Alexandra Petri is a satirical columnist for The Washington Post. This week, she opines on the re-writing of history to suit the racists in Florida, led by none other than Governor DeSantis, and it is both appalling and yet at the same time humorous. Remember, this is tongue-in-cheek, satire … until it becomes reality.
Excerpts from a civics textbook I assume would be welcome in Florida
20 March 2023
“Rosa Parks showed courage. One day, she rode the bus. She was told to move to a different seat because of the color of her skin. She did not. She did what she believed was right.”
“Rosa Parks showed courage. One day, she rode the bus. She was told to move to a different seat. She did not. She did what she believed was right.”
— Two versions of a first-grade lesson from Studies Weekly, a publisher whose social studies curriculums are currently used in Florida elementary schools. Studies Weekly revised the lesson more than once, omitting any mention of racism or segregation, to submit for a state review of social studies materials.
American history is full of many heroes, whose accomplishments we will have no problem telling you about in the state of Florida! They fought for justice, which was brave of them, if a little redundant, because there was no specific injustice to fight against. Here are just a few of their stories!
Harriet Tubman is considered an inspiring figure by many because she made many trips on foot, often with other people. She specifically led trips from the South to the North, often at night. At night, you can see the stars! It is great to lead trips. She was a hero.
Frederick Douglass was famous, too! We celebrated him during the Trump administration for being someone “who’s done an amazing job” and whose contributions are still being “recognized more and more.” He also gave a noteworthy speech about the Fourth of July. Who doesn’t love the Fourth of July?
John Brown is regarded by some as a heroic figure. Famously, he went to what is now West Virginia (Wild and Wonderful!). He also grew a luxurious beard. Once, he was very excited to visit a weapons arsenal. We support West Virginia tourism!
Abraham Lincoln was a tall man who did something that was a very important thing to do, and especially at that time. He was president during the Civil War, which was fought from 1861 to 1865 between a group of people whom it was universally agreed would make wonderful, handsome statues and some other people who may have had reasons. He even made a proclamation, probably unnecessarily! He famously went to the same play as John Wilkes Booth, a very talented actor who also loved to exercise his Second Amendment rights! It is nice when actors support the Second Amendment. Too often, woke Hollywood doesn’t.
Elizabeth Cady Stanton and some of her friends went to Seneca Falls, N.Y., and had a conference there. At the conference, she talked about things related to ladies. Seneca Falls is a nice place to visit, especially in the summer!
Jonas Salk was a famous doctor. He invented a vaccine against polio, which was good because it made not being vaccinated against polio a choice, which it had not been before. Giving people choices is wonderful!
Rosa Parks was asked to move to a different seat, but she didn’t. People who sit are heroes! For instance, Thurgood Marshall famously sat on a bench. He was a hero, too.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg was born on March 15, 1933. She spent 71 years of her life on the planet at the same time as Ronald Reagan! This was a big achievement. She also famously sat on a bench. We love it when people sit!
The Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream and told people about it! King made some people upset, probably because it is annoying when people recount their dreams to you at length, but possibly for other reasons. He is no longer with us, but he is still celebrated today because his works provided so many out-of-context quotations for White people to use to explain why it is not important to fight racism any more. (Which was never important to do, because it did not exist.)
John Lewis was a hero! He famously marched across a bridge. This upset some people. People have strong feelings about infrastructure. Have you ever walked across a bridge? He was such a hero that they named a whole road after him and then some people wanted to rename a little piece of it after Donald Trump!
The Little Rock Nine went to school! Some people did not want them to go to school, and there were protests and guards were called in. It is sad: Even today, some people just don’t want other people to learn! They went anyway. It is good to go to school, where you can learn so much about history!
This hits home deeply for me Jill. Thank you for the great laugh, but as AnnieAsksYou aptly put… “…horrible reality.” Grrrrr, so true. 😞
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Yes, I agree with you and Annie. I think, sometimes, this sort of satire brings home the point better than our rants, though.
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As an on-the-fringe evangelical, here’s what I find especially remarkable: Most of these purveyors and consumers of this anti-truth history are my fellow evangelicals, who are called to cherish truth. The Bible they claim to love and follow (but few read), warned them of this phenomenon: “For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.” Far too often, in a weirdly comical and pitiful irony, white evangelicals are the very people their Bible warned them about. If they’d open their eyes for a minute, they’d realize that they’re the enemies of truth, rather than the champions they believe themselves to be.
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Yes, or of they would even actually read and ponder that book they claim they live by! But alas, instead they cherry pick it and interpret it to mean whatever they want it to mean for their own convenience. Sigh. I have long believed that religion itself is the cause of most problems in the world.
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Gilead approaches, slowly but surely.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Sadly, yes.
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Now that is classic satire. A supreme example, gold standard.
The triumph of the work being that the revised editions are still being ‘nice’ about these icons. That’s the one you really have to watch out for, the person who smiles, extends a hands and seems to talk so reasonably, a few very minor compliments which dilute the truth and make folk feel comfortable.
Kudos to Alexandra Petri
I am going to have to get her latest collection ‘Nothing Is Wrong Here And Why’
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Oh yes, Ms. Petri has a way with satire! She’s tackled many topics, always well, but with this one she knocked it out of the park. I wonder if any Republicans would understand it? Methinks maybe I’ll have to write a true “History of the DisUnited States” for the coming generations.
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There will be some Republicans who might thank her for ‘clarifying matters’. That’s the problem with good satire, folk who don’t get it think it’s not about them.
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So true … and some cannot recognize that it is satire, tongue-in-cheek, and take it as validation of their views. 🙄
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Yep it happens.
Tough on the performer or creator when the tv version becomes an iconic hero by the wrong people, the ones they are attacking
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This is so sad to edit history and take all the whys out of it
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BINGO Sadje! 🎯
When you amputate most or all of the opposing or uncomfortable confirmed & verified historical record, i.e. all viewpoints for the sake of high-level objectivity, then at least ONE consequence is diluted or weakened critical-thinking skills. Period! When I was an educator/teacher of Social Studies/History here in Texas, my motto and only a few other teachers was…
For the last 5-10 years in Texas, this is what has happened and is still happening (from my own blog, if I may Jill ❤️):
https://professortaboo.com/2021/07/11/texas-1836-project/
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You have hit the nail on the head, Prof! I’ve long said that we have stopped teaching young people HOW to think about things for themselves. We mold them into boxes, tell them what we want them to know or believe, and turn out automatons who can operate the machines, but don’t know how to exist outside their box.
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Exactly … and it makes it that much more likely that we will repeat the same mistakes again.
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Oh yes very true.
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Good satire; horrific reality.
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Indeed so, and it is the vision of what Ron DeSantis would attempt to impose on the nation if he were president. Could he succeed? I’m not sure.
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If he is elected President (sick) and if he succeeds in whitewashing history all over America (also sick) then msybe he can to to a play with a descendent of John Wilkes Booth’s Great Great Granddaughter.
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Well, that’s one possible solution!
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I don’t think so. He seems to be a failure in retail politics. That’s the good news. The bad news is that Trump seems to be solidifying support. We need them to destroy each other, but DeSantis appears to be no match for Trump.
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It is a sad statement about millions of people that the evidence of Trump’s criminality makes him even more popular. When he makes disgusting and denigrating comments about women, he gains popularity. When it is proven that he is a thief, a racist, and a conman, they flock to him. Seems they prefer a circus to integrity. As for DeSantis, you’re right … his racism gives him a boost among the white evangelicals, but not many others. He’s rather a dullard, and he shot himself in the foot when he referred to the devastating war in Ukraine as a “territorial dispute”.
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This isn’t my original assessment, but he seems to be the “id” that allows people to freely express their basest thoughts—and sometimes act them out. But I’m willing to see him become a martyr to them by his being indicted and convicted for as many crimes as possible.
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I’m with you on that!!!
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