Whew … it’s been quite an onslaught of news these past few days, very little of it anything to cheer about. I think it’s time for a comic break, don’t you?
Betsy DeVos is well-deserving of being the center of a joke, and Andy Borowitz doesn’t dissapoint:
Betsy DeVos Says She Was Planning to Close All Schools Anyway
By Andy Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As an increasing number of schools and universities closed down because of the coronavirus outbreak, the Education Secretary, Betsy DeVos, revealed on Monday that she had been planning for years to close every school in the country anyway.
Speaking to reporters in Washington, DeVos said, “When I took over as Education Secretary, I came with a simple mission: to shut down all of the nation’s schools. It turns out that I was just ahead of my time.”
Noting that schools are where students learn math, science, and history, DeVos said, “I have long believed that schools are where all the bad things happen.”
Deciding to “wipe out the scourge of education once and for all,” DeVos said that, within days of taking office, she drew up an ambitious plan called No School Left Open.
In a reassuring message to the nation’s parents and students, DeVos said, “Amid the current crisis, many of you are wondering how we will close every American school overnight. Let me just say that this is the job Betsy DeVos was born to do.”
And who better than Stephen Colbert to inject a bit of levity into an otherwise humourless situation?
Remember, folks … no matter how dark things seem … we need to find balance. Let yourself find something to laugh about today in order to keep your sanity, okay?
Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa … and Jolly!