Jolly (COLD) Monday … I’m Tired Of Winter!

Yep, my friends, ol’ Monday has rolled back around again … already.  It’s blustery here, but we only have an inch or so of snow, whereas in other parts of the eastern half of the U.S., they have much more!  My friend Herb in the wilds of Pennsylvania tells me they are getting between 8-9 inches tonight, added to the 3 inches they already had.  It’s been a few years since we’ve had that kind of snow, but I remember it well.  I remember one year decades ago when we got some 20 inches the week of Christmas, and I didn’t yet have all my Christmas shopping done!  Luckily, the liquor store was within walking distance, so I was able to at least finish my shopping and stock up on supplies!  Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  I hope you all had a good weekend and are ready to face a new week head on!  My weekend?  C-c-cold. Since it is Monday, we should probably try to find some chuckles this morning and get this week started out on the right foot, yes?  Joyful wouldn’t let me come see what she was working on in the kitchen, but I see she’s loaded up the snack table, so let’s go see what treats she has for us, shall we?

food-eclairsfood-bfg

food-potato-leek-soupfood-homemade-bread

sprinkled-donut


Lawyer Jokes

I didn’t find any funny stories last night for our Jolly Monday, so I decided to start with a few jokes … lawyer/courtroom humour straight from Reader’s Digest …

SIX DUMB QUESTIONS REAL LAWYERS ASKED IN COURT

“How many times have you committed suicide?” “Were you alone or by yourself?” “Was it you or your brother who was killed?” “Without saying anything, tell the jury what you did next.” “Was that the same nose you broke as a child?” “Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?” From The Dumb Book (Reader’s Digest Books)

A LITTLE TOO LITERAL

If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer, you’ll need a degree. But as these court transcripts reveal, the question is, in what?

Attorney: “How was your first marriage terminated?”

Witness: “By death.”

Attorney: “And by whose death was it terminated?”

Witness: “Guess.”

*************

Attorney: “Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?”

Witness: “All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.”

ROLL CALL

I was in juvenile court, prosecuting a teen suspected of burglary, when the judge asked everyone to stand and state his or her name and role for the court reporter.

“Leah Rauch, deputy prosecutor,” I said.

“Linda Jones, probation officer.”

“Sam Clark, public defender.”

“John,” said the teen who was on trial. “I’m the one who stole the truck.”

PROTESTING TOO MUCH

Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm’s client denied the allegations. So when the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously.

“He’s lying!” he yelled. “There were only three of us.”

RUNNING THE SHOW

I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security. As part of my job, I explain court procedures to visitors. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. Court was in recess and only the clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the courtroom. “This is where the judge sits,” I began, pointing to the bench. “The lawyers sit at these tables. The court clerk sits over there. The court recorder, or stenographer, sits over here. Near the judge is the witness stand and over there is where the jury sits. As you can see,” I finished, “there are a lot of people involved in making this system work.”

At that point, the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, “Yeah, but I’m the one who makes it all happen.”


Luckily, our friend Phil over at Phil’s Phun had a good selection of ‘toons and memes to start our week out right!

toon-1toon-2toon-3toon-4toon-5toon-6toon-7toon-8toon-9toon-10toon-11toon-12

meme-1meme-2meme-3meme-4meme-5meme-6meme-7meme-8


I haven’t heard from our friend Hugh for a bit, so I’m thinking let’s send him something special …


We need an ‘Awwwww moment’, so take a look at these adorable pics …

cute-pic-1cute-pic-2cute-pic-3cute-pic-4


And of course we cannot end Jolly Monday without a cute animal video, now can we?  This one, at 8:38, is a wee bit longer than I usually post, but the monkeys are just so darned cute … I couldn’t resist!


Okay, folks, let’s get this really big shew on the road, as Ed Sullivan used to say!  Have a great week ahead, keep safe, wear your mask when in a public venue, keep warm, and share those beautiful smiles, please?  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa, Jolly, and Joyful!

41 thoughts on “Jolly (COLD) Monday … I’m Tired Of Winter!

    • I’m glad you enjoyed the ‘toons! The past several winters here have been very mild, but we’re paying for it this winter. We are expecting 10-12 inches starting tomorrow night and through Tuesday morning. Oh how I long for Spring!

      Liked by 1 person

          • While I live in New England, I was born and raised in Huntington, WV. We took many trips to the Cincinnati zoo. On a sad note, my dad always begged us to go to a Cincinnati Reds game. I could have cared less about baseball, I was interested in music and dancing. After I married my wonderful husband, I learned to love and appreciate baseball. There’s nothing better than baseball on the radio. I wish I could go back in time and go to a Reds game with my dad and see ‘Charlie Hustle’ Pete Rose. My cross to bear. Cincinnati is a beautiful city. Sorry for the long comment!

            Like

            • I never knew you were originally from West Virginia! I only moved to Cincinnati in the 1990s, after a divorce and a few years spent working for Honda just outside of Columbus, Ohio. Like you, I am not a sports fan, but … you take your life in your own hands here if you don’t love the Reds! 😉 I much prefer the zoo, the aquarium, and Kings Island! Did your dad ever take you to Kings Island?

              Never, ever apologize for a lengthy comment, my friend … I love getting to know my friends/readers better. And, by definition, as compared to some I get, yours wasn’t even long!

              Liked by 1 person

  1. Have to be a party-pooper again. Monkeys need to be with other monkeys, especially when they are babies. I have no idea of the circumstances that brought these little cuties to be living with humans, but I cried for every one of them. They were not being monkeys.
    I hate zoos, and the idea of zoos, but at least in zoos animals can pretend to be who they are. None of the beings I saw in the video were happy, not one. They were in solitary confinement, as far as I an concerned, not even getting yard time once a day to be with others of their own kind. Cruel and unusual punishment at its worst.
    Dressed up, wearing diapers, these are not natural. I cannot believe anyone watched this and didn’t get sick for the little folk.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sigh. The monkeys were rescues, else they wouldn’t be living with humans. Sorry to have depressed you, but I thought they were adorable and heartwarming. You know that I am an animal lover and would never post a video I considered to be showing cruelty to animals. This one wasn’t … these little guys were being loved and cared for.

      Like

  2. Thank you for sharing great laughter, Jill! I take this on early evening here. Lawyer jokes are always best. Lol
    What a cold and sunless Monday this was.I always thought in hell its warm and full of light. 😉 I hope you had a wonderful weekend, and beside the coldness a good beginning of this week. Michael

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m happy if I made you laugh, Michael! ‘Tis cold and sunless here, too, and supposed to get even colder, with high temps in the -0 (C) range all week. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. 🥶 Have a happy week, my friend!

      Like

  3. Jill, too funny on the lawyer and court occurrences. Can I add a couple of truisms recorded by attorneys about a person who shall not be named? The former president was made to recant 30 lies in a deposition by an attorney. The former president wanted to get a biographer to change the financial terms of one of his biographies before it was released and taped, without forewarning, a conversation with the biographer and his attorney. When the attorney learned they he were being taped, he said you know that is illegal, so we will just publish the book on the current terms. My favorite legal story is the former president settled a court case on a housing discrimination lawsuit, but had to be taken back to court, when he did not honor the deal. He lost again. Keith

    Liked by 3 people

      • Jill, there is another one that is not a court case. The former president tried to buy the property from a woman next to a casino he wanted to build in Atlantic City. She refused every overture, even during personal visits from the former president to hand her the new offer. Trump later filed bankruptcy on the casino and the woman took delight in that she was still there. Keith

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Well, you; ‘ve excelled yourselves today. Jolly has what looks like MY BFG ready, that’s fantastic. You lot keep your grubby paws off it. Very funny jokes, great ‘Toons’, and yes, I loved the baby monkeys too. Well Done!
    Cwtch

    Liked by 2 people

    • Why, thank you kind sir! We aim to please. And yes, Joyful baked that Black Forest Gateau, aka BFG, just for you! A rather belated birthday cake, I think! I’m glad you found humour here and hope the smile lasted for the entire day!
      Cwtch

      Liked by 1 person

    • I had always heard there was a Winnipeg connection to Readers’ Digest magazine, but today I found that was incorrect. The connection was actually to Virden, Manitoba a town just under 200 miles from Winnipeg. Close enough.
      The principal founder, DeWitt Wallace, was born in Minnesota. His wife was Lila Belle nee Acheson, born xmas day, 1889, in Virden. She was also a founder of the magazine, and probably the driving force behind it, at least in convincing her husband of a year to take the chance. Whoever convinced the other, the magazine was a huge success.
      Another publication that had direct birth ties to Winnipeg was the Harlequin Romance franchise. More about that another time.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks for the interesting info! I had no idea! It’s true what they say … behind every great man is a woman! I’ve read Reader’s Digest for years, but am happy to say I’ve never read a Harlequin Romance! Still, I’d be interested in the ties to Winnipeg and the history!

        Like

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