With apologies to all, Saturday Surprise is on hiatus for this morning.  If perchance I find a bit of humour somewhere in my heart later today, you may see a ‘Sunday Surprise’ tomorrow.  Meanwhile, I am filled with snarky angst, and so I shall share with you some snippets of snark, ‘k?

What an honour … NOT!

I wrote a few days ago about Trump’s rambling speech at the site of a new Shell facility in Pennsylvania where he turned what was to have been a speech into a campaign rally.  It gets even better (where better is worse).  The facility is Shell’s multibillion-dollar ethane cracker plant in Beaver County, Pennsylvania that is currently under construction.  An ethane cracker plant is one that takes oil and gas and breaks it into smaller molecules, to create ethylene, which is used in plastics manufacturing.  Not one thing environmentally friendly to see here, folks.  But, to my point …

Take a look at the photo below to see how well-attended the event was by Shell workers …

A dedicated bunch, devoted to being good little Trumpeters, right?  Only problem is that … well, take a look at the memo they received prior to Trump’s visit …

For my visually impaired readers, the relevant points of the memo are as follows:

• All personnel will be bused to the Trump speech location. Prepare to stand for several hours. You will be standing through your normal lunch period. Lunch WILL NOT be provided.
• No yelling, shouting, protesting, or anything viewed as resistance will be tolerated at the event. An underlying theme of the event is to promote good will from the labour unions.  Your building trades leaders and job stewards have agreed to this.
• Your attendance is not mandatory. This will be considered an excused absence.  However, those who are NOT in attendance will not receive overtime pay on Friday.

So, in order to receive their overtime, they must attend a Trump rally, keep their mouths shut, play nice, and stand idly on their feet without lunch for several hours.

It was only a matter of time …

How many times have those of us with functioning brains said that guns in schools are a bad … really bad … idea?  It was only a matter of time before it happened.  Luckily, this time no child was shot, but it will happen … the clock is ticking.

It happened at Highland Elementary School in South Bloomfield Township, south of Columbus, Ohio.  Vicky Nelson, the transportation director for the district, was one of those selected to carry a concealed weapon in order to “protect” the students.  One day back in March (for some reason, this was not made public until just this week), Ms. Nelson had her 6-year-old grandson who attends the school, and another first-grader in her office when she left the office briefly to go to the bathroom.

When she returned, the gun (loaded) was on the desk … the children had found it in the desk and removed it from its ‘concealed’ location to plain view.  This was a near miss but imagine what might have happened.

You’ll be pleased to know that Ms. Nelson has been removed from the school’s concealed carry program and that the school is “currently reviewing the concealed carry program.”  More than once, I’ve envisioned a teacher leaving his gun in his desk drawer, stepping outside for just a minute, and BANG!  It isn’t worth the risk, folks.  Those teachers with guns are not going to stop a shooter with an assault weapon, and it isn’t their job … their job in such a situation would be to see to the safety of the children in their care, not add more bullets to those already flying around!

Prayers for WHAT???

A former co-worker posted a prayer request on Facebook last night.  The reason?  Three days prior, her television had gone out, the television repair person was unable to find the problem, and she was asking for prayers because she thought she had been “pretty patient for 3 days without t.v.”  I nearly choked on my coffee when I read that … children separated from their parents at the border, kept in horrid conditions.  People struggling to put food on the table, others living on park benches on the streets.  People dying of starvation in third world countries.  Air that will soon be unfit to breathe, and water that is becoming increasingly scarce.  Families that cannot afford to take their sick child to a doctor.  And this woman is asking for prayers for an effing t.v.???  Consumerism has run amok.  I wonder how people like her will survive when someday Russia compromises our power grid and there is no electricity for months?  Just thought I’d share that one with you … give you something to think about.

Oh yeah???

Trump held another campaign rally in New Hampshire on Thursday.  When does this guy ever work?  He’s always flitting about the country, playing to his masses, sucking up potential votes for next year … and we’re paying him for this???  Anyway, I just wanted to share with you one thing he said at the rally that really set my teeth on edge …

“See, the bottom line is, I know you like me and this room is a lovefest and I know that, but you have no choice but to vote for me, because your 401(k)s … down the tubes. Everything is going to be down the tubes.  So whether you love me or hate me, you’ve got to vote for me.”

I would willingly swallow a cyanide capsule before I would vote for him.

Greenland is NOT for sale, but …

The current occupant of the big White House isn’t satisfied with just one nation to ruin … he is now seeking, so say certain of his aides, to purchase Greenland.  Well, methinks li’l Donnie is in for a rude awakening, but you just don’t wake up one morning and decide to buy a country.

Greenland is an autonomous territory of Denmark.  Greenland’s Premier Kim Kielsen stated in no uncertain terms …

“Greenland is not for sale, but Greenland is open for trade and cooperation with other countries, including the USA.”

Foreign affairs spokesman for Denmark, Soren Espersen, went a step further …

“If he is truly contemplating this, then this is final proof, that he has gone mad. The thought of Denmark selling 50,000 citizens to the United States is completely ridiculous.”

So, I think it’s safe to say that we won’t be buying Greenland, but what, even, was Trump’s motivation for saying, repeatedly, that he wanted his aides to look into it?  Is there coal under Greenland that Mr. Piggy would like to get his hands on?  Here’s one possibility …But, last night friend Ellen sent me the latest by humourist Andy Borowitz, writing The Borowitz Report for The New Yorker, and this sounds like a much better idea!

COPENHAGEN (The Borowitz Report)—After rebuffing Donald J. Trump’s hypothetical proposal to purchase Greenland, the government of Denmark has announced that it would be interested in buying the United States instead.

“As we have stated, Greenland is not for sale,” a spokesperson for the Danish government said on Friday. “We have noted, however, that during the Trump regime pretty much everything in the United States, including its government, has most definitely been for sale.”

“Denmark would be interested in purchasing the United States in its entirety, with the exception of its government,” the spokesperson added.

A key provision of the purchase offer, the spokesperson said, would be the relocation of Donald Trump to another country “to be determined,” with Russia and North Korea cited as possible destinations.

If Denmark’s bid for the United States is accepted, the Scandinavian nation has ambitious plans for its new acquisition. “We believe that, by giving the U.S. an educational system and national health care, it could be transformed from a vast land mass into a great nation,” the spokesperson said.

That “key provision” appeals, does it not?

Enjoy your weekend, my friends!