Yesterday, Speaker of the House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi, sent a letter to Donald Trump strongly urging that he either reschedule the State of the Union Address or deliver it in writing, in the wake of the ongoing government shutdown, which entered its 26th day on Wednesday, and which has affected nearly 800,000 federal workers. Pelosi cited critical government agencies in charge of overseeing the event — namely U.S. Secret Service and the Department of Homeland Security — that have been hobbled by the shutdown.
Under the circumstances, it is highly unlikely that Trump will, in fact, deliver a State of the Union address in person on Friday, 29 January. So, it seemed prudent, just in case I am asked to deliver it in his stead, to go ahead and write my own speech …
Good evening Ms. Speaker, Mr. Vice President, Members of Congress, my fellow Americans.
Ms. Pelosi graciously invited me to fill in for Mr. Trump in giving the State of the Union Address tonight, for with the government shutdown in its 39th day, the Secret Service and Department of Homeland Security are stretched far too thin to provide adequate security to attend this address to Congress. It was determined that far fewer people want to bump me off than Mr. Trump, so my safety seems not to be at risk and thus I am here to deliver the speech to Congress and the Nation tonight. Mr. Trump’s speechwriters worked very hard to provide me with a written speech, however, I seem to have left it back at the hotel, so luckily I have written my own.
This is called the State of the Union address because the purpose is to inform the American people how the country is doing, and where we are going, what we plan to accomplish in the coming year. Let me start with how we are doing.
America is more divided today than at any time since the end of the Civil War years. We have problems, folks – serious problems. As I mentioned today marks the 39th day of the partial government shutdown that is affecting everyone in one way or another. You, the people of this once-great nation are losing confidence, and understandably so, in your government. Investors are losing confidence and it is being reflected in the dropping stock market and also in the job market. Consumer prices are on the rise. The food you buy to feed your families costs more than it did a month ago and there is a very real danger that meat and produce may be contaminated, since the U.S. Department of Agriculture hasn’t sufficient staff to continue food safety inspections.
Apart from the government shutdown, we have a plethora of other problems that we seem unable or unwilling to address. Perhaps the most critical one is that of the environment. Since the rollback of past environmental regulations that were intended to cut back on carbon emissions, it was reported earlier this week that carbon emissions in the U.S. have increased by 3.4%, not decreased as they needed to. This is a problem, not only for the United States, but for our neighbors, Mexico and Canada, as well as the rest of the globe.
The other critical problem facing the nation is that we have lost the trust and respect of our allies, which leaves us in an extremely vulnerable position. We abandoned our allies when we announced our intent to pull out of the Paris Climate Accord, when we exited the Iran nuclear agreement, and more recently when we announced that we would pull all U.S. troops out of Syria, leaving our allies holding the bag. In addition, our threats to pull out of NATO, our unwarranted criticism of our allies, high import tariffs, and seeming attentiveness toward our adversaries further have our allies wondering whether they could depend on us in case of an emergency. This is a dangerous situation.
Here at home, we face other problems.
Last year we saw a number of mass shootings in the United States. 113 people were either killed or injured in school shootings alone, and young people are asking us why we don’t do something, why we don’t pass laws to keep guns out of the hands of people with mental problems, of people who are known domestic abusers, why we don’t have stronger gun laws in this country.
The nation is torn apart by the debate about immigration and a wall on the border between the United States and Mexico. Border states are particularly torn, for such a wall would limit, if not eliminate trade and tourism between our two countries and would almost certainly cause further political and economic unrest.
Our education system is failing our young people. They are not receiving the education they need in order to succeed, to become the next generation of leaders, of scientists, of historians or great inventors. Instead, we are training them only for specific jobs, thereby severely limiting their options.
We have fallen far behind other Western nations in the development of renewable energy sources, have become far too dependent on fossil fuels which are causing more damage and destruction to the environment every day.
Bigotry in all its forms is at an all time high in our nation today. Racial tensions are the highest they have been since the 1960s when people died to gain Civil Rights for African-Americans, for all people. Rights are being taken away from the LGBT community. Women’s rights are being trampled. Muslims are discriminated against openly in public.
Our elections are no longer fair, for almost every state has gerrymandered districts, newly imposed voter identification laws that discriminate against the poor and minorities. Polling places in poor districts are closed, or in some cases the hours dramatically reduced, making it impossible for a working person in one of those neighborhoods to vote. Foreign entities have interfered in our elections, often skewing results. Both domestic and foreign lobbyist firms have influenced elections and now have some of the people sitting in this room tonight in their pockets. All of this has led to voter disenfranchisement and apathy.
And healthcare … drug prices are obscenely inflated in the United States, as are insurance costs. The ACA has been chipped at to the extent that many can no longer afford their health insurance. People are sick and dying for lack of money.
I wish I had better news to report, but frankly, ladies and gentlemen, our nation is in a sorry state today. I cannot speak for Mr. Trump as to any plans for the coming year, but I have given you a rundown, in brief, of the State of the Nation. And on that note, I thank you for your time this evening.