Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz … Jolly … zzzzzz … Monday

sleepyhead      Yawwwwnnnn …

OH!!!  You startled me!  Is it that time already?  Well don’t just stand there … come on in where it’s warm … just let me go turn on the coffee pot

coffeeSo tell me, dear friends, did you have a great weekend?  Mine was pretty good.  I was chuffed on Saturday afternoon when we went to Barnes & Noble and I was actually able to read the book jackets without using the magnifying glass, so I spent Saturday with a smile on my face!  And I’m sure you guys aren’t exactly looking forward to going back to the salt mines today, right?  Well, let’s see if we can find some fun things to put smiles on those gorgeous faces!  Pull up a chair, grab a cuppa …

Text dividersA tasty prank …

Y’know, I’ve often wondered what would happen if I called the local pizza place and ordered pizza sent to somebody else … just for a prank.  Mind you, I wouldn’t do it, but the thought has occurred to me a time or two, and likely it has to some of you too!  I know I’m not the only devious mind in this bunch!

Now, I don’t know who pranked German Attorney Guido Grolle, but it certainly wasn’t me!  Whoever it was … or rather is … they are doing it up right!  Guido’s office has received more than 100 pizzas that they did not order over the course of the last two weeks, and they keep on coming.  Apparently, the toppings are becoming increasingly disgusting, as one of the more recent ones had something called ‘currywurst’ – I don’t even know what that is, and am fairly certain I’m better off not knowing! And there have occasionally been orders of sushi, sausage and Greek food!

pizza-GuidoPolice have opened an investigation into the orders, but investigators said fraud charges are unlikely, as Grolle is not required to pay for the unwanted food.  Whoever it is, has Guido’s email address, for he gets notifications of the deliveries via email, sometimes starting first thing in the morning.

Guido email

EAttorney Guido Grolle’s email directory is full of announcements of pizza deliveries he did not order. Much was actually delivered. Photo: Oliver Schapernter a caption

So, any guesses as to who the perpetrator of this crime is?  I would guess a disgruntled former client, or perhaps a lawyer from an opposing firm who lost a case to ol’ Guido!  Then again … could be an angry ex-wife!


And speaking of pizza …

Steve Mallie, the owner of Mallie’s Sports Grill & Bar in Southgate, Michigan, broke a Guinness World Record last July by cooking up the biggest hamburger, weighing in at 1,794 pounds!

hamburger recordBut then he decided to shoot for another, this time with pizza.  He and his crew cooked up a 72 x 72 inch pizza … for those who are mathematically challenged or don’t have your calculator handy, that is six-feet long and six feet wide.

Now, that’s all well and fine, but frankly, it doesn’t look all that tasty to me, and by the time anybody got to eat it, it was no doubt cold.  So, I ask the question:  why?  And the answer, I’m sure, would be “because we can”.  Sometimes, just because you can do something doesn’t necessarily mean that you should.


Best use of a lottery win …

Bill Pendergast of Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada, lost his home in the summer of 2016 when wildfires swept through the area, relentlessly destroying nearly 1.5 million acres of Boreal forest, residential areas, and oil sands. 2,400 homes and other buildings were destroyed, among them Mr. Pendergast’s house.

wildfireWhile the Pendergasts have been struggling financially to re-build their home, it is still only partly complete, due to a lack of funds, among other things.  But last week, Bill was on his way to visit his father when his father called and asked him if he would stop and pick up a cold soft drink for him.  He did, and while he was in the store, he bought a lottery ticket.  Well, guess what, folks?  He won!!!  A cool $1,000,000 USD, $800,000 Canadian dollars!

I don’t write about lottery winners very often, but every now and then there is a winner who I think is truly deserving, truly in need.  Now Bill and his wife can finish that house, and just in time to welcome their first grandbaby!

pendergast wins


All in favour, say “woof”

Now, I know I have long promised to keep Jolly Monday free of politics, but I couldn’t resist just one tiny exception … I hope you’ll forgive me.

In a town in Kentucky called “Rabbit Hash”, the mayor has been of the canine persuasion for as long as I can remember.  There have been several different mayors, but all of them have been dogs:

  • First Mayor: Goofy Borneman- Calhoun
  • Second Mayor: Junior Cochran
  • Third Mayor: Lucy Lou
  • Current Mayor: Brynneth Pawltro
  • Ambassadors: Bourbon & Lady Stone

rabbit hash mayorIt’s never been a problem … Rabbit Hash, a thriving metropolis of 315 people, functions quite nicely.  Now, over in Kansas, another four-legged fellow, Angus, filed the paperwork in a timely fashion to get his name on the ballot as a candidate for governor.  Hey, why not?  If it can work for the city of Rabbit Hash, why not for the state of Kansas?

Angus

But nooooo … Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach, who also just so happens to have thrown his hat into the same gubernatorial ring, says, “Officially, we will not allow a dog to run for governor.”  Spoil sport.  Some have speculated that Mr. Kobach felt threatened by the competition from Angus.  Perhaps so. My own opinion is that Angus could not possibly be any worse than Kris Kobach, and now I will drop this topic before I ….

Angus-2

Angus not happy.  Angus maybe challenge Kris Kobach to duel.


Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy …

Last but not least, this one is for Roger, the master of the British Oak Pogo Stick!

Who knew that there are serious pogo stick competitions?  Earlier this month, Russian professional Xpogo athlete Dmitry Arsenyev traveled to Wilkinsburg, Pennsylvania to break the Guinness World Record for most consecutive no-handed back flips on a pogo stick and highest jump on a pogo stick as part of Whistle Sports’ Chronicles of a Record Breaker series.  Roger … you are NOT to even attempt this, understand?  I will call your wife!

pogo-1First Arsenyev attempted the no-handed back flip record which required him to complete more than seven consecutive flips on his pogo stick and release his hands from the handlebars while upside-down, without falling off or losing control.

He narrowly topped the previous record by completing eight no-handed back flips before landing outside of the cushioned area provided for him.

pogo-2Next Arsenyev attempted the record for highest jump on a pogo stick, which Xpogo co-founder Nick Ryan described as “the mother of all pogo records.”

He built up momentum with several bounces before vaulting over a pole set at 11 feet 0.99 inches high, about a half-inch higher than the previous record of 11 feet and half an inch. 

Well, folks, a look at the clock, and the obnoxious buzzing of my dryer tell me that our Jolly Monday time is up.  I like seeing that you have beautiful smiles on your faces, and I ask only that you go out and share those smiles with people you run into today who have none.  I admit that mine has been faltering a bit lately, and I can tell you from experience, that if somebody smiles at me, it lightens my heart just a bit.  I hope you all have a terrific week – remember that spring is getting closer by the day!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa!

toon-Maxine

Saturday Surprise — Armchair Traveler

Weekend … it’s finally here … the WEEKEND!  That moment you have all been waiting for for a lonnnngggg five days has finally arrived!  So, do you guys have big plans for the weekend, or just planning to hang out and relax, maybe paint the kitchen?  Me, I will be watching them knock a few out of the park at the Super Bowl.  What?  That was last weekend?  Oh drat.  I can’t believe I missed it for the 25th year in a row!  So, who won, the Mets or the Cowboys?  What?  Really?  Okay, well … moving right along here, what would you like to do with our short time together today?  Are you up for a bit of traveling?  Great!  Then grab a seat, fasten your seatbelt, and let us travel in our armchairs to … India!

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I first happened upon a picture of the Golden Temple in Amritsar, Punjab, India, a few weeks ago, but as I was on some other mission at that time, I bookmarked it and promptly forgot about it.  Tonight, I happened upon it again and thought it might make an interesting point of origin for our weekend jaunt.

Shri Harmandir Sahib, known worldwide as the Golden Temple, was built starting in 1581, and completed in 1589.  It is a Sikh temple and has been rebuilt numerous times, after being destroyed, also numerous times, by Muslims invading from Afghanistan.  It is built around a man-made pool, and when it was destroyed in 1757, and then again in 1762, by an army led by Ahmad Shah Abdali, they filled the pool with garbage!  Not very nice, eh? It was, once again, rebuilt by Maharaja Ranjit Singh, using marble and copper in 1809, then was overlaid with gold foil in 1830. This has to be getting expensive, I should think!

golden temple 2.jpgIn the early 1980s, the temple became a center of conflict between the Indian government led by Indira Gandhi, some Sikh groups and a militant movement led by Jarnail Singh Bhindranwale seeking to create a new nation named Khalistan. In 1984, Gandhi sent in the Indian Army as part of Operation Blue Star, leading to deaths of over 1,000 militants, soldiers and civilians, as well as causing much damage to the temple and the destruction of Akal Takht. The temple complex was rebuilt again after the 1984 damage.  I must say, they are persistent!

The Golden Temple is an open house of worship for all men and women, from all walks of life and faith.  I like that, but I also like the fact that every single day, they provide more than 50,000 free meals to anyone … that’s anyone … who needs a meal.

DCF 1.0There is a huge communal kitchen and volunteers come in every day to help prepare the meal and clean up afterward. Lentils are cooked in huge vats, on open fires, that take two people with large wooden paddles, to stir. The kitchen uses 12,000 kilograms of flour, 1,600 kilograms of pulses (lentils), 1,600 kilograms of vegetables, and 1,400 kilograms of rice per day. About 25 percent of the food is donated.

Did you enjoy your visit?  Where to next, friends?  I thought to visit a bit more of India, but … let us head over to London, for there is something going on there with the hedgehogs …


Britain’s hedgehogs, for all their iconic cuteness, have fallen on prickly times. The hedgehog population has been on the decline, and the people want them back!

hedgehog

In the 1950s, some estimates placed the British hedgehog population at 30 million. A 1995 study put the number closer to 1.5 million across England, Scotland, and Wales. Over the last two decades,  hedgehogs have declined by roughly fifty percent in the countryside and by a third in urban enclaves. Now, as cute as hedgehogs may be, here in the U.S., people go to all sorts of machinations to keep critters such as hedgehogs out of urban areas, for they damage yards, eat flowers, and so on.

Michel Birkenwald, a London jeweler, has become one of London’s most enthusiastic engineers of infrastructure for animals. He founded and self-financed Barnes Hedgehogs around four years ago. The group drills the holes in fences and other obstacles for free to provide hedgehog access, and generally advocates for the welfare of wild hedgehogs. Once Birkenwald has crafted a passage, he usually affixes a sign reading “Hedgehog Highway,” with the creature’s spiky silhouette.

hedgehog highway signIt seems that the decline is, at least in part, due to urbanization, thus a decline in hedgerows, the wild shrubbery that has been replaced by buildings, roads, etc.

While Birkenwald is drilling holes in fences and other obstacles to allow hedgehogs safe passage around town, there is yet another hedgehog advocacy group, Hedgehog Street.

hedgehog-street.pngApparently all these efforts are working, for a report released this month indicates that the rate of decline is slowing.  Hooray for the hedgehogs!  I cannot believe I am sitting here at 1:00 in the morning writing about hedgehogs!  Have I finally lost my bloomin’ mind?Sonic


And one final stop on Filosofa’s Saturday Surprise train … let’s head to Canada where there is a rare phenomenon called ‘snow rollers’.

A rare wind is blowing up cylindrical “snow rollers”—a phenomenon that occurs only when wind, snow, and moisture synchronize in a rare confluence of conditions.

When the wind is strong—but not too strong—and the snow is light—but not too light—and sticky, a steady wind can roll snow into neat, spiral cylinders. They dot a field of snow like icy bales of hay. They start small but can grow around two feet in diameter.

snow rollers-3Snow rollers can be kind of cute as they skate across a field—but just imagine if you didn’t know anything about these and came across a field of mysterious cylinders. Aliens? Nope, just nature.

snow rollers 2Well, my opinion, for whatever it’s worth, is that my Canadian friends can keep their snow rollers, for I am ready for spring, for wildflowers and bumblebees, for brisk morning walks and grilling out in the evening.

flower-bee.jpg

Well, friends, I know you all have fun things to do this weekend and you’re eager to get to them, and I certainly do appreciate you popping over to spend a few minutes with me.  What better way to start the weekend than with a song, yes?  Have a wonderful weekend, keep warm and safe.  Hugs ‘n love from Filosofa!

Gotta love Stevie Wonder, yes?

An All-New Jolly Monday!!!

Good Monday morning, friends, and welcome to Filosofa’s Jolly Monday!  For those new friends who have only recently stumbled upon Filosofa’s Word, let me explain.  All week long I write ‘down & dirty’, mostly political.  One day a friend, who happens to no longer be a friend, asked if I could devote just one post a week to humour and leave politics out.  I tried it, and it is now my second most popular weekly feature.  A while back, I started  serving refreshments with my humour, so feel free to grab a cupa Joe, a donut, and enjoy a few chuckles, laughs and lots of smiles.  By the way … hugs are always welcome!

So, did everyone have a good weekend?  Did anybody – besides Eschudel – actually see the sun this weekend?  I am convinced that the sun has been kidnapped and is being held for randsom, for I have seen it precisely 4 times all year so far!  And now, grab your coffee, pull up a chair, and let us spend a few minutes together before you have to leave for … w-o-r-k.

Text dividersBeware the comma …

Those pesky commas!  I tend to overuse the comma, as a college professor told me many decades ago, and my editor shakes his head over my comma usage quite often.  But in this story, it was a missing comma that led to a $6 million class-action lawsuit.

The defendant was Oakhurst Dairy in Portlant, Maine, and the plaintiffs were 127 of the company’s drivers who claimed that a written statute about overtime was unclear.

The offending document included this phrase …

“…marketing, storing, packing for shipment or distribution of”

And without the comma before the word “or”, drivers claimed that it meant something other than management intended.  I can see where the comma, known as an Oxford comma, would have changed the meaning slightly, but I’m not sure to the tune of $5 million!

The drivers claimed that the packing and distribution were a single act, and since they didn’t actually do any packing, they shouldn’t have been exempt from overtime pay.  Judge David Barron wrote at the beginning of his 29-page ruling: “For want of a comma, we have this case.”  Twenty-nine pages???  Seriously???  The company agreed to pay the $5 million, not wishing to incur further legal costs or waste additional time. Text dividersNew breed of golf caddies?

golferMy dad always wanted a son.  Instead he got me.  I’m sure he was disappointed at first, but he learned to love me despite my shortcomings, and went merrily about the business of trying to teach me to do all the things a son would have done with him, such as playing golf.  Now, frankly I hate golf, and being visually challenged even as a child, I was never much good at it.  I would swing 30-40 times at that tiny little ball, trying to earn an ‘attaboy’, until the line of golfers began to back up and grumble loudly, then we moved along without me hitting the ball.  Anyway, that was in the 1950s when golfers walked the 9 or 18 holes, and when young boys were thrilled to earn a dollar or two being a ‘caddy’, carrying the golfers clubs, handing them the proper club, and advising them.

Nowadays, since almost nobody walks around the course anymore, but they all ride in those little golf carts, presumably there isn’t as much need for a caddy, and young boys who were born with iphones in their diapers do not value a dollar or two as they once did.

The Retreat & Links at Silvies Valley Ranch in Seneca, Oregon, has a new and unique solution to provide caddies to those golfers who wish one … GOATS!

goat caddy“We’ve been developing an unprecedented caddie training program with our head caddie, Bruce LeGoat, to ensure that he and his team are ready for the opening of The Gauntlet this summer. We’re truly redefining both goat and golf operations at the ranch. Can you think of another course where its caddies were literally born, raised and fully educated on-property? We will get you a caddie who really knows the course and won’t give you any bad advice — and they work for peanuts!”Text dividers

How many eggs is too many?

We go through a lot of eggs in my house, ever since Miss Goose learned to boil her own and to make potatoe salad and cookies.  I buy 18 eggs most every week.  But the chefs traveling with the Norwegian Olympic team were in for a bit surprise when they ordered 1,500 eggs to feed the hungry athletes, but due to an error in translation, they actually received 15,000 eggs!  There’s that pesky comma again!

eggsApparently, changing one syllable in “1,500” in Korean changes it to 15,000!  Who knew?  Fortunately, the chefs were able to return the additional 13,500 eggs, else the Norwegian athletes might have started growing feathers before long.Text dividersThey pulled over a what???

Police are trained to be alert for unsafe driver behaviour, and erratic vehicle movement is usually a clear sign that something is not right.  Typically, officers pull over vehicles that are on the ground, but last Tuesday, the Yucaipa Police Department in San Bernardino Country, California, pulled over a couple of … wait for it …

hot air balloons … yep, you guessed it … hot air balloons!  The Sheriff’s department had been receiving calls about hot air balloons flying too close to the homes, and one report of a balloon colliding with a home.  Deputies responded to the Chapman Heights neighborhood, where they observed the two hot air balloons hitting trees and coming within 5 feet of rooftops.

The deputies were able to contact both pilots, presumably by loudspeaker, since they weren’t very high anyway, and request that they land immediately, which they did.  Both pilots landed safely and there didn’t weem to be an issue of FUI (Flying Under the Influence).

balloons“Deputies identified both pilots, and will be forwarding a report to the Federal Aviation Administration for further review of any possible FAA violations.”Text dividersI haven’t done any jokes for a while, so I went in search of something funny, a few good ‘knock-knock’ jokes, since those are my favourites, or something clean, yet funny.  I didn’t find anything that made me laugh, but I did come across some of what I call “dumb customer” stories, so I thought I’d share a few of those for your morning chuckles!

dumb-customer-1dumb-customer-2dumb-customer-3Text dividers
And now, my friends, it saddens me to say this, but you must leave.  You have jobs, careers, you are contributing members of society!  Well, except those of us who are retired, but even we have things to do.  For me?  Probably laundry and grocery shopping, as I got lazy yesterday and didn’t go.  Keep safe and warm out there, my dear friends, and have a great week.  As always, remember that I ask you to share those gorgeous smiles with somebody who might need one today.  It makes a world of difference in somebody’s day sometimes, and makes you feel happier too!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa!

Note to readers:  This morning is my scheduled eye surgery, and I am not sure how much of my day that will take up, so please forgive me if I am slower even than usual responding to comments, but I will respond as soon as I can!

toon-Maxine

toon-mario-sonic

 

Saturday Surprise — This ‘n That

Well the long week is finally over, we can look forward to two days of … cold, snow, chopping wood for the fire, shoveling, chattering teeth …  Take heart, I am just kidding.  Hopefully you will all have a fun weekend and enjoy something special before having to return to the grind on Monday.  Me?  I think I will plan to stay in and catch up on some things around the house, but that could change a bit later on.  My girls like to go out on Saturday, so who knows?  For today’s Saturday Surprise, I decided on a hodge-podge with no theme other than the goal of making you smile, laugh, or shake your head and roll your eyes.  So pull up a chair, and let’s share a few minutes together before you head out to the mall!


Our first story takes us to Scotland, where a young farmer, Bruce Grubb, was holding a housewarming party in his cottage.  Now, Bruce had some cows out in the barn who were ready to give birth at just about any time, so periodically he left the party to go check on the cows.

Bruce Grubb with cowsWhen Bruce excused himself to go out and check on the cows, he got the fright of his life, for as he shined his flashlight among the resting cows, he saw a TIGER!  Its eyes glinted in the light, and Bruce knew he needed to get help … and quick!  Bruce dashed into the house and called the local police who wasted no time coming to the rescue.  Well, they wasted just a bit of time, first contacting the local zoo to see if any of their tigers were missing.

Once at the scene, armed officers from the North East Police Division surrounded the place. And they waited for the tiger to move.  And they waited … and waited … and after 45 minutes, they began to think that perhaps something wasn’t quite right.  Now, why they didn’t shine a bright light, or approach, I don’t know, unless they were trying not to scare the poor pregnant cows.  Finally, though, one of the officers cautiously approached the tiger and found …

stuffed tiger.png

Yep, you got it … a stuffed tiger!  Talk about some sheepish grins.  And you can only imagine the ribbing the officers took from the online community once the story was posted on Facebook

“The farmer was very complimentary about the attending officers, summarised by saying “they’re grrrrreat!”

“Hmmmm never seen a real tiger with a seam up it’s back and legs.”

“Could’ve been a ‘big cat astrophe.”


Who knew that Amazon sells a giant  beach ball …

The Beach Behemoth Giant Inflatable 12-Foot Pole-to-Pole Beach Ball by Sol Coastal

Price: $95.96 FREE Shipping for Prime members Details

giant ball

One customer gained attention when he gave the ball only a 2-star rating and wrote the following review:

“We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun-filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees. Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability.”

And of course others had to jump on the bandwagon with their comments …

comment

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For the price, I think I’ll pass …


reading toon

And since I haven’t given you any cute baby animal pictures lately …

baby ant eater

Baby Ant Eater

baby dik dik

Baby Dik Dik

 

baby dolphin

Baby Dolphin

baby duck

Baby Duck

baby gibbon

Baby Gibbon

baby lemur

Baby Lemur

Jaguar cub

Jaguar cub

leopard cub

Leopard cub

And, thanks to our friend Roger, this one has been on my mind all week …

Calvinball.png

And that, my dear friends, is about all we have time for today!  I hope you found something to make you smile here, and I wish you a wonderful weekend.  And what would Saturday Surprise be without at least one song chosen from my own personal favourites?  Keep safe, be happy, be kind.  Love ‘n hugs to you all …

 

 

 


 

End

 

Once Again, It’s … Jolly Monday!!!

Good Monday morning, friends … come in where it’s warm!  I hope you all had a fun-filled weekend, or at least a relaxing one.  You guys are looking a little sleepy this morning … I’m going to have to work extra hard to get a chuckle from you, I think.

paragraph divider 2A new twist for an old game?

My husband used to cheat on me.  Oh no … not in that sense … to the best of my knowledge, he never had an affair with another woman.  But he hated to lose at games … hated it so much that he was not beneath shortchanging other players, hiding their game pieces, or moving a hotel from somebody else’s property on to his own.  If all else failed and he lost anyway, he would lock himself into the bathroom and refuse to come out, so that eventually our guests would have to leave and go home to their own bathroom.

Hasbro, makers of the world-famous game Monopoly, has announced a new version of the game that rewards cheating and features handcuffs for those caught in the act.  According to senior vice president of Hasbro, Jonathan Berkowitz ….

“A recent study conducted by Hasbro revealed that nearly half of game players attempt to cheat during Monopoly games, so in 2018, we decided it was time to give fans what they’ve been craving all along – a Monopoly game that actually encourages cheating,”

Monopoly: Cheaters Edition, which is set for release this fall, offers 15 cheat cards with five placed in the middle of the board that ask players to carry out nefarious tasks including removing hotels, moving another player’s token, and stealing extra money from the bank that is without an assigned banker.

monopoly.jpgRewards for carrying out the cheat cards successfully without getting caught include extra cash or free properties while those caught will be sent to jail and potentially handcuffed to the board.

The game will be available this fall at a price of $19.99.  Board games in the era of Trump?

paragraph divider 2Van Gogh downgraded to graffiti??? 

Starry Night Van GoghNancy Nemhauser and Lubek Jastrzebski appreciate fine art, and decided to paint the wall outside their Mount Dora, Florida home, to resemble ‘Starry Night’, one of Vincent Van Gogh’s most famous works.  Who could have guessed that before long the city would find the couple in violation of the ‘graffiti law’ which states that any outside wall must match the house?

starry house2starry night houseWell, the couple did exactly what I would have done … they painted the house to match the wall!  The city dropped the graffiti violation, but then ruled that the house was “a sign” and failed to meet code. The couple has been fined $100 per day, and while the fines were to be capped at 31 days, a magistrate, David Tegeler, ruled last week that the fines could continue unabated.

Now what, you ask, does the city care?  According to unnamed city officials, the house is considered a sign, the artist who painted the house and wall, Richard Barrenechea, is getting business, and the house is a distraction for drivers.

Nemhauser and Jastrzebski, a Polish immigrant, have obtained an attorney who says they will exhaust all options in the courts before the couple will pay any fines.  I am no legal expert, but this seems a case of harassment on the part of the city.  If you ask me, the house adds character to the neighborhood.

paragraph divider 2How many plumbers does it take …?

Flight DY1156 from Oslo to Munich on Saturday January 27, returned to Oslo due to a technical fault with the toilet. The aircraft was repaired and continued with the flight later that day.

The irony?  There was a group of 85 plumbers onboard the aircraft!

“We would have liked to fix the restrooms, but unfortunately it had to be done from the outside and we did not take the opportunity to send a plumber [out] at 10,000 meters,” said Frank Olsen, a passenger and CEO of plumbing company Rorkjop.

paragraph divider 2How long does it take a ‘tuga to cross the street?

We all know that turtles, tortoises, tortugas, are slow, right?  ‘Tis how I came by my nickname of Tortuga, or ‘Tuga for short, for I am sometimes slow.  In Oxford, England last year, Leanna Morris’ pet tortoise somehow took off on an adventure when left in the yard for a bit of exercise.  Morris was bereft at the loss of the tortoise, Tallulah, and spent weeks searching and posting flyers around the neighborhood.

“After a month or so I thought, OK, I need to put all her things away. So I kind of took down her box. I took down her light. I put her food back. It felt empty.”

sadAnd then, this …

tortoiseYep, a microchip confirmed that the turtle found at the school was indeed Tallulah.  The school is across the street, precisely 1,056 feet from Morris’ house.  Tallulah and Leanna are once again  reunited … well, almost.  Tallulah is currently spending a bit of time at the vers being treated for malnutrition and a swollen eye.

turtleI just love happy endings, don’t you?

paragraph divider 2And now, my friends, as much as I am enjoying your company and wish we could spend the entire day together, I have laundry calling me, and you have jobs calling you, so we must part ways for a while.  Please remember to share your smiles today … they are much too beautiful to keep to yourselves!  I wish you all a wonderful week ahead … keep warm and safe!  Hugs ‘n love from Filosofa!

Saturday Surprise — Limericks!

Saturday is finally here, the weekend lies ahead, and it’s time for Saturday Surprise!  I was mopping the floors yesterday, trying to think of what I would do for this week’s post, and I thought, for some reason, of our friend Colette, who has been mostly off the grid since around Christmas … last I heard, they were in Thailand, I think.  Colette is one who can come up with a limerick to fit any occasion on the spot.  And I always enjoy her contributions.  I, however, am not in the least bit poetic.  In fact, when it comes to poetry, my college literature teacher seriously considered a career change after two semesters spent with me.  I am very much a literalist … I do not get sublety nor hidden meanings … I take both words and people at face value.  So no, I did not get that Frost was talking about homosexuality in one of his poems, and I did not understand the author’s meaning in so many stories and novels.

So no, I cannot write limericks, but I do enjoy them.  And so, for today’s post, I went in search of … a few fun and funny limericks!

A patient who kept getting worsetoon-1

Cried out ‘I must go home now, nurse!

You’ve done all your best

And performed every test

But I’ve come to the end of my purse!

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toon-2At times I’m so mad that I’m hopping.

My angriness sets my veins popping.

I yell and I curse,

With swearwords diverse,

But my wife does much worse: she goes shopping”

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toon-3There was a young fellow named Hall

Who fell in the spring in the fall.

‘Twould have been a sad thing

Had he died in the spring,

But he didn’t – he died in the fall.

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There was a young lady named Harris,toon-4

Whom nothing could ever embarrass,

Till the bath salts one day

In the tub where she lay

Turned out to be plaster of Paris

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Now if only Colette would drop by and add hers to the collection …

And on that note, I shall end with a song that has been stuck in my head for the past few days …

And let us not forget that tomorrow is the big day … Super Bowl Sunday!!!

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Have a great weekend everyone!!!

 

Jolly Monday #91

Good Monday morn, my wonderful friends! I was looking back through my archives and realized that I started this Jolly Monday feature in March, 2016, nearly two years ago, and that this is my 91st Jolly Monday post! I hope you are all well and happy, relaxed after your too-short weekend, and ready to tackle another week, do some great things, make the world a little bit better place.  What’s that?  Oh … a bit too much for so early on a Monday, eh?  Yeah, I think I agree with you.  Let’s then start the weekend with some fresh coffee and … I made fresh bagels for you this morning … blueberry and cinnamon crunch.  Speaking of cinnamon … I was out with the girls this evening and we stopped to pick up kittie food and litter, and I noticed a new flavour of Oreo cookies on the shelves

oreo.jpgI like hot ‘n spicy cinnamon, like Mexican chocolate, but when I showed them to Miss Goose, you would have thought I was showing her fresh road kill by the look on her face.  Anyway, grab a cup of coffee and a bagel … sorry, Hugh, but I’m all out of wine, for it’s been a rough week, y’know?  And let’s try to have a bit of fun before we start another week, shall we?


Oopsie … Wrong Number …

If you want some marijuana, perhaps you shouldn’t be texting the request to police.

drug-text.pngThe person sending the initial text, once realizing his misstep, typed:

“oh my god.  I’m so sorry”

Wouldn’t you have just loved to have seen the look on his or her face when she received the text showing the badge?


Grumpy Cat Is Rich

Grumpy Cat arrives to ride in the 84th Annual Hollywood Christmas Parade in the Hollywood section of Los Angeles, California.We all know and love Grumpy Cat, right?  Well, Grumpy Cat just won $710,000 in a lawsuit over copyright infringement.  Long story short, Grumpy Cat had a contract with coffee company Grenade Beverage LLC., giving them the rights to use her picture on its Grumpy Cat Grumppuccino iced drink.  The company ultimately used Grumpy’s picture on other products as well, and the matter has been bouncing about in the courts for a few years now.  Did the money make Grumpy Cat finally smile?  You be the judge …

Colorado Rockies v Arizona DiamondbacksThat is one cat that won’t be stuck eating kibble any more.  Meanwhile, though, in reading the article about the lawsuit, I found some interesting trivia about Grumpy Cat:

  • Grumpy’s real name is Tardar Sauce
  • Grumpy is actually a ‘she’ … I would have sworn it was a guy, with that level of grumpiness!!!
  • Grumpy and her owner, Tabatha Bundesen, live in Morristown, Arizona.
  • Grumpy Cat has her own company and an extensive list of merchandise and has had cameos in films and on TV.
  • She also has 1.42 million followers on Twitter, 2.4 million on Instagram and almost nine million likes on Facebook

Grumpy Cat arrives with his owner Tabatha Bundesen at the 2014 MTV Movie Awards in Los Angeles


French Riots Over … Nutella?

I like Nutella, the chocolate-hazelnut spread that can be found alongside the peanut-butter in your supermarket.  I don’t often buy it, but I do use it in a couple of recipes, and I like it on an English muffin every now and then.  But never in my life have I seen people go as crazy over the stuff as people in France did last week!

Riots … riots, they say, ensued after retailer Intermarché slashed the price for a jar of Nutella from 4.50 euros to 1.41 euros — from $5.60 to about $1.75.  I have to ask why it was $5.60 to begin with, for it is only about $2 here.

nutellaIn at least three cases, police were called after customers came to blows in the frenzy for Nutella.  “At 8:15, there was already a waiting line of 200 people in front of the store” said one Intermarché employee. “After a few minutes, the director had to intervene. He distributed one pot per person, next to a security guard. The pallet was empty after 10 minutes.”

Describing customers running and fighting, a manager of a store in Metz said: “People were aggressive. They were trying to tear the pots out and menacing us.”  All over a jar of Nutella … who knew?


Lastly, an article in a UK publication tells of some of the stranger things people have called 999 (the UK equivalent of our 911) for, and I found them funny …

  • A concerned woman dialled 999 for help because her pet cat looked unwell.
  • One caller phoned 999 because they had a dry mouth, and one woman complained of irritated eyes from false eyelashes she had done five days previously.
  • Another man demanded an ambulance because he had been coughing for two weeks.
  • The East Midlands Ambulance Service even received a call from a woman asking if a broken egg could be left overnight in the fridge.

ambulanceMethinks that some people need to learn the definition of ‘emergency’.  Back in the day, when some of my staff would call off work for an emergency, I gave them my definition, which I still hold to today:  If somebody is dead or likely to be in the next 24 hours, it’s an emergency.  Everything else can wait until the end of your shift.


Okay, folks, I hope you are relaxed now and in a good frame of mind to face the week ahead.  I wish you all a wonderful week.  Keep safe and warm, and please, my friends … share a few smiles this week.  Not everybody got to come here for coffee, bagels, and my strange sense of humour!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa!

Monday-basket-smiles

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Saturday Surprise — Let’s Travel!

Good Saturday morning, friends!  We made it through yet another work week,, hopefully none the worse for wear, and now it’s time to have a fun, relaxing weekend, yes?  Last evening I was wracking my brain (yes, it did hurt, as a matter of fact) for a fresh idea for Saturday Surprise, and I decided that it is time for a bit of travel to some unique and interesting places.  So, fasten your seatbelts, and sime I’m driving here, you might also consider a crash helmet!

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Let us begin our journey in Hanoi, Vietnam …

We live about two miles from a set of railroad tracks, and I rarely hear them during the day, as there are two busy streets and an interstate highway between our home and the train tracks, but late at night, especially when it is quiet, with no furncace or television to distract, you can hear the whistle and even the clacking of the wheels on the track.  That is from two miles.  Imagine if you lived in the Old Quarter of Hanoi …

Diesel train coming down the train tracks through a narrow street in Hanoi showing how close the inhabitants live to the tracks. Image shot 2014. Exact date unknown.

Every day around 3:00 p.m. and again at about 7:00 p.m., the train comes barreling through this neighborhood.  Drying clothes are carried inside, children ushered indoors, and bikes pulled to the side of the road just before the train speeds past, with a couple feet of clearance at most on each side. In some places the train is mere inches from the buildings.

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The street’s residents press tight to the walls or duck into nearby doorways with a startling nonchalance and go right back to walking across or sitting on the tracks as soon as the train has passed.

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I can only imagine what that would do to dishes sitting near the edge of a table, not to mention the nerves of the people who live on that street.


Next let’s pop over to Kiev, in the Ukraine, for a look at an interesting museum …

The Toilet History Museum is flush with toilet tidbits and facts you probably didn’t learn in a history class. You’ll discover how toilets looked 5,000 years ago, why medieval toilets were called “wardrobes,” and how a toilet invented by Leonardo da Vinci functioned.

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The toilet museum covers the many types of commodes throughout history, from Egyptian limestone toilet seats to the mechanics of a modern-day loo. It aims to explore culture and history through the lens of an everyday experience shared by people around the world.

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But that’s not all.  They even have a giftshop where you can buy ashtrays, key rings, lighters, and tobacco pipes in the form of a water-closet!  What’s not to love, eh?  In related museums, there is, in Sandown, England, there is a National Poo Museum, but … I didn’t think that would set well on a Saturday morning, so I am not taking you there tody.

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While we’re in England, let’s run over to London for a minute, for there’s a library I wanted to check out …

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It may not look like much on the outside, but this building houses Britain’s largest clown school, London’s National Centre for Circus Arts, formerly Circus Space.  Founded in 1989 by Jonathan P. Graham, this is the only such school to offer accredited BA (Hons) and Postgraduate programs in Circus Arts in the UK.

circus spaceDegree student Michael Standen sums up most people’s reaction when they visit this unique space, “I decided to go to circus school and came here and my mind was blown.”


And lastly, let’s make a quick stop at ISHINOMAKI, Japan.

Tashirojima Island initially caught my eye because it reminded me of my own home, with the description: On the island of Tashirojima, the cats outnumber people, and the people like it that way.  In my house, there are 3 humans and 7 felines, so we are outnumbered approximately 2-to-1.  Most times tt’s not a problem, but on the rare occasion we happen to run out of the canned food and they have only kibble to eat … we get nervous.

cat-1It’s no accident that the cats who inhabit Tashirojima, or what has become known as “Cat Island,” in Japan have come to be the island’s primary residents. Cats have long been thought by the locals to represent luck and good fortune, and doubly so if you feed and care for them. Thus, the cats are treated like kings, and although most are feral because keeping them as “pets” is generally considered inappropriate, they are well-fed and well-cared-for.

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Well-fed, indeed!

While the feline population is on the rise, not so the human population that has dropped from over 1,000 fifty years ago, to right around 100 today.

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nd no, folks, I am jet-lagged and ready to go home.  I hope you enjoyed today’s brief tour, and that you all have a wonderful weekend.  Love and hugs to all from Filosofa!

The New Rules of Presidential Etiquette

For eight years, the Republicans gave President Barack Obama and his family grief.  I’m not even talking policy here, not talking about ACA, Afghanistan, Gitmo, or any of a thousand other issues.  I am talking style, demeanor, etiquette.  Just a few examples:

  • For a time, during the 2008 campaign, before Obama was even elected, he was criticized for not wearing the flag lapel pin that all candidates wear to signal their patriotism, even as they are lying through their teeth. Obama stated in 2007 that he felt the wearing of the lapel pin had become a substitute for true patriotism, but to hear the republicans, why he might as well have been an axe murderer.
  • During a White House press briefing in 2014, President Obama had the unmitigated gall to … GASP … wear a tan-coloured suit! He might just as well have come to the briefing in his flannel jammies and bunny slippers, for all the hullabaloo over the ‘casualness’ of his attire.

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  • In August 2013, there was “shock, outrage and mocking criticism” as a picture hit the media of President Obama with … GASP … his feet on his desk! Perish the thought!!!

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  • And hold on to your seats, folks, for in April 2009, Obama had the cheek to actually toss a football … in the Oval Office!!! How this man was not impeached, we’ll never understand!
  • At one point, Obama was even criticized for eating Dijon mustard on his hamburger, and Fox News’ own Sean Hannity referred to him as ‘President Poupon’. Why, he must be some sort of communist pinko, eating that there French mustard … what’s wrong with good ol’ American yellow mustard?

These stories were all headline news at the time, and the republicans were shocked, horrified, and disgusted, but unfortunately, they were not rendered speechless as we might have hoped.  But it didn’t begin and end only with the president.  His family was to feel the wrath of the republicans also.

  • michelle-4Often and repeatedly Michelle Obama was criticized for ‘weighing too much’, despite the fact that she is quite slim and in excellent physical condition. She was criticized by Sarah Palin for not paying enough attention to dessert.  She was criticized for wearing a sleeveless dress.  She was criticized for doing push-ups.  And of course she was criticized for making healthier school lunches a part of her agenda as First Lady.

While any president’s minor children are typically considered to be ‘off limits’, the Obama girls, Malia and Sasha, took their share of criticism.

  • They were criticized for their dress and behaviour and told to ‘try showing a little class’. Note that when Obama was inaugurated, Malia was 11 years old, and Sasha was 8.  Given their ages and the situation into which they found themselves thrust, I would say they showed remarkable class (remember George W. Bush’s daughters?)  But they were criticized during their 8 years in the White House for everything from their dress to Malia’s choice of a college in 2016.

So as we can see, it appears that the public and particularly republicans, are very particular about things like etiquette and deportment of the president and his family, yes?

Republicans guide etiquette

The Republican’s Guide to Presidential Behaviour

In May 2017, three months into Donald Trump’s regime, the New York Times ran what would become a series, The Republican’s Guide to Presidential Behavior.    It is a tongue-in-cheek series outlining how the standards have changed in the short time since Trump has been in office.  A few examples from the May article:

If you are the president, you may freely:

  • demand personal loyalty from the F.B.I. director

  • attack private citizens on Twitter

  • accuse a former president, without evidence, of an impeachable offense

  • call the media “the enemy of the American people”

  • intimidate congressional witnesses

  • hide the White House visitors’ list from the public

  • vacation at one of your private residences nearly every weekend

  • criticize specific businesses for dropping your family members’ products

  • review and discuss highly sensitive intelligence in a restaurant, and allow the Army officer carrying the “nuclear football” to be photographed and identified by name

  • hire relatives for key White House posts, and let them meet with foreign officials and engage in business at the same time

The list goes on, but remember, that was only in the first three months!  Well, the article, written by he Times’ Editorial Board, was originally intended to be a one-shot thing, but by October, it became obvious that a follow-up was needed, so they came up with another:

In 2017, there’s a whole new bar for tolerable conduct by the commander in chief. Our original guide cataloged several dozen examples. Almost five months later, it’s clear that an update is necessary. This expanded list is meant to ensure that Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell and other congressional Republicans never forget what they now condone in a president.

So, if you are the president, you may:

  • Mock a foreign leader with a demeaning nickname and threaten his country with nuclear annihilation over Twitter

  • Call for the firing of “son of a bitch” athletes who choose to exercise their right to free speech

  • Criticize victims of that hurricane still living without drinking water or electricity by saying they “want everything to be done for them”

  • Attack a senator battling terminal cancer

  • Behave so erratically and irresponsibly that senators of your own party resort to saying you’re treated like someone at “an adult day-care center” to keep you from starting World War III

  • Spend one of every three days as president visiting at least one of your own properties

  • Tweet GIFs of yourself violently attacking the media and your former political opponent

And again, the list goes on.  But the new standards weren’t yet complete, even in October, so once again, this month, January 2018, the Times’ Editorial Board saw a need to further update the list:

As part of our continuing effort to resist the exhausting and numbing effects of living under a relentlessly abusive and degrading president, we present, for the third time in nine months, an updated guide to what Republicans now consider to be acceptable behavior from the commander in chief.

IF YOU ARE PRESIDENT, YOU MAY NOW:

  • Imply, without evidence, that a television anchor was involved in a murder

  • Question the authenticity of a recording of you bragging about sexual assault, even though you previously admitted it was real

  • Retweet inflammatory and fake anti-Muslim videos from an ultranationalist British group

  • Call the American justice system a “joke” and a “laughingstock”

  • Have your lawyer pay $130,000 in hush money to a porn star with whom you had an affair while your wife was at home caring for your new son

  • Exploit a White House event honoring Native American veterans to mock a senator with a racially charged slur

  • Tell your rich friends after your tax bill passes, “You all just got a lot richer”

And still, the list goes on.  I strongly suspect there will be a fourth installment of this New York Times series, unless we are fortunate enough to see Trump leave the Oval Office sometime in the coming months.  They said that the Obamas lacked dignity and grace, had no class?  President Obama had more class in his little toe than Donald Trump will ever have.  Stay tuned for more …

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Where Have All The Big Macs Gone?

 

♫ Have a Holly Jolly … Monday? ♪

Good Monday morning, friends!  I hope the weather has finally gotten warmer where you live (except for my friends down under, where the mercury was already breaking heat records) … it has been above freezing for two whole days now!  I finally ventured out of my lair on Saturday, as did every other human being in the country!  But it was nice, and according to the 10-day forecast, it is supposed to stay relatively mild for a while, anyway. I know, I know … you guys have to go back to work, back to the office intrigue and the ol’ nine-to-five … so let’s see if we can start this week out with a laugh, or even just a chuckle, so it won’t seem quite so bad.  Yes, Steve … there are donuts and fresh coffee, too.  I apologize for last week … grab a cuppa and a donut, and relax for a few minutes …

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A little bit of hedgehog love?

There is a new café in Tokyo called Harry.  No, not Harry’s … just Harry.  It is a play on the Japanese word for hedgehog, Harinezumi. And by the way, don’t go to Harry with an appetite, for no food is served.  So what is Harry?  It is the latest in the recent trend of animal cafés, the Hedgehog café.  Remember the Owl café and the Snake café I wrote about back in 2016? The owners of Harry, by the way, own a rabbit café in the same building, called Ms. Bunny.

hedgehog-cafeSo here’s how it works …

You go in, take your seat, and then either ask for a specific hedgehog or pick one you’d like and the staff will bring it to you. Once you’ve had enough, you can swap it with another one.

hedgehog-1When you handle it, you’re supposed to cup your hands – they said as if you’re cupping water – and let it sit there. Once it settles, you can stroke it and let it move around on your hands.

Living conditions are crowded in Tokyo, and I think not many families have room for pets such as dogs ‘n cats, so this is how they get their fix of cute, fluffy critters. The cost?  On weekdays they charge 1,000 yen ($9.20; £6.40) for 30 minutes, on weekends 1,300 yen. When I think about it, that is less than food, kitty litter, vet visits, calming fluid, and hairball medicine for the Significant Seven … hmmmm … anybody in the market for an autistic cat, or the cat from hell?

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And yet another ‘Harry’ …

Prince Harry and his fiancée Meghan Markle are all over the news these days, and wouldn’t you know people will find ways to profit from them.  The latest is designer Shirley Corsey, who has designed Harry & Meghan dolls that look absolutely nothing like … Harry and Meghan.

In fact, the dolls are just a little bit creepy, if you ask me.  And they seem even creepier when you check out the price tag! You can buy them on Etsy for a mere … wait for it … £130, or $180.35 … plus tax & shipping, of course.

The dolls elicited quite a Twitter-storm …

“Let me list the things that are wrong with these new ‘Harry & Meghan’ dolls. Everything.” – 8:17 AM – Jan 18, 2018

“These “Harry” and “Meghan” dolls really are off their clackers.” – 8:32 AM – Jan 18, 2018

“Dolls freak me out anyway, but there’s something especially creepy about the lifelike face on the Harry, and his eyes! Looks nothing like him though.  And the Meghan looks like the face from the original Chucky doll. 😂 – 7:59 AM – Jan 19, 2018

‘Nuff said.


Beware the donut man!

Bradley Hardison of Elizabeth City, North Carolina, can eat a lot of doughnuts, but he really is not too smart.  In August 2014, Hardison entered a police-sponsored contest in Elizabeth City to see who could eat more donuts in a two-minute period than the police.  You know, of course, that police nationwide are known for their ability to put away the donuts.  Hardison won that contest by eating eight donuts in two minutes … yuck.  But his victory celebration was short-lived, for the very next day, after seeing his picture in the paper, the local Sheriff’s Office caught up with him after months of investigation, and arrested Hardison on charges related to break-ins at two grocery stores in 2013. He was convicted and received a suspended sentence of three years, which ended last October.

HardisonWhich brings us to last week, when Hardison returned to a life of crime, this time robbing … A Dunkin’ Donuts shop!  He has been charged with felony breaking and entering, felony safe cracking and felony larceny, and is being held on $7,000 bond.  I’ve always heard that donuts were bad for you!


‘Sno Car …

Okay, I’ve built snowmen … or, to be more politically correct here, snow people, and snow forts, snowballs and the like.  But Simon Laprise of Montreal, Canada, decided to take snow sculpting to a new level when he built a quite realistic looking snow car! And not, I might add, just any car, but his snow sculpture was modeled after the DeLorean, such as the one featured in the movie Back to the Future.

snow car“It was a beautiful day. So I decided to do something out of the mountain of snow, to do a little joke to the snow guys, and have fun sculpting a car. It’s not my first one, just the first I do in the street on snow removal day.”

Laprise sculpted the car to look like it had been parked throughout a snow storm for days. He even added indentions for the wheels and windows — and then threw a spare windshield wiper he found lying around for a special touch.

Now, there are two versions about what happened next, and I really have no idea which is true.  The first, according to UPI, is that when police came around to look for cars parked on that side of the road during snow plowing hours, they wrote a ticket and left it on a windshield made of snow.  But, according to CBSNews, VOX, and other sources, the ticket was a joke, as the officers realized the ‘car’ was made of snow.

snow-car-noteEither way, I suspect Mr. Laprise had a lot of fun with this one!


Well, my dear friends … I hope I’ve at least brought a smile to your faces this morning that you can share with others, for times are tough for so many these days … please remember to share that gorgeous smile!  Now get thee to the office to work!  Keep safe and warm, my friends.  Love and Hugs from Filosofa!

I was never a huge fan of Elvis, but this song always touches something in me …

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This is our Tiger Lily … cruel, vicious, but oh so adorable!

'Thanks, but my homework is a little beyond your skill set, Mom.'

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This one’s for you, Hugh!