Saturday Surprise — Humour

I wracked my brain last night for something fun and humorous for Saturday Surprise, but perhaps because I was tired, nothing seemed to fit the bill.  I did, however, come across some things that might just bring about a chuckle or two!  First, a few stories I found on the Reader’s Digest website that made me chuckle …

  • At the doctor’s office, a 20-something man was trying to make an appointment for a Mrs. Brown. Try as he might, he just could not remember her first name. Frustrated, he left. A few minutes later, I passed him outside the office on the phone.“Hey, Dad,” he said. “What’s Mom’s first name?”

  • In his late 80s, my father-in-law went to the DMV to renew his driver’s license. At one point during the road test, he approached a four-way stop, looked to his left, and cruised straight through the stop sign. “Sir! You didn’t look to your right,” yelled the frightened inspector. My father-in-law calmly shook his head. “That’s Mum’s side.”

  • I was waiting at a small train station when a man put up a sign regarding my train: “30-Minute Delay.” “What happened?” I asked. “The train went off the rails,” he said. “How long will that take to fix?” “Quite a few hours.” “So why put up a sign saying it would take 30 minutes?” “It’s the only sign we have.”

  • A few of us were discussing the perils of drinking and driving when my five-year-old granddaughter threw in her two cents. “I can see why it would be dangerous to drink and drive,” she said. “The straw could go up your nose.”

  • When the box with my Halloween costume arrived, it was empty. I called the company and asked where my Maid Marian costume was. “We’re sorry, ma’am. We’ll send your costume tomorrow,” the representative said. “In the meantime, feel free to keep the Lady Godiva costume you got by mistake.”

  • We Uber drivers never know whom we’re going to end up with as a passenger. One day, I was driving over a new bridge, the design of which was very confusing. Completely confounded, I muttered, “I’d love to meet the genius who designed this mess.” With that, my passenger extended his hand in my direction and said, “Well, today is your lucky day. My name is Mike, I work for the county engineer’s office, and I’m the genius who designed this!” Surprisingly, he still gave me a tip.

  • I was admiring my aunt’s necklace when she surprised me by announcing, “I’m leaving it to you in my will.” I was overjoyed, perhaps too much. “Oh!” I shouted. “I’m looking forward to that!”

  • Turning to me with some urgency, my sleeping husband stated, “I have to do the cat’s taxes!”

  • A woman at our checkout counter didn’t have enough money to cover her purchase of toilet paper, so I paid the 96 cents. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m going to think of you every time I use this paper.”

  • I grew up above my father’s tavern. When we were kids, we would race each other down the stairs every morning to sweep up the bar and find the change customers had dropped during the night. Years later, as an adult, I found out that my father would throw a few coins over the bar for us to find in the morning. It cost him only a dollar a day to have us fight to be the first one to clean the bar.

  • My friend took her teenage daughter to a new doctor for a checkup. The nurse asked the usual questions, including if she had an STD. “No,” said the teen. “We have a Toyota.”

And a few work-related ‘toons …

Well, folks, that’s all I can come up with for today.  I hope you all have a good weekend.  Keep warm and safe!

26 thoughts on “Saturday Surprise — Humour

  1. Pingback: Saturday Surprise – Humor. | Ramblings of an Occupy Liberal

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  3. I walked downtown with my granddaughter one day (aged about 5) because it was such a nice day. She was peppy and looking at all the things she had never noticed looking through a car window. Once downtown we shopped at her favourite store, and I noticed her start to lag. “What”s wrong, I ask.” “Mommie tells me how tired she gets in this store, and now I get tired here too or Mommie yells at me to slow down. Can we go home now for a nap?” “Sure,” I agreed. I led her out the door and started walking home, but she would’t go with me. What’s wrong, honey?” I asked. She pointed behind us, “Mommies always parks the car that way! “

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      • The story actually came from a neighbour I once had, but it sounds better as a personal experience. The guy had no sense of humour, he told it straight, but I never forgot it. I actually did submit it to Reader’s Digest once, but I moved shortly after, and did not leave a forwarding address. No idea if they ever responded.

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