Jolly Monday … Sans Jolly

Good Monday morning, friends!  I regret to inform you that Jolly has gone AWOL, so this might be a shorter than usual Jolly Monday.  I never realize how much I rely on his help until he’s not here!  I made a disaster in the kitchen trying to get the treats ready, the house is a mess, and I’m just not sure if I can go it alone this morning, but I shall give it my best shot.  Jolly, I’m pretty sure, has gone in search of two of our special friends who’ve been missing lately, and I hope he finds them …

Anyway, grab a snack, if you can find something salvageable in that mess, and let’s try to find some humour in this morning, shall we?

burnt breadburnt toast

spilt coffeebananas

Some days, it seems that nothing goes right … sigh.


Scratch the surface …

At first glance, this sounded like one heck of an opportunity!  Heck, I was about ready to pack up and move to London for this job!  The headline read …

British couple offering $40,000 for full-time dog-sitter

Nov. 25 (UPI) — A British couple are offering nearly $40,000 a year for a full-time dog-sitter to take care of their two golden retrievers.

The position, which requires work Monday through Friday and some weekends, pays $38,676-$41,254 a year, plus room and board.

golden-retreiversThe posting said the dog-sitters would also be called upon to perform some light housekeeping duties.  Note to readers:  red flags should go up with you hear “light housekeeping duties”.  A visit to the actual employment service site where the full ad was posted put it all in a bit of a different light.

job-adA six-storey townhouse … daily housekeeping to a “high standard” … laundry … cooking???  Who the heck has a six-storey townhouse???  I can barely climb the stairs in my two-storey townhouse!!!  Suddenly $40,000 doesn’t sound like nearly enough.  And what the heck is ‘dairy management’?  Guess I’ll cancel that trip to London, eh?


When in Rome … er, France …

If you move from the city to the country, then you should be prepared for a bit of adjustment.  You certainly don’t expect your neighbor, who has lived in the countryside for a long time, to change his lifestyle to accommodate your own.  But that was just what a couple who moved in next to retired farmer Dominique Douthe in the foothills of the Pyrenees, southwestern France, did.  In fact … they took her to court … or was it the ducks they took to court?

Farmer Douthe has some 60 ducks on her farm, and the people who moved in next to her, about 50 meters away, took umbrage at the quacking!  Ducks quack.  Dogs bark.  Cows moo.  Get over it … all of these are more pleasant sounds than those made by most humans!

The unnamed couple, seeking peace and quiet in the French countryside, took Farmer Douthe to court, saying the quacking of the ducks was making their lives miserable.  I’m confused … after the honking of car horns 24/7, the yammering of hoardes of humans, the stench of unwashed bodies, the sound of jets flying overhead … they are made miserable by the sound of ducks taking joy in life?

The court ruled that the sounds made by the ducks and geese are within acceptable limits, and the city folk wasted their money on lawyers to sue ducks!  Score one for common sense and justice.  Said Mme Douthe …

“The ducks have won. I’m very happy because I didn’t want to slaughter my ducks.”


I told you I’m not much good without Jolly’s help, so … how about a few ‘toons, memes, ‘n pictures to round out the morning?

toon-1toon-2toon-3toon-4toon-5toon-6toon-7

meme-1meme-2meme-3pic-1pic-2pic-3

Y’know … friends don’t always have to look or act just like us to be friends … I think these guys prove that point …

friendsfriends-2friends-3

I found this over on Phil’s Phun, advertised as the season’s best holiday ad, and while I’m not a fan of any ads, especially holiday ads, I have to admit this one stole my heart!

I apologize for Jolly’s absence, and for my ineptitude in being a “jolly sub”, but hopefully by next week Jolly will return and we can get back to normal.  Meanwhile, please remember to share a smile with someone who needs an extra.  Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa … and Jolly in absentia.

AAUGH!!!!!

arghThe “headline” reads: NBC NEWS: All Americans Will Receive A Microchip Implant In 2017.  Despite the fact that it indicates it is from NBC News, in very small grey print at the bottom, it says “DAILYMEDIAINFO by ADMIN2”.  This is precisely the type of pseudo-news I was referring to the other day.  A friend of mine, a very intelligent man with a college education, posted this and believed it.  Dailymedia.info, by the way, is a satirical website that mimics actual news.

Here is the “news story”:

NBC has recently predicted that in 2017, all of America will be tagged with microchips. They will be implanted to help identify individuals immediately. According to the report, the technology is used to answer one question, “Am I who I say I am?”Some worry, however, that the RFID Microchip will give the government too much power, allowing them to track every move. In some states, like Virginia, legislation is in process to stop this from happening. The report also reveals an RFID Brain Chip that has been developed and is currently being tested on several humans.It was reported that the use of Micro-Chips in Bill H.R. 4872 was located on Page 1014 under “National Medical Device Registry” it tells about a “Class II Device That is Implantable” and yes, they passed the bill. Read Page “1014″ In The H.R. 4872 Read Class II Special Controls Guidance For FDA Staff.

With the RFID Microchip they can track the movement of the people that are implanted. They can also control the money and food of the people. It is also reported to be possible to even kill the people that don’t obey. The HR 3962 Bill is an exact copy of the HR 3200 bill in with the exception of just a few words removed concerning the RFID Microchip but the ability to Chip Every Citizen of the United States is still in the bill. Open Bill and Read Pages 1501 through 1510 Read Class II Special Controls Guidance For FDA Staff Read And Do The Research For Yourself …

And here is what Snopes has to say about it:

Despite multiple, detailed debunkings (here at snopes.com and elsewhere), the rumor that the provisions of Obamacare require that Americans submit to the implantation of microchips that will record and store retrievable medical information (and a host of other personal details) is a persistent one.

One of the pieces of “evidence” now commonly proffered in support of this claim is a video clip from an NBC Nightly News broadcast (with anchor Brian Williams) touted as reporting that “All Americans Will Receive a Microchip Implant in 2017”:

But of course, simply viewing the clip in question shows that it actually reported nothing of the kind.

This clip is a (typically brief and shallow) NBC Evening News feature from 2007 speculating upon what life might be like in the U.S. in ten years’ time (i.e., 2017). This particular segment focused on ways in which we might “safeguard and identify all those things that make each of us unique,” addressing in particular the use of biometrics (technologies that measure and analyze human body characteristics) to build and access databases of information about individuals, for purposes ranging from security identification to recognizing their consumer preferences.

A potential future technology mentioned at the beginning of the clip was the use of chips implanted under the skin that would store important medical information to be retrieved by those responsible for delivering medical care and treatment. But microchips were just one of several possible biometric technologies surveyed in the segment, along with fingerprints, iris scans, and facial recognition software. Nowhere did the clip claim or predict that “all Americans will receive a microchip implant in 2017,” any more than it asserted that (as imagined in the 2002 neo-noir science fiction mystery-thriller film Minority Report) by 2017 retailers will be scanning our irises as we enter their stores to show us promotions tailored to our buying habits and preferences.

In short, NBC simply mentioned the use of microchips for personal ID purposes (along with several other biometric technologies) as something that might come about by 2017; they didn’t definitively state that it would be commonplace by then, much less maintain that it would be a mandatory provision of daily life in America. And they certainly didn’t link it to any provision of Obamacare, as the NBC report initially aired over two years prior to the passage of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.

I perused some of the comments and the people who believed this hoax outnumbered those who realized the ridiculousness of it by a landslide.  In fact, our of 188 comments, I only saw one comment (other than my own) that said it was not even believable. Granted, I did not read all 188, as they were making me ill, but I read a good sampling. Most were convinced that it was real and compared it to religious texts.  What is it about this that is even remotely credible?  If anybody took a second to stop and think about it, first of all, WHY would good ol’ Uncle Sam want to do that?  The U.S. government does not have the time nor manpower to track every citizen.  HOW would they do it?  Are they going to send notices asking people to come to their clinic?  Right.  Or would they go house to house … 53% of which probably have a gun handy.  And a “brain chip”?  Seriously?

good griefI shared this today only because it was one of the most glaringly false ones that I have seen, and because I was disappointed that a friend who should know better shared and believed such nonsense.  It speaks to me of our willingness, as a society, to buy into conspiracy theories and other forms of lies, rather than think for ourselves or investigate.  We cannot afford to stop thinking for ourselves and let silly Facebook memes tell us what to believe.  We simply cannot!