I seem to have a mental block today about anything pertaining to you-know-who and you-know-what, so instead I’ve written about a few somewhat humorous stories I came across as I trolled the news today.
Only in America
David Werking is a 42-year-old male, recently divorced, who moved in with his parents in Grand Haven, Michigan, after the divorce. Among his possessions was 12 full boxes of pornography plus two boxes of “sex toys” as well as over 1,600 pornographic DVDs and videotapes. Now, most parents wouldn’t take too kindly to him bringing such trash into their home. An occasional Playboy magazine is one thing, but all this … I would have done the same thing Mr. Werking’s parents did … destroyed it all.
Werking took umbrage, claimed his porn collection was worth some $25,000, and he decided to sue his parents. Nice way to repay them for all the did for him, both in his childhood, and letting him move back in after the divorce, eh?
Long story short, District Judge Paul Maloney ruled that the parents, Beth and Paul Werking, had no right to destroy their son’s personal property and ordered them to pay restitution. The only question remaining is the amount of restitution. While David Werking claims the porn was worth $25,000, a fair assessment is to be done by an expert from the Erotic Heritage Museum in Nevada (who knew there was such a thing???) The son’s attorney is asking for treble damages, or three times the amount of the value, once determined. Seriously??? Sheesh. Only in America.
Another government regulation abolished
You know how Trump has determinedly spent the last four years attempting to roll back any and all regulations and policies that were put into place during President Obama’s administration? These included environmental rules, drilling for oil on public lands, and even affordable healthcare. But this latest move on Wednesday will leave you speechless!
The Food and Drug Administration on Wednesday proposed scrapping its rules governing the makeup of … frozen cherry pies. GASP!!!
For decades, the FDA has set precise and detailed standards for all kinds of food products, spelling out, for example, the proportion of fruit that goes into a jam, mandating that gumbo must contain okra (unless it’s labeled “Creole-style”), and dictating that fajitas must contain no less than 15 percent meat.
Under the FDA’s dictate, there can be no artificial sweeteners in such a product. Actual fruit must make up at least a quarter of the pie’s weight. And no more than 15 percent of the cherries may be blemished.
But no more! The FDA wrote in its ruling …
“We tentatively conclude that the standards of identity and quality for frozen cherry pie are no longer necessary to promote honesty and fair dealing in the interest of consumers and revoking these standards will provide greater flexibility in the product’s manufacture, consistent with comparable, non-standardized foods available in the marketplace.”
Never mind that here in the U.S., upward of 3,000 human beings are dying each day from the coronavirus, and never mind that there are issues surrounding the two approved vaccines that the FDA might turn their attention to … for after all, cherry pie is much more consequential, right?
I’ll never buy another frozen cherry pie … oh wait … I’ve never bought a frozen cherry pie, or any other kind of frozen pie, in the first place. Whew! Luckily for me, I know how to make & bake pies from scratch, and I don’t use blemished cherries!!!
Lest you think all the craziness is on this side of the pond …
Imagine you’re a lorry (truck) driver, setting off for a long haul. You may be gone several days, so you pack a few sandwiches and put them in your cooler to eat on the road. One of them just happens to be a ham & cheese sandwich. Throw in a few bags of chips, some bottled water and soda pop, and you’re all set to go. You leave London, headed toward Paris with your load, but at the border you are stopped, your load checked, and border agents confiscate and destroy your ham & cheese sandwich, leaving you only the peanut butter & jelly ones!
New European Union regulations say that Lorry drivers will be banned from taking a ham and cheese sandwich or other meat and dairy products from the UK into the EU effective January 1st, even if it is just to eat while driving. The European commission says the restrictions are all part of maintaining a biosecure border.
“Personal goods containing meat, milk or their products brought into the EU continue to present a real threat to animal health throughout the union. It is known, for example, that dangerous pathogens that cause animal diseases such as foot-and-mouth disease and classical swine fever can reside in meat, milk or their products.”
Just what, I wonder, are the odds of people in France of Germany contracting foot-and-mouth disease because a truck driver entered their country while eating his ham & cheese sammie? .000000000001, I should think, in other words, nil. However, I suspect it’s more about punishing the UK for Brexit than from any logical health-related concern. They may have been taking lessons from Trump.