so I was taken to her house to learn to be a grand concert pianist. Now, remember, I was born partially deaf, so who thinks this was a good idea? Anyway … long story short, after two lessons, the lady told my mother never to bring me back, that it was a waste of her time, that I was tone-deaf and would never ever ever be able to play any instrument, let alone the piano. She said all of this in front of me, and I remember it to this day … I can even picture the lady! Secretly, though, I was relieved, for I could not hear the notes and it was stressful anyway.

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                  • But I bet it still hurt. Maybe not at the time, but later, when you wanted to be a Cher, or a Joni Mitchell, or Gracie Slick. Even Janis Joplin. What it must have been like to be Janis Joplin!
                    I know it killed me to not be Eric Burdon…

                    Liked by 1 person

                    • At the time, I was relieved because it was too stressful for my young psyche. I don’t recall it hurting later, either, for I’ve always found it funny, and never had any thoughts of being any sort of celebrity, for I’m too much of an introvert, I think. You, however, I can picture as Eric Burdon!

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                    • Actually, it would have to be George Harrison. I’ve been told many times, when I was young and lean, I could pass as his double. I never thought so, but I can’t see myself as other do, lol.

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                    • Do we ever see ourselves as others do? Or hear our own voices as others do, for that matter? I was on the phone the other day with a friend, he on his cell phone and me on mine, when suddenly there was an ‘echo’ … I was hearing my own words just slightly delayed after speaking them. And I was astounded! It was the voice of an old woman … gravelly and almost shaky. Surely that wasn’t my voice? But alas, it was.

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                    • Like listening to a tape of my own voice, no way that is me. But what you are hearing is tainted by your fear of getting old, a self-fulfilling fear. Ignore it. You still sound like you’re in your 20s, I bet.

                      Liked by 1 person

  4. Jill, my wife teases me for watching this each year. She does the same when I watch “Sound of Music.”

    As for the brain, heart and courage thing, you could make up a whole song about a very public figure, with each topic getting air time. As an aside, someone with real courage need not brag on having it – that is a sure sign of its absence. Keith

    Liked by 3 people

    • You have just won my heart!!! The Sound of Music is my ALL TIME FAVOURITE movie! I saw it 7 times the year it came out, and have watched it many times since. It still brings joy and tears! And, I will always love The Wizard of Oz. Per Ellen, young Benjamin (age 5) loves it too, so I’m happy to know it’s one of those timeless classics. And to your point … yes, that very public figure lacks all three attributes: a brain, a heart, and courage.

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        • Wow … the first, eh? My first is one that you sometimes reference, “South Pacific”. I was living with my aunt and she took me to see it. Isn’t it funny the things we remember. I remember being so puzzled at the song “I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair”, for I didn’t see a man in her hair. I’ve always taken things very literally, obviously. 😉

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      • Yes, yes!! The Sound of Music is my all time favorite as well!! Have seen it more than any other movie and love it each time!! Knew we were soul sisters. 🙂 And I do enjoy the Wizard of Oz as well! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        • Indeed! I told you a while back that we are soul sisters, along with our mutual friend Ellen. I have certainly seen it more times than any other movie … well, it might tie with “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “Miracle on 34th Street” 😉
          ♫ Doe, a deer, a female deer; ray a drop of golden sun; me a name I call myself … ♫

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    • Really??? Great!!! I love them all, too, my favourite being Somewhere Over The Rainbow. I think I played that one last year, in fact. It’s out of my head now … nothing in there tonight but static. 🙂

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