Today finds me with an overload of snarkiness and far more to do than time in which to do it, so I thought it a perfect day for some snarky snippets!

He found one!

Mark this day on your calendar, folks, for today, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, stood up for a moment from his never-ending boot-licking and denied one of Donald Trump’s conspiracy illusions!  Well … sort of, anyway.

“Normally I don’t like to comment on classified briefings. Let me say it this way: I think Chairman Gowdy’s initial assessment is accurate. I think — but we have some more digging to do. We’re waiting for some more document requests. We have some more documents to review. We still have some unanswered questions. But I have seen no evidence to the contrary of the initial assessment that Chairman Gowdy has made. But I want to make sure that we run every lead down and make sure we get final answers to these questions. I’ll leave it at that.”

In case you’ve forgotten what Representative Trey Gowdy said last week, he said that, “the FBI did exactly what my fellow citizens would want them to do” in investigating information alleging certain Trump campaign advisers had suspicious ties to Russia, “and that it has nothing to do with Donald Trump.”

Ryan also responded to a question about whether Trump would be able to pardon himself, the hot topic of the week, to which he said, “I don’t know the technical answer to that question. But I think obviously the answer is, he shouldn’t and no one is above the law.”

Seeing one of Trump’s sycophants turn, even so slightly, almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?  Of course, Ryan has nothing to lose, for he is not running for re-election in November, so one might question why it took him so long to find a cojone.

Throw the bum out!

You all remember the Brock Turner case, right?  Brock was the Stanford University student who, back in 2016 was convicted of three felonies for sexual assault and rape against an unconscious woman on campus.  Despite the seriousness of his crime, and despite three felony convictions, the judge gave Turner a slap on the wrist.  Though the minimum sentence was to have been two years, Judge Aaron Persky gave him a six-month sentence, of which he served only three months.  There was speculation at the time that perhaps some money had exchanged hands between Turner’s wealthy father and the good judge.

Well, yesterday, Judge Persky became the first judge to be recalled in California in more than 80 years!  He had four years left in his term, but voters decided they had enough of him.  A recall campaign began almost immediately after Persky handed down the sentence, and was able to garner enough signatures to put the matter on yesterday’s ballot.  I see this as a win, although I also understand the concerns of some who fear it will send a message to judges who will be more hesitant to grant leniency even where leniency would be appropriate.  Now if only they could find a way to stick Brock Turner back in jail for another year or two …

Like a sausage?

I like President Emmanuel Macron of France.  He is intelligent, charismatic, and has his heart in the right place.  I did not like the way he cozied up to Trump during his last visit here, but I don’t think that will be happening again any time soon!  Macron is none too happy with Trump over the ridiculous tariffs Trump imposed last week on nearly every one of our allies.  In fact, nobody except Trump and his sycophants are finding any joy.  But I do believe that one can safely assume the bromance is over when Macron compared his most recent phone call with Trump to sausages, saying it’s best not to know what’s inside.

“As Bismarck used to say, if we explained to people how sausages were made, it’s unlikely they’d keep eating them.”

It is said that the call was “terrible”.  I do hope somebody puts Trump in his place soon, before we have no friends left.

Trump’s new advisor?

We have seen just how little Trump listens to the few experienced advisors he actually has, preferring instead to listen to the likes of Sean Hannity over at FOX.  But I think he has found a new advisor, one who is similar in nature to his former favourite Hope Hicks, and also to Kellyanne.  Last week, after Trump got on his pardoning rocking horse and started issuing pardons to bigots and bimbos, he was paid a visit by one of those Kardashian people, asking him to commute the life sentence of one Alice Marie Johnson.

Now, if I requested an audience with Trump (which I would never do, for fear of contracting a fatal illness) to discuss, say, making student loans affordable, or protecting wildlife and the environment, I would be laughed off the continent.  But let some entertainer who has acquired wealth not by use of any brain cells, but rather by the shape of his/her body ask for an audience, and the door is always open.

Bottom line is that today, at the behest of the Kardashian person, Trump commuted the life sentence of Ms. Johnson.  I make no judgement as to whether she should have remained in prison or not, for I haven’t time to delve into the details – some of us use our heads for more important matters.  But the point is that Trump did exactly what he was asked by this Kardashian person, whereas he does not take the advice of people with brains who have decades of experience.  If General Mattis had asked him to pardon Ms. Johnson, she would still be sitting in her cell.  It is said that Trump is considering many more pardons … I wonder if the Kardashian people will provide him a list?

I wonder if there is a way to use this knowledge to the advantage of the nation?  Perhaps a Kardashian person could be planted to convince Trump to fire Scott Pruitt?

Oh … and by the way … Melania Trump seems to have been found, if anybody cared.

And thus ends my Snarky Snippets for today.  I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.