It’s Monday … Be Jolly … Or Else

jollyWelcome friends!  It’s that day of the week again … Monday!  Back to work, back to school, laundry piled up in every hamper, a whole week ahead.  Jolly, jolly Monday, yes?  Did you guys have a good weekend?  My friend Emily, who lives on the West Coast of Canada, already has flowers coming up in her yard.  Another friend, Gary, who lives in Yorkshire in the UK, recently posted pictures of flowers that have already bloomed in his garden.  NO FAIR!!!  It is cold here, with 7 straight days of snowfall predicted starting next weekend.  There is nary a crocus in my yard and likely won’t be for at least another 8 weeks or so!  I’ve been CHEATED!!!

Okay … now that I’ve got that out of my system, let’s see if we can rustle up a bit to eat and a few laughs, shall we?


Jackpot!!!

Tyler Heep won the lottery in his home state of Iowa!  He won a biiiiiig check!tyler-heep-lotteryWell, the check was big, but the amount was likely worth less than the paper the check was printed on.  You see, Tyler actually won $1 on a scratch-off ticket last week.  Instead of turning it in, he went to the Iowa Lottery Headquarters, and asked for one of those big ceremonial checks.

“The guy came down the stairs and they took me into the back room where the camera was with the Iowa Lottery logo. Sure enough they wrote me the one dollar check and had me hold it up and took the picture.”

So, what did Mr. Heep do with all that money?  He says he bought almost a half-gallon of gas.


Oh I’d love to be an Oscar Mayer wiener (mobile) …

Remember the wienermobile?  According to Wikipedia …

“Wienermobile” is a series of automobiles shaped like a bun which are used to promote and advertise Oscar Mayer products in the United States. The first version was created in 1936 by Oscar Mayer’s nephew, Carl G. Mayer, and variants are still used by the Oscar Mayer company today. Drivers of the Wienermobiles are known as Hotdoggers and often hand out toy whistles shaped as replicas of the Wienermobile, known as Wienerwhistles.”

Here’s one of the very first, circa 1940 …

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And here’s one circa 1952 …

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Well, the wienermobile is still around today!  Who knew?  Best news yet, though, is that they are hiring drivers!  The job, which begins in June and lasts for one year, would involve driving the iconic sausage across the United States, visiting locations including stores, military bases and charity events.wienermobileThe company’s website states applicants should have a four-year degree in public relations, journalism, communications, advertising or marketing.

The “condiments” that come with the job are listed by Oscar Mayer as a competitive salary, benefits, clothing and a company car “guaranteed to turn heads.”

I’ve gotten the details for you and the address to send in your résumé, but hurry, for they are only accepting applications through January 31st … that’s Thursday … so get yours sent in now!

jolly♫ I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner
That is what I truly wish to be
Cause if I were a oscar mayer weiner
Everyone would be in love with me


Pick your brain …

sudokyRecently I’ve begun checking to see what day it is … no, no … not day of the week, but national _______ day, such as National Hot Dog Day, etc.  Why, you ask?  Because it’s fun, only takes a few seconds, and I’m always on the lookout for fun things to include in my posts.  Now, the one I want to include today doesn’t actually occur until tomorrow, January 29th, but tomorrow isn’t a Jolly Monday, and while I don’t yet know just what I’ll write about on Tuesday, it’s doubtful that National Puzzle Day will fit in very well … you see the dilemma, right?  Oops … I just gave it away!

rubik-cubeNational Puzzle Day … who knew there was such a thing?  Puzzles are great mental exercise and help keep our minds sharp, whether your choice is a crossword, jigsaw, trivia, word search, brain teaser or Sudoku.  I used to do the New York Times crossword and a Sudoku or two each day, but lately I spend so much time writing that I rarely tackle one.  National Puzzle Day has an interesting origin, though.

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Jodi Jill

National Puzzle Day celebrates its 10th anniversary this year and was the brainchild of a writer/columnist, Jodi Jill.  Now, Jodi’s story is not one for a Jolly Monday post, but I strongly urge you to read about her life, for it is a story I cannot even begin to imagine.

crosswordMeanwhile, though, be sure to work a puzzle on Tuesday in honour of National Puzzle Day!  Puzzle.net is offering free puzzles through the month of January, including one I’ve never heard of, Brain Baffler, which was created by Jodi Jill herself.  Have fun! puzzle-1


And now, my friends, we all have things we have to do.  Think of our friend Hugh on Wednesday when temperatures where he lives are going to dip to a low of -27° (F), which is -33° Celsius.  All of you keep safe and warm and have a great week!  Don’t forget to …share-smile

Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa & Jolly!!!

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This one’s for you, Hugh!!!  Keep warm!

Jolly Monday — Funny Furries

Hey guys!  Come in out of the cold … I hear some of you got dumped on over the weekend … last night I heard that Chicago’s O’Hare Airport had canceled some 700 flights!  Luckily, I think it’s supposed to go north of us and land in Maine somewhere.  Mr. LePage deserves it!  So how was your weekend?

I had a really difficult time doing ‘funny’ last night, and even Jolly wasn’t much help.  All the humour in my usual ‘go-to’ sources seemed a bit macabre, like the guy who was trying to steal gasoline from a U-Haul and set himself and the U-Haul truck on fire.  Somehow … it just didn’t make me laugh.  So, instead of a variety of humour today, I am falling back on the one thing that always works, funny animals.  Jolly, by the way, is still in bed … I think perhaps he’s coming down with something.

Grab a snack and a nice hot cuppa java, and settle in for a bit of furry funnies before you set out to start the week off.

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And let’s wrap up with a few jokes, shall we?

 

 

And I’m sorry, folks, but that’s all the funny I have in me for today.  Share a smile, a laugh, or even a hug today with a friend, a co-worker or a stranger, okay?  Keep warm, keep safe, and have a great week!!!Monday-smile-2

♫ ♫ ♫ Dydd Llun! ♫ ♫ ♫

Good Monday Morning, dear readers!  I realize that many of you in the U.S. are still feeling a bit sleep-deprived after setting your clocks forward on Sunday morning, so I shall try to be extra cheerful.  Then again, sleep-deprived people tend to see cheery people as annoying, so perhaps I should grumble and growl along with you this morning.  But no … I actually had the benefit of nearly four full hours of sleep last night, so I shall be cheerfully cheeky, and I even have a couple of funny jokes to add to my usual Monday morning fare!  So grab your coffee … tea for those of you across the pond … and let us see if we can kick off this Monday with a grin, a chuckle, or … might it be too much to ask … a laugh!


You all remember my posts last March & April about the gnomes … and the man, Steve Hoke, who built them their own little gnome homes? The Gnomes Have Lost Their Homes! and Update: The Gnomes Have New Homes!!!  Well today we have the story of Chris Newsome who makes teeny tiny hats for the toad that visits him every night!  Each evening when he sat on his porch at the end of a long day, he noticed he was paid a visit by a toad.  The same toad kept coming back night after night.  Chris and the Toadie got to be friends, Chris knew he could confide his deepest, darkest secrets to the toad, and as time went by, Chris began trying to think of something special he could do for Toadie to show his appreciation.  So … he decided to make him … a HAT! And not just any hat, but quite a fancy hat, complete with a feather!

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Well, Toadie liked his hat so much that ol’ Chris got to work and made him yet another … and another!

Turns out Chris’ dog Daisy did not like the hat quite so much …

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Seriously, Dad???


Monday-snowSome parts of the U.S. are expecting the largest snowfall of what has otherwise been a very mild winter this week.  I have heard estimates ranging from three inches to eight inches.  Given that we have had no more than an inch or two a couple of times this winter, eight inches sounds like a lot of snow, and people are already lining up at the grocery stores to get that gallon of milk and bag of Cheetos!  But compared to the Hida Mountains in Japan … we do not even know what mega-snow is!

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The Hida Mountains are part of the Japanese Alps and meteorologists suspect that parts of the range receive as much as 1,500 inches of snow a year, or 125 feet! There is stretch of highway known as yuki-no-otani, or Snow Canyon that runs for about a quarter-mile along the base of a broad ridgeline where the height of the canyon’s snow walls can reach a staggering 66 feet! That is about the height of a 6-story building! Amazingly, this road is open year-round.

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Takuma Igarashi, a Japanese snow plow driver of more than 20 years, has this to say:

“This is a job and someone has to do it. We might be doing it in the shadows, but it’s for the benefit of everyone. Here in Toyama sometimes you’ll have 20 to 30 centimeters of snowfall in just one night. If we don’t remove the snow, no one would be able to pass.”

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I believe I have mentioned before that the Japanese are stoics and have a work ethic not often seen elsewhere in the world.  When told that New York had closed schools across the city last February for a storm that dropped nine inches of snow (23 centimeters), Mr. Igarashi laughed.

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THIS, folks, is what ‘snowbound’ means!


I have sometimes opined in, shall we say a negative way, about the state of Indiana.  I actually try to keep this to a minimum, as I have some very dear friends who live in Indiana and prefer not to offend good friends … most times.  But today, I have to say Indiana may be deserving of being called the “State with a Heart”.  And what, you ask, have they done to deserve this honour?  (You can already figure, if you know me by now, that it has something to do with animals, right?)  They built RAMPS!  Teeny little ramps to help ducks and geese cross a canal that flows through downtown Indianapolis.

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Apparently ducks were going into the canal, then unable to climb back up the banks of the canal and were drowning.  😥  The ramps are made of wood and insulation, so they float along the canal, providing a sort of raft for the ducks and geese.  Now THAT’s a city with a heart!


I quit believing in romance many decades ago.  I believe in love of many sorts, but the kind of romance where the man brings flowers and surprises his woman with candlelight dinners … um, no.  Same is true for the mythical ‘proposal on bended knee’.  But I just might have to admit an exception for this special couple.

Dale Sharpe and Karlie Russel are both landscape photographers for DK Photography based in Australia’s Gold Coast. Although they had connected online some time before, they first met in person to do a sunset photo shoot together on the Gold Coast.

Monday-Gold-Coast

Since then, the couple has traveled the world, photographing the wonders of nature, and one of their favourites has been the Northern Lights, also known as Aurora Borealis.  Nine months ago, Dale decided to propose to Karlie in a unique way.  He bought her a $4,000 engagement ring, then on a trip to Iceland, he tucked the engagement ring in a lotion bottle, which he told Karlie was pricey and belonged to his mom. However, Murphy’s Law kicked in when, at the airport, Karlie’s luggage was a bit overweight, and unbeknownst to Dale, she tossed the bottle of lotion in a trash can.  Now this man … this man has earned my admiration … when he asked her later where the lotion bottle was, she told him what she had done, and do you know what he said?  “I politely said, ‘That’s OK,’ while internally screaming. I couldn’t really tell her and ruin my proposal plan.”

So Dale began saving his money once again, and was finally able to afford yet another engagement ring.  Presumably, he carried this one on his person at all times.  Last week, on a photo shoot in the Lofoten Islands of Norway, Dale and Karlie were once again taking pictures of the Aurora Borealis when suddenly Dale dropped to one knee and popped the question.

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“I was completely blown away as it was the last thing I was expecting at that time. I kept telling Dale to hurry up so we could get a landscape shot instead. After he set up the camera, then to my surprise got down on one knee, I was in shock but of course said, ‘yes!’”

Monday-Dale-Karlie-2The couple is now officially engaged, though no date has yet been set.  “Having to buy two engagement rings means the savings is a little behind!” Dale said. And yes, this may be a case that fulfills my criteria for “romance” … one of the few.


Now for the promised jokes:

Don’t talk to the Parrot

Wanda’s dishwasher was broken, so she called in a repairman.  Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman,  ‘I’ll leave the key under the mat.  Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. Oh, by the way, don’t worry about my dog Spike. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!  I MUST STRESS TO YOU: DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!”

When the repairman arrived at Wanda’s apartment, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.

Finally, the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, ‘Shut up, you stupid, frickin ugly bird!’

To which the parrot replied, ‘Get him, Spike!’

See – Men just don’t listen!


I lied…

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the County Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman. With her youthful sex appeal and charm, she hangs on to Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast.

At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?” Bob replies, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!” They are surprised but continue to ask—“So, how’d you persuade her to marry you?”

“I lied about my age,” Bob replies.

“What…did you tell her you were only 50”, they asked.

Bob smiles and says, “No, I told her I was 95.”


Alright, folks … you have had some chuckles, a warm-fuzzy moment, and some more chuckles.  This is all I can give you to start the morning out, so I hope it was enough to make you forget about that hour of sleep you lost.  Time for you to head on out that door, endure the cold arctic temps, and go share that smile with somebody else who is grumpy & grumbly this morning.  And might I suggest that if you really feel a need to regain your ‘lost hour’, you go to bed an hour earlier tonight?  😀  (P.S. I am struggling for ideas for Monday morning post titles!  If anybody comes up with something catchy and relevant, please let me know!)

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Ready for Work!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Winter Storm Warning!!!

Earlier this week, a winter storm moved through the eastern half of the U.S. … yes, another one … sigh. Now, I know this may come as a shock to some, but it is winter and that means that those of us who are not fortunate enough to live in Southern California or Florida will likely be treated to snow, sleet, freezing rain and cold temperatures when a winter storm comes. A century ago, people read the Old Farmer’s Almanac and tried to predict when a storm would likely hit, but today we have this marvelous thing called Doppler radar and meteorologists to interpret what the Doppler images might mean for various parts of the country. These meteorologists and their minions then proceed to warn us all via television, radio, and the internet of the impending storm, even to the point of telling us exactly when it will start, what will happen, when it will end, and how much snow or ice we can expect once it is ended. Now, I have two points I want to make on this subject

Point one is that meteorology as a science is yet imperfect and in reality, though it may appear that a given storm will take a certain path, Mother Nature has a really sick sense of humour and is just as likely as not to blow it a bit to the south, a bit to the north, or fizzle it out altogether. So, while it is wonderful to have the technology we have, one must always understand that what the meteorologist sees at noon may vary vastly from what he sees five hours later, all of which may have no connection to the reality of tomorrow. Additionally, the meteorologist you see on your television is not a pure science guy and is being paid big bucks for being the most popular “weather guy” in the neighborhood and thus earning ratings for his/her station. What this means is that he may find it necessary or desirable to … shall we say stretch the truth just a bit or expound on the effect of the coming weather, turning a forecast into a major drama, an entertainment event, causing people across the nation to write millions of Facebook posts along the lines of “did you hear that we are going to get two feet of snow?”. Then, of course, every man, woman and child in the area heads to the nearest Kroger to “lay in supplies” ample for at least two weeks of being snowed under. More often than not, the snow is a few inches or never shows up at all, but every household has a full pantry and overflowing refrigerator. Ever wonder why winter lends itself to obesity? Wonder no more. The whole point being that television ratings trump science and, while it is always a good idea to be prepared, if one believes everything he/she sees on Channel 9 or The Weather Channel, one will need psychotherapy by the time spring finally arrives.

My second point is that, while some are stocking up at the grocery store, the other half of the population seems to not heed the warning at all and goes on about their merry business-as-usual. Yesterday morning hundreds, perhaps thousands of motorists were stranded on I-65 south of Louisville, Kentucky, for nearly 20 hours when the highway was shut down due to snow accumulations, ice and jackknifed tractor-trailers. The highway crews, of course, were unable to clear the highway because they could not get around all the cars and trucks that were using the highway as a parking lot. One woman who was interviewed had a young child with her and had been stranded for ten hours. Where were these people when the aforementioned meteorologists were spreading their message of gloom and doom throughout the area? I certainly feel empathy for anyone who is stuck in a snowstorm on the highway for hour after hour, but I must ask why, having heard the forecast at least a hundred times during the 24-hour period before it hit, were these people traveling to begin with? Why weren’t they at home foundering on the potato chips and candy bars they bought at Kroger? Furthermore, my own opinion is that to travel in this weather with a small child in tow amounts to nothing less than neglect and irresponsible parenting, but I won’t delve into that here.

In the words of the immortal Mark Twain, “everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it”. We will probably never be able to alter the weather, nor should we, as there would likely be catastrophic consequences if mankind were given the opportunity to further decimate the earth’s climate. We do, however, have tools at our disposal that should make it possible for everyone to prepare in a rational way and stay safe during the worst winter storm. The key word here is “rational”. A trip to the store is rational, but except in the most rural areas, it probably isn’t necessary to buy every pack of disposable diapers and every stalk of broccoli. And planning ahead, whether it’s cancelling non-essential appointments, preparing to spend the night at the office, renting a motel room, or bringing extra work home, will enable most to stay off the highways so that road crews can do their job and restore some semblance of normalcy as quickly as possible. Winter happens every year and yet every year people seem to be caught off-guard. I don’t get it … I just don’t get it.