Snarky Legal Snippets …

I’m afraid I’m in a bit of a rant-y mode tonight.  I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be a judge and hear some of the garbage excuses people come up with for the evil they do, but … no way I could do that job!  I’d be leaping over the desk and bashing heads in!


They let one of the terrorists skate!  WHY???

Federal prosecutors have dropped the case against one Christopher M. Kelly, a New York man who participated in the attack on Congress and the Capitol on January 6th.  The charges were obstructing an official proceeding, aiding and abetting, violent entry and disorderly conduct, and unlawful entry to restricted buildings or grounds.  Additionally, the FBI says that Kelly used a Facebook account to inform “associates” that he had breached the Capitol and was inside the building. Two days before the attack, he told another Facebook user that he planned to be in Washington “with ex NYPD and some proud boys.”

U.S. Magistrate Judge Zia Faruqui agreed to dismiss the case against Kelly after prosecutors said in a court filing on Tuesday that they discussed the merits of the case with Kelly’s lawyer and decided that ending the prosecution “serves the interests of justice” based on “the facts currently known to the government.”  No further elaboration was forthcoming.

Now, I want to trust the government again now that we have a president and his cabinet whom I can once again trust.  But … I find this dismissal sans explanation to be highly questionable.  Twice, prosecutors have postponed preliminary hearings, saying there were ongoing plea deal negotiations taking place.  Then on the eve of the rescheduled court date on Wednesday, prosecutors announced that they would move to “dismiss the complaint without prejudice, and end this matter.”  Dismissing it without prejudice gives prosecutors an opportunity to refile charges at a later date, if they decide to do so.  And assuming that at that point they are able to find Mr. Kelly who, unless I miss my guess, will conveniently disappear.

On December 28th, prior to the attacks, Kelly posted on Facebook …

“‘When good men do nothing, evil triumphs. Evil, sin and sinful men must be opposed. God commands those who are good, not just to avoid evil but actively oppose it.’ Where will you be on 1/6?”

He considers himself a ‘good man’???  Sounds like a freak to me!  Read on …

On January 6th, once inside the Capitol, Kelly wrote on a group chat …

“We’re in!  Taking this back by force now, no more bs. Tear gas, police, stopped the hearing, they are all headed to the basement. Fuck these snakes. Out of OUR HOUSE!”

Christopher M. Kelly, January 6th, 2021

I don’t know about you, but to me these do not sound like the words of an innocent man who should be allowed his freedom without penalty!  It seems to me that at the very least, We the People whose freedom was damn near destroyed on that day deserve some explanation for the dismissal of this case.  Are there others who will just walk away without paying a price?  I want justice, I want every single person who entered the Capitol during that attack to spend time in prison!


Probation???  I think not!

Yesterday, prosecutors filed a sentencing memo in the conviction of Derek Chauvin, the former police officer who brutally murdered George Floyd, an unarmed Black man.  The prosecutors have asked for a 30-year sentence … one that I believe is entirely fair, given the fact that George Floyd’s death sentence at the hands of Chauvin’s knee is a life sentence.

Chauvin’s attorney, naturally, disagrees as I would expect him to.  I would expect him to try paring the sentence down to 5 years, 10 years, but Chauvin’s attorney, Eric Nelson, is asking for Chauvin to not serve a single day in prison, but rather to be given probation!  Say WHAT???  Says Nelson …

 “Mr. Chauvin’s offense is best described as an error made in good faith reliance his own experience as a police officer and the training he had received — not intentional commission of an illegal act.  A stringent probationary sentence with incarceration limited to time served would achieve the purposes of the sentence in this case.”

Bullshit!  For nearly ten minutes, Derek Chauvin kneeled on Mr. Floyd’s neck, listening to his gasps, his cries of “I can’t breathe”, heard him call out for his mother, watched him die.  Yes, Mr. Chauvin had a smirk on his face as he … WATCHED. HIM. DIE.  That is no “error in judgment”, that is murder.  No, probation is NOT good enough.  Chauvin is a murderer who killed Mr. Floyd because his skin was Black.  Period.  I sincerely hope the judge in the case sends him upriver for the full 30 years with no room for early release.


Stand Your Ground … against an iguana???

PJ Nilaja Patterson was arrested in Lake Worth, Florida last September on charges that he brutally beat and murdered an iguana.  The animal died as Palm Beach County Animal Care and Control was transporting it to be euthanized, so serious were its injuries.

Last week, Patterson’s attorneys filed a motion to dismiss the charge.  On what grounds, you might ask?  Florida’s ‘stand your ground’ law that states deadly force can be used if a person “reasonably believes that using or threatening to use such force is necessary to prevent imminent death or great bodily harm.”  Bullshit!  This is the same law that enabled George Zimmerman to skate free after brutally murdering a black teen, Trayvon Martin.  The iguana in this case was no more likely to kill Mr. Patterson than unarmed Trayvon Martin was to kill Zimmerman!

The story the lawyers tell is that their client was trying to save the iguana from getting run over by cars. When he brought it to safety, a crowd agitated the animal and it bit his right arm when he tried to move it, so he kicked it as far as he could kick.  Patterson’s attorneys said the animal was the first to engage in aggression, so Patterson had a right to defend himself …

“In this case, Patterson acted in a reasonable manner under all the circumstances because the wild iguana was first to engage with physical violence, during the encounter.”

Um, excuse me but an iguana is not versed in the ways of human laws, in what is ‘socially acceptable behaviour’.  The iguana was no doubt frightened and acted as any animal cornered will act.  Fortunately, Judge Jeffrey Gillen has better sense than Patterson or his attorneys and he rejected the motion last Friday.  Patterson will be back in court on July 30th. He faces up to five years in prison if convicted of animal cruelty.  I hope he serves every single day of those five years!


And to lighten the mood, just a couple of ‘toons …

22 thoughts on “Snarky Legal Snippets …

  1. The last toon pretty much says it all. There are two sides to every story. Suddenly belief (or shall we call it what it is, lieing) is as acceptable as fact. If you believe you are not committing a crime (every last Republican knew on Jan. 6 what they were doing was a crime) then you are not committing a crime. So, if I believe I am doing the world a favour by assassinating Trump, McConnel, McCarthy, Greene, and such, then I am not committing a crime, I am merely cleaning my house of unwanted pests.

    Liked by 1 person

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