Jolly Monday … Only Jolly Is AWOL!!!

Welcome friends … it’s Monday … again.  Sigh.  Jolly is not here … the fireworks on Thursday … and Friday … and Saturday nights frightened him so badly that he has gone.  But not to worry, I have had a call from a friend who lives out in the country saying that Jolly is with her and she will send him home as soon as the #@$%? idiots here in da hood learn a little respect … or run out of firecrackers.  So, I will do my best to entertain and find something to start your week off with a smile, but I make no promises, for my own mood is sour at the moment.  Perhaps I can make my ownself laugh?

Last week, I had several comments about the level of sugar in the treats I put out, so I promised that this week would be a fruity one!  There is an exception, however, for young Benjamin who is counting on his sprinkled donut … don’t anybody else so much as look at Benjamin’s donut!  Now grab a cuppa and a piece of fruit, and let’s go in search of a bit of humour, shall we?


The Canadians have a flair for things.  On the last weekend of June, some 3,942 Canadians got together in the Canadian town of Trenton, Ontario, and made a maple leaf.  Confused?  Just watch …

Why?  It was to capture the Guinness record for largest human maple leaf.  Who knew such a record even existed?  Organizers said they were hoping to break the record with 5,000 people, but the 3,942 participants were enough to beat the previous record of 1,589 people, set in 2017 in Grouse Mountain, British Columbia.

Lest you think it was just a bit of fun without a purpose, the event was aimed at raising awareness of Solider On, a program that helps veterans and active duty military personnel participate in sports as part of therapy for permanent physical injuries and mental illness.  So, all in good fun and for a good cause!


Now, speaking of Guinness world records and such, some things are just too ridiculous.  Like this one … David Rush said he trained for three years and three months before attempting to break his own previous record.  Record for what?  For balancing a running lawnmower on his chin.  Um … yeah.  His previous record was 3 minutes and 1 second, and this time ‘round he managed 3 minutes and 52 seconds.  Take a look, if you must …

It occurs to me that some people just have too much time on their hands!  And please, friends, don’t any of you get the brilliant idea to try to beat Mr. Rush’ record, okay?


You guys remember Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, right?  Take a look at this pic …

Steve-Robert-Irwin

Pretty cool, don’t you think?


Since my sense of humour is

{knock, knock, knock}

knock-knock.gif

Just a second folks … let me see who’s at the … JOLLY!!!!

jolly

Oh Jolly, I am soooo glad to see you, for I’m falling flat on my face here … go grab something to eat, then come help me with some jokes or something …

Hey everyone!  Jolly’s back … meanwhile, I found some funny signs that I thought you might enjoy …

sign-1

sign-2

Must be some potholes!

sign-3sign-4sign-5sign-6sign-7


So, Jolly has some jokes he dug up for you guys … Jolly?

Q: Knock! Knock!

A: Who’s there?

Q: Scold.

A: Scold who?

Q: Scold outside, let me in!

 

Q: Knock, knock.
A: Who’s there?
Q: Wooden shoe.
A: Wooden shoe, who?
Q: Wooden shoe like to know!

 

Q: Knock, knock!
A: Who’s there?
Q: Wire.
A: Wire who?

Q: Wire you always asking ‘who’s there’?

 Okay, Jolly … that’s really good, but I think you need to go lie down for a while, for you’ve been out all night. Say g’nite to our friends …


And now, before I say g’nite to our friends, how about this funny bear video?


And now, I must bid you adieu.  Please don’t forget to share a smile and a kind word as you go about your week.  Keep safe and have a wonderful week!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and the sleeping Jolly!Maxine

Jolly Lunes!!!

Hey friends!  Welcome!  It is that time of the week again, isn’t it?  How was your weekend?  We actually had sunshine and blue skies, after a 10-day stretch of rain, but I almost feel guilty, for poor Keith has been besieged by wind and rain from Hurricane Florence.  If any of you guys have some extra sunshine to send him, I’m sure he would appreciate it.  I sent him some earlier. 🌞

Well, since it’s the start of a new week … oh, and by the way, autumn begins on Saturday, so don’t forget to mark your calendars for this all-important festive event!  Anyway, as I was saying, since it’s the start of a new week, let’s start off on the right foot … or in my case, the left one, since I am left-footed … and have a bit of a chuckle, shall we?  Grab a snack and a cup of your choice!  And yes, Benjamin … I remembered the donuts with sprinkles and the juice box — do I get another gold star?  ⭐


I’ve heard it said that there is nothing wrong with the education system in the U.S., despite the fact that our world-wide literacy rankings have dropped.  I beg to differ:

spell-Cincinnati-signspell-disney-epcotspell-Hard-Rock-guitarspell-metrospell-parking-signspell-schoolspell-school-entrancespell-SyracuseI’m sorry, but there is no excuse … simply NO EXCUSE!!!  Surely more than one person looks at these signs during the manufacturing process, and then somebody puts them up.  Now, granted I am not the best speller in the world, but every program I use has some form of spellcheck. If that fails, there is Grammarly.  And if all else fails, my friend Herb edits all my blog posts, post-facto, and catches my errors.  Shouldn’t people being paid for producing signs take at least as much care with their work?  Sheesh.


Sergio Odeith is a Portuguese street artist, and his work will knock your socks off!  Sergio started creating graffiti in the 90s when it was first gaining prominence in his country. He started with simple sketches on street walls and train tracks but then advanced into large-scale murals. He continued to evolve and adopted the obscure signature style, which he refers to as “sombre 3D.” This technique combines angles, lines, and shadows to create an extraordinarily life-like effect. In 2005 he gained international recognition for his anamorphic art series, which looked like something out of a science horror fiction flick, with giant spiders appearing to climb off the walls at helpless passers-by.

Not surprisingly, the Lisbon-based muralist has since been asked to design pieces in Baton Rouge, Los Angeles, Charleston and Lexington and has even received business contracts with major corporations like Coca-Cola, Samsung, and Shell.  Take a look for yourself …

Sergio-1Sergio-2Sergio-3Sergio-4Sergio-5Sergio-6


You all know I love knock-knock jokes, and I haven’t done any for several months, so … humour me:

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Amish!

Amish who?

You’re not a shoe!


Knock, knock.

Who’s there

Amish

Amish Who?

Aw How sweet. I miss you too.


Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Cows go.

Cow’s go who?

No, silly. Cows go Moo!  (Yes, I know I’ve used this one before, but it’s one of my favourites, rather like the next one …)


Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Dwayne.

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the tub, I’m dwowning!


Okay, okay … I quit with the knock-knock jokes!  I shall end with a funny animal video, ‘cause one of my readers is always disappointed if there isn’t a cute animal video …


Well, folks, I have a ton of work to do today.  The apartment complex is giving me incredible excuses as to why it may be several months before they can fix my dishwasher, but I’m to continue paying my rent, so I will be doing some legwork today with BBB and an attorney.  And, Miss Goose keeps mentioning something about decorating for Hallowe’en, so that means digging through my closet to see if I can find Hallowe’en decorations, dusting furniture, packing away some everyday what-nots, etc.  Please remember to share your smiles with people you see today … and every day.  No use keeping them to yourself, for they are one of those unique things that multiply when shared.  Keep safe and have a great week!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa jolly(and Jolly!)


toon-Maxine

This one’s for you, Hugh!  I knew you’d appreciate the reminder!

funny-1funny-2toon-1

Knock Knock … Who’s There … Jolly Monday!

bunny knocks

Knock  knock

Who’s there?

Car go

Car go who?

No, car go ‘beep beep’toy car

And now you see my mood this morning.  I’m sleepy and {yawn} cannot be held accountable for serious thoughts or actions {yawwwwwwnnn}.  But it is that day again … already … isn’t it?  What happened to the rest of the weekend?  Well, come on in … make yourselves {yawnnnn} comfortable and let me go put the coffee on … be right back.foot-tapping

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Cows go

Cows go who?

No, silly … cows go beep beep MOO

Okay … I managed to scrounge up some coffee and leftover scones … sorry rawgod, no tea today.  Now where {yawwwwwnnnnn} was I?  Oh yes … you want humour to start your week work, right?  Okay … one or two doses of humour coming right up!

 


Flying Potties …

Daughter Chris was at band competition last weekend, and after they set up their band tent, it stormed during the night on Friday and demolished their tent!  Pretty windy, but not, I think, as windy as it was in Commerce City, Colorado where port-a-potties could be seen flying through the air! At first, the skies were blue, the sun shining, people enjoying a day in the park with their children, then all of a sudden … along came the wind!  Take a look …

Congratulations, by the way, to Chris’ band, the Cincinnati Caledonian Pipes and Drums, for taking 1st place in their grade!!!  Proud of you guys!!!


Cheesy Dad …

It’s too late now, for Father’s Day is over, but keep it in mind for next year.  Kraft (yeah, the cheese people) held an auction on eBay.  The auction gave the top five bidders the opportunity to submit photos of their dads to be transformed into cheese sculptures “by bona fide cheese artists, who just so happen to be at the top of their game in the high-stakes world of professional cheese sculpting.”cheese-headThe auction’s description explains the traditional correlation between fatherhood and cheese:

“Odds are, at one point or another, your dad has exhibited cheesy behavior, i.e., cheesy jokes/cheesy shirts/cheesy music/any combination thereof. Your old man’s cheesy greatness should be celebrated. Which is why we’re offering to commemorate your dad with a big ol’ block of Kraft cheese sculpted into his likeness.”

Darn!  I wish I had known about this ahead of time, for I would have contacted a certain friend of mine and gone halves with her on the bidding 😉 😉.

All proceeds from the auction are being donated to Feeding America, “the nation’s largest domestic hunger-relief organization.”

The company included some disclaimers in the auction description:

“* Sculptures may vary by artist and their muse. (Your dad’s a muse!)

* Some men are chiseled from marble, but your dad will be sculpted from cheese – cheese that, like your dad, is not meant to be consumed.

* PLEASE DO NOT EAT.

* Seriously, don’t eat it.”

No word yet on who the winners were.


And Speaking of Red Pandas …

Yes, yes, I know we weren’t speaking of red pandas, but I came across this most adorable video of red pandas playing in the snow, and I just had to share it!


On Pizza and Potholes …

For some time now, there has been debate in our government about infrastructure projects, and meanwhile, while the debate continues, nothing is getting done.  I have a pothole right in front of my home that could swallow a small person.  Anyway, one company decided to take matters into its own hands.  Domino’s Pizza claimed that those potholes were causing the ruination of their delivery pizzas, so last week the company announced that they are partnering with U.S. cities to fill potholes and stamp them with the company’s logo to avoid letting “bad potholes ruin good pizza.”  I might debate the use of the words “good pizza” and Domino’s in the same sentence, but … Dominos potholes“Potholes, cracks and bumps in the road can cause irreversible damage to your pizza during the drive home from Domino’s.”Dominos potholes-2.jpg


Salad Emergency …

Last Tuesday, a 12-year-old child in Nova Scotia, Canada, called 911 … not once, but twice!  The emergency?  Salad.  The child contacted police via the emergency number to report that his parent had served him salad that he did not care for.   Then he called back a few minutes later to ask how much longer before help would arrive!  Now, I’m laughing, but the Halifax District Royal Canadian Mounted Police were less amused.  The RCMP did, however, go to the home and used the visit for an opportunity to have a discussion with the child regarding the proper use of 911.

 


Knock knock

Who’s there?

Europe

Europe who

No, you’re a poo!


A new world record was broken last week in Ireland.  The Strip and Dip, an annual event at Magheramore beach in County Wicklow, broke a Guinness World Record on Saturday when 2,505 women shed their clothes and spent at least 5 minutes in the chilly water.  Now personally this has no appeal to me.  I don’t like being without clothes, and I darn sure don’t like being cold.  But … well … hats off, I suppose to those brave 2,505 women who did do it!skinnydipSaid one of the participants …

“Myself and my lovely sister did the dip for the first time yesterday. I felt so honoured and proud to be among such beautiful, courageous, inspirational women. I am still buzzing today, the positive energy and vibes as we all walked down to the beach was emotional and fantastic. So proud to have been a part of it. Definitely back next year. Aren’t women just amazing.” ‎– Michelle Neary‎, participant.


What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y. 

Okay, folks, as you can see, I’m not quite at myself today, so I will go dig up some funny cartoons before one of you smacks me upside the head for the bad jokes I cannot seem to stop saying.  Keep safe and have a great week.  Be sure to share  some smiles and hugs this week, okay?  Love and hugs from Filosofa.

 

Knock-Knock … It’s Jolly Monday!!!

Welcome Friends!!!  I feel like it’s been more than a week since we had our last Jolly Monday … I’ve missed you all!  I hope you had a wonderful weekend, that everybody is well and happy, and ready to face a new week! I would like to pull a Rip van Winkle and sleep until about January, for the expensive time of year is coming up.  Daughter Chris’ birthday is the 26th, Miss Goose’s birthday is November 28th, and then, of course, there is Christmas.  I tried to convince the girls to have birthdays one year, and Christmas the next … y’know, just alternate and save a bundle.  Do you think they bought into that?  Noooooo … sigh.  Anyway, in the words of Scarlett O’Hara, “I won’t worry about that today, I’ll worry about it tomorrow.”  So for today, let us grab a cup of coffee, a bite of something, and have a few laughs together.


Leetspeak …

Yesterday I received one of those ‘milestone’ notifications from WordPress.  You know … the ones where they say “Congratulations, you now have 1,000 followers” or some such.  This one, however, confused the heck out of me:

“Congratulations on writing 1337 posts on Filosofa’s Word!”

I read it to Miss Goose, laughing as I jokingly said … “Is there some special significance to the number 1,337?”  Turns out there is, and Miss Goose knew exactly what it was.  “It’s leet,” she said.

“Leak?”

“No, leet.”

“Leap?”

“No … leetL-E-E-T! It’s an internet abbreviation, like ‘rofl’ or ‘omg’, only 1337 stands for leet.”

More confused than ever, not having a clue what she just said, I turned to Google.  Google directed me to Wikipedia who had this to say about 1337:

“Leet (or “1337”), also known as eleet or leetspeak, is an alternative alphabet for many languages that is used primarily on the Internet. It uses some characters to replace others in ways that play on the similarity of their glyphs via reflection or other resemblance. For example, leet spellings of the word leet include 1337 and l33t; eleet may be spelled 31337 or 3l33t. The term leet is derived from the word elite. The leet alphabet is a specialized form of symbolic writing.”

And I still have no clue what any of this means, so my final conclusion is that I do not care, I have more important things to think about, and that is that.  I just thought I would share this because perhaps some of you already received this message from WordPress and were confounded as I was.  Hopefully I helped clear it up for you.


A Rocking Chair or an Airplane?

Wagstaff-5Meet Trish Wagstaff.  Ms. Wagstaff is 85 years of age and a widow.  She has always been active, but after hip replacement surgery in 2002, friends thought she would slow down.  She was, after all, 70-years old!  But don’t expect to see Ms. Wagstaff in a rocking chair with knitting needles in her hand.  She will be … well here … they say a picture is worth a thousand words …

She has been on the longest zipwire in Europe and performed a catapulted paraglide, a 100m abseil down the Spinnaker Tower in Portsmouth, swum with sharks, has wing-walked and paraglided.

Trish urged other pensioners to swap the sedentary lifestyle for a bit of action. She said: “An awful lot of people in their 70s have said to me, ‘I can’t do it, I’m far too old.’ I would encourage pensioners to stop saying ‘I’m old’ and get up and do something.”

Now, I greatly admire this woman, her fortitude, stamina and courage.  But dear friends, I am only 66 and I am telling you … do not even think you will talk me into any of this!  Adventure for me these days comes in different forms, from chopping onions and trying to keep all 10 fingers intact, trying to make the socks come out even and matched, and trying not to be eaten alive by a certain Tiger Lily.  Not to mention trying to maintain sanity in this crazy world. So no, I will not be standing atop an airplane while it is flying, nor jumping out of one.  But thumbs up to Trish Wagstaff!

thumbs


Strange Robbers …

Now, I know the rule for the Jolly Monday and Saturday Surprise posts is “no politics” and I adhere to that.  What follows is not a political statement, I promise … I just thought it was too funny to pass by …

In the northern Italy town of Turin, two brothers robbed dozens of bank cash machines while wearing masks (the robbers, not the machines).  And what kind of masks were they wearing?  Take a gander …

Trump masks‘Nuff said.


What A Mess …

It is autumn, and that means festivals.  We used to go to a small Applefest in the town next to ours, where they had homemade crafts, jams, jellies, and of course every homebaked apple treat imagineable.  It used to be a lot of fun, but in recent years it has grown so big, while the town has remained so small, that you take your life into your hands just finding a place to park.  And there are too many people … the whole atmosphere just isn’t the same, so we stopped going.

But in the Maine town of Damariscotta, there is an annual Pumpkinfest and Regatta that is quite different than your average fall festival.  There is a pumpkin derby, a pumpkin catapult, an official Giant Pumpkin Parade, and pumpkin art!  But one of the main events is the pumpkin drop, where giant pumpkins are lifted high by a crane, then released and dropped onto cars!  No, silly, not cars in the parking lot, but a couple of old junkers, as best I can tell.  Watch …

I’m not sure I would want to be part of the clean-up crew!  And here is a sample of some of the pumpkin art …


What Kind of Coffee???

I am a coffee-holic … I start with coffee when I first stumble downstairs in the morning, and drink it all the way up until I go to bed, usually somewhere between 3:00 – 5:00 a.m.  Though at home I usually stick to plain Caribou blend, I will try new things, and any time Starbucks comes out with a new flavour, I give it at least one shot.  My favourite thus far is Salted Caramel Mocha, which is only available during the fall months.  Canadian coffee house Tim Horton’s came out with a new flavour this month, and while I am not sure if I would like it, I would give it a try, and might, as there is a Tim Horton’s just north of where I live.  It is … wait for it … rein in those taste buds … Buffalo-Spice Latte.  Yep, you guessed it. It is fashioned after Buffalo Chicken Wings …

Tim Hortons

A pair of Tim Horton’s locations in Buffalo, New York, have introduced a new drink combining Buffalo-flavor seasoning and seasonal lattes.  According to Stephen Goldstein, regional president of Tim Hortons U.S., “We decided to surprise our loyal guests by pairing our new handcrafted Latte with the bold Buffalo flavor that’s so iconic to the region. The unlikely pairing comes together to create an unexpectedly delicious sweet and spicy treat.”

As I said, I would at least try it, but I am unclear as to whether it is only available in the Buffalo stores, or nationwide.  Might be a good time to go visit Uncle Leon!


Knock Knock …

I love knock-knock jokes, don’t you?  Short, sweet, to the point, and funny.  I do not tell jokes well.  In fact, I have been dubbed “the worst joke teller in the world”.  More than once.  By at least 4 different people.  My timing is poor, and my memory poorer.  But, since I am typing, not telling, and you are reading, not listening, this small assortment should work out fine.  I start with one of my old favourites …

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the tub, I’m dwowning!

scroll swirl

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Luke.

Luke who?

Luke through the keyhole to see!

scroll swirl

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Isabelle.

Isabelle who?

Isabelle working, or should I keep knocking?

scroll swirl

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Somebody who can’t reach the doorbell!

scroll swirl

Knock! Knock!

Who’s there?

Figs.

Figs who?

Figs your doorbell, it’s not working!

Okay, okay … I’m done with the knock-knock jokes now.  Take pity on my poor girls …. I made them listen to every one of them and if they didn’t laugh, I repeated them.

Well, my dear friends … and make no mistake … you are my dear friends and I cherish you all.  Alas, it is time for us all to get busy and make ourselves useful in one way or another.  You already know what I will be doing.  Sigh.  Have a wonderful week, a good day today, and please … share those smiles!  Other people may not have gotten their fill of knock-knock jokes this morning and might be in need of a friendly smile.  Keep safe and have a great week!  Love & hugs!!!

toon-1'Always plant trees so that the prevailing wind blows the autumn leaves next door'toon-3toon-4toon-Maxine