Good Monday morning, my friends!  How was your weekend?  Mine was a bit more fun than usual this time, for we had a get-together with our friends Maha & Ali yesterday evening.  Today is daughter Chris’ birthday (the BIG 5-0, but I’m not supposed to tell you that!), and Tuesday is Maha’s birthday … about 5 years shy of 50 … so we decided to celebrate both on Sunday.  As always, time spent with them is precious and has been sorely lacking for the past seven months or so.  And now, it’s back to the grind with a cloudy Monday morning, so let’s grab a snack — Joyful started baking at midnight, and has turned out some awesome treats, but sorry bacon-lovers, no bacon today — and find something to start the week out right!

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👻 Since Hallowe’en is just 5 days away, I thought I’d make this week’s Jolly Monday post Hallowe’en-themed!  I found some fun things related to Hallowe’en that I think you’ll like.  Let’s start with a couple of Hallowe’en jokes.

Chiseling with Fear

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and
decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for
laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were
startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty
shadows.

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and
chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

“Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his
breath. “You scared us half to death — we thought you were a
ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?”

“My family are such fools!” the old man grumbled. “They misspelled my
name and here I have to correct it!”

A Bat Story

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.  Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.  He told them to knock it off and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.  “OK, follow me,” he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.  Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.  Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.  “Now, do you see that tree over there?” he asked.  “Yes, yes, yes!” the bats all screamed in a frenzy.  “Good,” said the first bat, “Because I DIDN’T!”

Halloween Groaner

A man was walking home alone one night when he heard a “BUMP….BUMP….BUMP…” behind him. Walking faster, he looked back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him….”BUMP…BUMP…BUMP…”

The man began to run toward his home, and the coffin boiunced  after him faster….faster…BUMPBUMPBUMP.

He ran up to his door, fumbled with his keys, opened the door, rushed in, and locked it behind him. The coffin crashed through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping BUMP…BUMP…BUMP… on the heals of the terrified man. The man rushed upstairs to the bathroom and locked himself in, heart pounding.

With a CRASH, the coffin broke down the door, coming slowly toward  him.  The man while screaming, reached for something, anything….all he can find was a box of cough drops which he hurled at the coffin…and suddenly “the coffin stops.”  ⚰️

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Okay, granted that last one was pretty bad, but I bet you at least grinned.  Now here are some riddles that are sure to make you groan and roll your eyes!

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? Ghoul-aid!!!

What is a Mummie’s favorite type of music? Wrap!!!!!

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? He didn’t have a haunting license.

Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.

Where did the goblin throw the football? Over the ghoul line.

Why is a ghost such a messy eater?  Because he is always a goblin.

What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire? A toasty ghosty.

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And you know we’ve got to have some ‘toons …

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I found this cool Halloween candy quiz … answers are below … see how many you can get.  I’ll give you a hint, I got 8 out of 28 … but then, I’m not very good at these things, so I’m betting you guys will do better!

1. A famous swashbuckling trio of old.
2. Indian burial grounds
3. Galaxy
4. What bees make
5. Round flotation device
6. Twin letters
7. Red Planet
8. Not laughing out loud
9. Can’t hold on to anything
10. A famous author
11. Famous former baseball player
12. Famous New York Street
13. A sweet sign of affection
14. A favorite day of working people
15. Nut happiness
16. Pleasantly plumb
17. Two female pronouns
18. A feline
19. Single women look for him
20. Sun explosion
21. Bite with a crunch noise
22. Dry cow
23. Children of the cane
24. A lottery amount
25. Lactic flops
26. Determines who wins the game
27. Home of movie stars
28. Superman’s favorite hangout

Answers …

1. Three Musketeers
2. Mounds
3. Milky Way
4. Bit O’Honey
5. Life Savers
6. M&Ms
7. Mars Bar
8. Snickers, Chuckles
9. Butterfingers
10. O’Henry
11. Babe Ruth
12. 5th Avenue
13. Candy Kiss
14. Pay Day
15. Almond Joy
16. Cunky
17. Hershey
18. Kit Kat
19. Goodbar, Millionaire, Sugar Daddy
20. Star Burst
21. Krackle, Crunch Bar
22. Milk Duds
23. Sugar Babies
24. $100,000 Bar
25. Milk Duds
26. Skor
27. Holywood
28. Clark Bar

What’s your favourite Hallowe’en candy, by the way?

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Check out these pooches in their Hallowe’en finery …

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And, as always, we must have a cute critter video.  Typically, I am not a fan of putting clothing on animals … unlike humans, their fur gives them a natural beauty that is not enhanced by human attempts to “dress them up”.  However, Hallowe’en is the exception, and these will definitely make you chuckle … I hope, anyway.

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And now, sadly, our Jolly Monday time has come to an end.  I have a birthday cake to bake, homemade spaghetti sauce to get started (the birthday dinner request), laundry to do, and a house to clean.  I hope you all have a wonderful week, and that you’ll share those beautiful smiles I see on your faces.  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa, Jolly and Joyful!