No Gays in the Space Colony, says Congressman!


Louis Gohmert

He looks normal enough.  Look at his picture … who would ever guess that behind that benign smile lies the mind of a lunatic?  His name is Louis Gohmert, and he is a Republican, a member of the U.S. House of Representatives from Texas.  He has held this office since January, 2005, eleven years.  He is married, has three daughters, and even teaches Sunday school.  Sounds normal, doesn’t he?  Just goes to show that you must never judge a book by its cover, because this man is anything but normal, my friends!

martianPoint in case:  Last week, Mr. Gohmert gave a speech to the House of Representatives stating that in the event of an asteroid colliding with earth, we would need to establish a space colony by putting people in a “space ship that can go, as Matt Damon did in the movie [The Martian], plant a colony somewhere, we can have humans survive this terrible disaster about to befall, if you could decide what 40 people you put on the spacecraft that would save humanity, how many of those would be same-sex couples? You’re wanting to save humankind for posterity, basically a modern-day Noah, you have that ability to be a modern day Noah, you can preserve life. How many same-sex couples would you take from the animal kingdom and from humans to put on a spacecraft to perpetuate humanity and the wildlife kingdom?”


Jonathan Cahn

This, he claims, is justification for LGBT discrimination here on earth, justification for denying any rights to the LGBT community.  He claims that the end of the earth is near, and cites another mentally deficient persona, Jonathan Cahn, a self-professed Rabbi from New York, who claims that God is punishing the U.S. and France for allowing gay marriage, and that the end of the world is near. Of course, Cahn was also the man who predicted a “cataclysmic event in America” to happen on 13 September 2015, and when absolutely nothing of note happened on that day, his only response was that “you can’t put God in a box or He’ll get out of it.”  Right, and if you speak nonsense and talk in circles, nobody will challenge you because they are too busy scratching their heads and trying to figure out exactly what you said!

Mr. Gohmert’s mental unbalance is nothing new, though this space colony thing is certainly his crowning achievement.  In 2010, he put forth the theory that there was an insidious plot afoot involving so called “terror babies.” He claimed he had uncovered a plot involving terrorists sending pregnant women into the US to birth their ‘America-hating children’. The mothers and their kids then return home where, the congressman says, the children “could be raised and coddled as future terrorists”— and later, “twenty, thirty years down the road, they can be sent in to help destroy our way of life.” When interviewed by Anderson Cooper, Cooper asked Mr. Gohmert what proof he had to offer, but since he had, apparently, none, he merely ranted and raved. In 2012, he joined up with Americas #2 bimbo, Michele Bachman, and three others, sending letters to the Inspectors General of the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, the Department of Defense, the Department of Homeland Security, the Department of Justice and the Department of State outlining their “serious national security concerns”, aka “terror babies”.  The group was praised for its inanity by none other than former representative Newt Gingrich.

Mr. Gohmert has won six elections, nearly all by a wide margin of between 70%-90%.  I fail to understand how his obviously delusional character continues to win so much of the popular vote in Texas.  Mr. Gohmert will be running for re-election in November.  Please, good citizens of Texas, give this man a much-needed break so he can seek treatment for his obviously severe mental condition, and get him now and forever out of the federal government!  Another delusional conspiracy-theorist in Congress is not what we need!

I Am Going To Be An ASTRONAUT!

NASA plans to hire 14 new astronauts! Exciting news, indeed! The notice went out last November that they would begin accepting applications on December 4th through mid-February … meaning that if you didn’t already send yours in, you might as well give it up. I sent mine via “certified mail” two weeks ago and am just waiting for my acceptance letter. I am so excited, even though it doesn’t look like I will be going to Mars, but rather helping prepare for a future generation to actually go there. According to the press release, “This next group of American space explorers will inspire the Mars generation to reach for new heights, and help us realize the goal of putting boot prints on the Red Planet,” said NASA Administrator Charles Bolden. “Those selected for this service will fly on U.S. made spacecraft from American soil, advance critical science and research aboard the International Space Station, and help push the boundaries of technology in the proving ground of deep space.” Still, just in case, I am currently reading The Martian by Andy Weir to prepare myself. And I notice I have been going around singing “Fly Me To The Moon” a lot, too!

One small wrinkle is that there are only 14 available positions, and 18,300 people applied for them, a record for NASA. The previous record number of applications was 8,000 in 1978, and only 6,300 applied in 2012, the last time NASA put out a “help wanted” ad. So, let’s see … all other things being equal, that makes my odds about 0.0055%. Sigh. I am glad I polished my resume before I sent it. Having been retired since 2008, it was looking a bit rusty, stagnant. So I embellished … no, I did not say I lied, I said I embellished … just a bit. Rather like a garbage man calling himself a “sanitation engineer”. I went with “chemical analyst” because I use all sorts of chemicals in my daily routine … bleach, toilet cleaner, laundry detergent, etc. And I included “culinary master” because I toss together a meal for three from scratch at least 5 nights a week. And of course “researcher”, as I do a ton of that for the type of writing I do. And last but not least, I listed “animal behaviour expert”, as with eight cats, you know I am da cat whisperer! Plus, as an added edge, I already receive almost-daily emails from NASA letting me know when I can view the ISS (International Space Station) from my house. Now if that doesn’t show my interest in the space program, I don’t know what will! I think I covered all bases, so that should give me an advantage over the other 18,299, don’t you think?

I am curious, though, why all of a sudden so many people want to be an astronaut? The Washington Post espouses the philosophy that it is because many people saw the film version of The Martian, starring Matt Damon as the astronaut stranded on Mars. I don’t know … that doesn’t make sense … I mean, he was stranded! On Mars! He had to grow potatoes using … well, that’s rather disgusting, so I won’t go any further, but let’s just say some of what he went through was not very pleasant. I cannot see that seeing the movie would romanticize the job so much that 18,300 people would want to run right out and jump into a spaceship.

I have my own philosophy about the reason behind the record number of applicants, and it is based on my own reasoning. I think that these are intelligent people who have given the matter serious thought and concluded that being in outer space, even being stranded on Mars, would be preferable to living in this country if Donald Trump is elected the next president! I am covering all bases … I have contacted Justin Trudeau about seeking asylum in Canada, now I have applied to be an astronaut … I need to find one more fallback plan …

Uh-oh. I just remembered something. I am afraid of heights.