Blog Etiquette — A Follow-Up

Earlier today I published a post about free speech and how it is so often being abused by those too rude or ignorant to treat people with a modicum of respect.  In response to my post, I had two rude comments from my old friend Scott (sklawlor), not unexpectedly.  Last week, I asked Scott to please do us both a favour and stop reading my blog.  I warned that if he continued, I would censor or ban his comments.  Well, he continued, and as I mulled over whether to completely ban him or simply send all his future comments to moderation, I noticed a comment from another reader, Professor Taboo, with a link to his post of December 2019 about “appropriate censorship of bigoted non-sensical comments here by indecent comments by indecent, childish Commenters”.  In his post, which I encourage each of you to read, the Prof suggests a list of nine “Rules of Conduct” for bloggers and commenters, and in his comment, he suggests that it would, at this point, be perfectly reasonable for me to censor the commenter who cannot control his rudeness, who cannot seem to speak intelligently and respectfully.

I have picked up a few haters from time to time, one who even threatened to find me and kill me, but never has one been as persistent as Scott.  At this time, I have decided to take Professor Taboo’s sage advice and moderate all comments from the person who has basically violated all nine rules of conduct!  As I am not a government entity, but merely a blogger, I am well within my rights to do so, just as Twitter was within its rights to ban the former guy and others.  If I followed the ‘three strikes’ rule, this person would have been censored long before now.

I will leave Scott’s comments from this morning alone, but future comments will not be welcomed nor published unless or until he learns that all-important word, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T”.  Thank you, Professor Taboo, for helping and advising!  And thank you, dear readers, for your patience as I have allowed this to go on for far too long.

44 thoughts on “Blog Etiquette — A Follow-Up

  1. Well, Jill, call me a mouse, a control freak, a hermit-whatever you will. BUT. I have always, in all the blogs I have hosted, had my comments go to moderation first. It’s akin to having a business and reserving the right to refuse service. These days humans, especially those in the US, feel ‘rights’ are for everything they want or feel inclined to do. Why, they are even pushing (and succeeding) with the right to kill based on opinion and prejudice. No, I don’t have a multitude of followers across my few social venues but then I don’t really want that. I wanted a place to share what matters to me and if I made friends along the way it was great. I am also limited on social media, keeping my account private except by invitation or request. Still I get nasty throwback comments to my seldom but emphatic statements on other posts that I feel strongly about. AND if I am replying in agreement with the gist of the post it is worse than rude for some rotting-brain troll to try and pick a fight. I never respond back. Block, Delete. When you accept that most of the people trying to goad, bait, insult or take you down will never change their point of view based upon such uncivil discourse, it should be easier to just block them. I mean, your posts present enough well researched and unbiased useful information that anyone using even a fraction of their reasoning ability would be able to make an educated decision without the banter. It is even more disheartening when I comment somewhere and get attacked because they don’t like my comment. But it doesn’t stop me, no. 👍🏻

    Liked by 1 person

    • No, I don’t blame you one bit, but with the number of comments I get in a day, I simply don’t have time to check each one before allowing it to print. Plus, I’ve been very luck and had only a few ‘haters’ in my entire 10 years of blogging, and it’s easy enough to simply have their comments sent either straight to ‘trash’, ‘spam’, or moderation. So, it’s not a huge problem. The reason I was so torn over the one I mention here is that Scott and I were once friends and I greatly respected him, but over the last year or so, he has changed.

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  2. The First Amendment provides that Congress make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting its free exercise. It protects freedom of speech, the press, assembly, and the right to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. << no where does the first amendment say that you are free to be an ass to anyone, that you are free to say anything you want to any citizen, no where does it state that you are free to spew hate, and no where does it state you can say what you want to anyone on the planet without consequence … also people need to understand… freedom of speech does not apply anywhere online, your favorite social media site may very well be based in the USA but is subject to international laws, not just US laws… also being that every social media site is a business/ corporation/company… they can set any rules and regulations they choose… they can legally control your speech , what you say, who you say it to and how you say… you agree to this when you sign up to use the platform… why do people not understand this ?

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          • if it’s any consolation, it’s not just the USA, that lack of human decency is becoming a thing of the past here in Canada as well 😦 I know there are more good decent people in both countries than there are those rude ignorant ones, so theres always hope, and as long as we have hope, we have a chance to turn this ugliness trend around, hang in there, we all can make it a better world for all xo

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            • You’re right, and I hear the same from friends in the UK and EU. However, it seems worse here, for it is rooted in racism and racial violence that dates back to the 17th century. Those of us with consciences do try to leave the world just a little bit better than when we came into it, but I’m never quite sure how much difference we are making. However, as you said, hang in there … if we give up, then all is lost. xx

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  3. Now he has to go somewhere else.
    You hung in there Jill, you tried to discuss and you gave fair warning.
    He was lucky he chose this blog, I know places on FB where he would have been shredded several times over, I mean really shredded.
    And only just now he wished you a Happy New Year too…..Guy’s too volatile for his cause.
    Keep on keeping you

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  4. Now I gotta go look. I used to like Scott. He was borderline when I first encountered him, but he seemed willing to listen. Then he became a MAGAt. I still think he is salvageable, but he has to want to be salvaged.

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      • It seems Scott has been radicalized by extremist right wing ideology, and is being a nasty troll on your blog. He’s venting his frustration with the world as he see it, and taking it out on you b/c you fail to see his POV and/ or understand/ agree with his position.
        Yes it shows a lack of maturity on his part, but i see why he’s doing it. He’s hoping to convert you and ultimately gain ur approval so you would finally say…. YES SCOTT, YOU ARE RIGHT!
        Consciously or unconsciously, that’s his motivation and why he’s lashing out. Psychology 101. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  5. There is a limit to what is acceptable and it’s your blog. I picked up a few Boris Fans who had a go. I also occasionally had a fan from Texas get stuck into me fur being a commie….. if they are civil then I might not delete them. Unfortunately that delete button was always far too attractive not to press.

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    • Sigh … I suppose Boris has a following, similar to Trump’s. If it’s just a reader, somebody I don’t know at all, then I don’t hesitate to delete them, but Scott was once a good friend and it hurts me to have to banish him, but his comments are the source of too much angst that I don’t need these days!

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  6. Jill, it is your blog, you have the right to determine who contributes to the conversation. If this was a real conversation in your own house, you would have the right to deny access to anyone who was ill mannered and unable to abide by rules of civility and decency.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Your tolerance up to this point has been admirable and the outcome of this latest offense is deserved. “Etiquette is behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely necessary.” – Will Cuppy (1884-1949) : humorist, author, and literary critic. WHAK!! Thank-you!

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    • Thank you, dear Ellen! I don’t feel happy about my decision, for I remember the days when we were friends who respected each other, but it was necessary. I don’t need the added stress of dealing with a hater. WHAK!!!

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  8. Pingback: Blog Etigutte — A Follow-up. | Ramblings of an Occupy Liberal

  9. I’ve often wondered about him and why he is so angry and confrontational about everything. Perhaps he needs some psychological help. It can’t be enjoyable to be that unhappy.
    You absolutely have done the right thing.
    People are entitled to their opinions, of course, but in the public eye, they should always be respectful, clear and mature.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I’ve wondered too … he wasn’t always like that and he & I were good friends (I thought) until the last year or two. My daughter Chris thinks he needs some psychological help, too, and perhaps the restrictions of the pandemic coupled with his blindness have given rise to some mental health issues … I just don’t know. I’m saddened by it all, but at this point, I’m tired of his constant barrage of lies and hateful rhetoric.

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  10. Jill, you are to be commended for the enormous amount of patience and offering the offensive Commenters multiple chances to CHANGE their indecent, immature behavior. I give you props and much applause Ma’am. 👏🏻 You’ve gone WAY BEYOND what normal, decent Americans (or Earthlings) would’ve done in the same situation.

    Because of your impeccable tolerance & patience—something that TRULY represents the American Spirit as our six Core Founding Fathers had intended it—with these miscreants, I humbly bow to you, tipping my top-hat in great admiration of your stoic demeanor Ma’am. Well done. VERY well done. ❤️

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    • Thank you, Professor! The thing is that I still feel badly about it because he was once a good friend, I had tremendous respect for him, and he was always respectful. The last year or two, all of that has changed and I can’t help wondering why. Still, I’ve had all I choose to take from him, so I appreciate your supportive words … as well as the tipping of your top hat! 🎩

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      • Yes, I too do NOT enjoy the quandary of having to treat a fellow human sternly, as less-than or abnormally as anyone else deserves. It does bother me; I feel significant degrees of genuine pity for them. Why? Simple: I’m human and I care, I have compassion.

        However, having worked in the Psych/A&D field for years as well as a several years as a licensed educator/teacher of Special Ed 4th thru 8th graders, one cannot afford any level of blatant insubordination, harassment/bullying, assault, or disruptions of the rehab-therapy or classroom… for obvious reasons to the Greater Good. All the others with appropriate or exemplary behavior and work ethics in no way deserve to be hindered or held back from THEIR aspirations of achievement and success! It’s the “One bad apple…” idiom and concept, right?

        In my very lengthy soccer/footballing career, self-consumed Prima-donnas were quickly disciplined, benched, or cut from the roster all together. Why? Very simple: you don’t win championships! Period.

        The whole is greater than the sum of its parts” as Aristotle once coined, and “the Team is only as good as its weakest player.” That’s a hard jagged pill to swallow, but who said or promised us that this life would be a cake walk? Hence, narcissistic, selfish, rude, Prima-donnas should be given no more than 2 or 3-strikes or you’re OUTTA HERE. No exceptions when the rules are clearly spelled out beforehand!

        But it still doesn’t make it easy, huh? 😉

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        • You hit the nail on the head when you said “I’m human and I care …” That defines the difference between people like us and some others who shall remain nameless for the moment.

          I was interested to see that you taught special ed! I had a son … he died a couple of years ago … who was severely disabled, never learned to walk or even feed himself … and I sat on the local school board for several years as a parent-advocate. I also worked in some of the special ed classrooms occasionally to get a better understanding. It was educational for me, to say the least.

          You have done much during your lifetime! Yes, team sports will quickly weed out those Prima-donnas who have a sense of superiority, or a sense of ‘self’ that is the antithesis of teamwork. Teamwork is what is lacking in our federal government today, but then … it is also lacking in our society, and the government is reflective of society, so how could it be otherwise? Now, we need to apply that “2-3 strikes and you’re outta here” logic to our representatives in Congress!

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          • Oh, I taught 5th- thru 8th-grade Spec Ed Social Studies and Science at a charter school in central Texas. Almost two-thirds of our student body were Spec Ed students. We were the 2nd of two campuses in the region for Wards of the State cases. Much of those poor kids came from horrible homes & backgrounds—drug dealers, felons, domestic violence, incapable grandparents, etc.—and our classroom averaged 16+ to 22+ students and with zero Spec Ed Aides to assist. Most of our students were Emotional-Behavioral cases, with a handful of disabled kids. Jill, I worked 6.5 days per week, literally from pre-dawn to post-dusk. 🥴

            Then came Gov. Rick Perry’s slash-n-burn $879-million cuts on state education in 2011.* This forced a mass exodus of Spec Ed teachers because this meant that 1) again, no Spec Ed Aides for us, 2) a workload increase of 35% because Perry’s slashes closed MANY Wards-of-the-State campuses statewide & we’d take-on those kids, 3) no teacher pay increases of the usual 3%, and 4) bigger classrooms averaging 24-28 students, again with no Aides.

            I was one of those lost educators. My medical health (primarily hyper-tension & high blood-pressure) suffered greatly in those last 2-yrs. I was forced to change my “lifestyle” or else end up in the ER pretty soon. Our Texas public schools haven’t faired any better since Greg Abbott took office. :/ Most of our thriving public schools are naturally in those wealthy demographic zip codes while the other LESS fortunate zip codes are collapsing due to the constant push for chartered and private schools, teaching a less-than broad curriculum and deemphasizing Social Studies and specific parts of Science. 😢

            I’m heart-broken about your son Jill. I’m very sorry. I can only imagine what you heard & witnessed on the School Board too. Yikes.

            —————

            * – Source: https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/fact-checker/post/rick-perrys-record-on-education-fact-checker-biography/2011/11/16/gIQAqn3CSN_blog.html

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