Humour To End The Week …

Posted on June 21, 2019 by jilldennison under Bits 'n Pieces, cartoons, Election 2020, Free Press Issues, Global Issues, Humour, Political commentary, Racism & Bigotry

It’s Friday … finally! The end of a loooooong week for us all. Let’s start the weekend off on the right foot … let’s laugh at some of the stupidity of our government. We can effect change over time, but there is no immediate solution, so that which you cannot change … you laugh at!

One of the two biggest stories of the week was Trump kicking off his 2020 campaign. Now, I don’t understand why this is a big deal, considering he registered to run for re-election on the very day he was inaugurated after stealing his first election! But, a big deal was made by the trumpians, so it made the news.

And the democrats mostly launched their campaigns already, though with somewhat less fanfare …

The second big news item was the escalation of tensions between Trump and Iran. Note that I did not say ‘between the U.S. and Iran’, for this attempt to bully Iran into a war is solely a creation of team Trump-Pompeo-Bolton … the rest of us have no interest in starting a new war in the Middle East, especially one that is built on lies and false premises.

The immigrant situation at the southern border continues, or perhaps worsens as Trump announced that he is going to deport some 11 million immigrants … the fact that it isn’t true matters not to his base, for as long as he says it, they lap it up like a cat laps up cream …

The media was its own news this week, when the New York Times announced the firing of its political cartoonists (baaaad move) and when Trump announced that his primary mouthpiece, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, would be leaving at the end of June (YAY!!!)

A few ‘toons about the abomination that is Trump …

Have a great weekend, my friends!

Monday Is For … Being Jolly!

Posted on June 17, 2019 by jilldennison under animals, Bits 'n Pieces, cartoons, Humour, Politic-Free Mondays

Good Monday morning, friends! Come in, and welcome! Did you all have a wonderful weekend? Mine? Meh. Chris was out of town with her band at a competition in Chicago, so Goose and I just chilled out. Other than the tornado warnings throughout the night Saturday night, nothing much to report. I am dying to show you guys the new bumper sticker I got for my van, but … um … it’s slightly political, and the only rule for Jolly Monday is no politics, so I’ll sneak it into this afternoon’s post! You’ll love it! Now, grab a bit of a snack and something to drink, and let’s have a chuckle or two!

Benjamin’s juice boxes — but he’ll share if you ask nicely!

More money than good sense

Get a load of this one. A lock of Beethoven’s hair is going on the auction block at Sotheby’s in London and was initially expected to bring between $15,000 and $19,000, however it sold for £35,000, or $44,082.50 USD! The auctioneer said the hair was given by Beethoven to contemporary Anton Halm as a gift for Halm’s wife. Say WHAT??? Who gives a lock of their hair to a friend for his wife … who gives a lock of hair to anybody, for that matter. Apparently, Mr. Halm had previously bought what was supposedly a lock of Beethoven’s hair from a third party at some point, but it turned out to be goat’s hair.

Personally, I think there’s something wrong with anybody who wants a lock of someone else’s hair, except maybe their own child!The hair is held together by a genuine silk thread, and is encased in a 19th century glazed oval frame. That amount of money … for a lock of hair of a dead person, albeit a famous dead person … is further proof, if any were needed, that people with money to burn are people of very little brain.

Name that baby!

Did you have trouble choosing a name for any of your children? My late ex and I fought over a middle name for our first child, daughter Chris, and thus she has no middle name. Her first name is Christina, and I wanted her middle name to be ‘Maria’, but Donnie (the late ex) said it sounded too Spanish. So, we left it for her to choose her own, and she never did. The next one, a boy, I chose Michael, and Donnie insisted on “Frank” for the middle name, after his favourite uncle. Never mind that Uncle Frank had made passes at me on multiple occasions! Then, when the third one came along, I chose Thomas, and Donnie ranted that I had named the first two, this was the last one, and it was his turn, so the poor kid ended up with the name “Clifford William”. Anyway … to the point …

If you’re having trouble settling on a name for your baby, there is a start up company, Future Perfect, that will do it for you … for a mere $350! Founded by two moms who met on a playground and bonded over their children’s unique names, the company offers a variety of packages ranging from the $100 “The Riff” package that includes a 15-minute “namestorming” session via phone, to the $350 “The Works” package that features a 15-minute consultation that leads to a list of 10 suggested first names and 10 suggested middle names for the baby.

I repeat what I said in the last piece … some people have a lot more money than common sense.

Climate Change ahead …

You know those digital traffic signs that road crews use to warn of various road conditions ahead? Well, in Houston, somebody got the idea of hacking one such sign. The sign originally read “Reduce Speed Now”, but one morning last week, motorists were seeing a variety of messages, including …

Global warming at work
Warning: Hurricane Human
Triassic weather ahead
We are the asteroid

Personally, I think the messages are relevant and timely. The original message might have been intended to save lives that day, but … the replacement messages might save lives over a much longer term.

Apparently, this is not a new phenomenon, for in North Carolina last month, somebody changed a digital sign to read, “Idiots on bikes”, and in Delaware County, Pennsylvania, an extremely obscene message replaced the original that warned of a detour.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

You just have to see/hear this beautiful, talented young lady play the song …

Isn’t she amazing?

How about a few cartoons to bring a chuckle?

And, what is Jolly Monday without a cute animal video? I actually came across this one a few weeks ago, put it away for safekeeping, and of course forgot where I put it … rather like the bunch of fresh parsley I lost this weekend. Anyway, prepare to smile …

And that’s a wrap for today, my friends! Please don’t forget to share those gorgeous smiles I see on your faces … I left a few extras by the door, so feel to grab one on your way out in case you lose yours sometime this week. Love ‘n Hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!

Time For ‘Toons!!!

Posted on June 10, 2019 by jilldennison under Bits 'n Pieces, cartoons, Election 2020, Humour, Political commentary

Ever have one of those days where nothing goes right? It started with getting up late, finding that the kitties had knocked over my flowers and water was everywhere, then trying to quickly get a beef roast into the crock pot for supper took me nearly an hour for some reason. So, long story short, I am in a time crunch today and thought … what a perfect opportunity to showcase some cartoons! Political cartoons sometimes make us laugh, sometimes shake our heads, and sometimes make us want to cry, but they say so much with a simple drawing. So, let’s see how the cartoonists have viewed the past week or two …

Trump does love tariffs. Too bad he doesn’t understand them.

One of the biggest issues dividing this nation … one of the few hundred, that is … is guns. Every time there is a multiple-death shooting as there was in Virginia Beach on May 31st, the debate becomes more vocal, with the gun nuts saying “this isn’t the time to discuss it”, and the rest of us positing that this is exactly the time to discuss it.

Of course, regardless of political party, the “I-word” is on everybody’s mind these days …

Who can resist poking fun at ol’ 2-faced Lindsey Graham?

And just for kicks …

Have a great week, folks … remember, humour helps us maintain perspective in these troubled times!

Sigh … More Snarky Snippets …

Posted on June 9, 2019 by jilldennison under Bits 'n Pieces, cartoons, Global Issues, Political commentary, Social commentary

Some nights the mind bounce simply does not allow me to focus on my more in-depth projects … I have three of them in-process at the moment … and so nothing will do but a few snarky snippets. Sorry, folks … I simply cannot help myself. Sigh.

Underpaid???

I want you to get out your box of tissues and don your sympathy hats, for this one’s a real tear-jerker. Members of Congress have not had a pay raise … not even so much as a cost-of-living increase … since 2009 – ten years!!! The horror! I mean, the majority of them only earn a paltry $174,000 per year! How on earth are they managing? So, two republican representatives, Kevin McCarthy and Steve Scalise, have quietly proposed a pay increase … just about a 2.5% increase … ballpark $3 million per year in total … nothing to break the bank.

But wait! The minimum wage rate of $7.25 also has not been raised since 2009. The full-time minimum wage worker earns $15,080 per year. Um … that is a mere 8.67% of what those members of Congress are earning. All of which might not cause a raised eyebrow except … back in March there was a bill in Congress to raise the minimum wage to $15 per hour in increments by 2024. Guess what? The bill ran into a bit of a snag, with every single republican, including Representatives Scalise and McCarthy, committed to voting against it, and even some democrats refusing to support it, saying it would place an “unfair burden” on small businesses. Unfair burden? Unfair burden??? What about the burden of all those people working second jobs just to survive???

The very people who are poised to grant themselves a $4,500 per annum pay increase, would deny the minimum wage worker an increase. The bill hasn’t garnered the 218 votes needed to pass the House, and even if it passes the House, Mitch McConnell has indicated that he will not bring the bill to a vote in the Senate. And even if it passed both the House and the Senate, in all likelihood Trump would veto it.

Think about that one … the people who are making 11.5 times as much as minimum wage earners, most of whom are already millionaires, want a raise for themselves, but none for the man or woman who is struggling every day to feed their children, pay the rent, pay the doctor’s bills, and keep the electricity from being shut off. My answer to the members of the U.S. Congress is do what the minimum wage earners are having to do … take a second or even third job!!!

Ignorance

In year’s past, a president might be applauded for a brilliant speech, or criticized for one that wasn’t so good, but it tells you all you need to know about Don Trump when he is praised for not veering off-script. The speech he gave at the ceremony for the 75^th anniversary of D-Day was praised by two of Trump’s media antagonists, Jim Acosta and Joe Scarborough, not for it’s content (Trump didn’t write it) or sincerity (there was none), but because he stayed on script and didn’t go off on a tangent as he is prone to do.

“This is perhaps the most on-message moment of Donald Trump’s presidency today. We were all wondering if he would veer from his remarks, go off of his script but he stayed on script, stayed on message …” – Jim Acosta, CNN

“I’m also glad the president chose to have the discipline to stick to script …” – Joe Scarborough, MSNBC

Sorry, guys, but given that he spent three full days making an ass of himself and of this nation while visiting our allies, he gets no kudos from me for managing a few minutes reading from a paper without veering off course. Two and a half years in office, and this is his crowning achievement – being able to read a speech that somebody else wrote??? That’s sad. That’s really, really sad.

Truer words have never been spoken than these by President Dwight David Eisenhower

Th-th-that’s all f-f-folks

Trump’s Travels ‘Toons

Posted on June 7, 2019 by jilldennison under cartoons, Global Issues, Humour, Political commentary, Social commentary

Trump traveled to the UK for an official state visit this week, and much to nobody’s surprise, he disgraced and humiliated us just as we knew he would. Delusional as always, he came away thinking the crowds of protestors were adoring fans and that “everybody loves” him in the UK. The cartoonists had a slightly different take on it. Let’s take a look …

His staff tried to prepare him for the visit …

Apparently he tuned it all out, for ….

And with signs like these, it is unimaginable that he still believes he is loved on the other side of the pond …

And those were actually some of the … um … shall we say less vulgar signs! 🤣

Jolly Monday … sans Jolly

Posted on June 3, 2019 by jilldennison under animals, Bits 'n Pieces, cartoons, Humour, Politic-Free Mondays

Wha … what? It … it’s Monday??? Nobody told me! I thought it was … I dunno what day I thought it was, but … Monday never crossed my mind. Hold up … have a seat … let me … let me just go get some clothes on, okay? Um … I’ll be back in a jiffy.

Okay … that’s better … I don’t have much to offer today, but there’s coffee ‘n donuts over on the table … help yourself and then let’s find something to help us start the week off with a laugh, shall we?

You’re how old???

I came across a story in The Guardian that caused my jaw to drop. Did you know that in South Korea they tally a person’s age a bit differently than we do? Every newborn baby turns one on the day they are born and two on the next New Year’s Day. This means that a baby born say just a few minutes before midnight on December 31^st, would be counted as being two-years-old when it was but a few minutes old!

When asked their age by a foreigner, many South Koreans give both their “Korean age” and “international age”. The system’s origins are unclear. One theory is that turning one year old at birth takes into account time spent in the womb – with nine months rounded up to 12. Others link it to an ancient Asian numerical system that did not have the concept of zero.

Now think about this … if the age for a child to start school is five-years-old, then the kid born on New Year’s Eve is going to have to start school at age three! Of course, there is a benefit on the other end … you could retire two years earlier!

Where did I leave my brain?

I came across some fun things over at Bored Panda … things that make you think maybe somebody wasn’t thinking too clearly …

Did Brian not ever notice? I’m not sure who is dingier, Rachel or Brian.

Didn’t they mean the date it was installed?

Where’s da panda?

I came across this brain teaser created by Hungarian artist Gergely Dudás last night. Can you find the panda among the sea of snowmen? I couldn’t, but I do know where it is, so later today I’ll post the answer in comments.

Is it a horse … or a dog?

Last, but not least, we must have our cute animal video of the week, yes? We’ve all seen or heard of miniature horses, but this little girl named Martha is said to be the tiniest, fuzziest horse in the world! Take a look …

I know this is a short Jolly Monday, but frankly Jolly has buried his head under the covers and is refusing to come out … I think he’s missing our young friend Benjamin … and I just can’t do humour so well without my Jolly. So, let’s wrap up with a few funny ‘toons, and a wish that you have a great week ahead! Be sure to share your smiles this week, okay? Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and the pouting Jolly!

And for our dear friend Hugh …

Saturday Surprise — Tidbits of Humour

Posted on May 25, 2019 by jilldennison under animals, Bits 'n Pieces, cartoons, Humour, Saturday Surprise

I admit to being somewhat depleted tonight as I sit down to do this Saturday Surprise post, so I thought I’d go with a hodgepodge of humorous tidbits … I think we could all use a laugh right about now, yes?

Jeff Foxworthy, famous for his “You Might Be a Redneck If …” one-liners, often brings a chuckle. I liked the first two best.

I haven’t shared any of those funny signs for a few months … this first one caught my eye and since it made me laugh, I thought it would bring a chuckle from you also.

I always like a little quip … a short joke with a quick punch …

A HAPPY MEAL

Q: What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown?

A: “Does this taste funny to you?”

A GUMMY PROBLEM

Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

A: He was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

BIRDMAN

Little girl: “Why does your son say, ‘Cluck, cluck, cluck?'”

Mother: “Because he thinks he’s a chicken.”

Little girl: “Why don’t you tell him he’s not a chicken?”

Mother: “We need the eggs.”

Of course there must be some funny animal memes, right?

A few ‘toons …

I’m sorry to cut this short, folks, but I truly am running on fumes, and anyway … it’s the WEEKEND, and a long, 3-day weekend at that!!! I know you’ve got all sorts of fun planned, yes? So do I!!! I’m going to wrestle a chair from my upstairs bedroom to the downstairs living room, and vacuum the 15-step staircase! Bet you’re jealous, huh? You’re more than welcome to come help! Have a wonderful holiday weekend and keep safe, my friends!

Tuesday’s ‘Toons …

Posted on May 21, 2019 by jilldennison under cartoons, Global Issues, Humour, Law and justice, Political commentary, Racism & Bigotry, Social commentary

I decided to hop around and see how the cartoonists are handling things this week. Y’know, it’s odd that we can still manage to find humour in the atrocities our government is inflicting on us every day, but … I guess in order to maintain some degree of sanity, we must find something to laugh about, yes?

This week the three biggest topics were Trump’s & Bolton’s taunting of Iran and the likely fallout, the draconian anti-abortion laws being passed in many states, and Trump’s trade wars. But first … the world lost two fabulous entertainers last week, Doris Day and Tim Conway … so let’s start there.

Alabama, Georgia, Utah, Ohio, Missouri, Mississippi and other states have recently passed highly restrictive laws banning abortion, in some cases calling for long periods of incarceration for both mother and doctor. The ultimate goal of the far right evangelicals and Trump, of course, being to get these cases to the Supreme Court and overturn the federal law established by Roe v Wade, thus completely subjugating women to the whims of a few. They call it “pro-life”, but it is, in fact, anti-women’s rights, nothing more.

Trump and his National Security advisor John Bolton have been seemingly trying to poke the beast (Iran) and start a new war in the Middle East. Just what the world needs, eh?

Trump’s trade war … some time ago he said, “Trade wars are easy to win”. Well, we know … we knew then … that he is clueless, that he doesn’t understand international trade any better than a banana does, and now he’s proven it. He has gone tariff-crazy and it is hurting US, especially the farmers, but he’s oblivious and doesn’t care anyway.

And I close with just a few miscellaneous ‘toons …

Jolly Monday — Shoes ‘n Such

Posted on May 20, 2019 by jilldennison under animals, Bits 'n Pieces, cartoons, Humour, Politic-Free Mondays

Good Monday morning folks, and welcome to another week! I hope you had a great weekend and I know you’re eager to get back to the grind today, right? Um … right? Hey … where are those cheerful faces and huge smiles? Well, let’s just see if we can’t find ‘em before you have to head out the door, okay? You should always start the week with a smile anyway. So, grab a snack and a cuppa something and prepare to don those smiles!

Benjamin’s juice boxes — but he’ll share if you ask nicely!

Shoes, shoes, shoes

Last night I happened across a pair of … shoes. Actually, my daughter found them on Pinterest and showed them to me, and I tucked them away in a corner of my cobwebby mind for this post. Now, I am not able to find a pair for sale (no no no … I do NOT wish to own a pair, but merely wanted to find out what outrageous price was being charged for them), so I have no idea what they cost, but if it’s more than a dollar, it’s too much. Who in their right mind would wear such a hideous thing on their feet? Turns out these “Octopus Tentacle shoes” are the creation of Filipino designer Kermit Tesoro.

Tesoro initially came into prominence through his sophisticated shoes that were used by Lady Gaga in many of her tours. He has used various mediums in his shoes such as wood, plaster, steel, leather, industrial resin, coral, and human bones and teeth, all of which have been inspired from natural environs and things found in specific environments.

“I want to translate people’s deviations into my own creations. It’s like a fashion interpretation of the biological or psychological deviation of a person. I’ve always been driven to create clothing articles based on inner conflicts or the inability to control one’s inner impulses or failure to structure one’s behavior in an orderly way.”

Take a look at some of his other creations …

That last one? I’m not even sure where one puts one’s foot??? I shall stick with my Reeboks.

Ice cream anyone?

Remember back in the day … there were basically three flavours of ice cream: chocolate, vanilla and strawberry. Today, there are literally hundreds of flavours. I don’t get ice cream often, however when I do, my favourite is Graeter’s Raspberry Chocolate Chunk, or else anybody’s Peanut Butter & Chocolate. Sigh. Anyway … here in the U.S., Ben and Jerry’s is usually the innovator of strange flavours, and most are a limited time experiment. But this month, XXI ICE, a company based in Dundalk, Ireland, has the most … unique? Different? Yucky … flavour. Chicken Nugget ice cream.

Mind you, I can tolerate chicken nuggets, though they aren’t my favourite thing to eat, but in ice cream??? Take a look …

I believe I will pass on this one.

Baaaa-aaaa-aaa

In the French primary school of Jules-Ferry in Crets en Belledonne at the foot of the Alps, there are 261 children and 15 sheep registered for classes. The children will study the usual ‘three Rs’ … Reading, Writing and ‘Rithmatic, while the sheep will study the three Bs … Baaaa-ing, Bleating, and Butting. They will all study m-ewe-sic together!Crets en Belledonne is a small town of less than 4,000 people, and in recent years enrollment at the school has declined, prompting the government to tell the school they must cut back on the number of classes they offer. Since the school offers only 11 classes as it is, any scaling back could pose critical problems in the quality of education. It was at this juncture that the parents in the town put their heads together and came up with a plan … a plan to enroll the sheep, increase the number of students, and maintain the same number of classes. A brilliant scheme, actually, and as it happens … it actually worked!Even the local mayor hopped on the bandwagon and officially recognized the sheep as legitimate students of the school. Among the sheep enrolled in the school are Baa-bete and Saute-Mouton.

MUI – Mowing Under the Influence???

Here’s the question … can you be arrested and charged with a DUI for operating a riding lawnmower while ‘under the influence’ of alcohol? Well, maybe and maybe not. Maybe it depends on the circumstances. But if, while drunkenly mowing your lawn, you hit a police vehicle, then rest assured that you can be charged!

Gary Wayne Anderson of Haines City, Florida, learned this lesson the hard way on a Saturday evening earlier this month. An officer had parked his cruiser and stepped away momentarily, when he heard a loud crash and turned to see Mr. Anderson on his riding mower. Damage to the cruiser was minimal, but Anderson volunteered the information that he was drunk!

Anderson, age 68, failed the field sobriety test, and was laughing one minute and being aggressive the next, so the officer took him to the nearest hospital, where his blood-alcohol tested more than three times the legal limit, plus they found evidence of cocaine in his blood. He blamed the cocaine on the police, saying they planted it there.

And thus is born a new acronym: MUI – mowing under the influence, or MWI – mowing while intoxicated. Mr. Anderson, meanwhile, is being held in the Polk County, Florida, jail in lieu of $3,000 bond while his grass grows unfettered.

And, of course, if it’s Monday, there must be cartoons, right?

We certainly cannot wrap up Jolly Monday without our cute animal video …

Okay, folks, well … I suppose it’s time to get this week started. I hope you all have a wonderful week, and please share those gorgeous smiles you’re wearing now with people who might be in need of one. Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!

How ‘Bout Some ‘Toons?

Posted on May 14, 2019 by jilldennison under Bits 'n Pieces, cartoons, Environmental Issues, Global Issues, Humour, Law and justice, Political commentary

I think it’s about time to catch up on a few ‘toons, don’t you? The political cartoons are one way of measuring which issues are on the minds of the people at any given time. Today, one of the biggest issues is, not surprisingly, the trade war Trump has engaged in with China and the tariffs that are hurting We the People more than any.

After the recent United Nations report showing that we are in danger of losing one million species from the planet due to our poor stewardship of the environment, climate change and environmental issues once again came to the forefront of everyone’s mind.

Congress subpoenaed Trump’s tax returns from the Department of Treasury, but of course Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin is refusing to honour the subpoena. Meanwhile, the New York Times released 10 years of Trump’s taxes from 1985 to 1994, showing that in that ten year period, he lost over $1.17 billion … naturally the cartoonists had a field day with that one, as did our friend Don Lemon!

And, of course, we are still dealing with Trump’s blatant and now undeniable obstruction of justice. The Mueller report cites no less than ten instances where Trump obstructed justice, and he is still doing it today by trying to shut down the congressional oversight committees that are trying to pick up where Mueller’s report left off and determine whether impeachment is the right path.