A Comic Break From The Darkness

Whew … it’s been quite an onslaught of news these past few days, very little of it anything to cheer about.  I think it’s time for a comic break, don’t you?

Betsy DeVos is well-deserving of being the center of a joke, and Andy Borowitz doesn’t dissapoint:

Betsy DeVos Says She Was Planning to Close All Schools Anyway

By Andy Borowitz


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As an increasing number of schools and universities closed down because of the coronavirus outbreak, the Education Secretary, Betsy DeVos, revealed on Monday that she had been planning for years to close every school in the country anyway.

Speaking to reporters in Washington, DeVos said, “When I took over as Education Secretary, I came with a simple mission: to shut down all of the nation’s schools. It turns out that I was just ahead of my time.”

Noting that schools are where students learn math, science, and history, DeVos said, “I have long believed that schools are where all the bad things happen.”

Deciding to “wipe out the scourge of education once and for all,” DeVos said that, within days of taking office, she drew up an ambitious plan called No School Left Open.

In a reassuring message to the nation’s parents and students, DeVos said, “Amid the current crisis, many of you are wondering how we will close every American school overnight. Let me just say that this is the job Betsy DeVos was born to do.”

And who better than Stephen Colbert to inject a bit of levity into an otherwise humourless situation?

Remember, folks … no matter how dark things seem … we need to find balance.  Let yourself find something to laugh about today in order to keep your sanity, okay?

jollyLove ‘n hugs from Filosofa … and Jolly!

27 thoughts on “A Comic Break From The Darkness

  1. Love love Colbert!
    And I hope this doesn’t offend or make anyone think I’m making light because I’m not and I’m in that older age group and I am concerned, but…here’s some more humor, which I think we need.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ours are closed starting Tuesday (WHY Tuesday???) for three weeks, at least. My daughter’s employees have told her they will not be at work, since they have children who will be home and no reliable daycare. Sigh.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. We are bucking the trend in Europe as our schools are remaining open. Apparently it’s the medical evidence. Actually it’s not. It’s the fact that our child care system has been wrecked and the NHS safe capacity has been squeezed by repeated Conservative governments. They system can’t cope with parents staying at home if they work in the NHS.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m not sure … I’m no expert … but I think that closing the schools here might cause more problems than it solves. But … time will tell. Sigh. No way to know for sure what is the right thing to do. My daughter is a nurse for a urology practice, and supervises a staff of about 25. So far around 1/3 of her staff have said they will not be at work for the next three weeks because their kids will be out of school. Sigh. Not like she doesn’t already work 12-hour days.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I think to ease pressure on the system they should ask those parents who can Home school for a period without effecting jobs to do so. Hopefully enough would do that which would allow schools and teachers to create more space between each person. Currently they are squeezed in like battery hens.

        But it is clear what the UK strategy is. It’s a high risk, untried one, based on limited knowledge of a new virus. It’s to get at least 60% of the population exposed to the virus. Keeping schools open allows them to target the healthy to get the virus. They can close schools down very temporarily to dampen cases when the hospitals fill up, then release again as capacity is freed. The idea is it builds up immunity in the population. Sounds good in theory but let’s be clear that means 48 million people getting sick. How many in the high risk groups are going to get caught up in this. Deliberate government policy. This is full on x-files.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Well, since the U.S. has no plan as best I can tell, but the UK strategy doesn’t sound very sensible, either. I hear rumblings about quarantines, closing all businesses as Spain has done and making people stay in their homes. I don’t think that’s a good answer, either. I don’t know what the answer is, but obviously neither do our “leaders”. Sigh. Yes, it does rather feel like the X-Files, but … where’s Mulder & Scully???

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Who wants an education anyway, those schools are all dens of iniquity.From now on Betsy De Vos will be arranging bible classes for them all with special attention paid to how old this world really is and how man and dinosaur lived happily together and as a special bonus how man was born exactly as e is and dedn’t come from an ape.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ah yes, we can sell those brick ‘n mortar schools and just send the kids to bible study, eh? Save the taxpayers a bundle, since the kids of the poor should never grow up to be scientists, lawyers, or world leaders anyway, right? Sigh. Ape? I thought I came from a wolf?

      Liked by 1 person

      • No No Dear, preferably the children of the poorwill be expected to die from malnutrition before they’re 20 and up to that point they’re only around to entertain their betters Try to remember it’s the wolves shall come from you.

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