Jolly December Monday!!! Brrrrrrr

Good Monday morn, my friends!!!  I hope you all had a wonderful weekend.  Winter isn’t officially here for another two weeks, but it sure felt like winter here this past weekend with temps in the 20s at night and only into the low 30s during the day.  Ah well, I guess I’m never satisfied — I complained about the heat and humidity all summer and now I’m already sick of the cold.  I sure hope Joyful has something nice and hot on the buffet to warm us this morning … let’s go check it out!

Um … JOYFUL???  Yo!!!  Joyful!!!  Jolly???   Hmmmm … this is a mystery … sorry, folks, but there doesn’t seem to be any food on the table this morning and I cannot find either Jolly or Joyful so I have no idea what’s going on!  Well, I hope to solve this mystery soon, but meanwhile, let’s have a bit of fun … howz ’bout some toons???


Check out the date on this one and it makes perfect sense!

 


As I hop around the Internet throughout the week, I sometimes stumble on something and think it would be good for Jolly Monday, but it doesn’t really fit into my usual categories, so I just save it … and usually forget about it.  Eventually, my folder for Jolly Monday stuff is overstuffed and I need to clean it out.  So, here are a few of the things that over the past few months I have collected but never remembered to use!


Still no sign of Jolly and Joyful … I wonder where they could be?  I’m so sorry there’s no bacon, no coffee, no treats today, my friends!  We’ll make up for it next week … (I hope)

Here are just a few lawyer jokes that crossed my path … lawyers are ALWAYS good for a few laughs, yes?


Well, it looks like it’s about time for … wha-what’s all this?

SURPRISE!!!

 

 



Did you guys like our little s’prise???  We went an’ borrowed a kitchen and baked all night long to make you guys some Cwistmas tweats!!! 

 

Awww … thank you so much … both of you!!!  What a great way to get into the spirit of the holiday!!!  Thanks Joyful and Jolly!!!


Well … while you’re having your little treats, what say we watch a cute critter video?


We hope you guys enjoyed the ‘toons and treats this morning and that you have a great week ahead!  Be sure to share your smiles — everybody deserves a smile of their own!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa, Jolly and Joyful!!!

Smorgasbord Laughter is the Best Medicine – The Senior Team pass the the funnies along – Legal Shenanigans

Given the state of the world, we can all use a bit of a chuckle, but sometimes it’s really hard to find! Well, I found mine over at the Smorgasbord Blog earlier today — I even laughed! And then I thought that it was rather selfish of me to keep these chuckles for myself, so I decided to share them with you guys! Thanks, Sally et al!

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

My sister Diana and her friends passed along these legal gems and we hope you enjoy..

Plus…How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place:

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

_______________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?

WITNESS: July 18th.

ATTORNEY: What year?

WITNESS: Every year.

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?

WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember…

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Jolly (COLD) Monday … I’m Tired Of Winter!

Yep, my friends, ol’ Monday has rolled back around again … already.  It’s blustery here, but we only have an inch or so of snow, whereas in other parts of the eastern half of the U.S., they have much more!  My friend Herb in the wilds of Pennsylvania tells me they are getting between 8-9 inches tonight, added to the 3 inches they already had.  It’s been a few years since we’ve had that kind of snow, but I remember it well.  I remember one year decades ago when we got some 20 inches the week of Christmas, and I didn’t yet have all my Christmas shopping done!  Luckily, the liquor store was within walking distance, so I was able to at least finish my shopping and stock up on supplies!  Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  I hope you all had a good weekend and are ready to face a new week head on!  My weekend?  C-c-cold. Since it is Monday, we should probably try to find some chuckles this morning and get this week started out on the right foot, yes?  Joyful wouldn’t let me come see what she was working on in the kitchen, but I see she’s loaded up the snack table, so let’s go see what treats she has for us, shall we?

food-eclairsfood-bfg

food-potato-leek-soupfood-homemade-bread

sprinkled-donut


Lawyer Jokes

I didn’t find any funny stories last night for our Jolly Monday, so I decided to start with a few jokes … lawyer/courtroom humour straight from Reader’s Digest …

SIX DUMB QUESTIONS REAL LAWYERS ASKED IN COURT

“How many times have you committed suicide?” “Were you alone or by yourself?” “Was it you or your brother who was killed?” “Without saying anything, tell the jury what you did next.” “Was that the same nose you broke as a child?” “Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?” From The Dumb Book (Reader’s Digest Books)

A LITTLE TOO LITERAL

If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer, you’ll need a degree. But as these court transcripts reveal, the question is, in what?

Attorney: “How was your first marriage terminated?”

Witness: “By death.”

Attorney: “And by whose death was it terminated?”

Witness: “Guess.”

*************

Attorney: “Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?”

Witness: “All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.”

ROLL CALL

I was in juvenile court, prosecuting a teen suspected of burglary, when the judge asked everyone to stand and state his or her name and role for the court reporter.

“Leah Rauch, deputy prosecutor,” I said.

“Linda Jones, probation officer.”

“Sam Clark, public defender.”

“John,” said the teen who was on trial. “I’m the one who stole the truck.”

PROTESTING TOO MUCH

Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm’s client denied the allegations. So when the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously.

“He’s lying!” he yelled. “There were only three of us.”

RUNNING THE SHOW

I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security. As part of my job, I explain court procedures to visitors. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. Court was in recess and only the clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the courtroom. “This is where the judge sits,” I began, pointing to the bench. “The lawyers sit at these tables. The court clerk sits over there. The court recorder, or stenographer, sits over here. Near the judge is the witness stand and over there is where the jury sits. As you can see,” I finished, “there are a lot of people involved in making this system work.”

At that point, the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, “Yeah, but I’m the one who makes it all happen.”


Luckily, our friend Phil over at Phil’s Phun had a good selection of ‘toons and memes to start our week out right!

toon-1toon-2toon-3toon-4toon-5toon-6toon-7toon-8toon-9toon-10toon-11toon-12

meme-1meme-2meme-3meme-4meme-5meme-6meme-7meme-8


I haven’t heard from our friend Hugh for a bit, so I’m thinking let’s send him something special …


We need an ‘Awwwww moment’, so take a look at these adorable pics …

cute-pic-1cute-pic-2cute-pic-3cute-pic-4


And of course we cannot end Jolly Monday without a cute animal video, now can we?  This one, at 8:38, is a wee bit longer than I usually post, but the monkeys are just so darned cute … I couldn’t resist!


Okay, folks, let’s get this really big shew on the road, as Ed Sullivan used to say!  Have a great week ahead, keep safe, wear your mask when in a public venue, keep warm, and share those beautiful smiles, please?  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa, Jolly, and Joyful!

Tryin’-To-Be-Jolly Monday

Good morning, friends, and welcome to the first day of a new {yawn} week.  Now, I want to start by reminding you all that today is Earth Day!  I tried … I really tried to find a way to combine Jolly Monday with an Earth Day post, but it just wasn’t working out, and finally I had to admit that it was about as much fun and as interesting as a trip to the dentist.  Part of the problem, of course, is that Jolly is in the shop for repairs and without him I’m … well … Jolly-less.  Sigh.  I may have an Earth Day post this afternoon if I can quell the mind bounce and focus later on, but for this morning, I think we shall just try to have a bit of humour with which to start our week, okay?

I did not bake this morning, so you’ll have to settle for treats from the local donut place.  Leave the one with sprinkles for Benjamin, okay?  It’s the only kind he likes. Grab a bite and let’s see what we can find to bring a smile to our faces. 

 


…………………………………………………………………………. 🤔

…………………………………………. 🤔

…………………………….. 💭

……….  😣

Okay, well … um … that worked out well, didn’t it?  Tell you what … how ‘bout I dig up some jokes?

A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking. As the night goes on, they get drunk, and the giraffe finally passes out. The man decides to go home.

As he’s leaving, the man is approached by the barkeeper who says, “Hey, you’re not gonna leave that lyin’ here, are ya?”

“Hmph,” says the man. “That’s not a lion — it’s a giraffe.”

Um … yeah … fell flat, huh?  Let me try again …

Q: What do you get when you cross a bear with a deer?

A: Beer.

Not even a chuckle, eh?  One more try … lawyer jokes are always good for a grin at least …

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.

“Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?”

”Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the–”

”I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted. ”Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?”

”Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road–”

”Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.” By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and told the lawyer so.

”Well,” said the farmer, “as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ol’ Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, ‘Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?'”

Ah, at least a few grins, so I think I’ll quit with the jokes while I’m ahead … kinda sorta.  Okay.  I have no choice but to revert to my old standby … cute critters.  {Oh Jolly, please get well soon … I NEED you!}


According to one site … a couple, actually … these are the ten cutest animals in the world:

Cute-hedgehogs

Fun Fact: Hedgehogs are largely immune to snake venom.

Hedgehogs are spiny mammals that can be found in Asia, Africa and Europe. Although they look more like a rat but are undeniably cute and harmless too. Which is the reason they are increasing in popularity as exotic pets. If you are looking for a cute pet which is also unique in itself, go get a hedgehog.

Little-Baby-Penguin

Fun Fact: Penny the Little Penguin was the mascot for the 2007 FINA World Swimming Championships held in Melbourne, Victoria

What could possibly be anything cuter than penguins, it’s their little version. These penguins are absolutely similar to normal penguins except for the size. Their small size make them much more cute than normal ones, so much so they can be said one of the top 10 cutest animals on earth.

Northern-Pygmy-Owls

Fun Facts: Northern little owls often take prey same size or larger than themselves.

Northern Pygmy Owls are small owls native to western north America. These little birds are the smallest species of owl. Adults are 15-17 cm in overall length (nearly 6 inches) and are gray, brownish-gray or rufous in color.

Cute-Koala-Bears

Fun Fact: Koalas do not drink much water as they get most of their moisture from the leaves they eat. Even the word “koala” means “no water”.

Koalas are easily recognizable animal by its stout, tailless body and large head with round, fluffy ears and large, spoon-shaped nose. The koala has a body length of 60-85 cm and weighs 4-15 kg. Koals are very cute animals, and their face has innocent kind of expression, which just enhances the adorableness.

Arctic-Foxes-Cute-Animal

Fun Fact: Arctic foxes can survive extreme cold, they won’t start shivering until temperature go lower than -70 degree Celsius.

Arctic foxes also known as polar foxes or snow foxes are the breed of fox adapted to live in extreme cold environment. Their round body shape is good to minimize heat escaping from the body, and it also give them a very cute fluffy look.

Cute-Red-Pandas

Fun Fact: They are Herbivorous Carnivoran, means genetically they belong to carnivore group but are more similar to Giant pandas (which are herbivorous).

Red pandas are mammals native to the eastern Himalayas and southwestern China. Even though, their name consists of Panda, genetically they are not closely related to Giant Pandas.

They have reddish-brown fur, a long, shaggy tail, and a waddling gait due to its shorter front legs, and is slightly larger than a domestic cat.

They are an endangered species. Habitat loss and fragmentation, poaching, and inbreeding depression, although red pandas are protected by national laws in their range countries.

White-Pomeranian-DOG

Fun Fact: Two dogs were rescued from Titanic wreckage and one of them was a Pomeranian.

Pomeranians are also known as toy dogs due to their small size and cute teddy bear like appearance. They are continuously going smaller in size. But their smaller size is rapidly increasing their popularity.

In terms of registration figures, since at least 1998, the breed has ranked among the top twenty most popular breeds in the USA, and the current fashion for small dogs has increased their popularity worldwide.

Baby-Bunnies

Fun Fact: Rabbits have a lot of babies. Mommas can give birth as much as nine babies each year.

Rabbits are small cute herbivorous mammals that are some of the most popular pet animals on earth. Rabbits come in many different colours and patterns, just like cats and dogs, and are family friendly. Although require some special measures around kids due to those little teeth, that can easily pierce human skin.

Cute-Fennec-Fox

Fun Fact: Those oversized ears are not only excellent for listening purposes but also serve as a way to dissipate heat and keep cool in the desert environment.

Fennec Foxes are exotic animals that you can also have as pet, though they require different treatment than domestic cats and dogs. They are extremely playful and family friendly, even look more like a mix of cat and dog than a fox. Their furry body, small size and big ears make them one of the cutest animals on earth.

Cute-Persian-Cats

Fun Fact: Persian Cats‘ long hair look may look like it requires high maintenance. But in reality, they are considered to be one of the most low maintenance and friendliest cat breeds.

Even though almost all of the cat breeds are cute. Watching a playing kitten in the early morning puts a big smile on your face. If you’re are an animal lover, you most likely have a cat or dog in your home or around you right now. If you own a cat and it’s not Persian, so please don’t be upset. But we’re choosing Persian cat for this entry as they’re tiny bit more cute than other cats.  Note:  We have a part-Persian and she is the meanest darn cat I’ve ever known.  We named her Tiger Lily before we knew how ornery she was!


Friends, this isn’t much of a Jolly Monday post, and for that I apologize.  I’ve had the wind knocked out of my sails in the past week, between the Mueller report and related reactions, the Notre-Dame fire, and yesterdays horrific bombings in Sri Lanka and I just can’t find my humorous side, especially with Jolly gone.  Next week … I promise to do better.  Meanwhile, have a great week, and please, find a smile and share it with someone this week.  Love and hugs from Filosofa … and the missing Jolly!Maxine