Jolly Mon … Er, Um … Toosday!

Good Monday Tuesday morning, my friends!  Sorry we’re a bit late starting this week out … circumstances beyond our control and all that, y’know.  Anyway, Joyful has made pizza for your Tuesday morning palate and we’ve got some ‘toons and other fun stuff for you today, so grab a bite and let’s start this week out … better late than never!



And now, bring on the ‘toons!!!


I found some weally funny signs to share with you …

I just LOVE this one!!!


And finally, it just wouldn’t be Jolly Monday Tuesday without a cute animal video, now would it?  This one’s a little longer than usual, but I thought it was well worth the extra few minutes …


We hope you have a good week ahead and that you share your lovely smiles with others who might need them even more.  Keep warm and safe, dear friends.  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa, Jolly and Joyful!

Saturday Surprise — Humour

I wracked my brain last night for something fun and humorous for Saturday Surprise, but perhaps because I was tired, nothing seemed to fit the bill.  I did, however, come across some things that might just bring about a chuckle or two!  First, a few stories I found on the Reader’s Digest website that made me chuckle …

  • At the doctor’s office, a 20-something man was trying to make an appointment for a Mrs. Brown. Try as he might, he just could not remember her first name. Frustrated, he left. A few minutes later, I passed him outside the office on the phone.“Hey, Dad,” he said. “What’s Mom’s first name?”

  • In his late 80s, my father-in-law went to the DMV to renew his driver’s license. At one point during the road test, he approached a four-way stop, looked to his left, and cruised straight through the stop sign. “Sir! You didn’t look to your right,” yelled the frightened inspector. My father-in-law calmly shook his head. “That’s Mum’s side.”

  • I was waiting at a small train station when a man put up a sign regarding my train: “30-Minute Delay.” “What happened?” I asked. “The train went off the rails,” he said. “How long will that take to fix?” “Quite a few hours.” “So why put up a sign saying it would take 30 minutes?” “It’s the only sign we have.”

  • A few of us were discussing the perils of drinking and driving when my five-year-old granddaughter threw in her two cents. “I can see why it would be dangerous to drink and drive,” she said. “The straw could go up your nose.”

  • When the box with my Halloween costume arrived, it was empty. I called the company and asked where my Maid Marian costume was. “We’re sorry, ma’am. We’ll send your costume tomorrow,” the representative said. “In the meantime, feel free to keep the Lady Godiva costume you got by mistake.”

  • We Uber drivers never know whom we’re going to end up with as a passenger. One day, I was driving over a new bridge, the design of which was very confusing. Completely confounded, I muttered, “I’d love to meet the genius who designed this mess.” With that, my passenger extended his hand in my direction and said, “Well, today is your lucky day. My name is Mike, I work for the county engineer’s office, and I’m the genius who designed this!” Surprisingly, he still gave me a tip.

  • I was admiring my aunt’s necklace when she surprised me by announcing, “I’m leaving it to you in my will.” I was overjoyed, perhaps too much. “Oh!” I shouted. “I’m looking forward to that!”

  • Turning to me with some urgency, my sleeping husband stated, “I have to do the cat’s taxes!”

  • A woman at our checkout counter didn’t have enough money to cover her purchase of toilet paper, so I paid the 96 cents. “Thank you,” she said. “I’m going to think of you every time I use this paper.”

  • I grew up above my father’s tavern. When we were kids, we would race each other down the stairs every morning to sweep up the bar and find the change customers had dropped during the night. Years later, as an adult, I found out that my father would throw a few coins over the bar for us to find in the morning. It cost him only a dollar a day to have us fight to be the first one to clean the bar.

  • My friend took her teenage daughter to a new doctor for a checkup. The nurse asked the usual questions, including if she had an STD. “No,” said the teen. “We have a Toyota.”

And a few work-related ‘toons …


Well, folks, that’s all I can come up with for today.  I hope you all have a good weekend.  Keep warm and safe!

A Chuckle For The Day

I thought a bit of timely humour would be good today.  Alexandra Petri is a Washington Post columnist offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day.  While there isn’t much to laugh about in the news these days, sometimes I think we need to laugh anyway … or at least chuckle.


‘Let’s ban algebra, too!’ adds Fla. legislator who is clearly not three kids in a trench coat

By Alexandra Petri

Columnist

TALLAHASSEE — Florida legislators are working hard to pass a bill that, as the Associated Press observed, would “prohibit public schools and private businesses from making white people feel ‘discomfort’ when they teach students or train employees about discrimination in the nation’s past.”

“This is good,” added one legislator, in a trench coat and hat, whose voice sounded somewhat muffled, as though it came from around his rib cage. “But it doesn’t go far enough.” His whole body swayed and undulated strangely.

“Yes!” his head added. “It is good, but we need to pass more laws.”

“More?” one of his colleagues inquired, handing him a drink of water. He missed grabbing the water the first time and then poured it all over his face and body, and a voice from beneath his belt said, “Stop it, Jeremy!”

“History is good to ban, but it is not enough,” the legislator said, when he had composed himself. “History is actually way less discomfortable than lots of other subjects, and if we are really serious about ending discomfort, we should ban those first.”

“Go on!” his colleague said excitedly. A small crowd was beginning to form around him.

“The book bans are good,” the legislator’s midsection went on, while his hands attempted to straighten his hat but knocked it off instead. “Less reading is good. English is a big source of discomfort.”

“Yes!” one of his colleagues agreed, picking up the hat and handing it to him, which only took three tries. Several other legislators nodded aggressively. “They are trying to indoctrinate our youth with critical race theory, and we won’t let them! They want White people to learn about events that happened in the past, which causes discomfort, and we will not have it!”

“It’s not just learning about events that happened in the past that makes you feel discomfort,” the mysterious legislator in the trench coat said. “Algebra actually causes way more discomfort than history.”

“And geometry,” his rib cage added.

“And biology!” his face continued. “The law is good because it sounds like history is pretty much banned, but what about math? What about science? What about the part of science where sometimes they make you dissect a frog?”

“Or P.E.!” his midsection shouted.

“We should have clearer laws against all of those, so that people don’t feel discomfort. White people, Black people, people in general.”

“And pop quizzes,” said his head. “And French. And book reports!”

His colleagues nodded uncertainly.

“We’ve got to protect everyone from discomfort at all costs,” the legislator went on. “That’s the most important thing. That’s what people need to do right now. Make clear laws against any subject that could possibly cause discomfort.”

He produced a list that was written in pencil on a sheet of graph paper that said, “More Subjects To Ban To Preserve Freedom,” which appeared to be just a list of every subject taught in middle school, with a crudely drawn picture of Naruto in the corner.

“Thank you for this,” his colleague said. “We are going to give this the consideration it deserves.”

Another legislator looked puzzled. “But then, what will they learn?” he asked.

But the legislator in the trench coat with the good ideas had already vanished as mysteriously as he had come.

Jolly Cold Monday Afternoon!

G-g-good M-M-Monday a-afterrnoon my friends!  It’s c-c-cold here with temps in the single digits and a few inches of snow outside!  Are any of my friends in Australia in need of some company this week?  Brrrrrrrrrr.  We’re having Jolly Monday a few hours later than usual this week, because it is Martin Luther King Day and I wanted to lead with that this morning, but never fear, we are here!

Well, here it is, the beginning of another week.  Do you realize that January is already more than halfway over?  Before you know it, it’ll be time to start planning the Thanksgiving meal again!  My girls still have their Easter baskets out from last year … not much point in putting them away now, is there?  Anyway, Joyful has some nice warm treats to help you stave off the cold today, while we all have some fun things in store for you.  So, grab a snack and a cuppa something warm, and let’s have a few laughs, shall we?


We have a few cute pictures that made us go “Awwwwwwwwwwwww”, and we think you will too …


And of course, the staple of Jolly Monday is always the ‘toons …


I was in the mood for a ‘knock-knock’ joke or two …

  • Knock! Knock!
    • Who’s there?
    • Mikey
    • Mikey who?
    • Mikey isn’t working, can you let me in?
  • Knock! Knock!
    • Who’s there?
    • Scold
    • Scold who?
    • Scold outside, let me in!
  • Knock! Knock!
    • Who’s there?
    • Needle
    • Needle who?
    • Needle little help getting in the door!
  • Knock! Knock!
    • Who’s there?
    • I am.
    • I am who?
    • You tell me!!

Okay, corny I know, but every now and then I just like a good knock-knock joke!  Now, because we have a few very dedicated bacon-lovers here on Monday mornings, here’s a bit of bacon humour …


And last but never least, it just isn’t Jolly Monday without a cute critter video …


I hope you all have a great week … keep warm and safe, and share those beautiful smiles I see on your faces!  Until next Monday, love ‘n hugs from Filosofa, Jolly, and Joyful!

The Week’s Best Cartoons 1/15

These days there is so much material for the political cartoonists to work with that I’m surprised any of them are finding time to eat or sleep!  It also makes it hard for us to choose, for there are so many good ‘toons out there that sum up a story in a nutshell.  As she does every week, our friend TokyoSand over at Political Charge has culled the cream of the crop from last week’s offerings.  Here is just a sampling, but be sure to visit TS (link at end) for the full line-up!  Thank you, TS, for all your hard work!


After a bit of a holiday lull, editorial cartoonists were churning out one great cartoon after another this week. Here are some of my favorites. Voting Rights & the Filibuster By Kevin Siers By Clay Jones By Marc Murphy By Lalo Alcaraz By Matt Davies By Walt Handelsman By Nick Anderson Republicans…

See all the ‘toons at TokyoSand’s Political Charge!

Saturday Surprise — Fun Facts!

I realized too late last week that Saturday had come and gone and I hadn’t even thought of a Saturday Surprise post, so I vowed not to make the same mistake this week!  I hope you are all having a safe and relaxing weekend so far.  We are, as usual, staying in this weekend, with daughter Chris going out to pick up a few things and a carryout dinner later this evening.

I found some interesting and fun facts over at Bored Panda and I picked 10 of them to share on this post, but if you still want more, I suggest you head on over and see all 50 of them!

I can ABSOLUTELY believe this one!!!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and that you find something to bring you laughter and joy!

Wally World Comes To Your Fridge!

Just how lazy can people be?  Now, admittedly, I have been taking advantage of the Kroger’s ‘click-list’ whereby I place an online grocery order, then just drive up at the appointed time and a Kroger employee brings my groceries out and loads them into my car.  I started doing this in the early days of the pandemic and have continued due to both the pandemic and my own health problems.  I don’t subscribe to their delivery service, in part because of the cost of about $20 per delivery, but there have been times in the past 4 months that it’s been tempting.  Still … I would never … not in a million years … subscribe to the new service offered by Wal-Mart.

From an article in CNN Business …

“Walmart is expanding its push to deliver groceries straight into customers’ kitchen fridges, even when they aren’t home.

Walmart (WMT) said Wednesday that it plans to make InHome, its $148 annual delivery option, available to 30 million US households by the end of the new year, up from six million today.

Walmart did not disclose how many shoppers have signed up or stuck with the program. But it’s targeting wealthier, time-strapped customers who are willing to pay a subscription — and are comfortable with a stranger entering their kitchen — to avoid going to the store or sitting at home waiting for their order to arrive.

Here’s how InHome works: Customers who subscribe order groceries online and select InHome as their delivery option. Walmart’s employees wear a camera when they enter customers’ homes, allowing shoppers to watch the process live from their phones.”

I’m sorry, but I really don’t want a stranger rooting around inside my fridge!  What’s next … they come and cook the food for you, too?  Perhaps they could throw in a load of laundry and unload the dishwasher while waiting for the veggies to sautè?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to Kroger and pick up my online order!

Jolly (Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) Monday!!!

Good Monday morning, friends!  I almost skipped Jolly Monday because I was so exhausted last night, but Jolly offered to help out more than usual, saying, “Gwammie … EVEWYBODY needs to have somethin’ to laugh ‘bout to start da week!”  Realizing he’s right, Joyful fixed me another cuppa coffee and Jolly went in search of ‘toons while I dug up a funny critter video!  Meanwhile, Joyful has been a busy beaver in the kitchen this morning, so let’s go see what she’s got for us, shall we?

Breakfast Feast – Photographed on Hasselblad H3D2-39mb Camera

Mmmmm … that was delectable!  Thank you, Joyful!


I had to laugh at this story, as I can so well relate to it!

On Black Friday, Jessica and Nikii Gerson-Neeves bought a blender. It was a Vitamix blender, a professional-grade splurge, and the couple was looking forward to a winter of smoothies and soups.

It arrived on Dec. 16 at their home on Vancouver Island in British Columbia. Jessica put the hefty box down on the floor in the kitchen, just for a second. Her 4-year-old tuxedo cat, Max, otherwise known as the “sentient soccer ball,” jumped up on the box. Jessica thought it was funny and snapped a photo.

Then Max’s 13-year-old feline siblings, George: Destroyer of Worlds (“sentient potato”) and Lando Calrissian (“the questionably sentient dust bunny,”), demanded their turn on the knee-high box.

That was three weeks ago. Since then, the cats have refused to leave the box, fighting over who gets to perch upon it and taking turns standing guard while the others eat or are busy elsewhere. The blender remains ensconced inside.


And now, let’s go see what fun ‘toons Jolly found over at Phil’s Phun …


Wait, Gwammie … I found some funny memes, too!


And last, it just wouldn’t be Jolly Monday without a cute animal video, now would it?  If you ask me, the Pandas won this round, but then the human was outnumbered by 5-to-1 …


Well, friends, it’s c-c-cold out there today, so be sure to bundle up warm if you must be outside.  Don’t forget to share those smiles, and maybe throw in a few kind words if somebody looks like they need them.  Have a wonderful week ahead … Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa, Jolly, and Joyful!

 

The Week’s Best Cartoons 1/8

This is TokyoSand’s first cartoon post of the year and one that is well worthy of sharing.  Needless to say, the main topic of the week is the one-year anniversary of the attempted coup on January 6th … and some of the ‘toons have brilliantly captured the thoughts and reactions one year later.  As always, TS has culled the best of the lot for us, so enjoy!  Thank you, TokyoSand, for all your hard work on these Saturday posts!


It’s a new year and I’m back with our normal Saturday editorial cartoons feature. This year started off with a bang! New Year By Mike Luckovich By Walt Handlesman By Rob Tornoe January 6 Anniversary By Pat Bagley By Bill Bramhall By Mike Luckovich By Michael Ramirez By Lalo Alcaraz By Kal…

See all the ‘toons at TokyoSand’s Political Charge!

Jolly First Monday Of 2022!

Good first-Monday-morning-of-the-year, my friends!  Joyful is off helping Roger do something with his tower this morning, so the food prep was left up to me.  You know what that means!  Jolly offered to help, but as you’ll remember, in years past he has set the kitchen afire twice, so he is effectively banned from the kitchen!  Anyway, grab yourself a snack and a nice warm cuppa something and let’s see if we can bring about a few chuckles to start this week off on the right foot, shall we?

Those of you who know me well know that I consider peanut butter to be nature’s most perfect food.  If I had to live my life out on a desert island with only one food available, I would choose peanut butter!

And because I know we all need to eat lots of fruits and veggies for our continued well-being …

Sorry, friends … you had your fill of bacon last week on National Bacon Day!  This week, you’re on the wagon!


Have any of you ever heard of a movie, produced and released in 2010, about a tire (tyre for our UK friends) named Robert that goes on a murderous rampage in the California desert?  I had not heard of it until I saw this meme over at Phil’s Phun and had to investigate to see if it was a joke or not.  It’s not – it’s an actual movie, although it was never a box office hit (gee, I wonder why?)

Naturally, my curiosity was piqued and I just had to go find a short trailer for the movie …

The movie starts with Robert (the tire/tyre) standing upright and discovering that he has psychokinesis. He tests his newfound powers by making animals and inanimate objects explode. Robert spots a woman drive by and attempts to use his powers on her, but he only succeeds in making her car stall before he is run over by a truck. The woman manages to start her car and drive off while Robert kills the truck driver that ran him over.  I won’t tell you any more just in case you decide to watch the flick yourself, though I wouldn’t waste my time if I were you, but at the end, Robert is killed and then reincarnated as a killer tricycle!  I do believe this has to be the strangest movie plot I’ve ever heard of!  You can catch it on Amazon if you’re so inclined …


And now, let’s leave the bizarre behind and go see what fun ‘toons Jolly has chosen for us today!


I found a few memes that made me chuckle and I hope you will too …


Today’s cute animal video is a short one but cute and funny.  Be sure to see the surprise ending!


Well, folks, it’s that time when we all have things to do and places to be, so we thank you for spending a bit of your Monday morning with us.  Keep safe & warm and have a great week.  Oh, and be sure to share those delightful smiles I see you wearing!  After all, not everybody was able to see the cute polar bears!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa, Jolly and Joyful!