I have so many posts started, but my motivation is low tonight, so I thought probably it’s time to step away from separation of church and state, from Kevin McCarthy & Jim (Gym) Jordan, from transgender issues, and just have some humour for this Saturday morning! So, I have a double treat … some fun jokes from Bored Panda that they refer to as Nature Jokes That Do Not Grow On Trees … and also some fun/cute/interesting wildlife photos from The Guardian’s “The Week in Wildlife”.
First, the jokes (some truly groan-worthy one-and-two-liners) …
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
Lion: “You’re late. We said meet at sunset.”
Giraffe: “I can still see the sun.”
How can you tell the ocean is friendly?
“Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will spend a fortune on gear he will only use twice a year.”
“What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?”
“Finding half of a worm.”
How do you properly identify a dogwood tree?
By its bark.
Why do fish swim in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What did the Jedi say to the tree?
“May the forest be with you.”
What is the best way to learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest?
Check out their web site!
How can you get down from a tree?
You can’t because down comes from a duck.
“Beaver 1: “Sir, the river is running at full capacity with no obstruction!””
“Beaver 2: “Dammit!””
Okay … ‘nuff of that! You can find the rest of them at Bored Panda’s website, if you so desire!
And now for some gorgeous wildlife photos, courtesy of The Guardian …
A cheetah rests in a reserve in north-west South Africa. Illegal poaching, drought, depletion of water resources and the destruction of habitats have negatively affected the lives of animals in this nature reserve Photograph: Anadolu Agency/Getty
Langur monkeys in a deer park in Pushkar, India Photograph: Anadolu Agency/Getty
A wild elephant eats water hyacinths in a wetlands in the Burapahar range of Kaziranga national park in Assam, India Photograph: Anuwar Hazarika/NurPhoto/Rex/Shutterstock
Pelicans swim in a lake in Guangzhou, China Photograph: Anadolu Agency/Getty
The Ghost of the Rocks. A red crab (Grapsus adscensionis) on La Gomera, one of Spain’s Canary Islands. The gold winner in the behaviour – invertebrates category in the World Nature Photography awards 2022. See more of the winners in our gallery Photograph: Javier Herranz Casellas/World Nature Photography Awards 2022
Snow Leopard in the Indian Himalayas. The gold winner in the animals in their habitats category in the World Nature Photography awards 2022 Photograph: Sascha Fonseca/World Nature Photography Awards 2022
A bee sips nectar from an almond flower at Badamwari park on a sunny spring day in Srinagar, India Photograph: Adil Abbas/Zuma Press Wire/Rex/Shutterstock
A bird perches on a branch of fully bloomed early flowering cherry blossoms on a river bank in Tokyo, Japan Photograph: Yoshio Tsunoda/Aflo/Rex/Shutterstock
A Texas zoo said it had taken back an 8ft alligator which was stolen as an egg more than 20 years ago, then kept as a backyard pet. A Texas parks and wildlife spokesperson said a game warden found the animal, named Tewa, during an unrelated investigation in Caldwell county last month. Photograph: The Guardian
A lioness in one of the world’s rarest lion populations has given birth to three cubs in Niokolo-Koba national park in Senegal. West African lions have almost completely disappeared. Scientists believe between 120 and 374 remain in the wild Photograph: Panthera/DPN/Everatt
A double-crested cormorant struggles to eat a catfish in a pond along the fifth hole during a practice round for the Players Championship golf tournament at TPC Sawgrass in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida Photograph: Erik S Lesser/EPA
Two very wet storks sit on their nest in the Hessian Ried in Biebesheim am Rhein, Germany. Despite the adverse weather, the imposing migratory birds have already occupied their nests and begun courtship Photograph: Boris Roessler/AP
A Sri Lankan kangaroo lizard (Otocryptis wiegmanni) in Eheliyagoda, Sri Lanka. The brown-patched kangaroo lizard, Sri Lankan kangaroo lizard, or Wiegmann’s agama, is a small, ground-dwelling agamid endemic to Sri Lanka Photograph: Thilina Kaluthotage/NurPhoto/Rex/Shutterstock
Well, folks, I hope this has started your weekend with a smile or two, and I’ll be back later today with my usual snark! Have a great weekend ahead and … do something fun!