Happy National Honesty Day!

I began getting a daily email of the “National Day” events a few months ago, for our friend Ellen occasionally teased me for not knowing that it was a certain “National Day” on the calendar. It has become a nightly ritual for me to read off the many national days on a nightly basis, to my girls, and we have a bit of fun over such things as National Hug-a-Plumber Day, National Shrimp Scampi Day, etc.  However, as I was reading off the National Days last night, one in particular caught my eye.  I pondered, and daughter Chris said she could smell the wheels turning (a bit of rust … the wheels need to be oiled).

National Honesty Day is celebrated on April 30 in the United States to encourage honesty and straightforward communication in politics, relationships, consumer relations and historical education. It was invented by M. Hirsh Goldberg, who chose the last day of April for two reasons. First, since the first day of that month, which is April Fools’ Day, celebrates falsehoods. Second, it is the anniversary of the First inauguration of George Washington on April 30, 1789.

Trump-pinocchioBy now, I’m sure you know where my mind is headed, yes?  Interestingly, this month, according to The Washington Post Fact Checker, Trump logged his 10,000th lie since taking office!  I debated writing a little made-up conversation with Trump in which I asked questions and he answered honestly, since it is Honesty Day, but even when I allowed my creativity to flow freely, I simply could not imagine him telling the truth.  So, instead I thought I’d feature a few ‘toons related to the subject.  But first, a bit of related trivia I came across:

  • According to Times Dispatch, a recent Gallup poll found that nurses are the most honest people. In contrast, lobbyists, salesmen, and members of Congress are supposedly the least honest people. (This was from 2012, in the ‘pre-Trump era.)

  • Book-of-LiesAccording to Goldberg’s book The Book of Lies: Fibs, Tales, Schemes, Scams, Fakes, and Frauds That Have Changed The Course of History and Affect Our Daily Lives, the average person lies about 200 times a day with lies including omission and white lies.  (Seriously???)

  • According to a poll conducted by London’s Science Museum upon 3,000 British citizens, the average British man tells three lies a day, while the average woman tells two lies a day. The average lie for a man is “I didn’t drink that much!” and for a woman it is “Nothings wrong, I’m fine”. Also according to the poll, people are more than likely to lie to their mothers.

Trump-lie-1trump-lie-2Trump-lie-3Ed Wexler / Cagle CartoonsBruce Plante Cartoon: Trump's "Best People"Donald Trump lies

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And my own personal favourite …

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Chuckles …

Good afternoon, folks.  I have been bouncing about the ‘net for a bit, while waiting for the .pdf version of the Mueller report, and I thought this might be a good time to enjoy a bit of humour.  So, let’s take a bit of a break from the news to see how those talented cartoonists are viewing the events of the week, shall we?

The fire on Monday that destroyed parts of the historic Notre Dame Cathedral is certainly nothing to joke about, but I came across a few cartoons that I thought tastefully paid homage to the great landmark …

Bruce Plante Cartoon: The Easter LilyNotre-Dame-2Notre-Dame-3

Last week, Trump threatened to relocate immigrants to sanctuary cities, specifically in Speaker of the House Pelosi’s district, as a retaliatory measure for failure to provide funding for his border wall.  Thus far, he has been stopped from doing so by slightly cooler heads who question both the cost and illegality of such a childish measure …

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Those who follow sports celebrated Tiger Woods’ comeback moment last week …

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Monday was the deadline to submit your taxes to the IRS.  Remember that little box on the first page …

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Many of us see that the entire system of checks and balances, of democracy, indeed the Constitution itself, is being eroded under the current administration, and the ‘toonists haven’t let that one slide …

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And, of course, the main topic on the minds of us all this week is the release of the Mueller report and Attorney General Barr’s boot-licking antics surrounding the release …

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Last but not least, scientists have taken a picture of a black hole.  Not being a science-minded person, I didn’t get as excited about this news as some, though if we could find a way to toss our current administration into that black hole, I might manage a bit of joy …

Trump-black-holeanti-vaxxer

And that’s a wrap for today, my friends!

‘Joyful’ Monday

Jollys girlfriend JoyfulGood morning, folks … c’mon in … please forgive the mess … the kitties decided to shred a couple of cardboard boxes last night, and I haven’t had a chance to vacuum yet.  I’m sad to tell you that Jolly is still not up to himself, but his girlfriend Joyful, to whom I introduced you back in October, has volunteered to fill in for him!  I couldn’t have done it without her!

Now, I let Joyful help me prepare the snacks for this morning, so I know you’ll all be nice and overlook a few … um … shall we say … burnt offerings.  (I made the coffee myself) Grab a snack and let’s get this week off to a happy start, shall we?

coffee            juice box               tea-2


This really happened in China last week.  A woman named Li had just withdrawn ¥2500, an amount of yen equal to about $371 USD from an ATM machine, and as she turned to leave, a man named Deng came up behind her, armed with a knife, and demanding she hand over the cash she had just received.  She did as told, but when he counted the cash, Deng apparently wasn’t satisfied and told her to go back into her account to withdraw more.  Apparently, Li had withdrawn all, or mostly all, of the funds she had, and when Deng saw the balance in her account, guess what he did?  He started laughing.  And then, he handed the money back to Li.  Now, we don’t know what was said because all we have is video footage, but I can imagine him saying, “Here, lady, you need this more than me!”

Deng surely must have known he was on candid camera, and that is how police caught up to him.  Almost makes you feel sorry for him, doesn’t it?


Now, imagine that you are house-sitting for a friend and you suddenly hear strange sounds coming from one of the bathrooms.  That is exactly what happened to a woman in Portland, Oregon.  Now, I have to ask, why does anybody need a ‘house-sitter’?  I can understand a pet-sitter, for pets need to be fed, groomed, pottied, and kept an eye on, but a house isn’t going anywhere, it doesn’t eat, it doesn’t poop!  Anyway, this woman was house-sitting, when she heard really odd noises coming out of the bathroom.  The door to the bathroom was closed, but she could see movement under the door, so she drew the conclusion that there was a thief in the bathroom.  And she did what anyone would do, right?  She called the cops!  (Note, here, that I am an aberration and likely would have opened the bloomin’ door, because … a), I’m not right bright, and b) why would a burglar be holed up in the bathroom???!)

Well, the cops show up in force, guns drawn, and burst into the bathroom … to find …criminal roombaYep, one of those Roomba thing-a-mah-doos that vacuums the floor by itself.  Apparently, this Roomba decided the floor had become dusty … now who in the heck vacuums the bathroom, anyway?  According to Sergeant Danny DiPietro …

“In 13 years, this is my first Roomba burglar.”


It’s been a while since I’ve done a piece with some funny road signs …

road-1                       road-2road-3road-4road-5road-6road-7road-8

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Yo … Joyful … I’m struggling here … what do you have to share with our friends?

Jollys girlfriend Joyful

I gots some cartoons, ‘cuz Jolly tol’ me dey like cartoons.  Okay?

Okay, Joyful … take over for me … show us what you’ve got!

toon-1toon-2toon-3toon-4Those were great Joyful!  Thank you, honey!  Now go back and see to Jolly … here, take him a fresh cup of tea …

cuppa tea

Wait … I gots one more thing I liked, ‘k?  Lookie …cat-dog-meme.pngAwww … that’s so cute, Joyful!  Thank you!


Folks, I’ve got just one more thing for this morning … it’s a short one, but so funny it even made me laugh!


And that’s a wrap for this Monday, I’m afraid.  Without my Jolly … well … I’m just not very good at this on my own.  I hope you all have a wonderful week, and please, take a smile on your way out to share with somebody who might need one this week.  Love and Hugs from Filosofa, Jolly and Joyful!Monday-basket-smiles

‘Toons To Make You Laugh (Or Cry)

I think it’s time for another batch of toons, don’t you?

The two biggest topics in ‘Toonland’ this week are ones I refuse to touch, so let’s start with the third biggest.  Recently the Idiot-in-Chief declared that wind turbines, or rather the noise from them, cause cancer.  This notion came from the cavernous depths inside his rather spongy head, but it made for some good humour at his expense.

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And of course one of the big topics remains, as it has been for over two years now, immigration, or rather Trump’s use of immigration as a fear-mongering tactic.

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On a related note, there was his demand for Kirstjen Nielsen’s resignation because, although she was a cruel and heartless b**ch, she was not quite cruel and heartless enough to suit the ‘man’ without a conscience.

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Let us not forget about his determination to squash ‘Obamacare’ and replace it with … the grim reaper.

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And beyond all of that, it’s pretty much the usual chaos and insanity that define the reign of Donald Trump.

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Have a great weekend, folks!  Wha … WHAT???  It’s not the weekend yet?  It’s only Wednesday?

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Who Says It’s A … Jolly Monday?

Welcome friends!  I can’t believe it’s Monday again already!  At least it’s warm enough to be out without coats, hats, and gloves!  I’m so happy to see flowers starting to bloom and buds on the trees.  I haven’t seen a single bee yet, and that disturbs me a bit.  Plenty of ants, though!  Did you all have a wonderful weekend?

Grab a bite and a cuppa and let’s kick off this week with some fun, shall we?  Sorry rawgod, but I ran out of tea … have a juice box for today and I’ll get some tea before next week, I promise!


A lot of love … and patience

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw this one.  D.W. and Willie Williams just celebrated their wedding anniversary.  Their 82nd wedding anniversary!dw-willie-williams

D.W. (left) is 103 years of age, and Willie is a mere 100.  What a beautiful couple!  When asked the secret to the long success of their marriage, Willie answered …

“I don’t have a secret, just be nice to each other.”

Hmmm … sounds like excellent advice, don’t you think?  Congrats to D.W. and Willie!!!


Hee Haw …

Payton Dankworth is a high school student in Ballinger, Texas.  One day not long ago, she received a call from a friend who had been out riding (horses — it’s Texas, remember) and stumbled across a baby donkey.  The donkey was not well … malnourished and dehydrated.  The friend’s parents absolutely put their foot down and refused to keep the little donkey, so he asked Payton, knowing she had a soft heart.Jack-1

Jack-3Payton took the little guy in, bottle fed him and nursed him to health, and from that day forward, she was his momma!  She named him ‘Jack’, a fitting name for a donkey, although I likely would have named him Eeyore.Jack-2“He became really playful and now loves playing with my dogs. Right now he sleeps inside with me since he’s still so little and I give him a bottle about every two hours and then take him outside to use the bathroom. Jack also will not go to sleep unless my dog is with him. He will cry all night instead. I grew up showing steers and I’ve had my fair share of what you would call life on the farm. I don’t actually live on a farm but we do have property with other livestock animals on it.”

Since Jack came into her life, she has been inspired by his transformation to the point that she is now determined to look after animals for a living.Jack-4“Jack’s transformation has been the greatest thing ever to watch. It’s been so heart touching watching him thrive.  From watching him barely have enough strength to stand up to watching him run around and play with my dogs has been the greatest thing ever!”Jack-5There’s a saying that they grow them big in Texas … I think this young lady’s heart is proof enough of that!


Dance On, Wika!!!

Wirginia Szmyt, also known as DJ Wika, is eighty years old and still going strong.  She is Poland’s oldest DJ.  Donning yellow trousers, shiny platform shoes, red lipstick and headphones, she stands behind the decks, mixing party music in a huge Warsaw club.DJ-wika-2

“I don’t care if someone likes it or not that I am dancing or jumping behind the console, because I cannot play and stay still. When I play, I feel the melody, I feel the rhythm.”

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Every Monday night, she entertains about 1,000 people at the Hula Kula club, smashing stereotypes and empowering seniors as she plays everything from disco and rock to samba and ballads.

“I do not fit the stereotype of an elderly person. I don’t see a reason why my age should determine my life norms.  I used to work with young people and I kept this youthful outlook and youthful expectations … My message to youths is that your life does not end when you are 70. They would say ‘Miss Wika we are already 40, we are so old’. And I am twice as old as you and … I am not old, by no means.”

What an awesome outlook, don’t you think?


Here are a few humorous memes I happened across last week …

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And what would Jolly Monday be without a cute animal video?


jollyAnd on that note, I shall send you off to your Monday duties, hopefully with a bit of a smile on your face, one which I will no doubt relieve you of later today with my next post.  Sigh.  Have a great week, my friends, and remember to share your smiles & hugs … we all need a few extras these days!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!

Maxine-April-Fools

Still More Snarky Snippets …

Having awakened this morning with a growing sense of angst, I decided it must be time for some snarky snippets …


It’s a late April Fool’s joke, right?

I am amused by an OpEd headline in The Washington Post yesterday …

Trump’s Plan For Peace Will Be Bold.  Here’s How It Can Succeed.

Say WHAT???  Peace?  Trump?  Those two words do not even belong in the same sentence!  The writer, Michael Singh, implies that Trump even has a ‘plan’ for peace between Israel and Palestine.  First off, he doesn’t, for planning is something that is beyond Trump’s comprehension.  He operates on ‘mood of the moment’, not well thought out plans.  Secondly, he has already proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that he doesn’t understand the Middle East at all.

But the part that really made me laugh was the simple word:  peace.  Trump has divided his own nation so severely that I don’t foresee a reconciliation at any point in the future and am more inclined to think this nation will ultimately become two … or more.  Antagonism, bullying and battle, not peace, is Trump’s forte.  Mr. Singh apparently drank a bit too much of that Kool Aid.


Caught in the act …

tucker-carlsonTucker Carlson, who I consider one of the most bombastic fools of the 21st century, had his 15 minutes in the spotlight last week.  Turns out he’s always been an idiot, as evidenced by some decade-old radio recordings unearthed by Media Matters for America.  A few samples …

  • He claimed Iraqis don’t “behave like human beings” and said he had “zero sympathy” for Iraqis or their culture during a May 2006 discussion of the Iraq War on the popular radio show. “A culture where people just don’t use toilet paper or forks,” Carlson said—adding that Iraqis should “just shut the f*** up and obey” the U.S. because “they can’t govern themselves.”
  • He said immigrants should have “something to offer”—like being “hot” or “really smart.” “But people to come over and pick lettuce, I mean, I’m not saying that’s an undignified… but on the other hand, is that—are those people who are going to build, you know, a stronger country 20 years from now?”
  • “My — here’s my point: If a guy wants to be polygamist, that’s kind of his business.”
  • “A teacher who molested a 13-year-old took pressure off the victim’s female classmates because they wouldn’t have to sleep with him.”
  • “If you’re talking to a feminist, and she’s given you, ‘Well, men really need to be more sensitive,’ no, actually, men don’t need to be more sensitive. You just need to be quiet and kind of do what you’re told.”

If that last one didn’t make your blood boil …

Now, lest you think that ol’ Tucker (who names their kid ‘Tucker’, anyway?) was ashamed and apologetic … think again!

“Rather than express the usual ritual contrition, how about this: I’m on television every weeknight live for an hour. If you want to know what I think, you can watch. Anyone who disagrees with my views is welcome to come on and explain why.”

What a guy, eh?


Oranges???

I have long said that Trump is functionally illiterate.  The ‘man’ cannot seem to so much as string a simple sentence together that makes any sense.  He talks rather like the mobsters in the old mob movies, if you ask me.  This week, he has gone out of his way to prove my point.

The ‘oranges’ of the investigation?  Obviously, he was trying to say ‘origins’, but failed miserably.  Origins isn’t really that difficult to say, now is it?  Perhaps he hadn’t had his lunch yet and food was on his brain.  Or perhaps … just a thought … he really doesn’t know any better!dumb trumpWhile I’m in the Trump-mocking mode, what about his claim … repeated claim … that his father was born in Germany? While declaring his love for Germany, Trump said he’s proud that his father was born in the country. “Born in a very wonderful place in Germany, so I have a great feeling for Germany,” Trump said. Fred Trump was born in the Bronx.

A lie by any other name is still a lie.  He’s told so many of them that he genuinely seems not to know where truth stops and lies begin.


That’s it – blame the democrats …

Good ol’ Sarah Huckabee Sanders, one of Trump’s most loyal boot-lickers.  I used to think Sarah was at least capable of coherent thought, but she has worked hard to disabuse me of that notion.  Perhaps it is something in the air surrounding Trump that causes brain damage.Sarah.jpgYesterday, at an impromptu gathering on the White House lawn, Sarah was asked by a reporter by what statute, by what authority Trump felt it was within his power to shut down the Mexico-U.S. border as he has threatened.  Her response?

“Democrats are leaving us absolutely no choice at this point.”

Positively brilliant answer, Sarah … now go on back inside and colour some more pretty pictures.


Okay, I feel better now that I got all that off my chest!  Carry on, friends, and have a great rest-of-the-day!

‘Toons

I think it’s about time we found some humour in all the muck going on in this country today, don’t you?  Three things are big news this week:  ACA, also known as Obamacare, and the republican’s urge to ensure that some 20 million people will have no access to health care; Jussie Smollett’s sudden and mysterious exoneration; and of course the Mueller report, Barr’s slowness in releasing the entire report, and Trump’s false claim that he was cleared of any wrongdoing.  Let’s see what the talented cartoonists have done with these …

First, the Smollett case …

Escaping chargessmollettsmollet-3amollett-2

ACA?  Obamacare?  Trumpcare?

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And of course the biggest news of the day spawns the most ‘toons …

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And a few random ‘toons …

boeingBruce Plante Cartoon: A Betsy DeVos SpecialMike-LeeSelf-regulationtrump-1trump-2

A Short Jolly Monday

Good morning, friends and welcome on this cold Monday morning!  You may want to keep your jackets on, for my furnace is not working and while I’ve tried to warm the place up with the oven, it is still quite chilly in here.  I brought down a few blankets for any who would like one.  Yes, I called the emergency maintenance number several times, starting at noon yesterday, but … well, I guess they had better things to do than come fix my furnace.  But enough of that … how was your weekend?

Since I’m in a bit of a funk this morning and feared my humour might turn out to be a bit macabre, I’m turning Jolly Monday over to … well Jolly!  Let’s see what he can come up with, shall we?  Snacks, coffee, and tea are on the table, so help yourselves!


jolly Hi everyone!  You like cartoons?  I like cartoons a lot.  I find some funny cartoons dis morning I think you’ll like, okay?

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Mutts-toon

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Look at dis cute li’l video I found with an owl lookin’ at hisself in da mirror …


Oh!  I know!  I heard a joke da other day … wanna hear it?

A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side.

A couple of minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re cute!” Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was “cute.” She asked, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”


I think I’m puttin’ you to sleep … wanna look at some really neat critters?Bush-ViperDis is a Bush Viper.  It lives up in the trees of the tropical forests of Africa, and does most of its hunting at night.  I think it’s cute, but kinda scary.

Giant-Isopod

Giant-Isopod-2.jpgThis one’s a Giant Isopod, one of the largest of the existing isopods. “The enormous size of the giant isopod is a result of a phenomenon known as deep sea gigantism. This is the tendency of deep sea crustaceans and other animals to grow to a much larger size than similar species in shallower waters.”  I would be scared of it, wouldn’t you?

These are named Glaucus Atlanticus, but they’re usually just called Blue Dragon.  I think that’s easier to say.  They are a species of blue sea slug. You could find it in warm waters of the oceans, as it floats on the surface because of a gas-filled sac in its stomach.  I think they’re pretty!

Goblin-sharkDon’t be a-scared!  It won’t hurt you.  It’s a Goblin Shark!  It’s really rare, and they sometimes call it the ‘Living Fossil’.  “… the only extant representative of the family Mitsukurinidae, a lineage some 125 million years old.”  Goblin sharks inhabit around the world at depths greater than 100 m (330 ft), with adults found deeper than juveniles. Given the depths at which it lives, the goblin shark poses no danger to humans.   See, I told ya it won’t hurt you!

Mantis-shrimpThis one is a Mantis Shrimp!  Also called the “sea locusts“, “prawn killers” and even “thumb splitters”, this is one of the most common predators in tropical and sub-tropical waters; little is known about them, however, because of how much time they spend hiding in their burrows.  Isn’t it beeeeeooootiful?

Panda-antHow can you not love this cute little Panda Ant?  This one will hurt you, though!  The Mutillidae are a family of more than 3,000 species of wasps (despite the names) whose wingless females resemble large, hairy ants. Found in Chile, they are known for their extremely painful stings, hence the common name cow killer or cow ant. Black and white specimens are sometimes known as panda ants due to their hair coloration resembling that of the Chinese giant panda.

red-lipped-batfishYou like dis Red-Lipped Batfish?  It looks like it has lipstick on, doesn’t it?  Found on the Galapagos Islands, this fish is actually a pretty bad swimmer, and uses its pectoral fins to walk on the bottom of the ocean.  I don’ think I wanna meet up with dis one!

Umbonia-SpinosaDis is the most interesting one, I think.  Umbonia Spinosa is its name.  These thorn bugs are related to cicadas, and use their beaks to pierce plant stems to feed upon their sap. Their strange appearance still poses many questions to scientists.  I think it’s pretty, but kinda scary, too.


Okay, Jolly … I think that’s about all we can do for this morning, don’t you?  Remember that cute baby animals video you found last night?  Let’s show ‘em that, shall we?


Sorry, folks, but Jolly and I seem to be a bit short on humour this morning, but I hope we at least brought you a small smile.  Perhaps by sharing that small smile, you can grow it into a bigger one, yes?  I do apologize and we will try to do better next Monday.  Have a great week, my friends, and keep safe.  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!

‘Toons To Make You Laugh … Or Cry

Tonight I am inundated with the utter ignorance of the republicans and Fox “News” who have all decided, wrongly, that Robert Mueller’s report exonerates Trump and his court jesters.  It does not.  But, I seriously do not feel like arguing the point with the fools tonight, so instead, I shall relieve my own angst, and hopefully yours, with a few well-pointed ‘toons.  Have a Happy Sunday, if you can …

First, there is Donald Trump, white supremacist and racist of the highest order …Trump-white-supremacy

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And what about Trump’s code of morals, eh?Trump-morals

Remember the big deal about Hillary using a private email server?

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I think this is spot on for how most of us feel these days …

Worry

And lastly, there is Trump the Duffer … er, ‘golfer’ …

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Last Week Today

I was reminded that I didn’t do a post with ‘toons last week, so consider this to be last week’s post this week.  Rather like the title of John Oliver’s show, Last Week Tonight.  Much was in the news this week, but the cartoonists grabbed one topic as their central focus … the college admissions scandal.

collegecollege-1college-2Tom Toles Editorial Cartoon - tt_c_c190314.tifcollege-4college-5college-6college-7college-8college-9

Then there was Trump’s ludicrous budget proposal …

budgetbudget-2budget-3Federal budget

The tragedy of immigrant children, separated from their parents and kept in ‘detention centers’ …

immigrantimmigrant-2Bruce Plante Cartoon: DHS Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen

And a few just about Trump and his circus act …

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TrumpA Trump embraceTrump-3Trump-4Trump-5Wall

Have a great week!