We Wish You A Jolly Monday …

yawn-3.jpgYAWN … sorry ‘bout that, folks … must have been all that wild partying over the weekend!  (Note that I may define ‘wild partying’ differently than most!)

Glad to see you all survived the weekend and are ready to tackle another week, starting with this bright, cheery Jolly Monday morning!  I think this Monday it may be even more important that we find some things to laugh about to start off the work-week on the right foot, so I tried extra hard to set the dial on my mind to “funny”.  So, grab a cuppa coffee, tea, or whatever you can find, and let us have a laugh, a chuckle, or at least a smile!


A great deal …

The single biggest monthly expense for most of us is housing – whether you own or rent.  Rental housing is particularly volatile in some areas.  For example, in the city of Amsterdam, there is a housing shortage which has driven rental prices sky high.  But consider this one …

Amsterday-apt.jpgThis one is a 35 sq metre (377 sq. ft.) apartment, boasting its own “private kitchen”, for a mere €1,100 ($1,300 USD) per month!  To put it into perspective, I have three times as much space and pay only $1,040 per month.  But that is not even the kicker here.  For there are just a couple of caveats:  cooking is strictly prohibited and no more than two people are allowed into the flat at any one time!  Now, I ask you … would you pay $1,300 per month for a home that is so tiny you have to step outside to turn around, and then not even be able to cook a meal?  And … what if you wish to invite your good friends Tom & Gina over for … well, you can’t invite them for a meal, but perhaps for drinks?  Nope.  Either Tom or Gina, but if they both come, then you must step outside, where at least you can turn around!  Perhaps you could talk to them through an open window?


An ancient jewel thief …

Doris Payne is 86 years old. Last month, poor Doris was arrested at a Wal-Mart in Chamblee, Georgia, for shoplifting.  Awwww …. poor Doris probably needed a bit of food, right? Well, perhaps so, but … when Doris was arrested, it was found that she was wearing an ankle monitor from a previous arrest for shoplifting. In fact, ‘poor’ Doris is known as a ‘serial shoplifter’, with crimes dating back to the 1950s when she was only in her 20s!

Doris-Payne.jpgPayne has served multiple jail terms for her crimes. She is thought to have stolen $2m in jewellery and was even profiled in a 2013 documentary titled The Life and Crimes of Doris Payne   .  She even has her own Wikipedia page. She is most noted as an international jewel thief and she had a winning tactic.  She would enter a jewelry store, posing as a well-to-do woman, typically looking for a diamond ring. Using her charm, she would engage the clerk, asking to see an assortment of items. Eventually, she would “cause the clerk to forget” just how many items were outside the case; and, at some point, she would leave with one or two pieces.

Her biggest heist ever is believed to have been stealing a 10-carat diamond ring, valued at $500,000, from Monte Carlo in the 1970s. But this latest was quite a comedown, as she stole only $86 worth of food and medical supplies.  Police say that in her sixty years as a jewel thief she has likely gotten away with more than she has been convicted of, so one might expect she would have sufficient funds for food, but perhaps she spent her ill-gotten gains on lawyers and bail!

Somehow, though, despite it all, I look at her picture and I cannot help feeling a little bit sorry for ol’ Doris.


Or was he pushed …

He was just doing his job – patrolling the streets of Washington, D.C., doing his part to ensure the public safety in a city that sees millions of tourists every year.  And then … he was no more … a step-accident left him drowned in a fountain.

robot.jpgThe article on the BBC’s website did not tell his name, so I am calling him “Steve” for the purpose of this article (after my friend Steve B.) because nobody should die alone, in a fountain, with no name.  Oh, did I happen to mention that Steve is a … robot?  You may have surmised that from the photo.  He is … was … one of several patrolling robots produced by Knightscope, a company that produces fully autonomous robots, used to monitor crimes in schools, businesses, and neighborhoods.

Steve’s cohorts have had accidents also, though not quite as deadly.  Last year, a 16-month-old toddler was run over by one of the autonomous devices in a Silicon Valley shopping center, and earlier this year, a Californian man was arrested after attacking a Knightscope robot. The man, who was drunk at the time of the incident, later said he wanted to “test” the machine. (The child, by the way, was running toward the robot and received only minor injuries, though she may grow up with a mistrust of robots!)

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Steve’s brothers and sister — awaiting the final word from the doc

I have to wonder, though … surely Steve had built-in safeguards to keep him from tumbling down the steps and into the fountain … it makes one wonder if, perhaps, foul play was involved?  R.I.P. Steve … you will be missed.


How many???

Any of my readers wear contact lenses?  I wanted to when I was in my 20s, but was told my eyes were “not round” and that they would not work well.  It’s probably just as well, as I tend to be careless and forgetful, so it likely would not have worked out well.  In fact, perhaps I would have ended up like the woman who went to Solihull Hospital in the UK for cataract surgery.  The opthamologist had previously noted a ‘bluish mass’ which turned out to be some 27 contact lenses fused together.  I will spare you the gory details, but once they were removed, the woman said her eyes felt much more comfortable.

eye.jpgNow, this leaves some things unanswered for me, like how the sam heck does one forget to take out the old before putting in the new … 27 times!!!  And … think about it … if I get a teesy-weensy speck of dust or makeup in my eye, it drives me crazy!  Wouldn’t one think that having 27 contact lenses in one eye would be well beyond “uncomfortable”?  I think perhaps this woman’s problems go deeper than her eyes …


A Smurf Village no more …

blue-village.jpgJúzcar, Spain, a bright blue cluster of buildings high in the Andalusian mountains. Delightful, yes?  Not only are the houses all Smurf-blue, but there are mushroom-capped public kiosks, and Smurf-impersonators meander through the streets.  You can even have a Smurf-themed wedding!  But sadly, every Smurf village must have its Gargamel, and Júzcar is no exception.

In 2011, as the movie The Smurfs was about to make its debut, Sony Pictures marketers approached the people of Júzcar and offered the village a deal.  The village could increase their tourism and put themselves on the map if they would allow Sony to paint all their houses, including churches and gravestones, Smurf-blue.  After a bit of thought, the villagers agreed, and after 4,200 liters of blue paint, the village looked like this …

But now, Gargamel … er, rather Pierre Culliford, the Smurf’s original creator, has ordered the village to remove all Smurf-related items and cease Smurfie activities, such as the weddings.  The village, which had 35% unemployment prior to 2011, had seen a surge of tourism … about 500%!  No word on what bee got into Mr. Culliford’s bonnet, as the village was already paying him 12% of their profits on Smurf-related revenue.  The village will remain blue, at least for the time being.

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And so, sadly, concludes our time … oh wait … I think I have something else … a short joke …

Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”

Man: “I had to get to work.”

Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”

Man: “I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus.”

Just one more …

The Judge asks the defendant, “When is your birthday Mr McKenzie?“

-“February 20th, Your Honor.”

-“And what year?”

“Every year, Your Honor.”

Okay … now we really need to get busy … just look at the time!  Please, dear friends, keep safe this week and remember to smile and share your smile.  We all need to remember to care for one another these days and a smile is the simplest, most basic way of saying “I care”.  Love and hugs from me to you all!

*Note to readers:  In light of Saturday’s horrific tragedy in Charlottesville, Virginia, I debated the appropriateness of doing my regular Jolly Monday post, but decided that we all needed a reason to step back and breathe for a minute.  I hope that humour at this time is not inappropriate or offensive.  In no way do I intend to diminish the seriousness of the event.  Please forgive me if I have offended anyone.

Monday-smiles

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This one is for Hugh and David!!!

♫ Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It’s Monday Don’t You Know! ♫

Good Monday Morning, my friends!  Have you noticed that Mondays seem to come along faster these days?  I have to wonder if we aren’t skipping over one of the other days …  Anyway, I hope you had a good weekend!  Mine was quiet … just the way I like it!  Daughter Chris was in Dublin (Ohio, not Ireland) for a band competition, so Miss Goose and I just happily lived a rather Bohemian lifestyle! But now, it is once again Monday morning, so to get this week off to a smiley start, grab a seat, some coffee, and let’s find something to laugh about, shall we?

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Boing … Boing … Boing …

Y’know, there are some really strange things in the Guinness World Record book.  I have to wonder who comes up with some of them.  Last week in England, for example, Dalton Smith broke the record for “most consecutive cars jumped over on a pogo stick.”  Take a look at the video and pay especial attention to the dramatic flourish at the end!

Dalton first started pogo-ing at the age of 10, and then seven years later found himself on national television, jumping on a pogo stick and flipping through the air over the head of talk show host Queen Latifah.  Then in 2010 came the accident that might have ended his pogo career forever.  At the national competition for the sport, called Pogopalooza, Smith shattered both of his knee caps and broke a few toes. He spent months in a wheelchair recovering. And right when he was given the green light to jump back on a pogo stick again, he broke his nose on it.

“I was just done with pogo,” he said. For a day or two, anyhow. Obviously he got back on the horse … er, pogo stick, and went on to see his name go down in history! Not bad for a 20-year-young man!


A considerate thief … and a polite theftee …

Canadians have a reputation for being kind and polite.  Surely those I know fit that description.

It all started when a Nova Scotia resident found his wheelbarrow to be missing and posted this sign at the foot of his driveway …

Monday-wheelbarrow-1.jpgApparently that was all it took to convince the thief to return the wheelbarrow, for the next day, the sign had been replaced with this one …

Monday-wheelbarrow-2.jpgJust think … if every body were this polite … what a wonderful world it could be!


And speaking of wheelbarrows …

I am reminded of this urban legend that has had many variations over the years:

There was a man who had worked at a factory for twenty years. Every night when he left the plant, he would push a wheelbarrow full of straw to the guard at the gate.

The guard would look through the straw, and find nothing and pass the man through.

On the day of his retirement the man came to the guard as usual but without the wheelbarrow.

Having become friends over the years, the guard asked him, “Charlie, I’ve seen you walk out of here every night for twenty years. I know you’ve been stealing something. Now that you’re retired, tell me what it is. It’s driving me crazy.”

Charlie simply smiled and replied, “Okay, wheelbarrows!”

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And speaking of thieves …

At least a wheelbarrow can be stolen fairly unobtrusively.  Other things … well, one just ought to think things through first.  Here are three stories where the thief failed to do that.

A woman in Kingsport, Tennessee, somehow thought it would be a good idea to steal a doll house from an unlocked storage unit. I have to ask … why a doll house???  Of all the things one might steal … a doll house???  Well anyway, when she got to her car, she quickly realized that said doll house was definitely not going to fit in the trunk of her mid-sized Oldsmobile, so she tried the backseat.

Monday-dollhouseNope.  So, eventually she leaves the doll house in the parking lot and drives off.  What she didn’t realize, was that the whole thing was captured by the security cameras in the parking lot!  The video is not, apparently, clear enough to discern the license plate number, as Kingsport police are asking anyone who recognizes the woman or the car to contact them.

Then there was Patrick Allen Chamberlin of Marshall Country, Iowa, who stole a yellow 1966 Ford GT40 replica belonging to Marshall County Supervisor Steve Salasek.  Now, a bright yellow car is not easy to hide, rather stands out like a sore thumb, right?  So, being of high IQ, Mr. Chamberlin decided to paint the car black!  Brilliant idea!  He used black flat paint and applied it with a roller …

Chamberlin was quickly caught after neighbors noticed bits of yellow showing through the hasty paint job, and has been charged with theft, possession of a controlled substance, drug paraphernalia and several traffic offenses.

But this one really takes the prize for ingenuity!  A Dutch man was arrested after police spotted him driving with a pair of stolen lamp posts on top of his car. I have to ask the same question I asked about the doll house:  why???  But even if there was a reason, wouldn’t you think … wouldn’t even the least intelligent among us realize that it makes no sense to transport two, long concrete poles atop a small, hatchback vehicle???

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And … he thought he blended in with the crowd???

The police were going to cite him for traffic violations:

“We start with the traffic violations. That the cargo should not be transported in this way must be clear. In addition, the car was not insured and the APK expired for more than three months. It is expected that justice will demand the highest possible penalty for driving under the influence of alcohol, because the defendant did not cooperate with the investigation.”

But then, they discovered that the lamp posts were “likely stolen from Almere and that the driver was guilty of other offenses such as fueling the vehicle without paying.”

Sigh … so many smart people in the world …


Will the real tortoise please stand up …

And last, but not least … Scottish cartoonist Neil Slorance has a pet tortoise named Herman, and just for a lark, he crafted a loaf of bread to resemble his beloved pet.

Monday-tortoise-bread.jpgThe two got on famously and even posed together for a picture. But then after the photo-op, Slorance said the tortoise took a nibble out of his bread doppleganger …

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Perhaps part of the mating ritual?


Well, folks, I’m afraid that’s the last in my Jolly Monday repertoire, so it is time to tighten those ties and head on out to the workplace of your choice!  I hope you enjoyed today’s “Jolly Monday” and we’ll do it again real soon … like, next Monday!  But in addition to that smile, I want to leave you with one more parting thought … a bit of a song, actually, that I’m hoping sticks in your head throughout the day:

Enjoy your week, keep safe, and please … share that wonderful smile with others … make their day!

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HOORAY For Jolly Monday!!!!

Happy Monday morning and welcome to … yet another … week.  Sigh … do we really have to do this week?  Could we not just … skip ahead a few weeks?  Wait … what am I saying???  I’m wishing away a few weeks of my life?  Nononono … let me reboot …

Happy Monday morning and welcome to what is going to be a great, fantastic, stupendous week for us all!  And do you know what is going to make it so wondrous?  You, my friends!  You guys ‘n gals always make me smile, and so this morning, I shall attempt to make YOU smile, and then you will go forth and share those smiles, and pretty soon, we will all be smiling … bigly.

I have so much material for smiles, chuckles and laughs today that I cannot even use it all, so grab a chair and help yourself to coffee and a bit of breakfast while I regale you with a tale!

 


Oopsie …. and OOPSIE …

Monday-targetI have been considering a new vacuum cleaner for the past few months.  With 7 furry-purries, I must vacuum daily, so mine gets quite a workout, and this one is about 5 years old.  I do hope, however, that when I decide to invest in a new one I have a better experience than Annie Banerjee of Houston, Texas!  Annie spent $300 on a Dyson (too pricey for Filosofa!) at her local Target store.  But when she arrived home and opened the box, she discovered that instead of a vacuum machine, the box was filled with rocks, dirty towels, and a can of bean-free chili!!!

Monday-Annie BBanerjee said she returned to the store about an hour later, but a store manager refused to refund her money and called the police on her!  I do not know the reason, but one might presume racial profiling, as Ms. Banerjee is an Indian-born U.S. citizen.  She also just happens to be an immigration lawyer and knows the law, so in the end, Target not only refunded her money but also gave her the Dyson vacuum – this time a real vacuum – for free.  No word on whether the store manager is still employed at Target, but I have doubts.


Fellow was axing for trouble …

Monday-car-axeSomeone called the Wyoming County (New York) Sheriff’s Office to report a suspicious vehicle.  It wasn’t all that hard for them to find, as it had no doors, no windshield, no windows at all, in fact, and no license plates.  But the really eye-catching thing was that there was an axe sticking out of the roof!

Monday-Jared-PriceThe driver of the car, 21-year-old Jared Price, also did not have the required insurance … GASP – I AM SHOCKED!!!  He was arrested on charges of driving while impaired by drugs, driving while impaired by a combination of drugs and alcohol, driving without license plates, operating an unregistered and uninspected motor vehicle, operating without insurance, lacking a front windshield and driving without safety glass. Phew … wears me out to even type all of that!  But what I still want to know is … how and why is the axe in the roof???


World Santa Claus Congress … who knew?

Monday-Santa-Congress“The World Santa Claus Congress at Bakken [Denmark] is both a professional forum and social meeting place for real Santas from all around the world. The Santas from around the world have the opportunity to meet and exchange experiences and to network.”

Monday-TrebiniThe Santa Congress is a four-day event that dates all the way back to 1957, and is the brainchild of ‘Professor Tribini’ (Christian Jørgen Nielsen), a legendary entertainer at the Bakken amusement park.  Events include an ever-important discussion of reindeer parking rules and ideal chimney dimension, followed by baking, storytelling, and even a footbath. Because, so we hear, all that scrambling up and down chimneys can make even the nimblest toes rather sore. But the most popular activity so far has been Zumba, the Latin-inspired dance fitness program. Blame it on all those cookies!

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Um … discussing reindeer parking rules, eh?


Give an alpaca some dance shoes …

Monday-alpacaHave you ever dreamed of dancing with … an alpaca? Well, now’s your chance! A farm in Canada is offering “alpaca dance classes” for anyone looking to get fit and cut a rug with the wooly mammals. ‘313 Farms’ in Manitoba is offering six weeks of dance and fitness classes including hip-hop, barre, cardio, pilates, mommy and me and boot camp with the company of friendly alpacas.

Each class lasts about 45 minutes and is followed by a 15-minute “Alpaca Meet and Greet” session for students to feed the animals and snap a selfie. Classes cost $10 for guests who register in advance and $15 at the door. Not bad … I’d pay that just to spend an hour with an alpaca instead of humans!


Full of hot air …

I might have enjoyed being in France last Friday, when 456 hot air balloons were released into the air all at once!  The occasion was the Mondial Air Balloons festival at an airbase in Chambley-Bussieres. Poor weather in the area postponed the record attempt twice throughout the week until the colorful balloons representing pilots from 45 different nations successfully launched at about 9 a.m.Monday-balloons-2It was a record-breaking event, the previous record of 433 having been set at the same festival in 2015. It took about 45 minutes for all of the balloons to rise into the formation. The balloons are Cloudhoppers, or one-person hot air balloons. The short clip below shows the prep & take-off in a compact, time-lapsed format and is super fun to see:

 


And speaking of mermaids …

The top mermaids in Great Britain gathered this weekend to determine who will earn the title of Miss Mermaid U.K.  Wait … mermaids???  I thought those were imaginary creatures?

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Those wishing to compete must be between the ages of 18 and 32 … why 32???  And they must be female … I was just about to say that is sexist, but then I realized … mermaid?  A male would have to be a merman or a mersir.  Hmmm …

Grace Page, the 25-year-old reigning Miss Mermaid, explained to the BBC about the skills she thinks are necessary to do well in the competition:

“If you want to be a professional mermaid it is essential that you train as a free diver and hold a free diving qualification. This will allow you to be able to hold your breath for longer periods of time and, more importantly, you will be able to do so safely.”

Monday-mermaid-1The winner will be adorned with a special crown and receive the opportunity to compete in the Miss Mermaid International final in Egypt in November. She will also receive a mermaid tail courtesy of Magictail, a free diving and mermaid swim course, a one-year contract with Hire A Mermaid U.K. and an underwater photoshoot.

I spent 30 minutes last night trying to find out who won, but information is sketchy. As best I can figure, a young lady named Laura Siddall took the crown & tail, but don’t quote me on that, as I culled the information from a Facebook page.  Well, congratulations to whomever won!

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And on that note, my friends, I must bid you adieu and send you on your merry ways.  Please keep safe, stay cool (in more ways than one!) and share those wonderful smiles with others today.  Love & hugs from Filosofa!

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'Mary, I've got meetings all day so I'm going to be unable to have my scheduled happiness moment at 3:01. You have it for me, OK?'

'The trip into the wilderness strengthened our team very much because the worst salesmen got eaten by wild animals.'Monday-toon-3

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Heeeeere’s MONDAY!!!

 

Here we are once again, yet another fine Monday morning!  I always look forward to these Monday mornings … I do so enjoy finding things to bring smiles to your faces.  Last week, Colette and Jack really enjoyed the apple, but a few others were disappointed and I had to promise my friend Steve extra donuts this week!  So grab a treat or two … hey Steve – leave a few for the rest of the gang!!!  Here … have some coffee … sit back and get ready for a chuckle or two!


Green beer, Green Eggs & Ham, and now ….

Imagine, if you will, the surprise Louise Sutherland experienced last week when, assisting her 3-year old golden retriever, Rio, give birth, one of the puppies came out … GREEN!

Monday-green puppyI will let Louise tell you the story in her own words …

“The first pup was stuck, so myself and my daughter Claire managed to free him and pull him out safely. It was all hands on deck but then as the puppies started to arrive, we noticed that one of the puppies had green fur. We couldn’t believe it. When we checked it out later we found out it is very unusual and to do with the placenta. The colour has faded quite a bit already and will be gone soon, I’m told. We’ve named him Forest.”

Monday-green puppy-2Turns out that, while very rare, this has happened before.  In 2014, two puppies from a litter born in the Spanish province of Valladolid were born green. The breeder, Aida Vallelado Molina, said, “I thought the puppies were dirty and tried to clean them, but the colour wouldn’t come off.”  And in 2012, a green Labrador puppy was born in England.

The green colour is caused by a bile pigment called biliverdin that is found in the placenta of dogs which can stain the puppy’s coat.  In the past cases, the colour has faded within about 10 days.  Too bad … I think a green dog would be quite the novelty!

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A fool and his money …

Two stories about shoes lead me to think, not for the first time, that some people have much more money than they have good sense.  Take a look at this pair of shoes and tell me what you think the price tag might read:

Monday-shoesSo what’s your guess?  $15.99 would have been mine … and that is about $16 more than I would pay for them anyway.  But no, you are wrong … no, not $100 … nope, not that either.  The price for this pair of uncomfortable-looking shoes is $799!

“The Birkenstock classic Arizona model has been recreated in the finest imbued and oiled natural leather in navy blue for this designer collection. The sterling silver buckles; which originate from the metalwork studio of jewelry designer Patrik Muff; are the highlight of the luxury sandals,” the product description reads.

But wait … if you thought that was bad …

Monday-shoes-2This is the “Future Destroyed High-Top Sneaker” sold by upscale retailer Neiman-Marcus.

“Maison Margiela deconstructs their “Future” high-top sneaker with heavy distressing. Leather and textile upper. Round toe. Lace-up front with side lace guards. Logo patch at tongue. Padded collar. Cushioned heel counter. Rubber outsole. Made in Italy.”  Retail price?  $1,425.

Sigh.  And for those who would purchase these shoes, why not pair them with these jeans from Nordstrom that come with pre-caked mud … for a mere $425!!!  Insta-grunge!

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I recently saw this headline:  Neiman Marcus considers sale in wake of financial woes.  Gee, I wonder why?  And by the way … the ‘pre-destroyed’ shoes … have sold out …


When life hands you lemons …

Make lemonade, right?  A lemonade stand run by kids on a hot summer day is almost as iconic as … as … oh heck, I don’t know – it’s just iconic, okay?

Monday-lemonadeAndre Spicer helped his 5-year-old daughter set up her lemonade stand last Saturday in the east London borough of Tower Hamlets.  The little girl was having great fun and was quite successful in her venture, as there was a concert nearby, and many on their way to the concert were charmed by the little girl’s smile and purchased her lemonade.

But then … then came the cops …

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“The lemonade quickly disappeared and her little money tin filled up. A happy scene. And then, after about 30 minutes, four local council enforcement officers stormed up to her little table,” said the senior Spicer.

The charge?  Operating the lemonade stand without a trading permit.

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After being informed that he would be fined £150 ($194 USD), Mr. Spicer sent a message to the council stating he “realized there were broader issues at stake, including how society treats children.”  Ultimately all charges were dropped and an apology tendered:

Monday-lemonade-3“We are very sorry that this has happened. We expect our enforcement officers to show common sense, and to use their powers sensibly. This clearly did not happen, The fine will be canceled immediately and we have contacted Professor Spicer and his daughter to apologize.”


Which one of these parts does not belong? …

Monday-dog-engineLidiane Braga Carlos of Campo Largo, Brazil had been out running errands one day last week and was on her way home when her car suddenly started spluttering and ground to a halt.

“My car just died in the middle of the street and suddenly didn’t want to work anymore so I pulled over to pop the hood and take a look. When I opened the bonnet and saw the dog I almost had a heart attack. ‘The poor little thing was very scared and I called the fire department straight away but before they arrived we managed to get him out. I’m so glad he didn’t get hurt. I took him to the vet but thankfully he was all okay.”

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Lidiane is currently caring for the dog at her home and hopes it’s owner will come forward to claim him.


Dumb … Dumber … Dumbest

David Blackmon, age 32, of Fort Walton Beach in Okaloosa County Florida called police to report a theft on 16 July.  Nothing too unusual there, right?  The stolen items, however, included $50 cash and a bag of cocaine that he claims were stolen from the center console of his vehicle.  Now … how dumb is it to call the cops to report a stolen bag of a highly illegal substance?  Pretty dumb, but it gets even dumber, for it turns out that David is a drug-dealer.  And to add insult to injury, the police found an assortment of drugs and drug paraphernalia in various locations throughout the car.  And dumbest of all … they police found the cocaine David claimed had been stolen, right where he said it was stolen from … in the center console!

David was charged with resisting an officer without violence, possessing drug paraphernalia and possessing cocaine, a felony charge.  He is currently out of jail on $4,000 bail, but I think this guy seriously needs to spend some time … somewhere … perhaps school?  But apparently David is not the only one …

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And so concludes another Jolly Monday together.  I am sad to see you go, but you must go do useful things so you can get a paycheck, and I must go fold yet more laundry and cut up some veggies for tonight’s Pasta Primavera, one of my favourite dishes to make!  If you do just one good thing today, let it be to share that gorgeous smile you have with somebody who needs one.  So go forth and be productive … keep safe and try to stay cool.  Have a happy week!!!

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That extra 1/4 mile will get you a ticket!!!

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This one’s for you, Steve!

And On This Jolly Monday, Ye Shall …. SMILE!!!

Once again we face the daunting task of a new week … 7 days, 168 hours … and we do so with a smile, right folks?  We … wha … who said “No”?  Yes, we shall, now sit down and smile!  Now, I usually bake cinnamon rolls or some such treat for our Monday morning, but today I have decided to keep our treat gluten-free for a couple of readers who didn’t eat the cinnamon rolls, so …

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gluten-free apple

 

 

So, let us move on, for I know that some of you have jobs to go to and cannot lollygag around here all day.


Electrifying speech by father of the bride …

“It was a beautiful wedding,” said the mother of the bride.  The wedding, held in the family’s apple orchard in Lower Woodstock, New Brunswick, had gone off without a hitch and now it was time for some celebrating.  The father of the bride, JP Nadeau, had just begun his toast with, “You know, Adam, you are one lucky guy …”, when out of the blue (literally) came a bolt of lightning (again, literally).

Monday-wedding“As soon as I said that, my daughter’s eyes – she was looking at me – just popped right out. Because all of a sudden there was this lightning flash that hit right behind me. The electricity went through the wire, because I was holding a microphone. I saw lightning in my hand. I was really freaked out. I had the microphone and the shock jumped into the sound system and my hand just lit up and I saw the spark. And I’m looking at my hand and it’s all flared up … It was like I was holding a lightning bolt in my hand, it was amazing. I felt the current go right through me, but it was my hand I was worried about, because I’m a piano man. I want to keep playing. I don’t care if I die. I want to keep playing.”

After determining the only damage was a small scorch mark on his thumb, Nadeau continued his toast, only to be interrupted yet again by the people in the sound booth who were frantically yelling at him to bring back the microphone he was holding. He calmly walked over to the sound booth to hand them the microphone as the wedding guests looked on, stunned. “They thought I was going to drop dead.”

Monday-lightningNonetheless, the party resumed, albeit under a tent, for the lightning bolt was, predictably, followed by wind and rain.  It is said that a good time was had by all, and JP Nadeau is well aware that son-in-law Adam was not the only ‘lucky guy’ that day!


Not Candid Camera …

Imagine that you go to the ATM, conduct your business, and in lieu of a receipt, this is what comes through the slot …

Monday-atm-noteMost people at this point would be looking around for a hidden camera.  Many took it as a joke and simply drove off.  But finally, after three hours and who knows how many notes, somebody flagged down police Officer Richard Olden.  The officer was also inclined to brush it off as a prank, but as he approached the ATM he could hear a faint voice.

What happened?  A repairman was called to the ATM in a bank under construction to repair a door lock.  Leaving his cell phone in his truck, he entered the ATM and with a sinking feeling, heard the door close behind him.  Oopsie.  So he began writing notes.  I wonder just how many such notes he had to write before finally somebody took it seriously? Lucky he didn’t leave his pen and notepad in the truck with his cellphone!


Hubby storage …

Most of us leave our hubbies or significant others home when we go to the mall.  (Actually, I HATE malls and as it happens, in my family the girls leave ME home, for which I am thankful.)  Malls and men mostly do not mix.  But every now and then, one gets stuck taking hubby who, being totally bored, exhibits eye-rolling and deep sighs, not-so-furtive glances at his watch, and occasional foot-tapping.  By this time, it seems just simpler to leave than to continue whatever shopping we set out to do.  But a mall in China may have hit on a brilliant solution for both wife and hubby … hubby storage pods!!!

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“According to The Paper, the Global Harbour mall in Shanghai has erected a number of glass pods for wives to leave any disgruntled husbands that don’t want to be dragged around the shops.

Inside each individual pod is a chair, monitor, computer and gamepad, and men can sit and play retro 1990s games. Currently, the service is free, but staff told the newspaper that in future months, users will be able to scan a QR code and pay a small sum for the service using their mobile phones.” – BBC, 14 July 2017

I think it is a pretty good idea that may catch on, but … I can picture many a wife finishing her shopping and going home, accidentally (or not) forgetting hubby back at the mall!


More avocado art …

Monday-avacadoRemember a few weeks ago when I posted the above picture of an avocado that had been intricately carved into a thing of beauty?  Well now comes this …

Monday-avocado-pitThe story is that Jan Campbell was preparing an avocado for lunch one day when she was struck by the beauty of the pit inside. After weeks of pondering its potential (people really have time to spend weeks pondering an avocado pit???), a deeply pigmented surface scratch inspired her to carve away its layers until a beautiful piece of art appeared.

Ever since that day, the Irish artisan has been turning avocado pits (or ‘stones,’ as she calls them) into tiny, intricately detailed figurines inspired by Celtic folklore. She carves the tranquil faces of forest spirits, the flowing hair of ancient goddesses, and even a handful of wild mushrooms now and then.

Though I mock, I must admit that this is actually pretty, and will certainly last longer than the carving done from the fruit itself.  Yes, the avocado is technically a fruit, and even more specifically, a single-seeded berry. Who knew?

You can view more of Jan’s carvings , but I warn you … the one pictured above goes for €111.00, or about $127 USD, so don’t become too attached!

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Friends …

Kathryn Ryckman of Boerne, Texas posted two videos of friends, Maizey, a 10-year-old Labrador Retriever, and Bailey, a horse of unknown age.  The two are long-time friends, as you will see in these two short clips:


Let us wrap it up with a few more of those funny signs …

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174 km is about 108 miles … very helpful in case of emergency!

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Sorry folks, I just couldn’t resist …


Okay, folks … I am sorry to tell you this, but it is that time, once again.  Awwww …. don’t look so sad … be thankful that at least you are not having to don coats, hats and gloves to go out and shovel the drive … well, except for my friends in Australia, where it is now winter.  I hope everyone has a wonderful week … try not to let things get you down this week … remember that there is always something, usually many things to be thankful for.  Keep smiling, and keep sharing the smiles … keep safe and have a great week!

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Bring It On, Monday!

Monday-flutter-birdGood Monday Morning, fellow travelers!  I hope that you had a restful weekend and are ready to jump back into the fray of madness this morning! I was more than ready to write something light and humorous this morning, so I was happy to find a number of fun stories filling my inbox and postie-notes.

So, pull up a coffee and grab some chair … no wait … grab some coffee and pull up a chair … and let us try to find something to laugh about before we must set out and face the cold, cruel world. Although I’m sure mine aren’t as good as Mary’s, I made scones, so help yourself!  Oh … and Hugh … I splurged and got you a little extra treat …


When this story first caught my eye, I was sure it was going to be about somebody having thrown their alarm clock into the wall, and I thought it would be a perfect way to lead on a Jolly Monday post.  Turns out, the story isn’t quite … what bird??? … what I first thought, but still funny.

Monday-alarmBack in 2004 in a community outside of Pittsburgh, homeowner Jerry Lynn was attempting to do some home repairs. Part of his plan was to drill a hole in the living room wall to install a television … I am assuming one of those wall-mount, flat-screen things.  Well, he got a smart idea to tie a battery-operated alarm clock to a string and lower it into the ductwork in order to determine where, precisely, to drill the hole.  I’m guessing he was seeking a wall stud, but I know from experience that there are better ways to locate a stud (no jokes here, please).  Anyway, as luck would have it, Jerry accidentally let go of the string and the clock dropped.

Presumably Jerry found another method for drilling his hole and mounting the television, while his long-suffering wife Sylvia went to Target and bought another alarm clock.  That evening at precisely 7:50 p.m., they heard a sound … the alarm clock stuck in the ductwork was ringing.  I don’t know why these people had their alarm set for evening … perhaps one or both work nights … but ring it did.  That evening … and the next … and the next.  For 13 years that clock has been ringing every evening at the same time!

Monday-Energizer-bunnyGiven that it was a battery operated clock, and did not even have an Energizer battery but merely a Rayovac, the Lynns were certain it would die within a few months.  WRONG!  After 13 years – 4,732 annoying rings – Jerry Lynn sought help (no, not psychiatric help, though in my opinion … ) and hired a professional heating & cooling company to extricate the clock.  I hear that Silvia dared Jerry to ever do home repairs again.  My solution would have been to tie a strong magnet onto a long pole, like perhaps a mop handle, and try to get the clock that way, but then … what do I know?  And I also wonder … why bother to pay to have it removed after 13 years?  Surely they were inured to it by then???


Monday-flutter-bird-2.gifI know little-to-nothing about boats.  I do have a funny personal story about one, though.  Many years ago when my husband was alive, I answered the phone to a man on the other end saying that he was calling about the boat we had advertised in the local paper.  Actually, we hadn’t and didn’t even own a boat, which I told him.  He said, “Are you sure?”  I said yes, I was quite sure, then he replied, rather belligerently, “Let me talk to your husband.” Either he thought I was lying, or too stupid (being a woman, y’know) to know if we owned a boat.  Sigh.  Anyway … here is the story I meant to tell you before I got side-tracked …

A 37-foot motorboat can cost up to … well, a lot of money.  I tried to do some quick and dirty research, but got so many varied estimates that I gave up.  The most expensive I saw was $499,000.  So why would you buy an expensive boat and leave it lying alongside the highway? what bird???

July 7 (UPI) – “Police in New Jersey are trying to figure out who abandoned a 37-foot boat at the side of a busy highway.

The South Brunswick Police Department tweeted a photo Thursday afternoon showing the boat, named Maraliya, at the side of Route 1, about 40 miles southwest of New York City.

Monday-boat.jpgThe police said the boat, labeled as being based out of Larchmont, N.Y., was at the side of the road for about five hours before being removed by officers.”

I wonder … if nobody claims the boat, do they raffle it off?  And shouldn’t a boat have something similar to the Vehicle Identification Number (VIN) on cars … perhaps a BIN?  And … was the boat abandoned because it was used in the commission of a crime?  So many questions …


And speaking of things found alongside the road … what would you surmise about a wedding dress left on a road named Bridle Road?  It’s true … I swear to you I don’t make this stuff up!

Monday-wedding-dressEventually an unnamed woman came forward to claim the dress, saying it had fallen out of her vehicle.  Now, there is something fishy going on here.  First, as you are driving along, how does an article of clothing just “fall” out of your car.  And a wedding dress?  And the name of the road … Bridle Road.  Sure, Bridle sounds just like ‘bridal’, but I’m more along the lines of thinking ‘bridle’, as in ‘reined in’, controlled …

And then there is what she did with the dress after she recovered it from the police … she took it to a consignment shop!  Trust me here … this lady does NOT plan to get married any time soon!Monday-flutter-bird-3


Spike is his name; art is his game. Spike is six months old and lives in Japan with his girl Mandy, where he creates works of art.  Spike is a … er … um … stag beetle.  Mandy also has three other stag beetles as pets:  Sally, Julius and Cleo. (Two males & two females … I have to ask … how does one determine the gender of a beetle???) In Japan, cats and dogs are less popular as pets, because of limited living space, so most kids have somewhat smaller friends for those moments when they need something with which to … snuggle.  Says Mandy, “Like any small pet, they’re not affectionate, but they’re very fun to watch, especially docus species. If you are careful you can handle them, although some species are more aggressive than others.”

Spike’s art went viral about a week ago when he got his own Twitter and Instagram accounts, where he exhibits his artwork.  Mandy is planning to auction his paintings, with 15% of the proceeds from that auction going toward “stag conservation.” When Mandy, an English teacher, put a few of Spike’s drawings on Ebay, the top bid was $150!  Not bad for a little guy … you can buy a lotta bananas, Spike’s favourite food, with $150!


And on that note …what bird??? …  it is time to rinse out the cups, put on the ties and let’s all get out and find somebody to share a smile with!  I challenge you today to give out three unsolicited smiles!  Keep safe and have a great week!  Hugs ‘n love from Filosofa!

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It’s … A … Monday … SO SMILE!!!

Welcome to Monday once again!  Some of you in the U.S. are probably on holiday from work, due to the Independence Day holiday tomorrow.  Others, like my daughter, had to drag yourselves out of bed bright and early to go to work.  Either way, though, never fear for Filosofa is HERE … working away at the task of bringing a few smiles and a chuckle into your Monday morning!  So sit down here for a few minutes and give yourself a break, lighten up and think of happy things, then take a smile on your way out to share with others!


I have written a few posts about self-driving cars:

Well, it looks as if I wrote about this several times! Those who have read my posts are aware that I am not a big fan of this concept, thinking of them as a disaster-looking-for-a-place-to-happen.  That said, I am also not a big fan of ‘driving humans’, as they are prone to distractions, carelessness, and just plain ol’ stupidity.  Like the lady who broadsided me in a parking lot a few years ago.  “Oh … I’m so sorry … I was talking to my husband on the phone and forgot to look left!”  Or the one who rear-ended me a few years before that because we were stopped at a red light, she was putting on her mascara, and just hit the gas before the light turned green.  Sigh.  Self-driving cars may ultimately be the solution, much as I hate to admit it.  But I do not think the technology is good enough just yet, and I for one am not ready.  This is especially true in light of this headline in the Guardian:

Volvo Admits Its Self-Driving Cars Are Confused By Kangaroos 

Monday-kangaroo.jpgUm … okay … well, I cannot remember the last time a kangaroo crossed my path on a street or highway.  But wait!  Perhaps in Australia???  According to the article:

“Volvo’s self-driving car is unable to detect kangaroos because hopping confounds its systems, the Swedish carmaker says.

The company’s “Large Animal Detection system” can identify and avoid deer, elk and caribou, but early testing in Australia shows it cannot adjust to the kangaroo’s unique method of movement.

Kangaroos cause more accidents than any other animal in Australia – the marsupials are responsible for about 90% of collisions between vehicles and animals – although most are not serious.”

Volvo plans to unleash … errrr … make available it’s self-driving cars in 2020.  Hold on to your hats, folks … and watch out for the bloomin’ kangaroos!


The Cereal Wars

Meanwhile, in neighboring New Zealand, there is a cereal war brewing.  Yes, you heard right … nooooo, not a ‘serial’ war, but a ‘cereal’ war.  Cereal … the stuff some of you eat for breakfast, or if you’re like H, breakfast AND dinner!  Here’s what happened …

Customs officers in New Zealand have seized and impounded hundreds of boxes of the breakfast cereal Weetabix after complaints by rival cereal giant Weet-Bix that it could confuse customers. The pallet of Weetabix – about 300 boxes – arrived in a container load of British goods last week, destined for the shelves of A Little Bit of Britain grocery store in Christchurch, which largely caters to British expats. But New Zealand customs officials detained the pallet at the request of Sanitarium, which claimed the cereal infringed its trademark cereal Weet-Bix, which is a staple in many New Zealand homes.

Sanitarium sent a letter to Lisa Wilson, the co-owner of A Little Bit of Britain, saying it would release her cereal shipment if she placed a sticker over the offending Weetabix label once the item was on her shelves, and blanked out the name Weetabix when she sold the cereal on line. Other British stores in the North Island have complied with Sanitarium’s demands, but Wilson has decided to fight the company, which she accuses of “bullying” her small, family-run business.

Monday-Lisa Wilson“They [Sanitarium] walk in and slap an agreement down and it is quite daunting for a very small business … they are trying to bully the small guys. They are trying to force us to do what they want because they are a multi million-dollar company, but we are not willing to bow to Sanitarium’s demands as we don’t believe there is a case of trademark infringement here and we are standing up for that principle.”

And soooo … Ms. Wilson must sell a lot of Weetabix in order to put up such a fight, eh?  Oh yes … about seven (7) boxes per week!  Sometimes you just have to stand firm on principle. And though I do understand this, and I stand firm on principle often, I also adhere to the motto “pick your battles”.  ‘Nuff said.


Run, potty, run … 

In Moscow, you just never know what will happen next!  Last Friday, heavy rains and strong winds combined to send port-a-potties sliding down the street, chasing pedestrians.  People were scurrying to get out of the way of the toilets!  See video clip here!


I debated about using this next one, so I consulted the family … they both agreed that it was funny, even though as a rule we would not find much humour in a man getting run over by a bus!  But what made this particular video so funny is that the man, Simon Smith of Reading, England, was apparently heading for the local pub.  The bus comes around the corner and … well, just watch the clip …

 

The man was unhurt and simply proceeded to enter the pub … I hope the bartender gave him one on the house!


Monday-cop-carIn Hialeah, Florida, 46-year-old Milton Morales-Perez, in what appeared to be a routine traffic stop, pulled up next to a black Ford Taurus, flashed his badge, and motioned the driver to pull over.  Kenia Fallat did just that, but continued talking on her cell phone, even after Perez instructed her to hang up the phone and turn off the motor.

Ms. Fallat, you see, is an actual Miami Police Department official and was in full uniform at the time.  Apparently Perez wasn’t quite bright enough to put 2 + 2 together in time, Fallat called for backup, and Morales-Perez was arrested.  Turns out his was a security guard, hence the badge.  When asked why he thought it was a good idea to impersonate a police officer, he said only, “she was on the phone, and it is very dangerous to be on the phone while driving.”


'Yes, I know we're hyenas - but sometimes I just don't feel like laughing, Kate.'Alright folks … I sense that my attempts at humour may have fallen a bit flat today … that has been happening a lot lately … and I apologize, but I hope you at least grinned once or twice.  If not, I shall just have to double up on the funny-quotient next week, eh?  How about a few cartoons to send you on your way … and take a smile from the basket … I got them just for you to take and to share!  Have a safe and fun holiday tomorrow, and a great week!  Hugs ‘n love from Filosofa!Monday-basket-smiles


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'When I said getting more sleep would help reduce stress I meant AT HOME!''The chicks can't sleep...have you been telling them Colonel Sanders horror stories again?'

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This Monday Morning Is Brought To You By … Eeyore!

I am on hiatus until tomorrow, but did not want to disappoint all of you who depend on my Jolly Monday posts to get your week off to a start with a smile.  So, I am reposting this from last June … it is one of the better ones, I think.  I hope it brings a glimmer of a smile to your face and that you share that smile with others.  Hugs and love to you all!

Note to readers:  As you all know by now, my hiatus did not pan out, but I am leaving this re-post for two reasons:  1) it was a pretty good one, and 2) I am lazy today.  I promise fresh jolly material next Monday, however!

Grounded

It was the moment that every parent dreads, hopes never to have happen.  That moment when you find unidentified pills in your teenager’s room.  What do you do?  Do you confront him/her?  How do you handle the situation?  Honest conversation or punishment?  Well, 16-year-old Ashley Banks forgot her calculator on the day she was scheduled to take the SAT test, so she sent a text message to her mom asking her to get the calculator from her room and leave it in the mailbox so she could pick it up on her way. In the process, her mother found some strange pills and did what most of us would probably have done … she panicked and sent the following message back to Ashley:

“Ashley Carol I will not have drugs in my house. Come home right now. As soon as your dad comes home from California we will discuss your consequences.  As for now [you’re] grounded and you will not be leaving the house, come home this instant.” 

Imagine mom’s surprise when Ashley’s response was a couple of laughing emojis followed by “go put them in water.”  Mom put the ‘pills’ in water and …. Well, you can see the results for yourself in the picture.  Needless to say, mom had some egg on her face!

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It rather reminds me of the time my late mother-in-law found marijuana in her grandson’s dresser drawer!  She decided to destroy it, so she took it outside to a container she used to burn paper and set it afire.  Wanting to be certain it all burned up, she stood right over the container and after a few minutes of inhaling the smoke, she was higher than a kite!


Blind Cat Hikes Highest Peak in Ireland

Spooky, our oldest cat, died in March.  He was blind, and as such was sometimes quite a challenge to take care of.  He turned food and water dishes over more often than he actually ate or drank from them, had to be carried to the litter box, and in general required at least ten times as much time and effort as any of the others.  We did this without complaint (mostly), however, as he was quite old, we had him since he was just a few weeks old, and he had given us many years of love and joy.  But I cannot picture hiking up a mountain with him.  So you can imagine my surprise when I heard of Stevie, the blind cat who shares her home and life with her human companion, Patrick Corr, hiking!  Not just hiking, but hiking to the top of Carrauntoohil, Ireland’s highest peak (3,406 feet)!  Stevie mostly walks with a harness and leash, though she (yes, Stevie is a girl) is allowed briefly off the leash on occasion.  And Patrick carries her on his shoulder or in a carrier where the terrain is rocky.   You can check out the short (3+ mins) video here (video will open in separate tab)

stevie“Her comfort was our number one priority,” says Corr.  “Stevie was only allowed to walk on the path leading to the base and during the climb itself, she was free to walk wherever there was a soft surface – any section of the mountainside that was too rocky, she was carried on my shoulder and via a cat carrier bag that we had specially for the trip.”  The pair also took “lots of breaks” and he made sure Stevie always had access to food and water. The climb up and down the peak took between five and six hours.  Great job Stevie!  Oh, and you too, Patrick!


Hope For Hope

hopeLakeland, Florida Police Officer Kareem Garibaldi had worked a 12-hour shift, was tired and just wanted to go home.  When he reached his car, however, he found Hope, a small stray puppy under the car.  Officer Garibaldi took Hope home, and after three days of caring for her and trying to find her owners, he decided to take her to the SPCA for a health check.  This picture was snapped of both Officer Garibaldi and Hope snoozing, while waiting to be seen by the vet.  This photo went viral on social media, though sadly some had negative responses, saying that the officer was merely trying to get attention for himself, but most of the 234 comments on Facebook were very positive.  The best part?  Hope now has a ‘forever home’ with Officer G!  Hats off to Officer Kareem Garibaldi for compassion and humanity!


 

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It’s Another Jolly Monday!!!!

Good Monday morning, dear friends … thanks for dropping by!  As I promised last week, I have fresh-baked cinnamon rolls for you today!

Monday-cinnamon-rollsI hope you all enjoyed your weekend!  It was hot here … hot and humid.  Those of you who are fathers, I hope your family spoiled you with special love and treats yesterday … Happy Belated Father’s Day!

Now grab your coffee and a cinnamon roll and let’s have a few chuckles together before you head out into the frozen tundra to make your way to work.  Oh wait … it is the middle of June … no frozen tundra here, although my friends in Australia may be seeing some!

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Monday-beerWe all know that the Germans like their beer, right?  What would a German festival be without beer?  So, it’s never too early to start preparing for the Wacken Open Air (WOA) hard rock festival, which kicks off in northern Germany in August. Good planning is the key to a successful festival, and the Germans are on top of this one.  They are building a 4-mile (7 km) pipeline that will deliver a glass of beer per second!  While oil pipelines have been the topic of much controversy in recent years, I am betting this pipeline will have no naysayers!

Monday-beer-pipelineThe WOA festival runs August 3-5, in case any of you are interested in attending.  This year’s festival will feature such bands as Megadeth, Alice Cooper and Trivium, and is expected to draw a crowd of 75,000.  It is anticipated that each of those 75,000 will consume 5.1 litres (nine pints) of beer during the festival. Um … that’s a lot of beer!

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New sport … Pizza Acrobatics!  Yes, you’ve all seen how some experts in the making of pizza dough can toss the dough into the air, catch it on their fist and twirl it around, making it all seem so effortless?  Well, I can tell you from personal experience (read, failure) that it is NOT as easy as they make it look!  I have tried this a few times and most often my efforts end up either splattered on my face or else on the floor.  But …

Every year in Las Vegas, pizza acrobats from across the globe convene to compete in the star-studded World Pizza Games. A subset of the city’s annual Pizza Expo, the games showcase athletes, many of whom are also chefs, as they take dough to new heights. (There’s a similar competition—known as the World Pizza Championships—in Italy each year.)

World Pizza Champion Tony Gemignani currently holds the record for most consecutive across-the-shoulder rolls of pizza dough in 30 seconds with 37 rolls. During the competition, the acrobats perform a variety of tricks for a small panel of judges. For two to three minutes, as a song plays in the background, they toss their dough into the air as they jump, spin, and do cartwheels.

Check out this video of Tony Gemignani … you will be AMAZED!


What do you do if you’ve been out with friends and had just a wee bit too much … er … fun?  Your car is parked in a metred lot, and yet you know it isn’t a good idea for you to drive, but how much of a fine might your car wrack up over night?  Well, here is what one person in Wausau, Wisconsin did:

Monday-note-on-carHe or she left the above hand-written sign on the window of the car, saying:

“Please take pity on me. I walked home… safe choices!” And she (or he, but I’m thinking it was a ‘she’) drew a little smiley on the bottom.

It worked!  Officer Jim Hellrood did take pity on her and left his own note on the car, reading: “Pity granted, just a warning.”  Remember this for future reference, folks!


Short question:  what would you think of pizza-flavoured ice cream?  Yeah, that was what I thought too.  Little Baby’s Ice Cream in the Fishtown neighborhood of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, created the pizza ice cream flavour, as an homage to Pizza Brain, a museum located near the shop, and the flavour has been a hit with patrons. It contains crushed tomatoes, salt, crushed red pepper, oregano, raw garlic paste, and basil.

Monday-pizza-ice creamTurns out that Little Baby’s may not be the first to come up with the idea, however, as I found an article from 2015 reporting that: “Coolhaus—which has ice cream trucks in Southern California, New York, and Dallas, as well as two brick-and-mortar locations in the Los Angeles area—has up and decided to go there and interpret the salty, greasy wonder known as pizza into a frozen dessert.”  Interestingly, I also learned that Coolhaus has ‘Whiskey Lucky Charms Ice Cream Sandwiches’.

Monday-pizza-ice cream-2I have been told that I do not have an adventurous palate, and it must be true, because neither the pizza-flavoured ice cream, nor the Whiskey Lucky Charms Ice Cream Sandwiches hold any appeal for my boring palate.

 


Monday-math-signThis sign was seen at a deli in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  Gotta wonder what happened that led to the need for this sign?  Some humorous speculations:

“Perhaps they thought those conversations were getting too irrational?”

“Some of them got downright complex.”

“You’ve gotta ask!!! I’m imagining fisticuffs over fibonaci or something like that.”


Joke of the Week:

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.

“If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades,” boasts Gates, “you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50.”

“Sure,” says the GM chairman. “But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?”


Well, friends, I’ve enjoyed our Monday morning together, and I do hope I’ve given you at least a little bit of a smile with which to start your week.  I hope you all have a really great week, and that you share your gorgeous smile with a few others!  A smile is a funny thing … it has a domino effect and yet, no matter how many you share, there is always at least one left.  Keep safe and keep smiling!  Hugs and love from Filosofa!

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zzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzz … MONDAY???? Already???

Wha … huh … OH!  If you’re here already, I must’ve overslept!  Hold on just a minute … somebody hand me my glasses, please?  So sorry about that, but I’ve been keeping some pretty late hours lately.  So … this must mean it’s Monday, right?  Okay … Monday, Monday … can’t trust that day … rainy days and Mondays … YAWWWWNNN.  I’m afraid I didn’t bake any cinnamon rolls this morning, but I’ll have the coffee up in two shakes of a lamb’s tail …

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There we go … that’s better, isn’t it?  What, Hugh?  Oh yes … just a sec …

Monday-wine

Now, are we all set and ready to get this week off to a start with a bit of humour?  Who said that my bedhead was humorous enough???  Might have known it would be you, Jack … alright … here we go … prepare to chuckle or at least give me a smile …


When you go to a restaurant what is your favourite thing to order?  For me, it depends on the restaurant, but generally it is some sort of fish … either batter-fried cod, or salmon, or sometimes shrimp-fried-rice.  So, say you order salmon with a side salad and perhaps some rice pilaf, but when the server returns with you food in 20 minutes or so, she brings you fried chicken tenders and fries.  What do you do?  Send it back, or keep it and be satisfied?  Well, at The Restaurant of Order Mistakes (yes, that is its real name), you should be prepared to get something other than what you ordered!  The restaurant is in Tokyo’s Toyosu district, and its mission is to hire servers with dementia.

Monday-restaurantThe restaurant is what is called a ‘pop-up’ restaurant – one that is temporary for anywhere from a few days to a few months.  This particular one was located inside Maggie’s Tokyo, the Japanese version of the UK’s Maggie’s Centers, which are support centers for cancer patients and their families. The pop-up lasted for three days, and another is planned in September for World Alzheimer’s Day. I think it is a great and fun idea, and I would love to try it once … assuming, that is, that there are no utterly disgusting things on the menu that I might inadvertently get stuck with, like eel, snake eggs, or snails!  Yes, I have a non-adventurous palate.


I am not sure if this gal just really, really wanted a drink, or if she had already had a tad too much and was just another obnoxious customer, but she sure as heck busted up the liquor store!  She strutted into a Southern California liquor store Monday and refused to go quietly, leaving behind aisles of shattered bottles that were knocked from shelves in a spirited encounter with an enforcement officer.  The damage is estimated at about $500, mostly champagne … the dame has expensive tastes.

Monday-peahenOh, and did I happen to mention that the customer in question was a … peahen?  (In case you don’t know, that is the female version of a peacock.)  Store manager Rani Ghanem was unaware of the peahen until a customer said, “Hey, uh, you have a bird inside your store.”  Rani deals with birds on a daily basis, but usually his encounters are limited to Wild Turkey and Grey Goose, so he was a bit unsure what to do, especially when the bird swooped right over his head!  So, he called the Pasadena Humane Society and SPCA, and an animal control officer arrived shortly.  What ensued was a 6 minute struggle between man and beast … er … bird … but eventually the man won.  The peahen was last heard singing, “♫ I fought the law ♪ and the law won ♫” as she was carried out the door.  Yep, I believe she had a bit too much of the bubbly! You can watch the struggle between man and bird here.


Ever hear of a police officer being fired for being too friendly?  Well, such was the fate of Gavel, a German Shephard who was attending the police academy in Queensland, Australia.  See, Gavel much preferred getting belly rubs and tickles to tackling hardened criminals.  Police in Australia felt he “did not display the necessary aptitude for a life on the front line”.

Monday-GavelNow, in government jobs, as we are all well aware, it isn’t so much what you know as who you know.  Turns out that Gavel knew people in high places, for he had been fostered at the official residence of the Queensland governor since he was six weeks old. So when the governor heard that poor Gavel was facing a lifetime of unemployment, he gave him a job … a much cushier job than chasing criminals, as it happens.  Gavel is now the official greeter and public relations canine at the Queensland’s Government House.  He welcomes guests, helps guide tours, and participates in ceremonial occasions.  Plus … he gets a really cool uniform to wear with the state emblems of Queensland.  And fringe benefits?  All the snuggles, belly rubs and tickles he can handle!  Way to go, Gavel!!!

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Gavel with the Governor … Gov & Gav


In April, one of my ‘Jolly Monday’ posts included two stories about strange museums, an Ice Cream Museum and the Museum of Failures. Today I bring you another oddish museum, the Museum of Moist Towelettes.

Monday-museumHoused in the planetarium of the University of Michigan, the display features moist towelettes from all over the globe, all but one unopened.  The one that has been opened has historic value … it was used by Tom and Ray … you know, the car guys? Tom and Ray Magliozzi, the hosts of the radio program Car Talk. I used to read their column faithfully.  Other ‘interesting’ specimens include one called “Finger Pinkies,” which is advertised as “the secretary’s hand cleaner,” a few from the Hard Rock Cafés in Beijing and Kuala Lumpur, and a series with Star Trek-themed packaging from the show’s original run.

The display is said to be the least visited on campus … um gee, I wonder why?


Joke of the week:

laugh ani2A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?” She leaned over the counter and said, “Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.”


Sigh.  Is it over already?  Do you have to go?  Couldn’t you just stay for an hour or so?  Sigh … okay, go if you must.  I’ve so enjoyed having you, and next Monday I promise to be awake, perky and have hot cinnamon rolls fresh out of the oven!  I hope your week is good, that you don’t face any major crises, and that nobody switches the buttons on your telephone!  Keep safe, my dear friends, and remember to share that beautiful smile!!!

Monday-avacado

Somebody actually carved this avocado.  Pretty, but …. why???

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And speaking of Simon & Garfunkel …

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