Jolly Hot Monday!

Good Monday morning, friends, and welcome!  Just put your coats over there on the … oh wait … it’s 90° out, so you’re not wearing coats, are you?  So, how was your weekend?  Those of you on this side of the pond were hot, I know, but our friends across the pond are having much cooler temps!  I’m thinking next Saturday, perhaps we should fire up the Filomobile and go visit them, for there is no relief in sight this month from the searing temps and high humidity here.

I’ve set out a few snacks … since it’s so hot, I thought some fresh fruit and veggies were called for, but remember, the donut and juice box are for Benjamin!  I made a fresh pot o’ coffee, and brewed some fresh tea, so grab some and let’s try to get this week started with something fun!


Four-legged long jump!

Occasionally I include somebody or some group of bodies that have made their way into the Guinness World Records, but until now, those have always been of the human species.  Yesterday, a unique bit crossed my radar when I read that a pooch had actually earned a Guinness record!  The dog’s name is Slingshot, and he earned the record by leaping 35 feet and 3 inches from a dock into the water.  Not only that, but Slingshot managed to set 12 world records in the sport of dock diving in the 2018 season, though this one is his first entry into the Guinness book.

Now, since this was the first time I had heard of a non-human in the Guinness record book, I took a quick look to see if there had been others.  There have.  From ‘fastest tortoise’ to ‘oldest manatee’ to ‘tallest cow’, animals are a class all their own within Guinness!  Even one for the world’s ‘loudest purring cat’ …

Who knew?


Flying in your hotel room?

Those of you who work, or have worked, in the business world and have had to travel from time-to-time, know how boring those hotel rooms can be.  Well, if you happen to travel to Tokyo on business, try to arrange to stay at the Haneda Excel Hotel Tokyu, located near Tokyo’s Haneda International Airport, and ask for a room with a … flight simulator!

That’s right, folks, a flight simulator. Tokyo-hotel-offering-room-with-a-flight-simulator.jpgYou’re sitting in your room, dinner is done, nothing to do until morning … but didn’t you always dream of being a pilot, flying through the friendly skies, bringing that 747 in for a perfect, three-point landing?

I hope, though, that you are one of those highly-paid executives, for the room costs $234 for a one-night stay, but a 90-minute flight simulator session with an expert costs an additional $277.  Oh, and one other small detail … guests staying in the room are not allowed to use the simulator without supervision.


Pot Cake?

Kensli Davis of Milledgeville, Georgia, celebrated her 25th birthday last week.  She told her mother she would like a cake decorated like a certain Disney character named ‘Moana’.  So, the mother ordered just that, a Moana ice cream cake, from the local Dairy Queen bakery.

Imagine her surprise, when she picked up this cake …moana-cake.jpg

According to Kensli, when she walked into the house, her mother was laughing hysterically …

“My mama called and ordered me a cake telling them how much I loved Moana. (Because really I do) Well needless to say these people thought she said marijuana. That ice cream cake was still good though. The whole family thought it was the funniest thing ever and said it would definitely be a birthday to remember.”

On a not-so-jolly note, The Hill reports that Cassandra Walker, the Dairy Queen employee who made the cake, was terminated, even though it was her manager who actually misunderstood the order, and approved the design.


A fool and his money are soon parted …

Take a look at this bunch of grapes …grapesLook pretty nice, eh … plump, probably juicy & sweet.  There are 24 grapes in that bunch.  Now, remember that grapes don’t have a very long shelf life … probably a week, tops.  What would you be willing to pay for that li’l bunch of 24 grapes?  Me?  Oh, I’d likely pay 50 cents, maybe.  But guess what this little bunch of grapes went for last week in Kanazawa, Japan?

Was it W.C. Fields, or P.T. Barnum who said, “There’s a sucker born every minute”?

The grapes were sold at auction to Takashi Hosokawa, manager of a chain of hot spring hotels in Ishikawa Prefecture, on the northern coast of the main Honshu island.  For $11,000.  That’s $459 per grape.  Sigh.  Sometimes people have more money than sense.


I try to include a cute animal video every Monday, and today’s, I think, will make you smile and warm your heart.  Take a look at this little guy who was born with no front legs …


And that’s all we’ve got time for today, folks!  Jolly found something he wants to share with you, though I tried to talk him into waiting until the winter holidays, but … well, Jolly can be stubborn, y’know (it’s a male thing, but don’t tell him I said so).

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Please, my friends, share those beautiful smiles I see on your faces, for there’s a lot to be frustrated about these days, and sometimes just a smile can ease the angst.  Keep cool and have a great week ahead!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!

Jolly Monday … Only Jolly Is AWOL!!!

Welcome friends … it’s Monday … again.  Sigh.  Jolly is not here … the fireworks on Thursday … and Friday … and Saturday nights frightened him so badly that he has gone.  But not to worry, I have had a call from a friend who lives out in the country saying that Jolly is with her and she will send him home as soon as the #@$%? idiots here in da hood learn a little respect … or run out of firecrackers.  So, I will do my best to entertain and find something to start your week off with a smile, but I make no promises, for my own mood is sour at the moment.  Perhaps I can make my ownself laugh?

Last week, I had several comments about the level of sugar in the treats I put out, so I promised that this week would be a fruity one!  There is an exception, however, for young Benjamin who is counting on his sprinkled donut … don’t anybody else so much as look at Benjamin’s donut!  Now grab a cuppa and a piece of fruit, and let’s go in search of a bit of humour, shall we?


The Canadians have a flair for things.  On the last weekend of June, some 3,942 Canadians got together in the Canadian town of Trenton, Ontario, and made a maple leaf.  Confused?  Just watch …

Why?  It was to capture the Guinness record for largest human maple leaf.  Who knew such a record even existed?  Organizers said they were hoping to break the record with 5,000 people, but the 3,942 participants were enough to beat the previous record of 1,589 people, set in 2017 in Grouse Mountain, British Columbia.

Lest you think it was just a bit of fun without a purpose, the event was aimed at raising awareness of Solider On, a program that helps veterans and active duty military personnel participate in sports as part of therapy for permanent physical injuries and mental illness.  So, all in good fun and for a good cause!


Now, speaking of Guinness world records and such, some things are just too ridiculous.  Like this one … David Rush said he trained for three years and three months before attempting to break his own previous record.  Record for what?  For balancing a running lawnmower on his chin.  Um … yeah.  His previous record was 3 minutes and 1 second, and this time ‘round he managed 3 minutes and 52 seconds.  Take a look, if you must …

It occurs to me that some people just have too much time on their hands!  And please, friends, don’t any of you get the brilliant idea to try to beat Mr. Rush’ record, okay?


You guys remember Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, right?  Take a look at this pic …

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Pretty cool, don’t you think?


Since my sense of humour is

{knock, knock, knock}

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Just a second folks … let me see who’s at the … JOLLY!!!!

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Oh Jolly, I am soooo glad to see you, for I’m falling flat on my face here … go grab something to eat, then come help me with some jokes or something …

Hey everyone!  Jolly’s back … meanwhile, I found some funny signs that I thought you might enjoy …

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Must be some potholes!

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So, Jolly has some jokes he dug up for you guys … Jolly?

Q: Knock! Knock!

A: Who’s there?

Q: Scold.

A: Scold who?

Q: Scold outside, let me in!

 

Q: Knock, knock.
A: Who’s there?
Q: Wooden shoe.
A: Wooden shoe, who?
Q: Wooden shoe like to know!

 

Q: Knock, knock!
A: Who’s there?
Q: Wire.
A: Wire who?

Q: Wire you always asking ‘who’s there’?

 Okay, Jolly … that’s really good, but I think you need to go lie down for a while, for you’ve been out all night. Say g’nite to our friends …


And now, before I say g’nite to our friends, how about this funny bear video?


And now, I must bid you adieu.  Please don’t forget to share a smile and a kind word as you go about your week.  Keep safe and have a wonderful week!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and the sleeping Jolly!Maxine

Good People Doing Good Things — Little Things Mean A Lot

I started this post early last evening, and I had picked out several good people, the plan being to highlight each with a brief ‘snippet’.  I spent nearly an hour on the first one, as I was having a hard time staying focused, and then something in my head kept saying it seemed familiar.  It was … I had written about the Little Free Library way back in 2018.   😔  So, then I decided that some of the half dozen people I had selected for this morning’s post didn’t really interest me all that much (I told you, my focus is not working well).  Which leaves me with just two for today.  But hey … two good people snippets is still better than nothing, yes?  Annnnnd … there’s a fun bonus at the end!


Divers In, Trash Out

I’m always seeing stories about people trying to set a Guinness World record for one thing or another.  Sometimes I include them in my Jolly Monday posts, for they are so silly that one must laugh.  Today, though, I am including one in my Wednesday ‘good people’ post, for these guys are trying to set a record for doing something to help us all!

It happened down in Deerfield Beach, Florida, where 633 scuba divers got together to clean up a section of the ocean.  The previous record was 614 in a dive organized in the Red Sea in Egypt in 2015.  A Guinness official, Michael Empric, flew in from Florida to verify the count and watch the operation.  Each diver had to stay in the water  for at least 15 minutes to be counted.

One of the divers was 13-year-old Dahlia Bolin.  She and her mother Rebecca came all the way from Mackinaw, Illinois, to help set the record, and pick up debris.  She recovered a white, metal sign with red lettering that warned: Boats Must Not Come Within 100 Yards of Pier.

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Dahlia Bolin (center) with her mother (left) and another diver

The event was organized by Dixie Divers and the Woman’s Club of Deerfield Beach and included divers from across the United States, along with Europe and South America.  The divers retrieved 9,000 items of marine debris, including 3,200 pounds of fishing gear, and 1,600 pounds of lead fishing weights alone, the result of years of anglers cutting bait.Divers.jpgGranted, it is but a drop in the bucket of waste in our oceans, but I have to give two thumbs up to these divers for doing their part to help clean up … and just imagine if this were done on every beach around the world, say once a month?  Great job, divers!  You earned that record!


Learning Respect and Compassion

This one was sent to me last week by our friend Scott Lawlor … thank you Scott!  Leaving Florida and heading over to New Mexico where Gino Perez teaches a wood and metal shop class at Valley High School in Albuquerque.  Mr. Perez teaches a skill, but also a life’s lesson to his young students as they learn to make handcrafted wooden urns adorned with the symbols of all the branches of the military to be used for the cremated remains of homeless and indigent veterans.  Says Perez …

“I wanted to make it real clear the status of these Americans — they’re mostly homeless and they were also veterans with full military honors and nobody claimed their bodies. I’ve never seen a group of students engage in a project like this. Even students that were down on the military for whatever reason — they’ve all got their politics — would say we’re doing a good thing.”

Perez-classPerez, who has been a teacher for four years and is a Navy veteran himself was looking for a way to get his students involved in the community, while learning about metal and woodworking.

The students’ work will be recognized Sept. 20 at an assembly that will include New Mexico Department of Veterans’ Services Secretary Jack Fox, Bernalillo County Commissioner Debbie O’Malley and Joshua McManigal of Daniels Family Funeral Services, who all partner in the Forgotten Heroes Burial Program.  The Forgotten Heroes Burial Program provides a full military funeral at Santa Fe National Cemetery if there are no family members or friends to claim their remains or there is no money to provide for their funeral services.

A good teacher and students who are learning to be good people.  Can’t ask for more than that, can you?


Never Too Old

This one isn’t really about a ‘good people’ helping others, but it’s a fun, uplifting story, and I think this lady deserves a spot here anyway.  Perhaps it’s about perseverance?

Meet Julia Hawkins, who just happens to have been on this earth for some 103 years.  Now, a lot of people slow down when they get older … I know this for a fact, for at 68 I have slowed down considerably!  But not Ms. Hawkins … she sped up considerably!  In fact, just last week, she ran both the 50-meter and the 100-meter dash races in the National Senior Games in Albuquerque, New Mexico! Julia-Hawkins.jpgTwo years ago, at the age of 101, Julia Hawkins set a record by running the 100-meter dash in just 39.62 seconds.  They called her the “Hurricane.”  This year, she had actually slowed down some, and was about 6 seconds slower on the 100-meter dash, but as she said …

“I’m two years older, remember?”

Ms. Hawkins got into running late in life, and it has become one of her many passions. She lives in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she takes daily walks and cares for trees on her property. She has four children, three grandchildren and one great-grandchild. She was married to her late husband, Murray, for 70 years, after they had a wedding by telephone during World War II.  Married 70 years … I told you it was perseverance!

Asked in a New York Times interview about her training regimen, she said …

“I run on the street by my house, occasionally, not often. As I get older, I feel like I only have so many 100-yard dashes left, and I don’t want to waste them in practice. Can you imagine that? I have markers on the street to show me where 50 yards is, and where 100 is, and I go by that. But I don’t practice much. I’m just pretty good at moving around and I do it when I have to, whatever I have to do.”

I like this lady!


Back next week with some more ‘good people’, and hopefully I will be better able to focus then.

Jolly Monday!

yawn  Good morning, friends!  For some reason, I’m extra sleepy this morning … probably the weather … or a shortened night’s sleep.  So tell me, how was your weekend?  Mine was fine … nothing spectacular, but good enough.  It was the first weekend in months that daughter Chris didn’t have some band obligation to attend, so that was nice.  Well, grab a snack and a cuppa and let’s go in search of something to make us smile, shall we?

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Taco Bell clothing line?

Oh please, say it ain’t so!  Taco Bell, the fast food restaurant chain, is getting into the Thanksgiving spirit by riffing on the tradition of the ugly Christmas sweater. The chain teamed with ugly Christmas sweater company Tipsy Elves to create two sweaters and two varieties of leggings that celebrate both Taco Bell and the tradition of “Friendsgiving,” a Thanksgiving dinner shared with friends instead of family.Taco-Bell-sweaters.jpgNow who in their right mind would be caught dead in one of these???  Oh … wait … I know who … never mind … forget I even asked.

Not to be outdone, the burger chain Whataburger has unveiled its Christmas sweater …

The sweater features Whataburger’s logo as well as French fries, snowflakes, a Christmas tree and ‘24 hours’.whataburger-sweater.pngThe sweaters quickly sold out but take heart … another batch is due on December 5th.  And don’t anybody get any ideas about getting me any fast-food clothing for Christmas, got it?


And speaking of food gifts …

What is with the food companies branching out into clothing and other non-edibles these days?  Has climate change produced some chemical that is frying people’s brains?  This time, it’s Jimmy Dean, makers of breakfast sausage.Jimmy Dean ornamentSausage maker Jimmy Dean is asking customers to trade photos of their favorite dishes for free gifts including sausage-scented wrapping paper.  The company said the Jimmy Dean Recipe Gift Exchange offers a variety of free gifts that customers can exchange for photos of dishes cooked from the company’s featured sausage recipes.

The exchange involves three steps:

Step 1: Cook one of Jimmy Dean’s featured sausage recipes.

Step 2: Submit a picture of your dish to jimmydeangiftexchange.com.

Step 3: Select which one of several free gifts you would like to receive.Sausage-scented paperThe free gifts include sausage-scented wrapping paper, a glass Christmas tree ornament shaped like a packaged Jimmy Dean sausage, an “ugly Christmas sweater” printed apron and a vinyl Christmas album recorded by Jimmy Dean himself in 1965.

The company said one participant will also win a $10,000 diamond-studded belt buckle inspired by Jimmy Dean’s famous signature belt buckle.


Okay, but WHY???

Some people in this world, I have concluded, simply have far too much time on their hands!  Take, for example, David Rush of Idaho.  He has been practicing for this moment … for the moment when he beat his own Guinness World record for … wait for it …David RushYes, folks, for eating the most kernels of corn with a toothpick.  WHY???

“I practiced skewering a lot to prepare along with the size of the plate, spreading out the corn and best toothpicks to use. If you believe you can get better at something and work hard at it, you can get better at anything.”

This time, he managed 241 corn kernels in three minutes, which broke his previous record of only 236 kernels in the same time frame.  With a toothpick.  Anyone want to try this one at home?


Fred Flintstone … alive and well in Florida?

If you’ve been wondering lately (and who hasn’t?) where Fred Flintstone, Wilma, Barney & Betty have gotten off to … well, they retired and moved to Florida like about half the nation’s retirees do!  Duh.  But ol’ Fred hasn’t given up his cantankerous ways and earned himself a speeding ticket from Pasco County’s finest last week.  Take a look …

Apparently Fred figured that hot Florida pavement wouldn’t do his feet much good if he had to use them to propel the car, so he is using one with an engine.  Well, makes sense … he’s retired and no longer a spring chicken, y’know!


That’s a funny-looking bus …

It happened in Russia, but I can picture people here trying it … tell people they cannot do something, and they will die trying to prove to you that they can!

The Zolotoy Bridge in Vladivostok is ‘vehicles only’, no pedestrian traffic allowed, much the same as our Interstate highways here in the U.S.  A group of people apparently wanted to cross the Zolotoy Bridge quite badly, so they did what any group would do … they disguised themselves as … a bus!busIt was all great fun until the police showed up, made them turn around, and an officer followed them off the bridge.


And that’s a wrap for this Monday … oh, I almost forgot … Jolly had something he wanted to share with you …

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I found dese funny pictures just for you guys … I hope you likes ‘em.

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Then why should I buy one???


Have a great week, my friends.  Please share your smiles … when you do that, they are repaid 1,000 times!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!

Jolly 🎃 Monday …

Hi friends.  It’s Monday.  Sigh.  Ready for some laughs?  Sigh.  Okay … how ‘bout we start with a joke.  Why did the chicken 🐓 cross to the other side of the road?  Um … I forget.  Okay … I sense this isn’t going well … let’s start over, shall we?

Hi friends!  It’s Monday and you all get to go back to work … isn’t that just peachy 🍑 ?

Hi friends!!!  It’s Monday … and … um …

Here … just grab a snack while I dig up something humorous …


Alaina Custer was working as a server at a restaurant, Sup Dogs in Greenville, North Carolina when a couple came in and ordered only two waters.  They took a few quick sips of the water, then dashed out, leaving a tip and a note.  The tip seems to me a bit extravagant for only water … $10,000 … in cash!  And the note read “thanks for the delicious water”.  One can only wonder what he would have tipped for a full meal!

Alaina Custer“I literally didn’t think it was real.  I picked it up and it was a giant stack of hundreds. I was shaking and just kept asking Bret [Sup Dogs’ owner Bret Oliverio], ‘What is this?’ I thought someone was playing a joke on me.”

It wasn’t long before somebody noticed two men at a nearby table filming Ms. Custer and her boss. Turns out it was a YouTube star (who knew there was such a thing?) named Jimmy, aka Mr. Beast, who was just “going around blessing servers’ days”.  Ms. Custer is a student at East Carolina University, working at Sup Dogs to put herself through school.  Still, Ms. Custer split the tip with her co-workers, most of whom are also students, and each ended up with about $800.  Not a bad take for serving two glasses of water, eh?

Mr. BeastMr. Beast is a North Carolina YouTuber named Jimmy, with more than 8.8 million subscribers who has done multiple videos featuring large donations, such as $30,000 to his favorite Twitch streamer, dropping $20,000 from a drone, tipping a pizza delivery person $10,000 in cash and more.


The 2018 Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon is not your run-of-the-mill marathon.  For the eighth year in a row, the marathon has partnered with Guinness World Records “to provide record-breaking hopefuls with on-site record attempt verification to make race day even more memorable”. This year, thirteen world records were broken.  Let’s take a look at a few …blaine penny.jpgBlaine Penny of Calgary, Alta. is officially the fastest man ever to run a marathon dressed as a battery, and by more than an hour. Penny ran 2:59:58.  Nearly three hours … as a battery … he must have studied under the Energizer bunny!daniel janetosDaniel Janetos was also successful in his Guinness world record bid. Janetos is the fastest male to run a half-marathon dressed as a chef, which is actually his profession. He ran 1:27:50, smashing his own previous world record of 1:34:53 by almost seven minutes. Janetos’ run benefitted the National Wildlife Rehabilitation Foundation (NWRF).czupielBrothers Petro and Andrey Czupiel ran a 2:09:28 for the fastest half-marathon in a two-person costume. Last year Petro ran the fastest half marathon dressed as a clown. The Czupiel brothers ran this year dressed as Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble driving the Flintstone car.pamela bottosPamela Bottos became the fastest woman to run a half-marathon dressed as a television character. Bottos, done up as the American comedienne and TV star Lucille Ball, ran a 1:56:48 in memory of her sister-in-law, Pepper, while raising funds for Breast Foot Forward, a breast cancer charity.Julie HillsJulie Hillis pushed her four young children (Duncan, Sarah, Maggie, and Isa) to a 2:04:59 for the fastest half-marathon while pushing two double strollers. Hillis aimed to promote fitness and healthy habits among kids.Bradley VincentBradley Vincent is my favourite, though.  He made himself a poop emoji costume and ran a 1:38:14 for the title of fastest half-marathon while dressed as an emoji.  Over an hour-and-a-half dressed as poop.  That takes gumption, folks.


And speaking of Guinness World Records … Don Gorske is a 64-year-old retired prison guard from Wisconsin.  Back in May, Gorske broke a Guinness record … for eating his 30,000th Big Mac.  🤢Big MacHe says that there have been only 8 days since 1972 that he has not eaten at least one Big Mac.  Now, I have to ask one question:  WHY???

“This one is a biggie for me, something I have been looking forward to. I love the patties, I love the sauce, I can’t get enough of it.”

But Mr. Gorske … don’t you ever stop and consider the fact that one Big Mac contains 540 calories, 28 grams of fat, 46 grams of carbohydrates and 25 grams of protein?

“I’m healthy as a horse. I weigh 190 pounds, and my cholesterol is 165. I’m better than normal.”

Okay, then … personally, I think they taste rather like cardboard and it has been at least 15 years since I have eaten anything that came from McDonald’s, but to each his own.  Congratulations, Mr. Gorske, on your achievement.


And … what would Jolly Monday be without a cute animal clip?

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And that’s a wrap for this Monday, my friends!  Jolly and I have work to do and I’m sure most of you do too.  In case you wondered, the critter in the header image is a Slow Loris.  I hope you have a wonderful week and that you go out and share a smile, maybe even a hug with someone in need of one today.  Keep safe and have a great week!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa & Jolly!

A Jolly, Soggy Monday …

Good Monday morning, friends!!!  I trust you all had an excellent weekend?  Ours was a bit on the soggy side, but otherwise fine.  Did I tell you about my dishwasher?  No?  Well … pull  up a chair … hmph … the damn thing has been acting oddly for a few weeks, and we have had to wedge a broom handle against the lever to get it to stay on.  No biggie, right?  And then came Friday, and broom or no broom, that piece of #$%& was not about to run.  Naturally, it was full of dirty dishes, so I ended up taking them all out and washing them the old-fashioned way, in da sink with soap and hot water.

Now, you are saying to yourselves, “well, she rents, so why doesn’t she just call for maintenance?”  HAH!!!  First, after my last appearance at the rental office, where I had just a few choice words … and … maybe … threatened to rip somebody’s head from its moorings, I am not allowed to go over there anymore.  Nor am I allowed to call them.  And so, I have to rely on Miss Goose, with her charming, dimpled grin, to go play on their sympathy.  On average, if you report a problem, it takes anywhere between 3 weeks and 6 months before maintenance will respond, and then they may … or may not … fix the issue.  But, for only $1,056 per month in rent, what can I expect, right?  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Anyway, enough about my problems.  I am keeping the treats simple this morning, for I’m just a tad under the weather and didn’t much feel like doing a lot of baking.  Now grab a cup of coffee or tea … leave the juice for the kids, please … and let’s find something to make us smile, shall we?


A villager in the Nanning City area of the Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region (China) was cleaning plastic bottles one day last week, but he must have used just a bit too much soap, for next thing he knew … well, take a look

Apparently the rains came and stirred up the suds to create a foamy mess!soapy mess


How would you like to come home after a hard day’s work and find … THIS?broken house

broken house-2It happened in Baldwin Park, Florida, where a crane (the machine, not the bird) suddenly turned over, splitting the house literally in two!  Ivan Fogarty, corporate safety director for crane owner Beyel Brothers Crane & Rigging, said the machinery likely fell over because the ground under it was wet.  Well, um … shouldn’t they maybe have thought of that before setting up there?

The homeowner and his family were not home at the time, thankfully, but the house is currently uninhabitable, and the damage is being assessed to determine if it is reparable.  Methinks that either way, ol’ Beyel Brothers are going to have one hefty lawsuit on their hands if they don’t voluntarily make this right.


Clean Soles shoe store in Roanoke, Virginia, was burglarized on August 25th.  The really odd thing about the burglary was the thief took only right-foot shoes, leaving the left … left behind!  Get it … left behind?  Okay, never mind … 🙄

Now, my first thought was that the guy probably had only one leg … the right one.  But the footage from security cameras shot that notion in the foot … get it … foot … shoes … 🙄

This was obviously not a well-planned heist, else he would have at least brought a bag to carry it all in.  I would have loved to see his expression when he arrived back home, only to find that he had all right shoes!  At least we know he doesn’t have two left feet … get it … left feet … right shoes … sigh 🙄

Now you see why I don’t write comedy for a living.


Sumiko IwamuraSumiko Iwamura is a DJ in Tokyo, Japan, and she recently set a Guinness World Record.  The record?  Oldest Professional Club DJ.  Just how old is Sumiko-san?  She is, as she says, 83 years and six months.  She was a spry 77 years of age when she decided to take up something new, so when her friend Adrien suggested DJ school, she was gung-ho for the idea.

By day, Sumiko-san works as a cook at the Chinese restaurant she owns, but two nights a week she transforms into DJ Sumirock where she plays at the DecaBarZ nightclub in Shinjuku.  She is so good that she has been invited as a guest DJ in places like Paris and New Zealand.

Despite all this fame, she hasn’t lost her humility …

“You get feedback from your customers quickly in both cases.  If you’re playing tracks and they don’t like it, they’ll leave the floor and start drinking at the bar. If the tracks are danceable, then they’ll stay on and dance their heart out. Restaurant customers are the same — if it tastes good, then they look happy, and they’ll tell me that they like it. For me, it’s easy to work out how people are feeling in both cases.”


Remember back in January when as a part of a Saturday Surprise, I posted a tidbit about some people actually eating Tide Pods?    Well, it didn’t take long for a New York pizzeria to capitalize on the idea, offering mini pizzas created to resemble the laundry detergent pods.

Vinnie’s Pizzeria announced on Twitter that customers looking for an edible alternative to laundry detergent should order the eatery’s “PIEd Pods.”Tide pod pizza

“Listen, we’re concerned about the youths. They’re eating laundry detergent pods. Our Pied Pods (filled w/cheese and roni) have that bright, alluring colors that youths crave BUT are 100 percent edible and 100 percent not soap. Plus they’re delicious.”

Okay, then … I don’t think I’ll be rushing out to Vinnie’s anytime soon.


And that’s all I’ve got for today … oops, wait … I caught some flak last week for not including a cute animal video … and so, I present to you, a short clip about a baby hedgehog … and I guarantee you will laugh, for it made me laugh for the first time in at least 4 days!


And on that note, I think it is time for you guys to head on out to the salt mines, the office, or the chores your wife has on the ‘honey-do’ list on the fridge, and I will … sigh … wash laundry.  And now, dishes.  On a serious note, my friends … I am usually pretty much an optimist, but this past week has me wondering why I bother to get up in the mornings, and I know from chatting with some of you that I am not alone.  Please take just a minute sometime today to share your gorgeous smile with somebody who hasn’t one of their own.  Believe me, it will lift their spirits a bit, and it will lift yours, also.  And remember … I love you all!!!  Keep safe and have a great week!toon-1

toon-Maxine

A Monday Post … Without a Name?????

Monday-funny-2Today is a special day … it is the 20th Monday of the year 2017!  We have survived 19 of them already!  Give yourselves a hand and a pat on the back!  I hope you all enjoyed the weekend! I had a laid back weekend, just how I like it, so I have no funny stories to relate of my own.  However, as always, I challenge myself to find ways to brighten your Monday morn with a chuckle or two, so pull up a chair, grab your … coffee … and spend a few minutes with me here.

Monday-wine


A record-breaker …

World records are hard to set.  I’ve never set one, have you?  Seems that whatever one might want to do, somebody else has done first, like eating a 12 inch pizza in 23.62 seconds, or building a 13-foot-5-inch chocolate structure that weighed in at 22,458 pounds to create the heaviest chocolate sculpture of all time. Most of us are unlikely to set world records in our lifetime, but Ashrita Furman of New York holds over 200 Guinness records, has broken more than 600 in his lifetime, and is known as the holder of the most world records … ever.  One of his records was for ‘pushing an orange with his nose for one mile’. Okay … well … just last week he set yet another record. This is one that I do not advise you to try to break … just let Mr. Furman keep this record.  What did he do?  He broke the world record for extinguishing matches with tongue.  How many?  37 flaming matches within one minute.  OWWWW! The previous record, by the way, was 30.  This is one of those that I just have to ask … Why?

Monday-Furman

You can see for yourself some of Ashrita Furman’s other very interesting records!  He is an interesting man, and I could easily write an entire post about him … perhaps I will one day soon.


A yabba-dabba doozy …

Poor 75-year-old Maureen of Kingston, Ontario, was ready to trade in her 2006 Chevrolet Uplander SUV, but ran into a bit of a glitch.  Turns out there was a lien against the vehicle by … wait for it … Fred and Pebbles Flintstone!  Documents listed the Flintstones address as 9 Yellow Brick Road, Markham, Ont. and included a birthdate of Jan. 1, 1950 for Pebbles.

Monday-Flintstones

Hackers?  An angry friend or relative seeking revenge?  Nope … Ontario’s Ministry of Government and Consumer Services, as it turns out.  They were, at some point, as a means to test vehicle identification numbers in the government’s computer system, using fake names, but since they were never removed the lien remained on Maureen’s SUV. It took poor Maureen nine months and an attorney to clear up the lien, despite the fact that it was clearly the government’s error.

Progressive Conservative MPP Randy Hillier had some fun with it saying, “Clearly, we all knew this was an act of gross incompetence as everyone knows the Flintstones live on Rocky Road in Bedrock, U.S.A., and Fred drives a foot-mobile, not a 2006 Chev Uplander. How many more ‘Mystery Machines’ have had liens placed on them in the names of Scooby-Doo and the gang and other Saturday morning cartoon personalities?”

And another MP said privately, “if this mess happened to me I’d be sending Bamm-Bamm over.”

Monday-Flintstones-2


Typos, typos, typos …

Typos … we all make them.  I generally catch mine, but every now and then one slips through and my friend H, who has a Pacman sitting on his shoulder, always catches them.  But my typos and yours aren’t quite as widely viewed as one on, say, a sign that hundreds or even thousands of people pass every day.  And the ultimate humiliation?

Monday-sign

The above sign was placed near the entrance to North Branford High School in Connecticut in August 2016. It remained in place until last week, because all the educators … teachers, principals, administrators … failed to notice that the word ‘entrance’ had an extra ‘E’.  They were finally informed by a local radio show host.  School Superintendent Scott Schoonmaker said, “I’ve probably driven by that sign a thousand times, but you’re not paying attention you’re coming and going.”  The sign has since been taken down and will be auctioned for charity.

Need we ask again why young people today cannot spell?


Rooftop decoration?

Monday-dog-on-roof

His name is Huckleberry and he likes to be on the roof.  Simple, okay?  Who doesn’t like to get away from it all sometimes?  And who doesn’t occasionally enjoy seeing ‘the bigger picture’?  Huckleberry is quite capable of getting both onto and off of the roof, but neighbors continually knock on the front door to let Huck’s people know that he is on the roof.  After a time, they got a mite tired of being notified and put up this sign …

Monday-dog-on-roof-note

Now I’m thinking that if they could convince him to wear a Santa suit come December, they would have a ready-made Christmas display!


Finally, the joke of the week:

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.'”


Alrighty, folks … I’ve got work to do and so do you, so let’s rinse the coffee mugs, be thankful you don’t need your winter coat, hat, gloves and scarves, and head on out the door.  Remember to pass that smile along as you go through the day.  Somewhere in your journeys, you will cross paths with somebody who really needs one!  Keep safe and have a great Monday!

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monday-smiles-2.jpgMonday-poof

NO POLITICS MONDAY!!!!

Good Monday to all!  I don’t know about you, but personally, I am suffering a case of “political overload” at the moment, after Saturday’s primaries and caucuses, Sunday’s debate, and all the Trumpola thrown in my face for the last several days/weeks/months. Mondays are tough enough without adding angst to the equation. So, I decided today I would find other, more fun and interesting things to write about before returning to wading through the muck on the morrow.  Here are a few brief blurbs I ran across in my journeys through the netherworld.

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The Guinness World Record book is famous for some of its oddball categories.  Bet you didn’t know there is even one for the loudest burp!  That record was broken by an Australian man who says it was the fulfillment of his lifelong dream. (The Week, 2016)  How loud was his burp?  110.6 decibels or louder than a motorcycle or power saw from three feet away.  “It’s been a bit of a goal from when I was a kid,” he says.  He credits his success to regular training sessions with carbonated drinks, including beer. There are also categories for the loudest female burp and for loudest fart.  Okay … well, um … moving along now …

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A 16-year-old kid teaching a group of 70+ seniors to take selfies?  Well, it seems like an idea that just might catch on!  How many of us over a certain age have to ask our kids or grandkids to help us with our phones, computers and other 21st century devices?  Back in the day (I’m not saying which day), I could rebuild a computer, but these days, I cannot even make the DVD player display closed captioning without the assistance of my granddaughter.  A young man, Christian Magnuson, volunteered to help out at a retirement home (I like this kid already!), where he noticed that most of the residents had smartphones, but they were at a loss as to how to do much more than turn them on.  I can relate … until recently I couldn’t figure out how to make a call on mine though I could text like a pro!  Anyway, Christian, age 16, started teaching a weekly class to teach the seniors such things as taking pictures (including selfies), changing ringtones, texting, and what all those little icons mean.  He is also teaching them about something called “Siri” … whatever the heck that is!  I think I am the one who needs his classes.  Two thumbs up to this young man!  (Bahrampour, 2016)

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R.I.P. Nancy Reagan.  While I frequently disagreed with Ronald Reagan’s policies and ideology, Nancy Reagan was a gracious First Lady.  She brought to the White House a sense of style, but, more importantly, graciousness, a gentleness, warmth, and charm.

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Two brothers in Florida both won the lottery on the same day, but with separate tickets!  What are the odds, you ask?  The two brothers, James and Bob Stocklas, had been vacationing in Florida when, as they were heading back to their home in Pennsylvania, they each bought a lottery ticket.  Their winnings?  Well, James won $291 million while Bob won a whopping $7.  But never fear … James plans to share.  “We’ve been laughing a lot about it, he doesn’t need to worry about nothing,” James told the New York Daily News. “Family’s family. He’s not going to worry about anything.” (Moran, 2016)

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butterfly and bee

Of butterflies and bees … one is in decline, but the other is making a comeback.  First, the good news:  the Monarch Butterfly population has more than tripled this year, after multiple years of decline.  Credit goes to a joint effort between Mexico, the U.S. and Canada for planting more milkweed plants, and cracking down on illegal logging.  Now the really bad news:  the honeybee population, which has been decreasing since at least 2006, has decreased by some 70% in Iowa, the Dakotas, Montana and Minnesota, and by 50% in California. There seems to be no single cause, but a complicity of climate changes, pesticide and fungicide over-use, genetically altered crops and other man-made causes.  This is critical because “no other single animal species plays a more significant role in producing the fruits and vegetables that we humans commonly take for granted yet require near daily to stay alive”. http://www.globalresearch.ca/death-and-extinction-of-the-bees/5375684.  Albert Einstein once prophetically remarked, “Mankind will not survive the honeybees’ disappearance for more than five years.”  Many efforts are underway to achieve a solution to this problem … let us hope it works!