Jolly M-M-Monday!!!

Good Monday morning, my friends, and welcome!  Please overlook the messy house … with the air-conditioning out this weekend, I haven’t felt like doing much to the house.  How was your weekend?  I didn’t bake for you this morning, again because the house is hot and muggy, but Jolly dug up a few things, and we made sure to remember Benjamin’s donut with sprinkles and juice box!  And rawgod’s tea.  And even Larry’s bacon!  So, grab a bite and let’s find some fun stuff to start our week off with a laugh or two, shall we?

 

 

Larry's bacon

Sorry, Larry, you’ll have to cook it yourself, for it’s too hot to have the oven on!

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Polite intruders …

Imagine waking up in the middle of the night to find a stranger cooking himself breakfast in your kitchen.  It happened in Safety Harbour, Florida, about 15 miles from Tampa Bay.  The residents of the house woke to the smell of breakfast, and when they went to the kitchen to investigate, there was a man, Gavin Crim, cooking himself a nice little breakfast.  He was polite … told the owners to go on back to sleep, he’d clean up after himself.

Apparently, conscientious burglars were a bit of a thing in Florida last week: On Monday, a woman in Pensicola returned home to discover a man holding a purple Swiffer mop and attempting to clean up her house.

Shortly after 3:00 a.m., police responded to a call from a woman claiming a strange man was in the house. The woman, who requested anonymity, said she had barricaded herself in a back room.

When officers arrived, they found Tyler Matthew Smith still holding a Swiffer. Apparently Smith, 33, had already swept up glass he broke to get into the home into a dustpan. “It appeared Smith had attempted to clean up the mess,” reads the Pensacola Police Department report.  Okay, well … I guess it pays to be polite if you’re in somebody else’s home, right?


Some pricey sneakers!

What did you pay for your last pair of sneakers?  I’m a frugal person, and it nearly killed me to replace my old ones back in July 2018 … after all, I had only had them for 6 or 7 years, but they were holey and the sole had come loose on one, which meant I was in danger of falling flat on my face.  But, when I found a new pair of Reeboks that I thought would meet my needs, I nearly had heart failure seeing the price tag of $48.19!!!  I think the pair before that cost only around $29!  I mean … it’s shoes, not a new computer!!!  To add insult to injury, I’m not all that happy with them, but … they are going to have to last for the rest of my life at that price!  Anyway …

Sotheby’s auction house and retailer Stadium Goods have paired up in an online auction of … the world’s rarest sneakers!  Now, before you get all excited and think about owning a pair of these gems, check the status of your bank balance, and if it isn’t at least 5 digits, don’t bother.  Take a gander at this one, for example …

Nike-moon-shoe

This is the Nike Waffle Racing Flat Moon Shoe, a handmade running shoe designed by Nike co-founder Bill Bowerman, and one of only a few pair in existence.  These are expected to fetch around $160,000 at auction.  Pick your jaws up off the floor now.  Or how about these …shoes-2

They are the Nike SB Dunk Low with artwork by French painter Bernard Buffet.  Um, okay, but if you bought those and paid say even a lowball $50,000 for them, could you really bring yourself to wear them out walking, or even to the grocery store?

Now these …

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… are the once-fictional sneaker worn by Marty McFly in Back to the Future Part 2. Nike released only 26 pairs of the 2016 self-lacing version, the proceeds of which benefited the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research. Due to the power-lacing feature and extreme rarity, a size 11 pair up for auction is estimated to sell for up to $70,000.  Self-lacing???  Who knew?

Marty-McFly

These are more to my liking …

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The “Chanel x Pharrell x Adidas NMD Hu TR – 1-of-1 for Karl Lagerfeld” is said to be one of the most coveted models in the collection.  It was released only at a special Chanel pop-up shop at Colette in Paris in extremely limited quantities, but this shoe is even more special. It features a modified design that replaces “Chanel” across the top of the right shoe with “Karl” and was given exclusively to Karl Lagerfeld as a gift from Pharrell.  Sorry folks, but no, I am definitely not paying $50,000 for a pair of shoes to slog through the mud in!

As I say at least 10 times a week … Some people got more money than sense.


Cheers for Governor Sununu!

Wendy Auger of Rochester, New Hampshire, has had the same vanity license plate for some 15 years now.  It reads “PB4WEGO”.  Suddenly this year, Wendy got a ‘recall letter’ from the state’s Department of Motor Vehicles, asking her to turn in her plates for new ones.  Why?  Because apparently, after 15 years, somebody figured out what her license plate says and decided they “do not conform to legal requirements”.  Why?  Because the state says phrases related to “excretory acts” aren’t permitted.  Oh for Pete’s Sake!!!  Has the State of New Hampshire nothing better to worry about?PB4WEGO“I’m not a political activist. But this is a non-offensive thing that I’ve had and it’s part of who we are as a family and who I am and there was zero reason for them to take it away.”

Well, Ms. Auger’s story somehow came to the attention of New Hampshire Governor Chris Sununu, who rallied to the cause!  According to the governor …

“Upon this being brought to my attention, I reached out to the Division of Motor Vehicles and strongly urged them to allow Wendy to keep the license plate she has had for the last 15 years.  I recently left a message on her phone to share the good news that her plate will not be recalled.”

What a nice governor … don’t you just wish all politicos were like that?


And speaking of license plates …

In Australia, starting this year, drivers can get license plates with emojis!  😄 😉 😎 😍 ☺️ Plates will still need three letters and two numbers, as the emojis will not be included in official registration numbers. However drivers can decorate them with one of five decorative emojis — “laugh out loud,” “wink,” “sunglasses,” “heart eyes” or “smile” — for up to AU$500 ($350).

emoji-plateemoji-plate-2emoji-plate-3emoji-plate-4


I was looking for a few knock-knock jokes to knock you guys out with, but first … I came across this one …

Two country dudes are walking down a dirt path. One man has a big sack over his shoulder. The other man asks what’s in the sack.

The first man says, “I got me some chickens for dinner tonight.”

The other man asks how many chickens are in the sack.

“Well, I’ll tell you,” replies the first guy, “If you can guess how many chickens I got in this here sack, I’ll give them both to you.”

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Or how ‘bout this one …

A blonde goes to the library to get a book. A few days later, she comes back and says to librarian at the counter, “This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so I would like to return it.”

The librarian says to her coworkers, “So here’s the person who took our phone book!”

😁😁😁😁😁

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Spell.

Spell who?

Okay, okay: W. H. O.

knock-knock

Okay, okay … stop rolling your eyes!!!  🙄


And last, but not least, if it’s Jolly Monday, then there must be a cute animal video somewhere, mustn’t there?  Now … where did I put that … JOLLY!!! Where’s that animal video you found last … oh … yeah … here it is …


jollyWell, folks, it’s that time again … time to put on your workweek smiles and go do things to make other people happy so that they will give you money at the end of the week.  I shall stay here and risk ulcers trolling the news of the day so that I can give YOU ulcers when you return home each night!  Seriously, though, have a wonderful week, and remember to share those gorgeous smiles with others, okay?  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!Maxine

Jolly Funday Monday

Huh?  woman-coffeeWhat are you guys doing here … you’re a day early … it’s not Monday yet!  It is?  Whoa … I’ve lost a day … I thought it was still Sunday … where did Sunday go?  Okay, well … give me just a minute … luckily, I did some baking last night, so let me see what I can rustle up …

{Pssst … Jolly!  Run down to Krispy Kreme and get Benjamin’s sprinkled donuts for me … and be quick!}

Okay, well, while I throw a few things together here, tell me all about your weekend!  Mine? One word describes it well:  H-O-T.  I cannot believe it’s August already, though!  The kids here will be going back to school in just 10 days … much as I love seeing all the kids here in da hood out having fun, I’m frankly ready to see them climb back on that big yellow bus, ‘cause they’ve been picking my flowers, and throwing their trash on my patio, and … they just need to get back to school.

Okay, I think we’ve got a few snacks and some fresh coffee now, so grab a bite and let’s find something to start the week off with a smile, okay?


Not in MY freezer …

Remember last week … or was it the week before … when we had ice cream for Jolly Monday … or was it Saturday Surprise?  Anyway … remember when I featured ice cream?  Well, here’s one ice cream you’ll never find in my freezer!  It’s made by Oscar Meyer … yeah, the people who make bologna and hot dogs … and it’s called an Ice Dog Sandwich. Oscar-Meyers-ice-cream-sandwich-includes-bits-of-candied-hot-dog-meatThe sandwich, which features cookies as “buns,” contains bits of candied hot dog meat and spicy mustard ice cream.  The company said its Wienermobile will drive around Manhattan during the week of Aug. 12 to distribute free samples of the unusual dessert.

Oh, and the ‘spicy mustard ice cream’ is a creation of famed mustard-maker French’s, and will be available at select locations during the summer.  To celebrate National Mustard Day last Saturday, the “French’s Mustard Ice Cream Truck” rolled around various hot spots in New York City.  Oh, and French’s also has plans for a ‘pretzel cookie’ to serve with the mustard ice cream. mustard-ice-cream

One word:  blech  🤢


There’s a snake in my bed!

My father-in-law once told me a story.  He said that long ago, back when he and my mother-in-law were young and newly married, they lived in a little house in the mountains of Virginia.  He said that one night he had a dream that a snake had slithered across his body, then went into an open dresser drawer on the other side of the bedroom.  The next morning, he said, they got up and when he looked in that open dresser drawer, there was in fact a snake coiled in the drawer.  Now, I loved both of my in-laws dearly, but Quinter could spin a yarn, so I was never quite sure if I believed him, though he swore it to be the truth.

Last week, Melinda Major of Nashville, Tennessee, was staying overnight at the Hampton Inn Walnut Grove in Memphis, Tennessee, and when she woke on Friday morning, she said she first felt something on her arm and opened her eyes to discover a green snake slithering across her body.  She flipped the snake off of her, jumped out of bed and called the hotel’s front desk. snake-in-bedNow, I’m not sure … I suppose it would be a bit off-putting to wake up to a snake crawling around on you, but … a little green snake is very unlikely to be of a harmful breed, likely just a little garden snake … seems to me she might have over-reacted a bit.  Still, the hotel gave her the night’s stay for free, so I guess she was happy … and they didn’t kill the snake, but led him back out into a grassy area, so the snake is likely happy.


Now that’s a mouthful!!!

I first came across this story on UPI (United Press International), and I thought it to be questionable.  I ran it by daughter Chris, my frequent Jolly Monday editor, and in her professional opinion, she agreed that it seemed a bit far-fetched, so I tabled the story.  But then, it kept popping back up in other places, reputable news outlets such as NPR, CBS News, etc.  So, I share this ‘truth is stranger than fiction’ story.

A 7-year-old boy in India had a very swollen and achy jaw. In fact, his jaw had begun swelling when he was 3 years old, but his parents felt he was too young to visit a dentist at that time.  Four years later, they finally took him to the Saveetha Dental College and Hospital in Chennai, India, where surgeons were amazed at what they found.

The boy’s condition, known as compound odontoma, is not unheard of.  It involves a “bag-like mass” in the mouth that contains teeth … extra teeth.  But what did amaze surgeons was the number of teeth they extracted from the mass … 562!!!  It took the surgeons five hours to remove all the teeth from the mass.  Each tooth, which varied in size from 1 mm to 15 mm, displayed a crown covered by enamel and with a rootlike structure.teeth.jpgNobody has mentioned a Guinness World Record yet, but it is said to be “the first ever case to be documented worldwide, where so many minute teeth were found in a single individual.”


I dropped in over at Phil’s Phun and found a few funny pics ‘n toons …

Funny-1funny-2funny-3funny-4funny-5


And of course I must finish with a cute animal video … today’s choice is Polar Bears!!!


And ‘specially for our friend Hugh …


jollyAlright, folks, that wraps up another Jolly Monday.  I hope you all have a wonderful week, and friends … remember it’s hard times these days … share a smile with someone who’s having a hard time right now.  They will feel just a bit happier, and so will you.  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa & Jolly!

Jolly ICE CREAM Monday!!!

jollyGood morning, friends, and welcome!  It’s Jolly Monday time … the best way to start the new week!  Guess what!  Yesterday was National Ice Cream Day, but since you weren’t here yesterday, but you’re here today, we will have a slightly belated celebration!  I’ll have a bit of trivia for you in a minute, but first, the treats today are all different sorts of ice cream treats that Jolly and I spent half the night putting together!  Except, of course, for Benjamin’s sprinkled donut and juice box.  And David’s rhubarb crumble.  And Larry’s bacon.  So, grab whatever appeals to you and let’s learn a little bit about … ice cream!

 

 

 

bacon

Larry’s bacon


The origins of ice cream … here and there

cone-1Thousands of years ago, people in the Persian Empire put snow in a bowl, poured concentrated grape-juice over it, and ate it as a treat. Even when the weather was hot, they would savor this sweet treat. Their trick? They placed snow in underground chambers known as yakchal where the temperatures kept the snow from melting. The Persians also hiked to the mountain tops by their summer capital to gather snowfall.

The Chinese, under the Tang Dynasty around 697 AD, took to freezing dairy with salt and ice. However, the results aren’t exactly the ice cream we enjoy today. Frozen treats and beverages later, culinary folks point to Naples, Italy as the birthplace of the first ice cream. They give credit to Antonio Latini. He was born in 1642 and created a milk-based sorbet.

In the United States, the Quaker colonists earn the nod for bringing their ice recipes over with them. They opened the first ice cream shops, including shops in New York and other cities during the colonial era.  It was in 1984 that President Ronald Reagan proclaimed July as National Ice Cream Month and established National Ice Cream Day as the third Sunday in July.

cone-2And now that you know how it all came about, here’s a bit of trivia for you …

  • Ben Franklin, George Washington, and Thomas Jefferson enjoyed ice cream.
  • 1813 -First Lady Dolley Madison served ice cream at the Inaugural Ball.
  • 1832 – African American confectioner, Augustus Jackson, created multiple ice cream recipes as well as a superior technique to manufacture ice cream.
  • 1843 – Philadelphian, Nancy Johnson, received the first U.S. patent for a small-scale hand-cranked ice cream freezer.
  • 1920 – Harry Burt puts the first ice cream trucks on the streets.

Thomas Jefferson’s recipe for Old Fashioned Vanilla Ice Cream is believed to be the oldest recipe for ice cream in the USA. The recipe below is provided by the Library of Congress.

Thomas-Jefferson-ice-cream-recipe


I figure since we’ve come this far, we might as well make the theme of this week’s Jolly Monday be ice cream … that okay with you guys?

Moving on then, here’s a funny story I found about ice cream …

A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors.

“This is the second time I have written to you, and I don’t blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of having ice-cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies. Every night, after we’ve eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have, and I drive down to the store to get it. It’s also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem…..

You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from the store my car won’t start. If I get any other kind of ice-cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I’m serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds. What is there about a Pontiac
that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice-cream and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?”

The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an Engineer to check it out anyway.

The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well-educated man in a fine neighborhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice-cream store. It was vanilla ice-cream that night and, sure enough,
after they came back to the car, it wouldn’t start.  The Engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.

Now the Engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man’s car was allergic to vanilla ice-cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: He jotted down all sorts of
data:  Time of day, type of gas used, time to drive back and forth etc.

In a short time, he had a clue: The man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavor. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavor, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavors were kept in
the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavor.

Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn’t start when it took less time. Eureka – Time was now the problem – not the vanilla ice-cream!!!!

The engineer quickly came up with the answer: “Vapor Lock”.

It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavors allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the Vapor Lock to dissipate.


Humans are not the only ones who like ice cream, y’know …

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I cannot finish up Jolly Monday without a funny animal video, and I just happened to find one that ties in with the theme of the day!


I think I might like to try this flavour …ice-cream-7.jpg

Even Maxine loves ice cream!

Maxine-ice-cream


jollyAnd now, folks, it is time for you to go start your week off.  First, I might suggest that you walk or jog to work, to work off all those calories from the ice cream!  Remember to share a few of those smiles … um … wipe the ice cream from your mouth first, though!  Have a wonderful week, my friends!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!

Jolly Monday … Only Jolly Is AWOL!!!

Welcome friends … it’s Monday … again.  Sigh.  Jolly is not here … the fireworks on Thursday … and Friday … and Saturday nights frightened him so badly that he has gone.  But not to worry, I have had a call from a friend who lives out in the country saying that Jolly is with her and she will send him home as soon as the #@$%? idiots here in da hood learn a little respect … or run out of firecrackers.  So, I will do my best to entertain and find something to start your week off with a smile, but I make no promises, for my own mood is sour at the moment.  Perhaps I can make my ownself laugh?

Last week, I had several comments about the level of sugar in the treats I put out, so I promised that this week would be a fruity one!  There is an exception, however, for young Benjamin who is counting on his sprinkled donut … don’t anybody else so much as look at Benjamin’s donut!  Now grab a cuppa and a piece of fruit, and let’s go in search of a bit of humour, shall we?


The Canadians have a flair for things.  On the last weekend of June, some 3,942 Canadians got together in the Canadian town of Trenton, Ontario, and made a maple leaf.  Confused?  Just watch …

Why?  It was to capture the Guinness record for largest human maple leaf.  Who knew such a record even existed?  Organizers said they were hoping to break the record with 5,000 people, but the 3,942 participants were enough to beat the previous record of 1,589 people, set in 2017 in Grouse Mountain, British Columbia.

Lest you think it was just a bit of fun without a purpose, the event was aimed at raising awareness of Solider On, a program that helps veterans and active duty military personnel participate in sports as part of therapy for permanent physical injuries and mental illness.  So, all in good fun and for a good cause!


Now, speaking of Guinness world records and such, some things are just too ridiculous.  Like this one … David Rush said he trained for three years and three months before attempting to break his own previous record.  Record for what?  For balancing a running lawnmower on his chin.  Um … yeah.  His previous record was 3 minutes and 1 second, and this time ‘round he managed 3 minutes and 52 seconds.  Take a look, if you must …

It occurs to me that some people just have too much time on their hands!  And please, friends, don’t any of you get the brilliant idea to try to beat Mr. Rush’ record, okay?


You guys remember Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, right?  Take a look at this pic …

Steve-Robert-Irwin

Pretty cool, don’t you think?


Since my sense of humour is

{knock, knock, knock}

knock-knock.gif

Just a second folks … let me see who’s at the … JOLLY!!!!

jolly

Oh Jolly, I am soooo glad to see you, for I’m falling flat on my face here … go grab something to eat, then come help me with some jokes or something …

Hey everyone!  Jolly’s back … meanwhile, I found some funny signs that I thought you might enjoy …

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sign-2

Must be some potholes!

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So, Jolly has some jokes he dug up for you guys … Jolly?

Q: Knock! Knock!

A: Who’s there?

Q: Scold.

A: Scold who?

Q: Scold outside, let me in!

 

Q: Knock, knock.
A: Who’s there?
Q: Wooden shoe.
A: Wooden shoe, who?
Q: Wooden shoe like to know!

 

Q: Knock, knock!
A: Who’s there?
Q: Wire.
A: Wire who?

Q: Wire you always asking ‘who’s there’?

 Okay, Jolly … that’s really good, but I think you need to go lie down for a while, for you’ve been out all night. Say g’nite to our friends …


And now, before I say g’nite to our friends, how about this funny bear video?


And now, I must bid you adieu.  Please don’t forget to share a smile and a kind word as you go about your week.  Keep safe and have a wonderful week!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and the sleeping Jolly!Maxine

Jolly Monday … sans Jolly

Wha … what?  It … it’s Monday???  Nobody told me!  I thought it was … I dunno what day I thought it was, but … Monday never crossed my mind.  Hold up … have a seat … let me … let me just go get some clothes on, okay?  Um … I’ll be back in a jiffy.

Monday-sleepy-2

Okay … that’s better … I don’t have much to offer today, but there’s coffee ‘n donuts over on the table … help yourself and then let’s find something to help us start the week off with a laugh, shall we?

coffeetea-2 eggssprinkled donutsjuice boxes


You’re how old???

I came across a story in The Guardian that caused my jaw to drop.  Did you know that in South Korea they tally a person’s age a bit differently than we do?  Every newborn baby turns one on the day they are born and two on the next New Year’s Day.  This means that a baby born say just a few minutes before midnight on December 31st, would be counted as being two-years-old when it was but a few minutes old!

When asked their age by a foreigner, many South Koreans give both their “Korean age” and “international age”.  The system’s origins are unclear. One theory is that turning one year old at birth takes into account time spent in the womb – with nine months rounded up to 12. Others link it to an ancient Asian numerical system that did not have the concept of zero.

Now think about this … if the age for a child to start school is five-years-old, then the kid born on New Year’s Eve is going to have to start school at age three!  Of course, there is a benefit on the other end … you could retire two years earlier!


Where did I leave my brain?

I came across some fun things over at Bored Panda … things that make you think maybe somebody wasn’t thinking too clearly …

Oops-1

Did Brian not ever notice?  I’m not sure who is dingier, Rachel or Brian.

 

Oops-3

Didn’t they mean the date it was installed?

 

Oops-4

Oops-5

Oops-6


Oops-7

Oops-8

 


Where’s da panda?

I came across this brain teaser created by Hungarian artist Gergely Dudás last night.  Can you find the panda among the sea of snowmen?  I couldn’t, but I do know where it is, so later today I’ll post the answer in comments.

Panda-snowmen.png


Is it a horse … or a dog?

Last, but not least, we must have our cute animal video of the week, yes?  We’ve all seen or heard of miniature horses, but this little girl named Martha is said to be the tiniest, fuzziest horse in the world!  Take a look …


I know this is a short Jolly Monday, but frankly Jolly has buried his head under the covers and is refusing to come out … I think he’s missing our young friend Benjamin … and I just can’t do humour so well without my Jolly.  So, let’s wrap up with a few funny ‘toons, and a wish that you have a great week ahead!  Be sure to share your smiles this week, okay?  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and the pouting Jolly!

toon-1

toon-2toon-3toon-4

toon-5

And for our dear friend Hugh …

toon-Maxine

Jolly Monday — A Cake, Candles, Kimmel, and A Grannie House

Good Monday morning, my friends!  I hope you all had a great weekend!  Mine was fine, but as usual, I am ready to return to the routine, and I have plenty to keep me busy this week!  So what did you guys do … anything fun?

I have gone in search of, and found, a few things I think will bring a smile to your face to start the week off on the right foot, so grab a cuppa and a snack, and let’s get this show on the road, shall we?  Oh … by the way … I baked a cake …

Image result for cake

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Don’t try this at home …

Do you guys remember the Jolly Monday post of last November 19th, where I told you about David Rush from Idaho, the man who set a Guinness record for eating the most kernels of corn with a toothpick?  Well, seems Mr. Rush rather enjoyed his 15 minutes of fame and decided to go for another record.  I think, perhaps, he ought to have stuck with the corn-eating where the worst that was likely to happen was that he might choke on a kernel, else poke himself in the eye with the toothpick.

His latest scheme was a bit more potentially dangerous, though he seems to have survived it.  This time, he decided to shoot for the record of holding the most lit candles in his mouth at one time!

Frankly, the worst part as I watched the video was watching him put the candles in his mouth, for I have a sensitive gag reflex and would never have gotten 10 of them in my mouth!  He set the record, holding 100 burning candles in his mouth for 30 seconds.  Congratulations, I guess, Mr. Rush.  The previous record was held by Dinesh Shivnath Upadhyaya of Mumbai, India.  Mr. Upadhyaya held 41 burning candles in his mouth in 2018.


No wonder we’re in trouble …

You know how comedian Jimmy Kimmel likes to do his ‘man on the street’ thing every now and then, where he takes to the street and asks people questions … usually deceptively simple questions?  Well, the other day he was out on the street asking people if they thought ‘homo sapiens’ should be saved from extinction.  Now, we all know that homo sapiens is the scientific name for the human species, but it may well be that some people didn’t get that memo back in about 3rd grade.  Here were some of the answers to his question …

It speaks for itself, which is a good thing, for I am left with my mouth hanging open, speechless.


A place for … MOI???

I was trolling around my usual internet haunts looking for things for this Jolly Monday post, when I came across this headline …

Amazon’s Selling A Guesthouse ‘Kit’ That You Can Build In Your Backyard In 8 Hours

I read it to the girls, and jokingly said it might be a place they could put me when I am ornery.  Immediately, Chris’ eyes lit up and she said …

“How much is it?”

She said it with gusto.  Even Miss Goose turned around and had that eager-puppy look in her eyes.  Hmph.

Anyway, it is rather cool.

[The] Solvalla garden house kit is made from high quality solid Nordic wood,” the company writes on its website. “This timeless design is an alternative to classic log cabin styled structures. It works well in a variety of surroundings and can be a guesthouse, home office, granny flat, or even a retail space. Versatile Solvalla can also be set up on rooftops of multi-story buildings. Assembly of this solid wood structure takes a full day for two adults. Do it yourself simple step-by-step directions come with the kit and only minimal tools are needed.”

The total floor area is 172 square feet (16 square meters).

The structure weighs approximately 2480 pounds (1125 kilos).

Allwood is offering the product for a mere $6,550, which I guess is a small price for a safe place to stow your grannie when she gets mouthy.

If you want to add anything extra like HVAC or electricity to this DIY home, you’ll need to figure out how to do that yourself. It doesn’t include any of these amenities.  Hmmm … I’m thinking we could run a heavy-duty indoor-outdoor extension cord and use a power strip and … WAIT … what am I saying???


And what would Jolly Monday be without a cute animal video?

Or a cartoon or two …

Related image

Sorry guys … I just couldn’t resist that one!

Image result for funny cartoons


jollyAnd that’s a wrap for today, my friends!  Miss Goose just woke me to let me know that I had fallen asleep (so kind of her, yes?) with fingers on the keyboard, and so, I must wrap this up and take my weary bones to bed for a few hours.  Please, if you found something to bring a smile to your face here, share that smile with others … we all need a bit of a pick-me-up these days.  Have a great week!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!

Tryin’-To-Be-Jolly Monday

Good morning, friends, and welcome to the first day of a new {yawn} week.  Now, I want to start by reminding you all that today is Earth Day!  I tried … I really tried to find a way to combine Jolly Monday with an Earth Day post, but it just wasn’t working out, and finally I had to admit that it was about as much fun and as interesting as a trip to the dentist.  Part of the problem, of course, is that Jolly is in the shop for repairs and without him I’m … well … Jolly-less.  Sigh.  I may have an Earth Day post this afternoon if I can quell the mind bounce and focus later on, but for this morning, I think we shall just try to have a bit of humour with which to start our week, okay?

I did not bake this morning, so you’ll have to settle for treats from the local donut place.  Leave the one with sprinkles for Benjamin, okay?  It’s the only kind he likes. Grab a bite and let’s see what we can find to bring a smile to our faces. 

 


…………………………………………………………………………. 🤔

…………………………………………. 🤔

…………………………….. 💭

……….  😣

Okay, well … um … that worked out well, didn’t it?  Tell you what … how ‘bout I dig up some jokes?

A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking. As the night goes on, they get drunk, and the giraffe finally passes out. The man decides to go home.

As he’s leaving, the man is approached by the barkeeper who says, “Hey, you’re not gonna leave that lyin’ here, are ya?”

“Hmph,” says the man. “That’s not a lion — it’s a giraffe.”

Um … yeah … fell flat, huh?  Let me try again …

Q: What do you get when you cross a bear with a deer?

A: Beer.

Not even a chuckle, eh?  One more try … lawyer jokes are always good for a grin at least …

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.

“Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?”

”Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the–”

”I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted. ”Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?”

”Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road–”

”Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.” By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and told the lawyer so.

”Well,” said the farmer, “as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ol’ Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, ‘Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?'”

Ah, at least a few grins, so I think I’ll quit with the jokes while I’m ahead … kinda sorta.  Okay.  I have no choice but to revert to my old standby … cute critters.  {Oh Jolly, please get well soon … I NEED you!}


According to one site … a couple, actually … these are the ten cutest animals in the world:

Cute-hedgehogs

Fun Fact: Hedgehogs are largely immune to snake venom.

Hedgehogs are spiny mammals that can be found in Asia, Africa and Europe. Although they look more like a rat but are undeniably cute and harmless too. Which is the reason they are increasing in popularity as exotic pets. If you are looking for a cute pet which is also unique in itself, go get a hedgehog.

Little-Baby-Penguin

Fun Fact: Penny the Little Penguin was the mascot for the 2007 FINA World Swimming Championships held in Melbourne, Victoria

What could possibly be anything cuter than penguins, it’s their little version. These penguins are absolutely similar to normal penguins except for the size. Their small size make them much more cute than normal ones, so much so they can be said one of the top 10 cutest animals on earth.

Northern-Pygmy-Owls

Fun Facts: Northern little owls often take prey same size or larger than themselves.

Northern Pygmy Owls are small owls native to western north America. These little birds are the smallest species of owl. Adults are 15-17 cm in overall length (nearly 6 inches) and are gray, brownish-gray or rufous in color.

Cute-Koala-Bears

Fun Fact: Koalas do not drink much water as they get most of their moisture from the leaves they eat. Even the word “koala” means “no water”.

Koalas are easily recognizable animal by its stout, tailless body and large head with round, fluffy ears and large, spoon-shaped nose. The koala has a body length of 60-85 cm and weighs 4-15 kg. Koals are very cute animals, and their face has innocent kind of expression, which just enhances the adorableness.

Arctic-Foxes-Cute-Animal

Fun Fact: Arctic foxes can survive extreme cold, they won’t start shivering until temperature go lower than -70 degree Celsius.

Arctic foxes also known as polar foxes or snow foxes are the breed of fox adapted to live in extreme cold environment. Their round body shape is good to minimize heat escaping from the body, and it also give them a very cute fluffy look.

Cute-Red-Pandas

Fun Fact: They are Herbivorous Carnivoran, means genetically they belong to carnivore group but are more similar to Giant pandas (which are herbivorous).

Red pandas are mammals native to the eastern Himalayas and southwestern China. Even though, their name consists of Panda, genetically they are not closely related to Giant Pandas.

They have reddish-brown fur, a long, shaggy tail, and a waddling gait due to its shorter front legs, and is slightly larger than a domestic cat.

They are an endangered species. Habitat loss and fragmentation, poaching, and inbreeding depression, although red pandas are protected by national laws in their range countries.

White-Pomeranian-DOG

Fun Fact: Two dogs were rescued from Titanic wreckage and one of them was a Pomeranian.

Pomeranians are also known as toy dogs due to their small size and cute teddy bear like appearance. They are continuously going smaller in size. But their smaller size is rapidly increasing their popularity.

In terms of registration figures, since at least 1998, the breed has ranked among the top twenty most popular breeds in the USA, and the current fashion for small dogs has increased their popularity worldwide.

Baby-Bunnies

Fun Fact: Rabbits have a lot of babies. Mommas can give birth as much as nine babies each year.

Rabbits are small cute herbivorous mammals that are some of the most popular pet animals on earth. Rabbits come in many different colours and patterns, just like cats and dogs, and are family friendly. Although require some special measures around kids due to those little teeth, that can easily pierce human skin.

Cute-Fennec-Fox

Fun Fact: Those oversized ears are not only excellent for listening purposes but also serve as a way to dissipate heat and keep cool in the desert environment.

Fennec Foxes are exotic animals that you can also have as pet, though they require different treatment than domestic cats and dogs. They are extremely playful and family friendly, even look more like a mix of cat and dog than a fox. Their furry body, small size and big ears make them one of the cutest animals on earth.

Cute-Persian-Cats

Fun Fact: Persian Cats‘ long hair look may look like it requires high maintenance. But in reality, they are considered to be one of the most low maintenance and friendliest cat breeds.

Even though almost all of the cat breeds are cute. Watching a playing kitten in the early morning puts a big smile on your face. If you’re are an animal lover, you most likely have a cat or dog in your home or around you right now. If you own a cat and it’s not Persian, so please don’t be upset. But we’re choosing Persian cat for this entry as they’re tiny bit more cute than other cats.  Note:  We have a part-Persian and she is the meanest darn cat I’ve ever known.  We named her Tiger Lily before we knew how ornery she was!


Friends, this isn’t much of a Jolly Monday post, and for that I apologize.  I’ve had the wind knocked out of my sails in the past week, between the Mueller report and related reactions, the Notre-Dame fire, and yesterdays horrific bombings in Sri Lanka and I just can’t find my humorous side, especially with Jolly gone.  Next week … I promise to do better.  Meanwhile, have a great week, and please, find a smile and share it with someone this week.  Love and hugs from Filosofa … and the missing Jolly!Maxine

Who Says It’s A … Jolly Monday?

Welcome friends!  I can’t believe it’s Monday again already!  At least it’s warm enough to be out without coats, hats, and gloves!  I’m so happy to see flowers starting to bloom and buds on the trees.  I haven’t seen a single bee yet, and that disturbs me a bit.  Plenty of ants, though!  Did you all have a wonderful weekend?

Grab a bite and a cuppa and let’s kick off this week with some fun, shall we?  Sorry rawgod, but I ran out of tea … have a juice box for today and I’ll get some tea before next week, I promise!


A lot of love … and patience

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw this one.  D.W. and Willie Williams just celebrated their wedding anniversary.  Their 82nd wedding anniversary!dw-willie-williams

D.W. (left) is 103 years of age, and Willie is a mere 100.  What a beautiful couple!  When asked the secret to the long success of their marriage, Willie answered …

“I don’t have a secret, just be nice to each other.”

Hmmm … sounds like excellent advice, don’t you think?  Congrats to D.W. and Willie!!!


Hee Haw …

Payton Dankworth is a high school student in Ballinger, Texas.  One day not long ago, she received a call from a friend who had been out riding (horses — it’s Texas, remember) and stumbled across a baby donkey.  The donkey was not well … malnourished and dehydrated.  The friend’s parents absolutely put their foot down and refused to keep the little donkey, so he asked Payton, knowing she had a soft heart.Jack-1

Jack-3Payton took the little guy in, bottle fed him and nursed him to health, and from that day forward, she was his momma!  She named him ‘Jack’, a fitting name for a donkey, although I likely would have named him Eeyore.Jack-2“He became really playful and now loves playing with my dogs. Right now he sleeps inside with me since he’s still so little and I give him a bottle about every two hours and then take him outside to use the bathroom. Jack also will not go to sleep unless my dog is with him. He will cry all night instead. I grew up showing steers and I’ve had my fair share of what you would call life on the farm. I don’t actually live on a farm but we do have property with other livestock animals on it.”

Since Jack came into her life, she has been inspired by his transformation to the point that she is now determined to look after animals for a living.Jack-4“Jack’s transformation has been the greatest thing ever to watch. It’s been so heart touching watching him thrive.  From watching him barely have enough strength to stand up to watching him run around and play with my dogs has been the greatest thing ever!”Jack-5There’s a saying that they grow them big in Texas … I think this young lady’s heart is proof enough of that!


Dance On, Wika!!!

Wirginia Szmyt, also known as DJ Wika, is eighty years old and still going strong.  She is Poland’s oldest DJ.  Donning yellow trousers, shiny platform shoes, red lipstick and headphones, she stands behind the decks, mixing party music in a huge Warsaw club.DJ-wika-2

“I don’t care if someone likes it or not that I am dancing or jumping behind the console, because I cannot play and stay still. When I play, I feel the melody, I feel the rhythm.”

DJ-wika-1

Every Monday night, she entertains about 1,000 people at the Hula Kula club, smashing stereotypes and empowering seniors as she plays everything from disco and rock to samba and ballads.

“I do not fit the stereotype of an elderly person. I don’t see a reason why my age should determine my life norms.  I used to work with young people and I kept this youthful outlook and youthful expectations … My message to youths is that your life does not end when you are 70. They would say ‘Miss Wika we are already 40, we are so old’. And I am twice as old as you and … I am not old, by no means.”

What an awesome outlook, don’t you think?


Here are a few humorous memes I happened across last week …

meme-1meme-2meme-3

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And what would Jolly Monday be without a cute animal video?


jollyAnd on that note, I shall send you off to your Monday duties, hopefully with a bit of a smile on your face, one which I will no doubt relieve you of later today with my next post.  Sigh.  Have a great week, my friends, and remember to share your smiles & hugs … we all need a few extras these days!  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!

Maxine-April-Fools

Jolly Monday Once Again!

Welcome, friends!  Did you notice what was in the front yard as you came in?  No?  Then come … you simply must see!  Yes, there … see them?  The crocuses are coming up!!!  It will be a while before we get blooms, but I am so happy to see their fresh green sprouts! crocus-sprouts.jpgSo, how was your weekend?  Mine?  Meh.  It was very cold this weekend, and I’m still not quite up to snuff these days, tire too easily, so while we went out for lunch and the bookstore, that was about enough for me.  I was ready to come back home and put on my warm, cozy sweats and thick book socks.  Daughter Chris’ band played in the St. Patrick’s Day parade downtown on Saturday, but Miss Goose and I stayed home where it was warm.  Apparently not many people did, though, for it was so crowded it took her over an hour to be able to make her way back to her car after the parade!

Chris' band.jpg

Chris, my li’l drummie girl, is 3rd from the right, front row

Well, since it is Monday, let’s make it a jolly one with a bit of humour, shall we?  Grab a snack and a cuppa.  I put extra tea out for you, rawgod, since you said somebody sipped yours last week.  And David … there’s BFG just for you!

 


Playing music for … cheese?

Say What???  This one doesn’t come from a satirical site, but you wouldn’t be blamed for thinking it did.

A team of Swiss researchers has been studying the effects of music on cheese.  Yes, you heard me right.  Nine wheels of Emmental cheese weighing 10 kilos (22 pounds) each were placed in separate wooden crates last September to test the impact of music on flavor and aroma.

One wheel was played Mozart 24/7, while another was subjected to Led Zeppelin, and yet another to some hip-hop group of whom I’ve never heard and don’t care if I never do!  One lone wheel was left in peace and quiet.

According to the researchers from Bern University …

“The most obvious differences were observed in strength of flavor, smell and taste. The hip hop sample topped the list of all cheese exposed to music in terms of fruitiness … [it] was the strongest of these in terms of smell and taste. The differences were very clear, in term of texture, taste, the appearance, there was really something very different.  All the energy is directly resonating inside of the cheese.”

cheese-3.jpgInteresting, but my question is … taste varies from person to person, so the cheese I might prefer might well (likely would) be the one that had Mozart playing in its … um … what does cheese have in lieu of ears?  Who comes up with these ideas, anyway!  And why?


Ghost or Gimmick?

ghostThe Habitat for Humanity Restore of Rowan County is a second-hand furniture store in North Carolina.  They recently acquired a queen canopy bed frame and highboy chest of drawers that the previous owners said were haunted.  Store Operations Director Elizabeth Brady says she felt obligated to advise potential customers of the possibility of a ghost or ghosts residing within, so she posted photos on Facebook, along with the disclaimer …haunted furniture sign.jpg

And suddenly there was a flurry of interest in the pieces, culminating in a sale for $1,000 just last week.  Now, perhaps I just have a suspicious nature, but I have a funny feeling it was an intentional tease to pique the public interest and have people vying to own these ‘haunted’ pieces, thereby raising the going price. haunted furniture.jpg


Turn some lights out, Bud!

I’ve had a few eye-opening electric bills in my time, but I think the highest ever was probably under $400.  I would love to have seen the look on poor Tommy Straub’s face when he opened his monthly bill from Con Edison in New York and found this …electric bill.jpgHis average bill is $74.  Tommy took it all in stride, however, tweeting …

“I own a 600 square foot apartment in Astoria. I do NOT own the entirety of Manhattan Island. THIS IS INSANE. FIX IT.”

I think I would have been on the phone to Con Ed, rather than on Twitter, but that seems to be where everybody heads when things go amiss!  Happily, the problem was quickly resolved with a phone call, but if I had been the one to get a bill like that, it would have been too late to resolve, for I would likely have suffered heart failure right then and there!


ATM mobbed?

Back in November in Houston, Texas, I think perhaps the men who loaded an ATM near Interstate 45 and Farm to Market Road 1960 in Harris County, may have been a bit hungover or somehow distracted.  Perhaps there was a pretty little filly trotting down the FM road?  Anyway, where they were supposed to place $20 bills, they instead placed $100 bills! atm-fight.jpgCustomers contacted Bank of America, to whom the machine belonged, when it was discovered that the machine was dispensing extra cash, but not before a few people grabbed the money and ran, and a few fights broke out!  No word yet on the amount of excess cash that was distributed, or on whether those found having taken the cash will be charged with some criminal offense.

Personally, I would have waited for the cops and turned the extra money over.  No, really, I would have!  I’m he one who drives back to the store and goes back in to tell the clerk she gave me 25 cents too much change!


Dragonlord the Pig … or CAT???

What would Jolly Monday be without a cute animal video?  I say I post these for the young set of readers, but in truth, I have a ball with them!  Last night, I was sitting watching animal videos to find just the right one for this post, and literally laughing!  I really think we ‘oldsters’ enjoy the animals as much as the youngsters, don’t you?  Dragonlord is a pig who, having been raised with house cats, thinks he is one of them.  Watch …


humour-1humour-2humour-4

 


jollyAnd now, folks, I am sorry to say that we must all get this show on the road.  I, of course, have laundry, bathrooms & a kitchen to clean, and a nap to take email to answer.  And you all … well, some of you anyway … have a job to go to so you can pay the electric bill next week.  I do so love seeing your beautiful smiles, and I hope you will share them with everyone you see this week!  Thank you for sharing part of your morning with me and Jolly!  Hugs ‘n love from Filosofa and Jolly!

Maxine.jpg

Here’s To A Jolly Monday … 🥂

Monday-sleepy-2G’mornin’ friends … welcome {yawn} to Monday.  No, I didn’t have a ‘wild weekend’.  I look like this every morning … I just got up too late to hide the ugly before you got here today.  Jolly helped me whip up a few treats to start the morning out right …

juice box                 coffee              cuppa tea

Now let’s see if we can find something fun to start this week off, shall we?


Cabbage is not my favourite veggie, though I can tolerate it in such things as coleslaw (Miss Goose calls it ‘funny salad’) or in an egg roll.  Otherwise, I leave the cabbage in the produce aisle for someone else.  But Rosemary Norwood and her husband, Sean Cadman, who live in the Tasmanian valley of Jackeys Marsh, Australia, have grown a cabbage that I think would feed the entirety of Australia for a few months, at least!huge cabbage.pngNorwood said she kept hungry wallabies and possums out with a wire fence, and had to place the cabbage under a fine net to stop slugs and butterflies. The toil has been worth it, however — the cabbage ended up large enough to provide almost two weeks’ worth of coleslaw, German rotkohl and salads for their guests.  Personally, I would have let the wallabies have it …


You all remember the Smurfs from Saturday morning television, right?smurfs-toonPer Wikipedia …

The Smurfs is a Belgian comic franchise centered on a fictional colony of small, blue, human-like creatures who live in mushroom-shaped houses in the forest. The Smurfs was first created and introduced as a series of comic characters by the Belgian comics artist Peyo (the pen name of Pierre Culliford) in 1958, wherein they were known as Les Schtroumpfs.

And an interesting tidbit …

The word “smurf” is the original Dutch translation of the French “schtroumpf”, which, according to Peyo, is a word he invented during a meal with fellow cartoonist André Franquin when he could not remember the word salt.

smurfsBut I digress.  In the town of Lauchringen, near the German border with Switzerland, an unusual gathering took place on Saturday.  2,762 living human smurfs attended a gathering dressed and painted blue in the regulation smurf attire — curly hats and all.  They set a record previously held by Welsh students who managed to unite 2,510 regulation smurfs in Swansea back in 2009.

The rules of the game are strict: the only people counted as the genuine article are those with any bare skin painted blue and the rest of the body clothed in smurf attire.


I did not watch the Grammy Awards show last week.  I don’t watch television except to catch a few bits and pieces of the British shows my daughter watches on weekends, and even if I watch television, I’m bored by awards-type shows.  But, I keep seeing pictures of some of the … um … costumes?  Get-ups?  I mean, seriously, some of these garbs are cringe-worthy.  They remind me of something out of a bad sci-fi movie.  Take a look for yourselves …

For the record … I would not be caught dead in any of those abominations!


A few fun things I stumbled across on the ‘net last week …

Killing-Mosquitos

Pizza-pals

Pizza Pals

popcorn

bath-time-human.gif

Bath time, Human!!!


This video is proof of that old expression, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way” …


I sent Jolly out last night in search of a really cute animal video.  I told him to make it extra special, something guaranteed to make our friends laugh.  I think he did a pretty good job …


And now, my friends, I hope you have a lovely week and that you remember to share those smiles, have a kind word for someone who needs one, and be happy.  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa!toon-Maxine