Jolly Monday … We Hope

Good Monday morning, my friends!  Come in, come in … isn’t it grand that we haven’t had to curtail our Monday morning get-togethers, despite the restrictions due to the coronavirus?  We are still having just as much fun on Monday mornings as ever!  I shan’t ask how your weekend was, nor need you ask about mine.  Suffice it to say that I am now a week older than when you last saw me … but then, so are most of you.  So, grab a bit of a snack and let’s see what Jolly and I have found to bring a smile to your gorgeous mugs today, shall we?


Lamborghini follow-up

Last Monday, as you may recall, I told you about a 5-year-old boy in Utah who, angry that his mother refused to buy him a Lamborghini sports car (they retail for between $265,000 and $382,000, by the way), ‘borrowed’ the family car and went out planning to buy his own … with all of $3 in his pocket.  An observant state trooper pulled him over and that was the end of that story.  Except, there is a follow up …

Jeremy Neves, a local businessman, heard of the young man’s disappointment and, as Jeremy happens to own a Lamborghini (apparently a quite successful businessman), decided to treat the boy to a ride.

“I’m absolutely inspired by the principles that he displayed of success ― knowing what he wants, going after it. I thought it would be really cool to say, ‘Your dreams aren’t as far away as you think they are.’”

Now, I thought it was a pretty cool thing for Mr. Neves to do, but apparently the general consensus is that it wasn’t.  He was trounced on Twitter and elsewhere by people saying he had just given the lad the wrong lesson, rewarding him for bad behaviour.  And, on re-thinking it, he was rewarding him for all the wrong things, and encouraging that uber-capitalistic spirit that I so often complain about.  I was only thinking of the joy the young boy must have experienced.  Ah well … I’m rarely right, but still … that’s ‘the rest of the story’ as I know it.


Reclaiming their turf!

Ever since March, when a number of countries put into place strict lockdown orders, and others a lesser version, a stay-at-home order, or recommendation, businesses closed, and nations ground to a halt, there have been stories of animals turning up where you wouldn’t normally expect to find them.  The first, and most well-known, was the story of a herd of goats running through the streets of the town of Llandudno, Wales …

Since then, there have been many such stories from all over the world, including the U.S.  I find them heartwarming … after all, the critters were all here long before humans evolved from the great apes, and we took over, driving them into selected areas, in some cases driving their entire species off the earth.  The latest one, though, I found great humour in.

In an area of Brandon, Florida, residents are complaining about a group of … peacocks!  They say they have taken over the neighborhood and are messy, noisy, and are keeping them up at nights!  County officials said the peacocks aren’t regulated as pets because no one has claimed ownership of them, but the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission said the birds also aren’t considered wildlife, so the agency doesn’t have jurisdiction over them.  In other words … get over it, people!  I imagine that soon, now that states are allowing businesses to re-open, people will be out and about more, cars polluting the air and airwaves, and the peacocks will find their way to greener pastures, but for now … it’s funny.  (Especially since I don’t live there!)


Da bull had an itch!

In the Scottish town of Chapelton, Hazel Laughton’s 4-year-old bull, Ron, had an itch.  When my cats get an itch, they use the corner of my laptop, or whatever is handy, to rub the area, usually the side of their face, until the itch is gone.  Ron decided to scratch his itch against a utility pole, and that must have been some powerful itch, for in the process he knocked the transformer completely off the pole, knocking out electricity to some 700 homes!Ron-bullFortunately, the transformer went straight to the ground, missing Ron, else this might not have been a humorous story after all.  Hazel posted an apology to all her neighbors on Facebook …

“Our bull Ron would like to apologize to everyone in Chapelton and Strathaven for causing last night’s power cut to over 700 homes. He had  itchy bum so  scratched it on the electricity pole and knocked the transformer box off.”

Not something you hear every day!


Time for a few cartoons, don’t you think?  Let’s see what Phil has in store for us over at Phil’s Phun

toon-1toon-2toon-3toon-4toon-5toon-7toon-8


I don’t know about you, but I sense that my humour is a bit tired tonight, but I hope something brought a bit of a smile to your face.  Jolly informs me that we forgot the cute animal video last week, and I almost forgot it this week!  Thanks for reminding me, Jolly!

jollyWell, folks, I hope you have a good week ahead, and please keep safe out there!  Love ‘n big hugs from Filosofa & Jolly!

Jolly Monday — A Surprise Announcement!

I can’t believe it’s Monday already and we have to do this all over again.  Sigh.  At least we have a bit of extra help with Jolly Monday today, as Jolly’s girlfriend Joyful has spent the weekend with us and she volunteered to whip up some treats today.  Luckily, she is a better cook than Jolly!  So, how was your weekend?  Do anything exciting, like … mow the lawn or clean the bathtub grout?  Yeah … me either.  Well, grab a treat … Joyful made some fancy things it looks like … and let’s try to start this week out with a chuckle or two, shall we?


Banksy’s back!

You remember one Saturday last month when I did a Saturday Surprise post about Banksy, the British street artist who has done some amazing work?  Well, he has done another and this time he pays tribute to health care workers that are at the frontlines of battling the coronavirus pandemic.BanksyThis one is called “Painting for Saints”, referring to the fact that the boy in the painting has ditched the traditional superheroes (such as Batman and Spiderman) in exchange for a new hero – a nurse.

The piece is currently being showcased in Southampton General Hospital on the south coast of England and honors all healthcare workers that are currently battling the coronavirus pandemic that is ravaging the world. The painting will remain on display in the hospital until autumn when it will be auctioned off to raise money for the NHS.


Better late than never?

Paul Willis is a hog farmer in Thornton, Iowa.  Now, it wasn’t particularly unusual that he received a postcard from his sister, Annie, a few days ago, but he was puzzled, for the picture on the card was of her on a hike in the Grand Canyon, looking much younger than she currently looks.  So, he checked the postmark and saw it had been posted in San Francisco in December 1987.  There was also a more recent postmark, April 29th of this year, from Des Moines, Iowa.

Paul called the post office and was told that all the post offices are undergoing a deep cleaning and disinfecting due to the threat of coronavirus, and most likely his postcard had been stuck in some small place, unnoticed for the past 32+ years.  Wow … who knows what we might be getting in the mail these days … could be a check for a million dollars was misplaced and will arrive in your mailbox this week!


Just a wee bit short …

An unnamed Utah Highway Patrol trooper was cruising along Interstate-15, looking for speeders or anything out of the ordinary, when he saw a driver who was obviously impaired, so … he hit the lights and siren and pulled the car over on the 25th Street southbound egress ramp.

However, the trooper was in for a shock when he went to the door of the car to ask for “license and registration, please”.  He may have first noticed that the driver was a wee bit short, but imagine his surprise to find a 5-year-old child behind the wheel!!!

kid-utahThe boy told the trooper he had taken his parents’ car after getting into an argument with his mother, who told him she would not buy him a Lamborghini.  Imagine that … why, it’s almost criminal!  The child told the trooper he had intended to drive to California to buy a luxury vehicle for himself.  The kid’s got chutzpah, you’ve got to give him that!

Said the trooper …

“He might have been short on the purchase amount, as he only had $3 dollars in his wallet.”


So, we’ve got just a few ‘toons and a couple of funny memes for you this morning …

toon-1toon-2toon-3toon-4toon-5toon-6toon-7toon-8

meme-1meme-2


Now, Jolly has something he wants to tell you, so I’ll bid you adieu and hope that you have a wonderful week!  Jolly … the floor is all yours …

jollyWell, see, me ‘n Joyful … well, we’ve been spending lots of time together … picnics, playin’ games, ‘n other stuff, an’ … well … we has decided we’re gonna get … {gulp} … mawwied!  Y’know, like bwide ‘n gwoom, throwin’ wice, and all dat stuff, ‘n den we’re both gonna live here with gwammie!  You don’t have to buy us pwesents, but we hope you’ll be happy for us!

And On This Jolly Monday, Ye Shall …. SMILE!!!

I try not to do this often, but today I am reduxing a Jolly Monday from back in July 2017.  The reason?  I spent all my funny and good humour yesterday afternoon on the World Laughter Day post, and it has not yet replenished!  Plus, Jolly stayed over with Joyful last night and hasn’t managed to drag himself home yet to help.  Next week, I promise an all-new Jolly Monday, but meanwhile, this was one of my better ones, I thought.


Once again we face the daunting task of a new week … 7 days, 168 hours … and we do so with a smile, right folks?  We … wha … who said “No”?  Yes, we shall, now sit down and smile!  Now, I usually bake cinnamon rolls or some such treat for our Monday morning, but today I have decided to keep our treat gluten-free for a couple of readers who didn’t eat the cinnamon rolls, so …

apple

gluten-free apple

So, let us move on, for I know that some of you have jobs to go to and cannot lollygag around here all day.


Electrifying speech by father of the bride …

“It was a beautiful wedding,” said the mother of the bride.  The wedding, held in the family’s apple orchard in Lower Woodstock, New Brunswick, had gone off without a hitch and now it was time for some celebrating.  The father of the bride, JP Nadeau, had just begun his toast with, “You know, Adam, you are one lucky guy …”, when out of the blue (literally) came a bolt of lightning (again, literally).

Monday-wedding“As soon as I said that, my daughter’s eyes – she was looking at me – just popped right out. Because all of a sudden there was this lightning flash that hit right behind me. The electricity went through the wire, because I was holding a microphone. I saw lightning in my hand. I was really freaked out. I had the microphone and the shock jumped into the sound system and my hand just lit up and I saw the spark. And I’m looking at my hand and it’s all flared up … It was like I was holding a lightning bolt in my hand, it was amazing. I felt the current go right through me, but it was my hand I was worried about, because I’m a piano man. I want to keep playing. I don’t care if I die. I want to keep playing.”

After determining the only damage was a small scorch mark on his thumb, Nadeau continued his toast, only to be interrupted yet again by the people in the sound booth who were frantically yelling at him to bring back the microphone he was holding. He calmly walked over to the sound booth to hand them the microphone as the wedding guests looked on, stunned. “They thought I was going to drop dead.”

Monday-lightningNonetheless, the party resumed, albeit under a tent, for the lightning bolt was, predictably, followed by wind and rain.  It is said that a good time was had by all, and JP Nadeau is well aware that son-in-law Adam was not the only ‘lucky guy’ that day!


Not Candid Camera …

Imagine that you go to the ATM, conduct your business, and in lieu of a receipt, this is what comes through the slot …

Monday-atm-noteMost people at this point would be looking around for a hidden camera.  Many took it as a joke and simply drove off.  But finally, after three hours and who knows how many notes, somebody flagged down police Officer Richard Olden.  The officer was also inclined to brush it off as a prank, but as he approached the ATM he could hear a faint voice.

What happened?  A repairman was called to the ATM in a bank under construction to repair a door lock.  Leaving his cell phone in his truck, he entered the ATM and with a sinking feeling, heard the door close behind him.  Oopsie.  So he began writing notes.  I wonder just how many such notes he had to write before finally somebody took it seriously? Lucky he didn’t leave his pen and notepad in the truck with his cellphone!


Hubby storage …

Most of us leave our hubbies or significant others home when we go to the mall.  (Actually, I HATE malls and as it happens, in my family the girls leave ME home, for which I am thankful.)  Malls and men mostly do not mix.  But every now and then, one gets stuck taking hubby who, being totally bored, exhibits eye-rolling and deep sighs, not-so-furtive glances at his watch, and occasional foot-tapping.  By this time, it seems just simpler to leave than to continue whatever shopping we set out to do.  But a mall in China may have hit on a brilliant solution for both wife and hubby … hubby storage pods!!!

Monday-hubby-pods.jpg

“According to The Paper, the Global Harbour mall in Shanghai has erected a number of glass pods for wives to leave any disgruntled husbands that don’t want to be dragged around the shops.

Inside each individual pod is a chair, monitor, computer and gamepad, and men can sit and play retro 1990s games. Currently, the service is free, but staff told the newspaper that in future months, users will be able to scan a QR code and pay a small sum for the service using their mobile phones.” – BBC, 14 July 2017

I think it is a pretty good idea that may catch on, but … I can picture many a wife finishing her shopping and going home, accidentally (or not) forgetting hubby back at the mall!


More avocado art …

Monday-avacadoRemember a few weeks ago when I posted the above picture of an avocado that had been intricately carved into a thing of beauty?  Well now comes this …

Monday-avocado-pitThe story is that Jan Campbell was preparing an avocado for lunch one day when she was struck by the beauty of the pit inside. After weeks of pondering its potential (people really have time to spend weeks pondering an avocado pit???), a deeply pigmented surface scratch inspired her to carve away its layers until a beautiful piece of art appeared.

Ever since that day, the Irish artisan has been turning avocado pits (or ‘stones,’ as she calls them) into tiny, intricately detailed figurines inspired by Celtic folklore. She carves the tranquil faces of forest spirits, the flowing hair of ancient goddesses, and even a handful of wild mushrooms now and then.

Though I mock, I must admit that this is actually pretty, and will certainly last longer than the carving done from the fruit itself.  Yes, the avocado is technically a fruit, and even more specifically, a single-seeded berry. Who knew?

You can view more of Jan’s carvings , but I warn you … the one pictured above goes for €111.00, or about $127 USD, so don’t become too attached!

Monday-avocado-4


Friends …

Kathryn Ryckman of Boerne, Texas posted two videos of friends, Maizey, a 10-year-old Labrador Retriever, and Bailey, a horse of unknown age.  The two are long-time friends, as you will see in these two short clips:


Let us wrap it up with a few more of those funny signs …

Monday-sign-2

174 km is about 108 miles … very helpful in case of emergency!

Monday-sign-5

Monday-sign-1

Sorry folks, I just couldn’t resist …


Okay, folks … I am sorry to tell you this, but it is that time, once again.  Awwww …. don’t look so sad … be thankful that at least you are not having to don coats, hats and gloves to go out and shovel the drive … well, except for my friends in Australia, where it is now winter.  I hope everyone has a wonderful week … try not to let things get you down this week … remember that there is always something, usually many things to be thankful for.  Keep smiling, and keep sharing the smiles … keep safe and have a great week!

Monday-wisdom-1

 

World Laughter Day

Laughter.  If you’re like me, you’ve had very little of that in your life lately.  Frankly, when a laugh unexpectedly pops out, it rather surprises me … an unrecognized, rather rusty sound … and I find myself looking around … wha-whazzat?

Well, despite all the news, today is World Laughter Day, so you might as well pack up those scowls and frowns for a day, for we are gonna laugh!  The news will still be there tomorrow.

Laughing is one the cheapest and by far the most pleasant form of therapy in the world. It has the power to heal not only your soul but also your body. It relaxes your whole body, relieves physical tension and boosts your immune. It works as an antidote for pain, stress, and conflict. Nothing works faster to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh.

Laughter is a universal language. It inspires hope, connects you to others. It keeps you grounded, focused, and alert. It also helps you release anger and forgive sooner.  Just a simple smile or slight giggle can completely alter the atmosphere and mood of the surroundings. Laughter has the power to heal and renew.  According to one study, laughter improves the function of blood vessels. It increases the blood flow, protects you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.

Hence, to mark the importance of laughter, World Laughter Day is celebrated on the first Sunday of May every year.  The World Laughter Day was first celebrated on May 10, 1998, in Mumbai, India. The day was arranged by Dr. Madan Kataria, founder of the worldwide Laughter Yoga movement.  Dr. Kataria is a family doctor in India who was inspired to start the Laughter Yoga movement in part by the facial feedback hypothesis, which postulates that a person’s facial expressions can have an effect on their emotions.

And now, rather than talking about laughing … Let Us Laugh!!!


I was waiting at a small train station when a man put up a sign regarding my train: “30-Minute Delay.” “What happened?” I asked. “The train went off the rails,” he said. “How long will that take to fix?” “Quite a few hours.” “So why put up a sign saying it would take 30 minutes?” “It’s the only sign we have.”


Our booking office had three phones. One day during lunch, I was responsible for answering all of them. It was a constant repeat of “May I help you?” or “Will you hold?” I guess I got confused because I surprised one man on the other end of the line when I answered his call with, “May I hold you?”


Man: CAN I HAVE A BURGER AND CHIPS?

Librarian: This is a library!

Man: (whispers) Can I have a burger and chips?


joke-1joke-2meme-1toon-1toon-2toon-3toon-4toon-5toon-6

 


Well, friends, I hope you at least smiled, or maybe even chuckled … without Jolly to help, I don’t always do humour well, and Jolly, as it happens, is off on a picnic with his girlfriend Joyful!

Jollys girlfriend Joyful    picnic    jolly

Saturday’s Snarky Snippets

nightmareThe weekend is here and one of my readers told me I should ‘relax’.  Relax???  What the heck is that?  I’ve got laundry to do, need to get out and get some Mother’s Day cards, and just because it’s a weekend, the news cycle doesn’t stop … there is still much out there to stir my ire and make me snarky (or perhaps snarky is just my natural personality?).  So, here are a couple of snippets for you to ponder upon …


Last year, various committees of the House of Representatives sought witness testimony from people in the know about Trump’s gross negligence and abuse of power.  They asked people to please come and testify, under oath.  Few did.  They issued subpoenas.  Few were honoured.  Why?  Because Donald Trump ordered them not to testify.  A few found their cojones and testified anyway, but very few.  First, this was an abuse of power, but since he has surrounded himself with ‘yes-men’, he got by with it.  But more to the point, if you have nothing to hide, then why on earth would you stop people from testifying honestly and clearing your name?  Thus, the only conclusion was that Donald Trump was a corrupt, likely criminal person who holds the highest office in the land, despite having lost the election by nearly 3 million votes.

fauciWhy, you ask, am I re-hashing old territory?  Because it’s happening again.  The House Appropriations Committee, looking into the government’s bungled response to the coronavirus, requested testimony by Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases.  Dr. Fauci has been a prominent figure, until recently, at Trump’s daily ‘press briefings’ and has been the only one willing to correct Trump’s erroneous statements, the only one willing to tell the public the truth.  But … Trump will not allow Dr. Fauci to testify.  The committee is looking into the government’s response to the coronavirus pandemic, the chaos that followed Trump’s obfuscation and lies, the resulting excessive deaths that might not have happened, if the leader of the nation had used halfway good judgment.  For Trump to forbid Dr. Fauci from testifying is yet another example of obstruction of justice and abuse of power, but … that is the norm for this administration.  Are we really willing to, as Mick Mulvaney suggested we should, just “get over it”?  I’m not.

fauci-2From what I’ve seen, Dr. Fauci seems to be a straight shooter who isn’t afraid to tell the truth, who isn’t afraid to correct or contradict Trump.  I would like to think that he will do the right thing and voluntarily testify, despite Trump’s orders.  Will he?  Does he have cojones, or is he just another coward like Don McGahn, Wilbur Ross, and others whose loyalties lie directly to Donald Trump, and not the people of this nation?


White House press secretaries … ho-hum

In past administrations, there have been some very reputable people in the position of White House Press Secretary.  Not so in the Trump administration.  It began with Sean Spicer who was the first in the administration, on inauguration day, to utter an ‘alternative fact’, to be defined as such the next day by the ignominious Kellyanne Conway.  Sean said the crowds for Trump’s inauguration were the biggest ever, or bigger than Obama’s in 2009, or some such nonsense which was so far from the truth as to be laughable.

Then came the hateful Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who defended the indefensible for nearly two years.  If Trump said “Jump!”, she asked, “How high, sir?”  Presumably it took a toll on her and she left in July of 2019.

Next up was Melania’s personal servant, Stephanie Grisham who held the title and received the pay for nine months, but never held the first press briefing, and in fact turned her nose up at reporters and screeched at them like a banshee.  She really doesn’t even count, except that We the People paid her out of our own hard-earned tax dollars.

mcenanyAnd now, we have a new one … rather an idiot, if you ask me.  Her name is Kayleigh McEnany and she held her first press briefing yesterday.  Now, she started out by promising that there would be more press briefings than there have been for the past year.  Um … there have been none for the past 13 months, so she already beat that average.  She also made another ‘promise’ …

“I will never lie to you. You have my word on that.”

laughing-gif

And then she proceeded to tell a lie, that the Mueller investigation had amounted to “the complete and total exoneration of  … Trump.”  And then she told another lie, referring to “salacious, awful and verifiably false allegations that were made against Justice Kavanaugh.”  And another that “not a single American has died for lack of a ventilator.”  After a few more lies and misquotes, she ended with …

“Everyone should watch the Fox News town hall with the president from 7 to 9 p.m. [on Sunday]. It will be can’t-miss television, much like the highly rated President Trump coronavirus task force briefings have been.”

I would rather take a bath in a puddle of pig manure than waste two hours of my life watching that crap!  And “highly rated … briefings”?????  They have been the brunt of jokes and criticisms, for they have not been briefings, but campaign rallies, ego trips for the Oaf in the Oval Office!  Ms. McEnany fits right in with the concept of Trump staff … no concept of the difference between fact and fiction, and a blind loyalty to a ‘man’ who deserves none.  My prediction is that she will be even more obnoxious and disgusting than Sarah Huckabee Sanders was, and that’s a pretty tough act to beat.


Well, folks, it’s Saturday, so I will stop at only two snippets today and leave you with a ‘toon.  Have a happy weekend!toon

Still More Snarky Snippets …

These days so much is wrong in this country-that-I-once-called-home that it’s hard to confine my snark to simple snark without taking it into a full-fledged rant, but I shall try …


AG Barr wants you … to die!

The not-so-honourable U.S. District Attorney Bill Barr is threatening to sue states that are trying to protect their citizens.  Yep, you heard me right.  Said Barr in his two-page letter to the 93 U.S. Attorneys …

“Many policies that would be unthinkable in regular times have become commonplace in recent weeks, and we do not want to unduly interfere with the important efforts of state and local officials to protect the public. But the Constitution is not suspended in times of crisis.”

WHOA … Back it up there, Billy Boy!!!  Then just how in the Sam Hell is it that Donald Trump, that ‘man’ you said was above the law, was able to suspend the U.S. Constitution to give himself additional powers that would have our Founding Fathers clutching their heads as they rolled around in their graves???  So, our state government doesn’t have the right to keep us safe, but Trump has the right to incite riots, to siphon funds earmarked for other causes to his abominable ‘wall’, and he stands in front of television cameras broadcasting to at least 50-60 people and says he has “total authority”?

My recommendation for Mr. Barr is that he pick up a copy of the U.S. Constitution and actually sit on his fat ass and actually read the thing … all 8,000 words!

As much as I am a fighter, as much as I chafe at being ‘told’ or ‘ordered’ to do something … yes, a stubborn wench I am … I still have a bit of common sense that says if Trump/Barr have their way, every bloomin’ one of us will end up with the coronavirus by the end of June.  Some will survive, some won’t.  Laura Ingraham made the statement a few days ago that death is just part of life.  In other words – oh well … as long as she and other shallow-minded people can go back to shopping and getting drunk in bars, what are a few million lives?

Barr-toadie

Look at that grin … I think he enjoys being a toadie!!!

No doubt this directive came from the fool in the Oval Office, as he is chomping at the bit to get everything “opened back up”, thinking that the economy will just pick right back up where it left off in early March and he can toot his horn and win the election in November.  Ain’t gonna happen.  It will be years before the economy fully rebounds … hopefully long after Donald Trump is naught but a little urn of ashes sitting on Melania’s dresser.


Time to put ol’ Mitch out to pasture …

As I noted yesterday, Trump is playing a game of “pick-and-choose” over which states should receive federal aid, the criteria being whether they play nice with Trump, praise him and agree with him in all things, or at least pretend to.  But the idea actually started last week with none other than the cruel Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell.  McConnell suggested that the states should just go bankrupt if they run out of money after paying billions in unemployment claims, and more billions to treat coronavirus victims.  Well, McConnell’s idea didn’t go over so well with most anybody, including his own fellow republicans in both the House and Senate.

The governor of Mitchie’s own state, Kentucky, even stood up to him … that takes some guts and Governor Beshear deserves a round of applause!  New York Governor Andrew Cuomo put it in context …

“Don’t say state and local. Say what the state and local governments fund: police, fire, teachers, hospital workers. Funds small business but also fund police, fire, school teachers, and hospital workers. How can you exclude them when you’re talking about priorities?”

Priorities, indeed!  Funny, isn’t it, that McConnell is all too willing to fund a worthless wall on the southern border costing hundreds of billions of dollars, but he’s not willing to help struggling states keep their public schools open or police, fire and hospital workers on the job.  Methinks ol’ Mitchie has outlived his usefulness in Congress, for he has forgotten that PEOPLE are the priority, seems to have forgotten that the government exists for the PEOPLE!  I do sincerely hope that Kentuckians have the good sense to put Mitch McConnell out to pasture this November … it is long past time!


Return to ‘business as usual’?  I think not

I saw this brief snippet in the New York Times this morning:

China’s Factories Are Back. Its Consumers Aren’t.

The manufacturing giant is once again turning out steel and cellphones. But job losses and pay cuts have left its people reluctant to spend — a problem the U.S. and Europe may soon face, too.

I have said the same a few times in recent weeks.  You can open a business, produce a product, but in these times of uncertainty, the wise and sensible among us aren’t going to rush out and buy, buy, buy.  This is one of a few reasons that Trump’s plan to get everything opened up and running full steam isn’t going to work.  First, one doesn’t just snap their fingers and all of a sudden restaurants have plenty of food, factories have all their raw materials and workers in place, ready to fire up those assembly lines.  It doesn’t work that way.  But even once the factories are rolling out new gadgets and the restaurants have turned their sign to “Open”, the customers will return slowly … very slowly.

open-signPeople have been out of work, living on unemployment which is, at the most, about 66% of average income.  People are still frightened of catching the coronavirus which, as medical experts are telling us, will be a valid concern at least throughout the summer.  And people have seen from the past two month’s experience that … anything can happen.  The sensible will start beefing up their savings rather than spending money on non-essentials such as dining out, new clothes, new appliances.

Nope, folks, there will be no quick return to ‘business as usual’, no matter how much Donald Trump, William Barr, and the foolish gun-totin’ protestors would like it to be so.  All they are doing is putting more lives in danger.


I haven’t done a cartoon post for quite a while, nor am I likely to anytime soon, for frankly even the great talent of the political cartoonists cannot make me find anything humorous about life today, but here’s one that I at least grinned at …

pol-toon

Jolly Monday — Fun For Everyone!

Good morning and welcome to Jolly Monday!  How was your … weekend?  Was that really a weekend?  Hmmmm … seems to me it wasn’t much different than any other day, except I didn’t have to cook.  Ah well, Monday and back to the routine.  Luckily, our treats came out better than last week, though Jolly and I were talking, and we decided that some of you … not mentioning any names … have been putting on a few pounds during the last month-and-a-half of stay-at-home-and-munch, so we lightened our menu just a bit, made it slightly more healthy — but don’t worry, there’s still bacon!  So, grab a snack and we’ll find something to start this week off with a smile!


It would seem that some people are bored these days, what with no shops open, no jobs to go to, etc.   Some have found the oddest activities to pursue …

Jack Peagam of London, UK, went on a 24-hour clapping marathon last week.  Apparently in the UK, every Thursday at 8 p.m., people all over the U.K. participate in the “Clap For Our Carers” campaign. They take part in a communal show of gratitude by clapping to those helping in the fight against the pandemic from their doorsteps, balconies and windows.  But Peagam wanted to clap longer, and so when the rest stopped clapping after a few minutes, Jack kept clapping … and clapping … for 24 hours!

No, not for a Guinness World record, but just … out of boredom, I think, though all that clapping wasn’t wasted, for Jack started a GoFundMe that collected £7,930, or $9,788.11 USD to be donated to the National Health Service Charities.  Says Jack …

“It was physically painful, mentally draining and exhausting, but if the NHS are working 24 hours a day to save us then clapping for 24 hours to raise money seemed a small price for what they do and see day and night. I can’t express my gratitude enough to our carers in the NHS, especially during these tough times.”

Well, I can’t deny it was for a good cause anyway.

**********

And then there was Dmitry Yakukhny of the Primorye region in Russia.  Dmitry had been training for nine months to compete in a 155-mile race through the desert in Morocco, but the event was postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic.  So, what does one do when their big event is canceled and they’re stuck at home?  Well, if you’re Dmitry, you run around the bed!

He didn’t quite run 155 miles around his bed, but he did run 62 miles in 10 hours, 19 minutes.

Whew … makes me tired just watching him!

**********

And here in the U.S., David Rush and his buddy Jonathan Hannon kept boredom at bay by beating the Guinness World Record for … wait for it … catching tennis balls in a basket placed on a person’s head.  Yep, you heard me right … look for yourself …

Rush held the basket on his head while Hannon threw tennis balls for a full minute. Hannon threw a total 123 tennis balls in the allotted time, and Rush caught 98 of them. The men said they beat the previous record of 79 catches.

**********

Personally, I can honestly say I have not had a single bored second during this pandemic, and have been working harder than ever.  But, if I were to get bored, I really think I’d rather simply sit down with a cuppa coffee and a good book and have a read-a-thon!  What all these guys did looks too much like work!


How ‘bout a few toons for a chuckle or two?

toon-1toon-2toon-3toon-4toon-5toon-6toon-7toon-8toon-9

meme-1meme-2meme-3


And last, but not least, it just isn’t Jolly Monday without a cute critter vid …

jolly


Keep safe, my friends, and if you get bored staying at home, get outside and go for a long walk, commune with the birds and squirrels, or read a book … please don’t spend 10 hours running ‘round your bed or 24 hours clapping (you’ll get blisters on your hands).  And when you do run into someone at the grocery or the bank, remember to share your smile … it’s priceless.

Jolly Monday … Stuff ‘n More Stuff

Neither fools nor angst nor Trump nor rabbit holes stay Jill & Jolly from bringing humour to their friends.

And thus, here we are, a bit ruffled, a bit worn and torn, but nonetheless doing what we can to find humour amid the rubble.

We apologize, but you’ll find the smorgasbord a bit limited today … no sweets, for I have run out of sugar and apparently there was a run on it, as there is none at the grocery.  And no bacon, for the store had only one brand and it was $6.99 a pound!!!  When the day comes that I pay $7 for a lousy pound of bacon, you’ll know I’ve lost the last of my marbles!  I best be careful, though, for I remember back in the early 1970s when I made the claim that I would never pay $1 for a gallon of gasoline!

Anyway, I asked Jolly to scrounge around in the pantry and see what he could find, so grab a bite, a cuppa, and let’s see if we can find a chuckle somewhere in here, shall we?

JOLLY!!!!  You weren’t supposed to take a bit of everything!  And … onions?  Oh Jolly, you even spilt the coffee!  Sigh … ah well, you did the best you could.  Sorry, folks … there’s a Taco Bell just across the street if you’d like to go get a snack.  We’ll do better next week!


Beer please?

Olive Veronesi is 93 and lives alone in the tiny community of Seminole, Pennsylvania, population 84.  Seminole used to have their own post office, until it closed in September 2002, but they do still have their own zip code!  Now, my friend Herb lives in Pennsylvania, though not Seminole, and from him I know that Governor Wolf ordered all liquor stores shut down last month, saying they aren’t considered an ‘essential business’.  Some might argue that point.  Anyway … I digress.

Last week, Olive ran out of … beer!  GASP!!!  She was seen holding a sign from her window …Olive-beerNews station KDKA-TV shared a photo on Facebook where it went viral (some people have far too much time on their hands these days!).  Several neighbors offered to get her some beer, but the real kicker was when Coors Light said in a Twitter post that Veronesi would soon be receiving some beer directly from the company! Olive-CoorsHmmmm … I wonder … if I stand in my window with my empty wine bottle and a sign, do you think the company might send me a case?


Emergency???

There are many reasons one might call 9-1-1, or in the UK, 9-9-9.  A burglary in progress, someone having a heart attack, a missing child, domestic violence.  But this was a new one, and I cannot begin to imagine the thought processes of the person who called the emergency police number.

It happened in the UK when a call came in to the Essex Police Department’s emergency number.  The caller wished to report that he/she could hear a neighbor … snoring.  Yep, folks … snoring.snoreNow, my neighbors have a teenage son, and sometimes he likes the music a bit loud … um, to the point it shakes the pictures on my walls, but even so, I would not call 9-1-1!!!  Sheesh.

The police advised the caller that “snoring is never a reason to call 999, no matter how annoying it is.”  Here, the caller would likely have been fined, and rightly so!


Oops!

Volunteer firefighter Charles Calvin of New Chicago, Indiana (not to be confused with plain ol’ Chicago in Illinois) needed to withdraw $200 from the ATM to do a bit of shopping last weekend.  So, while he was at it, he thought he would check and see if his $1,700 stimulus check had been deposited to his account yet.  Imagine his surprise when the machine spit out a receipt that said his balance was $8.2 million!  Needless to say, there was a mistake and the bank sorted it all on Monday.  Charles said he wasn’t sure if the error was on the part of his bank, or by the IRS as they arranged the direct deposit of his check.  I’m betting the latter.  Said Charles …

“It kind of sucks. You go from being a millionaire one second then back to being broke again. But hey, once you’re poor you don’t have anywhere else to go but up.”


And Oops again!

Nick Blanusha of plain ol’ Chicago in Illinois (not to be confused with New Chicago in Indiana) also had a financial oops last week!  He went to the grocery store to pick up the order he had placed online earlier, and paid for the order totaling $90.96 with his debit card.

“I signed the receipt got in my car and then went home to check my bank account to see if my stimulus check had hit and, uh, noticed that it was empty. And I looked back at the receipt and noticed I had been charged $11,500.”

He immediately contacted the store but was told it would take up to five business days to refund the money to his account!!!  At this point, I would have been at the store cracking some heads!

Nick, however, did a very smart thing (most people are smarter than me in such situations) and contacted Chicago television station WLS-TV.  Funny how well that worked!  It wasn’t long before Nick received a call from the grocery store’s corporate offices, apologizing profusely and the very next day, refunded the entire amount of the charge, including the $90.96 for his order.  Plus, they promised to pay any overdraft fees he might incur as a result of the error.


Just enough time left for some ‘toons ‘n memes … let’s see what we can find over at Phil’s Phun

toon-1toon-2toon-3toon-4toon-5toon-6toon-7toon-8

meme-7meme-6meme-5meme-4meme-3

meme-2

No, I swear this is not me!!!

meme-1


And last, but certainly not least, we’ve got time for a short cute animal video … you’ll love this one!


This one’s for Hugh … thought you might need this today, my friend!

MaxineMonday-famous-grouse


jollyHave a great decent week, my friends … get outside, enjoy the beauty of nature, go for long walks … anything to take your mind off of … stuff.  Much love and many hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!

Trump vs W.H.O. … And Other Tidbits

For over three years, Donald Trump has seemed intent on turning against our allies, while pandering to those who are our adversaries.  At first, he only tarnished our reputation abroad and we were the laughingstock of the western world.  But then, he began doing things such as pulling out of treaties and agreements that were working to keep the world safer, touting his ridiculous “America First” policy, and the world stopped laughing.  This week, he may have driven a final nail in the coffin when, in the middle of a global pandemic with thousands of people dying every day, he cut off U.S. funding to the World Health Organization.

Why???  Because he f*cked up so badly in his own response to the coronavirus that he now needs someone else to blame.  It’s called CYA, or Cover Your Ass.  It’s also called stupid. It’s rather like shooting your surgeon in the middle of your heart surgery, or burning down your house in the middle of a blizzard.

“Now is the time for unity and for the international community to work together in solidarity to stop this virus and its shattering consequences, not the time to reduce the resources for the operations of the World Health Organization or any other humanitarian organization in the fight against the virus.” – United Nations Secretary General António Guterres

“Cutting funding to the WHO — rather than focusing on solutions — is a dangerous move at a precarious moment for the world. The AMA is deeply concerned by this decision and its wide-ranging ramifications, and we strongly urge the President to reconsider.” – Statement by the American Medical Association (AMA)

And numerous world leaders spoke out against the foolish move, as well.  The ultimate irony here is that Trump claims to be cutting off funding because he says WHO’s “severely mismanaging and covering up”, when it is Trump’s own mismanaging and covering up, his bungling response for the first two months, that has led to unnecessary loss of life.  And even today, he is putting profit ahead of people by threatening to ‘re-open’ the country by May 1st, come hell or high water, even threatening and bullying states’ governors who are planning to proceed with caution, despite Trump’s wishes.

This was another foolish move by a ‘man’ who does not understand much of anything outside his own bank account, nor does he care about much other than his own profit & pleasure.  One example … at yesterday’s ‘press briefing’, in defense of his desire to reopen the nation quickly, he said …

“We have to get our sports back. I’m tired of watching baseball games that are 14 years old.  But I haven’t actually had too much time to watch. I would say maybe I watch one batter then I get back to work.”

Awww … pobrecito!

Nicholas Kristof’s column today, titled Trump’s Deadly Search For A Scapegoat, provides further enlightenment … please take a minute to check it out!


Meanwhile … in other news

This was the scene this morning in Chicago …Chicago-icePortions of a Chicago expressway left icy by a wintry blast that brought overnight snowfall led to a pileup involving of dozens of vehicles early Wednesday, sending 14 people to hospitals, officials said.Chicago-ice-2About 50 vehicles were involved in the 5 a.m. pileup along the Kennedy Expressway, the Chicago Fire Department said. The crash prompted Illinois State Police to close all of the expressway’s southbound lanes near Chicago’s North Avenue for about three hours, and multiple northbound lanes also were closed temporarily.

Chicago fire officials said 14 people were transported to area hospitals and 32 others were evaluated at the scene.Chicago-ice-3Makes it a bit hard to believe it’s mid-April, doesn’t it?


Remember I mentioned in one or the other of my snarky snippets last week that Trump was insisting his name be the signatory on the stimulus checks that will be going out to individuals?  Well, the egomaniac got his way – sort of.  According to The Washington Post

The Treasury Department has ordered President Trump’s name printed on stimulus checks the Internal Revenue Service is rushing to send to tens of millions of Americans, a process that could slow their delivery by a few days, senior IRS officials said.

The unprecedented decision, finalized late Monday, means that when recipients open the $1,200 paper checks the IRS is scheduled to begin sending to 70 million Americans in coming days, “President Donald J. Trump” will appear on the left side of the payment.

Turns out that Trump is not legally authorized to sign for legal disbursements by the U.S. Treasury, so he had to settle for his name on the left-hand side of the checks.  It is a marketing ploy, in hopes that people will remember his name on the check come November 3rd, but surely the people of this nation are smart enough to realize it is their own money they are receiving?  Aren’t they?  Please?


Let’s wrap up with a bit of humour …

King-DonnietoonTrump-titanic

Jolly Monday With Smiles 😊

Welcome to yet another Monday, another excuse to be jolly!  Okay, so maybe that’s a stretch, but … I think we might be able to find something to chuckle about, don’t you?  But first, grab a snack and a cuppa … after last week’s fiasco with Jolly in the kitchen, I did all the cooking this morning.


Cardening anyone?

Some people, idled by the pandemic, are finding creative things to do around the house.  John Brayshaw of Spen Valley, West Yorkshire in the UK was one such person.  He bought the house where he lives just six months ago and had been planning to build a deck in the garden.  So, last week he began digging post holes and … you’ll never guess what he found under his garden … c’mon, take a wild guess!  Nope, not a dead body.  Nope, not a stash of drugs.  A car!  Yep, that’s right …

“I had all the materials ready and I needed to do something to put my brain back into action. I was just sat in the house watching the news and it was frying my brain. So I thought let’s start this decking, I never for a second thought I’d find anything like this. I was digging post panels for my decking and I hit something hard, so I started doing some digging around it. I’d say the hole it is in 7ft deep, 10ft long and 5ft wide. car-1It’s really weird. It’s not something you find every day – it is literally in the middle of my garden. It’s one of those things that you literally have to see it to believe it. I was like ‘what on earth is this?’ I thought it was an old air raid shelter at first, then I saw the roof and I thought ‘who’d bury the roof of a car?’ Then I kept digging at saw the door, the steering wheel and realised it was a full car complete with the registration plate. The only thing that was missing was the wheels.car-2I’ve been told that at the end of world war two there was an influx of people that used to work for the Secret Service. It has also been suggested to me that the colour of the car is known as ‘RAF grey’. The house has got a full cellar, which is under a trap door. I can’t find a trace of the registration plate anywhere and there seems to be no record of the car available, which is weird as well.”

I sense a story here!


Making the best of the situation

A bakery in Finland says business is rolling in after it introduced a cake shaped like toilet paper. The bakery in Helsinki was at risk of financial ruin last month after all its orders were canceled. The coronavirus pandemic took a serious toll on business at the same time people in Finland were hoarding toilet paper.tp-cakeThe bakery’s owner did some quick thinking and turned things around. You might say it’s cleaning up. The first five toilet paper cakes sold within an hour and the cake became a social media hit. The bakery now has hundreds of orders. Its owner was even able to add two extra people to her nine-member team.

Baker owner Sanna Lampinen said, “For us it’s a game changer and I am relieved because I know that all my employees are safe for months now and I am hoping that the situation will stay.”cake-2The toilet paper cake is made of oat batter, passion fruit mousse and covered with white fondant, a thick, creamy sugar paste.


Happy kitties …

Cats are natural born climbers.  I know this because we have five of them, used to have ten, and it is not unusual to see them atop a bookshelf or other horizontal surface.  We used to have one who could jump all the way to the top of a 7-foot door and lie there for hours.  Our cats have a small condo, just two stories, and it’s only about 2 feet tall, so not enough of a challenge for them.  Most mornings I come downstairs to find pictures just slightly askew, or a bite out of the leaf of the house plant atop the entertainment center.  So, when I saw this creation …cat-condo-1… I was mesmerized.  This creation was designed by Rob Coutu from Windsor, Connecticut, who has two cats, a red tabby and a Savannah cat.  Rob says that the Savannah likes the towers so much, she has taken over both of them and doesn’t want to let the tabby use them!  Sounds like our Tiger Lily.  Now, when Rob’s creation made the news on Bored Panda, many people owned by cats expressed such an interest that Rob decided to start selling the building plans.cat-condo-2I know my way around a hammer, saw and nails, and have built some decent bookshelves in my day, so I considered ordering a set of those plans and seeing what I could do.  Until I found out that the material cost for the project is still mounting, and currently stands somewhere around $3,500 plus the tons of labor he has put in.  We love our furry family members and there’s not much I wouldn’t do for them, but … $3,500???  No … just no.  Still, it is a marvelous creation, don’t you think?

cat-condo-3cat-condo-4cat-condo-5


How about some fun ‘toons for a few chuckles?toon-1toon-2toon-3toon-4toon-5toon-6toon-7toon-8toon-9


And lastly, a cute animal video …


And now, sadly, our time together must end, for I have chores to do, and I’m sure you do too.  Remember to share your smiles today, for these are tough times for everyone and you’d be amazed how much something as simple as a smile can brighten the day.  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!jolly

Monday-basket-smiles