Saturday Surprise — A Hodge-Podge

Today, I have somewhat of a hodge-podge for you.  I thought we all needed something to laugh about after the past couple of weeks {years}!


Have you ever done something really dumb … you know, those kinds of things that make you smack your head and say, “I can’t believe I did that!”  🙄  Oh come on now, you know you have — we all have!  Let me start out with a couple of my own … er … less-than-brilliant moments.  My van is old, with 221,000+ miles on it, and it needs to be started every couple of days to keep it at least semi-functional.  Since I only use it once a week to pick up my online grocery order from the Kroger that is less than a mile from home, I usually start it every other day, let it run for 10 minutes, then go back out and turn it off. But one time, I forgot it was running, and a couple of hours later when my daughter returned home from work, she said, “How long has your van been running?”  Oops.  Now I set the timer on my phone to remind me!  Then there was the time years ago when I was at the grocery checkout and suddenly realized my keys weren’t in my pocket.  I panicked, and the cashier asked me what was wrong … “I can’t find my keys!” … and she calmly asked, “Is that them in your hand?”  🤦

Here are some gems from readers of Bored Panda …

  • I have a key fob for my car. It’s set up so that if you hit the lock button once, it locks the car. If you hit the same lock button again, it locks it again and honks the horn so you know you’ve locked it for sure. The thing is, I always want to make super sure that it’s locked, but sometimes I come home to my condo super late, and my parking spot is right under someone else’s window. I noticed that if the key fob was farther away from the car when I hit the button twice, the honk was not as loud. So out of consideration, I would always wait til I was halfway up the stairs to do the double lock honk. What a great neighbor I am! Anyway, after maybe 2+ years of doing this, one time my girlfriend and I were in my condo and I realized I needed something out of my car. So I go down there but when I get there I realize I had forgotten my keys. Well, I had my phone, so I called my girlfriend and asked if she would stick her arm out the window with the key fob and unlock my car. She mistakenly hit the lock button twice and my car honked. Really loudly! Even though she was all the way up on the third floor! It was only then I realized…the honk was always the same. It only sounded softer when I was farther away…because I was farther away. I have a master’s degree…

  • My coworker asked if there is lactose in eggs, I thought to myself “they both come from the same animal, so maybe”. For 5 seconds, I thought milk came from chickens.

  • I once had a brain fart and forgot that porcupines were animals. I was hanging out with my family and my niece mentioned that her favorite animal was a porcupine, and I laughed for a good long time before explaining to her that porcupines weren’t animals. I’d gotten them mixed up with pine cones. I have a graduate degree. My niece was maybe 6 at the time. She schooled me.

  • When I was cleaning out my shed in the back, I stepped on a rake and the pole smacked me in the face. Literally, like the cartoons. It happened three more times before I came up with the bright idea to move the rake.

  • I was sitting in traffic, and I noticed that all the other lanes were moving while mine hadn’t budged an inch. I craned my neck trying to see what the hold up was, and finally figured out that I wasn’t in a lane at all, but had been patiently waiting behind a line of parked cars.

  • A couple months ago, my husband and I went on a walk. There are a lot of trails where we live and a couple of lakes. So we walked down a trail to the lake, turned left up another trail, and ended up at the top of a street. We start walking down the street and I realize there is a house that has a wishing well in their front yard like we do. I point it out to my husband and then I realize they have the same truck we do, too. I point out the truck and then I realize that we were in front of our own house. It wasn’t my brightest moment.

So, what are some of your not-so-bright moments?


I always find critters help bring down my stress levels (unless it is my own recalcitrant furry family members while they’re intent on destroying furniture or pulling up the carpet!). Recently, Agora challenged international photographers to participate in the #Animals2020 photo contest with their best shots of living creatures around the planet.  Here is a sampling …

1-iguana

Iguana — Jakarta, Indonesia

2-koala

Mother & baby koala — Australia

3-monkey

Baby monkey — Kedoya Utara, Indonesia

10-fox

Arctic fox — Iceland

17-bekantan

Mother & child Bekantan — Cisarua, Indonesia

19-owl

Barn owl — Northumberland, United Kingdom

22-lion

Lion — Gondwana Game Reserve, South Africa

23-Ibex

Ibex — Chamonix, France

25-puffin

Puffin — Smoker Island, Wales, United Kingdom

41-bee

Bee on flowers — South Korea

42-bird-zebra

Bird on zebra — Moremi Game Reserve, Botswana

This is just a sample of the full collection, but you can see the rest, along with some of the photographer’s stories.


And last, but not least … in case you still haven’t chuckled … a few really bad (don’t say I didn’t warn you) jokes, courtesy of Reader’s Digest

  • What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?  Dam.
  • What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
  • Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way.
  • Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?  10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.
  • What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They’re both purple except for the rabbit.
  • What do you call an alligator in a vest? An in-vest-igator.
  • I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. – Rodney Dangerfield

toonNow, try to put the serious stuff out of your mind for a couple of hours today and enjoy your Saturday, ‘k?