‘Joyful’ Monday

Jollys girlfriend JoyfulGood morning, folks … c’mon in … please forgive the mess … the kitties decided to shred a couple of cardboard boxes last night, and I haven’t had a chance to vacuum yet.  I’m sad to tell you that Jolly is still not up to himself, but his girlfriend Joyful, to whom I introduced you back in October, has volunteered to fill in for him!  I couldn’t have done it without her!

Now, I let Joyful help me prepare the snacks for this morning, so I know you’ll all be nice and overlook a few … um … shall we say … burnt offerings.  (I made the coffee myself) Grab a snack and let’s get this week off to a happy start, shall we?

coffee            juice box               tea-2


This really happened in China last week.  A woman named Li had just withdrawn ¥2500, an amount of yen equal to about $371 USD from an ATM machine, and as she turned to leave, a man named Deng came up behind her, armed with a knife, and demanding she hand over the cash she had just received.  She did as told, but when he counted the cash, Deng apparently wasn’t satisfied and told her to go back into her account to withdraw more.  Apparently, Li had withdrawn all, or mostly all, of the funds she had, and when Deng saw the balance in her account, guess what he did?  He started laughing.  And then, he handed the money back to Li.  Now, we don’t know what was said because all we have is video footage, but I can imagine him saying, “Here, lady, you need this more than me!”

Deng surely must have known he was on candid camera, and that is how police caught up to him.  Almost makes you feel sorry for him, doesn’t it?


Now, imagine that you are house-sitting for a friend and you suddenly hear strange sounds coming from one of the bathrooms.  That is exactly what happened to a woman in Portland, Oregon.  Now, I have to ask, why does anybody need a ‘house-sitter’?  I can understand a pet-sitter, for pets need to be fed, groomed, pottied, and kept an eye on, but a house isn’t going anywhere, it doesn’t eat, it doesn’t poop!  Anyway, this woman was house-sitting, when she heard really odd noises coming out of the bathroom.  The door to the bathroom was closed, but she could see movement under the door, so she drew the conclusion that there was a thief in the bathroom.  And she did what anyone would do, right?  She called the cops!  (Note, here, that I am an aberration and likely would have opened the bloomin’ door, because … a), I’m not right bright, and b) why would a burglar be holed up in the bathroom???!)

Well, the cops show up in force, guns drawn, and burst into the bathroom … to find …criminal roombaYep, one of those Roomba thing-a-mah-doos that vacuums the floor by itself.  Apparently, this Roomba decided the floor had become dusty … now who in the heck vacuums the bathroom, anyway?  According to Sergeant Danny DiPietro …

“In 13 years, this is my first Roomba burglar.”


It’s been a while since I’ve done a piece with some funny road signs …

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Yo … Joyful … I’m struggling here … what do you have to share with our friends?

Jollys girlfriend Joyful

I gots some cartoons, ‘cuz Jolly tol’ me dey like cartoons.  Okay?

Okay, Joyful … take over for me … show us what you’ve got!

toon-1toon-2toon-3toon-4Those were great Joyful!  Thank you, honey!  Now go back and see to Jolly … here, take him a fresh cup of tea …

cuppa tea

Wait … I gots one more thing I liked, ‘k?  Lookie …cat-dog-meme.pngAwww … that’s so cute, Joyful!  Thank you!


Folks, I’ve got just one more thing for this morning … it’s a short one, but so funny it even made me laugh!


And that’s a wrap for this Monday, I’m afraid.  Without my Jolly … well … I’m just not very good at this on my own.  I hope you all have a wonderful week, and please, take a smile on your way out to share with somebody who might need one this week.  Love and Hugs from Filosofa, Jolly and Joyful!Monday-basket-smiles

Who Says It’s A … Jolly Monday?

Welcome friends!  I can’t believe it’s Monday again already!  At least it’s warm enough to be out without coats, hats, and gloves!  I’m so happy to see flowers starting to bloom and buds on the trees.  I haven’t seen a single bee yet, and that disturbs me a bit.  Plenty of ants, though!  Did you all have a wonderful weekend?

Grab a bite and a cuppa and let’s kick off this week with some fun, shall we?  Sorry rawgod, but I ran out of tea … have a juice box for today and I’ll get some tea before next week, I promise!


A lot of love … and patience

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw this one.  D.W. and Willie Williams just celebrated their wedding anniversary.  Their 82nd wedding anniversary!dw-willie-williams

D.W. (left) is 103 years of age, and Willie is a mere 100.  What a beautiful couple!  When asked the secret to the long success of their marriage, Willie answered …

“I don’t have a secret, just be nice to each other.”

Hmmm … sounds like excellent advice, don’t you think?  Congrats to D.W. and Willie!!!


Hee Haw …

Payton Dankworth is a high school student in Ballinger, Texas.  One day not long ago, she received a call from a friend who had been out riding (horses — it’s Texas, remember) and stumbled across a baby donkey.  The donkey was not well … malnourished and dehydrated.  The friend’s parents absolutely put their foot down and refused to keep the little donkey, so he asked Payton, knowing she had a soft heart.Jack-1

Jack-3Payton took the little guy in, bottle fed him and nursed him to health, and from that day forward, she was his momma!  She named him ‘Jack’, a fitting name for a donkey, although I likely would have named him Eeyore.Jack-2“He became really playful and now loves playing with my dogs. Right now he sleeps inside with me since he’s still so little and I give him a bottle about every two hours and then take him outside to use the bathroom. Jack also will not go to sleep unless my dog is with him. He will cry all night instead. I grew up showing steers and I’ve had my fair share of what you would call life on the farm. I don’t actually live on a farm but we do have property with other livestock animals on it.”

Since Jack came into her life, she has been inspired by his transformation to the point that she is now determined to look after animals for a living.Jack-4“Jack’s transformation has been the greatest thing ever to watch. It’s been so heart touching watching him thrive.  From watching him barely have enough strength to stand up to watching him run around and play with my dogs has been the greatest thing ever!”Jack-5There’s a saying that they grow them big in Texas … I think this young lady’s heart is proof enough of that!


Dance On, Wika!!!

Wirginia Szmyt, also known as DJ Wika, is eighty years old and still going strong.  She is Poland’s oldest DJ.  Donning yellow trousers, shiny platform shoes, red lipstick and headphones, she stands behind the decks, mixing party music in a huge Warsaw club.DJ-wika-2

“I don’t care if someone likes it or not that I am dancing or jumping behind the console, because I cannot play and stay still. When I play, I feel the melody, I feel the rhythm.”

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Every Monday night, she entertains about 1,000 people at the Hula Kula club, smashing stereotypes and empowering seniors as she plays everything from disco and rock to samba and ballads.

“I do not fit the stereotype of an elderly person. I don’t see a reason why my age should determine my life norms.  I used to work with young people and I kept this youthful outlook and youthful expectations … My message to youths is that your life does not end when you are 70. They would say ‘Miss Wika we are already 40, we are so old’. And I am twice as old as you and … I am not old, by no means.”

What an awesome outlook, don’t you think?


Here are a few humorous memes I happened across last week …

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And what would Jolly Monday be without a cute animal video?


jollyAnd on that note, I shall send you off to your Monday duties, hopefully with a bit of a smile on your face, one which I will no doubt relieve you of later today with my next post.  Sigh.  Have a great week, my friends, and remember to share your smiles & hugs … we all need a few extras these days!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!

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A Short Jolly Monday

Good morning, friends and welcome on this cold Monday morning!  You may want to keep your jackets on, for my furnace is not working and while I’ve tried to warm the place up with the oven, it is still quite chilly in here.  I brought down a few blankets for any who would like one.  Yes, I called the emergency maintenance number several times, starting at noon yesterday, but … well, I guess they had better things to do than come fix my furnace.  But enough of that … how was your weekend?

Since I’m in a bit of a funk this morning and feared my humour might turn out to be a bit macabre, I’m turning Jolly Monday over to … well Jolly!  Let’s see what he can come up with, shall we?  Snacks, coffee, and tea are on the table, so help yourselves!


jolly Hi everyone!  You like cartoons?  I like cartoons a lot.  I find some funny cartoons dis morning I think you’ll like, okay?

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Mutts-toon

ZiggyMonday


Look at dis cute li’l video I found with an owl lookin’ at hisself in da mirror …


Oh!  I know!  I heard a joke da other day … wanna hear it?

A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side.

A couple of minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re cute!” Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was “cute.” She asked, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”


I think I’m puttin’ you to sleep … wanna look at some really neat critters?Bush-ViperDis is a Bush Viper.  It lives up in the trees of the tropical forests of Africa, and does most of its hunting at night.  I think it’s cute, but kinda scary.

Giant-Isopod

Giant-Isopod-2.jpgThis one’s a Giant Isopod, one of the largest of the existing isopods. “The enormous size of the giant isopod is a result of a phenomenon known as deep sea gigantism. This is the tendency of deep sea crustaceans and other animals to grow to a much larger size than similar species in shallower waters.”  I would be scared of it, wouldn’t you?

These are named Glaucus Atlanticus, but they’re usually just called Blue Dragon.  I think that’s easier to say.  They are a species of blue sea slug. You could find it in warm waters of the oceans, as it floats on the surface because of a gas-filled sac in its stomach.  I think they’re pretty!

Goblin-sharkDon’t be a-scared!  It won’t hurt you.  It’s a Goblin Shark!  It’s really rare, and they sometimes call it the ‘Living Fossil’.  “… the only extant representative of the family Mitsukurinidae, a lineage some 125 million years old.”  Goblin sharks inhabit around the world at depths greater than 100 m (330 ft), with adults found deeper than juveniles. Given the depths at which it lives, the goblin shark poses no danger to humans.   See, I told ya it won’t hurt you!

Mantis-shrimpThis one is a Mantis Shrimp!  Also called the “sea locusts“, “prawn killers” and even “thumb splitters”, this is one of the most common predators in tropical and sub-tropical waters; little is known about them, however, because of how much time they spend hiding in their burrows.  Isn’t it beeeeeooootiful?

Panda-antHow can you not love this cute little Panda Ant?  This one will hurt you, though!  The Mutillidae are a family of more than 3,000 species of wasps (despite the names) whose wingless females resemble large, hairy ants. Found in Chile, they are known for their extremely painful stings, hence the common name cow killer or cow ant. Black and white specimens are sometimes known as panda ants due to their hair coloration resembling that of the Chinese giant panda.

red-lipped-batfishYou like dis Red-Lipped Batfish?  It looks like it has lipstick on, doesn’t it?  Found on the Galapagos Islands, this fish is actually a pretty bad swimmer, and uses its pectoral fins to walk on the bottom of the ocean.  I don’ think I wanna meet up with dis one!

Umbonia-SpinosaDis is the most interesting one, I think.  Umbonia Spinosa is its name.  These thorn bugs are related to cicadas, and use their beaks to pierce plant stems to feed upon their sap. Their strange appearance still poses many questions to scientists.  I think it’s pretty, but kinda scary, too.


Okay, Jolly … I think that’s about all we can do for this morning, don’t you?  Remember that cute baby animals video you found last night?  Let’s show ‘em that, shall we?


Sorry, folks, but Jolly and I seem to be a bit short on humour this morning, but I hope we at least brought you a small smile.  Perhaps by sharing that small smile, you can grow it into a bigger one, yes?  I do apologize and we will try to do better next Monday.  Have a great week, my friends, and keep safe.  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!

Jolly Monday Once Again!

Welcome, friends!  Did you notice what was in the front yard as you came in?  No?  Then come … you simply must see!  Yes, there … see them?  The crocuses are coming up!!!  It will be a while before we get blooms, but I am so happy to see their fresh green sprouts! crocus-sprouts.jpgSo, how was your weekend?  Mine?  Meh.  It was very cold this weekend, and I’m still not quite up to snuff these days, tire too easily, so while we went out for lunch and the bookstore, that was about enough for me.  I was ready to come back home and put on my warm, cozy sweats and thick book socks.  Daughter Chris’ band played in the St. Patrick’s Day parade downtown on Saturday, but Miss Goose and I stayed home where it was warm.  Apparently not many people did, though, for it was so crowded it took her over an hour to be able to make her way back to her car after the parade!

Chris' band.jpg

Chris, my li’l drummie girl, is 3rd from the right, front row

Well, since it is Monday, let’s make it a jolly one with a bit of humour, shall we?  Grab a snack and a cuppa.  I put extra tea out for you, rawgod, since you said somebody sipped yours last week.  And David … there’s BFG just for you!

 


Playing music for … cheese?

Say What???  This one doesn’t come from a satirical site, but you wouldn’t be blamed for thinking it did.

A team of Swiss researchers has been studying the effects of music on cheese.  Yes, you heard me right.  Nine wheels of Emmental cheese weighing 10 kilos (22 pounds) each were placed in separate wooden crates last September to test the impact of music on flavor and aroma.

One wheel was played Mozart 24/7, while another was subjected to Led Zeppelin, and yet another to some hip-hop group of whom I’ve never heard and don’t care if I never do!  One lone wheel was left in peace and quiet.

According to the researchers from Bern University …

“The most obvious differences were observed in strength of flavor, smell and taste. The hip hop sample topped the list of all cheese exposed to music in terms of fruitiness … [it] was the strongest of these in terms of smell and taste. The differences were very clear, in term of texture, taste, the appearance, there was really something very different.  All the energy is directly resonating inside of the cheese.”

cheese-3.jpgInteresting, but my question is … taste varies from person to person, so the cheese I might prefer might well (likely would) be the one that had Mozart playing in its … um … what does cheese have in lieu of ears?  Who comes up with these ideas, anyway!  And why?


Ghost or Gimmick?

ghostThe Habitat for Humanity Restore of Rowan County is a second-hand furniture store in North Carolina.  They recently acquired a queen canopy bed frame and highboy chest of drawers that the previous owners said were haunted.  Store Operations Director Elizabeth Brady says she felt obligated to advise potential customers of the possibility of a ghost or ghosts residing within, so she posted photos on Facebook, along with the disclaimer …haunted furniture sign.jpg

And suddenly there was a flurry of interest in the pieces, culminating in a sale for $1,000 just last week.  Now, perhaps I just have a suspicious nature, but I have a funny feeling it was an intentional tease to pique the public interest and have people vying to own these ‘haunted’ pieces, thereby raising the going price. haunted furniture.jpg


Turn some lights out, Bud!

I’ve had a few eye-opening electric bills in my time, but I think the highest ever was probably under $400.  I would love to have seen the look on poor Tommy Straub’s face when he opened his monthly bill from Con Edison in New York and found this …electric bill.jpgHis average bill is $74.  Tommy took it all in stride, however, tweeting …

“I own a 600 square foot apartment in Astoria. I do NOT own the entirety of Manhattan Island. THIS IS INSANE. FIX IT.”

I think I would have been on the phone to Con Ed, rather than on Twitter, but that seems to be where everybody heads when things go amiss!  Happily, the problem was quickly resolved with a phone call, but if I had been the one to get a bill like that, it would have been too late to resolve, for I would likely have suffered heart failure right then and there!


ATM mobbed?

Back in November in Houston, Texas, I think perhaps the men who loaded an ATM near Interstate 45 and Farm to Market Road 1960 in Harris County, may have been a bit hungover or somehow distracted.  Perhaps there was a pretty little filly trotting down the FM road?  Anyway, where they were supposed to place $20 bills, they instead placed $100 bills! atm-fight.jpgCustomers contacted Bank of America, to whom the machine belonged, when it was discovered that the machine was dispensing extra cash, but not before a few people grabbed the money and ran, and a few fights broke out!  No word yet on the amount of excess cash that was distributed, or on whether those found having taken the cash will be charged with some criminal offense.

Personally, I would have waited for the cops and turned the extra money over.  No, really, I would have!  I’m he one who drives back to the store and goes back in to tell the clerk she gave me 25 cents too much change!


Dragonlord the Pig … or CAT???

What would Jolly Monday be without a cute animal video?  I say I post these for the young set of readers, but in truth, I have a ball with them!  Last night, I was sitting watching animal videos to find just the right one for this post, and literally laughing!  I really think we ‘oldsters’ enjoy the animals as much as the youngsters, don’t you?  Dragonlord is a pig who, having been raised with house cats, thinks he is one of them.  Watch …


humour-1humour-2humour-4

 


jollyAnd now, folks, I am sorry to say that we must all get this show on the road.  I, of course, have laundry, bathrooms & a kitchen to clean, and a nap to take email to answer.  And you all … well, some of you anyway … have a job to go to so you can pay the electric bill next week.  I do so love seeing your beautiful smiles, and I hope you will share them with everyone you see this week!  Thank you for sharing part of your morning with me and Jolly!  Hugs ‘n love from Filosofa and Jolly!

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Mindless Slaughter 😿

Could somebody tell me, please, who put humans in charge of deciding which species belongs where, and how many should be allowed to live? Humans themselves have grossly overpopulated this planet to the point where in some areas, there are not sufficient resources such as water and food, to support the population.  But humans think it is their right to determine how many wolves or moose should be in a given area?  Why do humans always have to manipulate, to be in control?  Who the Sam Heck left humans in charge of this planet?  A planet, I might add, that they have done a lousy job of caring for.

Read the following sentence from an article in the Anchorage Daily News

“The ADF&G [Alaska Department of Fish and Game] is charged, by the Board of Game and the Alaska Legislature, to manage moose numbers in Unit 13 at the optimum harvest level for the hunting public.”

moose-hunterHumans believe it is their right to “manage” the number of moose to make certain there are plenty for those damned hunters to kill, come fall – or whenever hunting season is in Alaska!  But wait … it gets even better.

Somebody in Fish & Game, or in the legislature, thinks that when the moose population drops, it is a result of wolves and/or bears killing the moose.  They don’t know for sure, but they think so.  They have determined what is the ‘ideal’ number of wolves in one particular area of Alaska referred to as Unit 13, and that magic number is between 135 and 165.  This year, however, somebody determined that there are between 350 and 550 wolves in Unit 13, and they are concerned that the wolves will dine on the moose and … aw, golly gee, the hunters will be unable to kill moose!aerial-killing-wolvesSo … guess what they are doing to “manage” the number of wolves?  It’s called ‘aerial wolf hunting’, and it is exactly what it sounds like … killing wolves with high-powered rifles from airplanes.  For no reason other than that hunters want to be able to kill moose!  Back when Sarah Palin was Governor of Alaska, she encouraged aerial wolf hunting, and even offered cash incentives!

Congress passed the Federal Airborne Hunting Act of 1972, which made it illegal for hunters to shoot animals from a plane or helicopter.  However, once the Fish & Game guys determine there are “too many” wolves, then the government gives special permission for this mass slaughter. spirit wolfBut, here’s the catch … how do you know how many wolves there are?  Again, quoting from the article in the Anchorage Daily News

“In recent years, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game has been able to do population surveys and provide estimates that are a bit more reliable than those of the past. However, one needs to remember that although Unit 13 has boundaries, the wolves do not. [Emphasis added] Obviously real populations are difficult to accurately pin down.”

I’ve got news for these bloomin’ eejits … the wolves and moose were there long before humans were, and hopefully will still be there long after!  They co-existed in nature without any manipulation by humans! People are the interlopers here, folks, not the wolves and not the bears … people.

Now, if we wish to take this a step further, to extrapolate some data here … as I mentioned in the beginning, humans have already overpopulated the earth.  There are currently 7,558,988,647 humans on this planet as of the moment I am writing this, approximately 1:00 a.m.  You can check for yourself.  Go ahead … see how much it has increased since this writing.  It is estimated that by the end of the century, at current growth rates, there will be more than 11 billion humans on earth.  Such population cannot be maintained given the rapid depletion of non-renewable resources or given the degradation of the capacity of the environment to give support to the population.  (Makes the anti-abortion crowd look rather silly, doesn’t it?)

So, what do you think?  Humans have already proven that when it comes to making babies, they think more is better, so they aren’t likely to police themselves.  Personally, I think China had the right idea with their ‘one child’ policy.  But, given humans’ disdain for the lives of wolves, deer, and a host of other beautiful animals, what would you say to instituting a ‘predator management program’ similar to that in Alaska in order to thin the human population?

Now, before any of you start beating the keyboard sending me comments asking me if I’ve lost my marbles, yes, I am being facetious and no, I would not condone the random killing of humans simply to thin the pack.  But there are two points I am trying to make here:

  1. Humans do not have some superiority that gives them the right to kill animals for sport. They damn sure don’t have the right to decide how many of a certain species should be allowed to live in a specific area.  The critters were here long before we were, they are far more beautiful, and far more self-sufficient than we are.  Leave them alone!!!
  2. You’ve heard the expression about making sure your own house is clean before you go about criticizing somebody else’s? Same applies here.  We are doing a crap job of taking care of this planet.  We spew toxins into the air, water and ground as if they would simply dissipate.  They don’t.  We spray chemicals on our food … chemicals that then contaminate our water sources.  We are, whether the climate deniers would agree or not, destroying the only home we will ever have.  No, folks, there is no home for us on Mars, or Saturn or the moon.  Earth is it … and we are killing it.

I am appalled by the story about killing hundreds of wolves from airplanes just so there will be enough moose for hunters to kill and mount the heads over their fireplaces, bragging to their amigos.  Want to impress your friends?  Do something good like join Jimmy Carter in Habitat for Humanity and build houses for poor people.  Volunteer at your local homeless shelter.  That impresses me much more than the head of a moose who gave his life so you could brag.howling wolf.jpg

Is It Monday Yet?

Good Monday morning, my friends!  I’m so glad you could drop by this morning.  How was your weekend?  Mine?  It was fine … we went out for a bit on Saturday and it started pouring rain as soon as we walked out of the house, so after being drenched numerous times, we gave up and came home to the warm, dry, and furry house!

I must admit that I am anything but jolly this Monday morning, so please forgive me if the humour falls a bit flat.  No, no … nothing wrong … just too much of … well, you know what.  And perhaps a bit too much of this grey and gloomy winter.  But, good news lies ahead, for according to the forecast, it is supposed to top 70° on Thursday!  Perhaps if I can resume my daily walks, my humour will improve (not to mention the shape of my winter-worn body!).

Well, grab a donut and cup of coffee or tea (yes, rawgod, I remembered the tea this morning!), and let’s see if I can pull off a bit of a smile.  Oh … by the way … today is National Napping Day, so let’s all do our patriotic duty and catch a midday snooze, eh?

juice boxes                      fruit


The mayor is a …

I’ve written before about towns that have dogs, and even cats for mayors.  The first one I had ever heard of was Rabbit Hash, Kentucky where the first elected mayor in Rabbit Hash history was Goofy Borneman-Calhoun, who was inaugurated in 1998 for a four-year term.  Since that time, Rabbit Hash has never had a mayor that wasn’t a canine.

Goofy-mayor

Goofy Borneman-Calhoun

Then there was Stubbs, the feline mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska, for nearly 20 years until her death in 2017.StubbsBut I really think that the town of Fair Haven, Vermont, is the first in history to have elected a goat as mayor!  Yep, folks, you heard right … a g-o-a-t.Lincoln.jpegMeet Lincoln, the new mayor of Fair Haven!  With 13 votes, Lincoln eked out a victory over Sammie the dog, who received 10 votes.  Talk about voter apathy!  The town has approximately 2,500 residents, and only 23 of them bothered to vote?  Sheesh!

Well, people might laugh at a goat for mayor, but heck, we live in a nation that elected a jackass for president, so what else can be said?


The price of beauty …

Now, I don’t go to a hairdresser … I trim my fringes and ends, and that’s the extent of my ‘hairdressing’.  And we don’t take our kitties to the groomer … they get frequent brushings right here at home.  So, I am not familiar with what hairdressers and pet groomers charge, but apparently groomers charge more than hairdressers do.

People must frequently complain about their groomer’s charges and ask why they charge more than the hairdresser down the street.  Now, personally, if I were a groomer, my comeback would be, “Because we make your dog/cat look beautiful, but look what your hairdresser did to you!”  However, that would likely cause me to go out of business quickly, wouldn’t it?

One groomer in Copenhagen,  Laura Gedgaudaite , came up with her own witty solution, and placed this sign in the window of her shop …groomer-signHmmm … makes perfect sense, don’t you think?


Elephant!  Cover thyself!dressed-elephant

Elephant!  You’re on the wrong side of the road!

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Road signs …

It has been a long time since I’ve included funny road signs in my Jolly Monday, so let’s take a look at a few new ones …

sign-1Edinburgh’s streets are old, narrow and extremely crowded, especially near Waverley Railway Station where this photo was taken.  This can make road-crossing treacherous for drivers and pedestrians alike.  But what exactly is this sign getting at?  Is it warning pedestrians to be vigilant, or telling drivers to aim for the tourist?sign-2Ya think???sign-3Seriously???  Somebody needs to go back to school!sign-4Seems like sound advice.sign-5Um … perhaps the sign painter had one too many?sign-6.jpgWhatever for???sign-7Well drat!


Anybody up for a couple of jokes this morning?

I’ve heard this joke before, but it never fails to make me chuckle …

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute.

“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.”

“Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.”

“Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.”

“Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.”

“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.”

“What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”

And …

A Policeman Is Interrogating 3 Men Who Are Training To Become Detectives.

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The first guy answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!” The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture I showed is his side profile.”

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The second guy smiles, flips his hair, and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”

The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it’s a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him? He quickly adds, “Think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”

The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “the suspect wears contact lenses.”

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

“Well, that’s an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.” He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file on his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

“Wow! I can’t believe it. It’s TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”

“That’s easy,” the third guy replied.” He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.”


Who doesn’t love to watch those adorable koalas in action?


Well, friends, that’s about all the humour I can muster this morning, and besides, some of you have to get to work, and some of you have to rake the snow off your roofs so the roof doesn’t cave in!  Hey Hugh … here’s a little something to keep you warm while shoveling …

Monday-famous-grouse

jollyRemember, folks, spring IS on its way!  There will soon be flowers!  Keep those gorgeous smiles on your face this week, and spread a few of them around … some people have lost their own and it would be nice if you gave them one!  Have a safe and happy week!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!

truck-in-snow

Reset the counter?

Saturday Surprise — Izzy and Spiders!

Welcome to the WEEKEND!!!  I know you’re all excited to have a three-day wee … what’s that?  It’s not a three-day weekend?  Let me look at my calendar again … I could have sworn … oh … never mind.  Well, let me start over … I know you’re all excited to have two days off from work!  Yeah, kind of falls flat, doesn’t it?  Still … spring is nearly here, so that is definitely something to be thankful for, don’t you think?

I start this morning’s Saturday Surprise sharing a bit of a personal story.  You remember when I introduced you to the Significant Seven back in May of last year?   Since then the Sig-Seven have become the Sig-Six, for Orange died last summer, at the ripe (for a cat) old age of 19.  I mentioned that Isabella, Izzy for short, has serious issues, the most likely scenario being that she has the feline version of autism.  She comes out from under the sofa several times a day, but all it takes is a look or a word to send her scurrying back under.

The other day, I was at the store buying the usual 50-pound bag of kibble when I spotted a toy.  It was about 2-feet long, shaped like a wedge of cheese, with holes of varying sizes and two toy mice dangling from strings inside.  Now, our cats have two laundry baskets filled with toys, plus a kitty condo, kitty beds, and … well, they are spoiled.  But when I saw this toy, something just tapped me on the shoulder and said … Izzy will like this.  It was on sale, so long story short, we now have a cheese wedge in the living room floor along with a myriad of other “kitty things”.

But I was right!  Izzy does like it!  See for yourself …20190307_144857.jpg20190307_144908.jpg20190307_144912.jpgEven better, though … she actually let Miss Goose brush her, for the very first time ever!20190222_162702.jpgSo, perhaps she is beginning to get just a smidge braver?


I was doing my usual scan of news sources yesterday when I came across something in The Guardian that I thought would make a lovely Saturday surprise!  Now, I know some of you have an aversion to things that walk on eight legs, but these are truly so gorgeous, so different, that even you will be enchanted.  Well, all except perhaps the last one. blue-legged-tarantulaThis is the Blue-Legged Tarantula, only recently documented by arachnologists Ray Gabriel and Danniella Sherwood in the Journal of the British Tarantula Society (who knew there even was such a society?)  Isn’t he beautiful?  Malaysian naturalists, however, claim that they first photographed the spider in the wild and that the specimens were illegally removed from their habitat.  A fight over a spider!


peacock-parachute-spiderThis Peacock parachute spider is huge – about 20 centimeters or 8 inches in diameter! He gets his name from his purply-blue, metallic legs and his habit of jumping down from trees.  According to Matthew Robertson, senior keeper of invertebrates at ZSL London Zoo, this spider …

“Can deliver quite a painful bite as it parachutes on to the top of your head.”

Ummmm … maybe not, thank you anyway.  They are extremely rare and indigenous only to a small area in India.


peacock-jumping-spiderPeacock jumping spiders are extraordinarily colourful, with the additional draw – particularly compared with the peacock parachute spider – of being only a couple of millimetres long. According to the experts, jumping spiders behave much like dogs or cats.  Hmmmm …


 

mirror-sequined-spider

Mirror sequined spider

Robert Whyte, an Australian spider expert, first caught sight of this tiny spider when its sparkly abdomen caught the light like a disco ball. The silvery sheen is made of guanine, a digestive by-product. Says Mr. Whyte …

“Instead of excreting it all out into the environment through their poo, some of it excretes out onto the surface of the gut.”

Well, that’s rather … yuck … but it is a beautiful spider!


red-legged-golden-orb-weaver-spider

Red-legged golden-orb weaver spider

This spider – found in South Africa, Madagascar and elsewhere around the Indian Ocean – is not just four pairs of pretty legs. Like others in the Nephilinae subfamily, it is known for its webs of impressive structural stability, strong enough to entrap birds and even bats. The web also glows gold in the sun, hence the name.


wasp-spider.jpg

Wasp spider

This very large, very colourful spider resembles a wasp in order to protect itself from predators, although it is not dangerous itself. Its commitment to the aesthetic extends to its web, which has a wide, white zig-zag strip running down the middle for no clear functional purpose.


crab-spider

Crab spider

The crab spider isn’t quite as eclectic as some of the others, but I think it’s cute!  Instead of spinning a web, it conceals itself within flowers to ambush its prey, changing its appearance to match.  Clever little dude!  Rather like a chameleon.  According to Mr. Robertson …

“If they live on yellow flowers, they tend to be yellow. They sit there waiting for some poor unfortunate bee to come along, then they nab them. It’s quite grim.”

Ah, well … a spider’s got to eat, y’know.


desertas-wolf-spiderAnd last, but not least, we have the Deserta wolf spider!  These guys are a critically endangered species, and in 2016 a captive breeding program was set up at Bristol (UK, not Tennessee) Zoo with 25 individuals being captured and taken to the zoo, over 1000 spiderlings were produced in 2017 and it is hoped that some of these can be reintroduced to Desertas to boost populations.

And I also stumbled across an interesting tidbit positing that a fear of spiders is actually in our DNA …

Recent research has claimed that a fear of spiders is a survival trait written into our DNA. Dating back hundreds of thousands of years, the instinct to avoid arachnids developed as an evolutionary response to a dangerous threat, the academics suggest.

It could mean that arachnophobia, one of the most crippling of phobias, represents a finely tuned survival instinct. And it could date back to early human evolution in Africa, where spiders with very strong venom have existed millions of years ago.

Study leader Joshua New, of Columbia University in New York, said: ‘A number of spider species with potent, vertebrate specific venoms populated Africa long before hominoids and have co-existed there for tens of millions of years.

‘Humans were at perennial, unpredictable and significant risk of encountering highly venomous spiders in their ancestral environments.’


And on that note, I shall leave you to your weekend!  Keep safe and enjoy it, however you spend it!Weekend

It’s Another … Jolly Monday!

Good Jolly Morning, my friends!  Yes, it’s Monday, and yes, it’s cold and there’s snow on the ground, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be jolly, now does it?  And yes, I am so faking all this upbeat stuff, but hey … you guys have to go out there and do stuff, like go to work, shovel snow, feed the cows … and all I have to do is stay in where it’s (relatively) warm, wash a few loads of laundry, find 32 missing socks, and write this blog!  So, I have much to be thankful for, including great friends like all of you.  As usual, treats are over there on the table and once you’re settled, we’ll see if we can find a bit of humour to start this week out right.


Now, as we all know from our friend Hugh, Minnesota has been particularly hard hit with frigid, sub-zero temperatures and snow measured in feet, rather than inches.  So, of course the people in Jordan, Minnesota, were concerned when they saw this man standing outdoors, coatless, and holding a pillow. Mike-LindellNot quite sure of his mental condition under these circumstances, they were none too eager to get close, but after all, the temperature was -4° (F) or -20° (C), so they did the sensible thing and called the police.

From the Jordan PD Facebook page …

Jordan (MN) Police Department

***Call Of The Day – a little humor for everyone***

Jordan-MN-FacebookOfficers were called to check on the welfare of an adult male in one of our local neighborhoods standing motionless outside and near a home wearing no coat in the cold and hugging a pillow.

Upon arriving on-scene, Officers discovered the adult male in need of possible assistance was actually a cardboard cutout of MyPillow CEO and inventor Mike Lindell. Those cardboard cutouts sure can look real from a distance and the caller certainly was not wanting to get too close thinking who is this deranged person standing outside in the cold hugging a pillow; always better to call the police.

As for the lingering question:  WHY? … I have no answer.  Advertising gimmick? Or perhaps Mr. Lindell is a bit eccentric?


The waiters at the Enjoy Budapest Cafe can do it all – they can serve up food and drink, tell jokes, dance with the kids or just hang out for a chat with customers.  The cafe, opened by IT company E-Szoftverfejlesztő (don’t even think about asking me to say this word!) in the Hungarian capital, has a unique wait staff … they are all robots!robot-waiter.pngThe robot waiters follow fixed paths to deliver food and drink orders to customers, who are asked to keep out of the robots’ way.  Others serve up entertainment, such as Pepper, a “receptionist” robot that can hold a conversation and also dance with customers.

Developed by Japanese company Softbank, Pepper needed to be modified to be able to hear customers in the noisy environment of a cafe, owner Tibor Csizmadia says.  Despite fears that increasing automation and artificial intelligence will take away employment from humans, Enjoy Budapest Cafe’s robots aren’t putting anyone out of a job yet.

“We actually employ twice as many people as before, because to operate 16 to 20 robots from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. we need to have IT specialists in the background.”budapest-cafe.pngI’m not sure, though … how much should they be tipped, and in what currency?  A can of WD-40?


I stumbled across this commercial from the 2016 Super Bowl a few days ago, and I found it made me smile, so I thought you all might enjoy it too!


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funny-3


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And what would Jolly Monday be without a funny animal video?  I think it’s time for one with animals playing in the snow, don’t you?  Just watch …


Well, folks, it seems it’s been a short visit together, but I know you have lots to do this morning, so I will bid you adieu and start counting down the days until we can do this again next Monday!  Remember, please, to share those beautiful smiles you’re wearing, and have a safe and happy week!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and, of course, Jolly!

jolly

Who Knew Phil Was Republican?

Punxsutawney Phil Arrested For Fraud

Groundhog Phil(Punxsutawney, PA) Western Pennsylvania was in shock today, in addition to being snowbound, after news leaked that Punxsutawney Phil has been arrested for fraud. This follows a lengthy investigation during which it emerged that he deliberately predicted an early summer despite knowing winter was far from over in order to manipulate betting markets. He did not act alone, but in concert with criminal elements out of Ohio who placed huge long-odds wagers on an early summer prediction.

To his credit, local residents say Phil had resisted such pressures for years, carrying out his predictions in a faithful manner despite the promise of huge payoffs if he were to fix the result. Sadly it appears he finally gave in to temptation and deliberately predicted an early summer when he knew almost for a fact that bitterly cold temperatures would still be arriving well into April and beyond.

Those close to him say they were not so surprised to hear he would be indicted as he had been on the decline for some time. Rumors of meth addiction, so often the downfall of those who feel trapped in rural areas, abounded – and there was also a string of dysfunctional relationships with questionable types who appeared to be more attracted to Phil the celebrity instead of the friend they knew.

He also felt under immense pressure due to the rise of a new generation of meteorologically-gifted rodents such as Staten Island Chuck, and was utterly despondent to hear about the growing popularity of Balzac Billy (a.k.a. the Prairie Prognosticator) in Alberta, Canada, who is not even a groundhog, but a man in a costume.

He is expected to be formally arraigned tomorrow once it’s warmed up a bit.

Jolly Monday!!!

Good Monday morning, friends!  I bet you’re all glad to have that pesky weekend behind you and eagerly looking forward to the next five days, otherwise known as “the work week”, yes?  Hey!  Don’t throw that!  I was only joking!  Okay … so how was your weekend?  Do anything fun and exciting?  Yes, Hugh … I know what you did all weekend … shoveled snow!

Grab a bite and a cuppa and let’s find fun things with which to start our week, shall we?


Speaking of donuts …

gold-donutThis is the world’s most expensive donut.  Last week, a Florida doughnut shop celebrated its grand opening with a $100 donut containing 24-karat gold and Cristal champagne.

Bjorn Delacruz, pastry chef at Enter Through the Donut Shop, in Miami Beach, said the Gold Cristal Ube Donut is loaded with luxurious ingredients.

“It’s created from a base of ube, which is a sweet purple yam from the Philippines.  Within the ube mousse we suspend little bits of Cristal gelee, basically Jell-O shots made from Cristal. We cover it with Cristal icing. I airbrush it with some gold, and then I guild it with about with six to nine sheets of edible gold.”

The donut costs $100, or if you’re shopping for a bargain, you can get a dozen for $1,000.  Please do not buy me one, for I don’t eat anything that costs that much, and I don’t eat gold and I don’t like champagne!


Snow, snow, and still more coming …

I mentioned that poor Hugh has been snowed in for most of the winter, with record snowfall totals.  Look at some of the cool pictures I found of the snow in his state …snow-1These guys were having fun playing on the Ice on Lake Superior near Duluth, Minnesota in the wake of a blizzard that dumped a foot of snow in many places.

Some people used the snow as an opportunity to show off their creative talents …

I look at these pictures and can only be thankful for our relatively mild winter …

But the dogs don’t seem to be minding it too much …


A joyful reunion …

hugo.pngThe parrot’s name was Hugo, despite the fact that he was actually ‘she’, and she was found on a runway at the Dublin (Ireland) airport during a routine inspection.  The airport launched a social media appeal to reunite the African grey parrot with her owner, but four people came forward claiming she was theirs!  But only one, a man named Lubomir, claimed that the parrot speaks Slovak.

Airport management then had the idea of recording an audio clip of Lubomir talking to the parrot in his native tongue and sending it to the animal shelter in Kildare, where the bird was being kept.  When they played the recording for Hugo, she got so excited that it was obvious that was her daddy!

Hugo and Lubomir

The reunion


And speaking of parrots …

This one’s name is Rocco, and he was living in comfort at the National Animal Welfare Trust sanctuary in Berkshire, UK.  But Rocco had a bit of a problem with … um … his language.  Oh no … Rocco could speak quite well, plain as day, and that was the problem.  He was rather like my late brother-in-law John, who could not speak without using profanity!

Finally, as Rocco’s language was becoming a problem with the visitors, staff member Marion Wischnewski took Rocco home to live with her in Oxfordshire.  Well, at first it all seemed harmless and even rather cute that Rocco took up with Alexa, Marion’s Amazon smart-device that can be used for all manners of things.  Rocco would ask Alexa to play music or tell jokes, and that was all fine & dandy. Rocco-AlexaBut one day when she returned from work, Marion found that her Amazon shopping list was … hefty!  Turns out that Rocco had ordered strawberries, ice cream, and a kettle!  She canceled that order, and a few days later checked to find that Rocco apparently had a hankering for watermelon and raisins!  Over the next few days, Rocco tried to order broccoli and a light bulb, among a number of other things.  Marion has learned to check her Amazon account each day!


Tulips?  Or Turnips?tulipsYou’ve got to feel just a little bit sorry for Allan Harris of Hartford, Kentucky.  The guy’s heart was in the right place, but his hearing … maybe not so much.  A few days before Valentine’s Day earlier this month, he was trying to get an idea what his wife might like, when she (Nina) mentioned that she would like to have some tulips to plant in the yard this spring.  Easy enough, right?

But Mr. Harris somehow misunderstood and thought her heart’s desire was actually turnips, so …Valentines-turnips.jpgCute little container though.  According to Nina …

“When I got up, I had my first cup of coffee, and he said, ‘Oh, your turnips are here!’ And I said, ‘Turnips?!'”

And Allan says …

“I went and got the bucket and put the turnips in the bucket that says ‘I love you’ on it. I went in there, got her coffee — and here you go!”

You’ve really got to feel sorry for him, but maybe next time he’ll pay attention?  After that fiasco, Mr. Harris went back out, got the tulips, some candy & balloons to make up for what he calls his “boo-boo”.


Instead of an animal video today, I came across this and I think you will find some of these people truly amazing!


jollyWell, friends, I see gorgeous smiles on your faces and I hope they stay in place all week long!  I also hope you share them with others who aren’t wearing their own.  Keep warm, keep safe, and have a great week!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!!!