Tag Archives: satire

A Bit Of Lighter Fare …

Posted on by under Environmental Issues, Humour, Law and justice, Political commentary, Social commentary

Of late, nothing Trump says makes any sense.  Oh wait … he never did make any sense!  But he seems to go off on tangents that are signs that his mind is deteriorating before our very eyes.  In an effort to be fair, I must admit that it is surely difficult to be in a position of so much responsibility, so many important decisions to be made, when you really haven’t the knowledge, education, or intelligence to make any of those decisions wisely.  One of his stupidest statements in the past week or two was this …

“We’re going after Virginia with your crazy governor. … They want to take your Second Amendment away. You know that right? You’ll have nobody guarding your potatoes.”

Who knew that potatoes ranked right up there with the gold at Fort Knox as being under threat and needing constant guarding … with guns!  I need a break from the dark posts that are my norm, and I suspect perhaps you do too … just a little break.  Alexandra Petri, a columnist for The Washington Post, had a bit of fun with that one.  Take a look …

I am a simple potato guardian who needs my Second Amendment rights

Alexandra-PetriBy 

Alexandra Petri 

Columnist

May 20, 2020 at 9:00 a.m. EDT

“We’re going after Virginia with your crazy governor. … They want to take your Second Amendment away. You know that right? You’ll have nobody guarding your potatoes.”

— President Trump, to farmers assembled at the White House

I am a potato guardian. This is the only life I have known. Here is my tale, one no doubt familiar to you, just as the concept of a person who guards potatoes in Virginia is familiar.

Day 1

It is a cold February day, and the new crop of potatoes is just in the ground, an average of six weeks before the last frost. I am in Virginia, the well-known home of potato farming. To guard the potato is a sacred duty, which I have studied since my days at Au Groton, a boarding school for people who aspire one day to protect potatoes. I have my weapon, and I have my training. I settle at the edge of the field with my carbine on my knees and prepare for a long spring.

Day 2

It rained today. I kept my eyes on the potatoes, just as I knew that they would be keeping their eyes on me.

I walked the perimeter of the field. This will be a good crop, if I can only keep it safe for the 75 to 135 days that potatoes require. I must keep it safe.

Day 3

As I walked today, I saw something move just at the corner of the field. But by the time I got there, it was too late. There was a footprint in the soft, slightly acidic soil. A boot, not mine. I think the potato raiders will be here soon. I think they are making their preparations. I must make mine.

Day 4

No sign of the raiders today. At midday, the farmer’s daughter brought me a glass of milk. “You looked thirsty out there,” she told me. I took it from her hands and thanked her. “And you have been sent to guard the potatoes?” she asked. I shrugged. I am a potato guardian of few words. I let my eyes speak for me. “What an interesting life,” she said. “Do you get lonely?” I told her I did not.

But the question has stayed with me. Lonely? Do I get lonely? No. I have the potatoes. And I have my Second Amendment rights. I do not need anything else.

Day 5

The farmer’s daughter brought me another glass of milk and watched me as I sipped it. I think it is too late to tell her that milk is not a good drink when you are hot in the middle of the day. I think we have gotten into a pattern now, which I regret. She is nice. She has kind eyes, like I imagine a potato would have, though she only has two, which is low for a potato.

After drinking the milk, I dozed a little, and when I awoke there were more footprints at the edge of the field. I must be more vigilant. If I do not protect the potatoes, who will?

Day 6

I planted a trap at the corner of the field where the footprints keep appearing. It was hot and tiring work, and the farmer’s daughter brought me another glass of milk. “I guess all you have is milk,” I said, in what I hoped was a pointed way, but she did not seem to understand what I was getting at. “Yes,” she said. “We have lots of milk, thank heaven.”

“Good,” I said, but I did not really think it was good.

Day 7

Last night there was a frost. I am glad the potatoes are sleeping sound and warm below a blanket of two inches of soil. I went to check the trap at the edge of the field. There was something in it, a boot. The boot was bigger than mine, but not by much. I followed the tracks as far as they went, to the edge of the woods. I should mention that there are woods here in Virginia, where I guard potatoes. That must be where the potato raiders come from.

“Did you catch him?” the farmer’s daughter asked, at midday.

“No,” I said. “But be on the lookout for someone with a very muddy sock.” I took a sip of the milk she had brought.

I bet the raider comes back tonight. You can’t get far with one boot. Not here in the potato fields of Virginia. I reset the trap and put the boot next to it. As bait.

Day 8

No movement at the trap. But there are footprints at the edge of the field. New ones, with sneaker treads. This potato raider must own multiple sets of footwear, which complicates matters a little.

I got a call from an old friend from potato guardian training. He washed out; people were always taking potatoes from under his nose, and he was a laughingstock among us. Now he works in finance. He asked if I had heard the news about the governor and what he was planning to do. I said I hadn’t, so he told me. I can’t believe the governor would come for our Second Amendment rights. No potato will be safe then. It’s monstrous.

The farmer’s daughter brought me my milk right after this conversation, but I told her in a forbidding tone that I was not thirsty.

Day 9

A small success! I spent an uneasy night after the news about the governor, tossing and turning at the edge of the field of my precious charges. Toward dawn, I saw a shadowy figure prowling at the edge of the field. I got up, and he did not see me creep toward him. I leaped at him and caught him by the leg. As we tussled, several potatoes fell out of his jacket. Jacket potatoes. He wriggled his foot free of his boot and ran away. Now I have two boots. I do not know what his footwear situation is; it seems complicated.

I was very glad to have my Second Amendment rights, although, come to think of it, I did not use my carbine at all in this encounter.

Then I woke up. I am bewildered. Was it all a dream, or did I catch a potato raider, however briefly? I went to look for the boot, but there was nothing there.

Day 10

I am still unsure what is reality and what is dream. The potatoes will slumber another two months, but I cannot rest. The farmer’s daughter did not bring me any milk today. Instead her father came out to my corner of the field and said that I had to get off his property and that there was no such thing as a potato guardian.

“Don’t be like that, Cyrus!” I said. “The president knows about me. I am for sure a real thing that exists.”

He said his name wasn’t Cyrus and I had to get away from there. I packed up my things and slung my carbine over my shoulder. I said goodbye to the potatoes and set off.

Day 11

When I was almost to the Maryland border, I received a call from Cyrus. During the night, someone took all the potatoes. Cyrus was sobbing so hard I could scarcely make out his words.

“I should not have doubted you,” he said. “You are real, and the need for you is real, and the need for protecting your Second Amendment rights is the realest of all.” I could tell that all the starch had gone out of him. “I will be sure to write to my governor at once! Please, come back, and guard the new crop.”

“I would like that, Cyrus,” I said. “But I go where the potato calls.” And I continued over the border toward another state, with a new motto. Live Frite or Die. The spuds needed me, and I could not look back.

Happy Groundhog Day!!! – Redux (again)

Posted on by under animals, Holidays, Humour

This is a repeat of my 2017 Groundhog Day post.  I considered writing a new one, but after I read this one, and it even made me laugh, I figured I couldn’t come up with anything better, so why re-invent the wheel, eh?  If you remember this from last year, or the year before, or the year before … pretend you don’t and read it again, laugh again, okay?  We need to find humour these days …

“Ground Hog Day is tomorrow. We’re the only country that accepts weather predictions from a rodent, and denies climate change facts by scientists.” – Alt-NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration)

ghd-3Good morning!  Today is a very special day, so I am setting aside my usual fare for this morning’s post to pay due respect and homage to none other than Pennsylvania’s own … {drumroll} … {applause} … Punxsutawney Phil!!!!  A brief summary of the legend and the history for my friends across the pond who may not know about Phil:

On this day in 1887, Groundhog Day, featuring a rodent meteorologist, is celebrated for the first time at Gobbler’s Knob in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. According to tradition, if a groundhog comes out of its hole on this day and sees its shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter weather; no shadow means an early spring.

ghd-5Groundhog Day has its roots in the ancient Christian tradition of Candlemas Day, when clergy would bless and distribute candles needed for winter. The candles represented how long and cold the winter would be. Germans expanded on this concept by selecting an animal–the hedgehog–as a means of predicting weather. Once they came to America, German settlers in Pennsylvania continued the tradition, although they switched from hedgehogs to groundhogs, which were plentiful in the Keystone State.

The line of groundhogs that have since been known as Phil might be America’s most famous groundhogs, but other towns across North America now have their own weather-predicting rodents, from Birmingham Bill to Staten Island Chuck to Shubenacadie Sam in Canada.

ghd-herb

According to the Weather Channel, the forecast in Punxsutawney is a high chance of cloudy skies, and even a chance of a flurry or two. According to the legend, this means an early spring is ahead. For the record, Punxsutawney Phil has only been accurate 39% of the time since 1887.

I used to say that Groundhog Day was my favourite holiday, mostly because it did not require a lot of effort on my part … no huge meal to cook, no presents to buy and wrap, no tree to decorate or lights to string.

ghd-4

I happened across a humorous piece I thought you might enjoy.  Scott Feschuk, a Canadian speechwriter, humourist and former newspaper journalist, wrote this satire piece after hearing Trump’s rather ridiculous speech on black history.  It is his take on what a speech by Trump to commemorate Groundhog Day might be like:

“Well, this is Groundhog Day, so these are just a few little notes I want to share with you. On this day, we honour the tremendous history of groundhogs throughout our country. Throughout the world, if you really think about it, right? Because that’s where groundhogs are and where they live. Here but also there. Everywhere, really, except not exactly everywhere but almost.

Mostly in the ground though, on or it, or in the vicinity – which is why we call them that. Groundhogs. Right there in the name.

They’re incredible animals and their incredible example is unique in many ways. So many unique ways that honestly there’s no point in me examining any of them in any detail. We all know. We all know bigly.

You’ve all heard about groundhogs. They are well known and people know about them. We have some good ones. We have the one from that place in Pennsylvania and we have other ones and we have the one from that golf movie with one of the Ghostbusters. There are others. Many others that we all know, and I also know them.

The groundhog from the movie Groundhog Day is an example of a groundhog who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I noticed. Big impact. But all groundhogs – big impact on the seasons and the changing of the seasons. There are several seasons and we all know what they are.

I do very well with groundhogs, by the way, not that you’d know from CNN which is fake news and disgraceful. But I do substantially better than others have done. They hear me talk about underground life—it’s horrible, life is short, you can get killed by a wolf on the way to pick up an acorn. They hear me and they love me.

The groundhog is cherished. I am very proud of the fact that people in America can learn about groundhogs, and many other things. And they can learn about their many, many accomplishments, which we celebrate on this day, which is why it is called Groundhogs Day and is so special.

I’m proud to honour our groundhog heritage and will be honouring it more and more. Like I said before, a groundhog is an animal—much like a fox is also an animal. And Fox News has treated me very nice. Wherever Fox is, thank you.

Omarosa saw a groundhog once.” 

So there you have it.  Everything you always wanted to know about Groundhog Day and more!  For the record, though I am not a cute, furry little animal that lives in holes in the ground, my prediction is that the sun has taken a permanent vacation.  Here, we have had exactly one sunny day since January 20th.  One.  Just ONE!  I think the sun came out, saw something evil, and went back behind the clouds for protection.

ghd-max

A ‘Letter’ From Trump to MAGA’s

Posted on by under education, Environmental Issues, Humour, Law and justice, Political commentary, Racism & Bigotry, Re-blogs

These days, we often find ourselves saying, “You have to laugh about it, else you’ll cry”. Our friend Jeff over at On the Fence Voters has written a great bit of satire in the form of a letter from Trump to his ‘fans’, that I think will give you a chuckle … at least until you stop and think about it. Thank you, Jeff, for adding a bit of humour to our day!

On The Fence Voters

A confidential letter from Donald J. Trump to his supporters … P.S, please don’t tell the fake news.

Dear MAGA’s,

Hello everyone. As you know, in a few days we’ll be celebrating the anniversary of the most miraculous day in the history of modern civilization. That’s right. Thanks to all of you and my pal Vladimir, I was elected to serve as your President of the United States of America. Almost instantly, our country went from being the laughing stock of the world, to well, a bigger laughingstock of the world.

Soon though, our calendar will switch to a new year, 2020. And you all know what that means, right? Yes, your favorite little President is running for reelection, and I’m going to need your help again to stave off the radical socialist Democrats. I know I can count on you.

From time to time over the next year, I’m…

View original post 1,184 more words

Happy Groundhog Day!!! – Redux

Posted on by under animals, Holidays, Humour

This is a repeat of my 2017 Groundhog Day post.  This year, Phil will not be able to dig his way out from the deeply frozen ground, so … no worries about him seeing a shadow!

“Ground Hog Day is tomorrow. We’re the only country that accepts weather predictions from a rodent, and denies climate change facts by scientists.” – Alt-NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration)

ghd-3Good morning!  Today is a very special day, so I am setting aside my usual fare for this morning’s post to pay due respect and homage to none other than Pennsylvania’s own … {drumroll} … {applause} … Punxsutawney Phil!!!!  A brief summary of the legend and the history for my friends across the pond who may not know about Phil:

On this day in 1887, Groundhog Day, featuring a rodent meteorologist, is celebrated for the first time at Gobbler’s Knob in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. According to tradition, if a groundhog comes out of its hole on this day and sees its shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter weather; no shadow means an early spring.

ghd-5Groundhog Day has its roots in the ancient Christian tradition of Candlemas Day, when clergy would bless and distribute candles needed for winter. The candles represented how long and cold the winter would be. Germans expanded on this concept by selecting an animal–the hedgehog–as a means of predicting weather. Once they came to America, German settlers in Pennsylvania continued the tradition, although they switched from hedgehogs to groundhogs, which were plentiful in the Keystone State.

The line of groundhogs that have since been known as Phil might be America’s most famous groundhogs, but other towns across North America now have their own weather-predicting rodents, from Birmingham Bill to Staten Island Chuck to Shubenacadie Sam in Canada.

ghd-herb

According to the Weather Channel, the forecast in Punxsutawney is a high chance of cloudy skies, and even a chance of a flurry or two. According to the legend, this means an early spring is ahead. For the record, Punxsutawney Phil has only been accurate 39% of the time since 1887.

I used to say that Groundhog Day was my favourite holiday, mostly because it did not require a lot of effort on my part … no huge meal to cook, no presents to buy and wrap, no tree to decorate or lights to string.

ghd-4

I happened across a humorous piece I thought you might enjoy.  Scott Feschuk, a Canadian speechwriter, humourist and former newspaper journalist, wrote this satire piece after hearing Trump’s rather ridiculous speech on black history.  It is his take on what a speech by Trump to commemorate Groundhog Day might be like:

“Well, this is Groundhog Day, so these are just a few little notes I want to share with you. On this day, we honour the tremendous history of groundhogs throughout our country. Throughout the world, if you really think about it, right? Because that’s where groundhogs are and where they live. Here but also there. Everywhere, really, except not exactly everywhere but almost.

Mostly in the ground though, on or it, or in the vicinity – which is why we call them that. Groundhogs. Right there in the name.

They’re incredible animals and their incredible example is unique in many ways. So many unique ways that honestly there’s no point in me examining any of them in any detail. We all know. We all know bigly.

You’ve all heard about groundhogs. They are well known and people know about them. We have some good ones. We have the one from that place in Pennsylvania and we have other ones and we have the one from that golf movie with one of the Ghostbusters. There are others. Many others that we all know, and I also know them.

The groundhog from the movie Groundhog Day is an example of a groundhog who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I noticed. Big impact. But all groundhogs – big impact on the seasons and the changing of the seasons. There are several seasons and we all know what they are.

I do very well with groundhogs, by the way, not that you’d know from CNN which is fake news and disgraceful. But I do substantially better than others have done. They hear me talk about underground life—it’s horrible, life is short, you can get killed by a wolf on the way to pick up an acorn. They hear me and they love me.

The groundhog is cherished. I am very proud of the fact that people in America can learn about groundhogs, and many other things. And they can learn about their many, many accomplishments, which we celebrate on this day, which is why it is called Groundhogs Day and is so special.

I’m proud to honour our groundhog heritage and will be honouring it more and more. Like I said before, a groundhog is an animal—much like a fox is also an animal. And Fox News has treated me very nice. Wherever Fox is, thank you.

Omarosa saw a groundhog once.” 

So there you have it.  Everything you always wanted to know about Groundhog Day and more!  For the record, though I am not a cute, furry little animal that lives in holes in the ground, my prediction is that the sun has taken a permanent vacation.  Here, we have had exactly one sunny day since January 20th.  One.  Just ONE!  I think the sun came out, saw something evil, and went back behind the clouds for protection.

ghd-max

Trump Is Leading Cause Of Depression In Americans

Posted on by under Humour, Political commentary, Re-blogs, Social commentary

I saw this on Twitter earlier this afternoon, and enjoyed the bit of tongue-in-cheek humour, so I thought you guys might enjoy it also! Thank you, Austin, for this post and for your generous permission to share it with my readers!

The Return of the Modern Philosopher

Trump, politics, humor, Modern PhilosopherAccording to a new report, President Trump is now the leading cause of depression in Americans, Modern Philosophers

The study, released by the Department Utilizing Statistics and Tables (DUST), revealed that Trump caused depression in more Americans than the next four items on the list combined.

Here is the rest of the Top 5:

2. Finances.

3. Realizing that you are trapped in a dead end job because of your finances.

4. Listening to someone from an older generation tell stories about the good old days.

5. Watching an episode of This Is Us.

The White House has yet to release a statement about the study, but anonymous sources have revealed that President Trump was ecstatic to top the list.

He was even heard to say, “Obama was never number one on that list!”

Experts have put together a list of suggestions for coping with Trump Induced Depression (ICD-10 code…

View original post 342 more words

The day Donald Trump died

Posted on by under Humour, Political commentary, Re-blogs

I stumbled across this post a few days ago, asked & received permission to share, and so I am sharing this one with you this afternoon. It is short, but the sardonic humour is, I think, excellent. Thank you, nkd, for permission to share!

Thoughts, Songs, Words

One day in the future, Donald Trump died, as people tend to do sooner or later.

His body was discovered in the master bedroom of the presidential palace at 6:00 a.m. (Eastern Time) by a White House aide, who was alerted by Twitter that the late president had not logged on to his account by 3:30 a.m., which had been customary for him to do so.

It was reported by anonymous sources that at the time of his death, the 45th president of the United States was still wearing his trademark red MAGA hat, along with his favorite white robe. 

It’s speculated that the president may have fallen when he tripped over a large United States Constitution that he had often complained was in his way.

Foul play is not suspected.  However, preliminary toxicology reports revealed extremely large doses of misogyny and narcissism present in his system, coupled with abnormally…

View original post 74 more words

Happy Groundhog Day!!!

Posted on by under animals, Humour

“Ground Hog Day is tomorrow. We’re the only country that accepts weather predictions from a rodent, and denies climate change facts by scientists.” – Alt-NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration)

ghd-3Good morning!  Today is a very special day, so I am setting aside my usual fare for this morning’s post to pay due respect and homage to none other than Pennsylvania’s own … {drumroll} … {applause} … Punxsutawney Phil!!!!  A brief summary of the legend and the history for my friends across the pond who may not know about Phil:

On this day in 1887, Groundhog Day, featuring a rodent meteorologist, is celebrated for the first time at Gobbler’s Knob in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. According to tradition, if a groundhog comes out of its hole on this day and sees its shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter weather; no shadow means an early spring.

 

ghd-5Groundhog Day has its roots in the ancient Christian tradition of Candlemas Day, when clergy would bless and distribute candles needed for winter. The candles represented how long and cold the winter would be. Germans expanded on this concept by selecting an animal–the hedgehog–as a means of predicting weather. Once they came to America, German settlers in Pennsylvania continued the tradition, although they switched from hedgehogs to groundhogs, which were plentiful in the Keystone State.

The line of groundhogs that have since been known as Phil might be America’s most famous groundhogs, but other towns across North America now have their own weather-predicting rodents, from Birmingham Bill to Staten Island Chuck to Shubenacadie Sam in Canada.

ghd-herb

This one is for you, HERB!

According to the Weather Channel, the forecast in Punxsutawney is a high chance of cloudy skies, and even a chance of a flurry or two. According to the legend, this means an early spring is ahead. For the record, Punxsutawney Phil has only been accurate 39% of the time since 1887.

I used to say that Groundhog Day was my favourite holiday, mostly because it did not require a lot of effort on my part … no huge meal to cook, no presents to buy and wrap, no tree to decorate or lights to string.

ghd-4

I happened across a humorous piece I thought you might enjoy.  Scott Feschuk, a Canadian speechwriter, humourist and former newspaper journalist, wrote this satire piece after hearing Trump’s rather ridiculous speech on black history.  It is his take on what a speech by Trump to commemorate Groundhog Day might be like:

“Well, this is Groundhog Day, so these are just a few little notes I want to share with you. On this day, we honour the tremendous history of groundhogs throughout our country. Throughout the world, if you really think about it, right? Because that’s where groundhogs are and where they live. Here but also there. Everywhere, really, except not exactly everywhere but almost.

Mostly in the ground though, on or it, or in the vicinity – which is why we call them that. Groundhogs. Right there in the name.

They’re incredible animals and their incredible example is unique in many ways. So many unique ways that honestly there’s no point in me examining any of them in any detail. We all know. We all know bigly.

You’ve all heard about groundhogs. They are well known and people know about them. We have some good ones. We have the one from that place in Pennsylvania and we have other ones and we have the one from that golf movie with one of the Ghostbusters. There are others. Many others that we all know, and I also know them.

The groundhog from the movie Groundhog Day is an example of a groundhog who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I noticed. Big impact. But all groundhogs – big impact on the seasons and the changing of the seasons. There are several seasons and we all know what they are.

I do very well with groundhogs, by the way, not that you’d know from CNN which is fake news and disgraceful. But I do substantially better than others have done. They hear me talk about underground life—it’s horrible, life is short, you can get killed by a wolf on the way to pick up an acorn. They hear me and they love me.

The groundhog is cherished. I am very proud of the fact that people in America can learn about groundhogs, and many other things. And they can learn about their many, many accomplishments, which we celebrate on this day, which is why it is called Groundhogs Day and is so special.

I’m proud to honour our groundhog heritage and will be honouring it more and more. Like I said before, a groundhog is an animal—much like a fox is also an animal. And Fox News has treated me very nice. Wherever Fox is, thank you.

Omarosa saw a groundhog once.” 

So there you have it.  Everything you always wanted to know about Groundhog Day and more!  For the record, though I am not a cute, furry little animal that lives in holes in the ground, my prediction is that the sun has taken a permanent vacation.  Here, we have had exactly one sunny day since January 20th.  One.  Just ONE!  I think the sun came out, saw something evil, and went back behind the clouds for protection.

ghd-max

AAUGH!!!!!

Posted on by under Rants, Social commentary

arghThe “headline” reads: NBC NEWS: All Americans Will Receive A Microchip Implant In 2017.  Despite the fact that it indicates it is from NBC News, in very small grey print at the bottom, it says “DAILYMEDIAINFO by ADMIN2”.  This is precisely the type of pseudo-news I was referring to the other day.  A friend of mine, a very intelligent man with a college education, posted this and believed it.  Dailymedia.info, by the way, is a satirical website that mimics actual news.

Here is the “news story”:

NBC has recently predicted that in 2017, all of America will be tagged with microchips. They will be implanted to help identify individuals immediately. According to the report, the technology is used to answer one question, “Am I who I say I am?”Some worry, however, that the RFID Microchip will give the government too much power, allowing them to track every move. In some states, like Virginia, legislation is in process to stop this from happening. The report also reveals an RFID Brain Chip that has been developed and is currently being tested on several humans.It was reported that the use of Micro-Chips in Bill H.R. 4872 was located on Page 1014 under “National Medical Device Registry” it tells about a “Class II Device That is Implantable” and yes, they passed the bill. Read Page “1014″ In The H.R. 4872 Read Class II Special Controls Guidance For FDA Staff.

With the RFID Microchip they can track the movement of the people that are implanted. They can also control the money and food of the people. It is also reported to be possible to even kill the people that don’t obey. The HR 3962 Bill is an exact copy of the HR 3200 bill in with the exception of just a few words removed concerning the RFID Microchip but the ability to Chip Every Citizen of the United States is still in the bill. Open Bill and Read Pages 1501 through 1510 Read Class II Special Controls Guidance For FDA Staff Read And Do The Research For Yourself …

And here is what Snopes has to say about it:

Despite multiple, detailed debunkings (here at snopes.com and elsewhere), the rumor that the provisions of Obamacare require that Americans submit to the implantation of microchips that will record and store retrievable medical information (and a host of other personal details) is a persistent one.

One of the pieces of “evidence” now commonly proffered in support of this claim is a video clip from an NBC Nightly News broadcast (with anchor Brian Williams) touted as reporting that “All Americans Will Receive a Microchip Implant in 2017”:

But of course, simply viewing the clip in question shows that it actually reported nothing of the kind.

This clip is a (typically brief and shallow) NBC Evening News feature from 2007 speculating upon what life might be like in the U.S. in ten years’ time (i.e., 2017). This particular segment focused on ways in which we might “safeguard and identify all those things that make each of us unique,” addressing in particular the use of biometrics (technologies that measure and analyze human body characteristics) to build and access databases of information about individuals, for purposes ranging from security identification to recognizing their consumer preferences.

A potential future technology mentioned at the beginning of the clip was the use of chips implanted under the skin that would store important medical information to be retrieved by those responsible for delivering medical care and treatment. But microchips were just one of several possible biometric technologies surveyed in the segment, along with fingerprints, iris scans, and facial recognition software. Nowhere did the clip claim or predict that “all Americans will receive a microchip implant in 2017,” any more than it asserted that (as imagined in the 2002 neo-noir science fiction mystery-thriller film Minority Report) by 2017 retailers will be scanning our irises as we enter their stores to show us promotions tailored to our buying habits and preferences.

In short, NBC simply mentioned the use of microchips for personal ID purposes (along with several other biometric technologies) as something that might come about by 2017; they didn’t definitively state that it would be commonplace by then, much less maintain that it would be a mandatory provision of daily life in America. And they certainly didn’t link it to any provision of Obamacare, as the NBC report initially aired over two years prior to the passage of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.

I perused some of the comments and the people who believed this hoax outnumbered those who realized the ridiculousness of it by a landslide.  In fact, our of 188 comments, I only saw one comment (other than my own) that said it was not even believable. Granted, I did not read all 188, as they were making me ill, but I read a good sampling. Most were convinced that it was real and compared it to religious texts.  What is it about this that is even remotely credible?  If anybody took a second to stop and think about it, first of all, WHY would good ol’ Uncle Sam want to do that?  The U.S. government does not have the time nor manpower to track every citizen.  HOW would they do it?  Are they going to send notices asking people to come to their clinic?  Right.  Or would they go house to house … 53% of which probably have a gun handy.  And a “brain chip”?  Seriously?

good griefI shared this today only because it was one of the most glaringly false ones that I have seen, and because I was disappointed that a friend who should know better shared and believed such nonsense.  It speaks to me of our willingness, as a society, to buy into conspiracy theories and other forms of lies, rather than think for ourselves or investigate.  We cannot afford to stop thinking for ourselves and let silly Facebook memes tell us what to believe.  We simply cannot!

Erdo-how, Erdo-where, Erdoğun – Continued

Posted on by under Global Issues, Social commentary

You mean to tell me that Erdoğan is still mad about the video?  Let us re-hash … first there was the song/video “Erdowie, Erdowo, Erdoğan” that aired on Germany’s NDR, a regional television channel, as I reported in my  post of 9 April 2016.

Left there, it might have been well and fine, as although Erdoğan complained to the German Ambassador and “demanded” it be removed, the German government stood firm in their country’s freedom of speech laws, thus it might have died there.   But no, along came German comedian Jan Böhmermann with a poem on ZDF, a German public-service television broadcaster (I had hoped to provide the text of this poem, but I have been thus far unsuccessful in finding it). The poem contained numerous sexual innuendos, accusing Erdoğan of repressing minorities, including Kurds and Christians.  The opening scene was particularly witty. Jan Böhmermann introduced the poem with a warning: What he was about to do, he said, actually wasn’t allowed and that such slanderous statements could be punished and removed from the TV program. And that’s exactly what happened. ZDF did indeed remove the controversial portion of the show from its online media center.

Thereafter, Chancellor Angela Merkel, in a telephone call  with Turkish Prime Minister Ahmet Davutoglu, agreed that Böhmermann had recited a “deliberately abusive text.”  She also reiterated the “high value” the German government placed on freedoms of the press and public opinion, however ZDF ultimately removed the video.  Böhmermann admitted that the earlier video was protected under German free speech laws but that the new one, which purposely mocked the foreign leader, would not be. Under German law, “whosoever insults a foreign head of state … shall be liable to imprisonment not exceeding three years or a fine.” At Turkey’s request, German prosecutors have launched a preliminary inquiry into Böhmermann’s work.

But the story doesn’t even end there.  A Turkish doctor, Bilgin Ciftci, is looking at two years in prison for daring to suggest that President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan looks like Gollum, the ruined hobbit-like character from The Lord of the Rings.  erdogan-gollum

A court in the Aydin province took the matter seriously enough to bring in a group of experts – “two academics, two psychologists, and one movie expert” – to testify about whether the comparison was an insult. The judge admitted he had not seen Peter Jackson’s blockbuster films based on J.R.R. Tolkien’s fantasy classic, which would seem to be a problem easily rectified when two years of a man’s life are on the line, but instead they brought in a crew of Tolkienologists and gave them until February to “analyze Gollum.” Dr. Ciftci has already been fired from his job at a hospital over the image he posted online, and was briefly detained in October.

The Jerusalem Post reports that the court’s challenge is not to rule on the physical resemblance between President Erdoğan and the creature formerly known as Smeagol, but rather to determine if the comparison is insulting. The defendant is arguing that Gollum is a tragic figure ultimately redeemed by his fate in the story. This is not really funny, because it is a grim example of repression in a country whose membership in NATO could pull the Western world into a conflict with Russia, but it is virtually impossible to read any report about the case without laughing.

Unfortunately for Erdoğan, he has unwittingly exposed his Achilles Heel and the masses are standing in line waiting for a chance to help bring about his downfall.  Former Miss Turkey, Merve Buyuksarac, became the subject of scrutiny for posting a satirical poem on Instagram. Two teenage boys were charged with a crime for tearing down posters of Erdoğan earlier this year, freed when they admitted they did not know whose posters they had vandalized. In March, police arrested a 13-year-old in erdogan selfiethe middle of class for having posted something deemed “insulting” of Erdoğan on Facebook. Nor are publications immune; the magazine Nokta faced a legal probe after publishing a cartoon depicting Erdoğan taking a selfie next to the coffin of a Turkish soldier.

And then there was the case I mentioned in my post of 24 February 2016  of the Polish truck driver who sued his wife for insulting Erdoğan.  “Even if it is my father who swears against or insults the president, I would not forgive and I would complain,” he said.  Filosofa has no comment.  Filosofa is speechless.

Turkey’s president Recep Tayyip Erdoğan has much on his plate, as president of Turkey, at the moment.  He is trying to figure out what to do with the thousands of migrants it will be taking back from Europe, thwart terrorist attacks in major tourist hubs like Istanbul and Ankara, and stem the flow of refugees from Syria.  Yet, it would appear that he is most concerned with those who would mock him, even those who do not live under, and are not subject to his rule.  Mr. Erdoğan has no sense of humour, at least when the joke is on him.  Though he has left himself open to this type of criticism and mockery, he lacks the ability to laugh at himself.  Where does this end?  Does this whole ordeal compromise Turkey’s much-desired membership in the EU?  How will this affect the Turkey-EU immigration deal?  I do not know the answers to these questions, but I do know that I expect better things from a leader of a nation than the pettiness shown by Mr. Erdoğan.  And closer to home, it reminds me very much of at least one presidential wanna-be who has already threatened to change the landscape of our constitution, starting with freedom of speech, freedom of the press, and who also lacks the ability to laugh at himself, or to tolerate those who do.

You may wonder why I am making a big deal of this in my post(s).  My initial post was because I heard about the song from a friend/fellow-blogger, and I thought it was funny!  But now, my purpose has evolved into a statement on freedom of speech.  We in the U.S. have been blessed with a foundation for government, the U.S. Constitution, that provides and protects our rights to freely criticize our leaders.  Granted, many have abused the privilege, but it has not been taken away from us.  Think about this as you head to the primaries in the coming two months, and to the polls in November.  Remember Erdoğan and ask yourself if that is the world you want to be living in a year from now.

Filosofa’s Onion … or … 2018 Unleashed

Posted on by under Global Issues, Political commentary, Social commentary

Contrary to my predictions and yes, hopes, Trump won the New Hampshire republican primary last night. He received 99,268 votes at last count (Wednesday, 12:55 p.m.). So, let us take a look at some of the headlines you might see two years from now in the unlikely event that Trump can actually fool enough people to win in the general election in November:

Dateline February 10, 2018:

• This November, the ballot will include a referendum to select a new name for the nation. Your two choices, your only two choices, are:

o The Trump States of America
o The United States of Trump

• The latest census information indicates although a record 41.3 million refugees and immigrants were either deported or executed in 2017, the population of the U.S. continues to rise, as a record number of unwanted babies are being born to teens and others since abortion became illegal and Planned Parenthood was dissolved. New orphanages are being built, but will not be completed until next year, as funding for the project was delayed by Congress in favour of further military expansion.

• Some one thousand new prisons are being funded this year, approximately twenty per state, since all gun laws and controls were removed and the crime rate has increased by a factor of 500%. The new prisons are expected to provide 94,000 new jobs nationwide.

• Delta Airlines, who as recently as two years ago saw profits of $4 billion annually, has filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy and it is anticipated that other major airlines will follow suit by the end of the year. Since the disbanding of TSA, coupled with gun control laws being overturned, the skies are no longer a safe place to be and people just do not travel anymore. The losers here will be the stockholders, as it is highly unlikely there will be anything left for distribution among ownership.

• Former Secretary of Education, John B. King, Jr., was recently arrested and taken to a labour camp outside of Juneau, Alaska. Other heads of recently-abolished federal government departments have been taken to Palinslavia, a concentration camp near Nome, Alaska. Both President Trump and Vice-President Palin deny rumours that there have been mass executions.

• The unemployment rate saw another sharp incline last quarter, as teachers and others in the education field joined the ranks of the jobless since the dissolution of public education. Additionally, many parents have been forced to leave their jobs to stay home and care for children who are no longer in school.

• Senator Cliven Bundy (R-Nevada) introduced legislation for a constitutional amendment to extend the president’s term of office from the current four-year term to a sixteen-year term. The bill is expected to receive wide support in both the Senate and the House. If the bill receives 2/3 approval in both the House and the Senate, there will be no need for ratification by the states. If passed, President Trump’s term would not expire until 2033, meaning our next presidential election would be in the year 2032.

• The average life expectancy in the U.S. has dropped from 78.74 years in 2012 to 57.2 years in 2018. The reasons include the dissolution of the CDC (Center for Disease Control), increased gun-related deaths, seniors going without needed treatments and medications since Medicare was abolished in 2017, and increased police brutality, particularly in the African-American community. An investigation was launched by WHO (World Health Organization), but thus far they have been denied access to data by the federal government.

• The states of Washington, Oregon and California have reportedly formed a coalition with the intent of seceding from the United States. President Trump has threatened to “bomb the shit out of them”.

• With millions of children no longer in school, Vice President Palin is asking Congress to consider a proposal to reverse laws that prohibit or control children in the workplace. Former president of the AFL-CIO, Richard Trumka, spoke against the proposal at a rally in downtown Manhattan last Saturday. Trumka has not been seen since and his wife claims that government agents took him from their home in the middle of the night on Saturday. The matter is currently under investigation.

• President Trump will travel to the NRE (New Russian Empire) next week to meet with President Vladimir Putin regarding joint operations against the EU. NRE is the only remaining ally of the U.S. since it severed all ties with the United Nations last year when the UNSC (United Nations Security Council) attempted to bring charges against the U.S. and President Trump for genocide and crimes against humanity.

• Public transportation in most major cities, including Washington D.C., New York and Los Angeles has been suspended indefinitely due to increased fuel costs and fuel shortages. President Trump has stated emphatically that he will not negotiate with OPEC countries regarding sanctions he imposed last year and he plans to build a pipeline from the Middle East and make OPEC pay for it. Meanwhile, the cost of gasoline at the pump this week remains a steady $18.93 per gallon.

I could go on … and on … and on, but in the interest of keeping this readable, I will spare you any more of this depressing drivel. Farcical? Satirical? Sure it is, but sometimes you have to over-dramatize in order to get a point across. Am I worried that Trump will actually become president? No, for a few reasons:

• Trump lost in Iowa, where his poll numbers were showing him in 1st. What happened? How many more times will he lose where the polls predict him to win?

• Trump won 99,268 votes, in NH, but on the democrat side, Sanders and Clinton came in with 147,291 and 93,443 respectively (data as of Wednesday, 12:55 p.m.). New Hampshire is a “red” state, meaning that the republicans are in the majority there, yet even the second-place candidate on the democrat side fared nearly as well as Trump. This says a lot about the direction the independents or “undecided” voters are taking.

• A large portion of republicans have declared that they will either vote democratic or stay home in November if Trump wins the nomination. Either way, it helps the democrats and hurts Trump.

• Finally, though I sometimes question it, I do still have faith that the American people are more savvy than this and will come to understand that, while Trump promises to give people the very things they want, he has thus far been unable to offer any answers to the question “and how will you do these things?”  Talk is cheap and it is easy to make promises … much harder, sometimes, to follow through on promises.