Monday? Already? Jolly!!!

Good Monday Morning and welcome, once again, To Filosofa’s Jolly Monday!  In the interest of keeping you jolly, I will not mention that Christmas is exactly two weeks from today and that there is very little time left for you to finish your Chrsitmas shopping, bake cookies & other treats, make a cheeseball, wrap afore-mentioned presents, address & mail cards, decorate the tree, hang the mistletoe, and plan your Christmas dinner.  No, friends, it would just stress you, so I will not mention any of that!  I will, however, mention that I baked fresh treats for you this morning, so help yourselves!  And now, let’s find some fun things to start our work week out, shall we?

After Christmas, I swear I am cutting back on these snacks, for every week somebody requests something else.  The latest request was to add milk!  I love you guys, but I am not running a bloomin’ restaurant!


Do you make homemade pizza at home?  We do, for I do not care for frozen pizza, and it’s pricey to order a delivered pizza, though we do that sometimes also.  But we make pizza at home once or twice a month.  It isn’t hard, just a bit time-consuming with cutting onions, peppers, mushroons, chicken, pineapple (always use fresh!), but not hard at all.  Well, the astronauts on the International Space Station have a bit more difficulty, as you might imagine, but watch this short clip, for they have a system and it looks like they have a lot of fun with it, too!


One day not long ago, we were walking into one of our favourite restaurants when a group came out and advised us against going in, saying they waited twenty minutes and never so much as saw a server.  We reversed course and decided we had better things to do, so we went elsewhere, but we speculated about what might have happened.  I jokingly said that perhaps a serial killer came in and murdered all the staff in cold blood.  Well, we checked the news the next day and no such thing had happened, but now I think I might know what did happen.

Waffle House

Alex Bowen, of Columbia, South Carolina, had been drinking and was, in his own words, ‘pretty inebriated’ when he decided to visit his local Waffle House restaurant at 3:00 a..m. for a bite to eat.  He went in, waited about ten minutes, but nobody came to take his order.  So, he wandered back to the kitchen area and found the lone employee … asleep!  Well, Alex was hungry, had his heart set on a sandwich, so he set to work and made himself a Texas bacon cheesesteak melt and then even cleaned up after himself!  He went out to the dining area to eat, left the employee sleeping, and returned later in the day to pay for his food!  Not only considerate and enterprising, but honest too!

Alex-BowenA spokesperson for Waffle House said in a statement. “We are reviewing this incident and will take appropriate disciplinary action. In a related note, obviously Alex has some cooking skills, and we’d like to talk to him about a job since we may have something for him.”  Anybody care to guess what position might just open up?


How old were you when you stopped believing that Santa really brought all those presents?  I officially stopped believing when I was 8 and asked for an electric typewriter and a piano, so my parents sat me down and explained.  But unofficially, I quit believing long before, however it was to my advantage to let them carry on the myth, for I learned that if you asked your parents directly for a race car set (no, I did not do ‘dolls’ – I did cars and horses), you were likely to get socks and underwear.  But if you asked ‘Santa’ for a racecar set, you got a racecar set, for Santa wouldn’t dream of giving you socks and underwear.

One precocious six-year-old was told to write a letter to Santa for a school assignment, and here is the letter he wrote:

Dear Santa,

Santa I’m only doing this for the class. I know your notty list is empty. And your good list is emty. and your life is emty. You don’t know the troubles Ive had in my life. Good bye.

Love,

Im not telling you my name.

His mom couldn’t resist posting it on Twitter, with an explanation …

“My 6yo Santa skeptic was told to write a letter to Santa at school. So he did. PS – the ‘troubles’ in his life? His brother. Don’t call child services.”


I occasionally eat a Pop-Tart, though I mostly only like the ones with brown sugar and cinnamon, and rarely eat them at all.  But, I have never even once considered putting condiments upon the pastries.  I suppose if I were to put anything on them, it would be peanut butter, for I put that on everything, and even in my oatmeal.  But somebody in Illinois happens to like mustard on his Pop-Tarts.  I say, ‘so what?’ and don’t care at all, so long as he doesn’t put mustard on mine, but apparently Illinoisans were offended.

pop tarts.jpgIt all started when a Twitter user who goes by the handle @adumsteeves tweeted: “You guys aint from Illinois if you dont put mustard on your poptarts.”  The official Pop-Tarts account quoted the tweet with an appeal for help from the Illinois State Police: “@ILStatePolice can you guys handle this?” The State Police did not respond, for they were likely out catching speeders driving 1.27 miles per hour over the posted speed limit.  But the Dixon, Ill., Police Department offered its assistance with a tweet reading, “Let us know if they don’t handle this @PopTartsUS, WE will… Ain’t nobody puttin’ mustard on their Pop-Tarts in Illinois.”

Perhaps it was the threat of a visit from the police, but for whatever reason, the origina tweet was removed, and Pop-Tarts (aka Kellogg’s) claimed victory.  @adumsteeves, however, does not concede the issue, tweeting, “I didnt [sic] delete it and honestly dont know what happened… someone sabatoged my tweet.”  Who knew a bit of mustard could cause such a stir?  And who knew Illinoisans were such food purists?


smile-2Well, my lovely friends, I think we better all get moving, for there is much to be done today, and if we sit here around the cozy fire munching cookies all day, nothing will get done except we will all need naptime soon.  So, I thank you all for taking a bit of time from your busy Monday to drop by and I hope you enjoyed our time together.  Please do remember to share smiles and hugs today, for it costs us nothing and we never know but we might have brightened someone’s day with a simple smile.  And I give you all any hugs and much love!  Keep safe and warm, and have a wonderful week!


toon-Maxine-xmas

🎵 Holly Jolly Monday 🎵

Welcome and a Jolly Monday morning to you all!  I’ve looked forward to your arrival, and while I waited for you, I baked … COOKIES!!!  Come in, grab some coffee, pull up a chair!  So, how was your weekend?  Mine was fine … nothing too spectacular, except that on Saturday morning I did not get awake and out of bed until … well, until it was no longer Saturday morning!  So, I have been running behind schedule all weekend, did not get a second post out on Saturday, and did not keep my promise to Miss Goose to dig through the boxes of Christmas decorations.  I did buy some Christmas candy for the jars … whenever I come across the jars.  And, I got up early on Sunday morning, thinking to get my grocery shopping done before the crowds came, but that plan was foiled too, for when I arrived at just after 10:00 a.m., the parking lot was already packed!  I forgot … there was a six-hour power outage the night before that had Kroger shut down, so everybody and their brother (not to mention their little kids pushing their carts into other shoppers) were there first thing!  But alas, I kept my head down, got only what was on the list for the week, and was out within 45 minutes and for under $100, so … mission accompli!

What say we start the week out with some laughs, or at least head-shakers?  I’ve gathered an assortment today that I hope will get your week off to a good start.  Oh, by the way, do you realize that it is only exactly three weeks ‘til Christmas?  Why didn’t somebody tell me sooner? When did they move the date up?

Aaugh


O’ Christmas Tree …

Somebody in Sudbury, Massachusetts bought their Christmas tree last week, and transported it home, as most of us who do not own pick-up trucks do, on the top of their car.  A picture is worth a thousand words …

Xmas tree“Sudbury PD would like to remind you to transport your holiday trees responsibly.”  No word on whether the driver was stopped, ticketed, or warned.


There are better ways to treat depression …

The rickshaw driver went to the hospital in India complaining of stomach pain. According to Dr. Priyank Sharma …

“The patient was complaining of stomach pain, so we thought of getting an endoscopy done. We were shocked to discover that coins, nails and nut-bolts in his stomach. We come across such a case for the first in our career.”

Sharma

Dr. Priyank Sharma

The team of doctors, led by Dr. Priyank, found 263 coins and 100 nails in the patient’s stomach.  Apparently, he was suffering from depression and this had caused him to start the munching of the metal.  According to Dr. APS Geharwar, “Usually, people start eating abnormal things under certain psychological conditions. He had been eating metal for a year but did not tell anyone. Normally, there is no problem until these particles start obstructing the intestines. In this case, the problems had started.”

The metal has been removed from the patient’s stomach, and he is stable, though not considered to be out of the woods yet.  People, don’t try this one at home, okay?


Her heart was bigger than her wallet …

I like people who give when they can, whether to a humane society, children’s hospital, homeless shelter, or any of a number of other worthy charities.  Danni Messina, 19, a student at Washington State University, may have gotten just a wee bit carried away … easy enough to do around this time of year, when there’s so much good cheer.

Danni MessinaDanni wanted to help St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, a highly worthy cause.  But she didn’t quite think this one through.  She posted on Twitter that she would donate to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital — 50 cents for every retweet and 25 cents for every like.  There were an awful lot of people out there who were willing to contribute to the cause, especially since it wasn’t hitting their own wallet!

“I was originally planning on donating personally $1,000.”  But the tweet quickly amassed $210,000 worth of retweets and likes before she posted that she was cutting off the challenge!

Messina said the $210,000 total is a bit out of her budget, so she started a GoFundMe to help raise the money she promised to St. Jude’s.

“I am still in shock. I think it’s so incredible that people are donating because they saw my tweet. I love the awareness part of it, and it’s been awesome talking to St. Jude more.”

I imagine she learned a lesson that will stay with her throughout her lifetime!


What’s in a name?

Choosing a baby’s name isn’t rocket science, right?  Hmmmm … maybe not, but it can certainly be angst-inducing.  Donnie and I fought bitterly over the name for our first, and he finally gave in to me when we were told that I could not leave the hospital until I named the baby.  To this day, daughter Chris still has no middle name, for that would have led to murder for sure! The second wasn’t a huge problem, but the third led to yet more fighting.  So, it really is a big deal sometimes.

Justin and Jordan Garton of Fort Smith, Arkansas, love Olive Garden restaurants.  In 2015, they bought a “never ending pasta pass”, and committed to eating there every single day for 6-7 weeks to ensure they got their money’s worth. The love Olive Garden so much, in fact, that they have decided to name their baby, due this month, after the eatery, only with a bit of adaptation:  Olivia Garton.

Olivia-GartonAccording to a spokesperson for Olive Garden, “We couldn’t have been more thrilled upon hearing about the Garton’s growing family. We always love hearing the unique ways our guests have been able to connect with Olive Garden, and we can’t wait to meet baby Olivia.”

The Gartons said they hid one other Easter egg in baby Olivia’s name: Her middle name will be Michelle, making her initials “O.M.G.” “I guess we just have to be those hashtag millennial parents,” Jordan Garton said.

Um … okay … I guess …


Life in the fast lane …

You know those carpool lanes some cities have on their expressways?  The ones that are only for cars with more than one occupant, and you can be ticketed if you violate that rule? Well, a Texas driver thought she was being pretty smart in figuring a way around the rules.  Her ‘passenger’ …

dummy… was actually a mannequin, decked out in sunglasses, lipstick, a blond wig and a zip-up sweater while sitting in the passenger seat of the vehicle.

Ted Heap, Harris County Constable for Precinct 5, has been cracking down on violators of this rule of late, and in reviewing the video from November 30th, they spotted this fake right away.  Frankly, from the picture, I’m not sure I would have noticed, but then my eyes aren’t all that sharp!  Anyway, the woman who saved a bit of time and a $3.20 toll that day, will now miss a day’s work to go to court, and faces a possible $150 fine! Goes to show what my grandpa always said, “Crime doesn’t pay”.


Well, my dear friends, we need to get a move on, for you don’t want to start the week out being late to work!  And this week, as I have my new dryer, I am once again happily going to gather a load of towels to wash!  I would remind you that even though it is the ‘Holly Jolly’ season, the season of ho ho ho, mistletoe, and lots of brightly-coloured lights, many suffer a bit of depression, some loneliness, during this time.  Give people an extra smile, stop a moment and say, “Hi, how are you today?”, check on your elderly neighbors.  These things are more in the spirit of giving than buying a gift. Keep warm, keep safe, and have a happy week!  I love you all!

toon-Maxine

A C-C-C-OLD Jolly Monday …

Good Monday Morning, and welcome to Filosofa’s Jolly Monday!!!  I hope my U.S. friends had a good 4-day Thanksgiving weekend, and that the rest of you had a wonderful weekend as well!  I had a lovely weekend, but now I am tired and ready to return to my routine.  I actually ended up cooking not one, but two entire Turkey dinners complete with homemade stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, veggie casserole, etc., etc.  Long story, so I won’t bore you with it, but suffice it to say that I am tired and plan to do no cooking tonight.  In the words of the late Marie Antoinette, ‘Let Then Eat Turkey!’ … Or, was that cake?  Either way, she never actually said that anyway, but you get my point, yes?

In the spirit of the season, I have baked up a few seasonal treats to go with your morning beverage … feel free to take some home with you, for you know I cannot eat them.  Now, I have some great chuckle-worthy material for today, but I am starting with this first story (one should always start with the first, don’t you think?) because over the weekend, my clothes dryer went belly-up, cross-eyed and died.  I have a new one ordered, to the tune of $501 that will be delivered tomorrow.  But this first story makes me envious … you’ll see why.  So, sit back, relax, and let us start the week out right, with a smile, a chuckle, or perhaps even a laugh.


Before planned obsolescence …

Saunders.jpgSydney and Rachel Saunders from Exeter, UK, were married way back in 1955. The following year, they purchased a full set of appliances:  clothes washer, dryer, cooker/boiler (stove/oven/broiler combination) for £146 ($193 USD).

appliances“Things were made better in those days, they were more durable and stronger. You just don’t get appliances made like that today.”

Recently, the Saunders’ have decided to sell their appliances.  Might be that they are downsizing and moving into a retirement home, as they are both in their 80s now.  And their marriage is still going strong, as are the appliances.  Mr. Saunders says the washer leaks just a little, but otherwise they all function fine.  He is hoping they will go into a museum.  Sheesh, and my dryer barely lasted ten years!  Planned obsolescence, I tell ya!

washer-dryer.jpg


Cutest Critter …

Now I know a lot of people do not like bats.  Admittedly, it is a bit off-putting when one flies right at your head, and I even had one get his claw tangled, just for a moment, in my hair.  But if you look at them … really look at them … they are cute … heartwarmingly so.

This little gal was hit by a car but was mercifully rescued by the driver and rushed to get the urgent care she needed. She had no broken bones, and only a slight concussion, but her caregiver soon discovered that the little one just loves bananas … you have to watch this one ,,, it is guaranteed to make you smile.

Alicia eating banana

Melts your heart, doesn’t it?  They call her Miss Alicia, and soon she will be released back into her colony.


And it only costs how much???

I bet you thought that KFC (you know, fried chicken, Colonel Sanders) only sold chicken ‘n fixin’s, right?  Well, remember a few weeks ago when I wrote that they had a fried chicken scented bath bomb?  Today’s find is even bigger!  Much bigger!  Today, KFC is offering a break from the internet!  Yep, you heard right, folks.  You can get, in their online store, an “Internet Escape Pod” …

KFC escape podWhat, exactly is it, you ask?  It is an indoor tent that features the likeness of Colonel Sanders spreading his oversized arms and torso over the structure. Okay, but … why? Why?  It blocks wireless signals, so that you don’t have to be bothered with all those pesky tweets, texts, and email notifications and you can just enjoy your family time.  According to the description on the website …

“Find sanctuary for yourself and your loved ones under Colonel Sanders and his Internet Escape Pod. Yup, this dome is like a magic force field designed to disrupt the internet coming to and from your devices.”

Um … perhaps I am a bit obtuse, but … mightn’t it be simpler to simply turn off the devices for a time, such as cell phone, laptop, tablet, etc.?  And it would certainly be a whole lot cheaper to exercise a bit of self-restraint, for this Internet Escape Pod costs … wait for it, folks … $10,000!!!  Hugh … pick your jaw up off the floor.  David … stop shaking your head … you’ll rattle something loose.  Yep, that was what I said … ten thousand greenbacks, ten grand.  All to get away from something that you can simply … turn off!  More and more these days, I find myself saying that people have more money than sense … this is one of those times.

Be sure to take a peek inside their online store  , for they have a wide selection of clothing, jewelry and household items, including a meteor shaped like a chicken sandwich for only $20,000!


Why?  Just why?

I really thought that the U.S. had cornered the market on Idiots.  Well, no, that’s not exactly right, for the UK and some countries in the EU have their share, though ours are … bigger idiots.  But I thought such idiocy was confined mostly to the western nations.  But nope … there is at least one in India!

Manoj Kumar Maharana, 23, of Odisha, broke the world record for most straws stuffed in the mouth without using hands by cramming 459 straws into his mouth.  I beg the question:  WHY???  Just to have his name in the Guinness World Book of Records, I guess. The previous record holder, British man Simon Elmore, stuffed 400 straws into his mouth at an event in Germany.

 

Maharana, who was allowed to use elastic bands to keep the straws together but not his hands, has to have all of the straws in his mouth and keep them there for 10 seconds without falling to obtain the title. Maharana was allowed to use his hands to get the straws into his mouth, but not to hold them in place. But my question is … why not an even 460?  I mean, at this point, what’s one more lousy straw, and I hate odd numbers!


Nationwide is on your side???

Audrey and Edward Cramer, ages 66 and 69, filed a lawsuit naming Buffalo (Pennsylvania) Township police and the Nationwide Insurance Co. after a police raid at their home.  Turns out, their Nationwide insurance agent dropped by one day to discuss a damage claim from the previous month when a neighbor’s tree fell on their property. While there, he was taking pictures, and one of the things he photographed was their flowering hibiscus plants.

hibiscus-pot.jpg

Flowering hibiscus (left) and Marijuana (right)

Somewhere along the line, he decided that the hibiscus looked suspiciously like marijuana plants, so after leaving their home, he contacted the Township police department to report his find.  Now, you would think that trained officers of the law would use a little common sense … oh, never mind, I forget …

Buffalo Township police handcuffed them both and made them sit in the back of a police car for hours while police ransacked their house looking for marijuana.

“I was not treated as though I was a human being. I was just something they were going to push aside,” she told WPXI-TV. “I asked them again if I could put pants on and he told me no and I had to stand out on the porch.”

No marijuana was found, and the couple were not charged.  But then three weeks later, they received a notice from Nationwide claiming to have found marijuana growth on the property. The letter stated that if they failed to remove the marijuana plants, Nationwide would cancel their insurance policy.

The Cramer’s are suing for “monetary and compensatory damages”, according to their attorney.  Nobody … not the Nationwide agent, not the dozen or so police officers who raided their home, not even Nationwide executives, apparently possess an ounce of common sense, so personally I hope this couple have their day in court and come out winners!  Sheesh. And if, as their jingle goes, ‘Nationwide is on my side’, I’d hate to see who’s on the other side!


An eggshell … who knew?

Dana Liashenko has a unique artistry … I will let her tell her story …

I found my talent and my passion – it is carving the eggshell.

And when I found the eggshell carving, I felt it is mine. I have a very special feeling when I make my crafts, only holding eggshell give me positive and unusual energy, and carving it is real satisfaction.

 

Check out her Etsy shop for more. That has got to require a heck of a lot more patience than I have, not to mention a much steadier hand. I think these are so unique, don’t you ?


Well, folks, as Carol Burnett used to sing (you don’t want me to sing it, trust me, so I’ll just say it) I’m so glad we had this time together.  But, as Chad & Jeremy used to sing in their song A Summer Song, all good things must end … and so must Jolly Monday.  We must move on to our work … obviously, for once, mine will not include laundry this morning, but it will include taking down the remaining Hallowe’en decorations (yes, I know it’s been nigh on a month) and giving the furniture a good dusting, for Miss Goose is now ready to get out the Christmas decorations and dishes.  I hope you all have a wonderful week, and please friends … remember to share those smiles, for we can all use them these days. Keep safe and warm … I love you all!

toon-Maxine

A Jolly Pre-Thanksgiving Monday To YOU!

Welcome, dear friends … quick … come in out of the cold, for it is freezing out there!  (Okay, Gronda, Hortie, Don and the rest of you down in Florida … hold your laughter, please!) Did you all have a good weekend?  I did a dumb thing.  I have had to stop driving after dark, for a couple of weeks ago, I could not see the entrance to my street, drove the car up over a sidewalk and into a ditch, so that was the end of my night-driving.  Since I don’t have a car, I have to use daughter Chris’ car after she comes home from work or on weekends.  So, that left me to do the grocery shopping this weekend.  Do you have any idea how many people go to Kroger on the Sunday before Thanksgiving?  NEVER AGAIN!  Anyway, that experience is behind me, and I am now going into winter hibernation, for it was freezing today, and my old bones are still, some 12 hours later, feeling the chill.  So let us settle in with something warm to drink and have a few laughs to start the week out right, shall we?

 


For some reason, I always tend to associate bagpipes with funerals. A New Zealand man apparently intended to make it necessary to hold a funeral … his own … when he took a notion to drive his car while playing the pipes!

bagpipes“The driver didn’t have their hands on the wheel at the time, and he was clearly playing the instrument while driving the car. His fingers were going a million miles an hour,” Acting Sergeant Bryce Johnson said.  The man denied the charges, claimed he was only playing “air pipes”, and was let off without a fine.  Sergeant Johnson must have been in a good mood, else he had no evidence.


Most people put their children in the bathtub when they are dirty, but one enterprising mom in China may have thought it would be quicker to clean her 10-year-old son in the clothes washing machine.  Long story short, the boy became stuck and it took firefighters nearly half an hour, during which they had to take the washing machine apart, to rescue the boy!

 

Think twice before you toss your kid into the washer, okay?


And speaking of getting stuck in strange places, this one also took place in China.  This one is really hard to figure, and the story did not elucidate on how, exactly, she got her leg stuck.  Perhaps it is for the better …

 

What is it with the Chinese and plumbing fixtures?


When I was in junior high school, or what they now call ‘middle school’, there was no such thing as a “Family & Consumer Sciences” class, but times have changed and apparently now there is.  Administrators at Carter G. Woodson Middle School in Hopewell, Virginia, found themselves in a wee bit of hot water last week over a “Family Quiz” worksheet that a teacher downloaded from the internet for her 7th grade class.  It may be that the teacher should have looked more closely at the questions, or the disclaimer that read, “Please remember that this worksheet may not be appropriate to teach to younger students and can be adapted to your own needs.”

Family quizNeedless to say, parents were in a bit of a state, and one parent issued a statement:

“No one in the schools system needs to be teaching my daughter what a mistress is or a trophy wife or boy toy. It’s inappropriate for a school. Period. We send our kids there to learn math, reading, science and history not to learn this other stuff that goes on in the world that they eventually going to learn anyways.”

Hmmm … could be that this mother could benefit from a grammar class refresher? The school district apologized to parents.  No word on whether the teacher, unnamed in the articles I read, remains employed, but if I had to guess ….

job wanted


With Thanksgiving coming in just a few days, the gifting holidays aren’t far behind, so it’s time to be thinking about that special gift for that special someone, right? Well, never fear, for this year Filosofa has taken it upon herself to help you out, take some of the work out of scouring the stores and the internet in search of, so I will, from time to time apprise you of the ‘to die for’ gifts that I find.  And starting with this week …

Is there someone who does embroidery or other forms of crafts using yarn on your list?  This Sterling Silver Yarn Ball is sure to delight them!

Tiffany yarn

DESCRIPTION & DETAILS:

This limited-edition piece is one of five handcrafted by Tiffany artisans in New York in 2017. A ball of yarn is reimagined in handspun strands of textured sterling silver, rendering the ordinary extraordinary.

Sterling silver

Available exclusively at Tiffany.com, the New York flagship and select Tiffany stores

The price?  Oh piffle, you know your friend is worth whatever the price.  But really, at $9,000 it’s a steal, don’t you think?

Or how about this … a Sterling Silver Tin Can makes a great pencil holder …

Tiffany tin canDESCRIPTION & DETAILS:

Tiffany artisans transform utilitarian items into handcrafted works of art. Sterling silver and shining vermeil upgrade this classic tin can.

Sterling silver and vermeil with Tiffany Blue® enamel accent

4.5″ high

Instantly recognizable, the signature Tiffany Blue® hue of this design’s enamel accent has been as iconic as the brand itself since its founding in 1837

A true bargain at only $1,000!

And last one for today … a Sterling Silver Paper Plate for only $950!  Now who wouldn’t love this?

Tiffany paper plateDESCRIPTION & DETAILS:

Tiffany artisans transform utilitarian items into handcrafted works of art. Reimagined in sterling silver, this plate is infused with modern wit.

Sterling silver

9.7″ diameter

Available exclusively at Tiffany.com, the New York flagship and select Tiffany stores

All of these are part of Tiffany’s ‘Everyday Collection’ that I just know you’ll want to check out!  Oh, and by the way, engraving is also available, at an extra cost, I imagine.


In my Saturday Surprise feature, I told you about some rather oddish Thanksgiving-themed foods and beverages.  Today I have one that, while not turkey & dressing flavoured, nonetheless qualifies as oddish.  What would you think of Fried Chicken Beer?  I like fried chicken fine, and I like beer okay every once in a blue moon, but the combination … just thinking about it does odd things to my stomach.

Fried chicken beerVirginia’s The Veil Brewing Company teamed up with New York-based Evil Twin Brewing to create Fried Fried Chicken Chicken beer, an IPA-style beer made using trace amounts of fried chicken.

“The idea came to us after eating a significant amount of fried chicken at various establishments in our beautiful city of Richmond,” Veil Brewing said. “We actually put a very small amount of fried chicken in one of two of the mashes (less than .4% of the total weight of the mash contents).”

If any of you decide to give it a try, be sure to stop by and let me know how it tasted … better yet, bring me a sample!


And now, dear friends, I’m sad to say our time together must come to an end.  I shall miss you all, but I’ll see you during the week, and we will all meet back here next Monday and you can tell me all about your Thanksgiving!  I’ve decided to end with a song … one of my favourites, Mack The Knife sung by Bobby Darin.  (Keith … you may remember I mentioned payback?  😉 ).  Have a great week … for my U.S. readers, it will be a short work week.  Keep safe, keep warm, and be happy.  And remember, if I have made you smile even a little bit today, please share that smile as you go about your day.  They grow when you share them, y’know.  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa!

 

toon-maxine

toon-turkey

 

A Jolly Smiley Sort of Monday …

Welcome my friends to our weekly Jolly Monday!  How have you been and how was your weekend?  Did you do anything fun and exciting?  I had a nice weekend, though I cannot claim there was anything out of the ordinary about it, but that’s fine by me, for I am not much into adventuring these days. Since you all have a busy week ahead of you, let us try to begin it with a bit of humour, shall we?  Grab a cup of coffee and sit back … no, Joe, please leave your shoes on …


not me dressLadies … personally I am not into dresses much these days … in fact, I cannot remember the last time I wore one … probably Katie & Kyle’s wedding back in … was it 1997 or 1998?  Anyway, some do still wear dresses, and here is one you won’t believe …

dress

Created by luxury Italian fashion house Moschino, it is drawing attention for its unusual design — based on plastic wrap from a dry cleaner. Yes indeed, folks, now you can look just like you forgot to take your dress out of the wrapper from the cleaners!  Bet you cannot wait to pick up one of these gems, right? Well, you can find it on fashion website Browns  for a mere $895! 

And, since you are probably wondering if you have a pair of shoes that will complement it, here is what they recommend …

shoes

Neck-breakers

The “Off-White For Walking” pumps (never could figure out why high-heeled shoes were called pumps) for only another $850!  Remember, the holidays are coming and with these two additions to your wardrobe, you will be all set for those holiday parties!  And if any of my readers go buy this ensemble, please come back and let me know, for I have a bridge I’m thinking of selling in Brooklyn that you just might be interested in!


Sometimes I leave things behind.  Once I left my wallet atop my car and drove off.  I have heard of people leaving such things as their glasses, car keys, wallet, and even their child behind (though I think that last may have been intentional).  But in Portland, Maine, last week on election day, a voter left something rather unusual in the voting booth …

teethYep, somebody left behind their dentures and the Portland City Clerk’s office has been trying to find the owner, but to no avail.  Anyone who knows the identity of the now-toothless voter is being asked to call the City Clerk’s office so the chompers can be returned to their owner’s mouth.

I’m still trying to picture the circumstances under which a person takes their teeth out and sets them down in a voting booth!  Think germs, people!


I’m not a huge fan of pranksters putting substances in city fountains, for the fountain then has to be cleaned, at taxpayer expense, of course.  But I have to admit, this one was rather pretty …

fountain

Lincoln Center fountain, New York City

The fountain was shut down for cleaning, the police were called and are looking for the prankster, and on Twitter, one user said, “I just hope that’s Mountain Dew”.  No comment.


And speaking of the colour yellow … you know those golden arches?  Guess what one of McDonald’s biggest problems is?  No, not stale buns.  No, not dried up meat patties.  It is keeping the ice cream machines working.  Now, it’s been so long since I’ve been in a McDonalds that I was not even aware they had ice cream machines, but apparently they do, and apparently they break down often enough that it is a huge pain for their customers.  Well never fear, for there’s an app for that!!!

McDonalds appNo, no joke!  If you are heading to McDonalds, you can now use their handy dandy app to find out if their ice cream machine is in order, and if it isn’t, you can find the nearest McDonalds that does have a functioning ice cream machine!  Now isn’t that special.  Technology with purpose (sarcasm intended).


In Paris, Tennessee, on 31 October 2017, a baby was born … a baby who will be traumatized for the entirety of her life, only in part because her parents gave her the name “Oaklyn”, but mostly because the first face she saw on entering this world was this …

Joker-docBrittany Selph went into labour on Hallowe’en night, the doctor was all set to give out candy to the munchkins out for Trick or Treat, and was in full costume when he delivered tiny Oaklyn.  Can you imagine popping out to see that face?

The article said Dr. Paul Locus was dressed as The Joker from 2008 film The Dark Knight … I thought the Joker character was from Batman … did I miss something?


Okay, folks, we started with a dress that looks like a dry cleaners’ bag, and now let’s conclude with dresses made of …. Chocolate!

The Salon du Chocolat in Paris — a convention featuring hundreds of chocolatiers from around the world — kicked off October 27, 2017, with a fashion show. Models wore dresses made of chocolate.  Now, I have some questions, the first one being how do they keep the chocolate from melting on the model under the heat of the runway lights?

chocolate-2

A Pinecone Butt on a Chocolate Dress?  NO … Just … No.

And how does one go about cleaning the dresses? I don’t know for certain, as there wasn’t much information available, but I don’t believe these dresses are for sale, and just as well … who wants to go out and have people tearing off bits of your clothing to eat?


And with that, my dear friends, I’m sad to say but it is time for us all to begin yet another week and try to be productive.  I’ve enjoyed our time together and hope you have too. Remember, my U.S. friends, in just under two weeks you will have a four-day weekend for the Thanksgiving holiday.  A holiday, I might add, that has snuck up on me and I was blissfully thinking it was still way off in the distance until a few days ago when Maha said, “Juju … I pay for turkey this year.  I pay, you cook!”, and I looked at her as if she had two heads and said, “Turkey?  What turkey?”  Sigh … I am not ready to begin this mad rush toward the mayhem of the holiday season, but alas, nobody asked me.  Anyway, have a wonderful week and folks … remember to share those smiles, for a lot of people are a bit down right now and a smile can make all the difference in the world.  I put a basket of them at the door, so take a few on your way out.  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa!

Monday-basket-smiles

toon-Maxine

I have said the same quite often …

🍂 Jolly 🍂 November 🍂 Monday 🍂

Good Monday Morn, my dear friends, and welcome!

Did everybody (in the U.S.) remember to change your clocks back Saturday night?  I did not, and was confused and confounded all day long yesterday, but then that is not exactly abnormal … no, folks, don’t even think about a snarky remark here!  Autumn is here … I know this because one night I had to turn the air-conditioning off and the heat on … all at once.  But, the trees are all in full autumn colour, the leaves just beginning to fall en masse, and the stores already have their Christmas decorations out.  I hope you all had a great weekend and now what better way to start a new week than with a bit of humour, a few chuckles, and many smiles to carry us forth into the unknown.  So, grab a cup of coffee and a donut (or two) and sit back ready to turn the corners of your mouths up!

Welcome back, Steve … donuts especially for you!


Finger-lickin’ good  🍗 🍗 🍗 …

kfc-bath-bombsKFC … Kentucky Fried Chicken … good ol’ Colonel Sanders … has launched a new product, but you won’t want to eat it.  You might wish to bathe in it, however, for it is ‘drumstick bath bombs’, that will leave you smelling just like fried chicken!

Novelty retailer Village Vanguard has worked with KFC to manufacture the oddity. Apparently, it really does smell like KFC’s famous recipe, a homage to the delicacy. The company has launched the quirky bath bomb in Japan as a limited edition. Just 100 lucky winners will get to enjoy it. Still, it’s quite interesting. How on earth do you get a bath bomb to smell like fried chicken? People around the world are excited.

kfc-bath-bomb-2One Twitter user said: “Be thankful you exist at the same time as KFC bath bombs.” Another said: “Might quit my job and sell homemade KFC bath-bombs on Etsy”. Not everyone appears all that keen, however. One Twitter user said: “Somebody out there wants to smell like a bucket of chicken? Really?”  I have to agree with that last one.

Now, what I am trying to imagine is coming downstairs after a nice KFC-scented bath, and how I would be greeted by the Significant Seven!  I suspect I would look something like this …

cat fight


No kiwi fruit sold to minors …

It has been a long time since anybody asked me to show identification in a restaurant, bar or store.  A verrrrrry long time, in fact, since I was last ‘carded’.  But the only things I have ever needed to show ID for were alcohol or tobacco products, never kiwi!  That’s right … you heard me correctly ,,, kiwi … the little brownish on the outside, green on the inside fruit pictured below …

kiwiIn the UK’s ASDA supermarket in Manchester, one must show ID in order to prove they are at least 25 years of age before they are allowed to purchase this cute li’l fruit.  Why, you ask? According to The Independent …

“… the move was designed to protect singer Harry Styles at his gig at the city’s 02 arena.”

Apparently Mr. Styles was pelted with the fruit as he sang a song titled Kiwi at Hammersmith Apollo in London recently.  Then to add insult to injury, the fruit goop made for a slippery stage and Mr. Styles slipped and fell.

Harry-styles

Harry Styles

“We know our customers love Harry Styles and we feel it’s our duty to protect a fellow Mancunian from any ‘bad kiwis’ amongst us. We’d hate to see a repeat of the mishap this evening, so to avoid any slippery situations, we feel this is a necessary measure.”

It seemed to me a measure destined to fail, as there are surely other supermarkets if someone wants to get their hands on a kiwi badly enough, and I was right, as the same thing happened again last Thursday.  But now I have this picture of a young teen standing outside the supermarket, and as an adult enters …

“Psssst … mister … over here.  I’ll give you £1 if you’ll buy me some kiwi.”

street kid


It’s the great pumpkin  🎃  …

Hallowe’en may be over, but pumpkins are still in vogue, at least until after Thanksgiving.  In fact, I still have one sitting on my front stoop that I have plans for:  scoop the innards, clean and roast the seeds, and let the cat, predictably the one named Orange, eat a bit of the scooped goop, for he loves it.  So I decided that it isn’t too late for this story about competitive giant pumpkin-growing.

It didn’t set a world record, but the winner of the 44th World Championship Pumpkin Weigh-Off in Half Moon Bay, California, was the heaviest pumpkin in the history of the competition. A forklift hoisted the giant pumpkin onto a scale last week in downtown Half Moon Bay, near San Francisco. It registered 2,363 pounds, making it the seventh win for grower Joel Holland of Sumner, Washington.

pumpkin-1

Joel Holland’s 2,363 pound winning pumpkin

Holland took home $16,541, or $7 per pound, for his gigantic gourd. But the coveted title of world-record holder eluded him. That honor goes to Mathias Willemijns of Belgium, whose 2016 European champion weighed a whopping 2,624 pounds.

pumpkin-2Hmmmm … Miss Goose and I grew some pumpkins a few years ago (see below) … perhaps we should try our hand again!

tiny pumpkins


A galloping DUI …

In Polk County, Florida, the Sheriff’s department received numerous calls from motorists reporting a drunk driver.  Soon thereafter, deputies arrested 53-year-old Donna Byrne and charged her with driving under the influence (DUI).  Now you are saying to yourself, “so what?” Well, I bet you’re wondering what sort of vehicle Ms. Byrne was driving, aren’t you?  Awwww, c’mon guys … play along here … ask me the question.  AHA … I knew it … I knew Gronda would ask, if only to get me to hurry along here.  She was driving … a HORSE!  That’s right … she was riding her horse right down a busy highway.

horse in duiWhen police arrested her, her blood-alcohol was more than twice the legal limit in Florida; the horse’s, however, was normal. In addition to the DUI, she was also charged with animal neglect for endangering and failing to provide proper protection for the horse. Turns out Ms. Byrne is not a first-time offender, but has been arrested on five felony charges and 10 misdemeanor charges, including animal cruelty and drug possession.  Poor horse!

DUI Horse

Donna Byrne


On playing with food …

Who says it isn’t okay to play with your food?  This Vienna, Austria based orchestra plays solely with instruments made from vegetables!  I scoffed when I first saw the story, but once I listened to them … well, they are pretty darned good!  Take a look …


And now, friends, it is time for my nap … er … household chores! And time for you all to go earn a living or, if you’re retired like some of us, go write a book, listen to some good music, read or … nap. I’ve enjoyed our time together, as I always do on Monday mornings, and I hope you leave with a smile. Remember to share that smile, for we could all use one these days, yes? Keep safe and I wish you all a happy week! Love and hugs from Filosofa!
toon-Maxine

Jolly Hallowe’en Eve Monday!

Welcome, friends … take off your coats, hats, scarves and gloves and come over here by the fire.  A chilling start this Monday morning, don’t you think?  But never mind … we shall make it a Jolly Monday nonetheless by finding some humour, some things to laugh and smile about, yes?  How was your weekend?  Mine was far busier and more angst-producing than I like, so I am happy to return to the routine of a ‘normal’ week, whatever that is.  Grab a cup of coffee and a bite o’ breakfast … my friend Steve was none too happy about my offering of fruit last week and he let me know about it, so … sigh … back to the lovely, gooey carbs …


Julie Ann Upright is none too upright …

54-year-old Julie Ann Upright was diligently working Sunday, stealing cement pavers from a home in Port Richey, Florida. Cement pavers are very heavy, yet she managed to get 42 of them in her car before driving off.

upright

Upright?

The homeowner later told detectives that he caught her in the act while doing a remodeling project. The blocks were about 4 feet from the roadway, and being that close they were just irresistible to the Florida woman. Pasco County is still under a state of emergency under chapter 252 after Irma, so there’s still plenty more home improvement stuff to steal.

Deputies caught up with Julie and took her to the Land O’ Lakes Detention Center. She told the cops it was all a misunderstanding, and that she “thought the blocks were just trash.”

Julie Ann Upright started feeling more like Julie Ann Hunched Over after all that exertion… Following the modern trend of blaming who’s not to blame, she threatened to sue the homeowner because she hurt her back while loading all those heavy blocks into her car.


They should have stuck with pumpkin pie and caramel apples …

Two stories caught my eye, tales of strange foods concocted for the Hallowe’en season …

First, Starbucks has unveiled the Zombie Frappuccino at its stores throughout the United States and Canada.

What is it? “The Zombie Frappuccino blended beverage has a ghastly green body made with frappuccino crème infused with flavors of tart apple and caramel and topped with pink whipped cream ‘brains’ and red mocha drizzle,” according to the Starbucks website.

Zombie frappaccinoStarbucks has celebrated Halloween since 2014, starting with the Franken Frappuccino blended beverage, followed by the Frappula Frappuccino in 2015 and 2016.

Then, an Australian fast-food joint called Huxtaburger outdid itself with the Bugstaburger, that will be sold only on Hallowe’en day.

bugstaburgerNow, I thought that surely they were not using real insects … I mean, aren’t there rules against that sort of thing?  But it turns out this ‘masterpiece’ is stacked full of edible mealworms and ant mayonnaise, atop a regular beef patty, cheese, etc., all sitting in a bright blue bun. I do hope my Aussie friends, Ian and Andrea, are not planning to try one of these, but if they do, it’ll cost them A$10.50, or $8.10 USD.  A bit pricey for … bugs.  Blech.


Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp …

ramen-noodles.jpg How do you guys feel about ramen noodles?  We eat a lot of them in my house … they’re cheap, quick & easy, taste pretty good, and cost about 20 cents per pack, so we eat a lot of them!  Now, my girls eat them with chopsticks, but I rather like the noodles actually making it into my mouth rather than slithering down the front of my shirt, so I crunch them up before cooking, then eat them with a spoon, like soup.  Anyway, when eaten with chopsticks, one tends to make slurping sounds.  Now there is a solution for offsetting those slurping sounds … a noise-canceling ramen fork!

ramen forkHow does it work, you ask?  Well … a microphone embedded inside the large, white fork detects the sound of slurping, prompting the user’s smartphone to play a sound effect using near-field communication.

And how much does it cost, you ask?  Sit down … $130.  Yes, folks, for only one hundred and thirty dollars you, too, can eat your noodles without the embarrassment of slurping!  But hurry … pre-orders are being taken only until December 15th!  As for me, I’ll just stick with my spoon.

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Check those Amazon packages closely …

A Florida couple ordered some plastic totes from Amazon … you know, those things that you store your Christmas decorations and summer clothes in?  But when the totes arrived, the couple thought they seemed a bit heavier than they expected.  Well, imagine their surprise when they opened them and found what turned out to be 65 pounds of marijuana in them!  Hundreds of orders from Amazon over the past 15 years or so, and all I’ve ever gotten is toilet paper, Tide, etc.  Sigh.

The funniest part, though, was that they tried for over a month to find out from Amazon just how this had happened, but never could get through to a supervisor or manager to get answers.  Eventually, Amazon sent them an email with a gift card for $150 and a message that said, “I am unable to do anything else at this time.”


Politically incorrect?  or … When you gotta go, you gotta go …

A friend told me about this one last week, and I just had to see for myself.  Turns out French President Emmanuel Macron’s dog upstaged an on-camera meeting at Elysee palace by peeing on the fireplace!  Check out this short (18 seconds) video …


And because tomorrow is Hallowe’en, I thought a few funny jokes appropriate to the holiday would be in order …

Q: Why did the ghost go into the bar?

A: For the Boos.

Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton cross the road?

A: He had no guts.

Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite drink?

A: Bloodveiser (or Blood Light)

Q: What do you get when you mix Frosty the Snowman with a vampire?

A: Frost bite.

Alright, alright … stop throwin’ the tomatoes … so, they’re corny, but isn’t that pretty much what Hallowe’en is about?  Candy corny?  OW!!! 

candy corn

Candy Corny


Well, folks … that about wraps up another Monday … I have to go wash this tomato juice off before the moggies come after me!  I hope you’ve enjoyed our time together … I know I have.  Be careful tomorrow night, there will be little creatures in the streets, so slow down and watch out for them, okay?  Have a safe and fun Hallowe’en, have a wonderful week, and as always … please share those smiles … as one who could use a few myself this week, I know how important it is, and you’ll feel happier too!

A Jolly Autumn Monday …

witchGood Morning, folks, and welcome to Jolly Monday!!!  How was your weekend?  I don’t know about where you live, but once again this year it appears that fall is non-existent.  Oh sure, it looks like fall with the leaves all various shades of red, orange and gold, and the flowers dead or dying.  But the temperatures … yesterday it was 80°F/27°C and by the middle of the week, the high temperature is to be 48°F/9°C.  From air-conditioning to heat in one easy flip o’ the switch.  But anyway, here we are together, celebrating the start of a brand new week, new opportunities and new adventures.  Yeah, okay … a bit of overkill, huh?  Anyway, folks, grab a cup of coffee and a piece of fruit, and let’s find a bit of humour to start this week.


Law Enforcement via Facebook …

Now talk about an honour system.  A Facebook user, Matthew Zaydel, who goes by the screen name of Champagne Torino had several misdemeanor warrants out against him.  Rather than wait for the Redford Township (Michigan) police to show up at his front door with a warrant someday, he took the bull by the horns and posted the following message on the police department’s Facebook page.Facebook-post-1Apparently none of Mr. Zaydel’s crimes were of a serious nature, for the police responded with …

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

Mr. Champagne Torino has issued the RTPD a challenge. As you can see below, if we can have this post SHARED 1000 times, he will turn himself in to RTPD on his existing warrants, clean up blight on public school property, and bring us a dozen donuts. Donuts!!!! He promised us donuts! You know how much we love Donuts!

Help us win this challenge and clean up blight in Redford at the same time! It’s as easy as a SHARE of this post.

Within an hour, the post had received the requisite 1,000 shares and Zaydel, true to his word, turned himself in at 6:30 p.m. Monday. He brought police a box of doughnuts — and one bagel.  Think about it, folks … we could save a bundle if all warrants were served so easily.  Plus, the officers would be happy to have the donuts.

donuts-Zaydel


Pet-Friendly???

Some motels and shopping places advertise themselves as being “pet friendly”.  But how does one define “pet”?  I have a friend who has a boa constrictor and considers it a pet.  Another friend has a bunny for her office companion.  I suspect that in the future, the Super 8 Motel in Geogetown Kentucky may re-write their “pet-friendly policy” to be a bit more specific.

Lindsey Partridge checked into the Super 8 Motel on the evening of October 4th, along with her pet named Blizz … a retired racehorse!  Imagine the desk clerk’s surprise when she looked up to see a horse standing at the front desk!

Ms. Partridge is a trainer and founder of Harmony Horsemanship in Ontario, Canada, where her goal is to show others that if you create a calm connection with your horse, they can go virtually anywhere.

The motel staff, though likely a bit surprised, found it all in fun, and nothing was said, even after Partridge took Blizz into the motel room for a bit of television-watching.  However the next day, the hotel manager was, shall we say, less than thrilled with the whole thing.  There is some question as to whether Ms. Partridge will be welcomed back next year.


A Pricey Bagel …

If you buy a pack of six bagels at the grocery, you pay about $2.40, or 40 cents per bagel.  Now sure, if I am eating out, I expect to pay more … a dollar, two dollars …  But if you stay at the Westin New York hotel in Times Square, you are going to pay just a bit more than that.  Take a guess … no … nope … higher … give up?  $1,000!  Hugh … pick your jaw up off the floor now.  Gronda … you okay?  Yes, I did say $1,000.

This same bagel was introduced for a brief period in 2007.  What?  No, not this exact same bagel … although bagels do seem to have an almost unlimited shelf life.  It is a very limited edition item and will be available only from November 1st until December 15th.  What makes it so special, you ask?  Take a look …

BagelToppings include goji berry infused Riesling jelly, gold leaves and Alba white truffle cream cheese. So, as far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t even sound tasty!!!  And who in their right mind would pay $1,000 for a bloomin’ bagel?  Gold leaves … you’d break a tooth on those!

Pound for pound, the white truffle is the second most expensive food in the world, next to caviar.  I don’t like caviar either … I wonder what this says about me?  I’ll stay at home with my 40-cent bagel topped with some plain ol’ Kroger brand cream cheese and a handful of raisins, thank you.  Obviously this one is for people with more money than common sense!


The CIA Fired … WHO???

I applied to work for the CIA one time.  Took a 7-hour test and did well enough that they called and wanted me to go to Washington to meet with some people and proceed to the next step of the hiring process.  I don’t know exactly what possessed me to even start the process, for at the time I had three young children.  A lark, I suppose.  But by the time I was invited to proceed to stage 2, common sense had returned and I declined their offer.

The CIA is a tough taskmaster … they do not put up with whining and a lack of interest in the job.  You do that and you’re O-U-T!!!  Imagine how hurt poor Lulu must have been then, when last Wednesday the CIA announced that she was being relieved of her duties in the explosive detection program.  Lulu is young, perhaps too young to fully understand what she did wrong, at a mere one-and-a-half years of age.  Oh … did I forget to mention that Lulu is a canine, as in dog?

Lulu was a part of the “puppy class” training program that teaches dogs to sniff out explosive odors.  “A few weeks into training, Lulu began to show signs that she wasn’t interested in detecting explosive odors,” the CIA said in a news release.

LuluBut don’t feel too sad for Lulu, for the story has a happy ending.  Lulu was a adopted by her loving handler, who had the chance to work with her during imprint training. She now enjoys her days playing with his kids, sniffing out rabbits and squirrels in the backyard, and eating meals and snacks out of a dog dish.  Um … sounds a lot better than sniffing out explosives anyway, don’t you think?


One Heck Of A Wine-Tasting

On October 7th, Celina Dally, a college student in  Louisiana attended a wine-tasting whereby she apparently imbibed a bit too much and ended up being arrested for public intoxication.  Somewhere along the line, Dally passed out and when she awoke, she found out that she was also charged with assaulting an officer, for she had tried to bite Officer Guillory.

Last week, apparently recovered from her hangover, she made it up to the officer by taking him a cookie-cake with “Sorry I tried to bite you” written in icing.

celina dally.jpgIf the picture is any indication, all is now well, and we can only hope that Ms. Dally learned a lesson.


Well, dear friends, I am sad to say that our time has come to a close, for we all have important work to be doing.  I’ve really enjoyed seeing you today, enjoyed sharing some fun and chuckles, and as you go about your business today, please share your beautiful smiles with those around you, for we all need a few extra these days, don’t we?  Have a safe week, a good week, and remember to take a bit of time to just enjoy life!  Love and many hugs to you all!!!

Maxine-halloweentoon-1

toon-2

(Sorry … I couldn’t resist)

toon-3

Knock-Knock … It’s Jolly Monday!!!

Welcome Friends!!!  I feel like it’s been more than a week since we had our last Jolly Monday … I’ve missed you all!  I hope you had a wonderful weekend, that everybody is well and happy, and ready to face a new week! I would like to pull a Rip van Winkle and sleep until about January, for the expensive time of year is coming up.  Daughter Chris’ birthday is the 26th, Miss Goose’s birthday is November 28th, and then, of course, there is Christmas.  I tried to convince the girls to have birthdays one year, and Christmas the next … y’know, just alternate and save a bundle.  Do you think they bought into that?  Noooooo … sigh.  Anyway, in the words of Scarlett O’Hara, “I won’t worry about that today, I’ll worry about it tomorrow.”  So for today, let us grab a cup of coffee, a bite of something, and have a few laughs together.


Leetspeak …

Yesterday I received one of those ‘milestone’ notifications from WordPress.  You know … the ones where they say “Congratulations, you now have 1,000 followers” or some such.  This one, however, confused the heck out of me:

“Congratulations on writing 1337 posts on Filosofa’s Word!”

I read it to Miss Goose, laughing as I jokingly said … “Is there some special significance to the number 1,337?”  Turns out there is, and Miss Goose knew exactly what it was.  “It’s leet,” she said.

“Leak?”

“No, leet.”

“Leap?”

“No … leetL-E-E-T! It’s an internet abbreviation, like ‘rofl’ or ‘omg’, only 1337 stands for leet.”

More confused than ever, not having a clue what she just said, I turned to Google.  Google directed me to Wikipedia who had this to say about 1337:

“Leet (or “1337”), also known as eleet or leetspeak, is an alternative alphabet for many languages that is used primarily on the Internet. It uses some characters to replace others in ways that play on the similarity of their glyphs via reflection or other resemblance. For example, leet spellings of the word leet include 1337 and l33t; eleet may be spelled 31337 or 3l33t. The term leet is derived from the word elite. The leet alphabet is a specialized form of symbolic writing.”

And I still have no clue what any of this means, so my final conclusion is that I do not care, I have more important things to think about, and that is that.  I just thought I would share this because perhaps some of you already received this message from WordPress and were confounded as I was.  Hopefully I helped clear it up for you.


A Rocking Chair or an Airplane?

Wagstaff-5Meet Trish Wagstaff.  Ms. Wagstaff is 85 years of age and a widow.  She has always been active, but after hip replacement surgery in 2002, friends thought she would slow down.  She was, after all, 70-years old!  But don’t expect to see Ms. Wagstaff in a rocking chair with knitting needles in her hand.  She will be … well here … they say a picture is worth a thousand words …

She has been on the longest zipwire in Europe and performed a catapulted paraglide, a 100m abseil down the Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth, swum with sharks, has wing-walked and paraglided.

Trish urged other pensioners to swap the sedentary lifestyle for a bit of action. She said: “An awful lot of people in their 70s have said to me, ‘I can’t do it, I’m far too old.’ I would encourage pensioners to stop saying ‘I’m old’ and get up and do something.”

Now, I greatly admire this woman, her fortitude, stamina and courage.  But dear friends, I am only 66 and I am telling you … do not even think you will talk me into any of this!  Adventure for me these days comes in different forms, from chopping onions and trying to keep all 10 fingers intact, trying to make the socks come out even and matched, and trying not to be eaten alive by a certain Tiger Lily.  Not to mention trying to maintain sanity in this crazy world. So no, I will not be standing atop an airplane while it is flying, nor jumping out of one.  But thumbs up to Trish Wagstaff!

thumbs


Strange Robbers …

Now, I know the rule for the Jolly Monday and Saturday Surprise posts is “no politics” and I adhere to that.  What follows is not a political statement, I promise … I just thought it was too funny to pass by …

In the northern Italy town of Turin, two brothers robbed dozens of bank cash machines while wearing masks (the robbers, not the machines).  And what kind of masks were they wearing?  Take a gander …

Trump masks‘Nuff said.


What A Mess …

It is autumn, and that means festivals.  We used to go to a small Applefest in the town next to ours, where they had homemade crafts, jams, jellies, and of course every homebaked apple treat imagineable.  It used to be a lot of fun, but in recent years it has grown so big, while the town has remained so small, that you take your life into your hands just finding a place to park.  And there are too many people … the whole atmosphere just isn’t the same, so we stopped going.

But in the Maine town of Damariscotta, there is an annual Pumpkinfest and Regatta that is quite different than your average fall festival.  There is a pumpkin derby, a pumpkin catapult, an official Giant Pumpkin Parade, and pumpkin art!  But one of the main events is the pumpkin drop, where giant pumpkins are lifted high by a crane, then released and dropped onto cars!  No, silly, not cars in the parking lot, but a couple of old junkers, as best I can tell.  Watch …

I’m not sure I would want to be part of the clean-up crew!  And here is a sample of some of the pumpkin art …


What Kind of Coffee???

I am a coffee-holic … I start with coffee when I first stumble downstairs in the morning, and drink it all the way up until I go to bed, usually somewhere between 3:00 – 5:00 a.m.  Though at home I usually stick to plain Caribou blend, I will try new things, and any time Starbucks comes out with a new flavour, I give it at least one shot.  My favourite thus far is Salted Caramel Mocha, which is only available during the fall months.  Canadian coffee house Tim Horton’s came out with a new flavour this month, and while I am not sure if I would like it, I would give it a try, and might, as there is a Tim Horton’s just north of where I live.  It is … wait for it … rein in those taste buds … Buffalo-Spice Latte.  Yep, you guessed it. It is fashioned after Buffalo Chicken Wings …

Tim Hortons

A pair of Tim Horton’s locations in Buffalo, New York, have introduced a new drink combining Buffalo-flavor seasoning and seasonal lattes.  According to Stephen Goldstein, regional president of Tim Hortons U.S., “We decided to surprise our loyal guests by pairing our new handcrafted Latte with the bold Buffalo flavor that’s so iconic to the region. The unlikely pairing comes together to create an unexpectedly delicious sweet and spicy treat.”

As I said, I would at least try it, but I am unclear as to whether it is only available in the Buffalo stores, or nationwide.  Might be a good time to go visit Uncle Leon!


Knock Knock …

I love knock-knock jokes, don’t you?  Short, sweet, to the point, and funny.  I do not tell jokes well.  In fact, I have been dubbed “the worst joke teller in the world”.  More than once.  By at least 4 different people.  My timing is poor, and my memory poorer.  But, since I am typing, not telling, and you are reading, not listening, this small assortment should work out fine.  I start with one of my old favourites …

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the tub, I’m dwowning!

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Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Luke.

Luke who?

Luke through the keyhole to see!

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Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Isabelle.

Isabelle who?

Isabelle working, or should I keep knocking?

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Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Somebody who can’t reach the doorbell!

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Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Figs.

Figs who?

Figs your doorbell, it’s not working!

Okay, okay … I’m done with the knock-knock jokes now.  Take pity on my poor girls …. I made them listen to every one of them and if they didn’t laugh, I repeated them.

Well, my dear friends … and make no mistake … you are my dear friends and I cherish you all.  Alas, it is time for us all to get busy and make ourselves useful in one way or another.  You already know what I will be doing.  Sigh.  Have a wonderful week, a good day today, and please … share those smiles!  Other people may not have gotten their fill of knock-knock jokes this morning and might be in need of a friendly smile.  Keep safe and have a great week!  Love & hugs!!!

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♫ Rainy Days and Jolly Mondays ♫

♫ Talkin’ to myself and feelin’ old ,,, ♪ Sometimes I’d like to quit ♫ Nothin’ ever seems to fit ♪ Hangin’ around ♫ Nothin’ to do but frown ♪ Rainy days and Mond … ays … always …

OH!!! ,,, Hi!  heh heh … 😳 You’re early!  ⏲️  Oh … no, you’re right on time!  I must be running late!  I blame it on Keith, for he planted this song in my head, see, and ….

Okay, let’s start over here.  Welcome, once again, my dear friends to Jolly Monday!  I hope you all had a wonderful autumn weekend.  Perhaps not so much if you live in Mississippi, but at least Nate was much weaker than the previous three, and my friend Benjamin, who lives on the gulf coast of Mississippi sent me a video and said they were safe and it moved through rather quickly.  So, much to be happy about.  I got up early this morning … actually, stayed up late last night … and baked a few treats, so pull up a chair and let us see if we can find a few things to laugh about this morning, shall we?


I’m not a fan of bright coloured cars.  I suppose I once was, but they stand out like sore thumbs, and are basically cop-magnets, so I prefer black, dark green, grey or dark blue.  Remember what happened earlier this summer when I rented a red car for my trip to Pennsylvania?  I swear it was the red car that jinxed me!  In Germany, one Markus Zahn learned a very expensive lesson about having an orange car!  His $265,000 sports car, a bright orange McLaren 650S Spider, was mistaken by a hungry donkey, for a carrot!  I kid you not!  Vistus the donkey caused about $6,800 in damage by biting the back of the car.

Hungry-donkey-mistakes-orange-McLaren-for-giant-carrotZahn took it pretty well, all things considered ..

“I looked into the rear-view mirror and suddenly saw a pair of fluffy ears. And then I heard a strange sound. The sound came from a donkey, who was gnawing at my fender. The donkey probably thought the car was a carrot on wheels. I’m not mad at him.”


pumpkinsLast week in Baltimore, Maryland, Cristo Rey Jesuit High School was evacuated.  No, not a bomb threat, not a fire nor a broken water main.  The culprit this time?  A pumpkin-spice air freshener.  Yes, seriously.  During the afternoon, students began noticing an odd odor coming from the third floor.  Taking no chances, school officials evacuated the school and called the fire department’s Hazmat (Hazardous Materials) team.  After extensive testing, the fire department identified the source of the offending smell as a pumpkin spice air freshener.

pumpkin spice

Okay, I get that they were a bit overly cautious, but better safe than sorry.  But five people, 2 students and 3 adults, were actually taken to the hospital as a precaution. Now isn’t that overkill?


Sometimes when I clean my pantry out, I find a can or two of soup that has surpassed its “best used by” date.  If it is only a month or two, no worries, we will eat it.  If, however, it is six months or beyond, I may pitch it.  But … well … a foodbank, Cardiff Food Bank in Wales, received an expired can of soup …

old-soupAs one twitterer said, this soup belongs in a museum, not a foodbank!  This particular can of soup was 46 years beyond its expiry date, and that variety was discontinued 35 years ago!  In the same donation were other expired cans, including one of Green Giant corn from the 1980s.  The foodbank’s fundraising manager, Helen Bull, said that the cans were donated as part of the harvest festival and the foodbank was unsure who dropped them off.

If this was a prank, then obviously it isn’t funny.  But I have another theory.  I wonder if some elderly person died, and as their family was emptying their house, they came across these food items and just, unthinkingly, tossed them into the basket for charity.  You know what packrats we elderly can be … ahem.


fortune-cookieDo you usually read your fortune cookie at a Chinese restaurant?  Mine always say the same thing: “Thank you for visiting P.F. Chang’s” Anyway, if you just give it a cursory glance and then toss it aside, as most people do, you might want to think twice next time.

92-year-old Charles “Chuck” Svatos received a fortune cookie as part of his meal at a casino in early September.  The fortune read:  “You will discover an unexpected treasure.” Pretty standard fortune-cookie fortune, right?  But Chuck put the fortune in his wallet anyway.  Imagine his surprise on September 25th when he discovered he had won $390,000 in the Lucky for Life drawing!

lottery-winSvatos was offered a cash payout of $390,000 or $25,000 a year for life.  At age 92, I believe he was wise to take the $390,000, which is what he did.  He says he plans to use the money to travel!  I hope you enjoy the heck out of it, Mr. Svatos!


And speaking of lottery winners …

Hermenegildo Beltran-Meza liked his lottery tickets, but his wife had given him a lecture about wasting money buying lottery tickets.  We can imagine him sitting there, nodding his head and saying, “yes, dear”, while in his mind wondering how he can continue to buy the tickets without wifey finding out.  Well, he found a way to buy two California Black Premium Scratchers for $10 each.  When he got home, he was so afraid of his wife finding out that he went into the bathroom to scratch the tickets!

lotto-ticket

Well, the first ticket was a bust, but Mr. Beltran-Meza could hardly believe his eyes when he scratched off the second!  ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!

winning

Now my thought was that wifey wasn’t going to see a thin dime of it.  But, Mr. Beltran-Meza is a nice man, a kind and forgiving man, and all he said to her when he showed her the winning ticket was, “You said I’m never going to win and there I won, there’s proof.”  I suspect he gloated for just a moment.  The couple says they will use most of the money to save toward retirement.  Wise choice.


In the market to buy a museum?  There are some really odd ones out there, but there is one for sale to the highest bidder in San Antonio, Texas.  Barney Smith, 96, is offering his Toilet Seat Art Museum, containing more than 1,300 hand-decorated toilet seats, to the highest bidder. All 1,321 toilet seats have been handcrafted by Barney himself.

toilet-seat-artSo how did Barney get his start designing toilet seats?  Well, he was working in the family’s plumbing business way back in the day, when he stopped for some supplies at the local plumbing supply house.  He noticed about 50 toilet seats out back that were going to be hauled off.  “And I said [to the guy] ‘what are you going to do with those toilet seats. I would like to have some of these toilet seats to do some art on.’”

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Toilet seat commemorating the Challenger disaster

Barney seems a fun sort, and you really ought to take a minute to check out this article about him.

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Trolls on a toilet seat

Some of these toilet seats are … ahem … well, rather oddish.  However, I applaud Mr. Smith’s creativity and his perseverance, and I hope he is able to sell his museum for lots of money and enjoy a long, happy retirement!

toilet-seats


And now, dear friends, I must go attend to my never-ending laundry, figure out what to make for dinner tonight, do a bit of cleaning, then settle in to see what’s up in the world today.  I’ve enjoyed our time together and hope you have too!  I hope I’ve given you something to smile about, and that you will go share that smile today.  We’ve all been through some rough times, and everybody can use a smile.  Remember, too, that a smile gets bigger every time you share it!  Keep safe and have a great week ahead!  Love and hugs from Filosofa!


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