Good Monday morning, my friends, and welcome! Please overlook the messy house … with the air-conditioning out this weekend, I haven’t felt like doing much to the house. How was your weekend? I didn’t bake for you this morning, again because the house is hot and muggy, but Jolly dug up a few things, and we made sure to remember Benjamin’s donut with sprinkles and juice box! And rawgod’s tea. And even Larry’s bacon! So, grab a bite and let’s find some fun stuff to start our week off with a laugh or two, shall we?
Polite intruders …
Imagine waking up in the middle of the night to find a stranger cooking himself breakfast in your kitchen. It happened in Safety Harbour, Florida, about 15 miles from Tampa Bay. The residents of the house woke to the smell of breakfast, and when they went to the kitchen to investigate, there was a man, Gavin Crim, cooking himself a nice little breakfast. He was polite … told the owners to go on back to sleep, he’d clean up after himself.
Apparently, conscientious burglars were a bit of a thing in Florida last week: On Monday, a woman in Pensicola returned home to discover a man holding a purple Swiffer mop and attempting to clean up her house.
Shortly after 3:00 a.m., police responded to a call from a woman claiming a strange man was in the house. The woman, who requested anonymity, said she had barricaded herself in a back room.
When officers arrived, they found Tyler Matthew Smith still holding a Swiffer. Apparently Smith, 33, had already swept up glass he broke to get into the home into a dustpan. “It appeared Smith had attempted to clean up the mess,” reads the Pensacola Police Department report. Okay, well … I guess it pays to be polite if you’re in somebody else’s home, right?
Some pricey sneakers!
What did you pay for your last pair of sneakers? I’m a frugal person, and it nearly killed me to replace my old ones back in July 2018 … after all, I had only had them for 6 or 7 years, but they were holey and the sole had come loose on one, which meant I was in danger of falling flat on my face. But, when I found a new pair of Reeboks that I thought would meet my needs, I nearly had heart failure seeing the price tag of $48.19!!! I think the pair before that cost only around $29! I mean … it’s shoes, not a new computer!!! To add insult to injury, I’m not all that happy with them, but … they are going to have to last for the rest of my life at that price! Anyway …
Sotheby’s auction house and retailer Stadium Goods have paired up in an online auction of … the world’s rarest sneakers! Now, before you get all excited and think about owning a pair of these gems, check the status of your bank balance, and if it isn’t at least 5 digits, don’t bother. Take a gander at this one, for example …
This is the Nike Waffle Racing Flat Moon Shoe, a handmade running shoe designed by Nike co-founder Bill Bowerman, and one of only a few pair in existence. These are expected to fetch around $160,000 at auction. Pick your jaws up off the floor now. Or how about these …
They are the Nike SB Dunk Low with artwork by French painter Bernard Buffet. Um, okay, but if you bought those and paid say even a lowball $50,000 for them, could you really bring yourself to wear them out walking, or even to the grocery store?
Now these …
… are the once-fictional sneaker worn by Marty McFly in Back to the Future Part 2. Nike released only 26 pairs of the 2016 self-lacing version, the proceeds of which benefited the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research. Due to the power-lacing feature and extreme rarity, a size 11 pair up for auction is estimated to sell for up to $70,000. Self-lacing??? Who knew?
These are more to my liking …
The “Chanel x Pharrell x Adidas NMD Hu TR – 1-of-1 for Karl Lagerfeld” is said to be one of the most coveted models in the collection. It was released only at a special Chanel pop-up shop at Colette in Paris in extremely limited quantities, but this shoe is even more special. It features a modified design that replaces “Chanel” across the top of the right shoe with “Karl” and was given exclusively to Karl Lagerfeld as a gift from Pharrell. Sorry folks, but no, I am definitely not paying $50,000 for a pair of shoes to slog through the mud in!
As I say at least 10 times a week … Some people got more money than sense.
Cheers for Governor Sununu!
Wendy Auger of Rochester, New Hampshire, has had the same vanity license plate for some 15 years now. It reads “PB4WEGO”. Suddenly this year, Wendy got a ‘recall letter’ from the state’s Department of Motor Vehicles, asking her to turn in her plates for new ones. Why? Because apparently, after 15 years, somebody figured out what her license plate says and decided they “do not conform to legal requirements”. Why? Because the state says phrases related to “excretory acts” aren’t permitted. Oh for Pete’s Sake!!! Has the State of New Hampshire nothing better to worry about?“I’m not a political activist. But this is a non-offensive thing that I’ve had and it’s part of who we are as a family and who I am and there was zero reason for them to take it away.”
Well, Ms. Auger’s story somehow came to the attention of New Hampshire Governor Chris Sununu, who rallied to the cause! According to the governor …
“Upon this being brought to my attention, I reached out to the Division of Motor Vehicles and strongly urged them to allow Wendy to keep the license plate she has had for the last 15 years. I recently left a message on her phone to share the good news that her plate will not be recalled.”
What a nice governor … don’t you just wish all politicos were like that?
And speaking of license plates …
In Australia, starting this year, drivers can get license plates with emojis! 😄 😉 😎 😍 ☺️ Plates will still need three letters and two numbers, as the emojis will not be included in official registration numbers. However drivers can decorate them with one of five decorative emojis — “laugh out loud,” “wink,” “sunglasses,” “heart eyes” or “smile” — for up to AU$500 ($350).
I was looking for a few knock-knock jokes to knock you guys out with, but first … I came across this one …
Two country dudes are walking down a dirt path. One man has a big sack over his shoulder. The other man asks what’s in the sack.
The first man says, “I got me some chickens for dinner tonight.”
The other man asks how many chickens are in the sack.
“Well, I’ll tell you,” replies the first guy, “If you can guess how many chickens I got in this here sack, I’ll give them both to you.”
Or how ‘bout this one …
A blonde goes to the library to get a book. A few days later, she comes back and says to librarian at the counter, “This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so I would like to return it.”
The librarian says to her coworkers, “So here’s the person who took our phone book!”
Okay, okay: W. H. O.
Okay, okay … stop rolling your eyes!!! 🙄
And last, but not least, if it’s Jolly Monday, then there must be a cute animal video somewhere, mustn’t there? Now … where did I put that … JOLLY!!! Where’s that animal video you found last … oh … yeah … here it is …
Well, folks, it’s that time again … time to put on your workweek smiles and go do things to make other people happy so that they will give you money at the end of the week. I shall stay here and risk ulcers trolling the news of the day so that I can give YOU ulcers when you return home each night! Seriously, though, have a wonderful week, and remember to share those gorgeous smiles with others, okay? Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!