Hi … um … what are you guys doing here?  It’s not Monday yet.  It … what???  It is Monday?  Already?  Are you sure you’re not pulling my leg …?  Keith … I know you wouldn’t fib to me … what day is it?  OH!  Ooopsie … I … I am a bit behind, I fear.  I haven’t baked this morning … let me run into the kitchen right quick and see what I can scrounge up … make yourselves at home … be right back!

Fruit, cheese, brioche & popcorn — what more could you ask for?

This was actually my breakfast a few days ago … oops … burnt the brioche, again.  I still ate it … nice and crunchy.

Not much of a selection, but while I was digging around in the fridge and the pantry, I did make a pot of coffee and boiled water for tea.  I’m really sorry, guys … I promise to do better next time.  😔  Still, since it is Monday, let’s see if we can make it a jolly one with a few laughs, okay?

An honest man …

We’ve all had parking tickets, right?  Some of you maybe even paid your parking tickets!  Me?  I crumple them up and toss them in the nearest trash can, or stick them in my pocket ‘til I come to a trash can.  I don’t recall ever paying one in my life.  See, the thing is that our tax dollars paid for the street and the sidewalk that parking meter is on.  I always feed the meter a couple of quarters, and if it runs out before I get back to my car … oh well … I paid my fair share already, for sometimes there is time left on the meter and I figure it all balances out somehow.  Not that I worry much about it these days, for I have no car to park!  Anyway …

A man known only as ‘Dave’ sent his ticket and payment of $5 to the police department in Minersville, Pennsylvania last week.  The ticket dated back to 1974 and was for $2 … I guess the extra three dollars was for accrued interest?

Aged beef?

Now, if you thought the food I put out for you this morning was less than stellar, get a load of this!  The man’s name is Dave Alexander (another Dave!) and this one is selling something truly unique on Ebay.  Dave has for sale a McDonald’s cheeseburger and fries!  What … you’re not excited?  Well, Dave, who lives in Ontario, Canada, might well have this market cornered, for the food he is selling at auction is six years old and has been sitting on a shelf that entire time!  blech.  🤢Alexander said he had his daughter buy him the burger and fries on June 6, 2012, so he could put them on a shelf in his home and determine whether rumors that McDonald’s food doesn’t decompose were mere urban legend.  A year later, he placed a homemade burger and fries next to the McDonald’s food for comparison purposes.  The results?

“The fries are stunningly good looking. The fries look like they were purchased this morning. The burger itself has darkened a little bit. The bun is about as hard as a hockey puck, but it looks just like it’s brand new cosmetically. The cheese on the homemade one, especially the french fries, the potatoes, just look like little bits of charcoal right now.”

The McDonald’s burger and fries started at $22.91 and bids reached $62.65 on Friday with six days remaining in the auction.  Pretty reasonable for such a find, eh?  I’m a little suspicious … I almost never eat McDonald’s cardboard food anyway, but if it has so many preservatives that it hasn’t decayed after six years … well, it reminds me of a woman who used Botox … what you see is not necessarily what you get!

Drunken what???

I have, back in the day, spent a lot of time on the shores of both East and West coasts and have seen many a seagull.  I like them, as long as they only steal my food and don’t pluck my hair out of my head, as they have been known to do.  But in all my days, I have never seen a drunken seagull!  I’m not sure what the Brits are doing to their seagulls, but of late they seem to have had a rash of drunkenness among their gull population.

From The Guardian, 06 July 2018 …

“RSPCA staff have been left scratching their heads after a string of callouts to collect ‘drunk’ gulls. The animal welfare charity is concerned the birds have been gaining access to waste products from a local brewery or alcohol producer, making them disoriented and confused. Jo Daniel, an RSPCA officer, said ‘the birds absolutely stink of alcohol’ when they collect them.”

Those of you who are of my own generation probably remember the old Art Linkletter show and the segment he had called, “Kids Say the Darndest Things”?  I was reminded of that today when I came across these two things written by kids …

Hmph … I bet I know this kid’s father …

And last, let us wrap up our Jolly Monday with a short video clip of a squirrel evicting an owl from his home … I think the little guys will even enjoy this one …

Well, friends, our respective jobs and duties are calling … I have a pile of laundry, and you guys have jobs and other chores to attend to.  I hope you found something today to laugh about.  I apologize for the meager offerings this morning and promise to remember next week and make better treats!  Stay cool, keep safe, and have a really great week, my friends!  And please remember to share those wonderful smiles you have … cheer somebody up today!  Hugs ‘n love from Filosofa!  Oh … Boo says “hi”, too!