‘Joyful’ Monday

Jollys girlfriend JoyfulGood morning, folks … c’mon in … please forgive the mess … the kitties decided to shred a couple of cardboard boxes last night, and I haven’t had a chance to vacuum yet.  I’m sad to tell you that Jolly is still not up to himself, but his girlfriend Joyful, to whom I introduced you back in October, has volunteered to fill in for him!  I couldn’t have done it without her!

Now, I let Joyful help me prepare the snacks for this morning, so I know you’ll all be nice and overlook a few … um … shall we say … burnt offerings.  (I made the coffee myself) Grab a snack and let’s get this week off to a happy start, shall we?

coffee            juice box               tea-2


This really happened in China last week.  A woman named Li had just withdrawn ¥2500, an amount of yen equal to about $371 USD from an ATM machine, and as she turned to leave, a man named Deng came up behind her, armed with a knife, and demanding she hand over the cash she had just received.  She did as told, but when he counted the cash, Deng apparently wasn’t satisfied and told her to go back into her account to withdraw more.  Apparently, Li had withdrawn all, or mostly all, of the funds she had, and when Deng saw the balance in her account, guess what he did?  He started laughing.  And then, he handed the money back to Li.  Now, we don’t know what was said because all we have is video footage, but I can imagine him saying, “Here, lady, you need this more than me!”

Deng surely must have known he was on candid camera, and that is how police caught up to him.  Almost makes you feel sorry for him, doesn’t it?


Now, imagine that you are house-sitting for a friend and you suddenly hear strange sounds coming from one of the bathrooms.  That is exactly what happened to a woman in Portland, Oregon.  Now, I have to ask, why does anybody need a ‘house-sitter’?  I can understand a pet-sitter, for pets need to be fed, groomed, pottied, and kept an eye on, but a house isn’t going anywhere, it doesn’t eat, it doesn’t poop!  Anyway, this woman was house-sitting, when she heard really odd noises coming out of the bathroom.  The door to the bathroom was closed, but she could see movement under the door, so she drew the conclusion that there was a thief in the bathroom.  And she did what anyone would do, right?  She called the cops!  (Note, here, that I am an aberration and likely would have opened the bloomin’ door, because … a), I’m not right bright, and b) why would a burglar be holed up in the bathroom???!)

Well, the cops show up in force, guns drawn, and burst into the bathroom … to find …criminal roombaYep, one of those Roomba thing-a-mah-doos that vacuums the floor by itself.  Apparently, this Roomba decided the floor had become dusty … now who in the heck vacuums the bathroom, anyway?  According to Sergeant Danny DiPietro …

“In 13 years, this is my first Roomba burglar.”


It’s been a while since I’ve done a piece with some funny road signs …

road-1                       road-2road-3road-4road-5road-6road-7road-8

road-9road-10


Yo … Joyful … I’m struggling here … what do you have to share with our friends?

Jollys girlfriend Joyful

I gots some cartoons, ‘cuz Jolly tol’ me dey like cartoons.  Okay?

Okay, Joyful … take over for me … show us what you’ve got!

toon-1toon-2toon-3toon-4Those were great Joyful!  Thank you, honey!  Now go back and see to Jolly … here, take him a fresh cup of tea …

cuppa tea

Wait … I gots one more thing I liked, ‘k?  Lookie …cat-dog-meme.pngAwww … that’s so cute, Joyful!  Thank you!


Folks, I’ve got just one more thing for this morning … it’s a short one, but so funny it even made me laugh!


And that’s a wrap for this Monday, I’m afraid.  Without my Jolly … well … I’m just not very good at this on my own.  I hope you all have a wonderful week, and please, take a smile on your way out to share with somebody who might need one this week.  Love and Hugs from Filosofa, Jolly and Joyful!Monday-basket-smiles

Saturday Surprise — Who Knew?

toonGood morning, my friends, and welcome to the weekend!  I almost skipped out on Saturday Surprise today, for I’m afraid Jolly is very sick, and I wasn’t sure I could do it without him.  Oh no, don’t worry about disturbing him, for he is deep down in the rabbit hole at the moment.  Anyway,  then I came across a couple of things that had me shaking my head, saying “Who knew?”, and I thought I would see if I could do this post on my own, without Jolly’s help.


Drive it or eat it???

When you think of Volkswagon, what do you think of?

volkswagon

This, right?  Well, it turns out that Volkswagen sells more sausages than Beetles!  Yes, you heard me right … sausages! In fact, in 2015 and 2017, it sold more sausages than cars overall!  Who knew?  Some would say it makes sense, since sausages have both a lower overhead cost and a lower purchase price than the average car.

In 1973, the company started making the currywurst sausages, known as “item no. 199 398 500 A” in the Volkswagen factory, at the company headquarters in Wolfsburg, Germany. Meant as a breakfast or lunch item in the company’s cafeteria, the sausages were served whole or chopped up and tossed with Volkswagen’s own factory-made curry-flavored ketchup. I guess they must have gone over well, for these days, 30 kitchen staffers, most of them trained butchers, are put solely on weiner duty, making 18,000 sausages every day. The pork is sourced from local farms, and the recipe, which includes curry powder, pepper, and ginger, is a company secret. The sausages come in two lengths, and are dried, smoked over beechwood, and then steamed at 350°F for 100 minutes. The finished product is shipped in packs of five to VW dealerships all over the country, who then gift it to customers after a successful sale.

vw sausagesIn 2017, Volkswagen sold nearly 7 million sausages, more than the number of VW-brand cars sold worldwide that year.  Given their role in the recent emissions scandal, perhaps they would be better off to stick to sausages?


Send it via pigeon …

I use a free greeting card service to send an occasional e-card for birthdays, get-well wishes, or sometimes just to let somebody know I’m thinking of them.  The one I use is 1-2-3 Greetings, for they are quick, simple, remember your contacts, and have a fairly decent selection.  And free … did I mention free?  So, a couple of days ago, I received this email from them …

123 pigeon

Back by popular demand:
Our messenger pigeons

Hi Jill!

Following the requests of many of our users, we are resuming our pigeon delivery service. Starting from April 8, it will again be possible to send real greeting cards by our top trained pigeons.

We are proud to announce that we had the top bird trainer in the country – Barbara Heidenreich – training pigeons for over a year to deliver your greeting all across USA. Currently we have over 20 pigeons available. This amazing service will start in United States only, but please be patient as more countries are to follow.

This extraordinary option will be available starting from $199 for each delivery and, due to limited availability, will have to depend on the geographical location of the sender.

More details here

Rather than a “who knew?” moment, this was more of a “Say WHAT???” moment.  Who in their right mind, using a free greeting card service, is going to pay upwards of $200 for a carrier pigeon to deliver a card???  I can mail a greeting card for 45 cents, for Pete’s sake!

Now, I saved this message because I was so incredulous.  Just last night, as I was cleaning out my email box that had gotten up to over 600 messages, I came across it again and notice the “More details here” at the end of the message.  I had not clicked on that when I first received the message, so I clicked this time to see what else they were trying to profit from … perhaps you could have a bottle of Dom Perignon delivered by carrier pigeon.  Well …

Embarrassed insecure emoticon

I now have a bit of a sheepish grin on my face, for … had I bothered to look at the date of the email … April 1st … April Fool’s Day … Oopsie.  Got me!


More Lego art — kitties!

Remember … was it last week or the week before … when I posted a bit about some magnificent Lego sculptures?  Well, last night I came across another … the sculptures are not huge like the ones from last time, but they are … well, take a look for yourself …Lego-cats-1Lego-cats-2Lego-cats-3Lego-cats-4Lego-cats-5Lego-cats-6Lego-cats-7Being a housemate to currently six, and at one time as many as ten of these furry critters, I thoroughly enjoyed these!


I saw this on a friend’s post on Facebook last night and found it humorous.  Might be an idea for some of you who are parents of teens!humour


Well, folks, without Jolly to help, I’m afraid that’s all I can come up with for this morning.  Let us hope that Jolly feels better by Monday!  But never mind, for it’s the beginning of the weekend, and you no doubt have better things to do anyway.  Take care and have a great weekend, my friends!  Thanks for stopping by!

Saturday Surprise — Sukeroku!

It’s funny, for I was reading a story written by a friend/fellow-blogger a few days ago, a children’s story, and I mentioned that all she needed now was an artist who could turn her characters into whimsical pictures to accompany her words.  Then this evening, as I was bopping around the internet, trying to decide with what I might surprise you guys today, I came across some of the most adorable pictures imaginable.  The Japanese artist is known only as Gotte, and his (or her– not sure which) little hamster, the subject of his art, is Sukeroku.  The pictures depict Sukeroku in everyday settings & situations, and they are absolutely guaranteed to bring a smile to the faces of young and old alike!  If you enjoy these, you can check him out on Twitter,  Instagram  or on the artist’s own website.

And by the way … Jolly was bored, so I let him create the captions …  jolly

hamster-1

WHEEEEE!!!!

hamster-3

I’m late, I’m late, for a vewy important date!

hamster-4

Yum-yum-yum … er … what?  Not supposed to sample da goods?

hamster-5

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

hamster-7

Please, please, please … lemme drop it in da hole …

hamster-8.jpg

Me Hamtaro!!!  King o’ da hamsters!

hamster-9

Garçon … more bread please.

hamster-10

Wanna help me build a fort?

hamster-14-ahamster-14

Mewwy Cwistmas!!!

hamster-15

Sewf Portrait … d’ya think I’m any good?

hamster-16

Chores … sigh.

hamster-18

Gettin’ bootiful!

hamster-19

I loves a scawy movie …     

hamster-21

What kinda pie you want?

hamster-22

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

hamster-2

Nite-nite … zzzzzz

Have a great weekend, my dear friends!!!  

Jolly Monday — Funny Furries

Hey guys!  Come in out of the cold … I hear some of you got dumped on over the weekend … last night I heard that Chicago’s O’Hare Airport had canceled some 700 flights!  Luckily, I think it’s supposed to go north of us and land in Maine somewhere.  Mr. LePage deserves it!  So how was your weekend?

I had a really difficult time doing ‘funny’ last night, and even Jolly wasn’t much help.  All the humour in my usual ‘go-to’ sources seemed a bit macabre, like the guy who was trying to steal gasoline from a U-Haul and set himself and the U-Haul truck on fire.  Somehow … it just didn’t make me laugh.  So, instead of a variety of humour today, I am falling back on the one thing that always works, funny animals.  Jolly, by the way, is still in bed … I think perhaps he’s coming down with something.

Grab a snack and a nice hot cuppa java, and settle in for a bit of furry funnies before you set out to start the week off.

juice boxMonday-coffee-potsprinkle donuts


And let’s wrap up with a few jokes, shall we?

 

 

And I’m sorry, folks, but that’s all the funny I have in me for today.  Share a smile, a laugh, or even a hug today with a friend, a co-worker or a stranger, okay?  Keep warm, keep safe, and have a great week!!!Monday-smile-2

Jolly Monday, Alegre Lunes!

Good Monday morning, friends!  Come in, come in … I see you’re wearing jackets this morning … I guess I better drag the coatrack back out, eh?  It has definitely gotten nippy out there, and I heard that someplace in Michigan had snow already this past weekend.  And rawgod who lives somewhere way northier in Western Canada, had snow a month or two ago!  I rather hope we get at least one decent snow this year, for last year I missed watching the kids build snow people and having snowball fights with my neighbor Ali!

So, did you all have a nice weekend?  Mine was a bit hectic and frustrating, but then I tend to have less patience these days.  We attended an Arabic birthday party next door on Saturday night, and I have to tell you … our Arabic friends  know how to enjoy life, how to have fun, and they do it all without a smidge of alcohol or drugs!  They just take pleasure in each other, in music, in camaraderie, in just being alive.  We could take a lesson or two from them!

I put Jolly in charge of treats this morning, so let’s go see what he has for us …

JOLLY!!!!  WHAT THE …kitchen-disaster-2

Oh Jolly … what have you done?

What has gotten into you?

 

Ahhhh … that explains it!  Folks, meet Jolly’s girlfriend, Joyful.  He’s never quite right when she’s around, for some reason.  But now, I’m sorry, there are no treats to offer today.  I’m so so sorry, and I’m sure Jolly is too.  Sigh.  Young love.


Location, location, location …

It is the mantra of real estate agents around the world, meaning that the value of a home depends more on its location than its construction.  Last Wednesday, as most of you probably know, Canada’s ‘Cannabis Act’ went into effect, opening numerous marijuana shops in the provinces. Elina ChildsElina Childs is a 9-year-old girl scout in Edmonton, Alberta, who was selling cookies for her Girl Guides troop, and she must have been advised of that old real estate mantra, for she found the perfect location, right outside an Edmonton dispensary.  Elina sold all 30 boxes of cookies she had within a matter of minutes.  The line to enter the shop was long, and patrons waited as long as four hours, so … why not buy a box of cookies to munch on while you wait?Nova Cannabis


Da nose, knows …

Y’know … I actually despaired tonight, not sure whether I could pull myself into the right mindset to write Jolly Monday, but determined not to let my friends down, I persevered.  Thankfully, there are enough bloomin’ eejits in the world to keep me in fodder for this gristmill, even when I’m not feeling humorous!

walking spiderThe headline read:

Family Pleads for Return of 50-Pound Nose Sculpture

What the … ???  The Albert family, of Portland, Oregon, had a giant nose on their porchgiant noseThey came by it last October, when Mr. Albert, an advertising guru, plucked it out of the trash at his ad agency where it had been used in a photo shoot, and then discarded like so much trash.  The Alberts have three children, ages 5,7, & 11, who were devastated to find the nose had disappeared overnight one morning last week.  The kids initially wanted to offer a $2,000 reward, but mom & dad said any reward would be limited to whatever the kids could collect from their piggy banks.  The reward stands at $6.27.  I guess the piggy banks weren’t exactly overflowing.lost nose posterLast Halloween, the family placed a bowl of candy beneath its nostrils with a sign that read, “pick one please.” This year, they had plans to decorate it with a mustache and pair of giant black-rimmed glasses.  I wish them the best of luck in getting their nose back.  The oldest son has vowed to bolt the nose to the porch if it finds its way back home.


And speaking of noses …

Winter is on its way, and there are certain body parts that just seem to get cold quicker than others.  For me, it is the hands, ears and nose.  A British woman, Sally Steel-Jones, has come up with a solution (and is making a bit of money for doing so).  Knitted nose-warmers!

“I got the idea in 2009 when I had a genuine cold nose (is that as opposed to a fake cold nose?). Our business started small, with one nose warmer made specifically to do the job of warming up a nippy nose!”

The company is called, predictably, The Nose Warmer Company, and is based in Sheffield, UK. The nose mittens sell for about $10 each, and come in a variety of colours, falling spiderpatterns and materials.


And because I think you still need a bit of something more to bring those smiles into full bloom … take a gander at this bear cub … it is an older video, but so very heartwarming


And that’s all I’ve got for today, my friends!  Please share your smiles, be compassionate toward your fellow humans this week, for it’s tough times for many of us.  Keep safe and have a terrific week!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa!

Saturday Surprise — Jolly Takes Over

Hey Y’all!  It’s me, Jolly!

jollyGwammie got stuck in a wabbit hole dis week, and she tol’ me since I keep disappearin’, it’s my turn to write Saturday Surprise ‘cause she ain’t here to write it.  I tol’ her not to eat so much an’ she wouldn’t get stuck … but does she listen?

So anyways … I found dese funny aminals tonite an’ I bet you’ll laugh!  I even maked up some o’ da captions!  Captions is words at da bottom o’ da picture, in case ye dinna know.

Owl

Whooooo … Me???

lions

Not tonight dear, I’ve got a headache

mooses

So there!  pbthhhhh

komodo.jpg

“Shall we dance”, said one komodo dragon to the other

bear

I know it’s in here somewhere …

lemur

You DON’T SAY!!!

squirrel

Step away from the nuts and nobody gets hurt … Step BACK!!!

deer.jpg

I’m WAAAAAY taller den you!

owls

Stop me if I’m boring you …

deer-2.jpg

WHOA Dude!

bird

I’m so ashamed …

elephant

Ha ha ha ha ha … they’ll never find it here!

jollyDat’s all I got today.  I hope you liked it, but if you dinna, will you tell Gwammie that you did so I don’ get in twouble?

** Note to readers:  All photos are finalists in the 2018 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards, sponsored by the Born Free Foundation, a wildlife conservation organization.

 

 

I Am Jolly!!!

I am Jolly!

Actually, my name is Jill and most people, children and adults alike, know me as Grannie. Some call me other things too, but we won’t go there. My new name, though, is Jolly, and definitely not because I am always chuckling, rolling around like a bowlful of jello with a twinkle in my eye. I am now Jolly because my Syrian/Iraqi neighbor, Maha, deemed it so! Try as I might to help her pronounce either “Jill” or “Grannie”, it just wasn’t happening and finally one day she declared, “I shall call you Jolly”. End of debate, and I am forever to be known as Jolly.

As far as my pronunciation of their names, I got 80% lucky. The mother is Maha and the father is Ali … both easy enough, right? Then there are the three boys … Yousef, the youngest (this kid has the most infectious giggle I have ever heard!), and Ibrahim, the middle son. I can do both of those, having studied the Middle East and come across both of these names often enough. The oldest son, however, threw me for a loop. His name, written in the English alphabet, is Tholfakar. Once I saw it written this way, it got easier, but for the first several months I knew this family, I had only heard the name and I butchered it so badly that he finally said “you can just call me Tuny”. Okay, Tuny I can do. But still, I thought it would be more respectful to try to learn the correct pronunciation, so I persevered. Eventually I thought I had it … Dumcar! Maha looked at Ali, Ali looked at Tholfakar, who nodded, and I think they decided that was as close as the deaf old lady was going to get, so it was all good and for a few months I called him Dumcar. Eventually, they gave me a card for one of the holidays and on it were all their names. Suffice it to say that the “Th” is not pronounced quite like we would pronounce it in, say, the word “that” or “thought”, but it has a sound all its own that involves the tongue and the back of the upper teeth and comes out as sort of a hybrid between our “d” and “th”. And the “O” has a long U-sound. Makes sense. Since then, I try to visualize the written name when I say his name and I do fairly well. More recently, however, I found that when his Mom or Dad want to call him, they call him “Fakar” for short … now why the heck couldn’t they have just told me that in the beginning???

My granddaughter and I have been trying to help Maha with her English, as they hope to stay in this country indefinitely. Ali works, so he is exposed to English all day, and the boys all go to school, so they are learning quite well, but since Maha has almost no interaction with anybody outside her family and ours, she is coming along much more slowly. When she wanted to borrow a bowl one day, she brought one out and said “I need one of these. What name?” I said, “bowl”. Well, guess what? That “wl” sound that we take for granted is not natural to an Arabic-speaker. Only 4 letters, such a simple word, but we spent 10 minutes on the pronunciation and to this day we both still laugh when we see a bowl.

Being semi bi-lingual (Spanish/English), I’ve always thought that English was a complex language. I mean, in Spanish every letter (a few exceptions and qualifications, but the rule generally applies more often than not) has one pronunciation and only one. Certain letters in the English alphabet, on the other hand, may have not just one or even two, but multiple pronunciations. There are rules, such as “I before E except after C”, but more often than not, the exception is more frequent than the rule. Just looking at an “A”, for example … it may be pronounced as in “fast” or “shark” or “late”, to name a few. In most cases, rather than rely on a rulebook, you simply need to know the word and how it is pronounced. So yes, English is more complex than Spanish. But … ARABIC???? A whole ‘nother ball game!!! Depending on what source you view, there are 11 or more varieties of Arabic, not to mention regional dialects, and learning Arabic for an ancient, deaf American can only be done through audio or phonetic spelling, since the Arabic alphabet الأبجدية العربية does not even resemble the English. So, this ol’ Jolly will not likely be learning Arabic in this lifetime, though frankly if I were younger and could hear better, I would certainly try! Meanwhile, you may call me … Jolly!!!