Knock-Knock … It’s Jolly Monday!!!

Welcome Friends!!!  I feel like it’s been more than a week since we had our last Jolly Monday … I’ve missed you all!  I hope you had a wonderful weekend, that everybody is well and happy, and ready to face a new week! I would like to pull a Rip van Winkle and sleep until about January, for the expensive time of year is coming up.  Daughter Chris’ birthday is the 26th, Miss Goose’s birthday is November 28th, and then, of course, there is Christmas.  I tried to convince the girls to have birthdays one year, and Christmas the next … y’know, just alternate and save a bundle.  Do you think they bought into that?  Noooooo … sigh.  Anyway, in the words of Scarlett O’Hara, “I won’t worry about that today, I’ll worry about it tomorrow.”  So for today, let us grab a cup of coffee, a bite of something, and have a few laughs together.


Leetspeak …

Yesterday I received one of those ‘milestone’ notifications from WordPress.  You know … the ones where they say “Congratulations, you now have 1,000 followers” or some such.  This one, however, confused the heck out of me:

“Congratulations on writing 1337 posts on Filosofa’s Word!”

I read it to Miss Goose, laughing as I jokingly said … “Is there some special significance to the number 1,337?”  Turns out there is, and Miss Goose knew exactly what it was.  “It’s leet,” she said.

“Leak?”

“No, leet.”

“Leap?”

“No … leetL-E-E-T! It’s an internet abbreviation, like ‘rofl’ or ‘omg’, only 1337 stands for leet.”

More confused than ever, not having a clue what she just said, I turned to Google.  Google directed me to Wikipedia who had this to say about 1337:

“Leet (or “1337”), also known as eleet or leetspeak, is an alternative alphabet for many languages that is used primarily on the Internet. It uses some characters to replace others in ways that play on the similarity of their glyphs via reflection or other resemblance. For example, leet spellings of the word leet include 1337 and l33t; eleet may be spelled 31337 or 3l33t. The term leet is derived from the word elite. The leet alphabet is a specialized form of symbolic writing.”

And I still have no clue what any of this means, so my final conclusion is that I do not care, I have more important things to think about, and that is that.  I just thought I would share this because perhaps some of you already received this message from WordPress and were confounded as I was.  Hopefully I helped clear it up for you.


A Rocking Chair or an Airplane?

Wagstaff-5Meet Trish Wagstaff.  Ms. Wagstaff is 85 years of age and a widow.  She has always been active, but after hip replacement surgery in 2002, friends thought she would slow down.  She was, after all, 70-years old!  But don’t expect to see Ms. Wagstaff in a rocking chair with knitting needles in her hand.  She will be … well here … they say a picture is worth a thousand words …

She has been on the longest zipwire in Europe and performed a catapulted paraglide, a 100m abseil down the Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth, swum with sharks, has wing-walked and paraglided.

Trish urged other pensioners to swap the sedentary lifestyle for a bit of action. She said: “An awful lot of people in their 70s have said to me, ‘I can’t do it, I’m far too old.’ I would encourage pensioners to stop saying ‘I’m old’ and get up and do something.”

Now, I greatly admire this woman, her fortitude, stamina and courage.  But dear friends, I am only 66 and I am telling you … do not even think you will talk me into any of this!  Adventure for me these days comes in different forms, from chopping onions and trying to keep all 10 fingers intact, trying to make the socks come out even and matched, and trying not to be eaten alive by a certain Tiger Lily.  Not to mention trying to maintain sanity in this crazy world. So no, I will not be standing atop an airplane while it is flying, nor jumping out of one.  But thumbs up to Trish Wagstaff!

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Strange Robbers …

Now, I know the rule for the Jolly Monday and Saturday Surprise posts is “no politics” and I adhere to that.  What follows is not a political statement, I promise … I just thought it was too funny to pass by …

In the northern Italy town of Turin, two brothers robbed dozens of bank cash machines while wearing masks (the robbers, not the machines).  And what kind of masks were they wearing?  Take a gander …

Trump masks‘Nuff said.


What A Mess …

It is autumn, and that means festivals.  We used to go to a small Applefest in the town next to ours, where they had homemade crafts, jams, jellies, and of course every homebaked apple treat imagineable.  It used to be a lot of fun, but in recent years it has grown so big, while the town has remained so small, that you take your life into your hands just finding a place to park.  And there are too many people … the whole atmosphere just isn’t the same, so we stopped going.

But in the Maine town of Damariscotta, there is an annual Pumpkinfest and Regatta that is quite different than your average fall festival.  There is a pumpkin derby, a pumpkin catapult, an official Giant Pumpkin Parade, and pumpkin art!  But one of the main events is the pumpkin drop, where giant pumpkins are lifted high by a crane, then released and dropped onto cars!  No, silly, not cars in the parking lot, but a couple of old junkers, as best I can tell.  Watch …

I’m not sure I would want to be part of the clean-up crew!  And here is a sample of some of the pumpkin art …


What Kind of Coffee???

I am a coffee-holic … I start with coffee when I first stumble downstairs in the morning, and drink it all the way up until I go to bed, usually somewhere between 3:00 – 5:00 a.m.  Though at home I usually stick to plain Caribou blend, I will try new things, and any time Starbucks comes out with a new flavour, I give it at least one shot.  My favourite thus far is Salted Caramel Mocha, which is only available during the fall months.  Canadian coffee house Tim Horton’s came out with a new flavour this month, and while I am not sure if I would like it, I would give it a try, and might, as there is a Tim Horton’s just north of where I live.  It is … wait for it … rein in those taste buds … Buffalo-Spice Latte.  Yep, you guessed it. It is fashioned after Buffalo Chicken Wings …

Tim Hortons

A pair of Tim Horton’s locations in Buffalo, New York, have introduced a new drink combining Buffalo-flavor seasoning and seasonal lattes.  According to Stephen Goldstein, regional president of Tim Hortons U.S., “We decided to surprise our loyal guests by pairing our new handcrafted Latte with the bold Buffalo flavor that’s so iconic to the region. The unlikely pairing comes together to create an unexpectedly delicious sweet and spicy treat.”

As I said, I would at least try it, but I am unclear as to whether it is only available in the Buffalo stores, or nationwide.  Might be a good time to go visit Uncle Leon!


Knock Knock …

I love knock-knock jokes, don’t you?  Short, sweet, to the point, and funny.  I do not tell jokes well.  In fact, I have been dubbed “the worst joke teller in the world”.  More than once.  By at least 4 different people.  My timing is poor, and my memory poorer.  But, since I am typing, not telling, and you are reading, not listening, this small assortment should work out fine.  I start with one of my old favourites …

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the tub, I’m dwowning!

scroll swirl

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Luke.

Luke who?

Luke through the keyhole to see!

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Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Isabelle.

Isabelle who?

Isabelle working, or should I keep knocking?

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Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Somebody who can’t reach the doorbell!

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Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Figs.

Figs who?

Figs your doorbell, it’s not working!

Okay, okay … I’m done with the knock-knock jokes now.  Take pity on my poor girls …. I made them listen to every one of them and if they didn’t laugh, I repeated them.

Well, my dear friends … and make no mistake … you are my dear friends and I cherish you all.  Alas, it is time for us all to get busy and make ourselves useful in one way or another.  You already know what I will be doing.  Sigh.  Have a wonderful week, a good day today, and please … share those smiles!  Other people may not have gotten their fill of knock-knock jokes this morning and might be in need of a friendly smile.  Keep safe and have a great week!  Love & hugs!!!

toon-1'Always plant trees so that the prevailing wind blows the autumn leaves next door'toon-3toon-4toon-Maxine

♫ Rainy Days and Jolly Mondays ♫

♫ Talkin’ to myself and feelin’ old ,,, ♪ Sometimes I’d like to quit ♫ Nothin’ ever seems to fit ♪ Hangin’ around ♫ Nothin’ to do but frown ♪ Rainy days and Mond … ays … always …

OH!!! ,,, Hi!  heh heh … 😳 You’re early!  ⏲️  Oh … no, you’re right on time!  I must be running late!  I blame it on Keith, for he planted this song in my head, see, and ….

Okay, let’s start over here.  Welcome, once again, my dear friends to Jolly Monday!  I hope you all had a wonderful autumn weekend.  Perhaps not so much if you live in Mississippi, but at least Nate was much weaker than the previous three, and my friend Benjamin, who lives on the gulf coast of Mississippi sent me a video and said they were safe and it moved through rather quickly.  So, much to be happy about.  I got up early this morning … actually, stayed up late last night … and baked a few treats, so pull up a chair and let us see if we can find a few things to laugh about this morning, shall we?


I’m not a fan of bright coloured cars.  I suppose I once was, but they stand out like sore thumbs, and are basically cop-magnets, so I prefer black, dark green, grey or dark blue.  Remember what happened earlier this summer when I rented a red car for my trip to Pennsylvania?  I swear it was the red car that jinxed me!  In Germany, one Markus Zahn learned a very expensive lesson about having an orange car!  His $265,000 sports car, a bright orange McLaren 650S Spider, was mistaken by a hungry donkey, for a carrot!  I kid you not!  Vistus the donkey caused about $6,800 in damage by biting the back of the car.

Hungry-donkey-mistakes-orange-McLaren-for-giant-carrotZahn took it pretty well, all things considered ..

“I looked into the rear-view mirror and suddenly saw a pair of fluffy ears. And then I heard a strange sound. The sound came from a donkey, who was gnawing at my fender. The donkey probably thought the car was a carrot on wheels. I’m not mad at him.”


pumpkinsLast week in Baltimore, Maryland, Cristo Rey Jesuit High School was evacuated.  No, not a bomb threat, not a fire nor a broken water main.  The culprit this time?  A pumpkin-spice air freshener.  Yes, seriously.  During the afternoon, students began noticing an odd odor coming from the third floor.  Taking no chances, school officials evacuated the school and called the fire department’s Hazmat (Hazardous Materials) team.  After extensive testing, the fire department identified the source of the offending smell as a pumpkin spice air freshener.

pumpkin spice

Okay, I get that they were a bit overly cautious, but better safe than sorry.  But five people, 2 students and 3 adults, were actually taken to the hospital as a precaution. Now isn’t that overkill?


Sometimes when I clean my pantry out, I find a can or two of soup that has surpassed its “best used by” date.  If it is only a month or two, no worries, we will eat it.  If, however, it is six months or beyond, I may pitch it.  But … well … a foodbank, Cardiff Food Bank in Wales, received an expired can of soup …

old-soupAs one twitterer said, this soup belongs in a museum, not a foodbank!  This particular can of soup was 46 years beyond its expiry date, and that variety was discontinued 35 years ago!  In the same donation were other expired cans, including one of Green Giant corn from the 1980s.  The foodbank’s fundraising manager, Helen Bull, said that the cans were donated as part of the harvest festival and the foodbank was unsure who dropped them off.

If this was a prank, then obviously it isn’t funny.  But I have another theory.  I wonder if some elderly person died, and as their family was emptying their house, they came across these food items and just, unthinkingly, tossed them into the basket for charity.  You know what packrats we elderly can be … ahem.


fortune-cookieDo you usually read your fortune cookie at a Chinese restaurant?  Mine always say the same thing: “Thank you for visiting P.F. Chang’s” Anyway, if you just give it a cursory glance and then toss it aside, as most people do, you might want to think twice next time.

92-year-old Charles “Chuck” Svatos received a fortune cookie as part of his meal at a casino in early September.  The fortune read:  “You will discover an unexpected treasure.” Pretty standard fortune-cookie fortune, right?  But Chuck put the fortune in his wallet anyway.  Imagine his surprise on September 25th when he discovered he had won $390,000 in the Lucky for Life drawing!

lottery-winSvatos was offered a cash payout of $390,000 or $25,000 a year for life.  At age 92, I believe he was wise to take the $390,000, which is what he did.  He says he plans to use the money to travel!  I hope you enjoy the heck out of it, Mr. Svatos!


And speaking of lottery winners …

Hermenegildo Beltran-Meza liked his lottery tickets, but his wife had given him a lecture about wasting money buying lottery tickets.  We can imagine him sitting there, nodding his head and saying, “yes, dear”, while in his mind wondering how he can continue to buy the tickets without wifey finding out.  Well, he found a way to buy two California Black Premium Scratchers for $10 each.  When he got home, he was so afraid of his wife finding out that he went into the bathroom to scratch the tickets!

lotto-ticket

Well, the first ticket was a bust, but Mr. Beltran-Meza could hardly believe his eyes when he scratched off the second!  ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!

winning

Now my thought was that wifey wasn’t going to see a thin dime of it.  But, Mr. Beltran-Meza is a nice man, a kind and forgiving man, and all he said to her when he showed her the winning ticket was, “You said I’m never going to win and there I won, there’s proof.”  I suspect he gloated for just a moment.  The couple says they will use most of the money to save toward retirement.  Wise choice.


In the market to buy a museum?  There are some really odd ones out there, but there is one for sale to the highest bidder in San Antonio, Texas.  Barney Smith, 96, is offering his Toilet Seat Art Museum, containing more than 1,300 hand-decorated toilet seats, to the highest bidder. All 1,321 toilet seats have been handcrafted by Barney himself.

toilet-seat-artSo how did Barney get his start designing toilet seats?  Well, he was working in the family’s plumbing business way back in the day, when he stopped for some supplies at the local plumbing supply house.  He noticed about 50 toilet seats out back that were going to be hauled off.  “And I said [to the guy] ‘what are you going to do with those toilet seats. I would like to have some of these toilet seats to do some art on.’”

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Toilet seat commemorating the Challenger disaster

Barney seems a fun sort, and you really ought to take a minute to check out this article about him.

toilet-seat-trolls

Trolls on a toilet seat

Some of these toilet seats are … ahem … well, rather oddish.  However, I applaud Mr. Smith’s creativity and his perseverance, and I hope he is able to sell his museum for lots of money and enjoy a long, happy retirement!

toilet-seats


And now, dear friends, I must go attend to my never-ending laundry, figure out what to make for dinner tonight, do a bit of cleaning, then settle in to see what’s up in the world today.  I’ve enjoyed our time together and hope you have too!  I hope I’ve given you something to smile about, and that you will go share that smile today.  We’ve all been through some rough times, and everybody can use a smile.  Remember, too, that a smile gets bigger every time you share it!  Keep safe and have a great week ahead!  Love and hugs from Filosofa!


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M Is For Monday … Jolly Monday!!!

Once again it is that jolly day of the week, the day we start the week with a spot of coffee, a sweet treat and a chuckle or two.  How was your weekend?  We spent some family time together, which was nice, and Chris is just now finishing up the orange lights around the windows, so our house is looking festive and has a warm glow.  And now, let us see if we can start this week off right …


How To Launch An Airplane …

airplane-2I’m sorry, but I just don’t think this is going to work.  No matter how many people join in pulling that aircraft, I don’t think they can get it in the air.  What?  They aren’t trying to get it in the air?  Ohhhhhh …

This is part of an annual fund-raiser held in Newark, New Jersey, to benefit the Special Olympics.  50 teams of 20 people each took turns trying to haul the Boeing 737 a distance of 10 feet. Awards were handed out to the team able to complete the task the fastest, and to the team with the lowest total weight able to achieve the feat. The weight of the plane?  93,000 pounds!

“It’s a lot of fun and people practice for this year round,” said Robert Belfiore, a retired police chief and current director of the New Jersey Law Enforcement Torch Run for Special Olympics. All for an excellent cause!

airplaneThe event was hosted by United Airlines and the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey. Proceeds were donated to the Special Olympics of New Jersey.


The case of the missing traffic cone …

Paul Baxter, a 50-year-old British postal worker, was convinced he had lung cancer.  He had suffered a nagging cough for a year or so, when a bout of pneumonia led to a chest x-ray, where doctors noted what appeared to be a tumour.  So, the docs scheduled Mr. Baxter for a bronchoscopy, a procedure that allows doctors to look at the bronchial tubes, and also remove small bits of lung tissue for biopsy.

toy-cone-2The ‘tumour’, however, turned out not to be a tumour, but a traffic cone!  No no no … not the kind you see alongside the highway, but the kind that comes in a Playmobil toy set.  The cone had been in Baxter’s bronchial tube since he was 7 years old, when he received the toy set for his birthday.  He said he vaguely remembered swallowing it … only he apparently aspirated it, rather than swallowing it.

toy-coneThe Biomedical Journal Case Reports explains that “This may be because aspiration occurred at such a young age that the patient’s airway was able to remodel and adapt to the presence of this foreign body.”  Mr. Baxter’s symptoms have now mostly subsided and he is relieved to know that he does not have lung cancer.


Do not feed the elephants …

The man, a tourist in Sri Lanka, was trying to be nice — he saw the elephant and wanted to share his food.  So he stopped the tuk tuk he was driving, got out, and gave the elephant a bite of his lunch.  To show his appreciation, the elephant … well, just watch …

Lessons to be learned from this:  1) elephants are greedy, 2) elephants are unappreciative and will always want more, 3) elephants are bigger than tuk tuks.

Now I want a tuk tuk … aren’t they just the cutest thing?  I wonder how much one costs? Hmmmm … can’t you just picture me bopping ‘round da hood in this?  Might make a nice Christmas present … Herb, Chris, Miss Goose?

tuk tuk

I would prefer blue …


More not-so-bright criminals …

23-year-old Ushio Sato decided to steal a car in Numazu City, Japan.  It was just after midnight when Sato approached an unlocked car.  Imagine his surprise when he very stealthily opened the door and began to enter the car, only to realize that there were two undercover police officers already occupying the car … an unmarked police car!

He tried to run, but the police were quicker.

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Tea for two, a wedding for one …

I talk to myself often.  Sometimes just because I am trying to work something out in my mind, and I need a second opinion, other times just because I am trying to talk some sense into myself.  So, a two-sided conversation with only one person I get.  But a wedding with only one person?

Two years ago, Laura Mesi, then a 38-year-old fitness instructor and vlogger from a small town near Milan, Italy, broke up with her significant other after 12 years.  At the time, she bemoaned that she had yet to find her ‘soul mate’ and said that if she had not found one by the time she was 40, she would just marry herself.

sologamyAnd that is what she did. And she did it up right … no Justice of the Peace for she and herself!  She had a full-blown wedding ceremony complete with white dress, three-layer wedding cake, bridesmaids and 70 guests. The wedding cost her around 10,000 €, or nearly $12,000 USD.  I can only picture some of the conversations:

“Honey, would you mind bringing me a cup of tea?”  “Get it yourself, I’m going to shower.”  Or how about this one … “Where have you been?  I was worried …”. “Well, if you don’t know, I’m sure not going to tell you.”

sologamy-2Now, it turns out that this is a current ‘trend’, marrying oneself, called sologamy.  I cannot find information regarding how many people have married themselves, but it appears to be more popular in Europe than the U.S.  I try not to be judgmental, but truly I find this just a bit strange.  What do you guys think? I don’t anticipate ever getting married again, but if I do, I really rather want somebody besides myself waiting at the altar.


Don’t look up …

It was rather reminiscent of H.G. Wells’ War of the Worlds, but on a smaller scale.

spiderTraffic Scotland shared an image of a spider dangling directly in front of one of its traffic cameras on the M8 motorway giving the appearance of a giant spider floating in the sky. They played it up with the following tweet:

*NEW* ⚠

LARGE spider 🕷 invading the #M8 at Livingston❗

Our advice…RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN 🏃 😆#edintravel @SETrunkRoads

6:02 AM – Sep 28, 2017

spider-2Twitter followers joined in on the fun comparing the “giant” spider to monsters from horror films and asking when the roads would be safe again. Before any serious damage was reported as the result of the “threat”, it was announced that the spider was “long gone.” All in good fun, but can you imagine if that happened in Washington D.C. at evening rush hour?


Oysters on the half … ????

When I was a kid, you could get soda, potato chips or cigarettes from a vending machine.  Not surprisingly, I usually opted for cigarettes, and compared to $6+ a pack today, a quarter, twenty-five cents, didn’t seem too bad.  Since that time, however, things have changed and we shouldn’t be surprised at anything we find in a vending machine.  Sandwiches, personal items, birth control … you name it.  But still, I was surprised by this one …

I love shrimp, scallops and crab, but never could quite bring myself to eat oysters, snails, or calamari.  But I’m not sure, even if I like oysters, that I would want them from a vending machine.


Well, friends, as you can see by the clock, it is time for us all to get busy and start this week off on the right foot … or left foot … whichever.  I hope you found something that brought a smile to your face, and please remember to share that smile, for it means so much and you all have such beautiful smiles … it would be a shame to keep them hidden!  Keep safe and I hope you have a great week!  Love ‘n Hugs!

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Jolly Good Monday!!!

foot-tapThere you are!  I’ve been waiting … patiently …

Good Monday morning, my dear friends!  I hope you all had a fun, peaceful first weekend of fall and are now primed and ready for the work week ahead!  In a tribute to the advent of autumn, I have prepared some treats suitable for the season, so grab some pumpkin-spice coffee and something to munch on and let’s see if we can find something to laugh about on this fine autumn morning!


Bunny Shaq?

Who doesn’t love a cute bunny?  They don’t really need talent, just their own cuteness.  But meet Bini, who has a hefty dose of talent to go along with his innate cuteness.  Bini is an athlete and just this year won the Guinness World Record for … “Most basketball slam dunks in one minute by a rabbit.”  Who knew there even was such a category?

Bini’s human housemate, Shai Asor, says that Bini is also a talented painter that can also style hair!  Um, I can only imagine …


Flush With Cash …

We have all used the expression, when referring to something that is seemingly a waste of money, “might as well just flush it down the toilet”.  Apparently somebody in Geneva, Switzerland took it to heart and has flushed more than $120,000 worth of 500 € notes down toilets all around the city.  According to Bloomberg, the first stash of 500-euro bills (each worth about $597) was found stuffed into a toilet located near a safe deposit box vault at a branch of Swiss bank UBS. The bills were reportedly cut up with scissors. Next was a pizzeria, then still more restaurants, all in the same general vicinity.

Police have collected tens of thousands of euros — many apparently cut with scissors — from the pipes and are working to determine where the mystery bills came from. Meanwhile, the notes are causing expensive plumbing repairs for those businesses targeted.


A Furry Hitchhiker …

Colorado Springs Police Officer Frabbiele was on his way to the scene of an accident when he encountered a hitchhiker … one that landed squarely on the hood of his cruiser!  According to the department’s Facebook post …

“Officer Frabbiele discovered that raccoons do come out at night and was pawsitively surprised when one ended up on his windshield.”

hitchhiker.jpgThe little guy was heading, I believe, for the nearest pizza parlour, but Officer Frabbiele takes his job seriously and put the little guy out.


An ‘Awwwwww’ Moment …

Eight-year-old Serenity wrote the following letter to Petco, the pet supply company:

“Dear Petco pets,

I’m Serenity. I’m 8 years old. I live in Washington DC. I’m going to 2nd grade. May I please have a hamester because I never had a pet. I [love] hamesters because they eat carrots, and grass. I will take good care of it because I’ll let it eat. I will make sure I clean the cage. If I reseive a hamster, I will do better in school, make more friends, and become responsible.”

Serenity sought and received her teacher’s help in looking up the address for Petco.  Only problem was, apparently the teacher’s eyesight was about as good as mine, and she addressed the letter to Pepco, Potomac Electric Power Company.  Now, you might think that when Pepco customer service representative Cornell Reddon received the letter, he just tossed it into ol’ File #13.  But nope … this is a guy with a heart!

Mr. Reddon and his co-worker Clay Anderson decided to make this little girl’s dream come true, and they bought her not only a hamster, but all the trimmings … a habitat and accessories.

hamsterhamster-2Filosofa gives two thumbs-up to Mr. Reddon and Mr. Anderson for their generosity and heart!


A Sandy Place …

I am not a world traveler … not much of a traveler at all … so perhaps I am unwise in the way of things.  But somehow … this whole thing, while rather interesting, seems to me a huge waste of time, effort and money.  What, you ask, is she prattling about?  Take a look … it is a hotel … er, a hostel, excuse me … made entirely out of sand.

“Hostelworld North America and Destination Gold Coast have transformed beautiful Broadbeach into a hostel made out of sand – featuring everything your dream hostel would include: an outdoor bar, beach volleyball, comfy beds, good vibes, DJs and live music,” the hostel’s Facebook page states.

Denis “Sandman” Masoud spent 21 days and used 24 tons of sand to craft the unique hostel featuring an eight-bed dorm and a private double room. It even received a write-up in Architectural Digest!

Sounds and looks pretty nice, eh?  So you are asking yourself why I call it a waste of time, effort and money, aren’t you?  Well here’s the catch … it was open from 20 September thru 22 September, and then it was no more.  All that work, all that time … for 3 days!  Perhaps it is the pragmatic accountant in me that cannot appreciate this effort, I don’t know.  But … I admit it is a unique concept.


A Bridge Too Far Not Far Enough …

Early this year, the city  of Esbjerg, Denmark ordered a bridge … a footbridge that was to cross the nearby Kongeåen canal. The thing is, though, that once the bridge was delivered and put into place, it was a meter too short.

“We ordered a bridge to go from one side to the other. It doesn’t do that,” said Hans Kjær, the municipality’s Director for Technology and the Environment.

bridge too shortSome people probably thought they were being helpful when they suggested …

  • “They have to find a place where it fits, the creek is probably narrower somewhere.”
  • “Maybe they should consider a new tape measure.”

Sometimes something gets lost in the translation …


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And, I am sad  😢 to say, that wraps up our Monday morning together.  I do hope you leave here with a smile on your face … one that you can share with all those people suffering the Monday morning blues or blahs.  Have a safe week and keep on smiling …

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Happy Jolly Monday — 18 Months!!!

Good morning, dear friends, and welcome to Monday!  Since I started this feature 18 months ago, a number of readers have told me that they now look forward to Monday mornings!  You guys will never realize how wonderfully happy that makes me!  To be able to bring a smile to somebody’s face, to make someone laugh … is such a blessing, such an honour, and one that I do not take lightly.  I think that without the wonderful friends I have made through this blog, the interaction we share, I might have given up writing this at some point, but you all make it so much fun that I feel like I am among family when I’m with you!  So, before I cry, let us grab a cup of java, a munchie, and find some fun things to laugh about!


The other day I was chatting with my dear friend David from ‘cross the pond, and he told me that there is a town on the Welsh-English border, the town of Chester, where it is actually legal to shoot a Welshman with a bow and arrow if said Welshman is foolish enough to still be in town after dusk.  Thinking that David was pulling my leg, I had to look this up for myself, and LO AND BEHOLD … it is the truth, though accounts vary as to whether the criteria is after dusk or after midnight.  And this, of course, led my mind down the path of other laws that seem rather strange today, but must have served some purpose at one time or another.

In addition to it being legal to shoot a Welshman with bow and arrows in Chester, England, it is legal to shoot a Scotsman with bow and arrow except on Sundays anywhere in the UK, I think. It is illegal in the UK to ‘handle a salmon in suspicious circumstances’, though I cannot imagine what those circumstances might be.  And the one that miffs me just a bit:  All land must be left to the eldest son.  HEY NOW!!!  It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour and also against the law to die there.  (Ma’am, please step outside to have that heart attack)

And in other places ‘round the world …

In Madrid, Spain, between the times of 3:29 PM and 6:47 PM, people cannot ask one another what time it is. The irony of somebody asking what time it is to avoid not breaking a rule of asking what time it is … ironic.

In Sweden, it is illegal for a woman to marry a tree, against the law for a parent to shame their child, but it is legal to sue yourself.  Sue yourself???  Can anybody think of a situation where that would make any sense?

France has one that says it is illegal to drink any alcohol at work, except wine, beer, cider, pear cider and a fermented honey drink called hydromel.  Also in France, it is against the law to name a pig, “Napoleon” or to marry a dead person.

The Swiss guard their Sundays, it would seem, for it is against the law to hang clothes to dry, mow the lawn or wash the car on Sundays.  But here’s the one that really got me … it is against the law to flush your toilet after 10:00 p.m.

Most Canadian laws actually make sense, but a few were rather humorous.  It is illegal to kill a sick person by frightening them (I guess you can kill them in other manners?), and also to show public affection on Sunday.

And some of the absolute strangest laws, not surprisingly, are found in the United States (surprised, aren’t you?) There are so many I could write a short book, but here are a few that caught my eye:

  • In Pennsylvania, any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue. It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors, and you also may not catch fish with your hands.
  • In North Carolina, it is against the law to sing off-key, to plow cotton fields with an elephant, and it is a felony to steal more than $1,000 of grease!
  • If you stop for a beer in North Dakota, you will not be getting any pretzels, for there is a law against serving beer & pretzels together, and … it is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
  • California bans women from driving in a housecoat, and bans animals from mating within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. It is also illegal for a dog to chase either a bear or a bobcat.
  • In Florida, it is against the law to sell your children. Unmarried women are forbidden from parachuting on Sunday, it is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit, and men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

I could go on and on, but I should save some for another day!  One thing of note is that almost every state I looked at has certain laws regulating who is allowed to engage in sex, under what conditions and in what manner they may do so.  Unenforceable laws, and I cannot help but wonder why these were ever considered a good idea?  Ah well … the mind boggles …

If any of you know of others, please do share them!

Disclaimer:  I did not do much verification, so it is entirely possible that some of these laws have been repealed by now.


Winter is coming along soon, and it is time to start thinking about sweaters.  I found a great deal (yuk, yuk, yuk) to help you keep those arms nice and warm this winter.

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That’s right, folks … it’s the exclusive Calvin Klein ‘sleeves only’ sweater, and what a steal at only $1,650!  Better hurry and order now, though, for they might be sold out by next week! In fact, I understand that it is already a sell-out on Canada-based online retailer Ssense.


dog-tux

See the picture … the cute doggie in the tuxedo, looking as if he wished he were almost anywhere else?  Well, that itty-bitty tuxedo cost his human her job.  Yep … Kristi Lyn Goss of Garland County, Arkansas,  somehow couldn’t resist buying that tux for the unnamed pup … only trouble was, she made the purchase on her government issued county credit card which was for work-related purchases.  Oh, and did I mention that she also purchased nearly $1,000 worth of Arkansas Razorbacks tickets, a diamond bracelet, clothing, school lunches for her children, and pet insurance in addition to the tux?

Needless to say, Kristi (age 44 and old enough to know better) is no longer employed with the Garland County Court, and is facing up to 10 years in prison.  And the pup would have been happier without the tux anyway!


Now that we’ve seen some funny laws, how about some funny signs?

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And now, dear friends, you have your work and I have mine, but we will meet back here soon enough.  I hope you found something to bring a smile to your gorgeous faces today and … please do remember to share those smiles with others you meet along the way today!  Love and hugs …

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Monday Again … Already??? Jolly!!!

Good Jolly Monday morning, all my dear friends!  I hope this day finds you safe, well and happy.  So tell me … how was your weekend?  Other than a grandson almost being shot, and a dear friend spending some time in jail (totally un-related incidents!), my weekend was fine.  Daughter Chris performed in a pipes and drums band competition in Indiana on Saturday, where her band took first place for best drum corps, best midsection, and best band for their grade!

Since last Monday was a holiday, last week was a short work week, so this week may seem a bit longer than usual to you.  So, sit back and let us share a cup of java, a bit of something sweet and a few things to smile about, okay?


Hide ‘N Seek …

Did you ever play ‘hide ‘n seek’ as a child?  Of course you did … every kid did.  I remember one time, around the age of 5-6, when a group of children (cousins, as it were) took me, the city kid, into the woods and told me to count to 100, then come find them, that they would be hiding behind trees.  Well, first of all, I didn’t know how to count to 100, and second, they went home, laughing uproariously, I’m sure.  Eventually, the ‘grown-ups’ dragged themselves away from their entertainment long enough to realize that some small bespectacled creature was missing and I was found, but I never much cared for hiding nor seeking after that.

In the northern Italy village of Consonno, last Friday marked the 8th annual Nascondino World Championships, a weekend-long romp that bills itself as “the only hide and seek international competition.” This year, 80 teams of five people each have signed up, and they come from 11 different countries, including the U.S., Japan, and Australia.

There are official rules for this competition:

“The hide and seek arena is split into five sections, and one member from each team must hide in each section. While the seekers (a ‘neutral’ team who have been “selected for their athleticism, visibility and sportsmanship”, according to organizers) count for one minute, players find a secluded spot among the obstacles set out, and then have to make it back to the ‘base’ before the seekers catch them.”The Local It

hide-seek.jpgTop prize for the winning team is called the Golden Fig Leaf.  At first I was scratching my head over this one, but then it began to make sense … a fig leaf, in mythological terms, hides a … um … certain part of the anatomy and there may be some who … err … seek to find what is ‘neath the fig leaf.  ‘Nuff said.

hide-seek-2.jpgSounds like great fun and a less terrifying experience than being left to die in the woods!


Butter Art …

I’d like you to think about butter for a minute.  What does your butter look like when you buy it?  Most people buy a pound of butter that has been precut into four, quarter-pound sticks, each individually wrapped in waxy paper.  I buy a one-pound block, uncut, as it saves me about $0.50 and I am cheap … err, frugal.  But back in the day …

Women farmers often took charge of making and selling butter while their husbands worked out in the fields, and some distinguished their wares by using pre-made molds to press patterns into them: flower, shapes, or their own brand names. One such farmer’s wife, Caroline Shawk Brooks, took ‘butter art’ to a whole new dimension, eventually becoming famous for her butter sculptures. She carved butter into animals, shells, and faces rather than simply using a mold.

butter-1.jpgFor the 1876 Centennial Exposition, in Philadelphia. Lucy Webb Hayes, the future first lady and a big fan of Brooks, commissioned her to carve a Dreaming Iolanthe for the Women’s Pavilion.

butter-2I am guessing one did not scrape off small amounts to put on one’s bagel or potato?  And I would be curious to know just how many pounds of butter went into this one. Anyway, butter-sculpting, for some reason that is beyond my comprehension, is still around today, mostly at such things as state fairs.  Take a look at a few …

Rather a waste of a food source, but then again … people don’t need to eat so much butter anyway!


A Fish for a Night …

Do you get lonely when you stay in hotels?  I don’t, because I am almost always with somebody, and even if I weren’t, I travel with a mini-library.  But a number of my friends are sales representatives who travel frequently and alone, so I imagine they sometimes long for a bit of companionship.

Well, a hotel in Belgium, Hotel Charleroi Airport, offers companionship to brighten those lonely nights.  No no no … it is not what you are thinking! It is … fish!  For only 3.50 euros ($4.17 USD) per night, guests can rent a fish to keep them company.

“We started a few years ago. The idea was to surprise our guests, as we always try to do,” said hotel manager David Dillen. “It’s brilliant to see how people react to it. They smile, they take pictures to put on social media. We rent a few fish per week.”

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Raised Eyebrows …

Yes, eyebrows … except, not really.  Some lady named Huda Kattan who, I am told, is famous for her beauty, decided she wanted McDonald’s arches for her eyebrows.

eyebrows-1.jpgI try very hard not to criticize the variety of ways in which people ‘decorate’ their bodies … to each his own, live and let live, etc.  My daughter, back in her college days, had multiple lip and nose piercings, and I learned to keep my mouth shut.  It did, however, send me in search of other … err … ‘different’ eyebrow shapes …

Well, enough of that … I shall leave mine alone, for I have better things to do with my time.


Pigeon shoes …

pigeon-shoesJapanese shoemaker Kyoto Ohata walks through areas where there are many pigeons, and being possessed of a kind heart, she always felt a bit badly when the pigeons scattered in fear as she walked down the sidewalk, presumably in stilettos.  So, she designed these ‘pigeon-friendly’ shoes to ‘disguise her human presence’.  Must be working … those pigeons don’t look to be scared. I applaud her compassion for the birds, but I must say that as a fashion statement … um, no.


How about a short joke to wrap things up?

A woman was being tried for the murder of her third husband.

The prosecutor asked, “What happened to your first husband?”

“He died of mushroom poisoning.” said the wife.

“How about your second husband?” asked the prosecutor.

“He died of mushroom poisoning, too,” said the woman.

“Well, then,” pressed the prosecutor, “what about your third husband?”

The wife replied, “He died of a brain concussion.”

“A concussion?” The prosecutor asked “why did that happen?”

The wife paused and then said, “because he wouldn’t eat the mushrooms!”

And on that note, I hope I’ve brought a smile or even a chuckle to your beautiful faces this morning.  It’s always better to start the new week with a smile than a frown, yes?  Now go out there and show the world what you are made of … and don’t forget to share that wonderful smile with a few others today.  Hugs and good thoughts to all our friends in the path of, or dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Irma.

toon-1'Thanks, but my homework is a little beyond your skill set, Mom.'

 

It’s a Jolly Labour Day Monday!!!

And just what does that mean, you ask?  Well ask no more!  It means that those of you who usually have to hurry off to work, get to stay home today.  It means that some people will be grilling outdoors, others will venture forth to the zoo, amusement park, or aquarium, or to spend the day with friends and families.  And it means that some will spend it absorbing beer and thus have a not-so-jolly Tuesday, but that is their problem.  I don’t do Jolly Tuesdays!  And sadly, for all my friends across the pond, it is just another Monday.  Sorry, guys … but you had yours in May, and anyway, you get all those banking holidays.  We grilled out yesterday on our ancient Weber kettle grill (charcoal, not gas) with the bottom half rusted out.

So, to all my friends here in the WordPress world, Have a Happy and Safe Labour Day, and if you don’t read this until tomorrow, then have a Jolly Tuesday after all!  Since dear Steve B. was miffed over the lack of a treat last Monday, I got up early this morning and baked just for him …


Bees, bees, bees … 🐝

bees-toonLet me start by saying that I like bees.  I understand, as best a non-science lay person can, the important role bees play in our survival on this planet.  I talk to the bees when I water my flowers each morning.  I like bees.  But these two stories are just … no no no no no no no … NO!

Emily Mueller is pregnant with her fourth child, and is a full-time beekeeper.  Something made Emily want to have a photo shoot marking this memory of her pregnancy with her love of bees, and here are the results …

Bees-1.jpgHer best friend Kendrah Damis captured the images and was amazed when she heard her photos had been viewed more than 2 million times on social media! They say she was covered in 20,000 bees, but I have no idea how they know that, as I am fairly certain nobody actually counted! Mueller reports that she was stung only three times during the shoot when she unknowingly sat on a bee and accidentally crushed bees on her lip and arm. “None of the bees intentionally stung me. It was my own fault. I didn’t realize there was one on my arm.”

And then there was this …

A Canadian beekeeper set a Guinness World Record by wearing a “beard” of live bees for more than an hour.

Juan Carlos Noguez Ortiz let thousands of bees rest on his face for 61 minutes Wednesday at Yonge-Dundas Square in Toronto, for the record-breaking performance to promote the release of the horror film Blood Honey.

bees-2.jpgOrtiz is an employee at Dickey Bee Honey Farm in Cookstown, which provided the bees for the skin crawling stunt. “We brought 100,000 bees with us, so there are more bees with us today than ever. But we brought the gentle ones so that is very important when we are doing bearding,” said master bee keeper, Peter Dickey.

Ortiz had only practiced the stunt twice before, but wanted to show that bees aren’t quite as terrifying as they might appear in the film he was promoting. “I wanted to show people that they don’t have to be scared of the bees,” he said.

bees-endAs I said … I like bees, but … no, I will not be doing a photo shoot of me covered in bees, so don’t wait for it.


Oh please wear your pants …

Pennsylvania seems to be the start of some really odd things … that is where my friend H resides, so need I say more?  But this one dropped my jaw.

Thousands to cycle nude for annual Philly Naked Bike Ride

Turns out that September 9th is the date of the annual Philly Naked Bike Ride.  Who knew?  Better question … WHY?  The stated mission is “to celebrate body positivity, cycling advocacy and fuel conscious consumption. The ride also aims to desexualize nudity.” Ummm … okay.  Personally, as a lover of animals, I find the human body to be among the, shall we say, less attractive species … I always thought it was a trade-off for that supposedly larger brain. I also always thought we would look better with fur.

nude-bike-3And as if all that weren’t bad enough, H, a master hiker of the Appalachian Trail, tells me that there is a “Nude Hiking Day”.  That happens, my research shows, on June 21st each year.  This year, Colorado officials warned that rangers would be on the look out and ready to issue tickets to any found in an au natural state.

nude-hikeAgain, as I said about the bee stories … NO … just NO!


And at this point I see that Jolly Monday is turning into Weird Monday.  Let me change directions here … ahem …


A criminal on the bridge …

How about this tweet from the California Highway Patrol (CHiP) …

deer-on-bridgeAnd the caption that made it all just perfect read …

“This morning our officers stopped a doe for toll evasion, on the Bay Bridge. She said she usually pays it, but today she was a buck short.”


A share of the castle …

Who hasn’t dreamed of owning a castle in Europe, right?  Well, if you have €50 lying around to spare, you can now own (part of) a castle!  It would be the castle of Saint-Vincent-le-Paluel, a 15th-century chateau in Dordogne, France, best known for being torched by the Nazis during World War II, and for one memorable film appearance, in the 1968 comedy Le Tatoué.

castle

“Adopte un Château,” a group dedicated to restoring the 30,000 abandoned and damaged castles in France, has started a crowdfunding campaign in which for €50, donors receive a share in the building, and help to dictate its future.

It isn’t a sure thing: the castle is going up for auction on September 21st. By that point, the fund raisers will have to have drummed up enough money to outbid any other potential buyers. According to the Local, 400 people have bought into the scheme so far, raising around €30,000. The starting bid is €250,000, so they have a bit of a ways to go.

castle-2Let’s see … that would be about 4,400 more shares, convert eur to usd … ONLY $260,920 USD … I will write a check tomorrow!  Um … where’s that checkbook now … ???


And speaking of France …

You’ve all heard of the infamous French Underground, right?  Well, underground in Paris refers to the 150 miles of secret tunnels that snake around the city: the ancient Mines of Paris network. Tourists can visit one piece of one portion of it—Les Catacombes de Paris, ossuaries that hold the broken up remains of some two million people – dead people, that is.

Last week, in the wee hours of August 29th, thieves struck in the tunnels under Paris!  What did they take?  No, not mummified, or rather ossified remains.  No, not rocks and no, before you guess it, they did not find gold hidden by the Nazis.  They were after … WINE!  More than more than 300 bottles of vintage wine, as it happens.  HUGH!!!  Where were you on the morning of August 29th???

catacombs

Catacombs

The thieves stole the wine from the cellar of a high-end apartment building close to the leafy Jardin du Luxembourg. Detectives believe they drilled in through the limestone wall of the catacombs.


Well, friends, that about wraps it up for another Monday.  I hope that whatever you do with your Labour Day holiday you have a great time and a safe time.  No, Joe, I will NOT be doing a ‘Jolly Tuesday” piece for your return to work tomorrow.  This is it.  Remember, while you are enjoying your day, to keep that smile on your face … you might be surprised how much difference it makes!

 

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Monday … Again … YAYYYYYYY!!!

Yawn … stretch … yawn … it is Monday morning and …

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NONONONONO … we must not do that!  It’s time to …

♫ Wake up, wake up you sleepy head

Get up, get up get out of bed  ♪

Cheer up, cheer up the sun is red

♫ Live, love, laugh and be happy

 from When the Red Red Robin Comes Bob Bob Bobbin’ Along by Al Jolson, rather poorly sung by the ancient Filosofa

So now that my singing has not only awakened you, but most likely sent you into paroxysms of either laughter or nausea, let us find some things to laugh, chuckle, or at least grin about on this fine almost-autumn Monday morn, shall we?


Sing it loud … just not in Denmark …

I love seeing street artists and musicians.  Even if they aren’t very good, it’s still fun to see people having a good time and doing their own thing without worrying about what other people will think.  But in Denmark, at least in the town of Aalborg, there are standards to be upheld.  Last week, a young guitarist set up shop outside a convenience store and began to play Wonderwall, a song initially sung by Liam Gallagher of British rock band Oasis.

street performer.jpgApparently he wasn’t pleasing to the ears of the local police who quickly sent him packing, “He certainly did not sound like Liam Gallagher,” police said. He was told by the officer to go home to practice, and given a final word of advice: “Just because you can play Wonderwall does not mean you should.” Awwwwww …. how mean!


A Final Touchdown …

56-year-old Jeffrey Riegel died last week.  Riegel had been a fan of the Philadelphia Eagles football team all his life and had been a season ticket holder for more than 30 years.  Still, he was disappointed that in his lifetime he had never seen them win a Super Bowl. Sometimes his wife, Donna, suggested that he follow a different team, but he always refused, saying, “I just can’t”.

Mr. Riegel did not lack a sense of humour, and in his obituary he requested “to have 8 Philadelphia Eagles as pall bearers so the Eagles can let him down one last time.”  He didn’t quite get his wish, but 8 friends decked out in Eagles’ jerseys did “let him down” one last time.

Eagles-pallbearers


Mary Poppins, anyone?

An ad on childcare.co.uk for a nanny received over 1,000 applicants within a few short days.  In fact, the parents who placed the ad followed up  with …

“Thank you to all the candidates that have responded to our advert so far. Due to the volume of applications received, we are unfortunately unable to respond to them all personally.”

mary-poppins.jpgI don’t think the reason for so many applicants is a sudden surge in the love of children and the desire to care for somebody else’s, but rather the incentives for doing so: The salary is £100,000, or roughly $126,000 USD.  And then there are the perks: meals prepared by a Michelin star chef, use of the family’s Porsche, Maserati and Range Rover and travel to Barbados, Cape Town, London and Atlanta.

bratMy first thought, being the snarky cynic that I am, was that the children must be mini-terrorists, and that thought was reinforced when I read …

“Ideally our nanny will be trained in self-defence, however if the right candidate doesn’t already have this training we will provide and pay for it. This is non-negotiable.”

The four children range from toddler to teen at ages 2, 5, 7 and 15. Requirements for the position include “a degree in child psychology, no children of their own and a minimum of 15 years of nannying experience”.  Well, guess that let’s me out!



An “honour” for Trudeau???

In March 2016, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was invited by the Toronto Zoo to announce the names of their latest panda cubs, Jia Panpan & Jia Yueyue.  Of course this resulted in an adorable photo-op …

trudeau-1I think perhaps it should have ended there, but no … this week at the Canadian National Exhibition, a statue based on the above photo was unveiled. That wouldn’t be so bad, but … the statue is carved in … butter!!!  The sculpture is the work of David Salazar and his team of artists.

trudeau-2.jpgNow, I understand that tastes in art vary … I am not a fan of Picasso, for example, but love Monet.  But somehow … this just holds no appeal for me at all. Mr. Trudeau seemed to like it well enough, though, for he tweeted “What is better than seeing yourself made of butter”.


A sandwich that packs a wallop …

It is said that people will go to extremes for a drink, and this woman was no exception.  Britain’s Southwell Racecourse does not allow alcohol.  Human nature being what it is, security guards routinely search bags and confiscate any alcohol they find.  I’m sure there have been some creative attempts to hide forbidden beverages, but this one may take the cake … er, um, the sandwich bun.

vodka-sandwichThe racecourse said the sandwich’s contraband contents were seized and the woman was told she could pick it up on her way out of the venue, but she declined to reclaim her vodka. A wee bit embarrassed, perhaps? But the story doesn’t end there …

One of the racetrack’s personnel posted a tweet with the above picture and the words, “You hide it, we find it!” The tweet was seen by the makers of Glen’s Vodka, which responded with the creation of a new drink: “The Glen’s Salami Sizzler.”

salami-sizzler.jpgUmmm … I think I shall pass on this one.


And speaking of sandwiches …

When you order a Big Mac at McDonald’s, it is generally served in this …

mcdonald-box-1

But to celebrate the company’s rollout of Signature Collection burgers, if you are lucky, you may find your burger in one of these boxes …

mcdonald-box-2

A thousand of the limited edition boxes will be available at special events in the coming months.  The box was designed by … wait for it … British fashion designer Julien Macdonald.  How appropriate!

“This is for people to look at and smile and make them happy and something to be a talking point,” he said. “I like funny things and things that make me laugh and if I saw a McDonalds box covered in jewels and embellished it would make me laugh – it is positive and lighthearted and everyone will like it.”

Well, it is different, but … somehow Filosofa says “no thanks” … but then, Filosofa does not eat McDonald’s anyway.


Okay friends, that about wraps it up for this morning … I do not wish to keep you from those important things you do on Mondays!  So, adjust that tie, straighten those shoulders, and remember to put on that wonderful smile you have!  A lot of people need to see that smile today, so be sure to share it. Keep safe and have a happy week, okay?  Love and hugs to you all …

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Monday Is For … LAUGHING!!!

Good Jolly Monday morning, friends!  No, I am not home yet, but I wrote this last Thursday evening because … I did not want to let my friends down … I know how much you look forward to Jolly Mondays!  It is briefer than some, but I tried to do pure funny, so sit back, enjoy your coffee … oh, and there are chocolate éclairs … I must explain.  Remember last Monday when I wrote about the dead robot in the fountain and he didn’t have a name, so I named him after my friend Steve B.?  Well, Steve took umbrage at having a dead robot named for him, and to soothe his ruffled feathers, I offered to make donuts for today.  But, realizing he had the rare upper-hand here, he said he would prefer chocolate eclairs, so chocolate éclairs it is!  Steve is a sweetheart, but a little on the sensitive side these days!  So, enjoy an éclair with your coffee and let’s start this week out with some much-needed humour, shall we?


solar eclipse.jpgAs you all probably know by now, today is the much-anticipated solar eclipse.  The last one seen in the continental U.S. was in 1979, so it isn’t exactly an everyday event.  I am a little nervous that I will be driving home today, for my vision is too poor for me to drive at night anymore, and I may have to pull over for an hour or so.  But anyway, to the point, a woman in Dallas, Texas, has asked that the eclipse be rescheduled:

eclipse tweet.jpg

I wonder just who she thought ‘scheduled’ it to begin with?!?!?  Her tweet was taken down shortly thereafter, but some of the comments will leave you in stitches:

eclipse tweet comments.jpg

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I saw this on Wednesday night when I was trying to catch up on reading blog posts, and I just absolutely loved it.  “Dear Kitten” was produced as a commercial for Friskies, demonstrating this cat’s strong preference for wet food over dry. The video beings with, “Dear Kitten, since I have hissed at you the customary 437 times, it is now my duty as the head of the household to begrudgingly welcome you.” Even if you don’t love kitties (WHO doesn’t love kitties???), you cannot watch this without smiling and laughing … I promise! The voice of the older cat, by the way, is none other than Morgan Freeman!  Morgan Freeman and cute kitties … why, it just doesn’t get much better!

Now wasn’t that adorable?


Derrick Lin works in advertising.  He claims it is chaotic and stressful, but folks … I have my doubts, because this man has far more time on his hands than I ever had during my accounting career.  But I must admit, the things he does to fill that spare time are so creative and cool, that I knew you would enjoy seeing a few of his creations.

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These are just a few of his thing-a-mabobs, so if you’re interested in seeing the rest, click here. 


Who among us have not sent a text or message from our phone, only to have spell check change a word or two?  Happens to me all the time.  Back in the early days of 2016, if I typed “Sarah Palin”, my phone would automatically change it to “Sarah Pain”.  I never corrected it, for I felt it provided the more accurate description.  Sometimes it’s annoying, but other times, especially if it happens to someone else, it is just downright funny.  Take a look at some of these …

text-1text-2text-3text-4‘Nuff said … It pays to double check those messages, folks!


Sometimes a business needs a gimmick to spice things up a bit, other times they just need cheap labour. The Kayabuki bar in Utsunomiya, Japan, found a solution to give a bit of a boost to their sagging business … monkeys!  Bar owner Kaoru Otsuka said his first pet monkey, Yacchan, was given to him by an acquaintance several years ago. When he brought Yacchan to work with him one day, the monkey grabbed a handful of napkins and began passing them out to customers!

Yacchan was given full-time employment, and before long, Otsuka added another, a macaque named Fuku-chan, seen in the video above. Fuku-chan began emulating Yacchan at an early age, and has become the best darned barmaid in the Far East!


My friends, I am sorry this is a bit shorter than my usual Jolly Monday fare, but I am writing it on Thursday night, as I prepare for my journey of a thousand miles (well, 489 miles each way … almost 1,000, and if, as is my habit, I get lost at least once, well …), I have yet to fold another load of laundry, put away clean dishes, clean one last bathroom, pack, take a shower, and answer comments and email.  So, apologies for the brevity, but I hope you had a smile, a chuckle or perhaps even a laugh.  Please, do remember to share your smile … you guys have the most beautiful smiles on earth, and they deserve to be shared.  Love and hugs, and Filosofa will be back in the saddle tomorrow!

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We Wish You A Jolly Monday …

yawn-3.jpgYAWN … sorry ‘bout that, folks … must have been all that wild partying over the weekend!  (Note that I may define ‘wild partying’ differently than most!)

Glad to see you all survived the weekend and are ready to tackle another week, starting with this bright, cheery Jolly Monday morning!  I think this Monday it may be even more important that we find some things to laugh about to start off the work-week on the right foot, so I tried extra hard to set the dial on my mind to “funny”.  So, grab a cuppa coffee, tea, or whatever you can find, and let us have a laugh, a chuckle, or at least a smile!


A great deal …

The single biggest monthly expense for most of us is housing – whether you own or rent.  Rental housing is particularly volatile in some areas.  For example, in the city of Amsterdam, there is a housing shortage which has driven rental prices sky high.  But consider this one …

Amsterday-apt.jpgThis one is a 35 sq metre (377 sq. ft.) apartment, boasting its own “private kitchen”, for a mere €1,100 ($1,300 USD) per month!  To put it into perspective, I have three times as much space and pay only $1,040 per month.  But that is not even the kicker here.  For there are just a couple of caveats:  cooking is strictly prohibited and no more than two people are allowed into the flat at any one time!  Now, I ask you … would you pay $1,300 per month for a home that is so tiny you have to step outside to turn around, and then not even be able to cook a meal?  And … what if you wish to invite your good friends Tom & Gina over for … well, you can’t invite them for a meal, but perhaps for drinks?  Nope.  Either Tom or Gina, but if they both come, then you must step outside, where at least you can turn around!  Perhaps you could talk to them through an open window?


An ancient jewel thief …

Doris Payne is 86 years old. Last month, poor Doris was arrested at a Wal-Mart in Chamblee, Georgia, for shoplifting.  Awwww …. poor Doris probably needed a bit of food, right? Well, perhaps so, but … when Doris was arrested, it was found that she was wearing an ankle monitor from a previous arrest for shoplifting. In fact, ‘poor’ Doris is known as a ‘serial shoplifter’, with crimes dating back to the 1950s when she was only in her 20s!

Doris-Payne.jpgPayne has served multiple jail terms for her crimes. She is thought to have stolen $2m in jewellery and was even profiled in a 2013 documentary titled The Life and Crimes of Doris Payne   .  She even has her own Wikipedia page. She is most noted as an international jewel thief and she had a winning tactic.  She would enter a jewelry store, posing as a well-to-do woman, typically looking for a diamond ring. Using her charm, she would engage the clerk, asking to see an assortment of items. Eventually, she would “cause the clerk to forget” just how many items were outside the case; and, at some point, she would leave with one or two pieces.

Her biggest heist ever is believed to have been stealing a 10-carat diamond ring, valued at $500,000, from Monte Carlo in the 1970s. But this latest was quite a comedown, as she stole only $86 worth of food and medical supplies.  Police say that in her sixty years as a jewel thief she has likely gotten away with more than she has been convicted of, so one might expect she would have sufficient funds for food, but perhaps she spent her ill-gotten gains on lawyers and bail!

Somehow, though, despite it all, I look at her picture and I cannot help feeling a little bit sorry for ol’ Doris.


Or was he pushed …

He was just doing his job – patrolling the streets of Washington, D.C., doing his part to ensure the public safety in a city that sees millions of tourists every year.  And then … he was no more … a step-accident left him drowned in a fountain.

robot.jpgThe article on the BBC’s website did not tell his name, so I am calling him “Steve” for the purpose of this article (after my friend Steve B.) because nobody should die alone, in a fountain, with no name.  Oh, did I happen to mention that Steve is a … robot?  You may have surmised that from the photo.  He is … was … one of several patrolling robots produced by Knightscope, a company that produces fully autonomous robots, used to monitor crimes in schools, businesses, and neighborhoods.

Steve’s cohorts have had accidents also, though not quite as deadly.  Last year, a 16-month-old toddler was run over by one of the autonomous devices in a Silicon Valley shopping center, and earlier this year, a Californian man was arrested after attacking a Knightscope robot. The man, who was drunk at the time of the incident, later said he wanted to “test” the machine. (The child, by the way, was running toward the robot and received only minor injuries, though she may grow up with a mistrust of robots!)

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Steve’s brothers and sister — awaiting the final word from the doc

I have to wonder, though … surely Steve had built-in safeguards to keep him from tumbling down the steps and into the fountain … it makes one wonder if, perhaps, foul play was involved?  R.I.P. Steve … you will be missed.


How many???

Any of my readers wear contact lenses?  I wanted to when I was in my 20s, but was told my eyes were “not round” and that they would not work well.  It’s probably just as well, as I tend to be careless and forgetful, so it likely would not have worked out well.  In fact, perhaps I would have ended up like the woman who went to Solihull Hospital in the UK for cataract surgery.  The opthamologist had previously noted a ‘bluish mass’ which turned out to be some 27 contact lenses fused together.  I will spare you the gory details, but once they were removed, the woman said her eyes felt much more comfortable.

eye.jpgNow, this leaves some things unanswered for me, like how the sam heck does one forget to take out the old before putting in the new … 27 times!!!  And … think about it … if I get a teesy-weensy speck of dust or makeup in my eye, it drives me crazy!  Wouldn’t one think that having 27 contact lenses in one eye would be well beyond “uncomfortable”?  I think perhaps this woman’s problems go deeper than her eyes …


A Smurf Village no more …

blue-village.jpgJúzcar, Spain, a bright blue cluster of buildings high in the Andalusian mountains. Delightful, yes?  Not only are the houses all Smurf-blue, but there are mushroom-capped public kiosks, and Smurf-impersonators meander through the streets.  You can even have a Smurf-themed wedding!  But sadly, every Smurf village must have its Gargamel, and Júzcar is no exception.

In 2011, as the movie The Smurfs was about to make its debut, Sony Pictures marketers approached the people of Júzcar and offered the village a deal.  The village could increase their tourism and put themselves on the map if they would allow Sony to paint all their houses, including churches and gravestones, Smurf-blue.  After a bit of thought, the villagers agreed, and after 4,200 liters of blue paint, the village looked like this …

But now, Gargamel … er, rather Pierre Culliford, the Smurf’s original creator, has ordered the village to remove all Smurf-related items and cease Smurfie activities, such as the weddings.  The village, which had 35% unemployment prior to 2011, had seen a surge of tourism … about 500%!  No word on what bee got into Mr. Culliford’s bonnet, as the village was already paying him 12% of their profits on Smurf-related revenue.  The village will remain blue, at least for the time being.

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And so, sadly, concludes our time … oh wait … I think I have something else … a short joke …

Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”

Man: “I had to get to work.”

Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”

Man: “I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus.”

Just one more …

The Judge asks the defendant, “When is your birthday Mr McKenzie?“

-“February 20th, Your Honor.”

-“And what year?”

“Every year, Your Honor.”

Okay … now we really need to get busy … just look at the time!  Please, dear friends, keep safe this week and remember to smile and share your smile.  We all need to remember to care for one another these days and a smile is the simplest, most basic way of saying “I care”.  Love and hugs from me to you all!

*Note to readers:  In light of Saturday’s horrific tragedy in Charlottesville, Virginia, I debated the appropriateness of doing my regular Jolly Monday post, but decided that we all needed a reason to step back and breathe for a minute.  I hope that humour at this time is not inappropriate or offensive.  In no way do I intend to diminish the seriousness of the event.  Please forgive me if I have offended anyone.

Monday-smiles

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This one is for Hugh and David!!!