The Trump Legacy … Potties!

Okay, folks … you all know by now how I feel about Donald Trump, right?  And you know that, in my ever-so-humble opinion, the man has not done one single thing right … perhaps in his entire life, but certainly since January 20th, 2017.  But … Filosofa must give credit where credit is due, and it turns out there is one industry that he has boosted over the top.  What is this, you ask.  The porta-potty industry!

President Trump vowed on the campaign trail to boost economic growth and be the “greatest jobs producer that God ever created.”

His economic legacy is far from sealed, but it’s safe to say he has made at least one industry flush: the Washington region’s portable toilet industry. – The Washington Post, 20 May 2017

Doesn’t it make perfect sense that Trump’s legacy will be that he boosted the toilet industry?

Turns out that the connection is all the protests that have taken place, are taking place, as a result of his policies and behaviour since entering the Oval Office.  The Women’s March on 21 January, for example, required some 600 port-a-potties, which was still insufficient, I am told.  Rob Weghorst, chief operating officer of Virginia-based portable toilet rental company Don’s Johns (don’t you just love the name?  🙂  ), said the increase in political advocacy — typically among protesters with left-leaning political affinities — has translated to boom times. His company provided toilets for the Women’s March, the People’s Climate March and others on the Mall this year.

pottie-2Weghorst isn’t complaining. “All I’m going to say is that we love the activism. I’ll leave it at that. It’s been good. It’s made for an interesting and lucrative spring.”

The National Park Service (NPS), which oversees the Mall, requires demonstration permit holders to provide one portable toilet for every 300 participants, 20 percent of which must be wheelchair-accessible. NPS said it has seen more than a 30 percent increase in permitted protests compared with this time last year, with some attracting tens of thousands of people.

Frederick Hill III, owner of the District-based Gotta Go Now (another catchy name!), says his port-a-potty company has seen about a 40 percent increase in revenue each month of 2017 compared with a year earlier. So far in May, business is running 50 percent ahead of last year. Depending on the bulk of the order, Gotta Go Now charges between $85 and $125 per toilet, including delivery and pickup.

Jordan Uhl, who is planning the June 3rd March For Truth, said that the potties will be his single largest expense, around $5,000.  Most who have contributed to the online funding campaign for this event probably had no idea that their money was going to rent toilets!

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Given the current state of the Trump administration, there is every reason to believe that protests will continue and draw increasingly huge (or is it yuge?) crowds, as more and more people are affected and become cognizant of the chaos Trump & Co. has made of our nation.  Thus … the demand for port-a-potties is not likely to diminish any time soon!  My advice?  Buy stock in Don’s Johns!  And as for Trump … well, never let it be said that he didn’t fill Washington D.C. with a bunch of … er … poop.

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One-way glass porta-pottie

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Just Another Jolly Monday …

Monday-alarmWAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!

You folks overslept and you are missing out on a beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful MONDAY MORNING!!!  I’ve been awake for hours (well, actually I’m writing this on Sunday afternoon, so I really have been awake for hours).  Did you enjoy your weekend?  Mine was so quiet you could hear a pin drop … daughter Chris was out of town at a band competition in Tennessee and Miss Goose was focused on her art, so except for the Significant Seven and their antics, the silence in this house was almost deafening.  Anyway, the weekend is over and it’s time to resume the routine, so let us find some fun things to start this week!

Grab your beverage of choice … I have a selection this week!

(don’t ask about the duck)

The cat’s name is Lord Bigglesworth, Mr. Biggles for short, and he is up for adoption.  I’m not sure how successful this venture will be, however, given the ad placed by Cat People of Melbourne rescue in Australia:

Mr Biggles (also known as Lord Bigglesworth) is an utter utter utter bastard. He looks gorgeous with his slinky shiny black fur and big yellow eyes… but beware. If he doesn’t like what you’re doing he will give you a nip! Sometimes he likes to swipe at your feet too. It just depends on what he can reach at the time.

Mr Biggles does not like to be thwarted. He throws a catty tantrum if he can’t go outside when he wants to be let out (and he wasn’t allowed outside for the first couple of weeks at his carers house so there was a few tantrums!). Not being fed on time, or allowed to strut across the kitchen benches helping himself to whatever is there is also a tantrum inducing exercise.

Mr Biggles is a despot and dictator, he will let you know he is not happy, which is often because things are often just not up to his high standards. There is some warning that Lord Bigglesworth is displeased with you, his eyes will go dark and tail will start swishing harder. Mr Biggles likes his cuddles on his terms, and will sit in your lap when he decides it’s time. If the stroking is not up to his standards, he will nip you.

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Lord Bigglesworth

Sounds like a lovely companion, don’t you think?  One of our Significant Seven would make a great companion for Mr. Biggles, for she is just like him … her name, inappropriately, is Tiger Lily, for when she was a babe, we knew not that she would turn into a terrorizer!

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Tiger-Lily in a rare peaceful moment

(don’t ask about the duck)

Remember back in March when I wrote about a woman who had crafted her wedding dress entirely from Taco Bell wrappers?  (♫ It’s The Most Wonderful Day Of The Week ♪)  Well … this ‘art’ of making wedding dresses from … er, shall we say, trash … seems to be becoming a trend.  Today I give you Emily Seilhamer,   a Pennsylvania woman who took it to an even higher level.  She fashioned her wedding dress from … wait for it … Starburst wrappers!

Monday-dress-1Yep, that little, tiny candy … care to guess how long it took her to collect enough wrappers for a dress?  Four years, and that was with help from friends and family!  But wait … there’s more.  After finally getting enough of the little ½” wrappers, Emily then organized them into colors, ironed them, folded them into links, and made candy wrapper chains. She ironed more than 10,000 Starburst wrappers!  First thing that came to my mind was, it’s a good thing she didn’t require a size 22 dress, else she would still be at the ironing board.

Monday-dress-ironAnd of course, the biggest question of all:  WHY???  Turns out that “My husband and I met when he offered me a pack of Starburst a few years before the project started. As his favorite candy he began to save grocery bags full of wrappers for me,” said Ms. Seilhamer.

And, for contributing to the dress by eating all those Starburst, hubby’s dentist is now able to afford a trip to the Bahamas!

(don’t ask about the duck)

Monday-carriage.jpgCharleston, South Carolina – a southern city with a leisurely pace, horse-drawn carriages seen on the streets.  Serene … peaceful … UNTIL last Thursday when a team of carriage horses was spooked, causing the driver to suffer a broken foot and people on the street to stop dead in their tracks.  What, you may ask, spooked the horses?  Well, folks, while we have been told by scientists that dinosaurs have been extinct for thousands of years … suspend your disbelief for just a moment, for it was none other than a Tyrannosaurus Rex that scared the horses, Yogi and Boo-Boo!  Hold on … I see you shaking your heads and rolling your eyes, thinking to yourself that Filosofa drank too much of that lovely red wine, but I kid you not!

Monday=dinoOkay, okay … turns out it was a person (a woman, as it were) dressed in a dinosaur costume, and there is some dispute about exactly what happened.  Some said that as the carriage passed by, the dinosaur began growling at the horses, thus spooking them and causing the carriage to strike an unoccupied vehicle, and the carriage driver to tumble out, falling under the wheel, which then ran over his foot.  Others, however, say the dinosaur was minding his own business and the horses were spooked, having always believed the creatures of yore to be extinct.  Either way, Yogi suffered only minor abrasions, Boo-Boo is fine and has had great fun telling the tale to his equine buddies back at the stable, and the unnamed driver will mend.

(don’t ask about the duck)

The majority of readers of this blog are not currently in the dating pool, but a few are, so I want to caution you to be careful what you do on a date … you could find yourself in court!

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Brandon Vezmar

Brandon Vezmar of Austin, Texas, is suing a woman for the $17.31 he spent on a date where he claims she texted throughout the movie they attended together. The lawsuit alleges the woman opened her phone to read and send text messages 10 to 20 times during the film, thereby “affecting his viewing experience”.  When he told her that her constant texting was driving him “a little bit nuts”, she responded, “I can’t not text my friend.”

Monday-texting-theaterOkay … Filosofa’s take on this:  First, if he were very good company, if she were truly interested in him, then texting her friend would be the last thing on her mind.  Second, if I had been in his shoes, I would have simply gotten up and walked out, gone home, and left her to wonder what went wrong.  And third … a lawsuit for $17.31????  Seriously????  Sounds to me like these two duds deserved each other!

(don’t ask about the duck)

And now, much as I hate to, I must send you on your jolly little ways … I’m sure you all have better things to do than sit and chuckle.  Wait … there’s something better to do than sit and chuckle?  But alas … in order to afford the electricity to keep that laptop going, you must go out there and earn a living.  I will return next Monday morning with more Jolly Monday for your viewing pleasure.  Meanwhile … go share that smile with a co-worker, neighbor, or even your boss!  Keep safe and have a wonderful week!

(don’t ask about the duck)

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Don’t ask about the duck!

Whiner-In-Chief

“I do whine because I want to win and I’m not happy about not winning and I am a whiner and I keep whining and whining until I win.” – Donald Trump to Chris Cuomo, 11 August 2015

So it should come as no surprise that he went off-script in today’s Coast Guard Academy commencement address to whine about the self-inflicted public opinion of the past few days:

“Never, ever, ever give up. Things will work out just fine. Look at the way I’ve been treated lately, especially by the media. No politician in history, and I say this with great surety, has been treated worse or more unfairly. You can’t let them get you down. You can’t let the critics and the naysayers get in the way of your dreams. I guess that’s, (we love you) thank you, I guess that’s why we won.” – Donald Trump in a commencement speech to graduates of the United States Coast Guard Academy, 17 May 2017

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During the commencement, Trump was presented with a ceremonial saber. Oh great … that’s all we need … a temperamental whiny narcissist with a lethal weapon in his tiny hands!

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Need I say more?

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A Monday Post … Without a Name?????

Monday-funny-2Today is a special day … it is the 20th Monday of the year 2017!  We have survived 19 of them already!  Give yourselves a hand and a pat on the back!  I hope you all enjoyed the weekend! I had a laid back weekend, just how I like it, so I have no funny stories to relate of my own.  However, as always, I challenge myself to find ways to brighten your Monday morn with a chuckle or two, so pull up a chair, grab your … coffee … and spend a few minutes with me here.

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A record-breaker …

World records are hard to set.  I’ve never set one, have you?  Seems that whatever one might want to do, somebody else has done first, like eating a 12 inch pizza in 23.62 seconds, or building a 13-foot-5-inch chocolate structure that weighed in at 22,458 pounds to create the heaviest chocolate sculpture of all time. Most of us are unlikely to set world records in our lifetime, but Ashrita Furman of New York holds over 200 Guinness records, has broken more than 600 in his lifetime, and is known as the holder of the most world records … ever.  One of his records was for ‘pushing an orange with his nose for one mile’. Okay … well … just last week he set yet another record. This is one that I do not advise you to try to break … just let Mr. Furman keep this record.  What did he do?  He broke the world record for extinguishing matches with tongue.  How many?  37 flaming matches within one minute.  OWWWW! The previous record, by the way, was 30.  This is one of those that I just have to ask … Why?

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You can see for yourself some of Ashrita Furman’s other very interesting records!  He is an interesting man, and I could easily write an entire post about him … perhaps I will one day soon.


A yabba-dabba doozy …

Poor 75-year-old Maureen of Kingston, Ontario, was ready to trade in her 2006 Chevrolet Uplander SUV, but ran into a bit of a glitch.  Turns out there was a lien against the vehicle by … wait for it … Fred and Pebbles Flintstone!  Documents listed the Flintstones address as 9 Yellow Brick Road, Markham, Ont. and included a birthdate of Jan. 1, 1950 for Pebbles.

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Hackers?  An angry friend or relative seeking revenge?  Nope … Ontario’s Ministry of Government and Consumer Services, as it turns out.  They were, at some point, as a means to test vehicle identification numbers in the government’s computer system, using fake names, but since they were never removed the lien remained on Maureen’s SUV. It took poor Maureen nine months and an attorney to clear up the lien, despite the fact that it was clearly the government’s error.

Progressive Conservative MPP Randy Hillier had some fun with it saying, “Clearly, we all knew this was an act of gross incompetence as everyone knows the Flintstones live on Rocky Road in Bedrock, U.S.A., and Fred drives a foot-mobile, not a 2006 Chev Uplander. How many more ‘Mystery Machines’ have had liens placed on them in the names of Scooby-Doo and the gang and other Saturday morning cartoon personalities?”

And another MP said privately, “if this mess happened to me I’d be sending Bamm-Bamm over.”

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Typos, typos, typos …

Typos … we all make them.  I generally catch mine, but every now and then one slips through and my friend H, who has a Pacman sitting on his shoulder, always catches them.  But my typos and yours aren’t quite as widely viewed as one on, say, a sign that hundreds or even thousands of people pass every day.  And the ultimate humiliation?

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The above sign was placed near the entrance to North Branford High School in Connecticut in August 2016. It remained in place until last week, because all the educators … teachers, principals, administrators … failed to notice that the word ‘entrance’ had an extra ‘E’.  They were finally informed by a local radio show host.  School Superintendent Scott Schoonmaker said, “I’ve probably driven by that sign a thousand times, but you’re not paying attention you’re coming and going.”  The sign has since been taken down and will be auctioned for charity.

Need we ask again why young people today cannot spell?


Rooftop decoration?

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His name is Huckleberry and he likes to be on the roof.  Simple, okay?  Who doesn’t like to get away from it all sometimes?  And who doesn’t occasionally enjoy seeing ‘the bigger picture’?  Huckleberry is quite capable of getting both onto and off of the roof, but neighbors continually knock on the front door to let Huck’s people know that he is on the roof.  After a time, they got a mite tired of being notified and put up this sign …

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Now I’m thinking that if they could convince him to wear a Santa suit come December, they would have a ready-made Christmas display!


Finally, the joke of the week:

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.'”


Alrighty, folks … I’ve got work to do and so do you, so let’s rinse the coffee mugs, be thankful you don’t need your winter coat, hat, gloves and scarves, and head on out the door.  Remember to pass that smile along as you go through the day.  Somewhere in your journeys, you will cross paths with somebody who really needs one!  Keep safe and have a great Monday!

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♫ Happy ♪ Happy ♫ Monday ♪ Morning ♫

Good Monday Morning, dear friends!  Yes, it is that time once again.  Time to start a new week, but take heart, for we all know that it will go by far too quickly and in the blink of an eye we will be saying, “what, it’s Friday already???  Where did the week go?”  Let us, as always, begin our week on the right foot … or the left … but either way, let us have a laugh or two, a chuckle to put us in a happy mood, and a smile that we can share with those who were not fortunate enough to read Filosofa’s Word.  Grab your coffee … see, I even made you cinnamon rolls …and pull up a chair …

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How much does it cost to get rid of a couple of opossums in your back yard?  Well, in the case of one Lancaster, Pennsylvania man, about $50,000.

Monday-OpossumThe man was upset by an opossum or two in his backyard, and also claimed to have been having trouble with bees whenever he stepped out, so he got the not-so-brilliant idea to scare both opossum and bees with a little bit of smoke.  The man, who remains unnamed, built a fire using dried leaves and charcoal starter fluid and … turns out he built the fire close to the house, which was made of wood, and … well, the rest is history.  The house has since been condemned, the fire ruled accidental, and the man … no word … I think he is still hiding from the landlord, or perhaps has moved to Tampico to escape the shame.

There is one final comment I could make on this, but since it is ‘No-Politics’ Monday, I shall behave.

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Think about this one for a minute.  You are a woman who has worked hard selling household electronics to save enough money for a long-desired trip to Panama.  You have saved between $7,000 and $9,000, surely enough for your dream trip, and you are so excited.  Until … your husband comes along and demands his share of the loot.  Now, I don’t know whether hubby helped her earn the money, or if he was just assuming community property laws, but he demanded a cut.  So, what does wifey do?  She eats the money, of course!  Yes, yes … you read that right … she swallowed between 70 and 90 $100 bills, then complained of severe stomach pain (may I say, ‘duh’) and had to be rushed into surgery.

Monday-money.jpgSurgeons were able to rescue 57 of the bills in redeemable condition, the rest were … well, I shall leave that to your imagination.  Her reason?  She wanted to get revenge on her husband.  Oh yes, I’m sure he is devastated!  Police are holding on the the $5,700 until they can verify that the woman was not attempting to smuggle the cash. This, folks, is one of those cases where the woman had more money than brains!


Thirty-four members of a drug gang were arrested last week in Sardinia and Northern Italy.  The raid involved hundreds of officers (not too efficient … hundreds of officers to arrest 34 people?).  But it wasn’t a drug bust … it was a … body bust?  The gang had been planning for a year-and-a-half to rob the grave of famed automaker Enzo Ferrari and hold it for ransom!  Ferrari died in 1988 and was buried in a tomb alongside his father in Modena, in central Italy.  The tomb even has a model Ferrari perched on top!

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In addition to the 34 arrests, at least 11 other people are under further investigation after officers also seized an unspecified but large amount of cocaine and arms.  The ringleader, Graziano Mesina, has been in prison since December on other charges.  It was during the latest investigation of Graziano, the one that landed him in the slammer, that the police got wind of the plot to steal Ferrari’s body and demand ransom from the Ferrari family.  Good police work, but wouldn’t you think that with over a year to plan, the crooks could have done a better job if it?  Dumb and dumber.


In the beginning of time, people had hands with which to eat.  Then in parts of Asia, chopsticks were invented.  Eventually, forks, spoons and knives came into being in countries where people could not get the knack of using chopsticks.  Actually, forks are the more recent, dating only back to the late 16th, early 17th century.  Spoons, however, may date back to 1000 b.c.e.  Then, some wiseacre decided to combine the spoon and the fork and call it a ‘spork’.  Sheesh.

monday-golden-archesBut now … a spoon, fork, knive, chopsticks and spork weren’t enough for they of the golden arches … nooooooo … they had to devise yet one more eating utensil … a ‘frork’.  grumble … grumble … grouse … grumble …

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The red silicone utensil has three holes into which one can insert real french fries, so that the fries stand in as the fork’s edible “prongs.” Then, the diner can carry on, scooping up wayward condiments and eating them with the “Frork.” Oh My Sainted Aunt! (thanks, Roger!)


I came across this joke, and it made me laugh, so I’m hoping it will make you laugh too!

Monday-pirateA pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.”

“What do you mean?” said the pirate, “I feel fine.”

“What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”

“Well,” said the pirate, “We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.”

The bartender replied, “Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?”

The pirate explained, “We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I’m fine, really..”

“What about that eye patch?” “Oh,” said the pirate, “One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye.”

“You’re kidding,” said the bartender. “You couldn’t lose an eye just from bird shit.”

“Well, it was my first day with the hook.”


Okay, folks … if you didn’t get a chuckle today, drop me a line and I will send you a refund, okay?  For it is always my goal to make you smile on Monday mornings!  Now don those rain boots, hats and umbrellas, and let us go, in the words of a Truman supporter in 1948, “Give ’em hell, Harry!”  Have a safe and happy week, and share that smile!!!

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‘Tis The Day Before Tuesday, And We All Shall … Smile?

Welcome .. please, come in and share a bit of Monday morning with me … bring your own coffee, though.  It has been a rather gloomy weekend for Filosofa.  Thunderstorms have hung around all weekend, which I really don’t mind, but a little sunshine might have been nice.  My daughter was out of town on a trip to Virginia Beach for four days, and of course we missed her, since she is the only one in the family that actually talks every now and then!  But more practically, it meant double-duty on such things as litter-box scooping and trash-taking-out for Miss Goose and me.  Add to that a few other stresses, and all in all I am ready for Monday! I shall do my best to be funny, but if you detect some snarkiness somewhere, just chalk it up to climate change.  Now grab your coffee … Hugh and I will be having …

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Wedding guests for rent …

Do you know someone who is planning a wedding but having trouble finding guests who are willing to spend an entire day in fancy clothes just to watch them mumble a few words and share a kiss?  Well, if they live in Oregon, I just might have a solution!  Mtn Peaks Therapy Llamas & Alpacas, a non-profit animal therapy organization, will rent out llamas and alpacas to attend weddings!

“Our animals are ‘pros’ when it comes to parties and special events, always decorated to compliment, our llamas can easily handle all ages, and any size of crowd! More than just ‘entertainment,’ we provide a unique interactive experience for your guests, that most have never experienced before, and smiles that will last forever!”

All proceeds from the animal wedding packages, which start at $200 and $300 for two, go toward funding the organization’s Therapy and Education Program. I’m not quite sure whether the llamas get the therapy or they are rather like therapy dogs, providing solace for people in need.  After much (at least 30 seconds) thought, I believe the llamas are in need of therapy after having to attend all those weddings.  Did I mention that I dislike weddings?  The last one I attended was in 1997.

If it were not all the way on the other side of the country, I would swear this next story involved one of the forced llama wedding participants …


Llama on the Lam …

Early Thursday morning, just before 1:00 a.m., two troopers from the State Police Russell (Massachusetts) barracks responded to reports of a loose llama walking on Route 23 in Russell. Troopers Matthew Kane and Kyle Minnicucci responded and located a llama out on the lam from its home.  After visiting several houses in the area, trying to locate the llama’s family, the troopers decided to arrest the llama on charges of ‘public nuisance’, but they realized they had no means of transporting him to the jail.  So instead, they asked a local horse farm owner to take the llama for the night until his family could be located.

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No word on whether the llama’s family has been found, but all charges against the llama have been dropped.


Who Is Shaving Virginia’s Cats?

An unknown perpetrator is shaving (apparently) random cats across Waynesboro, Virginia, police there said Friday.

Since December, at least seven cats have been abducted and let loose again with their underbellies or legs carefully shorn, according to the Associated Press.

The felines, who all have collars and owners, have so far been returned otherwise unharmed, and even the seemingly baffled police aren’t exactly sure what, if any, law the perpetrator is breaking.

Which means that, for now, at least, Waynesboro’s cats might have to look out for themselves. Stay safe out there, cats of Waynesboro.


The Religious Feud in England Over … Asparagus?

Now, let me say right off that I make it a habit never to mock anybody’s religion.  I also do not wish to offend any of my UK friends.  Nor do I have anything against asparagus, though it is not my favourite veggie.  But this story was just too good to pass up.

On Sunday, April 23rd, churchgoers at England’s Worcester Cathedral were treated to an unusually fragrant and spiky service. To kick off the annual Asparagus Festival, the church decided to dedicate a few minutes of mass to a ceremonial blessing of this unique vegetable. During the ceremony, a man in a suit and tie carried a bundle of the vegetable to the front of the church, the Telegraph reports. He was followed by Gus the Asparagus Man—a man costumed as a spear of asparagus, and a frequent sight at Asparagus Festival events—and someone dressed up as St. George, shield and all. The cathedral’s Precentor then blessed the crop.

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Not everyone was happy. “This is an absurd pantomime-type scene that makes a mockery of Christian worship,” the leader of one lobbyist group told the Telegraph. A popular religious blogger took the trend to what he said was its natural conclusion: “Where’s the sprout liturgy, or equality for mushrooms? Would the Dean really permit a walking fungus to participate in an act of divine worship?”  Anything for an argument, I s’pose.

To me, the only real question is:  why asparagus???  I can eat the very thin, young asparagus, if doused in enough butter and lemon juice, but I would much prefer bell peppers, celery, carrots, scallions, or even broccoli!

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And on that note, it is time for some of you to straighten those ties, stick a pen or two in your pocket-protectors, and head on out the door … go earn a few bucks.  And please, remember to share a smile with somebody today.  Keep safe and have a great week!

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Alternative Spelling?

'Give me a hand! There's a Monday on the other side of this door.'

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No, “Good Monday Morning” Is NOT An Oxymoron!!!

Good Monday morning, friends!  Did you awaken to the sound of birdies chirping outside your window this morning?  I heard from at least one blogger-friend yesterday who said he spent the first part of the day shoveling snow, so I guess most of us already have something to be thankful for!  I hope you all had a fine weekend.  Mine was pretty laid back, as my daughter was studying for exams, so I had some extra time to write and read … and of course, do laundry!  12-15 loads a week for just three people … sigh.  Anyway, let us see if we can start this week off with some smiles, okay?  Grab your wine coffee and pull up a chair!


I am ‘navigationally challenged’.  I can read a map, given enough time (15-20 minutes) and plenty of light.  I can follow directions … maybe … if they do not involve more than 2-3 turns.  So, when my friend H tried to teach me to use Google Maps, I thought that might be the solution to my directional issues.  And sometimes it is, but other times … well, on my recent trip to Pennsylvania, I set Google Maps for starting and ending points, and asked it to choose the fastest route.  It did its job, but since I could not hear the voice in the phone, I was constantly saying, “huh?”  The voice in the phone never repeated herself … apparently she doesn’t understand “huh?” And, she (I have come to think of my GPS as a ‘she’) helped me hit every toll booth in Pennsylvania!  Then, when I started home on Monday and asked her to reverse the directions, she said, ‘no route found’.  Did I somehow offend her? Fortunately, I am better at finding my way home than I am finding my way there, so I only went ½ hour out of my way!  Anyway, this post is not about me, but about Google Maps.

Monday-GoogleGuess what?  Sometimes Google Maps makes a mistake!  Such was the case in Australia last week when Michael McElwee began receiving mail for a local pizza parlor.  First it was mail, then it was people asking to fill out job applications, and then it was customers wanting to know where their pizzas were.  Turns out that Google Maps had incorrectly labeled his house as Cucina Sotto Le Stelle, a pizzeria located in a park near his home. “My daughter has been approached by people wanting to know what time we open,” he said. “I don’t know how many people have turned up at my house thinking it was a pizza place.”

monday-pizzaNow … wouldn’t you think that a person of average intelligence would look at the residential house and realize that it was not, in fact, a pizza parlor?  Have we come to rely so heavily on technology that we don’t bother to take our brains out of our pockets anymore?  Still, I would have loved to have been a mouse in the corner and seen the expression on his face when hungry people started showing up at his door demanding their pizzas!  Possibly he could have found a way to make a profit from it!


If you’re planning to be in southern California this summer and have some extra money burning a hole in your pocket, you may want to check out the Ice Cream Museum.  The museum features 10 exhibits and each room features the smells and tastes associated with ice cream desserts.  There is, for example, the Pool of Sprinkles …

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And the Banana Room …

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And let us not forget the melting-Popsicle jungle …

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It even features scratch ‘n sniff walls!  And of course there are samples, though each ticket entitles the holder to only two.  And speaking of tickets … the going price is $29 for adults, $18 for children and seniors.  Personally, I’d rather just make a trip to Ben and Jerry’s, but then what do I know?


And speaking of museums …

Opening in the next few weeks in Helsingborg, Sweden, is the Museum of Failures.  The museum is the brainchild of Samuel West, an organizational psychologist (whatever that is) and formerly an innovation researcher (I repeat, whatever that is) at Lund University in Sweden.  West says he tired of hearing about all the success stories and wondered, “So where are all these failures? Why do we only read about the successes?” Hence, he began looking for those inventions that never quite saw the light of day, and after several years, had amassed quite a collection.

The collection includes …

Harley Davidson “Hot Road” perfume

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Colgate Beef Lasagne

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A Monopoly-style Trump Board Game

MUSEUM OF FAILURE

A face mask that electrocutes you to keep you from getting wrinkles

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All in all, it sounds more interesting than the Ice Cream Museum.  I could not find out what the price of admission will be, but I know that it will be too steep for me, since it would include a plane ticket halfway around the world.  If any of my readers live in, or plan to visit Sweden … send me some pictures!


On April 15th, Emma Morano died.  Yes, I know this is supposed to be a humorous post, and yes, I know death isn’t funny, but I’m coming to the humorous part if you’ll give me a chance.  And for goodness sake, the woman was 117 years old and had not left her home for 15 years!  She was, it turns out, the last person alive (until April 15th, anyway) who lived in the 19th century!  Quite an accomplishment to live to be 117, yes?

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In a previous interview with the New York Times, when asked to what she credited her longevity, she replied that remaining single for most of her life is one of the reasons and that eating two raw eggs in the morning every day for 90 years was the other.  And here we’ve been told that raw eggs are bad for you!  Personally, I’m not so sure about the raw eggs … I don’t think I could get them past my lips, but I’ll drink a toast to staying single!


Filosofa’s Tip Of The Day:  Never give the cat watermelon.

Okay, folks … I’ve got work to do and so do you, so let us make it a great week!  Go share some humour with a friend or co-worker, give them a smile too.  Smiles and chuckles are not near as much fun if you keep them to yourself!  Have a safe and happy week!

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Filosofa does this ALL the time!

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Eenie, Meenie, Minie, MONDAY!

Welcome, yet again, to another Jolly Monday!  Hope you all had a lovely Easter spent with family, friends, or cute baby owls.  Now this Monday is kind of special.  First, and from my perspective as a CPA this is important, it is the day before your taxes are due.  So if, like so many, you have procrastinated and are now in a fizz to get them done by midnight tomorrow, let me just say this:  DO NOT CALL ME. I am done for this year.  The ‘gone fishing’ sign is on the door.

But in addition, today has the distinction of being:

  • National Bat Appreciation Day (I wonder if they mean cute furry critters or the kind you can knock someone over the head with???)
  • National Cheeseball Day
  • National Haiku Poetry Day
  • National Poem in your Pocket Day

I appreciate bats – both kinds, and I make a superb cheeseball.  But the last two … poetry, unless quite simple, is far beyond my ability to comprehend, let alone write.  And what the heck is a ‘poem in your pocket’???  Anyway … go appreciate something today, even if it isn’t on the ‘official’ list!  Meanwhile, let us start this day off with some fun, shall we?


The Avondale Police Department in Arizona swore in a new member last week.  Not a big deal, you say?  Well, this new member has a beard.  So what, you ask?  The big deal is that this new member is a drug-sniffing bearded dragon!!!  Yes, you heard right …

“Research has shown that reptiles possess a strong sense of smell making their ability to detect certain illicit drugs possibly more accurate than K9s. Our pilot program drug sniffing bearded dragon will be assisting Officers in the City. Please help us welcome Iroh!”

Iroh has been working with the department for about a year as part of a pilot program, but proved his worth and has now been promoted, and even given a badge, though not a uniform on which to pin it.

“Iroh has turned out to be a valuable member of the Avondale Police family. His skill set is so extensive that we have cross trained him in many areas.”  He has been trained in dispatch, running radar, and even spent some time on paperwork with Assistant Chief Lynn Parkin. “Iroh has a keen eye for typos.”


The unthinkable has happened in Japan.  It is a disaster and is likely to have a severe effect on the Japanese people for years to come.  The country is currently facing shortages of … wait for it … potato chips!  You laugh?  Think if you went to your local grocery store the day before a big football game on television, only to find this …

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One of Japan’s largest snack-makers, Calbee, announced this week it is temporarily halting production of 15 of its most popular brands.  People panicked and ran out to buy as many potato chips as they could, and now the shelves are bare.

What happened is that last August, four separate typhoons hit Hokkaido, the nation’s largest potato-producing region, ruining this year’s crop. Calbee has imported some potatoes from the U.S., but Japanese law strictly limits the amount that can be imported.  Another company, Koikeya, does not import potatoes and has also announced a temporary suspension of their operations.

Some people have resorted to buying their chips from online auction sites where they pay 1,250 yen ($12 USD) per bag.  One newspaper, Nikkei, is referring to the shortage as the “potato crisis”.  Among the flavours that are currently unavailable are:  French Salad Dressing chips, Rich Consomme, and Plum chips. Okay, well … ’nuff said. Monday-yuck

 

I don’t chop wood these days, as we have only a gas furnace for heat.  But back in the day … we used a wood-burning stove for heat for at least a decade, back in the 1970s – 1980s, and while we bought most of our wood already cut, I did my fair share of splitting wood for kindling, and stacking wood into some semblance of order once it was delivered.  It wasn’t a bad chore, except on those rare occasions that a rodent who had been snoozing on a log startled awake and scurried up my arm!  But my stacks of wood were noticeably boring compared to some.  Take a look at the creative ways some of these people found to make their woodpiles more intriguing.

To see the rest, go to Bored Panda’s website.


Beware of changing your last name, ladies!  In St. Petersburg, Russia, a woman who works at a supermarket changed her last name to that of the store, Veniy, because the store was offering nearly $1,200 to anyone who would do so.  Heck, I would change my last name for $1,200!  Well, this woman’s husband didn’t like it too much … men are funny creatures sometimes … and he took revenge.

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He had a cement-mixer truck (I don’t know how he convinced the driver of the truck to do this) back up to his wife’s car, and placed the chute into one of the open windows, filling the car with cement!  Somebody captured the moment on video and you can see it here.

No word on the wife’s reaction, whether charges were filed, or whether the man remains alive!


Two men and a woman robbed the Chick-fil-A in Folsom, California last week, but they did not get any cash.  However, Matt Crane, owner of the franchise restaurant, says they got something of even greater value … cow costumes!  “I just want my cows back,” Crane said. “No plans to press charges, so if they show back up, we would just be incredibly grateful.”

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Okay friends, that’s a wrap for this Monday morning.  I hope something brought a bit of light into your spirit, a smile to your face, and most of all I hope you have a wonderful week! Share that smile with someone today … make someone’s day just a little brighter. Monday-calvin-hobbes

 

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Easter Traditions Here and There

Easter is just around the corner … tomorrow, in fact … and in honour of the holiday, I am recycling my post from last Easter, interspersed with some new additions.  Different countries and cultures celebrate the holiday with a variety of traditions, and I find it fascinating to look at how others’ traditions vary from our own.  First, however, a brief bit about that highly controversial Easter candy, Peeps!

PeepEaster is almost upon us, and that means what?  You got it!  Chocolate Bunnies!  Chocolate Eggs!  And Peeps.  I will eat an occasional Peep, but I far prefer the ears of a chocolate bunny.  That said, I don’t hate Peeps and they are rather cute.  There is a joke circulating on social media that goes something like this: “What is the best way to eat a Peep?  Throw it in the trash.”  That seems a bit sad to me, though I have certainly tossed enough of them in the trash after they sat around until they were hard enough to knock a cat unconscious.  Anyway … check out this gallery of Peeps!  Cute and imaginative! Peeps Gallery

And if you really cannot figure out what to do with all those Peeps the kiddos found in their Easter baskets, why not try this recipe:  Peeps-Infused Vodka

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Today I am thinking that I’m glad I do not live in either the Czech Republic or Greece, though the Greek island of Corfu might be okay.  I will explain why in a minute.  People celebrate holidays in different ways around the globe, and I find it interesting to learn about the different traditions, foods and celebrations in other countries.  Having lived my entire life in the U.S. and only rarely traveled abroad, I am woefully ignorant of the customs of other nations.  So, I was excited this morning to find an article in my daily Newsweek digest titled “10 Bunny-Free Easter Traditions From Around The World”.

In the Czech Republic, Easter is celebrated on Monday and one of the traditions is for men to whip women!  Now, to my male readers … don’t get any ideas!  “On Easter Monday in the Czech Republic, men playfully spank women with whips made of willow and decorated with ribbons. According to legend, the whipping is supposed to improve fertility, health and beauty because the willow is the first tree to bloom in spring.”  Most of the Czech Easter traditions relate to spring and the beginning of new life.  Here in the U.S., most of us toss some food colouring and vinegar in boiling water and dip a few dozen hard-boiled eggs in the coloured water. But in the Czech Republic, they create beautiful, hand painted eggs.  Czech eggs

They have some other fun traditions throughout Easter week, starting with “Ugly Wednesday”.  Czech it out for yourself here.

Greece has a multitude of traditions, as it is comprised of more than 200 inhabited islands (6,000 altogether), but the one that caught my eye was this: “In Corfu, people throw pots, pans and other kitchenware out of their windows on the morning of Holy Saturday. Some say the custom can be traced back to the Venetians, who used to get rid of any old items on New Year’s Day.”  I think of this as a win-win … either they get new cookware (preferably Cuisinart), or they get to say “sorry … I couldn’t cook tonight, so make yourself a sandwich.”  If they do this for a few nights, then they probably get the Cuisinart soon anyway!  However, another that I was not so enamored of was this: “It’s customary to eat a stew of lamb’s stomach after Easter Sunday Mass. The dish, also known as patsas or tripe soup, is seasoned with red wine vinegar and garlic or thickened with avgolemono (egg-lemon sauce).”  Maybe I will just keep my old pots ‘n pans after all.

Bulgarians really know how to have fun on Easter … they have a huge egg fight, or “choukane s yaitsa”.  “Opponents smash their eggs into each other with the egg left unbroken proclaimed the winner or borak. The winning egg is kept until next Easter and is a sign of good luck.”  Now, the egg fight sounds like fun … though I’m not sure if the eggs are raw or hard-boiled — seems like raw eggs would be more entertaining and less painful.  But keeping the egg until next Easter?  I am not so sure about that part.  Ever smell an egg that was just a few weeks past being edible? Not a fun olfactory experience.  Bulgarians also have a unique superstition. “It is believed if one hears a cuckoo midway during Lent, spring is coming. Likewise, if one has money in his pocket at the sound of the cuckoo, he will be rich in the coming year, but if one has no money or is hungry, then that will likely be how the rest of the year will play out.”  I do not think we have cuckoo birds where I live, but I have some friends who might fit nicely into this category.

“In Hungary and Poland, it is tradition for men to throw water over young women’s heads, and then ask for a kiss. In Poland, the custom can be traced back to the baptism of Prince Miezsko on Easter Monday in 966 AD, bringing Catholicism to the country.”  What is it with men picking on women as an Easter tradition???  Does anybody see a misogynistic trend here?  And frankly, if you dump water on my head, the likelihood of getting a kiss from me is pretty much nil.

A bit of Easter trivia:

  • Easter is the first Sunday after the first full moon after the first day of spring
  • Easter eggs are considered a symbol of new life and rebirth
  • Eggs contain almost every nutrient essential to humans
  • The Easter Bunny was originally the Easter Hare.  He functioned somewhat like an Easter Santa Claus, evaluating children’s behaviour and rewarding good children with coloured eggs.
  • Originally children built nests for the Easter Hare to leave the eggs inside.
  • The tradition of coloured eggs originated in the Ukraine and the decorated eggs were believed to protect homes from evil spirits.
  • $14.6 billion is spent on Easter items annually
  • $2.1 billion is spent on Easter candy, making Easter second only to Halloween for candy sales
  • 120 million pounds of Easter candy is consumed annually
  • 16 billion jelly beans are manufactured annually, and if laid end-to-end, would circle the globe nearly three times!  That is a heck of a lot of jelly beans!
  • 76% of people eat the ears off the chocolate bunnies first (I am in the majority here)
  • Swiss tradition holds that a cuckoo, not a bunny, delivers the eggs (what is it with Easter and cuckoos?)

Many thanks to fellow blogger Thumbup at The Playground for the above fun facts!

The more we learn about our global neighbors, the less likely we are to have prejudices based on a lack of understanding, and learning fun things like how others celebrate holidays is a great way to start.  With 196 countries around the world, it is impossible for me to cover them all in a single post, but I hope this has whet your appetite to learn more. There are some great websites … This is one of the best I found.  So for now, I hope you have a fun Easter tomorrow and spend the day with people you love.

Easter bunny

Filosofa Discovers … Laughter!!!!

Okay, to answer your first question, NO this is not likely to become a regular feature (Filosofa’s claim to fame is snark, not humour).  To answer your second, YES I am completely sane and sober (well, as nearly so as ever).  This is just a blip, if you will, an aberration from Filosofa’s usual curmudgeonly ramblings and rants.  And actually, as it happens, April is National Humour Month!  I came across these two jokes on Facebook in the last few days, and while I do not typically engage in sharing jokes and memes, being rather more serious-minded, I found myself actually … laughing!!!  At first I was not sure what those funny, bubbly things coming from within my throat were … they sounded like a rusty ol’ wagon wheel rumbling down a narrow path, and I was frightened.  But then … despite the fright … I felt … different … my eyes squelched, and my feet twitched … I felt a sense of … bubbling … of … what is that called again???  Laughing … genuine humour … true cackling!  Assuming that I had finally lost my battle against dementia, I read the first joke to my granddaughter, sure that I was simply over the edge, the laughter was maniacal, and she would promptly dial 911.  But … Miss Goose laughed too!  Those who know me well know that, apart from the antics of my feline family members, the Significant Seven, not much makes me laugh these days.  But these jokes did .., and I felt an urge to share them with my blogging community, in hopes that you guys would also enjoy a much-needed, well-deserved laugh.  So here goes:

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humour-2And the second …

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So, I conclude, even in the era of Trump, we can find humour.  I think I would like to try more of this …. what is it called again?  Ah yes, laughter … it feels rather nice for a change, doesn’t it?

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